You get summoned as a Servant in the Holy Grail War

Don't act like a cunt unless needed and I won't kill us both.

How the fuck did I get here, and who slipped a muddy mickie into my drink last night?

sorry

>>160912576
Not gonna lie. We're fucked.

>>160912576
What year is it?

Put clothes on you fucking whore

>hikikomori wizard neet
I assume my noble phantasm would be the ability to project my laziness onto others mindraping them into oblivion?

>>160912576
G'day cunt.

baa sak kaa
even if im not a bezerker just to fuck with my master every word will involve bezerker

>>160912576
WAS GOOOOD NIEEEGUHHHH??

>>160912576
"Let me tell you about 4chan, my master."

Im finally a little girl, thanks Nasu! Mastah! Mana recharge!

Im useless so you are gonna have to get really imaginative if you want to win.

>>160912576
Well... Fuck

>Nasu said modern heroes wouldn't exist because we'd be more about the gadgets than our legends.

Time to prove 'em wrong. Let's go gun shopping. I'm sure I can kill at least Masters with a gun.

activate stand anti-bully ranger

I'm a warrior. A booty warrior.

>>160912576
So... is loli okay in this time period or... n-never mind.

File: cykablyad.jpg (12KB, 480x360px)

12KB, 480x360px

>>160912576
> А NOO
> CHEEKI BREEKI
> I V DAMKEE

>>160912576

you fucking idiot

Congratulations, you just lost the game

Look at me, I'm the hero now.

>>160913552
>It got retconne

Literally nothing was retconned, even Billy's NP description ingame makes note of that one interview that everyone throws a shitfit over constantly.

Its just that everyone instantly jumps to misunderstand that interview instantly whenever its posted, to the point that I think they're doing it on purpose. We've had heroes that use guns in Fate for ten years. However there are harsh rules for guns in Fate; the gun is not the NP, there's no mysticism for guns, there's no real magic to them. Its not that guns are banned, its that they're hard for legends to shape from them, a hero cannot be a hero for gun feats alone.

Billy's NP isn't the gun, its his technique in using the gun that has surpassed human value since he can fire three bullets at the speed of instant. Billy isn't a hero for gun feats alone, he's the most famous outlaw in the world.

>>160912576
whos that loli supposed to be

>>160912576
Dude

>>160913660
Some Achilles fangirl

File: 1473269203502.jpg (50KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 600x450px

Are you my master?

>>160913631
I understood it, I'm just saying that modern, as in the last 20 years would be hard pressed to find good legends about.

Like that White Death guy. Something like 600 confirmed kills with a rifle. Possibly one of the deadliest people on the planet but its just a gun feat. There's no magic to him the dude was just a crack shot and didn't want to get killed.

Then look at today. How quickly we absorb, discard, and then forget information. Major events discussed and forgotten in mere weeks if not days. Who today would ever qualify for a NP?

>>160913751

You can't evaluate the present like that because what counts is a lasting impression long after the person's death.

>>160913792
That's the point though, and also part of what Gilgamesh was getting at. There's so many people now and information exchanges and gets forgotten so fast that there's no chance for that to happen to anymore. At least not until we go to space and start killing space gods with laser harpoons or whatever.

File: chyachyan.jpg (36KB, 219x350px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 219x350px

>>160912576
Would you like to see death this once?

More like our death, I'm only good at chugging down light cola.

I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK

>>160913841

Neil Armstrong's coming at you with his Apollo 11 NP

>>160912749
I SAID, WHATS REALLY GOOD NIGGA?

>>160913751
But Shimo is legend. He was perfect at what he was doing. With just a little magic he could kick some ancient gods asses.

>>160913916
>The moonlanding was fake.

Would he be Rider Class, what would even be the NP? The ability to calculate landing trajectories using a calculator?

"Is there wifi here?"

You so we are clear, you are fucked.

>>160913934

If Thomas Edison can be a heroic spirit anyone can at this point. Fuck, why not make his Apollo capsule some sort of pimped out Mecha called Apollo 11 and have him pilot it?

>>160912576
"wtf did I do to become a heroic spirit?"

>>160912576
What were you thinking?

File: i_wanna_die.png (882KB, 720x720px) Image search: [Google]

882KB, 720x720px

...

GIMME DA PUSSY BOSS

File: 53.png (127KB, 594x483px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 594x483px

>>160912576
And so I squeeze the mayonnaise onto the egg. Mayonegg.

>>160912576

Hitler did nothing wrong 1488 gas the kikes race war now

>>160913934
Probably similar to Helena's

>>160912576
You must be a shitty master if I'm what you got when summoning.

>>160913972
At this point, TYPEMOON's stance is that anyone who has a wikipedia article can become a servant. Eric Harris is a viable candidate.

>>160912576
Lady Luck hates your gut bro/sis.

