Live the normal life

>>16576341
How long have you been together?

>>16576350
bit more than one year. my longest relationship to date by far

>>16576366
Hmm, I think that's a little early to be moving in together, but I know that there are couples who move in together sooner and make it work. Are you aware that if you say no, this will probably be the end of the relationship? She sees this as a step forward in your relationship, and to HER, not moving in together will be stagnating

There's nothing abnormal with having a life that's incompatible with a firmly established lifestyle. What is incompatible, however, is how you stipulate the continuation of this relationship. It shouldn't even be a question once she voiced desires incompatible with your own life plan. Are you seriously second guessing what makes you happy just because some pretty young thing told you what she wants? Borrow a page from her book and tell her what you want with equal conviction.

>>16576381
Yup, now that moving in is on the table, not doing it will kill the whole thing. It's basically going with it or breaking up. Either choice I could really regret

Stagnant how, what do you do? I mean it wont stop you from flying to anywhere in the world together, doing almost any activity, going any club or event, taking your career somewhere or doing any hobby etc.

So... coke and hookers?

>>16576395
Okay, well look it it this way. You say no, the relationship ends. You say yes, you live with her. What's so bad about that really?

>>16576396
well, once you're fully settled, you lose an awful lot of flexibility. I would really like to move to an Asian country for a while. Would be tricky in that scenario. Also don't like the thought of never sleeping with another woman again and I'm not a fan of cheating.
Anyway, that's what I mean by stagnating.

>>16576386
guess I' just getting old and desperate. I'm seeing a shot at a "normal" life and I'm not sure when or if I will get another one. Don't feel ready for it but are you ever? Don't want to regret throwing this away but I don't want to have the regret of throwing away my freedom either I guess

>>16576425
You said her "damn couple friends" and I guess she wouldn't do a few years in Asia with you, are you sure you don't find her personality annoying?
It just reminds me of an American exchange student and his girlfriends fake friends, you could see in his eyes how much he hated her.

>>16576435
>when or if I will get another one
Literally until the day you're too old and feeble to get out and meet people.

>but are you ever?
Sure. It just varies from person to person.

>Don't want to regret
Which is why I'm telling you to talk to her with as much confidence as she had when approaching you. Why are you the only one having this internal debate about regret? Why can't she accommodate? Is your girlfriend made of stone?

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>>16576439
damn couple friends was more of a generalisation of how I see my life once you're fully merged into this sort of abomination of the perfect couple. You keep inviting your befriended other couples over to show off your flat and your perfect relationship. Obviously all fake. I'm terrified of becoming that. Doesn't have to happen with her. But looking at every single couple I know that moved in together, it looks like it most certainly will

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>>16576453
she's well aware of my seconds thoughts regarding to move in together. she's also aware about my life plans and that I bloody well hate those typical couples who celebrate their entire relationship on Facebook and pretend to be fucking perfect. I'm not holding any of this back from her.
But I'm not sure if she's aware that when I pull out, the relationship most likely ends. I genuinely believe that I'm not ready for this yet. But I fear I might regret throwing away something that might have been something good.

>>16576458
>not being proud of your accomplishments and successful lifestyle, or wanting to show it to others

You're fucked up, son.

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>>16576488
showing off your IKEA flat and how well you prepare M&S readymeals is not an achievement.
The only achievement I want to have and proudly show is that I am living my life free and without regrets. I'm an oldfag and most of my friends are living the couple life. I pity every single one of them.

>>16576497
You sound really up your own ass. You "pity" them? Who are you to do that? They're most likely extremely happy that they found someone they can love and build a life with. If anyone should be pitying anyone, it's everyone else pitying you for entertaining the idea of losing a good partner because you're hung up on some 20 year old "muh freedom" fears. Christ, if you're going to claim to be an oldfag (lol 30 is old), at least act like you have maturity of one.

>>16576484
"She is aware" is not "I've approached her with this life plan." I don't understand how you can see what you've communicated as being equal in significance to what she has. And then you wonder why she's not aware of the consequences? I'm afraid of how dumbed down an analogy I need to make here to illustrate how off-base you are. Tell me if you need me to illustrate this in 3 year old terms. You really, really need to get this.

