Your life sucks, right?

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>>158826415

>>158826415
>Do we have a deal?
I just wanna be loved

>>158826415
Failed normalfag please, don't project your insecurity onto me. The only problem I have with my current situation is that normalfags and failed normalfags like you post on /a/ more than they should.

>>158826415
I wish to posses all abilities and items of the caster class servant Medea as shown in Fate Stay Night

so long sucker

>>158826415
Retroactively remove me from existence. Less entropy from me, good for you, no need to hear another magical girl bitching, it's a steal.

Important clarification, can I fight these witches with my dick?

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>>158826598
Is that your wish?

>>158826598
With a risk of losing your head

>>158826598
Reminder that the "witches" are other fat virgins from this thread who had their soul crystal corrupted.

>>158826638
Well if it's good enough for praying mantis and spiders, then it must be worth the risk

>>158826598
>implying that Kyuubei would waste its time contracting with a boy

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>>158826415
OK. I wish for one billion more wishes.

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>>158826843
Try again, friendo

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>>158826881
But you said wish for anything? Going back on your promises? But, fine, I wish for your whole shitty maho no shisha species to be erased from existence without any chance of coming back.

>Kyubey: Woooooow, why do these humans always complain about the contracts? I mean, they don't ASK about all the terms of service BEFORE accepting the legally binding contract. Gooooooood, why are all these middle school girls that don't have the legal capacity to accept create or accept contracts under US law so STUPID.

>>158827016
Fuck off shark.

>>158827016
>implying that you have the power to pull off a wish that huge

>>158827047
>muh US law
Argument invalid

>>158827215
Nigga, there's mahou girls around the world.

>>158826415
Would you say you are dealing in good faith from my perspective, excluding the impact of my own lack of knowledge, and given the assumption that I am a selfish person?

If so, we just might have a deal.

>>158827258
>be American mahou
>get shot

>>158827258
US law doesn't mean shit.

>>158826415
So what's the average life expectancy for these "magical power people"?

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>>158827352
I guarantee you that every last letter of this contract is in good faith and will be executed without surprise alterations, exactly as stated in the terms above. We fully understand that humans are generally selfish creatures, but any burdens caused by the selfish nature of any wish you might make are not our responsibility.

>>158827373
kek
>>158827381
What do you mean?

Question: Will "Witches" always be called as such?

I wish for an incorruptible indestructible soul gem.

I wish anime was real

>>158826881
Could I ask to become entirety of the Incubator race?

>>158827466
Seems reasonable. I will have a tuna sandwich, then, thanks.

>>158827509
Incubators are above the law, and can most likely summon enough power to override any feasible force the government could muster to enforce it. If the US government ever tried to interfere with the incubators, the country would end up being a slave state to them or worse.

>>158827539
The name "Witches" was assigned by the magical girls themselves, and will probably remain so for a while unless someone comes up with a snazzy new nickname.

t. Kyuubey

I wish for a bigger dick

>>158826415
I wish you'd fuck off.

>>158826415
I wish for all of /a/ to become fustrated christmas cakes.

>>158827546
>become a potato

>>158826415
I wish I could turn other magic girls suffering into damage to my body.

>>158827685
Why

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>>158827685
Hardcore M. I like it.

>>158827662
>turning a bunch of lolis into old hags
So this is a villain worse than kyuubey, huh?

What is the most monkey's paw-proof wish?

>>158827797
Happiness. No matter what the result is, you'll like it.

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>>158827671
How?

>>158827893
having a 100% unbreakable soulgem has a cost. nothing is free. the only way a soul gem is un-corruptible is if you're literally too potato'd to feel the emotion of despair. enjoy the lobotomy.

>>158826415
Can you kill me instantly/painlessly and make everyone forget that I ever existed?

>>158827797
about 350 yen

i wish i was never born
monkey paw that shit

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>>158827930
Meh already a potato with no feelings. At least im immortal. Thanks QBay.

>Otherwise you wouldn't be posting here!

Wrong. I post here with my friends, we shitpost in threads about shows we don't watch while doing drugs.

>>158827930
>what is apathy

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>>158828017

>>158828080
Open your eyes. This isn't a secret club anymore. It's something normalfags participate in too.

>>158827975
What can you do with 350Y?