>Anon gets summoned as a Berserker, but is pitifully weak
That's the only outcome.

>>160913751
... The Holocaust? I mean, it IS remembered as one of the most evil things in history.

>>160912576
>"I count as a hero? Seriously?"

>>160912576
Have sex with me`

DEUS VULT! We will take JEWRUSALEM.

>>160914158

Strength: E thanks to mad enhancement. Every other stat is F. NP involves shitposting somehow

>>160912576
Let me tell you about the Jews.

>>160913751
>Who today would ever qualify for a NP?
Anyone that is known worldwide'
Osama bin Laden

File: 1487481349299.gif (3MB, 422x214px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 422x214px

>>160912576

>>160913934
>NP for Neil Armstrong
Apollo 11's landing on the moon I guess?

>Moon Landing
>A step for a man, a giant leap for mankind
Could probably be a RM type where the moon's landscrape is formed and he lands Apollo 11 on top of his enemies before stepping out to step on them.

>>160912576
Wanna go to 7-Eleven?

>>160912576
I never asked for this

>>160912576
TAKBIR

>>160912576
Gomenasai, my name is Ken-Sama. I'm a 27 year old American Otaku.

Somebody really messed up. Let's see if you can give me back and get a refund.

File: 1423676308231.gif (3MB, 467x439px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 467x439px

I just kill myself and get sent back to the throne until I get summoned by a cute little girl mage

when did I make a contract with alaya

File: 1501860055964.jpg (22KB, 248x225px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 248x225px

>>160912576

"Don't blame your luck master, the rates were garbage"

>>160912576
Nigga, we're fucked in the ass so hard we're better off committing suicide.

>>160912576

You fucked up.

>>160912576
I'm going to masturbate right now.

>>160912576
Do you have internet connection?

>>160912576
"You done goofed!"
or
"You must suck as a mage."
or
"I'd seek the priest if I were you".

File: e87662169f5a73e4e81c3b098009cb55.png (188KB, 472x798px) Image search: [Google]

188KB, 472x798px

>>160912576
D-do you like anime?

>>160912905

wait so how the fuck Shirou managed to be one?

>>160912576
Listen here kiddo, I've seen enough Hellsing to know how to kill something really dead. We're gonna need guns, knives, and any merlin meme bullshit you can pull out of your magical ass.

>>160912576
You're gonna carry that weight.

>>160912576
I ask thee, are you my mastah?

File: Irisv.png (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x1080px

>>160912905
Look how that turned out, Kerry

>>160917987
Sold his soul to the counterforce, guy's a faker in more ways than one

>>160917587
The best part playing Grand Order

Congratulations, you summoned a cripple

>>160912576
You fucked up

>>160912576
You done goofed son

File: 1470978875212.jpg (19KB, 366x380px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 366x380px

>>160912576

can i know what did you used as a catalyst to summon me?

>>160917789
>"It could have been worse, you could have gotten black keys"

>>160918397
soggy kleenex

What country would naturally produce the best servants?

I think the Russians could be a great servant type.

https://streamable.com/v2vlx

>>160912576
ALLAHU AKBAR!

File: 1401835320496.jpg (19KB, 272x382px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 272x382px

>>160912576
FUCK

YOU

>>160912576
If even I qualify as a Servant then we might have a chance.

>>160912576
You asked for this master. Not my fault what happen next.

>>160912576
>Master: So you're my servant huh? Tell me Saber what is it that you desire?

JEWRUSALEM! DESU VULT!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw2GiQ8vsrs

>>160912576
WAHAHAHAHAHWHAHWAHHHH
YOU A PICKED THE WRONG A TIME A BOYYY
SPAGHETTI PIZZA
A MAMA MIA
SEND ME A HOME A PLEASERIA

What, are the other servants I have to battle also losers from /a/? Is this like one of those alternate realities where your waifu has you as a husbando and brings you into her world? So all the "servants" are just manchildren from another world and the winner gets to stay in the 2D world? Brb writing a LN.

Ey Yo where the white wimmin at?

>>160912659
kek

File: 1322652609010.png (80KB, 809x758px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 809x758px

>>160912576

>>160918397
Taints of semen on a pillow probably

MASTER MASTER
WHERE'S THE DREAMS THAT I'VE BEEN AFTER

>>160912576
GUUUUUNDAAAMM!!

>>160912905

>Nasu said modern heroes wouldn't exist because we'd be more about the gadgets than our legends.

Nasu is fucking retarded.

>>160912576
Lurk 2 more years before summoning.

>>160912576
"sup beeches, it's chad warden"

>>160912576
"The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow'r,
And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave,
Awaits alike th' inevitable hour.
The paths of glory lead but to the grave."

And then, just to put too fine a tip on my point, I would explode.

>>160923633
What did he mean by this?

