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I need help. My son, 11, has no interest in reading. Or anything.

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I need help. My son, 11, has no interest in reading. Or anything. The problem is he acts like he does, and doesn't actually read anything, which really really worries me about his general motivation levels.. He wants to read for some kind of association with it, but won't commit in any way. He reads sometimes when he's with my parents, they get him shit like the diary of a wimpy kid books and he flips through them, but when I try to get him the simplest of age appropriate non-comedy books he will occasionally act like he's reading them but never actually does.

This is a fairly recent development. I've segmented his time at home fairly well through his life. Not too much tv, etc. He was a slow bloomer for sure in terms of reading - didn't really start until he was 6 or so - but as he's moved into being ready for proper books he has lost the will to continue. He's a good reader, so that isn't the problem. He just has zero motivation, and his inability to read a chapter book is a manifestation of this.

All he wants to do is watch TV and play video games. I used to give him a limit of 1-2 hours a day for this, and ask him to go outside and play or read a book or whatever for the rest of his free time. Around the time he turned 10 he stopped playing outside, stopped reading, everything. He just sits if I don't let him do something mindless. He has passing interest in things - we built a bird house last week(his idea), which he was really really excited to start, but literally within ten minutes had entirely quit caring about.

He is a genuinely smart kid. I'm not just saying this as a proud parent - on a base level he is thoroughly above his peers in maturity and most skills. He just has zero motivation. None. And it's not an energy thing either, he's got a ton.

I know 4chan is an odd place to ask about parenting, but I have no account anywhere else and no idea where to go. I'm welcoming to anything. Personal experiences, direct advice, whatever.
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>>16544300
>He was a slow bloomer for sure in terms of reading - didn't really start until he was 6 or so
uhhh
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Audio books to keep him interested.

>While you try to figure out his real problem.
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>>16544304
Most kids begin reading around four to five given thorough education/experience/exposure, and really develop around seven. He was a year or two behind. For reference my other child, a four year old girl, reads as well as he did when he was six.

I don't think this is relevant now as he is still in the normal range for his age, if not better.
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>>16544300
Find something he enjoys reading about. He's probably bored.
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If he's not into reading, you can't force him to be.

Explore hobbies with him. He's at an age when most kids just want to play video games, that's pretty normal.
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>>16544312
This sounds like a totally reasonable way to fill his time that isn't just tv to rot his brain, but I'm far more concerned with actually trying to relate to him and figure this out. When I talk to him he just says "I read" or "I'm reading x book right now, dad!"

The problem is the books never move off of the table he sits them on after he gets them, and then a few weeks later they're supposedly read while he can't talk about them. He isn't reading, but he's acting like he is. I don't get it. If he had an interest other than cartoons I'd totally drop the book stuff and help him with whatever his mind was working with, but he just doesn't want to use his brain at all ever. It's scary.
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And why not getting him into an art class or teach him how to play an instrument or even a new sport? Most of kids at that age just want videogames or tv and well we cant deny them, maybe books aren't the answer, for now.
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>>16544300
> high energy kid
> Loves comedy

Stop sending him boring crap. Period. If he's not interested in it, he won't read it. He's faking the reading to appease you because he doesn't like the story.

He's an energetic guy who loves to laugh so give him funny, energetic stories. I recommend Douglas Adam's Hitchiker's Guide series, The Discworld novels, and other "higher level" comedy to get him reading bigger, deeper books. Both series, besides being funny, also tackle some of life's questions through humor and introspection. Discworld is especially good at this.

