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30yo virgin here. It bothered me more and more to a point where

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30yo virgin here.
It bothered me more and more to a point where I started to decline girls hitting on me because I was afraid of the shame of not being able to handle them.

To solve this, I just went to see a prostitute today.
We made out, I got hard, but as soon as she started to blow me, it felt so strange that my dick turned flaccid. After that, I managed to get a semi-hardon but again, as soon as she put my dick in her pussy, it kind of hurt and my cock went flabby. She then apologized for not being able to make me cum and I left.

Worth noting: she was not so attractive. She was fat and her face was only meh (the girls who are spontaneously flirting with me are more attractive than her)

Now I'm asking myself the following questions:
* Am I impotent from watching porn or was it nervousness and the fact that I was fucking a complete stranger that was not so attractive?
* Why did it hurt when she started to fuck me? Seems weird, but her pussy was not that loose, does it hurt your dick when a girl is too tight?
* Why did the blowjob feel like nothing special?
* Would have it changed anything if she was actually pretty?

Also, it was the second time I got a blowjob, last time was from a guy and same thing happened, but at that time I attributed it to the confirmation that I was not gay.

Picture unrelated
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stop masturbating too much
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You gotta stop beating yourself up and reserve your cum for real vaginas now instead of for porn and prostys. Dont worry, i went to a prosty my first time too. Felt cool, but fuck that bitch.

Every vagina is different. Some bitch i fucked with that fucked many guys had a VERY tight vagina. Then some girl who had only recently fucked one guy in a ONS, and before that, 9 months of no sex, didnt feel shit
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>>16509944
Did you have the same experience?

I usually fap every other day, last time was the day before yesterday.
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>>16509949
So it could have been because her pussy was too tight?

i alwys hear other guy saying tight pussy is best...
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>>16509940
But to answer your questions;

1. Could be a combination of all 3 factors, one of which you have complete control over. Google your brain on porn.

2. Sometimes. Every vagina is different. Use lube.

3. I think blowjobs are very over-rated, but if she knows how to get that right amount of suck and tongue on your pee hole, could feel really good.

4. Maybe. If you're focused more on her face then anything, then yeah
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>>16509956
I think you still need to experience more, so that you can best judge it yourself. Dont let yourself be your worst enemy. Live life, my friend
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You're overthinking this. You were supposed to go through this when you were 15 and the hormones would have made you forget about it and go at it again. Which is what you should do. Forget about it and fuck some more. You don't know it yet but all that repressed sexuality has made you into a hormonal factory that will ravage shit like your name is Halfdan and they're Ireland.
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>>16509960
>>16509964
>>16509966
So you advise me to go again with a different, prettier, whore? And also stop masturbating?

Last time I stopped fapping for 2 weeks, I started to leak precum while only casually flirting with girls and got blueballs after every big erection (it hurt so bad I had trouble walking)
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>>16509983
You're weak. Doesn't matter how the whore looks, just fuck more whores. Fuck redhead whores too, they're the godly man's choice.
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>>16509988
You're saying it doesn't matter how she looks but right after you tell me get specifically a redhead, it doesn't make much sense. (I agree, redheads are hot, but there's none where i live)
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>>16510011
You live in a very whore impoverished neighborhood then, my friend
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>>16509983
Id say to fap a little less, cause a man needs to take care of stress.

And if it makes you more confident, have your best friend try out a different vagina, etc, try it out.

I went to two prostys before i just started fucking other girls.
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>>16510016
It's in Asia now, genuine redheads are rarities, so let aloe one who whores herself
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>>16509983
But overall, flirt back too to the girls you say are flirting. Paying for whores is expensive. As nike says, Ju' do i'.
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>>16510024
You asian or white guy fucking asian whores?
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>>16510030
Yeah I flirt back, sometimes. But only to the point where she suggests going to the next place, then I cocklock myself because I'm afraid of not being able to handle the situation.
>>16510032
I'm white
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>>16510050
You gotta stop being afraid then, or actually, embrace it. See if embracing your fears might turn out to be the best high ever, turning fear in exhilaration and adrenaline.

