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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.

>Frog
Also piss off.
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virgin
>>
Girls: If you had dicks instead of tits, would you suck them?
>>
>>16424566
>>16424689
from prev thread
>>
>>16424666
I've been a bit curious about this, but, when women use public restrooms, do they always use the paper toilet seat covers? As a guy, I only ever need to use one if I need to take a dump, but since girls need to sit down for all their business... I ask because it seems like a real hassle so I wonder how people deal with it. Do they hover?
>>
>>16424730
How about you just repost the question?
>>
>>16424738
ok

So one of my female friends has these sisters and a cousin who I met at the pub - I actually got one of the sisters numbers for whatever reason (can't remember - to go to someones house I think) but I didn't save it in my phone (no idea why - drunk). Then the cousin added me on Facebook and I thought nothing of it

but then turns out she dumped her bf (who is the complete opposite of me) via text, kept messaging me whilst i was at work, i said I was too busy to talk, still kept bugging me, had to ignore her because she literally would not stop leaving me alone - kept begging to meet up, then invited me selectively to an event, unfriended me, then messaged me again - then got back with her bf (who I'm now acquaintances / fb friends with), but then she dumped him again.

anyway she's added me on facebook again, I wanna accept it and be civil and cool but I don't want to repeat what happened. should I continue ignoring?

also would adding the other sisters on fb be a bad idea cause they seem pretty cool. i mean ideally i'd just accept the friend request and add 'em both but my gut feelin says do nothing
>>
>>16424731
Wait people actually use those things?
>>
>>16424731
I've never used one. I don't know about where you live, but public bathrooms are regularly clean here, so I've never really had to worry. I'm assuming you're talking about all public bathrooms including in places like the mall, right? Not just places like the park?
>>
>>16424782
Yeah, or office buildings. I mean, I use them even if the place looks clean, but I don't usually need to sit down to do my business, so I could only imagine how annoying that might be.

>>16424772
I at least double layer the things.
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>>16424797
What the fuck are you so paranoid about? It's just your ass, you're not eating off it.
>>
>>16424804
Maybe because I know people miss when they use the restroom? Why would I want to expose myself to gross stuff?
>>
>>16424810
Men, maybe. It's kind of hard for a girl to miss, and if she does, it's pretty obvious and you'd just move on to the next cubicle
>>
How do I get a girl to give me a hand job?

We're at the making out phase, but haven't groped yet.

We're both virgins too.
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>>16424823
Finger her first. Duh.
>>
>>16424823
Probably grope her? Or, in all seriousness, ask her if she wants to step the level up?

>>16424820
Fair enough.
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>>16424846

Last night I was kissing her very passionately, then started trailing my kisses to her neck and tenderly kissed and nibbled her there.

After that I then trailing my kisses down the V of her sweater, but stopped at the very bottom when there was no revealing skin left.

We stopped right there because she had to go, but I'm seeing her again to night and I plan getting real frisky in the back seat.
>>
Ladies, think back when you were seventeen. Say you had a boyfriend who's in college and really in love with you. You feel the same. You're together for five months and you've had sex every few weekeds. Then after a third or so pregnancy scare (and finding out you can't get an abortion), your boyfriend says he doesn't want to have sex again until you're 18 and can get birth control pills. Keep in mind you're still in the middle of the pregnancy scare and you haven't had your period. What would you do?
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>>16424991
>>
>>16424823

whats the point of a handjob?

you can jerk yourself off

handjobs are insulting, desu
>>
>>16424991
Girls under 18 can get BC for other issues, you know.
>>
>>16424991
Give bj's and wait til 18.
>>
>>16425031
Please elaborate. The reason she's waiting to be 18 to get BC is because she can't go alone to the doctor, and both of her parents are very conservative.
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>>16424991

how do you not realize you are being used

girls are so fucking stupid sometimes
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>>16425045
You can get BC for things like heavy flows, massive cramps, irregular periods etc. And do you really think her conservative parents will suddenly be okay with her having sex just because she's 18? Also yes, she can go to the doctor alone even if she's under 18. In most jurisdictions, 16 year olds are considered perfectly capable of making their own medical decisions without any consent required of their parents or guardians.
>>
Other thread didn't bother, so here goes:

1) Is it a turnoff when you have your own flat, but in your parents' house? (male, 23)

2) Do you care about a guy's activity on social media? Would you give a fuck if he doesn't use fb, twitter, etc.?
>>
>>16425066
We tried. She went to a gynecologist and they said she needed to be with her parents.
No, her parents won't magically be ok with it (although her dad has dropped many hints that he would be, once she's 18), but at least she can go to the doctor alone.
I'll see if we can get BC for the "other" symptoms. Thanks, I only knew about the irregular periods.
>>
What was your first time like?
Did you regret it, and if you did, do you still now?
>>
>>16425095
@girls
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>>16425093
You don't need to go to a gyno, your regular GP will do.
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>>16425095
Like getting stabbed with a knife in my cunt.
Yes, yes.
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>>16425077
>your own flat, but in your parents' house
I'm picturing an modern apartment block bursting out of a typical foursquare house. My only answer is "wat"
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>>16425077
>1) Is it a turnoff when you have your own flat, but in your parents' house? (male, 23)
Living in the basement is a turnoff, yes.

>2) Do you care about a guy's activity on social media? Would you give a fuck if he doesn't use fb, twitter, etc.?
Super odd in this day and age if he doesn't at least have a Facebook profile, even if he doesn't use it.
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>>16425105
U wot
Even then, I doubt they'll let her in without a parent or legal guardian. We'll see, though. I'll try and take her this weekend or the next (unless she's pregnant, in which case just kill me).
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>>16425111
As in, you have your own floor with kitchen, bath and everything for yourself.
Guess it sounds stupid, nevermind then.

>>16425118
Never said anything about basement. See above.

What's the difference between having an account but not using it and not having one, seriously. Then don't have one at all.
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>>16425120
What's so hard to believe?
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>>16425137
Well, if the gynecologist doesn't let her in alone because she's 17, why would a GP?
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>>16425154
GP? General practitioner? Are you saying a 17 year old would need parental permission to go and see a doctor about the flu or a sore back?
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Guys,
What do you buy a 50+ male? Dad's birthday is coming up and this time around I got no clue what to give him.
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>>16425207
A nice bottle of wine? Don't know.
An addition to his hobbies, something what he would like.
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>>16424755
anyone?
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It's not cheating if I date multiple women and none of them have asked to be exclusive right?
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>>16425312
Quite a lot of the time, exclusivity is implied depending on the situation. And you might be an asshole for leading them on regardless
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>>16425312
This sounds like something you tell yourself to justify your behaviors. I'm pretty sure you can tell if you're going serious with someone. I find it hard to be that you'll suddenly be all like "Even though we've been dating for 6 months you never said we're exclusive, how can you call all those dates meanwhile cheating?!"
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>>16425312
That what dating is, the precursor to a relationship. As long as you aren't in a relationship you can go on as many dates as you want. Some people might get pissy about it, but again dating isn't a relationship so if they want monogamy they need to bring it up.
>>
Hello, a girl i like i let borrow my sweater when we were out for drinks and she was cold.

She said she'd return it the night of but she hasn't even though i've seen her multiple times since. I haven't brought it up but basically how do i get the sweater back without killing my chances entirely ?

PS it's my fav sweater.
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>>16424729
No, too much work and I'm not flexible enough.

>>16424991
Use condoms and pull out until you're on bc but it sounds like he's using you. Get on birth control. There's literally no excuse for THREE pregnancy scares. That's just dumb.

>>16425346
Just ask for it, mention that she looked cute in it but its your favorite
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>>16425346
>Just yesterday I remembered that you still have that sweater I lent you [way back]™. When can I drop by and pick it up?
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>>16425346
She's masturbating to it right now, she doesn't want to return it. :^)
Buy a sweater specifically for her, wear it before giving it to her. Now she has something that makes her think of you and you could ask for your other sweater back.
Of course this only applies if you want to get your friendship somewhere.
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>>16425365
>>16425365
>Just ask for it, mention that she looked cute in it but its your favorite

should i do this or should i say its not mine and i need it back?
>>
I>>16424804
Yeah but somebody else is
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>>16425369
>>16425373
THIS IS SO CONFUSING

I just want my sweater back or for her to date me and then she can have it . I just dont want my fav sweater to RIP without a fight!

why do girls steal sweaters?
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>>16425384
>why do girls steal sweaters?
Perhaps she's one of those girls with a really messy home, she's forgotten it in a pile and right now it's lying there all covered in Cheetos.

That aside she's either genuinely forgotten it or is hoping that you'll use it as an excuse to drop by. I preferred to go with the latter since it'll naturally lead into you being able to just tell her to bring it the next time if you can't drop by (which gives you hints into how comfortable she feels around you).
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>>16425374
Why would you say it's not yours, wtf? Think about it, what excuse would you give to her if she runs into you out in public while you're wearing your favorite sweater that you stupidly said isn't yours? It's perfectly alright to ask for your things back when someone doesn't return them in a reasonable amount of time after borrowing them.
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>>16424666
Dear Femanons. I am currently feeling fucking befuddled.

