Attack on Titan know-nothings' discussion

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For those who are watching the cartoon but have never read the comic .... any idea wtf is going on? What do you reckon the titans actually are? Some sort of weapon that's gone wrong? We seem to have:
> people who happily turn into titans
> people who are forcibly turned into titans (which seems a foolish thing to do to your criminals, surely you're just making a rod for your own back?)
> permanent brainless titans
> one big monkey titan
> titans who are actually walls
> a flying whale (I keep seeing him on the opening credits)

And is this our future? Did the titan problem cause us to regress to 17th century technology? Or is this an alternate timeline where titans were invented in the 17th century so all the technology we know and love, such as rollerskates, filofaxes and Texas Instruments Speak & Spell never even happened?

Speculate wildly.