>>160918081
kerry was fucked no matter what since gilgamesh is unbeatable without an equal level of hax

assassinating masters would be a viable strategy for a decent gunslinger with a decent servant as long as none of the servants have hax or are omnescient

>>160923841
He could have returned Avalon to Saber.

>>160924007
>>160912744
my basaka nigga

>>160912576
Nan dess kar?

>>160912576
"I uh, need to pee, is it cool if i leave?"

>>160924007
This. Every single thing I would try to fuck up with my master's mind

>pretending to be of another class
>pretending to have other identity
>pretending to be retarded
>pretending that my NP is something else

>>160924702
t. Astolfo.

>>160912576
Depends on my class.

Saber: Let us fuck with honor.
Archer: I'll fuck you Independently.
Lance: My real spear never fails to pierce its target.
Assassin: I'll fuck you in secret.
Rider: Let me teach you how to ride.
Caster: I'll be using Item Construction to make babies inside your Territory now, for Mana exchange.
Berserker: BASAKA!

If my master is a male, I suicide.

>>160924702
>right before getting killed for your prank you turn around and say "So, im actually a Cast-"

Yo.

File: chen 3.jpg (113KB, 423x357px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 423x357px

>>160925266
You got it, what would be better than just create a magic sword and armor, pretending to be a saber class but then reveal myself as a caster that loses in a few seconds in a 1vs1 physical fight

Reroll

>>160913934
He summons the TYPE-Moon.

File: cuteberserker.jpg (572KB, 750x1000px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 750x1000px

Better question is what's your class and NP going to be.

>>160912576
Are they playing Frank Ocean?

u don fukd up m8

File: Ohahaha+i+geddit+you+re+one+of+_34347b19dba1ba558a9b3d583ee26a67.jpg (7KB, 326x183px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 326x183px

>>160912576
Are we the good guys?

>>160918494
That guy is ukrainian through.

Y-You too

>>160912576
Was getting a failure part of your plan?

>>160914101
>Steven Colbert as a Servent. PewDiePie as a Servent. Trump as a Servent.

Actually though wouldn't that make certain really famous presidents eligible? Washington might actually be cool if he came with a magic axe or a gun then called himself Saber or Archer.

>>160912602
lmao

>>160927862
why would kings and emperors be viable but not presidents

>>160914174
It's also remember'd as one of the most fake things in history

>>160927862
GO confirms the Presidents have their own Throne, though they've only powered up Edison so far.

>>160913751
>as in the last 20 years would be hard pressed to find good legends about.
Make it 30 and you get a few influential people like Tolkan. And why even look at a time frame of 20 years? That's way too short. What Legends came out in 220-240 BC? I doubt many. If you're going to look at a time period, at least look at a century.

File: Qt_Trap.png (339KB, 512x724px) Image search: [Google]

339KB, 512x724px

>>160912576
"Tell me where to find this trap."

>>160912576
So I'm going to be important or something?
Well, tough luck, I'm the animu-watching loser part of my life.
So you're dead.
And you suck.

>>160923552
Agreed.
Davy Crockett, Red Baron, Washington, even villains like Hitler or Mao and so on, how is it not about them, and instead about their "gadgets"?

>>160927862
Fun fact: Washington is and remains the only six-star general, a position whose authority explicitly does not expire on death and supersedes the entire military hierarchy.

So Servant Washington could theoretically walk onto the US military base on Okinawa and order everything scrambled.

Hail victory! Hail Trump!

>>160912576
Why would i be summoned in the first place? i have not done anything heroic

>>160912576
I wish things had turned out better.

>>160912576
>How the fuck was I important enough to end up as a servant

I hate you master lol.

File: 1356740969206.png (18KB, 153x140px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 153x140px

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called “Linux”, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.
Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called “Linux” distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

>>160912576
I'm going to kill you before you die.

can we fug?

>>160912576
>finally brave enough to kill myself
>wake up as servant in the HGW
At least now I have an excuse to kill and eat people

File: 1409145457987.jpg (172KB, 1268x713px) Image search: [Google]

172KB, 1268x713px

>>160912905

>j/k here's a Shirou heroic spirit
>j/k here's a Kiritsugu heroic spirit
>j/k here's Irisviel
>j/k here's Waver
>j/k here's Rin
>j/k here's Mashu Potatoes
>j/k here's [all American heroes]

>>160935626
Galahad isn't modern't you idiot.
Mashu isn't a Servant, she just has Galahad perma Installed
Kind of how Kuro has EMIYA perma installed

File: 1502145030368.png (192KB, 834x818px) Image search: [Google]

192KB, 834x818px

>>160935626
EMIYA and Kiritsugu made a deal with Alaya, Waver and Rin aren't genuine servants, their body acts as a host for a heroic spirit and now that we have a Gunner class you can expect a lot more amerifats. But all those things are stuff you'd have known if you weren't a retarded secondary.