>be me
>have GF of 4.5 years
>be interpreterfag
>friend tells me to help him and fly to Edinburgh for 3 days (not even intercontinental, I'm from Yurop)
>tell GF, hoping for a "good job, honey! You're really making a name for yourself!"
>instead
>she throws a fucking tantrum
>I'm talking HUGE
>her tantrums are usually "Don't talk to me" and about 30 minutes later it's okay
>this time, she tells me she "needs time to cope with this" and "it's your life, Anon, you know, we might break up in the future and then you'll regret it."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I'M FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

She is scared for me, but she went all "I'm fucking pissed, just leave me alone for a while and I'll get it out of my system" shit.

I'm fucking mad, people. I hate when she does this shit, but damn, she thinks that it's all my fault and that she has every reason to be angry. But at the same time she tells me about her "Erasmus program" to go abroad for 3 FUCKING MONTHS.

Please, Femanons, tell me what the fuck is wrong.
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>>16425409

shes on her period probably

turns girls into super saiyan cunts
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Today I'm gonna nut up and as a qt out to lunch/coffee/whatever. I'm fully expecting to get turned down so how do I make the rest of the semester not awkward as fuck between us. The uni class is pretty small and she sits literally right next to me. Do I just pretend it's no big deal?

I usually don't have to deal with this since when I get rejected I don't have to deal with that person for a while or ever again. Maybe I'm overthinking this idk. Helb.
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>>16425417
She's not, her period ended a couple days ago.
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>>16425399
We see each other often enough that it's not an issue for me to drop by?

>>16425400
What's the reasonable amount? Because she said she'd return it the following day and it's been a week since then.
>>
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Am I going after a lost cause?

Bi girl I was planning on asking out for some time said she was dating this Canadian (by that I mean she's in Canada and has no plans on moving here in america) girl over the internet. I don't know how to react to this at all, she does not know I like her, so I don't blame her. I don't know how I am feeling right now about this. Part of me is still saying I should still go for it, but another part is saying don't bother.

Should I cut my losses and forget about her or still go for it?
>>
Girls :

I've seen that the whole "kekolding" fetish seem to be quite popular on 4chan and when i browse the "slut thread" on /soc/, some girls are willing to try if the guy ask, but some of you are really interested in humiliating your bf ?
i mean, not just accept the request but WANT to do it ?

i'm not a kekold, i just find the success of this fetish quite curious.
>>
>>16425430
>We see each other often enough that it's not an issue for me to drop by?
The fuck does this mean? Did you want this bitch or not?
>>
>>16425421

well then she's just being irrational

women dont always make sense
>>
Why do all my friends seem to get laid or girlfriends and i don't

I'm a pretty happy guy but I feel like I'm missing something and I don't know what to do.
>>
Is there a decent way to icebreak with people at clubs beyond "can I buy you a drink?"
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>>16425440
But fuck, man/girl, it may put my relationship on the line.
>>
>>16425095
Bumping this question.
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>>16425409
There isn't, by any chance, an anniversary or birthday falling during those three days, is there?
>>
What to say if crush ask if you think another girl is pretty?
>>
my girlfriend has this stupid fucking girl friend that won't fuck off
she's constantly ringing her and needs advice on the most banal shit in life/how to manipulate her beta orbiters/boo hoo emotional support all the time
I joke that she can't live without my gf but this is literally getting annoying, is there anything I can do?
>>
>>16425537
Yeah, leave your girlfriend if you can't handle this. She's allowed to have friends, even if you don't like them
>>
She's replying to me less and less. I'm assuming she's somewhat busy but it shows She's been online. When she does reply she's Nice.

Do I keep perservering or give up and curl into a ball and cry?
>>
How do I get this bitch to stop fucking around? Here's what happened. Keep in mind that she's a waitress, but I've caught her flirting with customers while on the job before:

>really put a lot of effort in this one girl for the first 2 weeks of dating
>kinda come off as semi desperate, but idc because I really like her
>on the third week, I ask if she wants to make it official and exclusive
>her: "umm... No, sorry anon, I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship just yet. Maybe soon!"
>me: "um, ok, so you're fine with me dating other women since you don't want to be official, right?"
>her: "um, no, that's not what I said"
>me: "then why not make it exclusive if you don't want me to see other people? If you want me to wait for you to be ready, then I don't want you flirting with other guys at all"
>her: "anon that's not fair, I do it for the tips. I really like you but I just don't know if I'm ready to commit, that's all"

Etc etc. Went in circles for a while.

What do?
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>>16424666
Hey guys,

How would you prefer someone to turn down your date offer while still leaving a door open for the future?
>>
>>16425662
What
Like, not now?
Be honest. Tell them you still need time and not that you're too busy fucking Chad at the moment.
Ask to stay in contact and make the first move as soon as you feel ready for dating them.
Otherwise they'll think that you'll never get together and start looking somewhere else.
The future is uncertain, there's no way to be sure that you'll be interested in them in a year or two. So instead of waiting for nothing for a long time, they'll move on and forget about you.
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>>16425431
Bumping for this
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>>16425662

uh

why string someone along like that? rejecting them is only going to kill their confidence in a relationship.

no guy wants to be the side bitch. or plan b.
>>
>>16425192
Alright, I checked my laws and you can go to the doctor alone as a minor.
What you can't do is pick up the medication as a minor.

>>16425662
Depends, how long is the future? If it's longer than three months, and if they aren't really that into you, don't do that. They'll move on. They're supposed to sit and wait until you give them the treat?

Nah, like >>16425711 said: there's no way to be certain you'll ever be interested in them. You could actually mean it, when you say you want to be with them in the future. But what if something happens in a week, or a month, or a year that changes your mind?
>>
>>16425738
Reread my post.
Hell, and even then, three months is a long time. A month, even. You know what? Just don't do it.
>>
>>16425711
>>16425726
>>16425738
Projecting if I've ever seen it desu senpai.
It's my soon-to-be-former therapist. He's wonderful but I'm not looking to date right now. he obviously knows the reasons why. I don't want to string him along I just need time, maybe two months, to sort some shit out. I'm working 50+hr weeks and in the middle of a move.

I was thinking of saying something like
>Anon, I think you're really great but I have a lot going on so I'm not looking to date at the moment
>>
>>16425853

here is what you do.

dont give the impression you are interested now, do that when you are able to commit.

otherwise you are just a cock tease.
>>
>>16425095
A bit awkwards but nice. No, still with him 6 years later.
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>>16425862
This helps a lot. Cheers.
Just in case, would what I had planned to say be alright though?
>>
>>16425903

as a guy I would be kinda let down that I got rejected.

thats why you shouldn't imply you are interested. even if you wanted to be together later, they might resent you for shooting them down.

but if you dont shoot them down...there is no issue, right?
>>
>>16425630
Th-this is bait, right?
>>
>>16425853
It's my soon-to-be-former therapist. He's wonderful but I'm not looking to date right now.

Erm... Isn't this against most ethical codes? Like... can't he be suspended or lose his license if the governing board finds out?
>>
>>16425630
...
Stop having your head up your ass?

If you work as a waiter/waitress/bartender, you flirt and bend over backwards for more money. That's most of where your ACTUAL paycheck comes from (like legit, they're allowed to pay you less than minimum wage, because they assume tips are factored in to your paycheck) and it applies to both genders.
>>
>>16425964
So? If she doesn't want to commit, and doesn't want me to see other people, why the fuck is it unreasonable for me to not want her to flirt with other guys? If she would commit, I wouldn't care. If she was cool with me seeing other people and didn't want to commit, I wouldn't care.

Get your head out of YOUR ass
>>
>>16425950
We were introduced by a third party long before he became my therapist. We were attracted to each other then. Now our sessions are almost over. It's fair game.
>>
Would you rather have a dude with nice hair who can't keep it up in bed, or a bald dude who is a beast in bed?
>>
why do girls friendzone me when I wanna date them, but when I get a girlfriend and I wanna befriend them they are generally cold.
>>
>>16426023
Depends on the personality. There's more than one way to skin a cat.
>>
>>16425981

Because it's literally a part of her job to be nice and borderline flirtatious to her customers. It's how she gets paid more than $2.13 an hour (If you're in the U.S., the national minimum wage is $7.50 an hour. If you're a waiter/waitress though, it's $2.13 an hour. Everything else you make comes straight from tips.)

You're trying to fuck with her livelihood after only knowing her for 3 weeks.

Her ability to make a living >>>>>>>> your 3 week relationship.
>>
>>16424731
>people saying they don't use them

What the actual fuck. Yes of course I use them every time if I have to use a public restroom. It takes a second to put it down and it helps keep you from getting anyone else's bodily fluids near your genitals. If there aren't any, I put down toilet paper or hover.
>>
>>16425014
I fucking love giving my SO handies and he loves getting them
>>
>>16424991
>dating before out of high-school
>teen sex
>dating a guy way older
>having sex after only a few months of dating
>having completely unprotected sex

I can't imagine any of that because I was never that stupid
>>
>>16424666
Girl here, hoping for input from the guys.
If a girl proposed an infidelity clause to your relationship/marriage, specifying that once every two years, you (and subsequently she) could sleep with another person just once, with advanced noticed but no permission required. Protection is mandatory and disease testing for 1, 3, and 6 months prior. How would you feel? How would you change the proposal?