He might also like some of the sillier Goosebumps stories or any kind of Choose your own adventure books (it's a thing, look it up!).
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>>16544320
Second half of this post essentially answers
>>16544315
>>16544317
He doesn't want to read about anything. He talks about Russia all the time so I've given him books about Russia, I've given him free choice over books, we've tried a thousand things at this point. He just acts like he reads them all. He pursues a lot of it. I'm not trying to force this down his throat. I just ask him not to play video games or watch cartoons for ten hours a day, and leave the rest to him.
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What does his teacher say?
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>>16544300
I'm going to get shit thrown at me because of this, but PURGE THE FUCKING VIDEO GAMES HOLY SHIT.
They took my motivation at that age, it was easier to dip into the virtual fiction than do anything irl.
Your son sounds a lot like me when I was that age. And by the way, do you tell him he's smart? If you do, fucking don't, it'll get him lazy and put no effort into anything. I hate my parents for letting me ruin my early life on vidya, I had to pick up every hobby of mine, studying etc. later in life and it pisses me majorly off.
Video games are literally Satan. Fuck those things.
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>>16544300
the hobbit+lord of the rings, try to get him to read it
teach him music
allow him to fuck up now so he wont do it in his 20's
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>>16544323
He hates guitar for a similar reason to why he hates doing seemingly everything. He asked to start, so I bought him a guitar the next day and took him to a local place to pick a teacher. He refused to practice and begged every day to quit until I let him. I made him stick it out for a year hoping he would come around once he got over the boring stuff like learning notes, but he just didn't.

He hates sports.

Again, I can't let him play video games and watch cartoons/youtube for ten hours a day. As a parent I can't do that to him. I'm sure he will regret it.

>>16544324
Thanks for the recommendations. I'll of course try these. Again, he's picked 95% of the books he has "read" in the last couple of years. I occasionally make suggestions hoping to spark something is all.
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>>16544331
He's 11, he's probably not going to explore new hobbies on his own because he is a child.

I don't mean buy him books and leave him alone, I mean figure out a metalwork project to do with him, buy an rc car and do electronics with it, buy magic cards and play with him, play a sport, engage him with something that you do together, so that it's a bonding thing as well as exploring new hobbies.

He's not going to suddenly become inspired to do something new.
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>>16544351
11 years old is exactly the time to pick up new hobbies and interests. You should have something alongside your school and free time. Oh wait, I forgot this board is filled with morons who think playing video games for 10 hours a day is completely normal. What a sad world.
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>>16544334
His teacher says he is a really really intelligent kid who will never, ever, under any conditions do any work that is unnecessary. He's lazy there too.
>>16544335
This is what I'm worried about. I want him to be able to play video games and relate to other kids his age, but I'm trying to find ways to entertain him otherwise because at this point his two modes are "I'm currently free to play video games so I'm going to talk about them and play them" or "I'm not allowed to play video games so I have no motivation to do anything".
>>16544351
I've tried this if you read. Again, we build stuff together occasionally(I'm a wood worker for a living), he wanted to learn guitar so I let him. He won't do anything ever for more than ten minutes unless it's related to his pets or his video games.
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>>16544363
Are you fucking illiterate?

He's a kid, he's going to be stubborn and play video games. It is totally time for him to explore hobbies, so fucking explore them with him you incompetent piece of shit, jesus christ.
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>>16544349
If it helps, you can usually find all of the books suggested at your local library. It's a great way to see what he thinks of them without having to pay. The Hitchiker's Guide can be read in ANY order, by the way. They're not really a series so much as silly happenings with one unlucky crew on a space ship. I also liked Red Dwarf, but it's a lot drier humor-wise so he might not appreciate it (yet).

Pick up a book and if you don't laugh within a few pages, he probably won't want to read it. People typically know if they want to keep reading within 3 pages. It's a human nature thing.

The reaosn I suggested chosoe your own adventure as it's not like normal reading so it's likely to keep his itnerest for longer. It's sort of like a cross between a book and a game which is perfect for a young gamer who really should be reading. They have been around since the 70's so there's hundreds to pick from which can help broaden his horizons on genres and topics.
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>>16544366
That post was not me. I am the OP. Hello.