File: 1430470514619.png (350KB, 861x720px) Image search: [Google]

350KB, 861x720px

>>160936253

>Cites exceptions that were made up in side material
>Calls others secondaries

>>160912576

...

If you're not a shit master, you can make me flesh and blood and summon a trap servant so we can both double team her

>>160912576
I NEED MANA TRANSFERS OF SEXUAL NATURE!

>>160912576
Alright, listen here you stupid fuck. If this is a war with a number higher than 3 then the grail will literally kill everyone on the planet if it is used. Also book some fucking plane tickets because unless I get some sort of metafictional world altering powers due to my status as what would be some sort of superdimensional being we are totally fucked.

>>160912576
sumanai

File: ex.jpg (38KB, 604x353px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 604x353px

>>160912576
Where the vilebloods at?

Do we get any sort of special ability or some noble phantasm? Because fuck you I'm going to use the superpower wiki to give myself a noble phantasm ability

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Electromagnetism_Embodiment
Fuck you my sword is the concept of electromagnetism, I'm going to zap my way to victory

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Schrodinger_Teleportation

Fuck im broken.

>>160912576
When we win. Destroy the Throne of Heroes with your wish.

We're we surrender ?

>>160913751
Simo Hayha straight up confirmed he was only good at shooting Soviets because he practiced everyday. He even took a bullet to his face and made the Soviets think he was dead (He was unconscious) when they came to personally check his body.

He then woke up, shot some Soviets some more, before retreating and having surgery.

>>160912576
We're we surrend ?

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Coincidence_Resistance

Excellent, my first words will be "gas the kikes race war now".

>>160913934
Pioneer of the Stars EX, Voyager of the Void A, Natural Genius B.
NP: Apollo 11 - A Giant Leap for Mankind.

>>160912576
Greetings Masuta, I am Anon, Caster class. I am an expert Internet magus who has harnessed shitposting powers beyond your imagination due to my years of browsing a weeb anime imageboard. With just a flick of the wrist I can pierce the enemy with >greentext arrows, ensnare them with the bait hook or rain meme frogs from the heavens. My Noble Phantasm is GETTO DEERAYRU (Get Derail), in which I tap upon chance itself and completely cancel enemy powers by checking them.

>>160940922
>Power is removing plot-armour from things
You basically have the ability to negate the luck stat. Try and find Cu and become friends.

Wait , what happened to my van and all the people I was running over just now? Am I still in London?

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Enhanced_Power_Absorption

Time to completely ruin everyone by absorbing peoples magic circuits along with servants skills and noble phantasms.

>Steal Gate of Babylon from Gil
>All the weapons are now a rank more powerful than before

>Steal Unlimited Blade Works
>Weapons within are same rank as original copy

I am unstoppable.

>>160930684
I think the problem with more modern figures is that you end up with a lot of non-warriors that don't work as well as a swordsman or a martial artist for action.
I mean, you could have Crockett as Archer (fitting for a frontiersman), Richtofen as Rider (planes), and Hitler as Caster (occult rumors).
But where do Washington and Mao fit on a Servant class? Where do all the politicians and generals fit?
Gadgets is a shitty excuse but I do kinda see the problem with going all in with somewhat more recent historical figures. You'll have a buttload of Archers, Assassins and Casters without much to make them stand out.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>Then get killed in the first fight before I even realize what's going on

>>160912576
My Noble Phantasm has a random chance of instakilling every other Servant every time I orgasm, so you better know what to do.

God damn it I wanted a cute master not some old fart

File: 1474763069817.jpg (73KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 640x480px

Put me back in, Im not ready yet.

>>160912576
"well fuck, i better be a caster, thats the only chance in hell we got."
then i proceed to wizard shit from a computer the entire god damn grail war.

File: 1479375455266.png (487KB, 851x476px) Image search: [Google]

487KB, 851x476px

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Simian_Physiology
Me ooga
Team booga

That makes me wonder...

why the fuck haven't we made our own HGW?

>>160936462
>side material
What does that even mean?

>>160942490
What, you mean like RPG-ing one?
I'd be surprised if /tg/ hasn't done it at least once, or at the very least written some fluff. You could ask there.

How powerful would you be if you were able to summon anything and become anyone from any doujin you've read?

>>160912576
I can't lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies.

My sword doesn't have a bone.

I'm not physically or mentally prepared for any task you give me no matter how menial, you have some shit luck when it comes to summoning

File: 3453460345.jpg (381KB, 1337x2048px) Image search: [Google]

381KB, 1337x2048px

>>160943378
We've tried before and it's too hard to make fun. The HGW doesn't translate too well to a tabletop game since combat between two servants is reduced to numbers and stats and normally only lasts a few rounds. Works a little better if players form a team like in F/A though since they don't have to scheme behind each others backs. Reducing Servant battles to dice rolls and raw numbers removes half the fun of it and rarely takes into account any of the circumstantial bullshit that happens during fights.