Whachu got to lose anyways?
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>>16510070
Seeing a whore was my take at overcoming that fear, but it didn't turn out very well.
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>>16509940
OP, still around?

How does it happen that you are still virgin? I'm 24 and never even had a girlfriend.. so it really never gets better like other people say?
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>>16510935
Sorry, I went to sleep. Don't know if you're going to read this but whatever.

It's a long story but basically a combination of having shitty teenage years, not liking myself and Internet.
The first 2 prevented me from getting my first girlfriend when I should have and the addition of the last one allowed me to sleep through all those years, only waking up on my 30th birthday and realizing either I escape my comfort zone or I just an hero (after my mother dies cause I know it would devastate her).

My advice: NEVER PUT YOURSELF IN A COMFORT ZONE UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED WITH YOUR LIFE
>>
More venting cause I guess it feels good to get it out even if nobody will read.

I had a happy childhood in the middle class suburbs of Paris, always first in class, had a lot of friends, everybody likes me, etc. Around 10, shit hits the fan, parents get separated (my mom couldn't cope with my dad's alcoholism as he became more and more verbally abusive), moved home, changed school, lost all my friends, mother's company starts to harass her to make her quit, but being a single parent she takes the shit, but she gets very bitchy at home.

In reaction to that I do the stupidest thing I've ever done: I start to eat like crazy (I was eating a pot of Nutella in 2 days, directly with a spoon)... in 6 months I get fat. I continued to have this tendency of eating shit when I feel bad until very recently (now I just get shitfaced).

I entered puberty being a fat nerd (sadly that's your status when you have good marks, even if I had always tried to help other kids during tests by giving them answers and such) and I was completely self-conscious about it.

Junior high-school was shit, when other kids started to have girlfriends, I just stayed by myself with my small group of perma-virgin misfits. I remember one girl came to me during those years though, but I ignored her cause she wasn't that good looking and I didn't like myself enough to consider having a gf that I don't truly love.

I enter normal high-school, the few friends I had were dumbasses so they go to vocational school and I lose my friends again. At that time I also get my first computer and Internet access: nothing bares me now from going full autist. And that's just what I do. I study just enough to be above average, become addicted to porn and generally just stop giving a shit about anything.
>>
I get my high-school diploma without studying, I thought I would have failed so I didn't consider which university I wanted to go, I choose the closest university. Bad choice. It's a culturally enriched one. Basically less than 10% of white people, and the other ones are kind of white trash. I get even more shut-in and even more addicted to porn, spend about 4 hours a day browsing porn.

Change university after Bachelor for a decent one, but the damage is done, I don't even try to fit in other people's groups. I discover MMORPG during my master's degree, become addicted, waste 3 years because of that.

Finally I start working, good job, decent salary, good manager. But I'm still sleeping, I just go to work and back home to my apartment, daily routine. I'm also still fat.
After 1 year, my company trusts me enough to send me on business trips by myself, I visit Europe, America, Asia. I end up applying for a permanent position in a foreign country, salary skyrockets but I'm just by myself in a country I don't speak the language and where they don't really speak English either. It's depressing at first, but this was actually one of the best thing that happened in my life as it forced me out of my routine.