As stated, I've tried. Hard. He literally can not do anything else for more than five or ten minutes. It's draining for me to continue trying, but I'm open to unique ideas. So far I've essentially done everything mentioned.
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>>16544364
Okay, then vaporize his video games. It's okay if he hates you, you're not his friend.
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You're being an annoying parent.
There are tons of RPG's with a novel's worth of INTERACTIVE STORY. Find those games and get him to play those.
And you know what else the internet has? Ebooks.
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>>16544374
I like the pick your own adventure idea. It certainly can't hurt. Thank you.
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>>16544366
Yeah, sorry about that. It just makes me angry when people are spewing shit and saying it's ok for a young child to spend most of his time sitting inside his room playing Minecraft. Should've double read your post.
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>>16544324
These are good recommendations.

Also, does his school have those book fair things? Or those Scholastic book catalog things where you can order books? If he likes those and he wants to buy books, tell him he has to read a book he's already picked out before he can buy another one.
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>>16544382
>annoying parent
Better that than a shitty parent. And no kid is going to play Pillars of Eternity or read Ebooks when he has the newest shooter or Minecraft installed on his PC.
Not OP by the way.
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>>16544382
In his own words "I hate rpgs. they're boring."

I've even tried to get him into smarter video games. I'm not worried even so much about him playing video games too much, I'm worried about him sitting back and watching a video game fly by. It's not so much about the story, but about whether he is actively engaged and challenged by the game. He doesn't even like playing games with a challenge. He would rather watch someone on youtube play a game if it isn't an autopilot type game, something I've tried to convince him not to do, but I can't bring myself to control him so much that I don't let him use youtube.


I got him some more mentally challenging games like some platformers. He said he liked them and talked about them a bunch, but never actually played them.

The closest thing to an RPG he's played this year is that new Fallout game.
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>>16544377
I'm glad.

I don't know specifically what to suggest because I don't know your kid. My sister had a similar issue with my nephew, I started waxing poetic about welding and now he wants to do metal work like his uncle. Maybe he needs an influence that's not his dad, maybe just nothing has clicked yet. I understand your frustration.

If he's creative suggest playing a tabletop with him. If you really want him to read, buy him some literary comics that have some value and will hold his attention with their art.
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>>16544405
Detecting a pattern here; he is unable to concentrate.
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You should tell him "you can get this new video game after you read this book" and then that's it.
Use simple motivation and of course a book that he has picked out himself so long as it's at his level for his age. When he finishes the book, he gets the game.
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>>16544300
He's 11

There's your answer OP
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>>16544401
Yes,

I've tried to make deals with him to read books. I offered to give him $20 to read a book and tell me about it in detail. He goes to my parents and cuts their grass for $100 a month and buys his own video games. They actually need it and I don't want to force him to earn money my way, so I can't do much about that or what he spends the money on outside of reason.
>>16544404
And yes this is essentially the issue. He doesn't even play shooters any more. He used to play CoD but he has gotten too lazy for even that. He mostly plays like the Telltale games, he's been playing fallout, he plays dayz and some dinosaur thing that looks like dayz. It feels wrong to deprive him of these things but at the same time I feel like he does nothing productive with his mind during his entirely free time. When I try and segment his time into entirely free, then "you need to go outside or read or something." he just sits around or goes up stairs and lets the ferrets out(which is secretly an excuse to watch more TV because there's a TV up there).
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>>16544418
You are acting like OP has newer been the same age. It's not normal for a kid that age to be uninterested in everything but video games.
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>>16544413
Yes, of course. It's just a matter of what in the world to do with a kid like this. He's going to be miserable if I try and limit his time to indulge his laziness even more than it already is.

>>16544414
Read my last post, he does it with his own money and it's hard to take control like that. He doesn't even want new games usually though.He has like $2000 saved up because he buys a game every other month. He doesn't have the motivation to even play most video games so he doesn't really care.
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>>16544420
At this point it just sounds like you have to cut the TV and vidya off. He's probably trying to cry and scream about it, then he will go to his friends place to play. That's what I did anyway. Just make him come home, do his homework with him and maybe read with him when he is going to sleep or something.
You have to be adamant about this and patient.
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>>16544405
I concur- RPGS ARE BORING. The grinding sucks when all I want is a story.

