Can't pee in front of people

>>16449029
>>16449029

just pull your pants all the way down it'll be fine

>Visualization, think of rivers and waterfalls and the touch of aquariums.
>Tell yourself stuff like 'I am alone, I am free, there's nobody here, everything flows, it's already over, I am relaxed."
>Relax your shoulders.
>Deep breathing exercises.
>Smile
Go, go, go!

>>16449051
i have the same problem, I usually think of pinetree needles and the colour green in general

>>16449051
>I am alone, I am free, there's nobody here

Except there's a drill instructor screaming at me
>PISS, FAGGOT!!!

>>16449055
also try to not be aware of your surroundings, thats what the visualisations are for I suppose

>>16449070
I mean once you get over it you wont have the problem anymore, you should work on it BEFORE you join the army

>>16449029
Practice by peeing in public. Hold it in until you're about to burst and then pee wherever you happen to be. If someone gets angry just tell them it's military stuff and you're in training. Either that or get diapers and pee yourself in stores.

I can't do it because I have a small dick. I wish I had a bigger dick, I've seen guys get frisky with each other at the urinals. Being small means you miss out on things in life. Unless you're black.

Will girls ever understand this pain? They at least get their own stalls.

I can't even go if I hear people outside the door.

>>16449077
That's what I was thinking. Seems like the only way is to just try over and over, and not worry so much about failing. Eventually, something should click. Just need to get desensitized to standing at the urinals. Stop hiding in the stalls like a beta kek.

>>16449088
OP here. My dick is pretty average, so whatever. My issue is more with people hearing me pee lol. I don't know why I'm embarrassed by it. So stupid.

>>16449095
Girls are fucking slobs. I always hear nightmare stories about ppl having to clean the ladies room.

>>16449102
Well then you just go to push yourself through it, drink lots of water, go to establishments with urinals and piss. There'll be anxiety at first, but the more you get used to it the less anxiety there will be. Cognitive behavioral therapy it's called.

It's really not that big of a deal anon. Just drink fuckloads of water before its your turn to piss. Drink warm water to because it will process way faster through your body

I have he same problem OP, sometimes it's such a huge pain in the ass. Even if I have to piss so bad it hurts, if I'm in a public bathroom and someone else walks in, my piss valve instantly seizes up. I used to be shy as a boy but now I don't give a fuck, don't care who sees my dick, but the anxiety of knowing I won't be able to piss if I'm not alone makes it impossible. If I'm with friends and we take a group piss break somewhere I usually pretend to shit in the stall. Lately I've stopped caring an jut admit it, like "yep I can't pee until you leave, its weird as fuck I know". One time my boss walked in and stood next to me at the urinals before I started my stream. Most awkward 20 seconds of me trying to pee then walking away obviously having not peed. Fucking sick of it. I've tried all the mental games and tricks, doing math in my head etc., nothing works. Only time I can do it is if I'm drunk.

>>16449152
If someone walks in while I'm trying, I just pretend like I'm finishing up and shaking the piss off my dick lol. Also, I usually try to piss on the side of the bowl so it doesn't make any water noise. It's an unnecessarily complicated life.

I'm currently in the military and I have the same problem my solution, don't piss before PT, if you are the lucky one chosen then they are forced to keep you there until you do so drink water and wait. I've pooped in front of plenty sergeants just to pee dont sweat it

>>16449187
How frequent are PTs? Do the sergeants get annoyed if you take long to piss? How long does it usually take you?

>>16449051
Yeah because I always smile while I pee.

>>16449152
>Most awkward 20 seconds of me trying to pee then walking away obviously having not peed. Fucking sick of it.

this is the funniest thread on /adv/ i've seen today!

Not funny because you guys have a problem but the way you guys type it out is funny af!

>>16449187
If you are taking a shit and say a Colonel enters the bathroom do you have to stand up and salute them?

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>>16449035

>>16449029
Try peeing in your backyard first, then behind stores, then piss in the sink in a public bathroom. hehe i know gross but it works trust me.

>>16449029

practice makes perfect. go out, drink LOTS of water and go to ab athroom and stand at the urinal until you piss. if you drink enough water and/or beer its gonna happen.

do this as often as possible. if theres a public restroom near your house or work just go and drink a lot of water and keep goign at it until it begins to happen normally.

if this is too hard, dont bother joining the military.

>>16449102
Do you care when you hear others pee?

>>16449029
>some old guy groped my taint while I forced a cough
>command staff crowded around while my plt sgt measured my shirtless body
>some goat herder fired a rocket at my section chief

Your experiences in the military will lower your inhibitions. Shit like peeing with an audience will become a non issue before long.

>>16449393
Not at all, but for some reason I have this idea in my head that other people are paying a whole lot of attention to the sound of me peeing or not peeing. In reality, they're probably just zoned out staring at the wall in front of them.

>>16449029
>minimum years of military service, then pursue a career as a police officer

Good God you have no idea what your getting into. Security Forces sucks some serious ass.

Long hours, boring work, hellish deployments.

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>>16449367

SPELL THINGS WHILE YOU PEE

I used to have the same problem but solved it by spelling random words while standing at the urinal. I'll usually spell the words etched on the urinals. 'Onomatopeia' is another one that I spell a lot for some reason.

As far as I can tell, spelling activates different parts of the brain which distracts you from your anxiety much better than focusing on rivers or waterfalls.

>>16449707
Oops

Onomatopoeia*

I think it'd be a little easier if all bathrooms had some sort of chill music playing. Pissing and shitting noises accompanied by silence is kinda weird.

>>16449137
This. I had to piss test when I joined the military (obviously) and I failed the first time. So did 2 other guys with me. We drank sooooo much water that within the next 45 minutes we didn't give a fuck about anything except pissing. When it hurts bad cause u have to go so much, its easy

>>16449829
Do the "observers" just stand there and watch the piss leave your dick? How weird is it?

>>16449152
You're not alone

>>16449029
paruresis.org

bashful-bladder.com

www.menshealth.com/health/peeing-problem

and so on, and so on. Just google Bashful Bladder

>>16449029
When the first bullets start zipping past your head, I can assure you that you will piss just as readily as everyone else. Right down the front of your pants.

>>16449085
>>pee wherever you happen to be
>"It's military stuff m8"
>mfw

>>16449029
>goal is to do the minimum years of military service

You'll learn to. You'll have to piss really bad. Or you'll end up pissing yourself and get shit on by drill instructors.

It happened a lot when I was at Paris island.

No shame we had like 12 people in my platoon alone that pissed themselves.