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General Advice Thread

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The time has come yet again, and so have I with another thread full of solutions and wisdom.

Come and ask, and an advice shall follow no matter what your problem is, whether it be relationships, an illness, existentialism or anything else.

The less vague you are the more helpful the replies can be. Replies may take a while, some even hours, but you are guaranteed an advice back, full of wisdom™ !

Everyone else is free to give their advice as well.
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How to get fat fast?
I have visible muscles but I want to get more weight with fat.My body type is mezo-ecto
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>>16513262
I wouldn't suggest getting fat "fast", but to gain more weight you can eat 4 times a day instead of 3, make sure you put atleast 3~ hours between them though.

Eating bread with your meals is pretty good for gaining weight, as well as just about any other healthy, fatty food you enjoy eating.
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>>16513271

How do you feel about giving people advice even though most of it you just pull out of your ass?
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>>16513283
You're free to not take my advice if it doesn't sound good to you anon.

Personally for that specific answer, the only way of gaining weight in a healthy way that I know of is to eat more often while still giving your body enough time to digest it. "Home-made" or real bread you can have from a bakery has good properties to gain you weight relatively fast, if you consume it together with your meals.
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How do I curb my appetite?
I work overnight and it tends to fuel my hunger for unhealthy snacks and vending items.
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It's always better to regret doing something then it is to regret not doing it.
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>>16513293
The best and surest way is to use your will power. Understanding that fasting/hunger for short amounts of time is beneficial to your body as well as your soul helps.

Try not to eat much, if at all after 9PM as your digestion almost comes to a halt and things you have eaten rot in your stomach until the next morning. Carry an apple and a banana or another fruit you enjoy eating with yourself, and whenever you feel like eating something, have those.
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>>16513296
This is definitely not true, in inumerous situations.
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So, long story short I'm 99% sure I have a Bartholin's cyst. I don't want to go to the drs because if I'm super honest they all have really heavy accents and I'm very shy so I dont understand what they're saying and agree to whatever they say (horrible I know). And when I say all of them have a heavy accent, I mean 100% of them. Very small town and the nearest town over is 3 hour drive.

So I think I have one, the area on the pic is where a marble (if not bigger) sized painful lump is located. It has gotten worse over the course of 4 days when I first noticed it and its to the point where it is very painful to walk around, makes me want to crab walk everywhere. Even laying here its painful and throbbing.

Has anyone had anything like this/ any advice on how to stop the pain?
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>>16513318
You need to see a specialized doctor on this.

There's nothing to be shy about, the doctors do this for a living and meet hundreds of people with the same condition a week. At the start of the meeting with your doctor tell him/her to speak as slowly and articulate as possible and tell the doctor you have a hard time understanding through accents. There's nothing to be shy about this request either, I can guarantee you the doctor will understand and follow through.

If you have a friend or a family member you feel close to, tell them about it and ask them to accompany you to the hospital. You do need to see a doctor about this, don't seek help from online forums with vague descriptions.
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>>16513326
Goddamn it Jacksen I'm asking for relief of pain advice.

If by chance you aren't my boyfriend trying to get me to see a doctor, there are 5 doctors in my town, all of which I see at work on a regular basis. It would be surprising if they have 100 people a week between them.

The nearest hospital is 3 hours away. It isnt a vague description I've basically told you exactly what is wrong. Now I would like advice on how to ease the pain, please.

Even if I were to get to see a doctor, I have work tomorrow so the earliest time would be afternoon, more than 15 hours from now.

Please does anyone know a way to stop the pain? Already took pain meds.
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>>16513340
No, unfortunately I don't. Please listen to your boyfriend, your health is of utmost importance and 3 hours of driving or missing a day of your job or even losing it is nothing compared to it.

Even if you find a heavy painkiller to null your senses it doesn't fix the underlying problem. Let your boyfriend accompany you and visit the hospital, don't wait until the pain gets unbearable.
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>>16513346
boyfriend is LDR otherwise he would have driven me.
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>>16513352
Any other family members or friends who can help you with it? Any comfortable enough public transportion options to get there? Use whatever options you have to get there.
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The girl I was dating has gotten very busy the past few weeks. After the last date she'd suggested, we've stopped going out (not officially) because she genuinely is too busy. Most likely it will be this way for another few weeks.

Thing is, it's getting harder to keep up with her. She puts zero effort in us anymore. All she is interested is that workload, and we've exhausted that topic long ago to the point where we just sit in silence in person or she just gives one-word answers over text.

How do I reach out to her? How can I find new common ground?
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>>16513340
My wife has gotten that thing, and she was in uncomfortable pain, she would most of the time sit in a hot bath and use a warm compress and massage it. Apparently its a build up of fluid and massaging it gets to shrink.