I'm considering using this not to satisfy my own desires but as a failsafe against infidelity from my so. With a stipulation that if they violate the terms I leave with handsome compensation. Thoughts?
>>
How do you get over someone that seems so perfect for you?

Another long distance that can't work problem right here.
>>
>>16424666
So I was at a party(kind of) the other night and was trying to hook up with a girl. She revealed to me at some point that she was 15 (I am 18). I still pursued the hook up but it didn't end up happening for a multitude of reasons. Would that have been fucked up? I can't really tell and have been feeling guilty about it even though nothing happened.
>>
>>16425077
I don't have any social media either so that's a huge plus
>>
>>16426037
If you have a girlfriend they clearly don't all friendzone you? They would do that if they're not interested in you.

I wouldn't want to become too close to a guy who's already in a relationship for various reasons.
>>
>>16425095
Bumping this again.
>>
>>16426075
I think you're stupid, childish, and weird.
>>
>>16425437
None of that appeals to me at all and to a big turn off
>>
>>16426095
But you are okay with being friends with someone who wanna dates you?

I'm not socially retarded in that I can gauge their response. But I'm really only hoping for being friends
>>
>>16426023
Bald guy absolutely no contest. Nice hair isn't going to make up for a nonexistent sex life.
>>
>>16426112
There are tangible benefits to being friends with someone who has feelings for you. It's a scumbag move but I can see the appeal.

And they're hoping they won't develop feelings for someone who's already in a relationship. That's aside from how pure your intentions may be. Not saying that it's right, just explaining.
>>
>>16426042
I'm not trying to fuck with anything. I'm giving her a choice.

And I'm sure she can make good tips without making guys think they can fuck her.
>>
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FOR GUYS AND GIRLS
>be me
>Start talking to QT on tinder
>we agree to meet up this week
>She tells me after we set up the date that she is deaf
>i still agree to the date


This girl is a babe and im not really bothered by the whole deaf thing because she says she can read lips. My only question is how the hell do i approach this date and also how do i communicate with a deaf person? i have never met a deaf person before.

Does anyone here have experience with deaf people? Is there anything i should do to make it easier for her to read my lips?
>>
Ladies: I probably have like a 4 inch dick (the base is surrounded by fat, without which I would be bigger). Is that too small?
>>
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>>16426175

4 inches can still get a girl off but it does look small sorry to hear this

>the base is surrounded by fat, without which I would be bigger

Lose weight fatty. Being fat is probably worse then having a small dick. also i doubt you losing weight will help your size
>>
>>16426175
You'd be fine for some women, and insufficient for others. Unfortunately it's a personal thing.

I'm personally fine with 4 inches.
>>
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>>16426196

> insufficient for others

At what size would be universally accepted by women.

i-is 5.5x6 a good size? i have always been told i was thick but i always wish i was longer
>>
How do you properly greet a woman. I talk to to my crush at least once everyday and every time I say "Hi, anon" or "Hey" it turns out sounding so absurd and high pitched. I have no problems going through with the rest of the convo, I only have issues with the initial greeting.
>>
>>16425437
I can't respect men with a kekhold fetish and I find it quite gross. I have a hard time being intimate with somebody I don't care about though. I'm okay with humiliating my partner by other means if they are into that. I'd feel gross having sex with another person though.


>>16426212
Unfortunately I can't speak for all but that would be close to ideal for me, especially with the girth.
>>
>>16426172
>I'm not trying to fuck with anything. I'm giving her a choice.
>And I'm sure she can make good tips without making guys think they can fuck her

You're giving her an ultimatum:

Your 3 week relationship of casual dating, or her way of making a living.

Regardless of what methods she currently uses (I'm pretty sure you're exaggerating, even if you're not, it's irrelevant) what her experience has taught her is that this currently the most effective way. Why the fuck should she compromise that for some guy she's known 3 weeks?

You're forcing her in to a corner where she can only pick two options. Some random fucking guy who she's not sure she wants to be with, or the way she's learned to make a living over the last X weeks/months/whatever. YOU are the one that's framing the choices like that, not her.

You have neither a right, a rapport, or a justifiable reason to make any demands of her.

You've known her for three fucking weeks. Jesus Christ -.-
>>
>>16426235
You're making this really dramatic for no fucking g reason, just like her. Girl right?

I'm giving her 4 choices, one of which ends in a breakup if she doesn't like the other 3. It's not that fucking dramatic or hard. I just want her to make up her mind already.

1) Make it official

2) Don't make it official and let me see other people while we still date

3) Don't make it official but stop flirting with other guys

4) End things now

It's not that fucking complicated.
>>
>>16426273

Dude actually.

Remember, you're the one who's making an ultimatum.
>>
>>16426289
Beta then. Same thing.
>>
>>16424666
>>Would you date a virgin?
>As long as they aren't insecure about it

This should say, "Some would, some wouldn't. Talk to 'prospect' to find out"
>>
>>16426326

That's also true, but a spastic, insecure virgin with a complex is a completely and totally different thing than a well adjusted one that gives no fucks.
>>
>>16426297
OOOooooh. now I get it, you're just an asshole. now it all makes sense. I'm surprised you're even

Do you honestly not see the difference between being a flirtatious waitress, and dating other people?
>>
>>16426079
bump
>>
>>16425853
>Projecting if I've ever seen it desu senpai.

Isn't that what this thread is for? You ask people of the opposite gender to get their view on a certain situation?
Well that's my view on that situation. Maybe I shouldn't have said "they". But my point still stands, what if you change your mind? It's kind of a shitty move to keep someone in that limbo when there's no guarantee you'll eventually want to be with them.
>>
>>16426073
>Way older
Just 12 months
>Few months of dating
We were flirting with each other since the day we met, about 5 months before officially being together. We've gone out several times before that.
>completely unprotected sex
I have never even dreamed of doing that. Nope. Just paranoia, you could say?
>>
>>16426413
You just measured a length of time greater than or equal to 1 year. Either you're a new parent, your you're too young for everything.
>>
>>16425853
>Projecting
M8 how would one project their own opinion?
If you don't like the answer sure, but "projecting" is just incorrect.
Not even one of those guys you replied to.
>>
>>16426427
Honestly 1 year is nothing.
>>
So I went grocery shopping today, and I made eye contact with a girl as I was walking into the store / she was getting out of her car. We went in different entrances, but I saw her at the other end of the store staring off in my direction. Few minutes later, she's down the same aisle I am and just casually stops behind me. I got what I needed, moved on. As I was checking out, I saw her again and she made eye contact. Is it likely that she wanted me to talk to her, or am I reading too much into things?
>>
Girls: When is it too late to make a move?
>>
>>16425853
>he obviously knows the reasons why
Then say you want to work out that stuff first. 99% of the time that just says you want to have a backup option otherwise. People aren't really projecting, rather you gave insufficient context.
>>
>>16426468
Word of advice: never.
>>
I just want to talk with a sociopath, what do I do?
>>
>>16426479
Find a sociopath?
>>
>>16426488
But how? I stay on these boards because usually some lurk them but that hasn't been working out lately.
>>
To females: How much of a turnoff are moles and warts?

Also a question to both males and females: Should I get them removed? It's not like they're WMD's or some shit, but they can be annoying sometimes.
>>
>>16426509
Moles are pretty natural. Most people have them.

Warts will eventually go away on their own, but if it bothers you the treatment isn't too difficult.
>>
How big a deal is significant hair loss? So far my current plan is to just finish my fitness goals and get a buzzcut, but I'm absolutely horrible with this kind of stuff.
>>
>>16426173
I personally have a very similar experience to you anon, except my deaf girl wanted to lose her virginity.
She has cochlear implants so it works like a normal relationship, just be sweet and don't emphasise the whole relationship on her being deaf.
Make sure to use your body language a lot, it's a lot more indicative of what you're saying than you think.
Be patient and she'll love you for it, good luck!
>>
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>>16426595
Here's a very accurate summary. You seem to be on the right track.
>>
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>>16426725
I miss my hair already
It was one of the things my ex's always commented on
>>
Posting from last thread:

Girls: I started dating this girl last Thursday and I don't have a ton of relationship experience. How long should I wait before trying to kiss her?
>>
>>16426791
You shouldn't wait. People who are attracted to one another kiss.
>>
Heres one for the femanons; what do you persoanlly want in a guy that isnt already an obvious/generally saught after thing (i.e. good looks, smart, funny) think specifically whats your "thing" when it comes to guys?
>>
>>16425531
No fucking way, THAT I remember.
>>
>>16426909
A guy who just understands how I feel and acknowledges it. Like if I'm stressed from work because my coworker is a bitch, I want him to get what that's like and have my back on those feelings. I don't need him to offer suggestions or be my rock or have no fucking idea what it's like. I just want a sincere "Yeah, I know how much that sucks."
>>
>>16426886
How does one go about this? I'm not a virgin, and as such I've obviously kissed girls before, but it's been a while, and in my head the circumstances are all kinda fuzzy and difficult for me to realize the events that lead up to when the physical stuff actually started. I've only been on 1 date in the past 2 years, and frankly despite dating girls before, it was the only "date" I've been on where it was the first time going out with the person. At no point did it ever occur to me that it was at all appropriate to instigate a kiss.