That said, there are story-games with strong narratives that aren't hard, however, most of them are geared at adults. Telltale's Walking Dead is famous for it's deep, scary story, but I think The Wolf Among Us is higher-energy. I'm not sure if he can handle the content, though, so play a demo and see what you think of them.

Look into "Visual Novel" games, too. These are all pretty much autopilot. You pick what the character says and the game shows you what happens. Different choices change the story. Sadly, most of these are geared at teens and up as the content can range from lighthearted fantasy to straight up porn. Japan makes most of these games. Go to 4chan's /V/ to ask about kid-friendly visual novels.
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>>16544335
You do exactly this, OP. I was able to find books that I enjoyed and my dad forced me to read some that I can't thank him enough for. I still played a lot of video games and though they helped me to form lifelong friends, I still regret spending the majority of my free time on them. For my kid, I don't think there will be a TV in the house. Take your son out hiking and do something active. Perhaps airsoft would catch his fancy since its like a video game and is at least active
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>>16544420
>the Telltale games
Those pretty much are books. Try playing one and see what you think.
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>>16544442
What a shitty bait. OP, don't go to /v/, it's a cesspool.
You don't want your kid to play more video games than he already is.
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>>16544442
>Telltale's Walking Dead is famous for it's deep, scary story, but I think The Wolf Among Us is higher-energy. I'm not sure if he can handle the content, though, so play a demo and see what you think of them.
These are like half of what he plays.

>>16544430
To what end, though? At this rate he's willing to spend six hours a day just sitting if he can't play video games or watch anything. What's it going to change if I add another couple of hours to that?
>>16544445
We hike, actually. He acts interested for a while - he loves animals and loves the chance we might see them - but in general he spends the time visibly bored and he says no to going again for a few months until he forgets that he hates it again. My wife and I hike regularly without him and invite him every time.

He used to like airsoft and nerf guns and stuff but he quit that. He has probably thousands of dollars worth of that kind of stuff sitting in his closet.
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>>16544452
Well, then name some good visual novels that aren't laden with sex and might be OK for an 11 year old boy so she doesn't have to go there.

It's the most qualified (hahah) group I could think of. I have just started with visual novels myself and don't know of many ones yet. I am currently working on beating all of Hatoful Boyfriend. The game is clean, but the lead is female so it would be weird to a young boy.
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>>16544455
OP, I get that you are pretty rich from what you have told. Maybe your kid is bored because he never had to actually do anything for the things he has.
Thousands of dollars worth of games, airsoft gear etc.
I wonder how he would react if you would take everything from him.
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>>16544455
>These are like half of what he plays.
Yep, he'll love visual novels and Choose Your Own Adventure books, then. They're pretty much the same thing only with less animation going on.
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>>16544463
There really are none. And why the fuck are you trying to get a kid involved with VN's, those things are like the afternoon soap operas of video games.
Just fuck off man.
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>>16544468
Not really. I'm a hard working guy and we have a nice house because of it. His money comes in the form of $100 a month from my parents to cut their grass, which he has been doing for 3 years. They're too old to do it themselves and I don't want to take that opportunity away from him. As far as I'm concerned it's none of my business.

I get him about $300-500 worth of stuff on his birthday and $1000 or so for Christmas. I rarely get him things directly outside of that, outside of the books mentioned before.
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>>16544405
>He would rather watch someone on youtube play a game
Fuck this generation, it's so common for kids to just watch youtubers do it all for them. They're not even vidya-playing degenerates anymore like we all were, they're not doing shit at all.
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>>16544475
Because he already is playing them under the guise of "Telltale games" and it's a gateway towards deeper thinking and deeper, longer stories that might be helpful in helping him learn.

