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Falling in love, dealing with image problems.

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So, I've got an ostomy since more than 5 years ago and no girlfriend since. Now I'm in love, but she doesn't know about my ostomy. How to tell her? I myself feel like embarassed to speak about it, I've got some image problems with my body and the ostomy. Any advice?
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>>16439551
Get it revised
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>>16439555

Can't, it's a definitive ostomy. Short story, had bladder health issues, bladder was removed, ostomy created and now I live with a bag glued to it.
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>>16439551
I'm assuming you two haven't had sex then.

Look, you can tell her. You can. If she runs, then obviously it wouldn't have worked anyway.

However, based off the fact that you two have not had sex at all, or even seen each other naked, I would be hesitant. You have to tell her at some point, but when the timing is opportune. And if she loves you too, then she'll accept it.
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tell her about your poop bag and if she not cool wit it find someone who is
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>>16439596
OP said it was a bladder bag. But this exactly.

>>16439577

OP if it's something you have that you can't change then you shouldn't be embarassed about it. People really don't care about stuff that much.
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>>16439595

You assumed correctly. The question is, how to tell her? How to start this conversation? There's only an handful of people that know about my condition. I stayed distanced from having any kind of relation since the cirurgy because I fell into a depressive state caused by the change aspect of my body. Now I'm more and more attracted to this woman and opened to a relationship, but I'm afraid of her reaction knowing about my ostomy.
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>>16439613
Let things progress how they should.

Bring it up when you're comfortable enough with her to tell her. If you're concerned with telling her now, then don't. As the relationship continues, you'll be able to gauge whether or not she's someone you trust enough to divulge such personal information.

I really doubt that something like that would be a game breaker for most people. Especially for a significant other.
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What's an ostomy?
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>>16439632
Nowadays we're really good friends, share the same interests, I've invited her to go out some times and she said yes. Movie, dinner and other stuff. Nothing intimate thought. But I'm feeling closer to her and I feel there's a chance, I just have to reveal to her my condition, It's the only thing she doesn't know yet.

>>16439639
Well, it's an urostomy actually. Picture this, you've got your kidneys connected to your bladder and you pee through your penis. I had some issues with my bladder, had it removed. A hole was made on the right side of my belly and the kidneys reconnected there, so the pee goes out through it into a bag that's glued outside my belly. When the bag is full, all I've got to do is empty it just like you would pee.
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>>16439700
I see your predicament.

Tell her that you really want to be more than just friends.
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First of all op, don't panic. It isn't as end of the world as you think it is. I think most girls would find it kind of sweet that you were opening up and not a huge deal. I wouldn't care.

But you should start by telling her that you have to talk about something and then sit her down and start telling her about your health problems leading up to it and why you had to have the surgery.

When you sit her down to have serious talk her mind will instantly start racing and when you start talking about surgery she will assume the worst like you had your dick cut off and so when you explain the ostomy it will be like "oh that's totally workable". Okay she won't assume you cut your dick off, that was hyperbole but hopefully you know what I mean. When you have medium bad news the best thing to do is sit them down for a serious talk because the medium bad will be a huge relief to the MASSIVELY BAD they were panicking about.

And just do it. It's going to be hard but good or bad you've got to do it and if she leaves then fuck her, what a cunt. Come back to /adv/ and we can all call her a fucking cunt (and you a fag but w/e).

Good luck op. I hope it goes well.
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OP your situation isn't something people have experience with here, but I think you should just go for it. Don't put it off and stress yourself out. If shes a keeper she won't have a problem. I don't think I would have an issue with it if i really liked the person.

Also have you heard about the research with 3D printed organs and such? I remember reading and seeing videos of scientists recontructing stuff like bladders using pig organs. Might be something to consider/look forward to in the next couple of years bro.

http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/32409/title/Replacement-Parts/

Good luck, man. Stay positive.
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I'm a guy. But if I loved a girl, I wouldn't care if she didn't even have a lower half.
Thread posts: 14
Thread images: 2


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