Maybe that was just because of the lack of chemistry, but kissing, making out, sex, has all been pretty natural with the girls I knew and was comfortable with. Is this just a thing where when I'm on a date it will feel right, or am I going to have to fucking learn to get used to this shit too? It's so fucking annoying trying to get better at something, where you're just repeatedly not prepared for the next step, it's like playing some shitty memorization platformer where as soon as you get past 1 part, it kills you in a stupid way and sends you back to the beginning to waste your time getting back to the part you don't know yet so you can start learning that one to get to the next one that you're unprepared for.
>>
>>16426954
You flirt with her, she flirts back, that's your green light. You keep flirting and smiling, lock eyes and lean in. It's much easier than you're making it out to be. I'm starting to wonder whether she needs to stop dating you honestly.
>>
>>16426966
lol, I'm not dating anybody right now, it's okay. I mean we only went on 1 date, and it was okay, but we were both shy and awkward (I promise it wasn't just me, I'm hard enough on myself to tell you if it was). It might have worked out better if we kept at it and got past being weird, but... you know... nah.

What, you thought I've been dating this girl for 2 years and we still haven't kissed? Jeeze anon, have SOME faith.
>>
>>16426990
My worry wasn't about time. It's that if I ever heard a guy say the last few sentences of what you wrote, I'd cancel our plans and never speak to him again. It's neurotic to the point of setting off alarm bells.
>>
>>16426997
I'm not allowed to be frustrated about struggling to improve my social skills?
>>
>>16426954
>It's so fucking annoying trying to get better at something, where you're just repeatedly not prepared for the next step, it's like playing some shitty memorization platformer where as soon as you get past 1 part, it kills you in a stupid way and sends you back to the beginning to waste your time getting back to the part you don't know yet so you can start learning that one to get to the next one that you're unprepared for.

Yo.... As a dude, you're fucking doing it wrong.

I've noticed this is a trend in a lot of other guys, especially ones on this board. For some reason they get fixated on you do X + Y to get Z result. It's not procedural or formulaic like that. It's all by flow.

That's part of what makes every romantic encounter unique and exciting. If you try and boil it down, you're going to clip away what makes the magic. Just shut your brain off and have fun.

inb4 ICANTDOTHAT
>>
>>16427004
I'm not allowing or disallowing you anything. I'm just telling you my reaction to the way you express yourself.
>>
>>16426909
I love dorkiness. My boyfriend's one of those people who are generally pretty smart, but then they have lapses in intelligence where they say or do something stupid. I find it adorable, it's one of my favourite things about him.
>>
>>16427012
Assuming you're the more normal one here (seems pretty likely), you are telling me that that's not a socially appropriate way to think. And hey, you're probably right, and I wouldn't complain like that in real life, though it is how I feel, and am perfectly fine not faking things on an anonymous imageboard when I'm trying to get help.

>>16427011
it's not so much "ICANTDOTHAT" as I don't know how to do that in the actual situations. Obviously not everybody is compatible for every kind of relationship. I get that I can get a date with a girl, and do X, and it won't work, while if I get a date with some other girl, X is perfect (not to imply that doing exactly the same thing on every date to eventually find the girl who solves the equation is a good idea, and is pretty much the antithesis to what you're saying). Not everybody has that skill that lets them navigate situations like that and just 'go with the flow' as it were. If I were to just shut my brain off in a situation with somebody I didn't know, I would literally sit there catatonic, because I never developed the necessary skills to interact with new people reflexively like regular people seem to. Think about if somebody asked you to solve a simple math question, but one complicated enough that it required a little bit of written work, and then partway into solving it they dumped a bucket of spiders on you.
>LOL WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T SOLVE IT?! IT'S JUST 138*18!!
>>
>>16427107
You avoid screwing up by gauging their reaction. Maybe you lean in for a kiss and see how they respond. Pulling away? That's a negative. Closing the eyes? That's a positive. Just pay attention to how they respond. It's exactly the same when you're having sex.

FYI I did just solve that in my head, no guarantees with the spiders though.
>>
Guys:

What can I do if I am not the type majority of men are attracted to (physically)?

I am not fat or anything but look quite ethnic in a slavic country where most men are into slavic-looking girls (not that I can blame them for that), usually blonde or redheaded.
It seems impossible to find someone who will actually dig my type.
>>
>>16427158
What do you mean by ethnic? Are you Asian? Latin? Indian? Be more specific.
>>
>>16427107

*sigh*

I feel like I keep posting this story here

>I grew up, cripplingly shy. To the point where the idea ordering food or answering doors terrified me because I'd have to deal with a stranger.

>Hit college, got sick of it, decided to change.

>I forced my self to do the tiniest of things, like maintain eye contact, smile, fix my posture. Then I started escalating to doing bigger things like speaking up to ask questions, introduce myself to neighbors, shake peoples hands. Then I started going to parties, going to restaurant bars after work and start a conversation with total strangers, and asking women out. Bit by bit i realized everyone's exactly the same.

>I FORCED myself to develop and do things that terrified me and intentionally put myself in embarrassing situations, so I could learn to grow.

>I definitely absolutely failed a few times, and in fact, one of my biggest failures was my biggest point of development. I met a girl who genuinely inspired me, and became pretty close friends with her over a few months. One day, I decided to take a massive risk to put myself 100% out there to her in a way I'd never dared come close to before. It resulted in a moment of total joy, followed by soul crushing rejection. After that I felt instantly liberated. I lost all semblance of shame, anxiety, fear, or embarrassment when it came to any kind of social situation forevermore.

TL;DR: This shit ain't hard coded in to you. It's a learned skill like any other, and you need to work at it until it becomes effortless.

Don't make excuses. Just act.
>>
>>16427164
Arabic (partly but it shows)
>>
>>16427158

Live your life? People with genuinely attractive personalities will always have people attracted to them.

Hard to tell you anything else more specific because different areas have different standards for what they consider beautiful.
>>
Girls:

What makes you reject a guy most of the time? Are you flattered when a guy asks you out? Ive never asked a girl on a date and im figuring I gotta start doing this shit at some point.

Whats your ideal way of a guy asking you out?
>>
>>16427173
I know but I am sick of meeting guys who will openly say I am not their type " but they can make an exception", that they'd like "some change to spice up dating" or date guy who will go on and on about how redheads are best ever: it gets annoying after a while.

Lets just say that in my arena most men are attracted to mentioned type
>>
>>16427158
Not much more that I can say that >>16427173 didn't already beat me to the punch on. S long as you do you, SOMEONE will find you attractive. Even if you don't fit the profile of what the majority of men in your are are into in you particular region of wherever. And if it bothers you that much, and if you can afford it, a change of scenery could also help.
>>
>>16427177
>What makes you reject a guy most of the time?
I'm not attracted to him, or I don't know him well enough.

>Are you flattered when a guy asks you out?
Kind of?

>Whats your ideal way of a guy asking you out?
Just asking me, I guess. Not a fan of elaborate gestures
>>
>>16425095
Bumping this one last time.
>>
>>16427167
Fuck, I wish I just still had friends. I could always talk to people fine if somebody normal would just initiate the conversation. But talking to a stranger out of the blue is so beyond a foreign concept to me that to me it literally sounds like you're asking me to jump to the moon.

Look, I know I'm wrong, and if I were any good at being a human my response would be "should I try now?" but that's just not the way it is.
>>
>>16427186

That's just the world of dating. It can be a grind, and you have to just keep pushing forward.

My girlfriend and I both met having both been in the active dating scene for a while, both of us starting to become pretty sick of it. I remember towards the end of our first date she actually said, "After so many frogs, finally a prince"

Even so, she's mentioned before that I'm not at all what she was expecting when we first started dating me.

Everyone starts somewhere with certain pre-conceptions, and you either move forward from that, or keep looking until you find someone who you can with.
>>
>>16427199

Having started out more socially reclusive than you, and having actually done something about it, you get absolutely no sympathy from me if you want to just sit there and whine, "woe is me".
>>
>>16427214
>I used to be shy
>I started out worse than you
bro you don't know what you're talking about. yeah I've had girlfriends and been laid before, but I bet you that didn't happen for me until after the age you became a socialite. You fixed yourself in fucking ez-mode college where you're forced to be around new people every 4 months. You lived the dream everybody gets told about how "it'll all change when you get to college".
You're not wrong, but don't fucking tell me about how you climbed farther than I have to, you have no idea.
>>
>>16427206
Thanks, I guess many people have bad time in dating.
It's been almost 3 years during which I am struggling to get any dates and haven't had anyone who would be actually interested in anything longer (except for dating sites but those places are nasty and full of crazies, so I had to quit).
Compared to my friends with who get asked out roughly every week or so, I feel quite inadequate.
It though there are some tips to boost my chances.
>>16427189
Thanks, but any small tips would be welcome
>>
>>16427224

I started working on it when I hit college. I didn't get anything approaching normal 'til years after.

