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Girlfriend is missed I replied to messages from one of her friends

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Thread replies: 263
Thread images: 19

essentially:

>moving to gf's area soon
>get message from a mutual friend (girl) of me and my girlfriend
>few days later reply to it with more information
>exchange a few messages back and forth, topics were pretty much me moving, the prices of certain foods in the area, and my gf finding an apartment for me
>later on gf's friend tells my gf about the convo
>gf is completely pissed at me for not telling her that exchanged a handful (20-30ish) of messages about boring mundane subjects with a close friend of her's

I can understand from her point of view it might be "he's talking to my friend behind my back", but I really don't see it that way. I just replied to FB messages from a friend, I didn't see any reason to tell my girlfriend about it.

What do you think, /adv/?
>>
Have you ever tried using a mood ring as a butt plug?
>>
>>16520697
You did nothing wrong, she's insecure.
Maybe she thinks her friend can't be trusted? I dunno.
Welcome to girls.
>>
Sounds like you just simply need a chat. Calmly talk to her about it. Show her the messages and tell her about how the messaging started.

Ask her about what she thinks. Ask her why she reacted the way she has. Try to understand where she is coming from. You're more likely to find out she's got the wrong end of the stick and has been wildly misinformed.

Most important thing is to stay calm, even if she doesn't. If she can not talk about this like an adult, do you even want to have a long term relationship with her? Also, if what you're saying is accurate, clearly her friend is a shit-stirring bitch, avoid her like the plague, never speak to her unless essential. She has dicked you over once, don't let her do it again.
>>
Since he decided to link me this thread, I might as well tell everyone how it went.

>he's in group chat with me and my friend
>I do not like the way she's been talking to him, saying how much she wants to show him around, that she wants to wait for him on the airport, she adds him on Facebook and generally the two of them being friendly.
>I tell him those concerns, big drama etc.
>Today they talk in private on Facebook
>he decides not to tell me
>friend hasn't called me for weeks and suddenly get a call from her
>tells me how two of them have been talking on fb in private
>I get upset
>he calls me being obsessive
>>
>>16520729
I would also like to add I'm not pissed, I'm just sad and disappointed.
>>
>>16520729
OP here

When my girlfriend came up with concerns a few months ago about our mutual friend wanting to show me around and such, I immediately reassured her that

1. I wouldn't let that happen
and
2. I only wanted to be with her (my gf)

Also, when our mutual friend suggested waiting for me at the airport I immediately shot her down because I knew it would make my girlfriend jealous.

I did not decide to just not tell you that I had a string of messages (around 20-30) with a mutual friend of our's. Nothing interesting came up or I would have told you. The questions regarding prices I asked she didn't even have answers to. There was literally nothing of substance in the conversation worth bringing up. If she (my gf) had asked, I would have told her about it. But a quick 10 mins worth convo with me asking for prices just isn't worth mentioning.
>>
>>16520742
My friend thought it was worth mentioning enough to give me and call and list me all the topics.
>>
get a room, losers.
>>
>>16520750
Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, she wanted to push your buttons? It doesn't seem very unlike her.
>>
>>16520755
Maybe it would be good if you never assisted her in pushing your girlfriends buttons?
>>
>>16520755
>communicating with person who wishes to use another person to push buttons of her "best friend".
>>
>>16520759
literally replying to her messages
>>
Sounds like your friend was trying to cover her ass for when you did find out or you fished the topics out of her with a "what did you talk about" seems harmless to me but hey I don't know how slutty your friend is. I've had conversations with my girlfriend's friends before and guess what, we never had sex, they were just normal conversations. Someone has trust issues and needs to work on them
>>
>>16520762
>replying
>starting thousands of new topics
>>
>>16520762
You just said yourself the friend wants to push you girlfriends buttons. Ignore her, it's simple.
If you don't want to ignore her, mentioning it to your girlfriend would be advisable.
>>
>>16520767
Maybe I'm excited because I get to move and see you more often and the topics were about said move?
>>
>this fucking thread
This isn't facebook you cücks, your banter is unbearable.
>>
>>16520768
Ignoring her isn't in his interest, he needs to have someone to use when I talk to my friend he dislikes.
>>
>>16520768
I never expected our mutual friend to actually use talking to me to push her buttons. I'm still not sure of it. If that's what happened then yeah, I'd cut off all contact with her. But I doubt it.
>>
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>>16520770
So, is it replying or starting a conversation? From what I've seen both of you were participating. Sure weren't any topics about me in your mutual conversation.
>>
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>>16520778
Quite obviously I didn't talk to our mutual friend to get back at you for talking to someone since I never expected you to find out about the whole 30 messages full of mundane and boring topics.
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>he calls her his "friend"
>never met either of us
>>
So hey if you guys are going to fight in the thread, want to post screencaps of the conversation in question too?
That way /adv/ can weigh in too.
>>
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>>16520786
>he didn't even want me to find out he's talking in private with the friend I was upset at him for talking to
>>
>>16520794
Sure, what do you guys need? I obviously don't have his fb screencaps.
>>
>>16520804
The convo in question, the one he was hiding.
>>
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>>16520783
I don't have enough donald trump pics for this
>>
He should be able to post them and you should get a cap from your friend to compare
>>
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>>16520807
>hiding

I didn't hide anything. You never asked. I don't see why I need to tell you when a mutual friend messages me on FB.
>>
It does seem pretty innocent, Andrea.
>>
>>16520808
Oh even better, he started a conversation with her. It wasn't sad enough he felt the need to tag her in his fb posts. Still, conversation was not about me.
>>
>>16520808
Yeah how about a cap that doesn't look butchered to cut out content that would incriminate you
>>
>>16520808
>cherrypicking screenshots
This thread is fun though, keep going.
>>
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I love them both oh so much.
>>
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The entire logs.
>>
That's alot of fucks for a normal conversation. Could make a porn star blush
>>
>>16520849
>he started the conversation today while he claimed it was her who started it
Fucking liar.
>>
>>16520849
This seems normal, also I got screwed when I converted dollars to dinar, I did 1=100
>>
>>16520854
ditch him sista
>>
>>16520845
She's learning english. The "fuck me all night" was supposed to me "typos have been fucking me all night"

>>16520854

I said she messaged me on FB first overall. Not the convo today, I clearly said I messaged her after she liked my post about it.
>>
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>>16520849
>>
>>16520860
guilty m8
>>
>>16520862
>moving to gf's area soon
>get message from a mutual friend (girl) of me and my girlfriend
>few days later reply to it with more information
>few days later reply to it with more information
>few days later reply to it with more information
>few days later reply to it with more information
>few days later reply to it with more information
>>
Guilty and lies, dump him.
>>
>>16520868
You obviously hid behind the information she messaged you few days ago but continently forgot to say how she wasn't the first to start a conversation today.

>>16520860
You really believe your lies?
>>
>>16520860
And you believed those were typos just one after the other?
>>
>claiming he just replied to her
>Started a conversation today
>>
>You obviously hid behind the information she messaged you few days ago but continently forgot to say how she wasn't the first to start a conversation today.

I flat out told you "she liked my post so I told her I bought the ticket"

>You really believe your lies?