Visual novels are great at showing cause and effect and making you think on your actions due to their slow pacing. They're also less boring than books due to player feedback with tons of re-readability due to many alternate endings. It's a win-win.
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>>16544482
Definitely let him earn that money from cutting the grass. But you shouldn't let him spend it willy-nilly.
A kid having that much money at that age will see money differently when he is older. Right now he thinks it's easy as fuck to earn and you can spend it however you like.
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>>16544488
>deep stories
>deeper thinking
What the fuck are you on about? And by saying that VN's are "less boring" you are just showing that you are too illiterate to enjoy a good book over some fetishist Japanese bullshit. Go back to >>>/v/.
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Kind of boggled that no one's brought up the idea that he might have ADHD or something similar. Yeah, yeah, I fucking know ADHD is overdiagnosed -- that doesn't mean there aren't some legitimate cases. Or he might have some other type of learning disability or emotional/medical issue that's actually making it hard for him to concentrate on things.

I remember having shit-tons of mental energy at that age. Enough to tear through a novel in one sitting, play an RPG for five hours straight, or pick up a new hobby on a whim. Maybe I was an unusual child ... maybe. To me this level of apathy doesn't sound normal.
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>>16544492
It doesn't seem right to tell him what to do with the money he spends a day a month earning. $100 for a days work is fair. He doesn't have bills yet, but he won't for 10+ years, why control him now? I understand the sentiment but he just does so little with the money in the first place that it seems wrong to deny him the few things a year he decides to buy.
>>16544488
These games are still just clicking through dialogue options and pressing some buttons for the most part. I can't just allow himself to exclusively indulge his intellectual laziness, and everything I've seen about those games indicates that is exactly what they are. They're more comparable to TV than a book, in my opinion.
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>>16544502
> has never played a VN hoping to get an ending.

I have been reading "poorly Made in China" by Paul midler. It's a non-fiction novel about foreign trade from the firsthand accounts of a midd-man working between a cosmetics company and the factories making the goods. It's actually mostly about how china's culture is shifting and how it affects their production methods. Very interesting.
http://www.amazon.com/Poorly-Made-China-Insiders-Production/dp/0470928077
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>>16544506
I've considered this, but firstly my wife doesn't like the idea of having him diagnosed/put on medicine, and secondly he is so against the idea of considering he has a problem that it would be difficult. Again, he fakes reading books and things. He's very self-conscious. I feel like I need to take steps to work on this before I consider professional help. That's what I'm here for - ideas, anecdotes, anything that may help me nudge him in the right direction to confirm that he does have some sort of problem.
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sounds like it might be adhd. for the love of god dont put him on pills. just read into it and learn to parent around it.
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>>16544532
Actually I feel I should elaborate more here -

I don't want to bring up the idea of him having a problem if it's just the stuff he's doing making him this way. I don't want "I have ADD" to be his cop-out for the rest of his life. He has a slightly exploitative personality as displayed by the lying about reading and things like that, and I worry he may fall into playing a victim when he doesn't necessarily need any help outside of finding motivation. I want to try hard to engage him in things, and only resort to trying medications if he ends up falling behind in school or otherwise shows that he actually needs chemical help.
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>>16544521
All I can say is try it. Make it through chapter one of The Walking Dead or The Wolf Among us (start a new game). From there you can make a decision. Most games, visual novels and "telltale" as well as regular games, all are very different when playing it versus when watching others play it. At the very least it shows you what he likes firsthand so you can understand him more.
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>>16544545
this answers this>>16544543


Thanks for your post
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>>16544549
I've done this. Like I said, I think they're a lot like TV in the end. Which is fine, but not as a primary source of entertainment and identity and intellectual stimulation.
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Even though you don't think you're ready to do it yet, I'm also going to say you need to either take him to a psychiatrist or talk to someone about him. It just sounds like there is something wrong with him, outside the normal spectrum. I was a very lazy kid until I was around 13 and watched tons of TV, but I also read, played video games, drew pictures and wrote quite a bit. My hobbies were bookish but I occupied myself. I was also home schooled and had no friends. But no continuing or recurring interests is weird.