Pshh, nothing personell kid.

I won't function at all unless you give me one creampie a day

File: 1501431847986.png (350KB, 382x419px) Image search: [Google]

350KB, 382x419px

>>160912576
>Kerry from F/Z summons you
>you tell him that the grail is fucked
>Kerry takes Illya and runs
>happy end

>>160935626
And all of those people are Mages. Some more legendary than others but just being a part of a Grail War probably qualifies you for some sort of role.

>>160932632
It's more than that. We also created the 5 Star Rank specifically to give our highest generals leadership in the event of a tie between allied forces. So Washington doesn't just have the power to mobilize America, but he could realistically mobilize allied forces across the world.

Guess that's his NP.

>>160948163
I'm going to need a lot of mana to protect you. That won't be a problem will it, Master?

>>160913751
White Death guy as Archer, Hitler as a bloody Rider, Einstein or Crowley as Caster. And even already someone like Trump would be their own legend.

What the fuck did I accomplish to be a servant

I'm pretty good at running. You better keep up.

>>160912576
what would such a master of anons use command spells for?

Set me as your favorite now. If you ever change it, I'll kill you.

File: 63658150_p2_master1200.jpg (423KB, 960x1200px) Image search: [Google]

423KB, 960x1200px

Any of us could probably get random summoned as the incarnation of Anonymous, the infamous internet hacker. NP would probably to shitpost other masters into suicide and to get any piece of info.

>>160950165
some sort of special ability to see all servants' true names

File: __berserker_of_el_dorado_and_penthesilea_fate_grand_order_and_fate_series_drawn_by_702_artist__02ffa5472d7d478457d8b65841384adb.jpg (640KB, 589x1435px) Image search: [Google]

640KB, 589x1435px

>>160912576
So her NP is just an extra temporal Mad Enhancement? I see she becomes nuts and beats her opponent.

>>160930684
>even villains like Hitler or Mao and so on, how is it not about them, and instead about their "gadgets"?

Because those people did absolutely nothing on their own, with their own power. Their underlings did everything that's credited to them. No one would even know who these people were, if the propaganda machine didn't artificially meme them into fame.

>>160912576
>hot grill
"I require a ton of mana."

>anything else
"You dun' fucked up."
I then proceed to kill the master.

>>160912576

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

>>160952476
What if the master is a cute girl?

>>160912576
Dostedt?

Why.

>>160912576
Hole goes where ?

>>160950165
>NP called An Hero
>it's an anti personnel NP with the ability of causing the equivalent of a servant being forced by a single command seal to kill themselves, causing death in fairly short order, this effect is more effective the more it is used, and since it's a single target resist or die NP, it's hilariously efficient so can be spammed to hell and back.

>>160912576
AYE YO HOL UP

>>160924702
>not pretending you're the opposite gender

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Death_Negation
I am going to be in so much fucking pain.

>>160954314
[SMACKS LIPS]

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Devil_Hand

Fucking christ. Guess it's what I deserve though.

Where the white women at?

>>160912576
Kay honey, I need some more mana that your skinny ass can't provide, so im hitting the clubs. Don't wait up!

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Dollhouse_Monarchy
Guess we're going to have some fun master.

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Popobawa_Physiology
>User with this ability either is or can transform into a Popobawa (Swahili, "Bat-Wing", plural Mapopobawa), a male spirit whose nocturnal attacks can comprise simple physical assault and/or poltergeist-like phenomena
>but most feared is its tendency toward sexual depravity. They are known for harassing, attacking and sexually assaulting others (often at night), regardless of gender.

I'm alright with this.

>>160935626
>[thing] is said to be impossible
>shortly afterwards, impossible thing happens
This is literally nasu worldbuilding 101 here.

>>160912576
I'm not going to lie, our probability of winning in our current state is quite low.
>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Probability_Computation

As long as the other servants are not too broken, I guess I have a chance.

File: 1501250185355.jpg (540KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

540KB, 1920x1080px

>>160912576
Pic related.

For the Noble Phantasm, I think that a power similar to Kumagawa's Book Maker would make sense. I would bring the opponent to the same level as me and then get my ass kicked nevertheless.

I assume that I am summoned as Anonymous

Is Anonymous' Noble Phantasm Seven Proxies?
Similar to Godhand but if a proxy is slain Anonymous can appear anywhere he wishes after being killed.

Also would I be able to totally mask me and maybe my masters presence? Would I be able to shapeshift into another appearance?

>>160912576
How do I summon Hiroyuki and what's his NP?

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Cosmic_Energy_Physiology
SPACE!

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Charisma_Bestowal

"lets make a deal"

You look like a pretty lame Master, lad

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Threat_Identification

Welp, I guess I'm beyond fucked. It was nice knowing you mage dude/dudette.

