Harry Potter thread?

What are the best stories?

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>>961519
Thanks for this thread,,, because I really needed to ask a question in one of them.

Years ago there was a story I read. In it, Harry was teaching at Hogwarts as an adult, years after Voldemort's defeat. Now this before the seventh book even came out, so you can guess how long ago this wasm but I have no clue when it was actually uploaded. I cannot find ANYTHING about it.

I remember Madame Rosmerta (I think it was her), and a mention of the three broomsticks. Only here's the kicker! She had to work there to satisfy the three broomsticks, which were actually magically enchanted to be penises. nd they were also gay. If she did not take it in the ass and get an anal creampie from each of them,... something would happen, and better her than a man.

With each broomstick being gay, for some reason Harry had sex with her instead. I THINK the story was called 'Harry Potter and the Anal Creampie', but I can't for the life of me find anything similar to that. I first came across the story in early 2007, before Deathly Hallows came out.

Can someone PLEASE help me out here?

>>961519
>>961520
>>961525
>>961528
>>961532
>>961535
>>963060
>>965158
>>967183
any photoshop hermoine?

>>965158
Ginny looks like a fucking house elf having a stroke I can't stop laughing.

>>969435
>groundcontroltomajorsides.jpg

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I like Harry/Fleur for some reason

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>>972269

>>972269
I must be the only man alive that finds the character and her implied appearance unattractive. I just don't understand the sheer number of stories that pair him with her. She isn't that fucking pretty. A magical succubus that was a pretty big bitch at first, big deal.

>>972443
So she's cheating on Dean? Or Seamus? Poor, heterosexual life partner bastards.

>>972443

It's not murder if I transfigure your lungs into pizza.

>>973526
Can't make food with magic, read them again... <end geek mode>

>>972286
The movie version of her was terrible. She was supposed to be drop-dead gorgeous. Clémence Poésy isn't very pretty at all, so they totally ignored the book character and just made her French.

>>972269
>Harry's Bizarre Adventure

>>975332
I can see that. Doesn't help that most of the stories surrounding her cite have her as a LI because she is supposed to be drop -dead gorgeous with a succubus like aura that attracts boys.
Past the fourth book my memory gets spotty until the sixth. Is there anything to her besides the fact that she kissed Harry for saving her sister, and married one of the Weasley's?

>>975774
She was supposed to be pretty powerful, according to the fake Mad-eye Moody, though she failed the competition in the tournament. She fought well in combat with the Death Eaters, and stood by Bill when he was disfigured. She's 1/4 Veela, hence the aura of attraction. She later tended to the wounded when Dobby rescued the lot from Malfoy Manor.

>>975809
Hm, alright. So, genuine and caring. Those are good qualities, unfortunately most of the taglines are basically "Veela Soul-Bond" and "Harry gets it with that super hot veela chick because why not, one more girl in the harem".

Not that I'm complaining about multi pairings.

What are people's favorite stories in HP. I only like straight and femslash, and fairly vanilla stuff at that, but my favorites are the "Come Shots" stories and "to revel with a veela"

>>975894
>femslash
>vanilla
I must be super vanilla for not liking it.

>>975904
>>975894
>>975825
>>975809
>>975774
>>975743
>>975332
>>973526
>>973415
>>972443
>>972286
>>972273
>>972269
>>969744
>>969489
>>969469
>>969467
>>969435
>>968702
>>967183
>>965158
>>963060
>>961535
>>961532
>>961528
>>961525
>>961520
>>961519
any hermoine

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>>977672

>>977672
What the hell is wrong with you? There's no need to clog up the whole thread by replying to everything, shitlord.

>>981414
use the "hide post" thingie, its great

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From Sexy Losers

>>981601
And this is why Harry Potter is not a very good universe for deep thought. Just imagine what sort of shit can happen with Polyjuice. Or transfigured shit.

On one hand, fully consensual sex with lolis whily you look like a porn star.

On the other you could totaly be fucking a 400 pound neckbeard and end up killed because you swallowed a tranfigured particle of dust that was a 100kg rock.