On my 30th birthday, alone in my apartment, while browsing a feel thread, for the first time in years, I cry like a bitch and I ask myself "wtf am I doing with my life?". I decide to get a gf, get the first one that came by me and showed a remote interest. Relationship is shit, she's actually a very complicated person, she's also afraid of sex because of supposedly bad previous relationship (fuck I had hoped she would make me discover sex, now she asks a fucking virgin to educate her sexually), after 3 months still no sex, only foreplays, I don't see the relationship going anywhere so I break up but decide to not give up.
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I meet a girl at a bar, she's really different from the other girls, she looks more real, conversations with her are interesting, she calls me out when I start to act retarded, she has a decent job, she doesn't wear too much make-up, she dresses like shit though, but still attractive, so lots of potential. And she's single. I start to think more and more about her, after about a month I realize I fell in love.
I decide to better myself before asking her out, cause she still looks a little bit out of my league and being fat in Asia is really a turn-off. I hit the gym, lose about 10kg. It's been 3 months since we first met her and she's still single, but at this point I'm thinking about her everyday and whenever we talk, I'm petrified and go full spaghetti, but she still comes to me, even goes out to some restaurants with me.
Last Friday, I decide to make my move and finally ask her out on a real date, I had prepared some potential plans for the weekend. She had told me she was busy this week, but I message her when I'm at the bar and tell her I hope to see her there when she can. 10 minutes later she's there, that's good. After small awkward chit-chats, I ask her what's her plans for the weekend, she tells me she's busy and eludes the question when I ask her when she'll be free, that's not good. She's very distant this time, what the fuck is going on?
Time goes by and she stays distant, she invites one of her female colleague at the bar and since she had told me she doesn't like clingy people I just let them together and go talk to other people while regularly checking her out. Around midnight, while I'm out smoking a cigarette and casually talking shit with random people, I see her leaving the bar holding the arm of another guy, it's the first time I see her with someone and I totally didn't see it coming.
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I'm heartbroken, I got rejected and keked full force. It was totally unnecessary of her, did she want to punish me? I wake up on saturday morning with a hangover and still fully clothed on my bed. After some strong black coffees, I make up my mind and think it happened because I was way too nervous, so in order to not let this shit happen again, I decide to lose my virginity to a prostitute.

Rest of the story is in first post. Going to try again with a whore, hopefully a better looking one this time because I had to close my eyes to get hard with the last one...
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>* Am I impotent from watching porn or was it nervousness and the fact that I was fucking a complete stranger that was not so attractive?
If anything, you are just spoiled by making yourself cum. Giving someone else an orgasm is not that easy compared to masturbating. So don't stress out, masturbate less and try it again in the future.

>* Why did it hurt when she started to fuck me? Seems weird, but her pussy was not that loose, does it hurt your dick when a girl is too tight?
If you only had a semi it was probably the reason for pain.

>* Why did the blowjob feel like nothing special?
Most don't. See above: Giving someone an orgasm is pretty hard. Most people are not that good at it and I remember my first girlfriend practicing A LOT before I actually found it arousing/pleasing.

>* Would have it changed anything if she was actually pretty?
Most likely, but who knows.

You should realize that you are not any longer a virgin. That's good if it takes away pressure. Just fap less frequently and with less grip, then try a good looking prostitute in a bit.
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>>16511890
Thanks for your answer and your insight. I think I'll follow your advice.

I was about to go again today, but I guess I'll try sometimes later.
Meanwhile I'll try to avoid having orgasms and when I feel I can get aroused by the thought of a real woman and not just porn, I'll go again.
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>>16511867
>I decide to better myself before asking her ou
>It's been 3 months since we first met
Your window of opportunity had closed LONG ago, my friend. Don't hang around a woman so long before asking her out.

When you meet a girl you like talk to her a few times and then ask her out on a date. don't wait around.
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>>16512036
True, basically this guy told the truth >>16509966
It should have happened 15 years ago and all this relationship thing is very new for me.

Now trying to jump start it with whores... at least for the sex part.
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>>16509940
Tour limpness problem can probably be solved with reducing your time spent masturbating, maybe even resort to viagra. Also see a doctor. Not because you fucked a prostitute (although if you didnt wear a condom for the oral or vaginal sex you might wanna gdt tested) but for the painful intercourse bit. Its embarrassing, but doctors handle that shit all the time, and painful intercourse is some pretty basic stuff. If no insurance then go to free clinic. Dont leave anything out either.
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