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Cheating

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My gf asked for a break in our relationship to understand her feelings. I gave it to her. Then I caught her kissing another guy. Is this cheating?
She said that it was "just a kiss" and it meant nothing and "it just happened". She denies that she cheated because they didn't have sex. I loved her. Now I feel betrayed. She doesn't seem to be sorry. She blames me for watching her.
Is cheating really only limited to sex?
A break does't mean the end of a relationship. It's just paused, but still there. Right? Do you think what she did is OK?
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>>16471889
Cheating is what you make of it

The important thing here is that you were hurt, and she probably knew it would hurt you

I would consider kissing very close to the edge... Things would have to be going very well in all other departments for me to continue the relationship

Also, consider if she's the type of person that would do this again. Hey, if she can get away with kissing, why not do it regularly? Why not just stick a tongue in sometime? Why not let herself get touched up during it too? Hell, why not just fuck?
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YOU WERE ON A BREEEEEEEAAAAAAAK!!!
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>>16471889
go ask /gif/ for an "It's not cheating" thread, I'm sure they'll be able to help you out.
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>>16471900
I know. Could you please explain what you mean?
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>>16471954
>he doesnt Ross
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Let me define (or try to define) the term cheating:
When sexually engaging another girl/boy without you wanting that your current partner knows about the situation.

Bad english ftw
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>>16471898
She likes to drink and sometimes she flirts with other guys. The guy she kissed was holding her in a party a couple days before that. She blamed that on alcohol. She also wanted to keep our relationship in secret. The guy did't know anything.
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>>16471889
How serious is your relationship?

Women take commitment as bad as men do. If the "OH GOD I MIGHT BE WITH THIS GUY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE" thing kicks in, she maybe asked for a break because she wants to go on dates with other men and see if after that still wants to be with you. That's a fairly common thing, though (understandably) a lot of people would have issues with it.

Fact of the matter though: you agreed to go on break, cheating IS NOT limited to sex, but she has every right to have sex with other people right now.
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>>16471889
Regardless of whether kissing counts as cheating or not, if she really wanted to be with you and loved you, she wouldn't have kissed another guy, or put herself in a situation where she would be kissing someone else.
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A "break" doesn't have any one meaning. Some people use it to cheat, some do it to try to ease into a breakup, some people just hear breaks are a thing and when stuff gets hard they take one. Some people allegedly even use it in a way that helps their relationship.
But in this case, you should probably officially break up OP. She took a break to "understand her feelings"... for someone else probably. Or maybe just to see if she still had feelings for you because she was questioning it. Either way, she hurt you, and her response says she doesn't care, even blames you for it.
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>>16471889
When she asks for a break - that's her cowardly way of saying she never wants to be with u. Sorry dude. Sucks so bad. U will be ok tho. Plenty more heinous evil women out there for u to meet
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>>16471982

>wanted to keep our relationship secret

Break up. If she just wanted a break for her own feelings, she wouldn't be interested in another relationship until she was done with yours.

The fact that she wants to keep it secret means that she wants guys to think she is available. If she doesn't find a guy that's suitable enough for her, she'll go back to you until she finds another suitable time to take a break, potentially when more male suitors are available.

Just avoid the fucking problems and ditch her. It sounds like whoever this guy is that she's been seen with is the new apple of her eye.

Also, if she loves to drink and flirt, it's honestly only a matter of time until she has a bit too much one evening and ends up fucking that guy. The alcohol is just a nice convenient excuse.

I don't know where all this shit about "breaks" come from. It's just a made up, convenient way of fucking around a with other people until you either find another one and break up for real or you don't find anything better than your current relationship YET. If she had intentions to keep the relationship, she could have just said she just doesn't want to see you for a couple weeks. But since it's now a "break", your relationship is temporarily severed and she's free to pursue her possible interest in other guys. It's all just mental gymnastics.
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>>16471889
Its a break.

Drapery what bad 90s tv shows tell us, it is usually a sign that one party feels pressured. It might be wise to simply end the relationship completely.
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>>16471889

Breaks = breaking up

She just can't bring herself to say it directly.

Sorry bro, have seen it and experienced it, your relationship is over
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My girlfriend had a "break" too, she didn't cheat on me but breaks are to break ups what poisons are to bullets, ditch her and find someone new, I'm getting over it too but it'll be fine.
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>>16472015
Also, one day she wanted us to go to speed dating together, but I refused.
I talked to her about the incident. She wouldn't directly respond to my questions. Like, when I said that I don't want to be her number 2 she responded with "are you an idiot?". I'm afraid she's playing games with my head and pretending to be the victim.
Another thing is that she hangs out mostly with guys. Our relationship started when I got out of her friend-zone about 3 months ago. We have quite much in common, but she drinks much more than I do. The first half of the relationship was magical, then something went wrong and we started to drift apart. I tried to fix it, but it went with varied success. I believed that I could do it, but now my trust to her is undermined. I thought she was a good person, but I'm not sure anymore.
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>>16472153
Get rid of the slut. She is just using you until she finds someone new. You need to drop that bitch like a bad habit.
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If it's still cheating, in what way is the relationship even paused? I mean, not to argue in defense of breaks because I think that they very rarely work out, but that is kind of the point. If you want less contact you can just ask for space. A break is a more radical way of removing yourself from the relationship for a bit to find yourself again or make up your mind about whether you want more of this in the future or any other reason.

So no, it is not cheating. That doesn't mean you have to like it or feel obliged to get back together with her, though.
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>>16471889
>>16471889
That crap needs to be made clear before you agree to it, because clearly you two were not of the same understanding. Either way, would you really want to go back to a whore that kisses some other guy so soon?

Have some dignity. Move on. Don't ever message her again. Don't even respond to her. Take your phone out right now - literally - and delete her number. Block her off facebook. I promise you will feel better. I promise. As soon as there is no window or door to go back into your past (her), you will only look to the future and it will be so liberating. This is what I do with ex's and it feels so fucking fantastic. Move on. It's time.
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>>16471889
>My gf asked for a break in our relationship
Ding ding ding ding. Leave her. No future wife material goes on a 'break'.
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>>16471889
C U C K
U
C
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Thread posts: 22
Thread images: 1


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