Where's the lie?

>And you believed those were typos just one after the other?

She genuinely thought it meant what she thought it meant until you corrected her.
>>
I can't take this guys. It reminds me of my parents.
>>
I wonder if OP is really hot since there are 2 girls fighting over him.
Wanna make it 3? wink wink
>>
>>16520894
Looooool, she sure is your "'"''""friend"""""" for you to know what she actually meant, compared to someone who knows her for years.

Also
>I don't know, ask her
>I don't know
>I don't know
>He keeps autistically pushing the conversation
>also continently cutting the time so nobody sees how desperate you are
>>
>>16520907
Sure, if by 3 you mean us two ; ) Those 2 can go fuck off.
>>
>>16520903
Andrea you know I wouldn't do anything with anyone else so why are you acting this way? Let me put this into perspective and I think you'll agree with how I view this.

>A few days ago our mutual friend messaged me on FB
>Today, after she liked my status, I messaged her updating her about what she asked me
>We exchanged messages that were overall uninteresting
>I mention my girlfriend three times in those messages I believe
>The girl doesn't even know proper English
>I do not tell my girlfriend about this as it is uninteresting and irrelevant to what we were talking about at the time
>She is mad that I did not tell her

For reference she has never asked me to tell her when I talk to our mutual friend before, and I have never asked anything similar of her.
>>
>>16520909
He's going to get into more trouble now, anon.
>>
>>16520907
Also, he's not hot, she wants his green card and he wants a peon to hurt me with when I talk to my friend he dislikes.
>>
>>16520917
I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN IN THIS THREAD.
>>
>>16520910
>our mutual friend
She's not your friend, you haven't met either of us and you have only exchanged some words in broken English in the damn skype group, fuck off.
>>
>>16520922
So you guys aren't real bf/gf then.
/thread
>>
I just talked to someone I considered to be my friend and didn't tell you about it immediately...
>>
>>16520922
You're quite nasty. I feel sorry for OP.
>>
>>16520910
>For reference she has never asked me to tell her when I talk to our mutual friend before, and I have never asked anything similar of her.

Also, he sure as hell begged me for months to stop talking to the guy he disliked.
>block him
>stop talking to him
>>
Imagine being so insecure that conversations about money conversion makes you think someone is cheating. Imagine being so pathetic that you whine on 4chan about your girlfriend's insecurity. Imagine being so retarded that you argue on 4chan about your personal life. Real life must be rough for you two.
>>
Looks like this girl is looking for excuses for you not to make the trip OP.
>>
>>16520925
We aren't.

>>16520930
Hi Z, how's the thread treating you?
>>
>>16520937
A guy who I would consider to be your ex and has asked you for nudes while we were together. Not a very unusual request...
>>
>>16520937
>Person he hates
>Mutual friend
Hmmmmm, something is different about these two things but I can't quite figure it out.
>>
>>16520942
Check the timestamps between the post and my post above it.It's not me.
>>
>>16520948
>posts from mobile
>posts from laptop

Really not that hard.
>>
>>16520952
The amount of unique posters would've changed, it didn't. That means it was someone who has already posted.
>>
>>16520947
>mutual friend
No, she's not that. Hardly someone to call my friend, let alone his. If he calls a person who did the same nasty things to me as did the guy he hates, then I have to wonder what are his criteria for friendships, let alone relationships.
>>
>>16520957
Why are you in a relationship when you suffer from such crippling trust issues?
>>
>>16520955
Who says you aren't replying from both? You omitted some info to seem like she was the one messaging you, hardly a person to believe he won't do something like that.
>>
>>16520961
I'm not in a relationship, lmao.
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>>16520966
Reevaluate your life.
>>
>>16520973
I will, thanks.
>>
>>16520977
>>16520973
Actually, fuck that. I'll reevaluate people I come in contacts with. I am not getting involved with a word swindler or a liar next time.
>>
where is the popcorn?

this live drama looks fun
>>
>>16520982
>Fuck taking personal accountability
>I'll just blame others instead
You need help.
>>
>>16520982
The fuck Andrea?

You're just going to throw me away like fucking garbage because I didn't tell you about a Facebook convo? I lied to you exactly zero times here. I mentioned in the OP of this thread (as well as on Skype) that I initiated today's conversation after she liked my post. But really? You're going to throw me away? You tell me you hate me, you tell me you wish you never met me, and I forgave you instantly for saying those things, even though I would NEVER say those things to you no matter how upset or mad I was at you. Even through the darkest days where I was crying hysterically or throwing up from crying because of you, I never considered throwing you away like you're doing to me right here. I just dropped $350 on a plane ticket just so I could hold you and you're going to throw me away because I didn't mention an FB message exchange that occured 5 minutes prior to her calling you and telling you?
>>
is andrea in her period? perhaps that's what is making her emotionally unstable...
>>
>>16520995
Oh boy, please don't let this thread be two dudes trolling the shit out of all of us!
>>
>>16521000
Goddamnit she's going to think that's me samefagging for sure because she is on it.
>>
>>16521001
Pretty sure it's just a samefag.
>>
>>16520991
>>16521000
Fuck off.

Have your "head personas" you used in previous thread evolved into actual people you summoned to troll me? Now you can't blame it wasn't you who magically supports your opinions and knows personal details.
>>
This is what happens when you walk around thinking your SO is anything more than just another person.
>>
>>16521008
No I like legitimately swear that post was not me.

There has to be some way to check this

/adv/ janitor please confirm I mean holy shit this is uncanny
>>
Why you being like this Andrea, Why???
>>
I'm going to start recording this thread on my phone so I can post a vid later if Andrea accuses me of being any of you guys again
>>
Andrea is totally just OP samefagging
>>
>>16521016
I'll post vid later to prove it's not me
>>
>>16520995
You're a word swindler, you use it when you feel cornered to defend yourself like a poor desert fox who has brittle fangs and nothing but it. You're full of crap.
>hurr it wasn't me, they were my personas!!
>hurr your friend started a conversation with me but I was actually the one who started it but I was replying hurrrrrrrrrrr
>hurrrrrrrrrrrrr I pretended to be another person and used your abuse to make you think my issues make us relatable and thus meant for each other
>hurrrr was cornered when people were calling out Russians so I dissed them and tried to wiggle out of it
>>
>>16520995
Also no, 350 bucks is small price to pay for visa you're gonna get thanks to me and then use it to be with my friend or who knows else, Slavs are pretty.
>>
>>16521022
skeletonwaitingforoptodeliver.png
>>
>>16521023
I've explained all of those incidents. At this point you're just trying to justify throwing me away.

I'm sorry I ever made you feel bad. I know I'm not perfect and I have made some mistakes with you. I did not do everything you listed just now. Andrea, I love you. I don't know why not telling you about an FB ''''convo'''' that occured 5 minutes prior to her calling you makes me such a monster. I do not 'wiggle out' of things. You just misunderstand me the first time and don't believe me when I clarify them,
>>
>>16521029
What the fuck? You really think I want to be with anyone but you?

Why am I even talking to you right now if I just want your hurr visa? I don't want to be with L. I want to be with you. Haven't I made that clear enough?