File: la pucelle x ange.jpg (193KB, 960x1618px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 960x1618px

>>160959064

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Ignorance_Embodiment
How the FUCK am I supposed to use this

File: 12491291.jpg (52KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 800x600px

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Transcendent_Alien_Physiology

>Immortal
>Reality Warping

which servant you want to kill first. Master?

>>160959757
You just make other servants not want to fight you by simply ignoring you.

>>160959757
By being a manipulative bastard. Long term strategy

>>160915739
FHA was so fucking great, the Ilya scenes were blessed

>Getting summoned as anonymous
>Hack everything and everyone
>Immortal, since anonymous isn't one person, when you die you will turn into some other random citizen and nobody will know about it since you are anonymous

So basically to defeat you they will have to kill all the people in the world to be sure while you will be able to hack shit and mislead them bringing them on the verge of suicide. why not?

File: 1493252574853.png (208KB, 231x363px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 231x363px

>>160912576
You're fucked wait, so am I.

>>160912576
>if a little girl
I will do everything I can for you my queen, let me know your desire.

>if not a little girl
Damn, I wanted a little girl. There is no point otherwise.

>>160960779
Lets also roll to see the power.

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Emblem_Magic
Not bad, I like it.

>>160924047
Yeah, did Saber never think to say
>Yo cunt, what the fuck did you summon me with?
>Yeah can I have that back you assshole?

>>160960557
>Hack the Internet
>send thousands of hitmen after the other masters
>win when the other masters all die in accidents
Alternatively you could just get some plane tickets and then nuke the place the war is happening at with magic hacking to attain the best kind of victory - a technical victory

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/DNA_Replication
Guess I'm cell now? Time to become the perfect being

>>160920101
Stop samefagging you fucking /pol/tard

>>160912576
Kill me now.

>>160961176
What are you going to fucking do though? Track down Arcueid so you can steal her DNA? Servants shouldn't actually have DNA due to being spirits so you are basically fucked unless you track down people with mystic eyes or some shit.

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Satellite_Manipulation
Behold my Noble Phantasm... Gate of Orbital Bombardments.

Also me and my master float up to space in a space station and win by constantly firing missiles at the grail war

>>160913925
If TM did add Simo, they would probably say something along the lines of "he was always able to use magic, he just wasn't aware of it". I believe they have used this excuse for some servants already and it wouldn't be a Huge streatch for him since out of the 600 confirmed sniper kills, most of them if not all where done with out any kind of telescopic sight but instead using iron sights

>>160923552
yet has broken that rule a few times already, hell he broke it in FS/N with Shiro

>>160912576
Alright, who's sick joke was it to summon me as a [Enter Undesirable Class Here]

>>160962154
>Anonymous would make the perfect assassin due to the ability to basically be anyone anywhere
>Get summoned as Caster because the 30 year old virgin wizard meme

>>160961430
Seeing as I need good DNA to do anything, yeah, probably try to find Arcueid. Though, since servants have 'physical' bodies, do you think they might have DNA?

File: 1485075711911.gif (260KB, 300x250px) Image search: [Google]

260KB, 300x250px

>>160962246
>also will lose all their magic once they lose their virginity so cant mana ritual

>>160962374
maybe if you find someone who got a body from the grail like gil

>>160962246
What classes would Anonymous be viable for anyway?
Caster, because virgin meme
Assassin due to anonymity
Berserker due to frequent bouts of rage
Archer, with an arsenal of every weapon ever posted on /k/
Saber, due to katana memes?
Can't think of a lancer or rider

Fuck the grail, let's get rich.

>>160962798
I have a drivers license, do I count as rider? I'm also in the process of getting my racing license

>>160912576
You better fucking belive I got my SaberCYOA build from /tg/ in this summon.

A master is fine too

>>160912576
my name is jeff

>>160912576
"Is Togata back from the movies?"

>>160912576
I need "mana transfer", immediately.

at Ieast I can turn invisible and rob a bank.

>>160912576
I didn't hang myself so I'd have to keep living.

>>160912576
"Couldn't we have the Tsukihime remake instead?"

File: 1499860469335.jpg (48KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 300x300px

>>160912576
Tell my master to get a cataclyst next time if they're so shitty that they gacha summon something like me, then commit sumanai.

>>160940162
Did I just break the holy war? Or am i mega fucked
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Control_Negation

>>160959883
If you have those powers get ready to be mentally fucked up on the level of a Lovecraft protagonist.

>>160962798
Rider-exploding van

>>160964118
Just RURU BUREAKA every other servant and then get killed by somebody with independant action

But yeah just negate everyone else's command seals and continually call your master a cunt and laugh at them because you can just ignore any command seal they use on you

>>160964949
>Rider has the ability to make anything that can count as a vehicle explode remotely
pretty overpowered desu. Especially if you can define a person carrying another person as a vehicle, all you need to do is trick the opponent into getting their master out of harms way.