>>158827685
nice strategy, assuming other magic girls will feel gratitude and help you

but you'll never get enough grief seeds to sustain yourself for very long even with help

>>158828142
Nothing. Y isn't a currency ¥ is. By that wish you'd get 350 letter Ys.

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>>158828134

What if you wished for Superman/Greed invincibility?

>>158828207
>Be magical boy in a city of magical girls
would this situation lead to you being the harem king, or the harem slave?

>>158828214
exactly what I've always wanted!

>>158828650
Wish granted
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Now get to fucking work.

>>158826794
>>implying that Kyuubei would waste its time contracting with a boy
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11928613/1/Magical-Girl

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>>158826415
I wish that I could turn back time.

>>158828907
Homura pls

>>158828405
City fucktoy

>>158828903
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11928613/1/Magical-Girl
/a/'s current state.

>>158828780
What weapons and powers do I get?

>>158826415
Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't all wishes doomed to fail? Think he said something like that in ep 11

>>158829236
They only fail because you didn't think them through enough or weren't strong enough to carry them out. Kyubey dindu nuffin.

>>158829236
You get exactly what you wish for but it's subject to entropy it ain't free or conjured by magic the payment is you're inevitable spiral into despair and becoming a witch. It's just ironic that a Lot of peoples wishes actually aid the whole spiral thing.

I wish I had a sandwich.

>>158827047
>Kyubey contracts a girl
>Lawyers step in for flawed contract
>Entire season is just Magical Girls sitting in a court room while Kyubey and Lawyers argue it out
>Magical girls are sent after the witches... to bring them in as witnesses

>>158829503
The next Ace Attorney game sounds hardcore

>>158828903
Why does this exist? Why?

>>158829503
>>158829547
FUND IT

>>158829624
tumblr

>>158828907
But now the guilt is all mine

>>158826415
I'd wish to be able to control my fate and the fate of my comrades. As in having the ability to manipulate events to a degree where I can prevent a [BAD END] no matter what.

>>158829992
You get precognition. Don't abuse it.

>>158828907
What would have happened if Madoka wished to save Homura and they both had the exact same powers?

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>>158829236
It's kind of vague how it works honestly
And of course he may just be bullshitting

>>158829420
>sandwich is poisoned
>someone you care about was killed somehow while preparing it
>receiving the sandwich triggers a series of unlikely events that results in the ruination of your life

>>158827193

A lie within a lie ;)

>>158828907
You get 20 seconds.

>>158831663
Being able to reverse time by 20 seconds whenever you wanted wouldn't be a bad ability

>>158832052
it's like the finale to Galaxy Quest

What is the most OP power?

>>158826415
I wish to be a super cute magical girl forever.

>>158827573
The plot can only work if there's already collusion between the governments and the incubators at least on the local level. Otherwise the clusters of missing girls would attract attention from various law enforcement agencies. Eventually they'll find a magical girl willing to talk. This was even more true in the past, since many magical girls were royalty.

>>158830047
They'd power each other up until a witch capable of destroying the entire universe is created.

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I'd like to be able to steal people's abilities and knowledges.

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>>158832678
I want to steal people's hearts!

>>158832602
Probably works like Gen'ei where magical gurls and victims are literally erased from memories at the time of death.

>>158830418
If that's his "fail proof" defense then his entire species deserves genocide.

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>>158832768
Well except that's clearly not the case

>>158832602
Most victims aren't mahou shoujo, they're people who got sucked into barriers and those are usually ruled as suicides. Also, it's not like most witches come from magical girls, I'd wager that most are grown from escaped familiars that the mahou shoujo don't hunt down because they want their grief seeds.

>>158826415
I want to be able to stay hard and cum for however long I choose.

>>158832930
I don't ever want to see a Penis Witch thank you very much. That Labyrinth would look like Geiger and Freud's dreamscapes smoked PCP.

>>158833125
Somewhere out there there's probably a labyrinth that looks exactly like that, though

>>158826415

Only girls need easy ways, a men need will power and bravery to make dreams come true. So you know, don't be faggot qubei, be men. Face your fate and be brave.

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>>158828254
Sauce good sir

>>158826415
Can I wish for an instant death that could pass as an accident?

>>158826415
I wish to always be happy

>>158834675
>there's no way this could go wrong!

>>158826415
I wish for a foolproof solution to faustian bargains.

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>>158835039
>The answer is to never accept one
Sasuga

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>>158826415
No, not really. Thanks anyway Mr Magical Bunny

Do I turn into a cute girl as part of the wish or do I have to wish for that specifically?

