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Sexuality & anxiety

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Ok, so here's the deal:

> I'm a 25 y/o guy who likes kinky sex. I like vanilla sex too but BDSM tickles my fancy so to speak.
> New about it since about 15 y/o.
> Always feared it, regarded it as a personal shortcomming, flaw, felt guilty about it.
> Didn't date at all, even when girls tried to pick me up.
> Feared a girl would have rejected me, ridiculed me or thought I was a psycho, once she'd found out.
> Results: Long-term depression, anxiety, eating disorders, low self-esteem.

> Fell in love with a girl a year ago
> Decide to not shut myself away like I usually do
> Ask her out
> TL;DR we start a relationship, she's the greatest thing on earth
> After a couple months hint to her that I have unusual interests in sex
> She's cool with it
> Anxiety still persists despite that, and gets worse
> Anxiety gradually gets more severe, featuring panick attacks
> Decide to do something about it, come out to my GF, full disclosure
> She's still cool, accepting & supportive, thank god
> That was about a month ago
> Came out to my parents recently too, they've been supportive as well
> Anxiety somewhat under control
> Still comes back at times

I'm sort of unsure what to do now in order to get better.
I've just started to go to a therapist who specializes in anxieties and seems ok talking about sex too. Hope that will be helpful.
I still can't seem to shed off the incredibly strong feeling of guilt and fear of exclusion.

Is there something I can do besides what I've already done? Or maybe somewhere I can get support?

Thanks /adv/.
>>
>>16589868

>come out to my parents

why tho? your parents dont need to know anything about your sex life.

as for everything else, im sure you'll get over it if you explore it. everyones got some kind of kink and bdsm is the most common. granted idk how extreme you like it, but almost every single person ive had sex with has some sort of kinky fetish in that realm, at the very least they seem to either enjoy slapping/being slapped and talked to condescendingly during sex.

but then again i only fuck dudes, so maybe its a dude thing idk.,
>>
>>16589868
>Came out to my parents recently too, they've been supportive as well
Wait, what? Why are you telling your parents about this? I love BDSM but I'm not going to tell my mom how much I love it when a guy strangles me.
>>
>>16589872
I didn't tell them any details.
Basically I wanted to provide them an explanation because I was obvious I had depression and issues for some time and I felt like shit and didn't know who to turn to besides my GF.
>>
>>16589871
>granted idk how extreme you like it
I enjoy being tied up and pegged "against my will", for example. Not sure how extreme that's considered.
>>
>>16589887
Alright, they're nice, I'm sure it helped.

I'm sorry that I can't give you more advice. I've never felt ashamed of my sexual preferences. Most of the people I have discussed it with are into kink in some form. I chat with kinksters online and my previous partners were all receptive to trying out a bit. One didn't like it much so we didn't incorporate it much. I didn't think I was looked down on for that or anything.

Maybe read more into kink websites and stuff so you can feel less alone?

You're not a freak or broken for liking this stuff. You're not alone.
>>
>>16589902

i think its more on the extreme side. usually men prefer to be dom, and females can get into that cuz they are submissive by nature. many women might be turned off by a man who is not more agressive in bed.

that being said there are plenty of women who LOVE being dom anyways, so its not like you're fucked (figuratively speaking, you will be literally, but you like that so its okay).

but yeah, its a kink but if you are capable of normal sex on top of that you'll do okay in life anon.

i have a fetish for older men forcing me to lick their balls while roleplaying that im their son they are raping. i do this twice a week about but otherwise live a normal life.
>>
>>16589902
Not extreme at all. Especially because you like the submissive role. Someone might misunderstand if you had an intense sadistic kink. Say, blood play. I dont really like blood play but it's not unheard of.

Other common extremes would be a scat fetish or something.

Consensual non consent aka rape play is super duper common. And pegging isn't weird. Just different, since a lot of guys are insecure about anything in their ass.

I'd love to peg a guy someday. Especially with those cool dildoes that have a back end that goes inside of me. Some have vibrators! Pegging looks like so much fun.
>>
Funny enough, although I'm pretty sure submissive is my nature, with my GF I discovered I like vanilla as well as being a dom way more than I thought I would.

Anyway, thank you for your support ppl. Means the world to me.
>>
>>16589868

>BDSM tickles my fancy
>Long-term depression, anxiety, eating disorders
>Panic attacks
>Came out to my parents

What the fuck, man? Why does this have to be such a big deal? Why do your parents even need to know what you do in the bedroom? Why do you think they'd care, or want to hear that?

Everyone's got kinks. Yours is pretty mainstream and common. It's just sex, man. It's supposed to be fun. This is like having panic attacks because you're worried someone might not like the same TV shows as you do.

At the end of the day, NOBODY CARES what you do in your bedroom, and you'll find that most of your partners are more open-minded than you'd think about fetishes and kinks. Nobody with an Internet connection would be shocked by BDSM.
>>
>>16589868
Idk what's wrong with you dude, I always loved the idea of being deviant with nobody knowing a thing about it.

But to help, the simple fact is that the era of having BDSM fetishes being a potentially life-ruining secret is coming to an end, except perhaps in ultra-conservative areas. There is nothing dirty, dangerous, or deviant about it anymore, as everyone is:
>hurr so tolerant
>durr ur so braev
>wow so unique
>respect and accept everyone and everything derp

And I fucking hate it. I want to be a deviant, practicing sex acts in secret that could be dangerous to my career and social life, but i can't. It takes some of the intensity and enjoyment out of it for me. Fuck this liberal era.

The amount of people who will look down on you is so small, especially amongst the younger generations, that you really have nothing to worry about. Fucking tolerant pieces of shit.
>>
>>16589972
There's still plenty of fetishes that people would be wigged out by.

Get into ABDL, scat, inflationism, necrophilia, vomiting, blood, etc
The ABDL especially gets huge disdain for some reason. So whip out those diapers, get people avoiding you.
>>
>>16589902
I wish you were cute and kidnapable. :)
>>
>>16589996
No, I wish that the things I'm actually attracted to are still viewed with contempt.
>>
>>16590002
Oh you want to be trash talked too? You better have a fetlife profile.
>>
>>16589868
>Mom, dad, I've got something to tell you. I... I likes it freaky, real freaky.
What the fuck are you talking about you mongoloid, what the fuck does it have to do with them? Do you want them to join in or something?
>>
>>16590168
No, I don't want them to join, I want you to not weigh in unless you've got something useful to say. Maybe try picture parents who see their son suffer from anxiety & depression for 10 fucking years, maybe telling them why all that happened isn't such a "mongoloid" idea, whatever that means. Besides, like I said, I didn't go into any detail.
>>
>>16590257
You are sick.
>>
>>16590303
You have zero idea what you're talking about.
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