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Since second grade I realized I was gonna die alone. Still feel

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Since second grade I realized I was gonna die alone. Still feel crushes for girls. Still know I'm gonna die alone. My mom fucked me up to bad. I have no friends. I never get invited to anything. Nobody talks to me. I am alone. I don't feel connectjon to family at all. I feel like if mom died my life would get better. My parents want me to go to collage. I want to be free. I want to go anywhere away from here. Bay area ca. My question is: "When you were in high school did you feel like me?" If you did. What dd you do? Do Yu regret it? Not trying to be whiny bitch which is why on 4chan b/c anon. Need advice. Ask questions to free will.
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>>16457091
You do sound like a whiny bitch, which is probably why you don't have friends.
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>>16457095
>12
Thought about that before.
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run away from home and live with the homeless
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>>16457091
You just answered your own question OP. You have to kill your mother.
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>>16457113
Don't wanna go to jail
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Why are you such a whiny little bitch OP? If you have nothing to lose, go for it.
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>>16457117
I don't know thats why I went on /adv/
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Sure I felt the way you did. I was wrong. You are wrong too.

You and I were a lot alike: never wanting to put forth effort, yet wanting all the rewards effort brings. I am not going to tell you I got better, because I didn't. I still struggle with my shadow on a daily basis: I have to fight myself for my own happiness. And oh holy Hell does it suck when I am in the middle of it; doubly so when my shadow wins. But when my better self carries the day, I am happier than slavery to my impulses has ever made me, or ever will.

And that's still not enough. Every day, my lazy ass gets back up with a tenacity I'd thought reserved for the likes of Michael Jordan, and certainly not something I'd have ever expected from someone whose one and only demand is to do nothing at all. And it kicks and screams as I go about my day, and I basically have to mentally beat it into submission just to more-or-less function. It is a ruthless way to treat one's self, and I am ashamed that I have to do this when, it seems, most people mastered the will to DO when they were 20 years younger than I am now. But I DO it. Many days, anyway. Because I have been where you are now, and I see where it leads, and sometimes the thought of not having to go back there appeals more than rest does.

And this is what you need to do. I am sorry that I know no easier answer than brute force. My way is unhealthy in its own ways, I fully admit, but there are degrees. It still beats the alternative.
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>>16457149
Thanks for that man. You told me what I needed to know. I'll keep this in mind and I will make sure I end up fine
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>Since second grade I realized I was gonna die alone.
because you're ok with that? or because putting effort into being a nice person is too much for you?
>Still feel crushes for girls. Still know I'm gonna die alone.
if you decide to....
>My mom fucked me up to bad.
Yeah blame it on someone, people educate themselves out of amish and islam, you can take control.
>I have no friends. I never get invited to anything.
invite people then, they may think the same
>Nobody talks to me.
do you talk to people? actively approaching some quiet dude for no reason takes more effort than accepting him into a conversation, guess which of the two I do all the time. guess which one you can start doing tomorrow and thereby take control?
>I am alone. I don't feel connectjon to family at all. I feel like if mom died my life would get better.
puberty talking?
Just wait. it'll all be ok soon and you'll love seeing her in the weekends after you move out.
>My parents want me to go to collage. I want to be free. I want to go anywhere away from here. Bay area ca.
why, to see the world? to explore life?
good, just do that! for a year! have fun being abroad and when it strikes you that life sucks when you have to hold your own pants up, ,especially without education, you can still go to college. seriously, just try it, I did a year of work between master and bachelor and it sucked, working in factories and such, but made me more determined to go for an educated job. Just tell your parents working a crappy job for a year will help you decide and not waste tonnes of money on having to switch studies midway.
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Listen op, I guarantee that you being alive only causes pain to those around you. You are doing it all the time, and you don't think other people are people. You think people think differently than you.
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continued from>>16457237
My question is: "When you were in high school did you feel like me?" If you did. What dd you do? Do Yu regret it?

In a way yes, and I grew over it. I'm still introvert in that I like my me-time to recharge, but I can talk to strangers and girls pretty well.
It goes trough experience I guess it's a combination of experience and confidence.

confidence that you have something to offer to people and the world. Confidence that they won't kill you if you say something awkward. Confidence to be able to laugh along when someone makes a joke at your expense, it was probably honestly funny and not ment to put you down.
One pro-tip: look at all those cool talk to everyone social people, i mean the liked by all types of people people, not the douchebag
What do they have in common?
They listen, rather then talk!
They ask you stuff and bring it up later, making you feel like you mean something. You can contribute to people and conversations by simply listening, usually there's enough people waiting for their turn to speak anyways.

Just be prepared to screw up, with girls, there's MANY of them and none of them is perfect, talk, screw up, learn and on to the next! If you're into some sausage-fest study, the internet (tinder/okC) may help you meet them.

>Not trying to be whiny bitch which is why on 4chan b/c anon. Need advice. Ask questions to free will.
wel you did succeed in being a whiny bitch but as you seem to be in a difficuilt time of your life, where you probably not realise that these are small problems really, I forgive you for that.

I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but the problems you have can be dealth with.
Btw in college you will be with people who share the same interest, especially if you do something specific, like engineering or biology or such, that also makes social interactions nicer, people tend to be less harsh on one another than in highschool.
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>>16457091
I never felt like you because I'm not an autistc fag. Get your shit together and ask some qt out
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Waaaaaaa! my mom this my dad that.

Take some accountability and grow up
Thread posts: 15
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