Who do I contract with if I want to be a Kamen Rider?

>>158826415
Yes.

>>158826415
I wish to be able to grant my own wishes subconsciously perpetually from the time this wish is granted until entropy without fail or corruption of my desires.

>>158835614
What is your wish?

>>158835254
>Bunny
He's clearly a squirrel

>>158835876
He's clearly a cat

>>158835500
Becoming a cute girl must be the wish itself. Also, rebooting your existence as a cute girl isn't a part of the deal unless you specifically ask for it, so if not you'll have to explain to your family and associates why/how you did an overnight gender reassignment. But, if you do choose for your existence to be rebooted, you'll be meguca from the very moment of your birth. Newborns can't fight witches. You won't last very long, without any way to acquire grief seeds with which to cleanse your soul gem.

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>>158826415
I wish I could talk to him without stammering.

>>158835976
When will you people learn that wishing for senpai to notice you inevitably leads to NTR?

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>>158836315
Let's face it the NTR was a given from day 1

>>158826415
If he can grant any wish, why can't he just magic entropy away?

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>>158826415
Fuck off QB

>>158835904
I've seen people say he looks like a dog.

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I wanna be really cool

>>158826632
I want something... something Genuine! :')

>>158826415
i wish witches to stop existing

>>158826415
I want to be a cute little girl.

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>>158826415
I wish to be omnipotent desu. And I mean omnipotent, not nigh-omnipotent. Also no "haha here you became omnipotent but you accidentally ended your own existence as soon as you became omnipotent" bullshit or any other catches; you're not supposed to be a fucking genie.

>muh karmic destiny
Fuck off

>>158826415
I want my karma to always be positive

I wanna be Madoka

>>158840448
I wanna be Sayaka

I wish the Evangelion world was real, and witches became Angels

>>158826415
>you'll be obligated to fight supernatural creatures
But what if I don't?

>>158842009
Then you eventually enter a downward spiral of increasing despair until your soul gem hatches into a grief seed and you become a witch.

>>158826415
I wish I was the leader of all witches.

>>158826415
I wish all humans older than 12 were turned into healthy, lesbian, 12 year old girls.

>>158842115
What if I wish to never be miserable?

>>158842173
Then you'll be a happy witch.

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>>158842196

>>158842236
Yes, but with less peaceful sleeping and more gleefully trying to mindfuck people into killing themselves or others.

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I wanna
GET BIG C'MON!!

Can I wish to be a girl?

i wish to become whatever kyubey is

>>158826415
I wish to become a witch that is only capable of harming other fully transformed witches, applying that same restriction to those I wound.

I wish to fuck every QB in the ass simultaneously, forever!

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>>158829547
How much potential would Rayfa have as the daughter of a monarch?

>>158826415
>one wish
for me to not to be obligated / convinced to work EVER
>hearts content
A shitton of money that allows me to live the rest of my life without worries

inb4: You cannot scape the contracts statements
Well its OP's fault for write such easey to escape contracts

I wish for anime hair

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>>158838417
He's obviously a weasel.

>>158843280
That's two wishes, dumbass, pick one

>>158826415
I want to be fondly remembered after my death

What happens if I don't waste a minute of fighting witches and take over some international criminal syndicate instead and become rich and powerful in more ways than one?

>>158848282
on fighting witches*
Finger slipped

>>158848282
As a meguca, merely staying alive gradually drains your soul gem. So unless you take at least some time off your crime syndicate job to acquire grief seeds, you're fucked

>>158848375
It's possible to hold of witching out with sheer will power and determination. Homura did it.

Just do some deep lamaze breathing every day and I'm sure you'd be fine.

>>158848426
Homura didn't do it, she always had a stock of grief seeds available and was about to witch at the end of the series, but Madoka showed up to salvage her despair.

Basically, if you try to shirk your responsibilities as a magical girl and never fight witches, your soul gem will empty and you'll turn into a witch. You have no choice but to play along.

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>>158848465
Wrong.

>>158849533
All the determination in the world wouldn't save her if she didn't reverse the ever-present drain on her soul gem caused by keeping her body running. Mami explains this in the first movie.

>>158849586
I'm sure that works well for you.
Just blocking out and ignoring all the things in the world that prove you wrong. Like the image you're replying to.