That girl I mentioned, I think I was maybe 23 or 24 at the time, and it had noting to do with college. She was my first kiss. After that, I took some time to reassess myself, and at 24, started the dating scene in earnest. My first girlfriend was at 26.

Keep making excuses though.
>>
>>16427241
Alright, let's try this instead. How about instead of telling me all about how awesome you are, you give me an exercise that I'm capable of performing right now, at 3:30 am on a Wednesday, that will help me get started on my path to not being a loser, and I'll go do it provided it's not illegal.

Don't forget that I'm figuratively retarded and need everything spelled out for me.
>>
>>16426335
Yeah, but that has nothing to do with virginity.

>A spastic, insecure *insert trait here* with a complex is completely and totally different than a well adjusted one that gives no fucks.

That statement is just true for anything.
>>
>>16427278

Your problem isn't that you'e retarded, it's that you don't want to do anything about it if it means getting out of your comfort zone.

Even literal, medically diagnosed and disabled autistic people can learn to improve their social skills.

You're just sitting their saying it's impossible and too hard.

Go to a bar. Sit down. Try to have a conversation.
>>
>>16427288
>>A spastic, insecure *insert trait here* with a complex is completely and totally different than a well adjusted one that gives no fucks.
>That statement is just true for anything.

I think that was the entire point.
>>
>>16427294

not him but how do you find a good bar to go to?

I just think it would be awkward by yourself.
>>
>>16427294
Can't do a bar right now, nothing's open (I checked), I can do Starbucks, it's the only other sociable place I know that would be open right now, and waiting till tonight isn't an option.
>>
>>16426075
Would nope the fuck out

>>16427158
Find someone who finds you attractive. If the majority of men don't find your type attractive it's gonna take some time but you'll get there eventually.

I'm from Eastern/Northern Europe and I'd totally date an Arabic girl.
>>
>>16427298
They were relating to virginity specifically, I'm saying it doesn't need to be singled out like that.

So it's better to just say, "Talk to them about it." That's the only way to know.
>>
>>16427303

Best way to find a good bar is to just go out, order a drink, and take in the atmosphere. You'll probably get a read on the room, the vibe, and the type of people that frequent it within your first ten minutes.

Best places to go alone are probably local dive bars, sports bars, pool halls, cigar bars, and breweries. Just grab a drink, sit at the bar, and watch a game, talk to the people around you (be it about the game, or whatever else).
>>
>>16427344

but isnt it awkward...by yourself?

i'd feel like people were staring or talking about me. not that im important but yeah.
>>
Where can I find crazy qts who were abused heavily by their own parents as children?

And before anyone judges (like some mean girl on soc) I just want someone who understands, someone who relates and can tolerate my depression and possible PTSD. And I'd do the same for her.

I don't care how much of a sad love it is...
>>
>>16427345

Nope. Lots of people go out to just unwind and relax, especially at local dive bars.

One of my favorite memories at a bar happened because it was valentines, and I had some time to kill til my date was ready, so I popped in to a nearby place for a drink and ended talking to half the brewery, getting free drinks from the bar, and having a blast.

My best friend and I also like people watching a lot when we go out (same thing with my gf actually, but... I'll just say she's a lot less... amiably natured than my gf). I think the only time we ever notice anyone alone, is when they're someone we've met before that's given us a bad impression. I.E. The dude who went on a rant about how being gay isn't real, or the dude who kept awkwardly kept trying to hit on her after I told him he had no chance because she's gay).

If you become a regular somewhere, other regulars will usually at least give a hey what's up.
>>
>>16427357
Can't recommend that anon, dating crazy isn't a guarantee to help you find someone understanding. You'd be better off looking for a normie.
>>
Whats a non creepy way to talk to a girl you barely know? I see her on campus everyday, and she's a friend of a friend. I've just never been in any place where I've gotten to talk to her for any good length of time.

Is a casual "Hey you're X, Y's friend, right?" enough?
>>
>>16427357
What does it matter that they're equally damaged as you. Getting into a relationship shouldn't be a game of trying to find the most fucked up person you can manage just because you're fucked up yourself. It's entirely possible for people to be understanding and and tolerant of your problems without going through them themselves.

Tbh senpai it might even be better for you to find someone who isn't as fucked up as you're to balance things out a bit.
>>
>>16427396
I did that once with a girl who had mutual friends with me. Got to hear all about how I was a weirdo later on.

Literally just asked her what time a class started that day because the schedule was weird that day, said thanks and left. By all accounts she was a generally really nice person.
>>
>>16427396

Honestly... there's no real way you tell you how to act or what's ok... The reason doesn't matter as much as your attitude.

You could have the most plausible reason in histoy, but if you come off as a creep or desperate, or awkward, you're still going to come off as a creep.

The opposite is true. You could have the most arbitrary reason, like you like their shoes or something, and if you treat it casually and act friendly, it probably will be taken well.
>>
>>16427441
Got a question for the girls about this. Why is that the case? Isn't it blatantly obvious that the nervous awkward guy is just scared? Why does he get labeled a creep?
>>
>>16427452
Sometimes we have a bad day and don't want to be approached, even by people we know. Don't pretend you don't have those days too
>>
>>16427452

Not a girl, but uhh... I'm pretty sure things like r9k, Seung-hui cho, and Elliot Roger are part of why.
>>
>>16427460
But that's not what you said. You said If you're awkward you're going to come off as creepy.
>>
>>16427469
I'm not that person. I just assumed you wanted to know why some days we'll react differently than others
>>
>>16426084
Neat, I've only ever met one girl which refused to get an fb account.
Now for the hardest part:
where to you think one can meet people like you?
Social media aside, do you still participate in social gathering like parties, going to clubs/bars and such?
I'd like to know whether not using social media and getting shitfaced at clubs is mutually exclusive to you.
>>
Girls, if I told you I was in the air force would you be more attracted or less? I hear from both sides. That's why I never tell anyone. I'm just curious.
>>
>>16427516
Absolutely, only manlets can preheat my oven.
>>
>>16427368
>>16427399
Being unstable is obviously a complete red flag for normal girls, and they could only try to understand if I have a (rare) bad day.
>>
>>16427523
I don't know what that even means.
>>
To women: Is being poor and/or jobless a gigantic turnoff?
>>
>>16427557
I was making a joke by using several different stereotypes.

Don't worry about that sort of thing though, seriously. Being in the airforce isn't something to be self-conscious about.
>>
Live on east coast got a cali job offer, taking it.

Have a gf of one year. She's 27 I'm 25. Love each other. Want to ask her to come, but having doubts. Friends say it may limit my experience there as well as adversely effect her career. She said early on in the relationship that she wants to put her career first, before a boyfriend.

What do?
>>
>>16427605

Limit your experience here? What the hell does that even mean? Do they California is supposed to be some mythical place where hot women throw themselves at you left and right? Because being a native... it's not. SoCal (orange county/Los Angeles/etc) or NorCal (SanFran/Silicon valey/etc) btw?

But honestly, asking someone to move literally across the country and potentially put their own plans on hold is kind of a massive step; especially if you've been going out for less than two years. The answer will probably be no.

If you really do care about her, you should still ask her, because that's what you do in a relationship, and who knows.
>>
>>16427631
Socal san diego area. Yeah I know. I'm not really struggling with if she'll say yes but if I should ask
>>
>>16427635
"I'm taking a job in L.A. I know how important your career is so I would never ask you to drop everything and come with me. I just want you to know that the option is available."

Or something like that.
>>
Guys, do you ever want to talk about your ex?

My boyfriend was with his high school sweetheart for ten years, engaged for seven of them. She was fake as hell in public so I always thought they were the perfect couple, turns out she was an abusive ice queen.

We've been together for two and a half years and he's recently starting to defrost. He seems happy, he is affectionate and he trusts me to tell him the truth. I just have so many questions about how she treated him, but I don't know whether to leave this in the past or discuss it with him now that time is healing wounds.
>>
>>16427654
That's a fair approach. I just need to be introspective a bit and figure out if I want her there
>>
>>16427659
Unless it's a case like yours where the ex is cray cray I'd wonder why you'd want to hear about her. But don't really see a problem in talking about it.
>>
>>16427659
If he wants to talk he'll bring it up.
>>
>>16427680
Part of me wants to know what sort of damage was done to make him close up like that; I guess you could just outright label it as morbid curiosity. The other part is to make sure that I don't ever do anything like that to him. I'm younger than the both of them and she was my rolemodel, I want to make sure I don't become what she was like behind closed doors.

