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What the fuck is wrong with me and how can I fix it?

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I'll cut to the chase. Im a freshman in college and my girlfriend and I have been together for two years so far, have an amazing relationship. Just this summer we started having sex (we weren't ready before then), made our relationship better in every way, we could be completely open with each other about what we wanted and such.

Now we are going to college about 4 hours away from each other, neither of us with cars. I've visited her about once a month since October and when we are together I love it, the sex is awesome, the togetherness and closeness is amazing. The problem is that whenever we are apart, I start to feel unsatisfied.

I'm 100% sure it's due to my heavy porn usage and masturbation since 12 (now 18) but I always feel like there's something missing. Whenever we are together it's more than I could dream of, but when we are apart I start to think of whether or what we have is everything that we could have, whether I'm completely satisfying her or not. I know that it's horrible of me to think of me or her as not as sexually gratifying as what I'm "used to" but the thoughts don't escape my mind. Also I've been developing some problems with controlling my ejaculate and an insecurity about my small penis which contribute to my frustration.

Basically my perception of real life sex has been ruined by porn and I'm not sure how to fix this, I have been looking at porn far less frequently now, but what else can I do? Masturbate less? Talk to her about it? Please help
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the sex will continue to get less gratifying. If you want to marry her then consider talking to her, but if that's not an issue then what you're experiencing is normal. For me, it wasn't until I has sex with 50 or so grils that I realized the few relationships that I had were more satisfying
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>>16524240
>blaming porn
dude porn has pretty much nothing to do with it, seeing eachother only once a month is the problem.
it's just enough to linger on for a while, but probably not enough to move on to a more mature stage of relationship, which is nesecarry cause the initial phase wears off after a while.
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>>16524240
Ok, so me and you have the same problem, but desu my problem has been more focused on being with an amazing lady that has kidney problems and cheating on her to find a more healthy woman. I'm not proud of this, and for a while, she made me feel insecure and unattractive for years before we dated. So now that I have her, its just not that great. I mean, I still don't know why she ever chose me after so many times I've been rejected, but I feel like for a guy to go through all the abuse and neglect, I deserve better, but I shouldn't complain about finally having what I waited for three years to have.

Listen, I don't know if you have anything similar to this, but I'm telling you, every time I see a better looking woman or a relationship that's better than mine, I get jealous. I think about what I'm missing, and I try to make myself more attractive to other girls to fill my needs. I think about how easy it is to feel appreciated. How nice it is to not have to try so hard for so little in return. Strangely, even after I'm so jealous, when I'm with her, those thoughts are gone. I'm free of anxiety. I smile and love every minute I am with her. I massage her and cook for her. And as for a woman without a clit, the sex is amazing with all the effort I put into it. She still comes even without a clit. I'm still looking for answers here, but tell yourself this. Is it really the porn, or was it the anxiety from your phallic size and waiting so long for this intimacy that took 2 years to feel, that porn has quickly given you faster relief within that time of waiting? It might just be a problem when we focus on how patient you have been while in love with her , combined with the frequent need to feel sexual gratification you've waited to feel for so long. So many couples have gone through so much less and didn't have to wait so long just to decide whether or not one should be intimate with the other or not. For a two year so an, that's a while....
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Blah blah blah blah
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>>16524428
Honestly the waiting went on a little longer than I would have wanted, but she's from a very conservative upbringing and is really cautious and does everything by the book in real life. It's the fact that we can only do this every month or so and that when we get together we have issues actually having sex (irritating condoms/lubricant) and she is so unwilling to try anything or bring up anything to try is frustrating.