I love you. Please just stop this. If you want me to tell you when future convos happen I will, but don't be mad at me for not doing something I didn't even know I was supposed to do. Don't throw me away like garbage because I messaged someone.
>>
>>16521034
I wouldn't throw you away, OP.
>>
>>16521030
50%
>>
>>16521034
You have not explained anything. How in the world and multiple personas in your head an explanation that you pretended to be 5 different people whoa are persuading me to be with you? You keep doing that, when you can't explain a situation you twist it. And of course, how would you explain to me that you messaged my friend that I felt upset about talking to you? In private of all things!
>oooooh do you want me to leave the group?? ;_;
>messages her in private

>Ooooh I hate that guy, you're being a hypocrite and obsessive!!!
>she's my mutual friend lol, nvm she did worse than he did
>>
>>16521044
>I messaged someone.

Oh no, no, don't you even try to minimalise what you did. You did something that you knew would upset me, behind my back. You had the damn group. You could have left a msg there. But no, you had to message her in private.
>>
>>16521012
I guess you could screencap the thread, responses to you say (You) after the post number
>>
>>16521052
>How in the world and multiple personas in your head an explanation that you pretended to be 5 different people whoa are persuading me to be with you?

That's not even close to what happened...

> how would you explain to me that you messaged my friend that I felt upset about talking to you? In private of all things!

M8 you do realize that you talk privately to someone who has seen you naked and has asked for nudes while we've been together. You have absolutely no room to talk here. I actually have a valid reason to get upset at you talking to someone else but I've decided not to use it, and I haven't used it for weeks.

>other bullshit

I asked if you wanted me to stop talking to her. You said no.
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>cherry picked fb messages so it doesn't show he messaged her first
>oooh but I was just replying to her!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>16521059
You had a hissyfit the last two times I talked to her on the groupchat.

I asked if you wanted me to stop talking to her. You said no.

>>16521069

That doesn't work on /adv/ for some reason. At least not for FF
>>
>>16521074
Yes, I was replying to her message she sent me a few days ago with more information, as I said in the third line of the OP.

What's so hard to understand about that?


also goddamnit street signs make me sick
>>
Dudes! Are these guys the same couple in which the guy is like 18 and she is 25 and the guy pretended to be a poster in here to get her to think his way?

If so, I thought we told you to drop the kid, Andrea.
>>
>>16521083
It wasn't like that, which I explained to her privately. The actual story is very different from how you and her would describe it.
>>
>>16521070
>while we've been together

Together? Pray tell, how is our relationship real with him it was fake?

So, is that it? It boils down to him again? Except now I'm stuck between someone using my best friend as a peon and her having unresolved issues that she needs to take out on me. What a living nightmare.

>That's not even close to what happened...
Oh sorry, I forgot you pretended to be other people so you could diss the people who were against our relationship.
>>
>>16521083
Ohh, that actually makes sense. Especially with the comments in thread about dating but not having a "boyfriend." Since last thread was about labels.
>>
>>16521083
I remember this too.

Come on Andrea, drop the kid.
>>
>>16521083
Yes, we're the same. /adv/famous ahoy!

But I liked the kid ; (
Why am I doomed to guys who make me suffer?
>>
>>16521102
Because you picked an immature 18 year old. Get someone your own age.
>>
This does not qualify to be an actual problem. Try to get more interesting problems kthanksbye
>>
>>16521091
Explained what? That your head personas were the ones replying and not you? That you were forced to tell you were lying when you said you used my abuse to get me to your side but then changed the story that you would have told anyone the same advice even though you can't conclude a personal secret like that from like 3 posts alone?

And now I mysteriously see people parroting your opinions again, except now you have a new method, summoning your friends.
>>
>make you suffer

my crime was literally not informing you of a convo the moment it was happening

you act like I talked to her to get back at you or something yet I didn't feel you'd ever find out that I had a *gasp* short convo with our mutual friend about my move. I mentioned the other guy because your hypocrisy is apparent in it. You don't like me talking to her, and you shatter when I do. I don't like you talking to him (for a much more justified reason), and guess what I don't completely shatter.
>>
>>16521113
I'm not doing anything. Only person I involved in this was Kendall in the skype groupchat. Kendall will be neutral while talking to us later.
>>
>>16521117

I repeat, she's NOT our mutual friend. She's not your friend either. Call your one day internet friends "friends" all you want, but you will not call my friends OUR mutual friends.

I suffer from the endless word swings you subject me to. I already had hard time trusting you, just when I was certain that I could maybe trust you, you twist your words even more and do something behind my back.
>>
>>16521140
>do something behind my back

I

Talked

To

Someone

You act like I'm seeing someone else
>>
>>16521143
You STARTED A CONVERSATION in private with someone I was having hard time dealing with in group.
>>
>>16521143
And not only that, I had to be called after weeks only to be informed that you talked to her in private while you had no intention of telling me in the first place.
>>
>>16521154
She asked me a few days ago when I would be going. I updated her that I bought the ticket and I asked her a couple questions.

I've asked you if you wanted me to stop talking to her. You said no...
>>
>>16521160
That was your cue to decide to stop talking to her anyway. Girls never say what they mean dumbass.
>>
>>16521160
You swindled your words to sound like she was the one who started the convo and you were just replying. But oh no, you had to do it in private instead of group chat that exist. Oh wait, you knew I was upset with the group and decided not to post there so you would be all innocent then you message in private and "don't feel the need to tell me" because you knew how it would sound and how I would react if I knew.
>>
>>16521175
I did no word swindling.

She liked my post on FB so I thought to message her there.
>>
>>16521176
She liked your post because YOU added her on Facebook (What do you mean Andrea, how could I have refused to add her?) and YOU tagged her in your stupid post.
>>
>>16521182
I... shouldn't have added her and shouldn't have tagged her in a post about something she was asking me about?
>>
>>16521187
What a lie, you always tag her, begging for attention like you always do.
>made a joke?
>better tag her hyuk!!!!!!
She likes all of your stupid posts you tag out of courtesy, yet I don't see you messaging her about it.
>>
>>16521193
I tag half of my friend list.
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>>16521197
You tag your internet buddies and that other guy, she's not your internet buddy nor your friend.
>>
>>16521160
Yeah, you messed up by assuming she meant what she said. My condolences to your shredded butthole.
>>
>>16521206
I consider her to be my friend
>>
No one cares anymore. You both seem pathetic and need to get over your boring selves.
>>
>>16521218
I only said no because he would use it against me to stop talking to people too.

>>16521219
You're as out of reality as always.
>>
>>16521221
Get the fuck out if you have no advice.
>>
>>16521230
>I only said no because he would use it against me to stop talking to people too.

So you want me to stop talking to someone because it makes you feel uncomfortable but you won't stop talking to someone because it makes me uncomfortable? Can you at least recognize how that's a little bit unfair?
>>
>>16521232
my advice is to belt the fuck up.
>>
>>16521230
Doesn't change the fact that you said something and thought the opposite. Now you two are having an old-married-couple tier argument because neither know how to fucking say what you're thinking. You're both pathetic and if you think this sort of thing will only happen a couple of times in your romantic lives then you are sadly mistaken.