Has he tried anything artistic? Drawing, painting, colors? Have you tried the science route... Minerals, astronomy, insects, animal biology?
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>>16544300
I would go get his vision checked, and then stop forcing him to read. He probably gets plenty of reading done via the net these days.
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>>16544300
find a book series that he enjoys
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Give him other activities. I can never thank my mom enough for putting me in boxing, Tae Kwon Do, basketball, chess club, and more despite hating it at the time.

Put him in a handful of activities, ranging from physical to mental.

Regarding reading, try to read a book together with him and reward him if he does well. Sometimes, a connection might help.
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>>16544364
Not a parent, not a psychologist, I don't know shit. But I'm an American so not knowing what I'm talking about doesn't really stop me. Anyhow...
He likes video games a lot. Great. What makes video games? Art? See if he likes drawing with sprites. Programming? Shit, I was into that at 8 years old (and no I'm not a natural programmer I can't do that shit at all anymore) so maybe get him his own Squarespace account. Design? Get him into board games or RPG Maker or a game with custom options. Sound design? Throw a keyboard or Fruity Loops at him. He likes online games? Buy him a game server and encourage his community management (social) skills.

You get what I'm saying. He likes video games, find what he particularly likes in video games and harness that into a "culturally appropriate" hobby. Get him Minecraft and see what sticks to see what really interests him in games. Does he build all the time? If so he might be an artist. Does he talk to other players and try to get mod positions? If so he's a community manager. Does he try to make long and narrative dungeons? He might be a designer. Does he try and break the game and use it at it's full capacity? Maybe a programmer. You get what I mean.
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Hey, ill have you know all i did when i was 11 was play video games all day.
Now im a 20 year old depressed virgin with a 2.7 gpa, who cant study for more then 5 minutes without opening 4chan! Dont fret op.

I do read a lot now though.

Get him eragon(inheritance cycle) GOAT kid books
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I didn't read the whole thread, but I never read anything either at that age. My mum forced me to pick a book to read, and I picked "Only you can save mankind" by Terry Pratchett. And I was totally hooked, I got into reading a big way because of Terry Pratchett.
Bonus: Only you can save mankind is about video games (but might be a bit dated?)

Looks like you've already tried what my mum did, but how about you read to him? Get his sister if you think she would be interested and him into a big bed together with you and read the first chapter of it to them.
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>>16544545

Hey OP,you said he liked the chance of seeing animals during your hikes right?

>>16544705 I think has a good idea.
I wasn't spending so much of my free time on media when I was 11,but I certainly spent time on the PC and had days where I would do nothing but watch animal planet,discovery or cn.

Once a year in the summer I would visit my mother for a week or two,sometimes maybe even a month.She didn't have a PC and my tv hours were limited.
What she did have was a pretty big encyclopedia with all sorts of animals in it.
After a while of not having anything to do,I started reading it and it was pretty entertaining,some days later I decided to start drawing the animals in various places,sometimes I would just copy one out of the book,other times I'd try to create an ocean floor kind of picture.
It was really enjoyable and I can tell you for sure that I would have never done that (And never did,even after coming home) if I had my PC or tv access.

Actually,I had a similar thing in school too,whenever we had boring art classes I would draw the buildings I could see through the classroom windows,or off of old pictures.

I'm sorry I'm unable to explain this better.

Your alternatives before seeking a professional are of course going iron fist and just stripping him of all access with the exception of a few things you think would improve him.It might make you feel bad for him but it might also help him long term.

Someone also mentioned choose your own adventure books or something similar right?
You could try that instead of visual novels,or comic books would work too I guess,I was into Spiderman when I was 11.

Whatever you do,best of luck to you.
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WHEN I WAS 11

MY dad gave me THE HOBBIT

It was kinda the first book I read and I really liked it but I was 11 and i didn't grasp the book even though I'd read it.

I would visit it again at age 13 then 15 and ritualistically until I was ready to read the LOTR series ...

Since then my dads become obsessed with the bible (NOT ME) and I'm always so sad because I liked him more when he was interested in his childhood literature.

