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We only get one life and so many people are afraid to live it

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Thread replies: 35
Thread images: 5

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We only get one life and so many people are afraid to live it for reasons like "what will other people think?" Or "I'm this way because x"

This shit makes me so sad. Every time I come to /adv/ there's more people who are making themselves miserable because they're letting other people's actions control their behavior or because they've convinced themselves they know what other people will think. So what? Why do we care?

I challenge every single one of you to give me one good reason why you're not happy right now, or why you're not pursuing your ambitions, that doesn't have to do with blaming somebody else.

Pic not related
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>>16586386

Write a self-help book.

They also tend to push the idea that if you try hard and take accountability for your problems, everything will suddenly magically go well.

Fact is, a lot of people try in life only to get to upper middle class midlife crisis land.
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tell me how to get peace

no matter how much ambitions you have conquered or how succesful you are, if you don't have peace you will suffer like everyone else

people who have it all also suffers
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Some people are trying to steer a stationary car, and others are putting the pedal to the floor while the nose is stuck in a ditch.
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>>16586398

Do you even know what you are trying to say yourself? Like, did what you said seem to have some sort of point to you?

"Peace" is just a lack of meaningless strife. In other words, you are at peace when you stop being an edgy dumbass.

And guess when it's easier to not be an edgy dumbass? When you are comfortable and understand life.
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I'm scared.
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Nothing makes me happy and I've no ambitions.
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>>16586410

In 99% of cases that's because you haven't experienced anything real in life. Never been with a 10/10, never started a business, never knocked someone the fuck out in a tournament with thousands of people watching, never got some engineering concept right, etc.

This argument comes up all the time on advice "nothing makes me happy." In reality, you just don't know what life has available, and that's truly sad.
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>>16586405
yes, it makes sense to me

it seems that OP's point is that if you face your fears and achieve your ambitions you will have a happier or fullfiling life

the point i'm trying to make is that there are many people who got rich, succesfull and have everything they wanted to achieve, yet they are not fullfiled, there's something missing in their lives that doesn't come from achievements
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>>16586405
Different anon but peace isn't just attained once and you're set. Peace can be achieved infinite times in countless ways and in individual, multiple, or encompassed aspects of life. You don't just eat once. You don't eat the same thing every day and get the same level of satisfaction. I assert that one can also be at peace as an edgy fuck, but that peace is transient.
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>>16586424

You are going to need to be more specific if you want your statement to carry meaning or have a conversation.

Being "fulfilled" has to do with pic related. Obviously OP covered only one aspect of it. This is a known.

>>16586425

I had a conversation with a friend, about when philosophy is useful. His answer was "When it can be applied to your life in a clear way." I agree with that.

I suppose I don't disagree with you, but with the above quote in mind, I am not sure what the take-away is there.
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I've been thinking alot about how people stay so unhappy because they don't want people to look down on them, so they don't change the unhappy situation. I'm guilty of it myself. I've had about enough of being miserable though. You're right op.
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>>16586418
>Never been with a 10/10, never started a business, never knocked someone the fuck out in a tournament with thousands of people watching, never got some engineering concept right, etc.

You're implying that these things are equal access to all. They aren't. Also, you're implying that all these things would make someone happy. Not guaranteed.

If you believe that you can make anything of your life if you want it, that's a lot of birthday card shite, feel good speech for the sake of feel good. Reality is something different.
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>>16586424
Like so many others, you equate success with money. People can be rich without gold. They just need to be honest about what makes them happy. Ambitions aren't one size fits all.

>>16586429
If you want things in your life to change all you need to do is to start changing things in your life. All the best, anon.
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>>16586428
The fullfilment i'm saying basically means "i'm ok with my life right now and I don't need anything else".

This picture reflects the general people's view of fullfilment, but one doesn't have to necessarily have all those things to be fullfiled.
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>>16586437

All I said is that if you don't have access to those things, of course nothing in life will seem appealing. I said nothing about ease of access.

>>16586439

>Like so many others, you equate success with money. People can be rich without gold. They just need to be honest about what makes them happy. Ambitions aren't one size fits all.

Yea, except there are concrete studies that prove otherwise. Also, money buys health at the very least, and (you will argue because you are a fag) it buys free time not spent doing bitch maintenance.

>If you want things in your life to change all you need to do is to start changing things in your life. All the best, anon.

Word? I thought they just change on their own.
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>>16586439
i just included success along with money because those are two things that people generally want
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>>16586445

Sure, you could become a Buddhist or find God. That tends to be even more transient though. And I would argue that lying to yourself isn't the best way to go about life.
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>>16586452
Become a buddhist or believing in god can be helpful. But "lying" to yourself are not the only ways of becoming fullfiled while living a basic life.
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>>16586458

I don't even know what you are saying. What are we supposed to get out of this thread. I am not even trolling, I am genuinely curious.

"Success and money" are not the only ways to fulfillment are horribly vague.

Yes, a person can be temporarily fulfilled if they are with a women they love. Or if they are working on something they love.