>>16427690
You're probably right. It doesn't help that he jokingly refers to her as 'She Who Must Not Be Named' any time she's referenced in conversation, so that's probably a sign not to push it.
>>
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/adv/, today I meet a girl I've known for quite a long time. Would buying flowers be a good gesture? I want to buy something like a single rose, just for the sake of it. Wouldn't it look awkward?
>>
>>16427696
I totally understand why you'd want to know. I'd want to know just how bad it was if I was ever in that kind of a situation. It's just a hard subject to bring up and most of the time not really appropriate.
>>
>>16427704
Hella awkward unless this is the type of thing you do/did regularly.
>>
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>>16427708
But we didn't meet for ages and the last time we did we had a terrible argument so here's that
>>
>>16427704
Generally, pretty much, it's only appropriate to gift someone flowers if:

a.) It's their birthday/graduation/etc.
b.) They're your girlfriend/mother/best friend
c.) It's valentines day


And I say this as someone who basically sells flowers for a living.
>>
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>>16427717
So no, even if I maybe wanted her to be my girlfriend? :c

Oh well thanks anyways anon
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>>16425365
>Use condoms and pull out until you're on bc but it sounds like he's using you. Get on birth control. There's literally no excuse for THREE pregnancy scares. That's just dumb.

I know it's a late ass reply, I went to sleep and then did a lab test. Anyway, I'm the guy in that relationship. We have consistently used condoms, but her period (although regular), once we started having sex, has been delayed twice, this time would be the third. The main reason I was asking is because I wanted to know what some girls think about a guy saying "no more sex until you're 18" in the context of that relationship. She'll be 18 in 6 months, and we've been having sex for about 3 months.

And no, I'm not using her. We were both trying to hit it off since December of last year.
>>
Is sex a need? I feel like I can live without sex. I like the thought of physical intimacy (hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc) but sex seems so off-putting and awkward. I get embarrassed by the thought of it. I avoid relationships because I know I wouldn't be able to provide that for my partner.

Is it possible to be in a happy relationship without sex?
>>
>>16427990
It is for some people. As you've keenly noticed, it's death for a relationship to fail in providing for the basic needs of your partner. It's possible to be in a happy relationship without sex if it doesn't happen to be a need for your partner. Good luck finding that. Alternatively, having intellectually recognized the value and reason of physical intimacy you could pursue counseling to bring your emotional recognition in line.
>>
>>16427990
Are you per chance that 21 year old girl from that thread yesterday?
>>
Girls, would it be weird if a classmate you've been having lunch with every week texts you and asks you out for a date?
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>>16428033
If you see them weekly you should ask them out in person.
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>>16424666
For either gender: how would you describe your ideal partner? For me, I'd like someone funny, smart, and willing to talk about almost anything. Just someone who I can shower in love and be loved in return. Looks for me aren't terribly important, anything that in my eyes is 7/10 will be fine.
>>
>>16428048

as a guy:

kind, funny, not a pushover, outgoing, compassionate. also, a girl that is hot and doesnt act stuck up is a HUGE plus. no reason to treat people like shit cause you won the genetic lottery.
>>
>>16428045
I've actually planned to, but I had to abruptly leave before the usual lunch time.
But yeah, I shall ask her next week.
>>
>>16428005
Thank you for your response! I want to see a psychologist because I think it has a lot to do with my low self-esteem. I don't even consider myself as a human at times. So, until I get myself sorted out, I want to avoid relationships so I don't put anyone through that.

>>16428009
I'm not that girl. I just recently got back on /adv/.
>>
>>16428048
As a girl, I like someone who is honest, comfortable to talk to, high-energy, motivational, funny, thoughtful, and loving. Someone whose full of surprises and an adrenaline junkie, but has a quiet side is a plus.

Appearance wise, I have a strange thing for really tall guys (6'3+) and reading glasses, but it's definitely not a requirement. A cute face and a uniquely uplifting personality does it for me. I'm not picky on size or race.
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>>16428089
[spoiler]You actually described me fairly accurately except for the tall guy and glasses part. Good to know that someone out here wants someone like me [/spoiler]
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>>16428100
Ah shit. Fucked up the spoiler. Always happens.
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>>16428103
You didn't fuck it up. Spoilers don't work in /adv/
>>
>>16428100
There's always someone for everyone! I mean, think about those people out there in the world that have weird fetishes. Again, weird, but it'd be boring if everyone liked the same type of person.
>>
How much is in a name? Found a girl on a dating site, seems fine, but she has a weird as shit first name. Like so weird when you Google it the first (and only) thing that pops up is her.

And no, she ain't a black girl. College educated white girl.

Am I wrong for not seeing past this? Maybe I can get her to love me enough to convince her to change her name to something normal down the line? Too much thought into this?
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>>16428185
Name? That's a bit odd. I mean, if you really like the girl then name shouldn't matter.
>>
Guy here, guess I'll take anyone's opinion. I found out my gf of 6 months had a few years back a ONS with a massage therapist after she got the massage from him...like straight out of a porno. It's been bothering me ever since I found out. What do?
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>>16428185
Don't punish the girl for the sins of her parents. My nephew is gifted and lovely, but my sister is a pretentious cunt who gave him a name with two syllables nobody can pronounce and crammed them together. I can't even tell you what it is because I'm pretty sure he's the only person in the world with that name, it'll probably link to some of her bragging about him.
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>>16428215
It doesn't have to be the parents' fault. Legally changing your name is a thing, and it can be as ~special~ as you like. If you're crazy enough, anything is possible.
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>>16426104
>>16426223
Thanks for making me keep faith in women cuties <3
>>16427158
you'll find someone who find you attractive, for sure, just focus on yourself first
>>16427659
>Guys, do you ever want to talk about your ex?
Well, i lived so many meaningfull things with her, that you would feel sad after i tell you how perfect she was, because she was, almost.
But i'm willing to tell you things if you ask me, i'd prefer focus on you, thought.
>>
If I've been seeing a girl for a month, we've gotten to second base and halfway to third (groping around her ass and pussy but never touching it directly because she said save it for next time) we only exclusively see each other, and we've made plans a month ahead of time, aren't we practically in a relationship now?

I don't want to make it weird by asking her directly
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>>16428467
I don't know, all you've told us about is the sexual side. The exclusivity part is a big clue, but it might not necessarily mean relationship. Why not suggest changing your relationship status of Facebook and see how she reacts?
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>>16428473

She's a virgin and she said this is the first time she's ever liked a guy enough to let it go so far.

She said she also loves how tender I am and how safe she feels with me
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>>16428194
Does she still regularly get massages?
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>>16428194
I've heard that some masseurs are practically glorified prostitutes. It's not really related to your predicament but I've lately heard a lot of similar stories.
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>>16428048
My ideal partner is motivational, hardworking and passionate with a healthy appetite for sex. He should like it rough as well as loving. I like people who do not talk unless something really bugs them, assertive, strong type but not obnioxiously loud.

Appearance is not that important but I like grey eyes and dark hair.
>>
I really like this girl that I've been seeing for about a month, and I want her to be my official gf. If she doesn't, I want to end it now before I get too attached. Also because there are lots of other girls who want to go out with me right now. How do I properly confront her about this?
>>
Why the fuck do some women reject men then still have feelings and end up with them?
>get hardcore rejected by women I got close with
>almost had sex but we both had work
>text me a week later after going silent
>got stupid tried to use logic realized it was pointless and kept it friendly
>three months go by and keep talking in person only
>fuck it ask her out again
>happy as fuck and wants to do it late night
This is stupid
>>
>>16428827
Wait, why'd you ask her out again if you were just going to get mad that she said yes?
>>
>>16428827

you are plan B

or she is tsundere
>>
Say I ask 4 girls out all within the same week and they all say yes.

Is it cheating if I don't tell them?
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>>16428835
I'm not mad part of it is the fact I frankly still have feelings for her and the fact we keep getting caught talking when we meet. I even slept with other women and didn't get the same feeling. She claims she's afraid to hurt me and I'm too important but she is avoidnt due to hurt but she still checks on me and even gives me food through her mother that recently admitted that to me who knows nothing of this situation
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>>16428521
Once in a while, but goes out of her way to say it's a woman doing the massaging. She's the one who told me about the incident in the first place, but I really have no reason to suspect her cheating on me. It's mainly that it just bothers me that she'd fuck a damn massage therapist...I'd have had less of a problem if it was a friend or something that she had a fling with but idk why this specific event is bothering me. Maybe cause I used to watch a lot of fuckedhard18?
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>>16427502
Haha absolutely not. I've never been to a party nor have I drank/done any other drugs. I don't have interest in any of that.
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>>16429274
You surely are a rare breed.
You definitely sound interesting to me.
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>>16427605
Bumping this question. I'd say the limit experience part is out. Thinking about it today I realized how much I'd miss the simple things I do with her and how great we are together.
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>>16426909
Asceticism
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>>16424991
>third or so pregnancy scare
>within five months, when having sex only every few weekends
Is there a reason you're too dumb to use condoms or how do you explain that? It sounds like 1/3 of the times you have sex ends in a pregnancy scare. Especially if you can't have an abortion (wtf why), it's really risky behaviour.