Both of you need to suck it up. Nothing monumental happened, you're just both whiny shitbabies.

Just meet up and hate fuck each other until all of this is out of the way, then enjoy your pathetic two months together before one of you murders the other.
>>
>>16521245
>before one of you murders the other

Oh Jesus, please no, I'm afraid enough already.
>>
andrea is a fucking nut case run as fast as you can
>>
>because neither know how to fucking say what you're thinking.

Here's exactly what I'm thinking.

Andrea you are ultimately asking something of me that you would not do yourself. You don't want me to talk to her, yet me not wanting you to talk to a guy who has asked you for nudes is apparently obsessive. Ultimately I have dropped that case over the months because I trust you enough to not do anything stupid, especially helping that were when you promised to me that you wouldn't. But it doesn't change the fact that you want me to cut someone out of my life for you but you aren't willing to do it yourself.

This whole thing has been a huge overreaction by you. Did I intend to tell you about the convo? I didn't think about it. I suppose if we talked on the phone today I might've mentioned "oh and I was talking to [name] this morning haha she didn't even know the cost of noodles". But no, I did not make a conscious effort to prevent you from knowing. In fact, I was almost certain she was going to tell you about it/post in the groupchat about it anyway.

I have not intentionally shifted my words or twisted them in any way. I realize that initially I may not have been entirely clear, but I did clarify it in this post which I made around 10 minutes after the drama started. There would be no point in twisting my words to keep this hell going longer when I could've just said "sorry my bad" from the beginning and be sleeping right now, if I felt I actually did anything wrong.

Honestly I have tried to do all I can when talking to [name] to prevent you from being jealous. She gave a kiss smiley in the groupchat, I told her "no kisses" and that I was with you. She wanted to be at the airport when I got off, I shot her down. I didn't go into detail with my issues with my parents or anything because I knew that would make you jealous. Andrea, I love you and I still want to be with you.

>>16521266

He's memeing Andrea
>>
>>16521286
dude. you need to stop settling.
your girl is being an absolute lunatic over really innocent messages. if she can't handle you being on the same fucking planet as other women, she's probably bad news.
you really should tell her to fuck off and get over herself
>>
>>16521296
You missed last thread if you don't think he's crazy too.
>>
>>16521299
literally what did he do wrong though
>>
>>16521299
I recognize my action there were a mistake. I was running on 3 hours of sleep (coincidentally the same amount of sleep Andrea has right now) and was panicked. It wasn't all like it seemed in the thread though. But I really do regret that thread.
>>
>>16521307
I posted under personas of mine (but still me, not pretending to be other people) to give advice (which was my own genuine advice) to Andrea regarding our relationship. I crossed a line and for that I am deeply sorry. I have been getting some counseling online and albeit not the best way to get it I do feel like it helps.
>>
>>16521286
>. She gave a kiss smiley in the groupchat, I told her "no kisses" and that I was with you. She wanted to be at the airport when I got off, I shot her down. I didn't go into detail with my issues with my parents or anything because I knew that would make you jealous
+
>>16520845

And after all that you decide to desperately seek conversation with her? After she gives disinterested answers and you keep coming up with new subjects? For what reason?
I told you the price exactly, she kept saying she doesn't know.

Or maybe this whole thing revolves around me finding out and knowing you have your own player in the game in case I want to talk to him again?

>I realize that initially I may not have been entirely clear
We both know why you haven't been clear.

>He's memeing
Doesn't seem far from truth for someone with head personas. When will they decide they don't know me and I am just someone who hurt them?
>>
Jesus Christ the Autism levels in this thread are at alarming levels

You both should just kill yourselves, or atleast promise me you won't breed.
>>
>>16521319
I don't think what you did was that bad of a crime.
she's kind of bullying you. I think you should both move on because this relationship is extremely toxic and terrible
>>
>>16521319
What a shitshow of a person.

You both thrive off drama. Thank you for the entertainment. Stay together cause you deserve each other.
>>
>>16521307
She brought up my abuse which he knows hurt me a lot (that I have only told to him), pretending be another person and saying how both him and me can relate to it because of it.

He later pretended to be more people, trying to sway me his way and at the both time arguing with people who were against the relationship.
>>
>>16521352
Whoops, mean he, not she at the beginning of the post.
>>
>>16521322
>And after all that you decide to desperately seek conversation with her?

Pic related, I ended the convo but she messaged me an hour later. I'm blue.

>Or maybe this whole thing revolves around me finding out and knowing you have your own player in the game in case I want to talk to him again?

Okay I'm a genius, no doubt about that. But I don't think even I can think of that plan by myself.

>We both know why you haven't been clear.

I wasn't clear for like 10 minutes and then I made the thread...

>Doesn't seem far from truth for someone with head personas. When will they decide they don't know me and I am just someone who hurt them?

That poster wasn't me if that's what you're implying there. Like I said personas are usually just a fun thing I do to debate things in my head or post on the chans with,
>>
>>16521309
You should really get some counseling rather than just flying to another country, without even telling your mom apparently. The way you both are going right now, it's not going to work. Trust issues kill a relationship, and it's really hard to build trust back up. If someone can't trust you, any sort of white lie becomes a big red flag. Causing threads like this.
She should probably get counseling too. But it'd be better to both do so individually. Before moving or anything.
>>
>>16521352
isn't that something you two should be discussing in private and deciding how you should assess his issues?
your approach to handling this situation is no better than his, you play the blame game and bully him for having a innocent as fuck convo with some girl he doesn't care about.
like if you want to actually be an adult get off of 4chan and talk to him about it rationally? just a thought
>>
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>>16521358
forgot piceroni
>>
>>16521358
Listen to me. I always had hard time trusting you. Things like these make me trust you even less.

>>16521364
I tried to address it. He blamed his head personas.
>>
>>16521378
>Listen to me. I always had hard time trusting you. Things like these make me trust you even less.

Things like what? Having the audacity to talk to another person without informing you? Not being able to properly explain myself when I've had 0 hours of sleep?
>>
I sincerely hope neither of you ever breeds.
>>
>>16521378
okay yeah obviously, he has issues. he's going to blame his head personas. that's something he needs to be working on and apparently he has been with the counseling.
but you need to drop the message thing. you're out of control and should consider how this would look from an outside perspective
>>
>>16521392
Ok, how does it look to other people?
>. She gave a kiss smiley in the groupchat, I told her "no kisses" and that I was with you. She wanted to be at the airport when I got off, I shot her down. I didn't go into detail with my issues with my parents or anything because I knew that would make you jealous
+
>>16520845

And somehow I'm not supposed to be upset that he messaged her in private and kept going and going with topics?
>>
>>16521392
I don't like how you and her are saying I'm blaming things on them. Not like a kid who knocks over a vase and blames his imaginary friend. I do not blame 'personas' for anything. I posted under them in her thread whilst still being myself and expressing my own opinions.
>>
>>16521397
Yes you fucking nutcase. Let it go already. No wonder you have to go for 18 year olds with head personas on the internet.
>>
>>16521403
well you keep on mentioning the fact that you were so exhausted and sleep deprived and that's why you did it. It's not a big deal in the first place, no need to get defensive.
>>16521397
Looks like he acted appropriately and thought of your feelings. honestly don't know what your beef is
>>
>>16521428
>well you keep on mentioning the fact that you were so exhausted and sleep deprived and that's why you did it. It's not a big deal in the first place, no need to get defensive.