I'm not accusing you of having held back your life preferences. I'm telling you to make a life INSISTENCE. Grow a pair and tell her what your plan is. Not what you want, not what you want it to be, what it IS. Then let her work with you.

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>>16576506
fair point.
I wouldn't say it's immature to fear for your independence when making such a step though, seems more rational to me desu.
I've always treasured my flexibility, lived in 3 different countries for more than a year each and don't really want this stop. I never want to stop exploring and experiencing. Is this really so immature?
Most of my friends told me that they are very jealous of how I lived my life so far and said they couldn't do it because they where always put their committed relationships first. And half of these relationships are now other due to various reasons. This is why I pity them. I don't want to have this regret.
Other friends tell me that I will die alone if I keep living like this. That thought doesn't really bother me too much though. But it might in the future when I might regret giving a normal live a chance.

>>16576527
The fact you even have those feelings in such an intense way is proof positive you need to let this poor woman go. She clearly loves you more than you love her. She's willing to take the leap and you're so far from willing, it's not even funny. It's actually insulting to everyone in a committed relationship that you would even dare claim you care about yours. She deserves someone who is ont he same page as she is, and has no reservations about where she and the relationship fit into their life. You need to be single. for a long time. Go have your fun traveling. No one cares or thinks that's wrong. But don't you dare drag poor souls into your mess of a head. Go be single and learn on your own what you want when you're 45, 50, or whenever it is you finally get your shit straight.

>>16576458
> You keep inviting your befriended other couples over to show off your flat and your perfect relationship. Obviously all fake.

You're setting out to copy the 2% of people that nobody likes. That's isn't a level of wealth, it's just a certain type of person.

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>>16576515
my 'life plan' wouldn't see her in it. My perfect life plan would be to keep moving and working in different places of the earth, experiencing different cultures, sleeping with different people and keep exploring new things. And I want to do this until I feel that I haven't missed out. And I don't feel like I have. I don't see how I can fit her into this life.

I'm not ready to settle and I'm afraid I might never be. I'm also afraid that if keep avoiding to settle and running away from good relationships, I might eventually end up very alone and desperate

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>>16576535
Jesus mate. I'm having seconds thoughts moving in with my gf, you make it sound like I've been fooling her for decades.
I do very much care about her, it is the first time ever that I am even considering giving up my lifestyle for someone. I just don't want to regret it, that's all. I've told her exactly that. Can't see anything wrong with it. Judge me if you want.

Situations can't stagnate you. Only you or your partner will cause it. If you both lead interesting lives separately then you'll probably lead an interesting life together.

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>>16576620
that's a very encouraging thought. thank you.

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thanks for time /adv/
it's been helpful
signing off

I say it's just an idea. You can always say something like not right now, or maybe later. Keep in mind, this isn't necessarily the end of your 'normal life.'
What things will you not be able to do once you've made that transition? It's not like you guy s are getting married, just moving in together. I think she see's you as hubby material if she brought that topic up

Are you happy with your current life, or are you comfortable with it? These are not the same thing.

>>16576425
>>16576395
>>16576341
>>16576527
You sound exactly like my boyfriend.
He's lived all around the world basically, and I met him a year ago when he moved back to Toronto.
You're 30, he's 25 so I understand more for him as to why he's scared to commit but you?
You're 30 bruh. You're kinda old but not that old. And at that age are you seriously still trying to fulfill that freedom fantasy bullshit? Grow up. Being with this girl isn't going to stop you from doing anything you want other than fucking other people. And who knows, maybe later on you'll turn into swingers because it's actually pretty common. Commitment and going with the flow isn't as hard as you think, you're just a dumb scared baby who needs to grow a pair. It's really not like you're getting married or anything.

The thing that fixed my relationship was space. He realized after a month how much I meant, and you probably will too

>>16576597
You just basically confirmed that Anon was right
>You don't love her
>I care for her very much
Yeah, you don't love her. Sorry. Let her go. You're going to fuck the relationship up no matter what. Go do your travels, have your adventures and get the breaking of her heart overwith.