But yeah, I'd try to find a way to get an abortion if it goes to that and learn to use condoms holy shit and definitely stop having unsafe sex
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>>16425095
I was well past 18. I briefly dated this dude in his early twenties I kind of considered to be a bit out of my league and was worried he'd figure out I was inexperienced, and so tried to kind of stretched myself out in advance (over the course of several days, slow and tender process, with fingers, and of course I had been masturbating for a couple of years at least by then) before we had sex. It worked, it was just a bit uncomfortable but there was no tearing or blood or anything like that, and overall it was a very pleasant, tender experience. We broke up soon afterwards after having sex a couple of more times because he was a bit of a douche, but I have zero regrets.

He was quite good in bed and I'd been feeling increasingly embarrassed and anxious about still being a virgin for well over a year by then, but just hadn't met a guy I'd have felt comfortable enough to do it with and hadn't wanted to force myself to "just get it over with". This guy, even though I could see it won't last, there was something about his general air that made it easy and nice to be around him and I liked his touch, so I seized the chance. Even if he turned out to be a dick in the end it was still a lovely little dalliance while it went on.

9/10 breddy gud, especially after having heard some of my friend's experiences
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>>16428827
Well in my case, I didn't have romantic feelings at the time, and didn't want to be in a relationship because I wasn't ready. I wanted to at least be out of high school and know him better before I considered it.

So I said no initially, and then confessed my feelings a few years later.
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>>16429285
Aw thanks, anon. People like us might be far and few between, but we are out there. It's always nice to hear from someone similar.
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>>16429343
I can only return the compliment.
Knowing that you're not alone with your mindset is extremely relaxing.
>>
>Be me
>Have gf, met at work
>Have a mutual friend we used to work with
>Both really good friends with her
>Always felt a lot of sexual tension between me and this girl
>Me and her both 'foodies' so used to go to dinner and drinks together a lot
>Somehow avoided being alone with her in her apartment so nothing sexual has ever happend
>She has a bf now anyway
>She is studying for some qualification and often calls me to ask me questions since I have masters degree in related area
>She called me about an hour ago
>I answered even though I was masturbating
>Long story short, we masturbated for each other over the phone

How bad is this? Is this cheating? Im pretty sure I shouldnt have done it, but I dont feel any guilt at all.
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>>16429366
It's cheater-enabling
>>
Am I overthinking this /adv/?

Basically I went on a date with this girl last week. The date went really well (we had sex, talked a lot after, etc). Yesterday we ended up going on a second date. The date went well (I thought, she was acting super romatic/couple-like with me like holding my hand etc) and we only made out a bunch (she was on her period). However today when we talked she seemed like she didn't really want to talk (would only send back weird one word responses or like "hahahaha"). She did text me first today so maybe I'm just reading into that. Do you think this girl is losing interesting in me or I'm just completely over looking into this?
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>>16429367
What does that mean?

We have been together for 6 years, and up until 3 months ago I'd never cheated on her. Then I fucked my housemate and now this.
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>>16429384
Oh whoops, totally missed the you having a gf part. Yeah I'd definitely consider that cheating and so does your girlfriend probably.

Wouldn't you be upset if she masturbated for some guy over the phone?
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>>16429384
Oh wow and you fucked your housemate?
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>>16429373

....

>Am I overthinking this /adv/?

Yes.
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>>16429398
Yeah I'd be really upset if I knew she had done that. I dont know how I would react

>>16429401
Yes, I did. About 3.5 years ago my gf kissed another guy (who was her housemate). She said he initiated it and she was drunk. I think that is true, but I think she led him on a lot, used to go in his bedroom, snuggle up to him, send inappropriate messages and so on, so I can hardly blame him. She was the one at fault. Ever since then, I just had this feeling that I needed to do something to 'get even'. I didnt search out another girl to do anything with, and I didnt plan on fucking my housemate, it just happened. But I guess it gave me some comfort.

But then I did this, and i guess i dont feel bad because the sexual tension has always been there and its no where near as bad as actually fucking someone else.
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>>16429415
You two belong together
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>>16427571
Depends on your situation in life and ambition.
If you're poor, but it's obviously temporary, and you have plans and goals and are trying to realistically realize them, and it looks like you'll stop being unemployed in a few years, then it's probably not a problem.

If it looks like you're content to live hand to mouth, unemployed and totally aimless, just floating and living on welfare, and have no goals and don't improve yourself or even want to try to accomplish anything, then yes that's a massive turnoff.

However, the younger you are the more okay it is to still be looking for direction in your life. Unemployed and aimless at 22? No problem. Unemployed and aimless at 30? Worrying.

The thing is that I don't want be poor and kinda coasting for the rest of my life. It's okay when you're young and a student, but not all your life. I've done it for years, being a student, and I fucking hate it. I hate worrying if my account has enough money for the groceries. I hate stressing about bills and not being able to do anything because there's no money. I don't want to still be doing that at 30+. I want to have a family, at some point, I want to be able to buy nice cheeses and fruit and good food without stressing at the cash, I want to be able to eat out with friends every now and then, I want to be able to travel.

And I don't want to be the only breadwinner in the family. If there will be kids, I'd like to have the option to stay home for a year etc. I don't need to be rich, but I don't want to be poor. There needs to be some kind of income, I need my partner to pull their weight as well, so to speak.

But this depends a lot on the woman and the kind of lifestyle they have as their personal goal. And of course, no-one cares about your long-term life situation if it's just a short, exciting fling or a casual encounter.

But, tldr: it's the attitude towards life rather than the actual current bank balance that's the deciding factor.
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how do i suggest my s/o looked more dolled up during sex?
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>>16429494
Ask for specifics.
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>>16429494
"I love it when you ___."
"___ really turns me on."
"It makes me so horny when you ___."
"Put ___ on. I wan to see you in it."
"You look so hot in ___."
"It's so sexy when you ____."
"I'd love it if you did _____ more often."
>>
How do I get into frat parties?
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>>16429573
Make ratio.
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>>16429578
I only know 1 other girl besides my mom
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>>16429580
Then you're not getting into frat parties, and with good reason. They aren't charity services. The frat is trying to have a good time for its pledges and brothers. It's their party, remember. Well they don't expect a good time with a room full of random horny guys and one or two chicks.

This is a good lesson for both frat parties and even meeting new women in your life: take a second to put yourself in another person's shoes. Be reasonable about their expectations before trying to make your own.
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>okay
>well
>yes
>sure
>okay
God fucking damnit, texting this bitch has become so infuriating. She used to be so engaging, keeping my phone lit up all night, and now she can't even give enough of a shit to write more than a single fucking word.

We're dating and still have one planned. Only yesterday she told me unprompted that she likes to go out with me. Now she can't even write more than a single goddamn word, and it pisses me off so damn much.

Is this shit normal for you girls after a few months? Seriously, what do you expect a guy to do here? All I want is someone to talk to on this lonely evening, so what's with the whole "leave me alone you creep" schtick? The only way this shit could enrage me worse is if she had literally gone "k" all over my screen.

All I want is a bit of affection. Why is that too much to ask?
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>>16429630
>pisses me off
This is so unattractive. Stop it.

Is she not giving you what you need? Then walk away! That's it. Your reaction is legit creepy. You're acting like someone robbed your grandma.
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>>16429630
>Only yesterday she told me unprompted that she likes to go out with me. Now she can't even write more than a single goddamn word, and it pisses me off so damn much.
>yesterday
>now

From one dude to another... chill the fuck out. It sounds like you're being needy as fuck. Flipping you shit after 1 day -.-
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>>16429630
I think you should drive to her house and demand to know whats going on and who the other guy is. What could go wrong?
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>>16429633
Yeah, I know I'm acting like an entitled little shit, but I'm anonymous, frustrated and obviously not going to shove this in her face, so forgive me for now.

I've had a horrible week already, and need to cool down. Whenever this girl's feeling down or needs anything, I go out of my way to help and cheer her up. Is it so unreasonable for her to at least try to care if the tables are turned? I guess this is just a hopeless case.

>>16429650
It's not the first day she does this. That one thing she said yesterday was actually an exception inbetween weeks of "okay"s.
>>
so there is a girl who i kinda like and have been noticing she has been flirty with me lately and even hinted at going out a few weeks ago. normally this should be a good thing, but now that i know she likes me has turned me off. just knowing someone else likes ME makes me uncomfortable. i hate myself and have been debating An Hero for the past 7 years. how can some one LIKE ME?
>>
>>16427158
Not too much you can do, aside from making yourself appealing in other ways, such as through personality or skills. What ethnicity are you exactly though out of curiosity
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>>16428827
IRL problems, etc...
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>>16427659
>Guys, do you ever want to talk about your ex?
lolno

Generally its a negative experience for different reasons, if anything women I've seen get upset I avoid topics like that. However if he's initiating the topic, he clearly wants to talk about it.