It was the hardest rough patch our relationship had. I genuinely thought I lost her and it was the worst feeling I ever had. I really think that was the worst day of my life. For the first time I can remember I cried so much I threw up.
>>
>>16521432
I understand that. But you guys keep going in circles.
I don't see this relationship ending positively
>>
>>16521447
You don't know the good times. When things are normal, they're amazing. Every day with her is something I can cherish. That alone, that's enough for me to never give up.
>>
>>16521459
okay but she has some glaringly obvious flaws. you can't live the rest of your life tiptoeing around conversations with other women
>>
>>16521459
She seems like the type of person that would drug you, strip you and tie you to a streetlight for breathing in the general direction of anything with a vagina. No amount of good times justify that if you ask me.
>>
>>16521472
He doesn't have to. If this is too much for him, to not desperately want attention from my friend, I don't know what to say. He was the one who wanted to be with me, not the other way around.
>>
>>16521492
Are you even aware of the situation?
>>
>>16521475
No. I never had problems with him talking to his female friends.
>>
>>16521500
Enlighten me.
>>
>>16521501
This whole thread is you having a problem with me talking to one of my female friends.
>>
>>16521501
You keep telling yourself that. I understand that it's much easier to put the blame on an insecure person with a mental illness.
>>
>>16521508
The whole thread is you desperately seeking attention from my IRL friend who you have talked to a few times online.
>>
>>16521513
I'm not mentally ill. The whole "head persona" thing is completely out of context in this thread. I am not mentally ill.
>>
>>16521492
you really need counseling.
you're on such a power trip from this that you aren't even considering his feelings and being rational.
you are completely taking advantage of his love for you because you know he will crawl back to you when you go off on this bat shit insane rant about boring conversations with other girls.
you seriously cannot expect ANYONE to tolerate your behavior and expectations.
grow the fuck up
>>
>>16521513
You may claim something, but I know I never had problems with his friends until he started talking to my friend who then started acting very friendly towards him.
>>
>>16521519
he wasn't even desperately seeking for attention they were just talking about mundane things. wtf does this really matter
>>
>>16521519

>my problem is that you didn't tell me
>my problem is that you talked to her even though I said you can still talk to her I didn't mean it
>my problem is something completely unrelated
>now my problem is that you're desperate for her attention for some reason because she didn't know the price of something

You made this huge drama over literally nothing.
>>
>>16521524
uhhhh isn't that what friends do though, act friendly? talk?
>>
>>16521521
Ok, I'm listening to his feelings. In fact, you could list them yourself, since you know him that well.
>>
This thread is the embodiment of pathetic. The fact that this is a long distance internet relationship makes things all the more worse.
>>
>>16521532
shut the fuck up you self-righteous bitch, you deserve to be alone
>>
Holy shit. Op and his girlfriend are both losers for having an argument on 4chan.
>>
>>16521532
What am I supposed to be feeling Andrea? The woman I love is making a huge drama and pretty much almost threw me away like garbage because I talked to someone I consider to be my friend.

I feel hurt, sad, destroyed, distressed, you name it.
>>
>>16521524
>who then started acting very friendly towards him.
This is exactly what I mean. Girls aren't even allowed to be nice to the guy.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.
>>
>>16521532
tell your bf to hit me up because I'll treat him better :)
>>
>>16521527
>was the one who always looked for convos with her
>now he seeks them in private
My problem is that he never felt the need to tell me while she called me right away to tell me what a nice conversation full of random topics they had.
>>
>>16521397

It's not like they were sexting each other you dumb bitch.

You should both just stop talking to each other and this thread ought to be deleted and purged from human history.
>>
>>16521550
i don't even know what you're complaining about desu
oh god they talked about noodles! they might take it to the next level and talk about the weather next :(
>>
>>16521545
Alright. : )
>>
OP is being a huge faggot.

If you think Andrea is worth it, then stop being a whiny piece of shit, stop doing stuff she doesn't like and apologize.
If you don't think she's worth the effort, stop with the bullshit and quit already. That's not hard.

Andrea is being a bitch too.

OP is clearly a dumbass faggit, so he has no idea he's doing what you think he's doing.
If you really like him, don't get so pissed at him for being fucking retarded.


Make up your damn minds about each other.
>>
>>16521542
>What am I supposed to be feeling Andrea? The woman I love is making a huge drama and pretty much almost threw me away like garbage because I talked to someone I consider to be my friend.

How can you love this psycho bitch? Are you insane or do you think no one will ever love you if she leaves? Don't worry we've all been there, dum p this hoe you spastic.
>>
>>16521554
>>16521555

Her friend was hitting on him on purpose and OP reacted like it was just normal conversation (because that's what it looked like to him) and then she snitched him to Andrea.

That's all.
>>
>>16521550
Was I supposed to rush right to you and tell you that I talked to her? I don't see why you would expect me to just go "btw talking to her right now haha doesn't even know the price of noodles" when it wasn't even relevant to anything we were talking about. If you had brought her up then yes, I would've mentioned it. But it wasn't relevant and there wasn't anything wrong with the convo.

If she was extra friendly, I would've told you
If she was outright flirtatious or otherwise explicit, I definitely would've told you
If anything was off at all I would've told you.
>>
>>16521543
Alright. Tell me that when a guy starts sending messages to your girlfriend with lolfukme:)))) jokes, wants to wait her on the airport, starts sending kissy faces etc
>>
>>16520729
OP if this is true your gf's friend might be using you to get back at your gf for something or just take out her undefined feelings somehow, and you're a dumb unwitting pawn in her manipulation game. It's kinda stupid of you to recognise that gf is feeling anxious and noticing the friend acting strange and then go and reinforce those fears with your actions and then go "bluh bluh you know I would never do anything". I mean, why put pointless strain on the relationship and turn it into some bullshit shittest of faith and blind trust against suspicion supported by actual events? Pointless extra tension. If the situation was reversed and it was your friend really putting the moves on your gf and she'd just go "oh shush I know he's really into me and we sort of had this private long little chat about you and plan to hang out privately as well but it's fiiiiiiine" you'd feel upset, no?

And also to the gf, like I said it kinda seems your friend has some chip on her shoulder and is trying to start shit between you and your bf, Maybe she's got self image issues and needs to feel desired by all men including her friend's boyfriends I don't know. But in any case maybe try to take her actions and words with a grain of salt and place the most of the blame on her shoulders, not your bf.

You're both kinda dumb. Bf should be aware from now on that the friend is a scheming viper who is also a sore spot for gf and who will dangle every interaction in front of gf, implying all sorts of things, and inform gf first. Gf should trust bf a bit more and not trust the friend's account of stuff. Communicate
>>
>>16521571

End this relationship and save yourself future headaches.

This "fight" is so stupid. My goodness.
>>
>>16521570
thats flirting?
>>
>>16521570
There was literally no hitting on me. Almost everything in that one screenshot was either a legitimate (to my knowledge) typo/mistranslation or a continuation of a joke we had at the beginning of the groupchat where Andrea and her friend just want me for my green card.