Rider Anonymous is OP

>>160961912
>telescopic sight but instead using iron sights
He would have been dead in mere seconds with a regular scope due to reflections.

>>160912576
Ey bb. Gib me sum fuck.

>>160914174
>Hitler's noble phantasm

>>160912576
WE WUZ

>>160964963
>>160964118
Can't you also use your power completely ignore the blackening effect of the ichor? You can also reverse it's effects on other people too so everyone can get a physical body now if they want, everyone's a winner.

>>160912576
why

>>160965185
Should of told that to the soviets then, I'm just saying its remarkable for a sniper to get the amount of kills using an iron sight

>>160912576
sup nigga

>>160912602
kekked hard

>>160969882
>should of

please

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Angel_Manipulation
Time for everyone to get fucked by my legions of angels. How can demigods even compete?

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Truth_Manipulation

So, I just won the Grail. I don't even need it.

>>160912576
Yo my nigga brother from another mother!

>>160912576
YOU DUN GOOFED

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Weapon_Summoning

Fuck me. I'm EMIYA or Emiya Alter.

>>160971990
But doesn't EMIYA make the weapons and not summon them?
Isn't that actually just Gate of Babylon? Why are the creators of this wiki such retards?

>>160912576
Shiiiiiiett

>>160913890
Cheese?

>>160972263
He creates them out of nothing and forces them to appear. It's a mix of making and summoning.

>>160912576
"Where's the men's room? Nature calls."

File: puppeteer.gif (1MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 500x281px

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Doll_Manipulation

I demand Touko as my Master

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Judgement_Manipulation?useskin=oasis

I fucking win.

File: 7CNuYXg.jpg (128KB, 1024x576px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 1024x576px

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Currency_Generation
Let's call some hookers and get some blow

>>160975069
Why not also hire an army of mercenaries/magicians to hunt down the other masters? You have infinite money, even Gilgamesh would be a poorfag in comparison.

>>160975177
Well, yeah, but we should get some hookers and blow first.

>>160975244
You should probably take care of business and get rid of the other masters first.
there's like a 90 percent chance one of the hookers will be Rin and then kill your master

>>160975177
> implying Gilgamesh wouldn't have the original of his dosh making NP

>>160975297
>The entire holy grail war ends due to Gilgamesh and this guy getting into a rich off and crushing the town under many billions of tons of gold and silver

File: 1489149897253.jpg (102KB, 645x1000px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 645x1000px

>>160975294
But if she kills my master, I disappear, as does my money making ability. It would really be a conflict of interest for her to oppose us in any way, as she needs that monay.

Besides, hookers and blow are great for entertaining business associates over while pmcs and rouge states bid for our contract.

>>160912576
Allow me to suck your cock

>>160912576
Where's the bathroom?

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Negation

This is pretty broken, I like it.

File: 1500514136375.jpg (43KB, 820x820px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 820x820px

''If we win the grail let's wish for a ham sandwich lol''

>>160912576
"That face when no girl friend shaking my hips family"

>>160912576
O my rubber nen

>>160950165
Oh, like Hassan?
That actually sounds like it could fit the lore.
We all bear the name of the van-exploding boogeyman.

>>160962798
You could bullshit into Rider by claiming that an internet browser counts as a mount.

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Gas_Manipulation
Master, please get a gas mask, I'm about to commit so many war crimes it would make Stalin blush

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Reality_Expulsion
I just got Ea

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Banishment

this seems kind of OP for fate servant mechanics

>>160912576
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE
AND I BRING YOU

FIRE

Hey, want a toothpick?

>>160912576
︎︎︎︎︎︎︎︎︎︎

>>160912576
I can only promise to try.

>>160914101
>tfw im a candidate now
i know the mistake of saying something like this but i once i start typing i gotta post

File: Fate-Stay Night - Saber Anime is Shit.jpg (430KB, 1031x749px) Image search: [Google]

430KB, 1031x749px

>>160912576
Don't talk to me if you haven't seen at least over 1000 anime.

>>160914101
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Poole
Strongest Servant found.

>>160977699
You made me really curious now, anon.

>>160912905
He never said they wouldn't exist, he said it would be harder for them to become heroes (this is also a way to not use people whose family could sue his ass). If they are OC, it's all free game.

>>160977699
stop shitposting, moot

>>160912744
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKING FUCK

BERR
ZERR
KERR

>>160977757
What's moot's NP? Unlimited Autism Works?

>>160977747
>At least over

>>160978129
It's obviously the Banhammer, the ultimate anti-unit noble phantasm that unavoidably removes the target from existence with infinite range which no noble phantasm other than Anonymous' Seven Proxies can counter

File: Snake.jpg (56KB, 900x506px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 900x506px

>>160912576
Kept you waiting, huh?