>>16428048
>intelligent
>emotionally open
>giving personality
>healthy libido

Physically I'm biased towards taller thicker women but that takes a backseat to emotional requirements.
>>
>>16429630
>used to be so engaging, keeping my phone lit up all night
>now she can't even give enough of a shit to write more than a single fucking word
>after a few months

It sounds a little like she's losing interest but doesn't want to admit it, to herself or you, doesn't want to let you go because you have good qualities and it's possible she can rekindle her feelings. She's hesitating and not sure what she wants. Maybe it's the memory of the awesome time you had together when you started to go out and the feelings she had for you then, maybe she's trying to hold on to that feeling by declaring that she likes to go out with you.
I've been in similar situations, where you're involved with someone, and they're awesome, and it'd be so convenient to be with them and it'd be a good relationship - but the passion isn't there, you're not maybe that interested. But you want to be interested because of the potential in the relationship, so you wait, keep it going and give your emotions a chance to wake up - but at the same time the lack of interest manifests as passivity. So it's very frustrating for the other person, to be kind of put on hold, not ready to break it off but not ready to fully engage either.

OR it's possible she's just super busy or emotionally overwhelmed by something else. Is she melancholy or depressed or very busy with projects?

Anyway, I don't think she's intentionally being a bitch, just confused. If you really like her, just brace yourself and give her some space, don't act clingy and needy and whiny and be good company on your date. Unfortunately these things can't be forced, if she doesn't feel it she just doesn't, and negative or complicated talks and demands and complaints never really help in igniting love, even when justified. Guilt doesn't breed attraction.

Sorry dude, it's a difficult situation. But if she was really interested, there wouldn't be "weeks of okays".
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>>16427605
She sounds like she's more level headed than you and you should take a page from her book. You're 25, your career growth should come first. Ask by all means but don't be upset she will say no and the relationship won't work. Do what will help you in the long-term and not what you think is good for your current 25 year old self in a > 2 year relationship.

Best of luck.
>>
are some guys naturally flirty?

i work with a guy who's constantly calling me adorable and making fun of how i blush when he talks to me, but i saw him walking out of work holding a girl's hand. he has no social media so i have no idea if he's dating her or if she's his sister or what but he was definitely flirting with me and that's pretty fucking scumbaggy
>>
Either gender.

I fell in love with a very good friend, but she does reciprocate these feelings. I've been pretending this is ok, and that we can still be friends, but 3 months later I still find it more and more painful to be 'just friends' with her.

I know she's depressed and went through a trauma (which is why she isn't emotionally available), and I am the only male friend that she has.

It isn't healthy for me to keep seeing her/being her friend, but I feel like I would be an enormous asshole if I were to just cut all contact with her. What should I do?
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>>16430267
How often do you hang out? Ever considered just talking about the stuff she's going through?
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>>16430099
Some people are more naturally flirty, yeah
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>>16430281
>>16430281
several times a week (2-4 depending on the week). She kind of threw herself into pursuing her grad. degree while working at the same time, so its less often now.

We've talked about it. Her problem is not being able to trust men (physically/emotionally abusive, very long term boyfriend). She tries to stay away from the topic though, so I try not to bring it up unless she wants to talk about it.
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>>16430267
Just cut contact. At least until you move on. Until then you're fucking things up for everyone
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>>16430312
Have you tried talking about things she likes?
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>>16430267
>>16430312
holy fuck we have like the exact same situation except the girl in my life is just doing her bachelors atm.

good luck to us both m8
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>>16430323
I just feel that that would be incredibly selfish of me.

>>16430324
What do you mean? We talk about things she likes, we talk about things I like. Is this not how normal conversations work?
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There's a girl in my college community class who I'd like to flirt with/get her number

She sits right next to me, yet I've never talked to her (no one in class really talks before, everyone just looking at phones)

Halfway through year, 8 classes left at this point

How the hell do I start a convo and then amp up to get number?

Keep in mind this class has like no homework and is very easy, so any class-related convos would seem forced/contrived.
>>
>>16430367
>be attractive
>not be unattractive

that's really it. if she finds you attractive you can literally just look at her and smile when she notices you, and bam you can start talking to her about anything.

if you're not attractive to her obviously she doesnt want to flirt so that will solve the problem fast
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>>16430374
>if a woman doesn't instantly find you physically attractive, you have no chance

wrong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D52YV6dL8IM

do u even have game
>>
Asking girls specifically:

im not a virgin, neckbeard, socially retarded vagina noob at all... But its just been a while since iv asked a girl out.

So I have a friend at uni, shes been giving subtle hints all semester that shes interested (free number, opening up about her close family, etc), which have only grown more obvious now its the holidays and shes basically asking if her favorite show is available; I download things for her because she has bad internet and I think this is her way of saying "lets hang out" and its the holidays, how else would she get it?. Today's the day im going to ask her to hang out and this is what I have so far:

"Hey, how are you? So I’ve been on imdb and I noticed that more than half of season 5s out…"
when she replies...
"I was thinking, maybe if you’re not busy you’d like to catch up over the holidays and I can bring it along?"

Plus I already know a really nice place to take her, its kind of perfect really. Is this okay to say? I want to keep it simple and state my intentions really.
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>>16430398
too long. cut it down.

>hey, wanna come over and watch season 5 of *insert show here*?

you sound like a total faggot with the "how are you" and "maybe if you're not busy" shit
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>>16430407
i admit i thought the busy part was shit, i expected this

but I dont want her to think its a netflix and chill type of deal, I legit like her and want to take her out.
>>
my bf asked me about what he can do to impress me. we're in a long distance relationship though so i dont know what to answer. also i really cant answer non-specific questions like that. and he said it's important for him.

halp.
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>>16430378
>people pay to see this kind of speech
Is Pegasus everywhere?
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>>16425630
she's flirting around for cash tips, not dick tips.
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Alright females I need an answer. I had great body language communication with this chick I didn't even know. I finally talked to her todat and she brought up the fact that she has a bf. What gives ? This something y'all do to show disinterest? Or what's the deal here cause I know for a fact she's been wanting me to talk to her with all the goddamn body language we've exchanged
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>>16430462
>This something y'all do to show disinterest?
Pretty much. Unless she's crazy/a cheater.
>>
>>16430470
Well fuck her then what a bitch.
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>>16430462
Maybe you just read the situation wrong.
>>
>>16430446

Pegasus = Stealth PuA ;)
>>
>>16430479
I wish that was the case I know flirtatious behavior.
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>>16430489
You said nothing about verbal communication, just behaviour. If there was both I'd be more inclined to believe you, but if it was just behaviour then I'm pretty sure you just read it wrong. Unless she was actually sitting in your lap and grabbing your crotch and making out with you.

Also it would make no sense for her to show interest through her body language and then do a complete 360 and basically tell you she's not interested
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>>16430493
Females don't make sense. I'm confident in my ability to read body language. There is some unmistakable gestures she did that were really flirty
>>
>>16430514
You know, it would help clear some things up if you actually told us WHAT she did instead of telling us that there was no way she wasn't flirting.
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>>16430520
Nigger I just care about why females do it. You not believing me isn't important. It's not like this is the first time I've talked to a female
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>>16430489
There are studies that show men misinterpret things as sexual advances VASTLY more than women do.

Chances are, you're seeing what you want to see.
>>
>>16430532
If she hasn't done anything, then there's nothing to explain in the first place, is there? It DOES matter what she did, and your reluctance to tell us what she did makes me think you're doubting yourself
>>
>>16430532
>>16430514
>>16430462
>females
Using that unironically is just so cringeworthy. Actually, using that at all is. You sound like an autist doing a documentary. Urban Wildlife, narrated by David Aspieborough
>>
>>16430543
>>16430538
Are you fucking kidding me go read "Body Language how to read others thoughts by their gestures" by Allan Pease. I am not misinterpreting anything this isn't my first time using that useful skill I literally have done this before. Let's assume I'm right and answer my original goddamn question
>>
>>16430584
I can see why she changed tack, assuming she actually was interested in the first place and you didn't read the situation wrong.
>>
>>16430584
"i am always right and i can never read a person wrong"

jesus anon, why do you come to an advice board then refuse to help us help you?

> I just care about why females do it.

then fuck off to r9k if all you want to do is complain about women.
>>
>>16430440
>needs to impress
When men feel insecure in their masculinity they will attempt to reassert it in some way. This guy asked you what he can do that you will appreciate, that's impressive to me.

I want to make sure you understand he's feeling insecure, and that the goal is to help him feel good again. For me, I would want to know that my girlfriend is thinking about, desiring, and appreciating me. You could tell him he's impressive already, the (insert something you like) he does really makes you feel (sexual or romantic desire words here) towards him, and blah blah blah you want his sexy dick.
>>
>>16430099
I come across as flirty, but my motto is, "compliments are doled out as they are deserved." Since I'm a charismatic dude, it comes across flirty. But I'll be damned if that dress or your hairdo go uncomplimented when I like that shit.
>>
>>16429765
Because you're not actually a shit person. Basically, your self concept is lower than how she sees you.
>>
>>16429515
This person gets it. Women fucking love being told theyre hot, and that you want them. (When they want you)

This is also the nature of dirty talk, but w/e
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