She would do the compress 3 times a day. Don't know if this will help you but, my wife refuses to bring it up when she goes to the OB doctor.
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>>16513363
Speaking to her openly about it is the best way.

Tell her how you feel about how she doesn't put much effort and how she seems uninterested, and ask her if she genuinely wants to keep the relationship going.
If she wants the relationship she will make time for you somehow, if not she can just tell your right away you can both be on your way. Make sure she understands that you won't feel hurt and that she should tell the truth.
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>>16513363
If you're only dating and not in a serious relationship then i would take hint of the red flag. If she is too busy for you then don't be surprised if she puts you on the back burner for most things.

Another option is she lost interest in you and is trying the fade out method becoming more distant until you stop pursuing it.
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How do I find purpose?

The things that give me peace are either gone or slowly going. I need to find an alternative source of happiness so that not killing myself is worth it.

Things I've already tried that don't work: antidepressants, relationships, lifting, meditation, a bachelor's degree, a full-time job, writing a novel.
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>>16513412
Don't want to burst your bubble but, there is no divine purpose that suddenly gives your life meaning. You're just living and you need to make the most out of it before you die of old age or randomly get hit by a distracted teenager texted.

Now seems like you're not being challenged. You have a degree, relationships, and a full time job and the comfort of bills being paid on time.

How about you strip all the luxuries away and move to another country/state and start from square one and try to survive. Maybe you will find happiness and invigorated by life or not. But something has to shake you out of complancy
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>>16513412
Anti-depressants only make things worse, drop them immediately if you haven't already.

To many the understanding comes when you are at your best, doing what you truly wish to do. First you need to know what it is that your soul wants to do, and for this you need to sit down and think about it.
If you've done the thinking and haven't come up with anything, it only means you haven't done enough of it, everyone has something they wish to do.

It can be as simple as working at a job where you often get the interract with people, it could be living with seals on a beach, it could be becoming a musician, anime critic, jeweler, scuba diving instructor, whatever have you. You'll know what lies in your heart if you don't already.

Next, whatever is making you even think about suicide, drop it. Anti-depressant medication is very well known to push people into suiciding and making their conditions worse, drop those. If it's your envoirnment, your friends, your job giving you too much stress to handle, drop those and move on and make friends and build an envoirnment surrounding what it is that you want to do.

For all this you need to build willpower, be content and have the understanding that eventually everything will be fine. Lifting/exercising and meditation helps greatly with this, have you kept going at them for a good amount of time? Regardless you should go back as exercising has immense benefits, and if you are doing it right so does meditation. (Not the kind where you intensely focus on an object, but the one where you let go off all thoughts).

Anything that you feel like doing such as writing a novel, or simply moving away from your comfort zone like this anon >>16513427 suggest can also help you on your way.
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>>16513427
You misunderstand, I got fired and I don't have a fiancee anymore

Thanks anyway
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I fall apart whenever I try to improve myself. I'll get things together for maybe a month, and feel happy during that time, then gradually start to lose my drive, do less and less of the good things I've been doing until eventually I'm back to hating myself for a few months. I know it's going to happen, and I try to mentally prepare myself for it, figuring if I just push through I can establish some good habits and actually be successful, but I never do, and my feelings of worthlessness are inevitability confirmed.
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>>16513486
Oh, my question is, I've come around again to where I feel capable of doing good things. How do I not fuck it up this time, because a strategy of "I'll try harder and I won't give up" seems to fail every time.
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>>16513486
>>16513490
The vague answer to your vague question would be: willpower, understanding and working towards what you want to do in life and enjoying the steps to get there.

What changes? Are you taking any medication? Is getting things together for the goal of doing the things you want to do, or are you just pushing through a job or education just because you feel like you have to? What drives you to do better and why do you lose it?

Good habits, good things and being successful are vague things that can mean different things to others. If you are simply going to gym and picking up a random language with no idea what to do with it, it can be hard to keep up your motiviation. Do you have an understanding of what you wish to do? To keep going you need the willpower which usually comes with knowing that you are working towards that goal, and with that comes the motivation to keep going and with that, joy.
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>>16513283

That's what everyone who gives advice on this board does.

If you want help from a pro, pay to see a fucking pro.
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>>16513431

Do NOT listen to what this guy says about anti-depressants. The shit he is spewing is scientology-tier anti-psychiatry horseshit.

If the pills aren't helping at all - see whoever prescribed them. Tell them about your situation. Often there will have to be adjustments to make efficient use of them, and it can take time, but it is worth it. If you want to quit, talk to a pro before doing anything! This guys is a quack.
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>>16513543
>>16513412
Here's a post made in another thread, because there's a pharma shill lurking in /adv/ threads.