>>16521569

She is amazing. No one has ever made me feel so happy before. Even at times like this, I never forget it. I recognize she can be insensitive and irrational sometimes but it's worth it because I love her.
>>
Let's all sit back and consider that these 2 people have never actually met in real life.

Let that sink in.
>>
Actually if the gf, "Andrea" if I understand correctly, is listening - does the friend have a history of hitting on or getting involved with other people's boyfriends? She ever tried to steal a man from you before?
>>
>>16521570
>Her friend was hitting on him on purpose

There's literally nothing in those chat logs showing her hitting on him. If anything I sense mild annoyance from her and really broken English.
>>
>>16521592
>>16521593
>>16521600


Dude, what's flirting for someone isn't for somebody else. That's particularly true when talking about different cultures, which seems to be the case.

Also,
>>16521581
>>16521599
>>
>>16521593
your dedication is impressive but she's a miserable cunt and she will bring you down
>>
>>16521602
that's very clearly not flirting though. has someone ever hit on you before lol
>>
>>16521593
She's been dying to live in America since I've known her. She didn't like the other guy (you can thank him you got added to the group) because he 1) never gave her the attention you do 2) would shoot down her similar messages I had problems with 3) call her out 4) Didn't message her almost every day to start a conversation
You're not her type of guy in any way, yet she's acting veeeeeery suspicious, for what reason, I do not wish to know.
>>
>>16521602

You clearly don't know what flirting is you psycho bitch.

Either way, both of you shouldn't procreate. The guy is a total pussy and a pushover. If a girl ever gave me shit for talking to another woman about trivial shit I'd drop her faster than the turd I drop after coming from taco bell.

The fact that this beta loser is still kissing upto you shows how much growing up he has to do, maybe that's why you like him, cause you know any other rational man wouldn't put up with your immature petty bitch fits.
>>
>>16521599
....................................as weird as this may sound, she always wanted to be my man. She couldn't stand any of my other friends, male or female. She didn't have a romantic relationship before, but neither have I.

>>16521581
Thank you for your advice, most helpful thing in the thread.
>>
>>16521618
is ur bf hot
>>
>>16521618
Andrea that just seems really paranoid to me. When I was talking to her I got the vibe of "I don't really want to talk to you go talk to andrea" near the end when I decided to let the convo die, Even if she is after my sweet sweet greencard, is it impossible for you to think "hey, he really cares about me and wants to be with me some slut isn't going to take him away from me". Not only that I don't message her every day. In the past month I've talked to her maybe twice? Once in gc once on fb.
>>
>>16520937
>he sure as hell begged me for months to stop talking to the guy he disliked.
Okay, did you ever ask him to not speak to your friend in question now before? Or is it just that in your opinion, he should somehow telepathically have figured out how you feel about your own friend and just rudely not talked to her, or what?
>>
>>16521624
That's not me tho.....you're replying to another anon.

I pity the girls who have to be with you. If you feel the need to drop an entire relationship to feel like a top dog who did something grand to feed his own little fragile ego, you shouldn't be in one to begin with. Lmao, look at you even boasting about it.
>>
>>16521632
Which one? ; )))))))))))
>>
>>16521624
>you psycho bitch

Now that's some nice humanity thing you've got going on for you there.

Also, when's my gender reassignment surgery again, since you seem to know it better than I do?
>>
>>16521645

>I pity the girls who have to be with you

Don't want your pity tbqh. If I ever found myself with a girl this immature, which I definitely wouldn't cause I screen girls hard before committing, I'd drop her hard for nagging me about talking to her friends.

>look at you even boasting about it.

Damn right I'm boasting about it, I'd never be wrapped around anyone's finger as badly as this guy saying, "babey babey we never really talked baby, you complete me babey, I spoke to her twice baby I love you baby I never look at other women you make me happy"
>>
>>16521642
He knew precisely the things that have started to bother me. He knew them before I even told them. When those things piled up more and more and more, the conversation alone became unpleasant.

He knows how I feel about her and he knows how she acts towards me, yet claim to hate the guy who was acting less mean to me than her.

Rudely is not the word here, for he started initiating the conversations more and more.
>>
>>16521281
this OP tbhfam

never mind the plane ticket, try to get a refund and continue with your life, save yourself
>>
>>16521654
No man of mine will look at another woman and have me stick around.

Well then, I hope your girls enjoy their friends getting over the line and you dropping them if they say anything about it.
>>
>>16521650
lmao what????
>>
>He knew precisely the things that have started to bother me. He knew them before I even told them. When those things piled up more and more and more, the conversation alone became unpleasant.

I figured it was pretty obvious by now that you have nothing to be jealous of with her. Not to mention you're asking me to literally cut someone out of my life because you don't trust me not to leave you for her.

>He knows how I feel about her and he knows how she acts towards me, yet claim to hate the guy who was acting less mean to me than her.


I don't like how she acts towards you. Personally I've encouraged you to stand up to her. But that doesn't mean I can't have a conversation with literally the only other person besides you I know who lives in a foreign country I'm moving to in a handful of days. I mean me and her are not bffs or anything.
>>
>>16521675
>literally the only other person

Find other Serbs somewhere else then.
Why are you still friends with someone who's being a bitch to your girl if you like her enough to move to another country to be with her?
>>
>>16521682
My girl is friends with her. Why wouldn't I want to be friends with someone my gf is friends with? I do not like how she treats her, but they still remain friends and I'm not going to make an enemy with one of my girl's friends.
>>
>>16521675
>I figured it was pretty obvious by now that you have nothing to be jealous of with her.
And how exactly did you figure it out?

>I don't like how she acts towards you. Personally I've encouraged you to stand up to her. But that doesn't mean I can't have a conversation with literally the only other person besides you I know who lives in a foreign country I'm moving to in a handful of days. I mean me and her are not bffs or anything.

Well then, I do not see the reason why you felt hurt about your friend who went to visit only two American friends she had, huh? Even if she didn't like how the other girl treated you.
>>
>>16521689
Excuse me, did I ever ask to become enemies with her? For some reason you were never really interested in talking to any of my guy friends.
>>
>>16521689
Her friend has been a bitch to her, from what I've gathered. You generally shouldn't get close with somebody that's being a pain to your gf, I think.

She's pissed because your words don't match your actions. You keep saying you love her yet insist on working to mantain friendships with people that make her suffer. Wise up, bro.
>>
>>16521707
That's what I keep telling him. He's all bark but no bite. His actions show nothing.
>>
>>16521690
>And how exactly did you figure it out?

1. We don't even speak the same language
2. She isn't my type
3. I remember you not being upset over a recent groupchat
4. The affection and love I give you every day, that isn't fake. I can't just give you all of that just to leave you within the forseeable future. My feelings just don't change that quickly
5. I have striken down literally everything she has done that I considered to be even possibly flirtatious/'friendly', such as the kiss smiley and the like
6. I do not trust her at all. After the green card joke there is almost no way I would ever trust her that much. Geeze I take YOUR jokes too seriously!
7. Have I ever indicated in the past few months that I wanted anything other than to be with YOU?

