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ADHD/ADD

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Anyone here living with adult ADHD?

I'm 36 years old and totally desperate. I've been to several therapists over the past 15 years with depression, panic and anxiety problems and my general fucked-upness. No solution has been found however.

It was just recently that I realized I may have been living with adult ADHD. The general symptom is that I am an avid procastrinator with concentration problems: whenever I got to do something I become stressful or over-excited so I can't find the flow of getting shit done and can't finish in time. I always had a hard time studying and almost failed my schools and keep losing motivation in work or in self-development, or in doing whatever I impulsively think up to do.

Also I'm always feeling overwhelmed with life's tasks from minor duties like housework to big issues like career decisions. I'm always fantasising about solutions not planning or executing them. I deter myself from reality by escaping to bing eating, binge drinking or online time-wasting, online porn and masturbation. I think I am somewhat of a sex addict (been fapping since the age of 9). (Really.)

I almost never felt well-balanced or confident in my life. Whenever I did it was something implusive that exhausted me and burned me out quickly.

Now I feel that life passed by me without me really living it: I had always been overwhelmed by my minor or major problems. The best analogy is: I had been watching my friends play in the courtyard happily (later get on with their studies and succeeding in their careers) while I had been struggling to finish (or even start) my homework inside.

Tomorrow I'm seeing a specialist. I really hope ADHD is the answer and it can me medicated and/or my condition improved by therapy. Do you have any experience with these kinds of problems? What can I expect?
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Sup man. You pretty much described me til you got to this part:

>bing eating, binge drinking or online time-wasting, online porn and masturbation. I think I am somewhat of a sex addict (been fapping since the age of 9). (Really.)

Replace all that with playing video games, playing video games, and playing video games, and we're pretty much the same person, save for a small age gap. (I'm 31.)

I've been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD since I was about 9. Later I got slapped with the fun "depression" diagnosis which runs in my family. As a slightly more self-aware adult, I'm pretty sure I've got anxiety issues, but haven't been told so by a professional, so I'll be the first to admit it's little more than an educated guess. I've been in and out of more doctor's offices than I care to remember, and on and off most of the popular antidepressants and various ADD-countering drugs.

Sadly, as I said, most of your description STILL applies to me today. There is no magic cure, as much as we would all want it. The truth is medication and therapy aren't a be-all end-all. They're only a part of the puzzle. You have to maintain a positive attitude and focus hard on being the "you" you want to be.

Without meds it's not always possible, and sounds like shallow advice from people who don't "get" your situation; but on the right meds, a lot of the involuntary and self-defeating thoughts weaken or clear up... but then you still have to put in the work on your end, and that can be the hardest part.

Don't be afraid to switch doctors or ask questions about your treatment. Best of luck to you!

One more aside:
Be forewarned that there are lots of crass, bitter, angsty teens on this site that will offer little to no help. There are also honest, decent people who genuinely try.
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>>16524440

Anon, I am 44 and your situation describes me to a 't'. I just picked up therapy in the last year to try to salvage my relationship with my now fiance. I was doing all of the above AND going to hookers/paying girls to be my sugar babies (basically under the radar hookers). A big part of it was the overwhelming anxiety and need for constant validation. I had really, really fucked up my life. I was dating a fantastic woman and fucking her over heavily by my neurotic activities. I work for an internet company with no supervision so I was fucking over my coworkers and my business partner by not getting things done. I would constantly procrastinate, and still do.

I'm a year into therapy and just looking into meds, mostly for the intrusive/negative thinking but also for cycling/sproadic depression.

Like 16524518 anon said, it's a lot of fucking work. And the recognition of the problem is small comfort, because you have that weighing on you now and there will be a lot of days where you feel as though it's just not worth it.

Stimulants do help. Lots and lots and lots of caffiene will at least get you moving, but you'll build tolerance and you don't want your heart to get out of sorts when you get to that level. I am trying Folate (metafolin) and that seems to flatten out the lows a little, but it does make me a bit irritable, esp. if I'm not consistently taking it. I'm also trying PQQ (Quinone) for energy, once you get past the wicked stomach upset it seems to give a bit of a morning bump. Initially it's a HUGE bump, but that settles down after a while as well.
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>>16524704
Con't
My therapist is getting me to go see a Nurse practitioner (I'm in the states, if that makes any difference to you) as he says they are a bit more on the bleeding edge as far as treatment goes. They seem to tend to take a holistic approach including diet.