>>160977798
just a shit tier person, people know my name but dont really care

>>160940162
This screams Chuuny
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Fire_Constructs

>>160978557
Well I'm still curious but I won't really ask any further.

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Optimal_Finesse
So EX Rank Luck I guess? We're fucked.

File: fukken why.jpg (52KB, 275x275px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 275x275px

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Nothingness_Attacks
It's literally fucking nothing.

File: IMG_0096.jpg (130KB, 720x960px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 720x960px

And you thought Manjew was the only no star.

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Universal_Manipulation
Ez game

I hope you aren't one of those guys who has to fuck to transfer mana

File: yes its massively upscaled, what of it.png (1004KB, 778x1088px) Image search: [Google]

1004KB, 778x1088px

>>160912576
On a massively unrelated note, that Berserker sure is cute.

>>160912576
I would ask what kind of sick, convoluted twist of fate would give me enough notariety posthumously for a literal who like me to have made it to the throne of heroes.

BAZINGA

File: 1501204226005.png (594KB, 589x1435px) Image search: [Google]

594KB, 589x1435px

>>160979947

>>160982366
Where's the red eye version?

File: 1501226515030.png (582KB, 700x876px) Image search: [Google]

582KB, 700x876px

>>160982366

File: 1501331054806.jpg (141KB, 960x1200px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 960x1200px

>>160982818

>>160953759
Take out her heart obviously. Mongrels don't deserve them.

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Omnireplication?useskin=oasis
Pretty good

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Mathematical_Intuition
All my attacks are mathematically precise.
Evasion is perfect.
I can be more broken than the Calculator job in Final Fantasy Tactics.
I can pull a Sephiroth and summon a super nova with mathematical equations.

>>160935626
You forgot
>j/k here's Shiki with a knife
>j/k here's Shiki with her katana

>>160912576
We need to start booking your fight away from this place because you're definitely not winning.
>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Sanity_Transferal
So i'm essentially a hard counter against the berserker class but useless against everyone and everything else. Nice.

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Grim_Reaper_Physiology
WHATS UP FEELS LIKE PIE WATERMELON!

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Damage_Reflection?useskin=oasis
I think I'm broken, as long as my master doesn't have shit Mana so I can keep using it.

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Cold_Weather_Manipulation
Eh, definitely useful but pretty boring.

File: zASsSV6.png (87KB, 419x276px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 419x276px

>>160912576
Gimme some whisky my dude

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Form
Well. I guess I'm a Berserker.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*deep breath*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

File: 89959609_o5.png (4MB, 1300x1755px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 1300x1755px

>>160940162
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Cloud_Generation

>I can make rain, thunder and fog.
>I can't actually control the rain, thunder and fog.
Sorry Master, we're fucked.

>>160987684
Feels like the kind of power that gets countered by that one magic/NP that has just the right status/effect in a Nasu story.

>>160970063
>Angels are supposed to be endless.
>They are all stronger than humans and have shit like fire swords.
Jesus. Some anons got some pretty broken power, but this one would ruin a HGW on the first night.

>>160912659
I say this, because it's the truth.

File: True name - Alberto Barbosa.jpg (61KB, 614x601px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 614x601px

>>160912576
AAAAYOOOOOOOO AYOOO
*pawns his noble phantasm*
SO HOL UP HOL UP
*steals command seals*
SO U BE SAYIN
*instinctively looks around for Assassin*
WE WUZ SERVANTOS AND SHIEEEET
*demands reparations for servitude*

>>160940162
If my post number is a 1, Saber.
If 2, I'm Archer.
If 3, I'm Lancer.
If 4, Rider.
If 5, Caster
If 6, Assassin
If 7, Berserker
If 8, 9, or 0, I reroll.

Oh and by the way, my NP?

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Freedom

Don't stop me nowwwwwwwww

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Dragon_Physiology
Good news master, it seems we are the main characters.

"can shiki kill [me]?"

File: WE WUZ ASCENSIONS AND SHIEEET.jpg (200KB, 748x947px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 748x947px

>>160940162
oh come on Grail-kun

File: 1470992204413.png (371KB, 832x868px) Image search: [Google]

371KB, 832x868px

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Pectukinetic_Combat
I'm a man, how does even his work?
>>160912576
My wish for the grail is to turn my master into a horny loli.

>>160912576
How shitty are you to summon a common NEET seriously fuck the grail just kill yourself

>>160940162
>http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/
i think im broken

File: The Bulldozer.jpg (225KB, 1422x1561px) Image search: [Google]

225KB, 1422x1561px

>>160912905
not all servants are in the good side of history

>>160912576
You fucked up
You fucked up
You fucked up

>>160914174
You must be joking, it never happened. ALL FAKE

File: macgyver_primary.jpg (130KB, 1100x685px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 1100x685px

>>160912905
> Modern legends don't exis-
He can fix a nuclear reactor with a chocolate bar. Not white chocolate though that would be dumb.