:(

I'm 24 now and I feel like my dad was this cool person before he turned to the bible and became this hollowed out cookie cutter christian.
I've spent the last ten years peeling through so many fucking books... I work in a library now.
But the only book my dads read in the last ten years has been the bible...

:'(


I still read the Hobbit because it feels like the only way I can get to know who my dad was before when he was young...
My aunt says he used to read like crazy.

He is miserable now, but won't let go of the church...


OP, I know this wasn't an answer and more of a random tangent.
But maybe give your kid a book that changed your life as a kid.


(& plz dear god not the bible)
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>>16544300
>Gee dad, why do you make me read these dumb boring books when I just want to have fun?
>>
>>16545571
lmao this is probably as close to reality as its gonna get.

I think 11 year old just won't want to read as much when they are 13-14

Worry about him enjoying the last of his kid-hood before becoming and angsty pre-teen, THEN the reading will begin easy lmao.
>>
>>16544300
tldr
>>
>>16544300
>My son, 11, has no interest in reading. Or anything.
>All he wants to do is watch TV and play video games

>he just doesn't want to use his brain at all ever. It's scary.

>He doesn't want to read about anything.

> he hates doing seemingly everything
>He asked to start,
>begged every day to quit until I let him

> really really intelligent kid who will never, ever, under any conditions do any work that is unnecessary

>He won't do anything ever for more than ten minutes unless it's related to his pets or his video games.

> I'm not worried even so much about him playing video games too much, I'm worried about him sitting back and watching a video game fly by
> He would rather watch someone on youtube play a game if it isn't an autopilot type game

>He said he liked them and talked about them a bunch, but never actually played them.
> I feel like he does nothing productive with his mind during his entirely free time


> he's willing to spend six hours a day just sitting if he can't play video games or watch anything
No, he's not.
He WANTS to sit for six hours a day. Being able to passively play/watch is the only thing allowing him to do so. If you take those things away, he will begin to engage in actual activities.
Because THERE ARE NO ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILDREN WHO ARE HAPPY TO SIT AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR SIX HOURS.

> he does have some sort of problem.
It's not a chemical problem. It's an addiction. Your eleven year old child is addicted to switching off his body and being manually stimulated by a (passively played) game or video.


I would side with a lot of people here and suggest you use his passion for games to encourage him toward a productive end. But he doesn't have a passion for action in relation to those games. He has a passion for disengaging, using these forms of media to numb himself to the world. It's basically the only thing he's interested in; you've said so much yourself.

You need to cut the video out. Completely.
>>
>>16545605
This is what I worry OP is going to miss.

Honestly OP your kid sounds a lot like me. I was one of the smarter kids in school, but during middle school to high school I started to hate reading. It wasn't until I got older that I realized I hated it because it qas forced in 2 ways:
1) It was something you should do out of necessity not pleasure. Therefore, you have to read regardless of if you want to or not.
2) I was always pressured to read classic literature. This is fine, but sometimes you want to read something more modern, again, for fun.

Just sit your kid down and see what hobbies he'd like to explore on his own. If he's as smart as you say, you should be able to give him the means and let him experiment without him feeling pressure by you.
>>
>>16544304
>>16544300

OP, you've objectively messed things up. Here's an immediate action list

>Limit gaming by active parenting
>Buy books for the house that you enjoyed
>Ask him every two months if there are any books he's interested in reading and buy them for him
>Buy new bestsellers unprompted
>Go to the library often. Take your kid.


Most important, because this is what I believe is the real problem in your house

>start reading yourself.

If you're not reading every single day when you tell your kids to read, you're like an obese parent telling their obese child that it's time they go on a diet: who the fuck are you to say that?

Children can recognize a hypocrite and will see where your priorities truly lie: making yourself look less bad for having raised an unpatrician child, rather than showing him it's a means to grow and a source of entertainment.

After all, if you're not reading, why should he? The internet seems to be working out just fine for you for entertainment.
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