Best of luck to you, anon. If anyone wants to chat about similar problems, I'd be happy to post my kik here to talk. It helps to find people who 'get' you. Those who don't get it won't, but don't let that stop you from communicating your problems to those close to you.
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>>16524440
27 year old liberal arts guy reporting in.

It was my SO that actually brought up the fact that I most likely have ADD two years ago. Still took me until a month or two ago till I took up the "Delivered From Distraction" book for me to realise I need to start working on improving my situation.

From what I've read on the matter on the web, however, it seems likely I have both ADD and Sluggish Cognitive Tempo working in tandem, but research on the latter is still ongoing.

My main troubles are bad planning skills, difficulty in staying focused on any one task (especially if it feels boring/unvoluntary), following through with tasks, unwillingness to let others teach me/tell me what to do and being quite particular about certain things (like cleanliness, though oftentimes living like a neckbeard).

As part of my attempt to improve, I am currently trying out a generic version of Strattera, one 40MG pill a day. Once I've gone through the two months' supply I have left, I'll have to decide whether it would make more sense to switch to a stimulant like Ritalin.

Nice to come across people who I can relate to.
>>
>>16524440
I've been diagnosed with ADD recently and had it my whole life too. I'm glad you are going to get professional help tomorrow because I know how hard it is to get things done with ADHD/ADD.

The thing that there's a chance that you might grow out of your hyperactivity, but you can't ever grow out of concentration problems. If you don't seek professional help, ADD will stay with you your whole life. It might help to exercise, get a good night sleep, and eat well; but the only complete relief is to get medication. I've started to take Adderall for a few months now and my life has completely changed for the better. There are different types of medication you can try to see what works best for you but, no matter what, you need to take some to allieviate the symptoms. Really, there's no better way (yet) to fix your concentration problem. Good luck, OP!
>>
OP, my boyfriend has pretty severe ADHD, which he takes medication for. It's obvious when he doesn't take it (very hyper, nearly impossible to hold an extended conversation, much hornier, etc). If he's been off of it for a while he can have a hard time with mood swings and such. He's happy with his medication however, you just have to be honest with your doctor about how it makes you feel so you can make sure to get the right dose and such.
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>>16524518
>Replace all that with playing video games,

Haha, been there... in my younger years. Now that I'm a "serious guy" I don't waste a lof of time on video games but at the uni Civ3, StarCraft and HOMM3 took a few semesters...

Thu I'm not hoping for a magic cure I home something will help now that I'm closer to the roots of my problem...

I'm aware of most of the Anons but my experience with /adv/ has been better so far.

Thanks!
>>
>>16524722
I'm not in the states so it's a different story here.

What is really weird for me is that I've been to more than 10 different therapists in the recent 15 years with depression, anxiety and panic issues and none of them pointed out it may be ADHD... so I'm really curious now.

I've been to traditional behaviour therapy, hypno-coaching, autogenous therapy, symbol therapy (not sure if it's called that), psychodrama, took meds, took stress releief coaching classes...

They helped to evaluate myself better, know myself better and relieve the problems for a while but didn't solve anyhing.

I'll look out for my caffeine intake then. I had blood pressure issues but I couldn't directly relate them.

My greatest issue is how to get out of bed in the morning, do away with stress and get to work in time... Once I'm there I could/can manage somehow, mostly... stressing myself over... but getting there...
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>>16524832
Thanks!

I'm really looking forward to medication now...
>>
>>16524792
>My main troubles are bad planning skills, difficulty in staying focused on any one task (especially if it feels boring/unvoluntary), following through with tasks, unwillingness to let others teach me/tell me what to do and being quite particular about certain things (like cleanliness, though oftentimes living like a neckbeard).
Haha. Yeah this is familiar.

The situation is worsened by the fact that I have a lot of compulsive motifs to keep stuff in order and I'm somewhat of a control-freak (or tend to be). This conflicts my general condition largely... and keeps me stressed like hell. I always want to keep stuff in order but feel like the whole thing is constantly falling apart.

Also for the past few months I've been working as a project manager... so far I managed. But just had my first breakdown... :/ Tough.
>>
>>16524792
>bad planning skills, difficulty in staying focused on any one task (especially if it feels boring/unvoluntary), following through with tasks, unwillingness to let others teach me/tell me what to do and being quite particular about certain things

Realte to all this uncomfortably well.

I have a REALLY hard time maintaining focus and dedication to jobs, especially over long periods. It's lead to some pretty dark times where I've been down on myself for thinking it meant there was no way in hell I'd ever be able to pin down a career, especially one that could provide for self-sufficience.