I feel so guilty for feeling this way, and it's only ever when we are apart, but I just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with our sex life. Everything else is amazing but it's just a feeling I can't shake.
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>>16525155
Pffft. I get it. She's paranoid about how things "should" be done , and in porn, you get everything on the spot without worrying about your behavior and needs. I get it. You definetly want more sex and its tiring having to use these complicated ways and wording just to let her know you want some long and frequent loving. She should know you're a stallion that wants some more than one quick session a month. I can't do that. I would just refuse and move on. Blame instincts or just knowing the fact that i'm young and I don't want the sex life of a frisky senior in his 90's. You can understand this. You want more pleasure you've yearned for years to get, and this constant waiting is annoying as hell. It almost feels emasculating that you have to wait for her say so when you can get nasty. You waited for years once a month, but you wanted sex AT LEAST weekly. This is a common problem amongst men who struggle with frequency. Sometimes you wonder if she understands why you want sex so much? Does she think you're not attractive enough for frequent sex? Is she worried that you see her as a piece of meat, and not someone you've been patient for years to not only to finally have sex, but more likely to feel connected with her. People have sex to share their feelings to another the couple could mutually enjoy. I mean, giving her a massage is nice, but you don't feel that pleasure like you both would with sex. Also, sex should never be used against someone or ever used like a doggy treat for good deeds. You use sex to show that you believe she's attractive , healthy, and dedicated to her. If you said, "Actually, I don't want to have sex anymore with you" its not like she's going to be happy about hearing this. She won't feel pretty about it either. Especially if you made her yearn for sex but you refuse sex when she's ready for it.
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>>16525155
Just try some methods to make her more relaxed about it. Erotic literature helps. Walking around naked in her house or just wearing some male lingerie. Female is fine too, but only if she likes that. A lot do, and its new to me... Give her frequent kisses on the neck. Maybe after sex , ask about what she likes? I mean, the first time I did anything sexual with my gf was on the first date, we went to the anime expo and I a wore Totoro button up onsie. Imagine the easy access... So I talked about my feelings with her and how I felt about seeing her, and I gave her a warning about myself. I said, I liked her a lot, and when i'm around her, I need to wear belts (if you know what I mean.) So, I told her all this when we were sitting down hugging each other sharing a chair together. Not before. The last thing she needs are more precautions. Anyway, I told her that I get hard around her, but only after I made her want to hug me and shake me around like a dry cleaned stuffed animal after a long stroll on rainy day. So all that elbow rubbing and excitement makes a guy want to say something before people around see my trouser snake before she does. I then tell her about how I "secretly " act around her. She gets curious and stares at it. She feels around it lightly , then squeezes hard at some point. Then she puts her hand through the loose gaps and feels a bit , and for her added fun, I let myself relax and thrust slowly into her hand a bit then bring her close to kiss her neck to keep her turned on. She's still shy, but the DDR game is too intense for most of them to notice us. One guy noticed us, though. He was this Asian kid staring miles away in the corner with his mouth gaping open. Anyway, I didn't cum the whole day, but we grinded every chance we could. The long lines were actually worth it. And a little talk on the phone goes a long way. Look at her costume.
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>>16525920
We have sex like 5-6 times a weekend when I go to visit her, the issue is that sometimes her vagina is sore or the lube is irritating so right when I go to put it in its super painful and we have to stop. It's not her, its me is the issue.
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>>16525920
The only thing is whenever I ask her if she wants to try anything she just has zero ideas, she says "whatever you want to do", but then when I tried it from behind she was just like "nah".

I think the main thing with all of this is I have a lot of sexual relationship anxiety. I don't know how to bring it up with her since this is the first time both of us have done anything sexual, and I'm not sure if it's working right. I've only made her come from vaginal sex once, otherwise I've had to finger her or go down. I have come almost every time from vaginal sex, but never from a handjob or oral. Is this shit normal?

I see tons of attractive people all around campus when we are apart, together and I get supremely jealous and shitty. I'm gross, like 6' 2" 220 lbs fat gut man tits with a small penis, and everyone else around me is thin with good hair and is social as hell. Also, the girls are all super conventionally attractive, and while my girlfriend is beautiful, I can't help but want someone who looks conventionally hot. When we're together this all dissapears for a few days but every time in between I feel so frustrated, like I've failed at having a relationship that is conventionally perfect.

This has gotten really sad and whiny, but I just needed to vent to someone/something out there.
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>>16526390
Ok, so she's very nervous already, plus you have more sex than I get a weekend. Ok.
1. Massage
2. Foreplay, and take it slow
3. Is it vaginitis?
4. Use water based lube
5. Make sure she likes it always
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>>16526428
Nah, you're good. Its ok if you feel insecure once in a while. Its just a bit of self awareness and perfectionist behavior. Sure its a bit self absorbed, but hey, nobody is happy until they are perfect and left with many things to do that they can do. Its ok, bud. It might go away with time. You might just be in the need of more passion that's been held off for more than you wanted and you're trying to make up for it. In this span of waiting, you can say you're a great guy with a lot of potential , hoping that you can impress other women on the side. This is nasty, understandable, and should be curbed. The problem is the fact one isn't enough. Maybe this single dating has took to long than you could even admit. You want her to be more... Emotional, right? Less co fused and like a prudish, introverted servant. I get that. You want to get naughty without being scared of the consequences. You want her to have some emotional connection in return. You crave her, sure, but its hotter when she craves you and wears something secret in bed. Maybe gives you videos of her masturbating with her moaning and finally showing you how she quivers, calls to you, and gets just primal when she masturbates to the pure thought of being around you. Dude. You're human. You're young. You want something sexier. You'll miss her emotionally so don't miss out on her, but you may need to communicate this through in some way you're comfortable with. Also, I get it. There's sexier girls out there and your lust is killing you. There's girls out there you can have anal and a blow job in any order you want but this loyalty thing is bugging ya. You've been loyal for two years and you didn't get any sex till now. In that time frame, you could've been trying something crazy in the girl's dorm or whatever. Umm... You sound really insecure and your girlfriend sounds super cautious like she's been through a lot and is calming down from some trauma or she's virgin.
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>>16524293
you mean 2? 50 is an incredulous number for someone of your 4chan-posting-tude.
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>>16526777
I'm definitely insecure as fuck about this, and she's definitely lived a pretty sheltered life. Her parents don't really know we have sex.

I think I need to stop watching porn/go nofap and then just spend more time with her if I can, or at least talk about my needs more. She is really really just vanilla and not into as much stuff as I am so I should talk to her about that I guess.

I don't know how but you guys have helped me in thinking about this a lot. You also might be the same dude and I'd so I thank you.

Trips witnessed.
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