"Any modern drugs and prescriptions, especially the ones pertaining to these mental blocks are heavily side-effect ridden, addictive and over all harmful to you both physically and mentally.

Please remember that this pharma industry is a multi-billion dollar industry, and they have "creative marketing agents" or as we call them, shills, on every single social media platform, forum and imageboard.

Do your research before agreeing on taking any kind of pills."
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>>16513498
I've never taken medication. I try improving my diet and exercising, which usually consists of running but I've tried swimming and lifting as well. Generally the only goal is to improve health and wellbeing but I've tried setting measurable goals, such as reaching novice lifts, but it doesn't really matter because ultimately I don't care. I also try to pick up some kind of productive hobby, of which I've tried a few. Drawing seems to be what I'm the best at, and when I was younger I used to do it for fun so it sort of makes sense to try and continue with it. I'm just doing these things because exercising and productive hobbies are the generic advice for what to do if you hate your life.
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>>16513543
Why are you spreading death and suffering as a "job"?

Why couldn't you have some dignity and do something that isn't THE thing that is wrong with this world?
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>>16513543
>this obvious bigpharma shill
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>>16513547
But why do you hate your life? Your first goal should be to find out what makes you happy. It could simply be drawing, building up a nice family with a mate you care for, a whole another way of living, becoming an animator, anything.

Find this out first, because if you hate the way things are right now and don't get to the essence of it, whatever else you do will not flourish.
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>>16513547
Oh, and as for work and education, the same habits follow there, which is why I'm a dropout. I don't even think it's worth it for me to go back to school because I know it's just going to be a waste of time and money.
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>>16513569
If you think it's a waste of time and money, then by all means, dropping out is the right thing to do. It doesn't mean you are a failure or you are doing things wrong, it's more of a call from your heart for you to find what you truly wish to do.
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Girl is 2 days late on her period.
How fucked am I?
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>>16513579
I hope you become a loving father and a great husband. (don't let your dreams be dreams) (*flex*)
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>>16513565
Why wouldn't I hate it? I'm a failure in every regard. I have no education, no career, no skills or hobbies, no relationships, and apparently no ability to motivate myself to attain those things.
>>16513578
That's nice but it's not really helpful.
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>>16513543
Anti-depressants cause more suicides then depression itself does. You can do a minute long research and find it out for yourself

>Often there will have to be adjustments to make efficient use of them

Oh, you mean they'll just up the dosage.


>If you want to quit, talk to a pro before doing anything!
>all those insults

You couldn't make it any more obvious that you shill for big pharmaceutical companies.
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>>16513586
Everyone has to start somewhere, why would you call yourself a failure because you lack certain things for the time being?

The hardest thing is to start moving, but once again I need you to sit down and think about what your heart wants you to do. Drop all the negative crippling nonsensical thoughts, drop all the self pity and look into yourself.

Once you find out what you want to do, and once you start taking little steps towards getting there, free from the made up negativity that serves nothing, you will find that you enjoy doing it and the motivation and the willpower will find you.

And once again, this could be anything. Spending your life on a remote corner with a beautiful caring wife and your children, any job where you can socialize with like minded people, traveling a lot, anything. Get to thinking and listen to your heart.
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>>16513545
>>16513558
>>16513587
>>16513549

Get out, Tom and John. Scientology is not welcome here.
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>>16513612
Great arguments there, Mr. shill.

Have you tried our new pill for a better argument building, called argubuild™ 2000? Comes only with 23 life threatening side-effects and suicidal thoughts only after 5 months of usage!

Talk to your doctor, now!
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>>16513612
Can you please answer why you are choosing to spread death and suffering for some pocket change?
It's not too late to change, it's not too late to repent.
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>>16513612
Actually, you are here in my thread shilling for suicide-driving "medication", you are the one who is not welcome here.
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>>16513603
I don't know how to find what you're talking about. My natural tendency seems to be indolence, so I guess what I'm really meant to do is stay in bed all day and sleep as much as possible, since I don't need any motivation to do it.
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>>16513662
You wouldn't be here seeking answers if that was the case.

Here's a step by step on how to find out what you truly wish to do: Clear your mind from negative crippling thoughts -> sit down to think and listen to yourself.
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>>16513624

What is this meme? Surely people do not really think someone is getting paid argue for or against anything on a Bhutaneese finger painting board.
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>>16513676
I'm sorry but I don't know how to do that. In my experience thinking only leads to obsessive, unhelpful rumination, which results in some of my more undesirable behavior.
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>>16513727
Here's an official document proving the existance of shills:

https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/02/24/jtrig-manipulation/
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>>16513727
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>>16513727
>le trust me guys no shill here
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>>16513727
This shill is getting blown the fuck up every time he posts something.
Thread posts: 52
Thread images: 11


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