I've found myself thinking "I am unemployable" more than I care to remember, even while I'm employed. I feel like it's always only a matter of time til I fuck up bad enough to get fired, or get fed up to the point of quitting.
>>
>>16524440
woaahhh anon

I've never been diagnosed with anything, because I never saw anyone. I also procrastinate by worrying the crap out of myself when it comes time for studies. I day dream of good futures that may/may not happen depending on what I do at the moment, but when the moment comes where I have to do something, I don't. I can't control myself. I also escape into internet. I like stimulants and music. Currently struggling to pass this semester.

However, I never lost confidence in myself. I do love myself and I never really binged on much on anything. Life's too much fun with the nice people I met, the hobbies I do, music, etc., but I'm afraid that will come to a close if everything doesn't work out for me.

What I need is self control.
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>>16524440
>Anyone here living with adult ADHD?
Me, my life is a living hell because of it.
Older than 28.
>>
>>16526403
Continuing:
literally I'm always procrastinating until the end, just can't do something until there's the minimum amount of time required left to do that thing. It's a living hell on earth. Right now I have to do something, but I just can't. I spend time watching YouTube and I'll do it until my electricity shuts off. Music too. Like some others in this topic.
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>>16524792
Am this guy.

To anyone here that would be willing to give it a read, I'd recommend the "Delivered From Distraction" book - it's the most spot-on piece of text on (coping with) adult ADD I've found so far.

Some excerpts:

"Having ADD is also like listening to a ball game on a radio station that's coming in with a lot of static. The harder you strain to hear what's going on, the more frustrated you get. Once in a while a static-free interval blesses the airwaves, and you can hear the ball game clear as a bell. A cat may meow in the background, but you know it is just a cat, not more static, and the clear signal from the radio allows you to focus on the game. How good this feels! But then, like an unresolved feud, the static returns, and you become more than frustrated. You get mad. You want to break the radio, or kick the cat, or scream at whatever human makes the terrible mistake of inquiring right then as to how you might be feeling."

"Plus, your brain is spilling over all the time. You're drumming your fingers, tapping your feet, humming a song, whistling, looking here, looking there, scratching, stretching, doodling, which leads other people to think you're not paying attention or you're not interested, but you're spilling over so that you can pay attention. I can pay a lot better attention to something when I'm taking a walk or listening to music or even when I'm in a crowded, noisy room than when I'm sitting still and surrounded by silence. God save me from the reading rooms in libraries. These are peaceful heavens for most people, but for me they are torture chambers."

(cont)
>>
>>16527276
(cont)

"In the world of ADD, there are only two times: there is now and then there is not now. So, if a supervisor says to a person with ADD that a presentation must be ready for a major meeting in three months, the person with ADD thinks to herself, not now. She forgets about it until three months from now becomes now. Then it is too late. "If only you could get your act together," her exasperated supervisor laments. "You're the most talented person in this company, but until you shape up you're never going to make a difference here or anywhere else.""

As someone not from North America, I am still in the process of figuring out whether I can get any decent therapy/counselling for it where I live, but the book does mention certain exercises and such that could be done by yourself. Meds can also be a tremendous step forward, if everything else you've tried so far hasn't really helped at all.

Sorry if I come off as shilling for a product, just thought it might be good to recommend something I found helpful.
>>
This thread brings a deeper truth about myself to light...
I've lost focus.

I've wracked my brain and stretched myself beyond my means to figure out what's "wrong" with me. I've told myself for decades that it couldn't JUST be ADD. But reading this thread, hearing from other anons describing their symptoms and faults, and feeling nearly any of these posts could be about ME, I'm reminded of what I knew all along.
I have ADD...
and I've lost focus.

Hell. The two go together so well, it's mind blowingly simple.

Even the writing style here is the same amongst most of us. We all just blurt out these long multi-paragraph posts. I'll bet, like me, you guys are thinking of something you want to contribute, then as you're typing, the thought just bursts and expands in every other direction and you think "that should go in there too... and that... and this..." and before you know it your post is practically a novel.

Another thing that caught my interest was the mention of Sluggish Cognitive Tempo. Never heard of it til right now, but the name alone sounds instantly relatable. I will certainly be researching it.
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>>16524440
meditate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nTzx5V6oFU
try it , i fucking dare you , ha
>>
>>16527644
>Even the writing style here is the same amongst most of us. We all just blurt out these long multi-paragraph posts. I'll bet, like me, you guys are thinking of something you want to contribute, then as you're typing, the thought just bursts and expands in every other direction and you think "that should go in there too... and that... and this..." and before you know it your post is practically a novel.
Or thinking of posting something and then getting distracted and not posting.
>>
>>16527644
>I've wracked my brain and stretched myself beyond my means to figure out what's "wrong" with me. I've told myself for decades that it couldn't JUST be ADD.