>>158849672
That would be for when she gave up. Lets say she took a vacation and did no witch hunting, her soul gem would still need grief seeds as explained by kyuubey. Simply maintaining their bodies consume a minute amount of magic.

>>158849672
There are two different ways you can witch out you faggot.

1. You despair.
2. You run out of magic.

The first is how Sayaka and Homura turn into witches. The second is how Madoka witches after defeating Walpurgisnacht. The danger with option (2) is that your soul gem is always always passively draining magic power to keep your body running. Posting examples of option (1) like they act to disprove the existence of option (2) makes you look like an idiot. Fuck off.

>>158849802
>>158849800
You clearly didn't watch this series very well.
There are two power sources in this series, and neither of them are just "magic". There's hope and despair. They are what power magical girls and witches respectively. Despair is what removes hope from the soul gem. So, a magical girl going full "despair power" is what you are calling "running out of magic". The whole point of the series is that hope and despair must always balance out.

The same way Madoka got more hope (karmic destiny) with each time loop, Homura got more despair (what powers witches). This is why Homura could turn into a witch that was equally as powerful God-Madoka. Homura was not using grief seeds to off-set this mass amount of despair power, she was doing it with determination (hope), as explained by Kyuubey. The small amount of grief seeds that were available could not have off-set the total amount of despair that was in her soul gem. Because, again, she had despair equal to God-Madoka's hope power.

Now, feel free to fuck off.

>>158850081
>There are two power sources in this series, and neither of them are just "magic". There's hope and despair.
If that were the case, grief seeds would be completely unnecessary, and Madoka would not instantaneously become a witch after OHKOing Walpurgisnacht.

>>158850081
So who the hell said that they consume little magic to maintain their bodies? Did the show lie to me? Do they not need grief seeds at all?

>>158850167
>>158850199
>If that were the case, grief seeds would be completely unnecessary
Wrong, because not everyone has insanely strong will power.

Just like how you're not as smart as me, other magical girls could not maintain themselves through fortitude alone.
All people are not created equal.

>>158850081
>being this fucking stupid
Did you miss the whole plot point of Homura and Kyoko trying to push grief seeds onto Sayaka because they were concerned that she wasn't purifying her soul gem as her magic usage drained it? Did you miss the part of the show where Kyubey explicitly tells Homura that Madoka's 1-shotting of Walpurgisnacht drained her of her magic and thus she became a witch immediately after the fight? Did you miss the basic exposition at the start of the show where Kyubey tells the meguca in no uncertain terms that they are duty-bound to use grief seeds to purify their soul gems, and that if they don't, their magic usage will corrupt them to the point of disaster? Boy you sure are fucking stupid. Please feel free to stop posting at any time.

>>158850300
Read the post directly above yours.

Also, your point about Madoka one shotting Walpurgisnacht has nothing to do with what's being talked about.

The reason Madoka must become a witch after it's destroyed is because all hope and despair must remain equal. When Walpurgisnacht is destroyed, all those despair disappears, and Madoka being the next biggest source of energy replaces it.

>>158850294
>Wrong, because not everyone has insanely strong will power.
Madoka does.

>>158850579
>Also, your point about Madoka one shotting Walpurgisnacht has nothing to do with what's being talked about.
Yes it does. Madoka doesn't despair when she kills Walpurgis. In fact, the act of killing it was Madoka's big display of hope, which was validated by actions. At no point does despair, or failure, enter into the equation. Madoka, and also Homura, lose control over their gems because the act of killing Walpurigsnacht drained their gems of power. Hence Madoka becoming Krimhild Gretchen after purifying Homura's soul. Watch the show sometime.

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>>158850830
>>158850822
Do you just, like, not read anything at all? Look at the post you're replying to.

>At no point does despair, or failure, enter into the equation.
It does. Because, again, all hope and despair must remain equal.
It's also later stated when Madoka becomes "god" that her wish is also bringing fourth and equal amount of despair as it is hope.

Really, you're not nearly as smart as you think you are. Just stop.

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>>158850830
Hope and despair must always be equal.
Madoka destroying the despair that is Walpurgisnacht (a large source of despair in the universe) means her hope (Madoka's hope, a large source of hope in the universe) must become despair.

