bf's proposal & rejection

>>16466883
How do you know he's going to propose?

>>16466883

tell him before he buys the ring idk if those things can be returned

and note you may never recover that trust depending on what happened

good luck

Watch him not propose and she's upset he didn't propose

how did you find out he is planning on proposing and buying a ring. Just wondering because it might help with the answer

>>16466894
>>16466903
He told me that he was going to propose as a Christmas present. We looked at rings before he broke my trust.
>>16466900
I wouldn't be upset if he didn't. I just don't want him to propose even when I tell him not to, or leave me because I reject him.

>>16466899
they can definitely be returned, people reject proposals all the time. it would be kind of fucked up if places wouldnt take them back.

What did he do to shatter your trust?

you could drop subtle hints like saying how you like where the relationship is right now and stuff. But that might not get the message to him. When it comes down to it honesty is the best thing and is what keeps the relationship strong. You could explain to him that you honestly do love him but that you still need time. And if he presses then explain that the reason you need more time is to fully trust him again and make sure. If he truly loves you then he will wait. Oh and make it very clear that you are not rejecting him but that you just want things to stay how they are for a bit

>>16466959
Bump^^

>>16466959
>>16466973
To sum it up, he thought that I wasn't good enough or our relationship wasn't, and thought that he missed his ex. But at the last minute pretty much, he changed his mind and realized how I was the one, how good I was to him compared to his ex, etc. They had been together two years and she was awful to him, always putting him down and not letting him have friends, not putting out, etc.
He wasn't planning on telling me about his doubts, but I caught onto it and asked him about it one night, and all of his doubts and thoughts came out.

>>16466952

and if the ring has any kind of engraving ?

the ring size and stone setting can be custom too

so your "always" blurb is sadly false

>>16466983
Regardless of the deceit, you guys have only been dating seven months. Tell him it's better to wait it out than jump into it head first

It sounds like he took a huge step in the healing process with his abusive and finally got over her. But yeah you have the right to want some more time after that. Just be honest with him, trying to play games with him about something this important is not right. Just make sure you explain that you are not rejecting him

>>16467017
This too

Just talk to him. Like "hey remember how we looked at rings? I still care about you and want to be with you but I'm not comfortable with that anymore and I didn't want you to still do it and it be awkward".

So simple, just talk to your goddamn significant other.

>>16467058
It would be that simple, if I knew that he wouldn't react badly. I know how he is with confrontations like that, and it's not good.
He will make it out to be like I don't love him. That I don't want to be with him anymore, and he'll give me an ultimatum of leaving or getting engaged.

>>16466883
>moving in together after only 3 months of being together
>he wants to propose after only 7 months
>youre staying with someone you cant trust

youre both retarded and should never reproduce

>>16467074
what in the world? Okay what you just described is a pretty asshole thing to do. Someone who loves you would not do that

>>16467074

Tough tits. If he gives you an ultimatum like that, good riddance. Tell him that you thought all was gravy too until that whole thing happened and you're still recovering. Also you've only been together like one second and even under the best of circumstances it was stupid to consider engagement. Tell him that the fact that that all happened AFTER you looked at rings proves it was an ill conceived idea to begin with.

And if he still gives you ultimatums and shit, congrats he is a manchild and you have this amazing opportunity to escape him. He can deal with reality or get bent.

Of course this will all be unpleasant to deal with because confrontation sucks but that's life and you need to deal with it and he definitely needs to fucking deal with it.

>>16467076
I can see where you're coming from, but I also see the other side. My parents met at 19, moved in together a few months later, got married at 20, had their first kid like a year later, had two more. And they were together for 35 years until my father passed.
I guess I was just raised to believe in love.

>>16467058
THIS.

You have to be up front and deal with their sadness. He should feel that way and you have a right to do what you're doing. You will grow as people if you tell him not to propose yet. Maybe help you become ready for marriage in the future.

>>16467074

What is he, your spoilt child or rapist conqueror? You seriously believe he would give you the ultimatum to leave or get engaged and you still think it is a good idea to be in a relationship with him at all? You are both a pack of idiots.

>>16467098
well what you should also understand is that kind of thing is rare, and that basing your life on the way your parents succeeded is a terrible idea. just because it worked for them doesnt mean it will for you.

>>16467148

And certainly if there is indeed love worth making bad decisions over it certainly doesn't involve someone giving you ultimatums to marry them, putting you through some weird drama over their ex, and generally being a huge manchild cunt. He's given you plenty of evidence that caution should be used.

>>16467190
fucking this

>>16467076
I came here to post EXACTLY this

Jesus Christ what are you two doing? If you're meant to be together, you'll be together. You have nothing to lose by waiting to move in, get married, and have children. You have a lot to lose by doing those things too quickly. It makes way more sense to wait years before doing any of that.

>>16467210
m-maybe he loves her so much he just felt like he needed to take the next step?

>>16467283
That just demonstrates lack of forethought or understanding, which should be a big relationship red flag.

>>16467096
This, you need to get a man that can handle confrontations. All these other hints at his personality aren't redeeming however attractive he looks.

>>16466883
Just tell him straight up

>>16466883

If he's broken your trust that early in your relationship, when presumably you both want it to last a lifetime, he WILL do it again. There are plenty of good men out there, trade this one in for a better model.