>Well then, I do not see the reason why you felt hurt about your friend who went to visit only two American friends she had, huh? Even if she didn't like how the other girl treated you.

Astrid didn't move to a strange country where she didn't know anyone. She was just visiting. I know how she treats you and I don't like it, but I dunno talking to someone from the STRANGE country I'm going to be living in is reassuring. I'm pretty nervous about it, and it's good to know more people there I guess.
>>
>she's not my friend
>she keeps mocking me
>she enjoys my misery
>I don't love her, she's not a good friend
>I've know her for a decade
>LOL, MUTUAL FRIEND, SHE'S MY FRIEND EVEN THO I TALKED TO HER ONLINE FOR A FEW TIMES, WHY ARE YOU UPSET?

No, just no.
>>
>>16521700
Your singular guy friend didn't even want to see the pretty selfie I took for him.
>>
I wish this thread would fuck off.
>>
>>16521628
>she always wanted to be my man
Yeah I thought it sounded like the friend was playing at something. It could be that you just mean so much to her that she can't stand the thought of someone else, like a bf, coming "between you" and/or you and bf having a special relationship she's not part of - so she tries to be the third wheel in a way, get involved, or at least maybe drive a wedge between you two so that OP can't have anything with you that'd be more special and important to you than what you two have now.
Obviously, it's just armchair psychology but I've ran into situations like that over the years a couple of times, it happens. Girl friendships can get weird.

And actually, OP, that's also why you're a bit clueless in this situation. Girl friendships don't function like guy friendships, there's a lot of hidden tensions and the strong "best friends since forever" girl friendships can start to resemble longterm romantic relationships in some ways. Also your gf knows her friend since a lot longer time than you. So, if she says her friend is acting funny/suspicious towards you, maybe just believe the gf. To your clueless foreign male eyes it can seem like innocent banter, but there can be a lot of baggage accumulated over the years the friendship's been going on that's invisible to you but will send alarms blaring in your gf's mind, so tread with caution and also inform your gf about the communications and ask her opinion on what the heck's going on. Clearly the friend is a bit of a sore spot for her and there's some high tensions running so it's not the best time to start telling her how her friend you've never met must have felt. I see you didn't mean any harm but the situation seems so volatile I think the best option for both of you would be to discuss calmly about what to do in these sort of situations, as in how would gf want you to respond etc.

No-one's telepathic, remember. Communicate instead of assuming
>>
>>16521733
>Astrid didn't move to a strange country where she didn't know anyone

Neither are you. The point stand, you were still upset she's communicating and visiting someone who made YOU feel bad.

>love I give you every day
What, sending me a goodnight messages? Keep repeating that you love me over and over? Words words words.
And then do an actual action and talk in private with someone who is nasty to me and calling them your friend.
>>
>>16521751
You fuck off, there's a hide button.

>>16521747
A pity. I could show you selfies of you to my other guy friends!
>>
Still no proof that OP isn't samefagging
>>
>>16521769
You're gonna be single forever.
>>
>>16521764
>Neither are you.

I'm not moving anymore?

>The point stand, you were still upset she's communicating and visiting someone who made YOU feel bad.

I have no intentions of ever visiting her.

>And then do an actual action and talk in private with someone who is nasty to me and calling them your friend.

She's nasty to you and YOU call her your friend. How am I supposed to act any different? I dislike her for the things she has done to you but I still agreed to be friends with her. I don't talk to her daily (or even weekly). I don't talk to her like I would a true friend. I mean fuck I'd still consider that guy to be a friend even though I hate his guts.
>>
>>16521779
I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled another 10 personas and invited at least 15 friends.
>>
>>16521769
>A pity. I could show you selfies of you to my other guy friends!
>>
>>16521661
>yet claim to hate the guy who was acting less mean to me than her
Well that's simple, he's a guy and understands guy minds better, and so sees the other guy as a romantic threat (esp if he's an ex and nudes were involved) who is sort of on his territory - so he can hate him since he understands him well.

It seems he doesn't (didn't?) quite understand your friend, and is thus defending her and sort of blind to what she's doing, maybe because she "seems sweet". She's a girl and your friend, surely she's harmless, that sort of thing. Maybe?

It can be a case of miscommunication - the other person viewing each act separately, "well, this is just an innocent conversation, nothing to get upset about", and the other person seeing each thing as yet one more thing adding to a tall pile of things that have been accumulating over a long time, together forming a pile that is indeed starting to become serious. The problem is how to get both parties to really understand how the other one sees things, and take that view seriously instead of brushing it off ("you're paranoid" / "you should have known that's a shitty excuse"), and then find middle ground and understanding and compromise

man I hope this clusterfuck of a thread at least manages to push you guys towards better communication and understanding
>>
>>16521786
I have no personas ITT and no friends (that I know of at least) in this thread.
>>
>>16521785
>She's nasty to you and YOU call her your friend. How am I supposed to act any different?
I told you multiple times this. >>16521734 Have you forgotten?

You hate someone's guts yet you consider them a friend? You obviously have twisted way of what friendship is.

>I'm not moving anymore?
My land is not strange in any ways. It's safer than any Western country. People are hospitable and you won't get robbed.
You know me, yet you had to say she will be the one showing you around when I'm on my trip. You said that even before she suggested it herself. You obviously want something to gain out of her.

>I have no intentions of ever visiting her.
Didn't make it hurt less, didn't it?
>>
>>16521801
>I told you multiple times this. >>16521734 Have you forgotten?

You never told me before that you two weren't even friends Andrea. If you two aren't friends, then me and her aren't friends either,

>You hate someone's guts yet you consider them a friend? You obviously have twisted way of what friendship is.

It's a mutual agreement to be civil to each other and on not-horrible terms.

>Didn't make it hurt less, didn't it?

I didn't want to hurt you. Struck down her being at the airport, struck down pretty much everything that was a red flag. I'm sorry if I considered someone who caused you so much torment to be a friend, I guess I just didn't realize how bad it really was. Never expected it to really be worse than the guy, but if you say it is then I believe you.
>>
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>>16521785
>She's nasty to you and YOU call her your friend. How am I supposed to act any different? I dislike her for the things she has done to you but I still agreed to be friends with her.
>>16521689
>My girl is friends with her. Why wouldn't I want to be friends with someone my gf is friends with?
>>16521675
>I don't like how she acts towards you. Personally I've encouraged you to stand up to her. But that doesn't mean I can't have a conversation
OP. You are CLUELESS about how female friendships work. If you KNOW friend has been a bitch to gf before it's going to seem like a betrayal that you want to cozy up and develop a friendship with this person that makes your gf hurt. It's not just about whether or not you're going to fuck the friend, it's just about allegiances. Who you stand with, whose side are you on, that sort of thing. It's gf and the friend on opposing sides and your allegiances are fuzzy. You knowing that friend is a bitch to gf, having listened to gf complain, having told gf to ditch friend - and then contradicting that by suddenly acting as if bitchy friend is a nice person and "your friend" too, having private conversations gf didn't know about - that's betrayal. The sort of betrayal that that starts drama ending years-long girl friendships.