>>158850961
>It's also later stated when Madoka becomes "god" that her wish is also bringing fourth and equal amount of despair as it is hope
And she smites the fuck out of it.You can argue that that the despair falls upon Homura, but even in that case, Homura's witch isn't nearly as powerful as it ought to be, and is subsequently replaced by love. Which actually refutes another thing you bring up here--
>>158850081
>This is why Homura could turn into a witch that was equally as powerful God-Madoka
Homullily isn't.
Homucifer is not a witch, nor is she powered by despair.

>>158851126
Despair isn't an active agent in the universe that possesses you like a ghost when it's previous vessel was destroyed, you tard. It's an emotion felt by humans when they fuck up. Kyubeys goal is to just wait until the mental strain of being meguca causes the girls to have a breakdown, there is nothing like a despair law of electromagnetism that forces hope sources to spontaneously combust into despair upon killing witches. At most, you might be able to make the claim that having a sullied soul gem makes you feel super shitty and thus predispose you to feeling despair. But if your claim is that using magic power does not corrupt soul gems, you need to stop copypasting collages that you found online and rewatch the show. They tell you explicitly that this happens

>>158851141
Homullily isn't her true witch form, it's her dream world "witch" form. Her soul gem was not actually broken at that point.

>And she smites the fuck out of it
No, she just prevents it from taking control, e.g. her becoming a witch. And that is a result of the loop hole made by her wish. There is constantly more despairing being made as result of her wish.

Really, just stop and accept that you are wrong.

>>158851418
The dream world is equivalent to the barrier that would have manifested in the physical world if it was not constrained by the isolation field and not taken by the Law of Cycles.

>No, she just prevents it from taking control, e.g. her becoming a witch
Then how do you reconcile the fact that Madoka could not do this in any previous timeline?
>There is constantly more despairing being made as result of her wish
Utterly false. Magical girls are taken before they can despair.

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>>158851630
>>158851406
I like how you intentionally avoid the part about how Homura's soul gem is not yet broken, thus Homulilly literally can't be her full witch form.

You clearly have no interest in having an argument in good faith (which I knew from the start), you just want to scream at people that they are wrong.

Anyway, here, I drew a picture for you because you have a hard time understanding things. Note how Kyuubey says "it's only natural" for her to become a witch. That is because, again, all hope and despair in the universe must remain equal. If there is more hope than despair, then then some hope will become despair. Vice versa as well.

>Then how do you reconcile the fact that Madoka could not do this in any previous timeline?
You literally don't even read what you're replying to. Her wish was not to be become a concept in any previous time lines, thus why I stated her wish is the loop hole.

I'm done replying to you, enjoy having the last word. Because again, you clearly can't read and will not have any conversation in good faith.

>>158851940
And I like how you intentionally avoid the fact that Homucifer is neither a witch nor is powered by despair.

Anyways, the physical act of breaking a soul gem does not increase despair, which is a measure of power of a witch. Therefore there is no reason Homulilly would be weaker inside the soul gem than outside.

You are trying to argue that the destruction of a witch will systematically transfer that witch's despair upon the magical girl, which makes no sense. You also previously claimed that a magical girl could stave off becoming a wish by simply having hope-- except that isn't congruous with your logic-- if a girl is creating hope, where is the equivalent despair?

You also conveniently ignore the entire part of the series regarding the upkeep and the use of magic. "It's only natural" that she becomes a witch because she no longer has the power to maintain her human form after using it to destroy "the greatest enemy."

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>>158852578
I didn't avoid anything, I already explained how that's wrong. And of course Homura is still a witch at the end. The same way Madoka is still a magical girl. And of course Homura's witch form is powered by despair. The only thing that makes Madoka and Homura different is that they have the power to spread their witch labyrinth/magic circle across the whole universe. Which your average witch and magical girl obviously can't do.

>"It's only natural" that she becomes a witch because she no longer has the power to maintain her human form after using it to destroy "the greatest enemy."
Accept she didn't use up all her magical power in the later time lines. She had much more power by the end, because Kyuubey states that Madoka becoming a witch makes them meet their "energy quota". And what that means, is that the difference in conversion between her hope and Walpurgis's despair was put towards stopping heat death. Obviously after part of Madoka's hope was converted to despair to off-set what was destroyed when she killed Walpurgis.

Now, this is my last reply, for real.

>>158852935
>Now, this is my last reply, for real.
You will reply to this post

>>158852989
Just to bother you, because you clearly care a lot about having the last word. I just wanted to explained how I didn't avoid answering anything, so you can't even pretend we're the same.