That's a good point. ADD tends to come with coexisting issues that also need working on.

Some examples:

Mood disorders - depression, bipolar disorder
Antisocial personality disorder
Learning problems - dyslexia
Anxiety disorders - PTSD

All this just means that it's much more helpful to get a thorough and personal diagnosis that helps you deal with your own set of troubles, so that you can be more in control of your life.
>>
Hi Op. I have a lot of disabilities myself you can try medication but if you are sensitive like I am to medication I would not reccomend it. Things I find that help me is eating good, working out to stregnthen the mind so you can be stronger to addictions and also learning that you have your own learning style and accepting it. I learn best by drawing and taking notes at the same time.

Watch this it will make you feel better.

youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U
>>
i find it fucking hilarious that a thread about ADD has some of the longest posts I've seen in a while
>>
>>16528645
ADHD can improve reflexes in some cases, which I suppose can make some of us fast typists [such as myself].

OP, I also have ADHD, self-diagnosed but I have practically every single symptom and don't plan to take any medicine for it. I may also have MDD as another issue connected to it. ADHD sucks, or at least the symptoms I'm experiencing, and it seems like you've got similar issues.

Procrastination is a sign of it and something I struggle with, and I'm a huge insomniac as well. Excessive stress over things that require serious focus may come into the mix as well.

It seems a little unfair sometimes, the way it works. My mind is constantly going off in different directions and I'm a little sporadic, obsessive and very emotional.

It makes school difficult but it actually helps me with things as well. Overall it's a love-hate relationship. ADHD or not, I am positive I'm oddly wired in my own mind.
>>
>>16528645

From >>16527276 ...
>Plus, your brain is spilling over all the time. You're drumming your fingers, tapping your feet, humming a song, whistling, looking here, looking there, scratching, stretching, doodling, which leads other people to think you're not paying attention or you're not interested, but you're spilling over so that you can pay attention.

You're seeing written forms of our spillage. That's why the posts are so long.
>>
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I'm 25 and I'm almost certain I have ADD.
>constant immersive daydreaming, I keep pulling myself out but "it" keeps pulling me back
>procrastination, work faster on school assignments the nearer the deadline is
>take forever to explain things when talking to people (e.g. when telling anecdotes), friends and family get legit pissed at me for not "getting to the point" (I go off on different tangents and cannot maintain a linear narrative)
>a huge princess when it comes to focusing on tasks--always in the quiet study room when I'm at school because any conversation around me or motion in my peripheral jerks me out of my "zone". Also I can't read something at all if someone is talking to me/near me
>very slow learner, I just cannot fucking process new information (e.g., training at work, directions when driving) the way other people seem to be able to

Incidentally, I WAS diagnosed when I was little, but my mom hid it from me because she's one of these edgy ADD/ADHD deniers. Of course, growing up I never even entertained the thought, because no one ever talks about adults having these disorder,s and also because of the "lol it's a myth!" asshats. I'm at the end of my rope here--I need a diagnosis now, for SOMETHING, I don't care what it is, I just want help. I'm actually an honours student, but I feel like this thing is making it really hard to maintain it. Like, I have to work harder than the next person to get up there. Imagine what I could accomplish without this?

Does anybody know of any good clinics in Toronto? I emailed this place
>www.aceclinics.com
for an assessment appointment a couple of months ago but haven't heard from the fuckers. Because of that, I've decided that I won't call them, of course, out of spite...
>>
>>16530016

Using the same book (published 2005 in the US)
>>16527276
as reference, here's some places it lists in the back:

ADDA Coach Register
www.add.org
Listing of ADD coaches throughout the United States, Canada, and Puerto Rico.

ADD Consultants
www.addconsults.com
Provides private, personal ADD consultations, both nationally and internationally, via e-mail.

/.../

Additional Worldwide Resources

www.adders.org
This website includes support resources for Argentina, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Columbia, Costa Rica, Denmark, England, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Guernsey, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Israel, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Northern Ireland, Norway, Puerto Rico, Republic of Ireland, Romania, Scotland, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, the United States, and Wales.

But I need to research that stuff for Canada myself, so I'll try and remember to post anything I find out about Toronto in the process.
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>>16528645
Yeah I know it SQUIRREL!
Thread posts: 28
Thread images: 3


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