You could, maybe claim to be neutral and be friends with both if you'd known them both independently forever but that is not the case. You are the new wannabe boyfriend of the gf. You, apparently, only know bitchy friend through gf, and very superficially at that. She and friend have their own relation tangle, stay away from that.

No you shouldn't be rude to her either, but just remain neutral. DO NOT assume that something is "obvious", especially if your'e going into a new culture (culture differences and culture shock are very real things, and it can be that you base your knowledge on women and what's innocent and platonic friendly on US women and that might not be the case at all with foreign women).
>>
OP went to sleep.

>>16521851
Thank you so much for your reply. I do not know why he feels I'm active obsessive, yet he felt hurt to the point he claimed it changed his mood for days when his female friend went to visit another female friend that treated him bad and didn't seem to care when he pointed it out to her.

I just wish to know what he wanted from my friend who he knows has treaded me badly and he is aware of it. Plus:
>We don't even speak the same language
>I do not trust her at all
Yet he still wishes to be "friends" with her?
>>
>>16521973
Well I'm glad if it's helpful. It doesn't actually seem that hopeless between you, just that there's misunderstandings and OP maybe doesn't quite grasp the situation and just how you felt due to reasons, could be cultural.

It's actually very common that people see situations differently depending on what position they are in the setting. Everyone excuses behaviour they generally think is shitty when they're doing it themselves, often on accident and without realising it. When you're the friend being left out, you feel the hurt of the situation - but when you're the person talking behind someone's back, you see how innocent it is, the conversation is really mundane, how it's hard to decide that you should get "rude" and cut it short, things progress, you don't think, and so on… Whatever your position, it feels "natural". And thus, you end up accidentally doing the very thing you thought was so horrible a while back. It's happened to me, it's happened to every single person I know. Human behaviour, man.

Personally I suspect one thing he might want from your friend is literally a friend. If I understand correctly he's moving to a strange country where he knows
a) you &
b) your friends, through you
and that's it.
That's uncomfortable and frankly will cause some tension between you, because he won't have a life and friends of his own, everything will be YOUR life that he's trying to make his own, your acquaintances will be the only people he knows. So there will be a situation where someone you're sort of friendly with will suddenly become his best friend, and it can feel weird. I've also been in that situation, and in the beginning it's hard because you know maybe 3 people and they all have their own lives with older, closer friends and don't have time to hang with you, the new foreign acquaintance, as much as you'd need. You'll need to talk about it. But it means he's desperate for friends and contacts, and can accidentally blunder like this.
>>
>>16521779
it'd be pretty awesome samefagging then
>>
Andrea you made me suffer literally all day because I sent facebook messages...

How am I supposed to recover from this? It was supposed to be a happy day.
>>
>>16523367
OP, shut the fuck up please.

There was a dumb misunderstanding and you made things worse by bringing this shitfest to /adv/. Ok, you're hurting. But that's because you fucked up.

Sure, your gf wasn't as helpful and straightforward as she could have been here, but she's been reasonable. You not so much. Chill out, make amends already you two and remember to try to see things through each other's perspective. Particularly OP. Don't be such a dumbass next time.

tl;dr chill out, apologize and talk things through

See:
>>16521707
>>16521761
>>16521764
>>16521795
>>16521851
>>16522119
>>
>>16521973
OP just misread the whole situation quite a bit. He sounds like a nice guy despite the weird persona stuff though and being a little thick. Just be a little more patient with him.
>>
>>16523503
Don't worry, he misread nothing in his mind. He send a friend on me who called me names, who told me has has a right to do whatever the fuck he pleases and I'm in no position to disrespect his privacy nor intimacy of conversations he has with other.
Later he told me he did not wish to step in front of us all to defend me over her calling me a bitch for that would mean he isn't agreeing to everything she's saying. He did not have the courage to tell me in my face what he actually thinks so he had a friend with mentality of a 14 year old parrot his opinions, which she came up on her own. That they match his is purely a coincidence on his choice of friend who just happened to have the same opinion as him, as opposed to someone who would have a middle ground that he claimed for her to stand.
He refuses to listen to a reasonable explanation for what has made me upset >>16523487 and insist it's my fault for getting upset over a few messages.
>>
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>>16523367
OP (if that is you) you REALLY need to quit that kind of passive-aggressive martyr victim attitude, it's not constructive at all, you've both made mistakes here. "You made me suffer", "you ruined my day", "how am I supposed to recover" I mean come on she's obviously been distraught as well because she believes you've been creeping behind her back.

You have to learn to accept the blame (or your part of it) when you've done something wrong. Look I can understand it feels scary to admit that yes you did wrong, especially when Andrea is upset, since maybe that'd be grounds for her to dump you, and it's easier and "safer" to try to twist things into a view where you're the innocent victim of circumstance who never did anything wrong and it's in fact her who's reacting unfairly and everything is someone else's fault.

But that's a disastrous approach, because you DID do something wrong, even if accidentally, and trying to squirm out of it and even try to manipulate Andrea feeling like she's the only unreasonable one here adds a whole new offense, dishonesty and manipulation, to the pile. It only makes things exponentially worse. There's nothing wrong in straightening your back and owning up to what you've done, okay, I made a mistake, sorry, I wasn't thinking, didn't mean to. Just explain yourself, LISTEN to Andrea's points instead of trying to override her emotions and views with your own narrative and viewpoint, and learn and improve.

Obviously Andrea also needs to learn to be more patient with you since you're new to the culture and the situation, and give you the benefit of the doubt and EXPLAIN things more clearly from the start instead of jumping into conclusions emotions-first and getting offended and sort of assuming you "should know", but seriously OP you need to learn how to handle conflicts better. Whiny blame-shifting will only inflame arguments further.
>>
>>16523720
I applaud you for staying and trying to talk sense into them. I'm sometimes amazed by how much (a very few number) people on /adv/ actually care about giving advice and helping people.
>>
>>16523781
*very few number of
>>
i aint readin all this bullshit
>>
The girlfriend in this situation is crazy as fuck if after reading that conversation she still has any jealousy whatsoever. That conversation made my dick invert it was so mundane.
>>
>>16523781
Thanks and yeah, trying to help and really get into the problem requires getting involved and spouting out these walls of text, whereas simple short messages like "she's crazy, run" or "you're both assholes desu" are easier to write and don't require effort. I think the lure of /adv/ for most is kind of social porn, reading about the trials and problems and drama of other people. Which isn't inherently wrong, because it can put people's own problems in perspective. And not everyone has the time to dedicate to writing these long posts - I wouldn't really have had the time either, but I love to procrastinate, haha
>>
>>16521075
>Oh this just happens to not work for me
Very convenient OP
>>
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>>16523720
Good job, anon.
>>
>>16524059
I try to sometimes, if it's something I have experience with. But with stuff like this thread, yeah pretty much social porn. I do like thinking about perspectives though or imagining what I'd do in someone's place.
>>
>>16524059
>>16524427
Speaking of perspective, if anyone is having dating issues or issues with their significant other they should read this thread. It will instantly make you feel better about your situation knowing that you're not dating one of these raving lunatics.
>>
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What the actual fuck is going on in this thread?
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