Is that the point here? If so, I assert that the sky is blue, from a human's point of view, but not OP's, because he's got a dick to chew.
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>>16586386

>Well because this society favors women over men and it creates male disposability. Men are exploited by making them die in war, taxing them for programs that mostly only benefit women,society is not concern with the dropping college participation rates in males or the fact that the majority of males are homeless,women have more marriage protection laws then men, society is not alarm by the higher suicide rate in males, men have less birth control options. males have no reproductive rights,men are seen as potential rapist and pedophiles,companies are not allowed to have all males works but schools are allowed to have all female works and the list goes on.


This society is very hostile against men and I don't see a reason to be part of it.
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Because I'm a Christian and every time I try to turn Atheist I get a sort of message or sign that I take comes from God because they are huge coincidences. But living life to the max for me would risk going to hell.
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Some of us can't afford to pursue our ambitions or are pursuing them but haven't reached them yet and that's why we aren't happy right now.
Also, in case it's not terribly obvious, some ambitions require you to actually care what other people think. For example, getting a job to make money. Or becoming president and getting people to think you are cool enough to be voted for.
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>>16586446
Studied aren't the be all end all. I can flaunt studies corroborating that health is directly correlated to happiness just as easily.
Anyway, my intention isn't to argue but to broaden a limited spectrum.
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>>16586619

>Studied aren't the be all end all. I can flaunt studies corroborating that health is directly correlated to happiness just as easily.

Yea, health is directly correlated with happiness, just like money. And?

>Anyway, my intention isn't to argue but to broaden a limited spectrum.

Then label the thread "To all the retards who think money is the ONE and ONLY key to happiness, IRREGARDLESS OF ALL OTHER FACTORS."
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>>16586539
I've noticed that generally people who have taken a step in the direction of their dreams are generally happy, even when experiencing setbacks. Even drawing up a plan is a step towards realizing a goal.
Its alright to care about what people think as long as you're not allowing that to hold you back.

>>16586628
Point taken. The intention in that instance -wasn't- to argue but to broaden a limited spectrum
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>>16586386
I'm afraid to get close to people. I've had other issues, but usually there's this turning point where I decide to take a different path. To some it looks like an impulsive decision, but it always has a lot of planning behind it, though I'm not consciously aware of it.
I believe those moments are when you make your best decisions. When you're not rationalizing everything and weighing out the pros and cons, but when you know what to do.
It's not as if it's the only option available, but you know from the bottom of your heart that this is what you have to do.
Right now I'm waiting for that moment, this breaking point. Without it, I can't fix anything...
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I'm too scared of responsibility and consequences, so I just sit in the comfortable zone of indecision and wait until my life gets better. It does not appear to be effective.
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>>16586428
>sex
>base, physiological need

Well, that might explain why I'm fucked up in the head.
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Just posted this but anyway here is my reason
i am a female, , i have been sober for 6 months (mostly pills, weed cocaine). I haven't spoken to my ex boyfriend in a few weeks but we had sex in the back of his car. He was really mean to me and offend hit me if i got anger at him about thing and he had been going out with girl "friends" and leaving me home with his mother. I got really under weigh about 46 kg then was committed to hospital and that was the end of drugs. Just before hospital i got really fucked up ( me and him were on one of our regular week long break ups) I spelt with a guy who gave me free drugs then cried for hours - he stopped after a few minutes as i was crying. Then hospital with a kidney problem and bad withdrawl from the last 6 months. be 6 months later my old friends are all junkies and my ex boyfriend (has money from his dad) is living the life with whatever he wants (house women car). I am living with my mum sleeping on a mattress on the floor. I am studying a science degree but i am so fuckin retarded i don't know how i'll ever make friend or get anywhere. I need to talk to someone i am so ridicuously loney. My mum spends all her time with her boyfriend(who is my ex boyfriends before the lasts dad) and my sister has her own serious problems at the moment. I keep writing list of things to follow everyday but i feel heavy with my emotions and i never do it.

I am doing a lot better i want to try but i feel worthless and it's extremely hard to push through. But i'm alive some days i think thats enough
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Just too shy.
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>>16586386
>why haven't I been happy since never

speech disorder, looks, but I'm fixing it all, I am, in a year I will finally get that confidence in myself, this is the time of self-development, either I do it while I'm still a young adult, or I die hopeless
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>>16587157
Honey, my heart goes out to you. You are so strong for going through all of that and still trying. Even just managing to stay alive shows amazing strength. You've made it so far and overcome so much. I'd be proud to call you a friend.
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I probably already did the one thing that probably will give me most of the joy I will ever have (injecting heroin), I'm not sure if I'd bother with anything else apart from surviving on my own way. And no, I'm not addicted, and I probably won't be again - doing drugs now bothers me just as much as not doing them, so I chose to pick the best option inbetween.

I have no ambitions at all, life has been punching me since birth and I'm not so sure if I can punch back, at least not with the same strength. I just pursue some things which will give me a nice settis in the future.

I think the problem with most of the people in this board is that they care too much. Life is fluid, stop bothering about the past or future. Now is what you get, and once you're dead, no more.
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>>16587332
That's horrible advice. In trepid waters, you won't survive if you don't at least flail your arms.
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