Tell me a joke /a/non.

my life

my life

my life

my life

A man walks into a bar. He says, "ouch."

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>>158478586

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Kill Me Baby was a good show.

>>158478586
Guts walks into a bar. At the end of the bar past the barman is a jar of twenty dollar bills and Rapehorse. So Guts sits down and has a couple of drinks, but he keeps glancing down at the end of the bar. Finally he asks the bartender what the deal is with the Jar and Rapehorse.

"Well you see, I'm running a game." the bartender explain. It costs twenty dollars to play, but if you can make Rapehorse laugh you get the whole jar."

So Guts takes him up on the offer, puts a twenty in the jar, and thinks for a moment. Then he leans over and whispers something into Rapehorses ear. Rapehorse immediately burst out laughing and the bartender reluctantly hands over the jar.

So a few weeks later Guts visits the bar again. Sure enough, the Jar is filled with twenties again and Rapehorse is still standing next to it. Guts wants to play the game again expecting an easy win, but the bartender stops him.

"The game is a little different this time." he says. This time, you have to make Rapehorse cry."

So Guts, not to be put off, puts another twenty in the jar and thinks a moment. Then he leans over and shows rapehorse something the bartender can't see. Rapehorse immediately bursts into tears to the bartenders shock.

As Guts takes the jar of twenties the bartender stops him.

"Yo have to tell me." he said, "How did you make rapehorse laugh and cry? I didn't even think horses could do those things.

"Well," Guts says, "To make him laugh, I told him my bag is bigger than his. To make him cry, I proved it.

ore wa inochi

>>158478586
you're life

Their Lives.

My life, my life, now I speak of it as of something over, now as of a joke which still goes on, and it is neither, for at the same time it is over and it goes on, and is there any tense for that? Watch wound and buried by the watchmaker, before he died, whose ruined works will one day speak of God, to the worms.

My sex life

Last night I took a Viagra, but it got stuck in my throat. This morning I had a stiff neck.

Haruhi is definitely getting a season 3!

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>>158478586
I love you.

>>158480737
I laught

>>158478586
Why did the Yasuna cross the road?

A trucker is driving down the road when he sees a black dude with his bike wanting to hitch a ride. He says "I don't have any space in the cab but you can go in the back where I'm delivering all the bowling balls." He happily hops in the back.
An hour later the trucker is pulled over for speeding, the officer is about to issue the ticket but then says "let me just check the back first." The trucker obliges. The cop sees the black dude, the bowling balls, and the bike and runs back up to the trucker scared and flipping out and says "you get the hell out of my county RIGHT NOW." The trucker drives off.
The officer gets back to his car, his partner asks, "what happened out there? Why'd you let him go?"
The cop says, "you'll never believe i mant, that fucking maniac was delivering a whole bunch of nigger eggs and one had already hatched and stolen a bike!"

>>158478586
Two years worth of glop.

>>158479470
The ED is catchy as fuck

What's tye difference between Jesus and Mexicans?

Jesus doesn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over him.

>>158479470
this but unironically

What do you call a floating baby?
Dead.

>>158484454
Why?

The chances for a KMB season 2.

Knock knock.

>>158485694
Who is there?

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Tsundere makes a kickstarter and says "i-it's not like I want you to fund me, b-baka!!"

then mc says "that's fine I'm not gonna be a backer so don't call me that"

>>158485736
The accusative interrogative pronoun.

>>158485694
>>158484454
>starts a joke
>people ask what you want them to ask
>don't finish the joke

>>158485736
Two!

>>158485758
The accusative interrogative pronoun who?
>>158485783
Two who?

Knock knock.

>>158484502
>a whole bunch of nigger eggs
You got me.

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>>158485804
>The accusative interrogative pronoun who
>who
It's "whom", you fucking simpleton.

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>>158485804
2hu hijack lol!

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>>158485848
>>158485826

>>158485804
Who's there?

>>158478586
Your parents are glad to have you as their son.

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>>158485875

>>158485878
orange

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>>158485897

>>158478586
Life is like a box of chocolates,
It doesn't last as long for fat people.

>>158485938
orange you glad I didn't say banana?

>>158485951
Okay, that's a good one.

>>158485994
I never got this one

>>158485994
Having worked at a school full of Minions-obsessed kids, yes. Yes, I am glad.

>>158486021
Orange sounds like aren't you. Its a hard joke to tell.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

>>158486021
Generally, you're supposed to start with several other knock-knock jokes with "banana" being there, and THEN do the orange bit.

>>158486021
You're supposed to say that banana's there for half a dozen times before finally saying orange.
He fucked it up.

>>158486039
>Orange sounds like aren't you.
wow that's a stretch

>>158486050
To get to the other side.
It's funny how few people don't realize that this is a suicide joke.

>>158478586
Your wiafu

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>>158486050

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>>158486061
>>158486056

>>158486086
I never got this.

Is side= as in sidedish?

>>158486116
the other side == afterlife

>>158486116
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjUIVLYj-9A

Give this a listen. My dad has been listening to this forever and it concerns me a bit.

Why did the duck cross the road? To prove it's not a chicken! [/spoile] ecks dee

>>158486116
Other side of the road/afterlife.

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>>158485938
>Orange The Who
I like you, anon.

>>158480770
doumo inochi-san

>>158480737
That was pretty good.

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>>158485848

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>>158486186
>>158486131
>>158486153
I learn something new everyday

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I know no jokes, but I can show you some magic trick!

>>158478586
flat chests

>>158486522
DONT DO IT

>>158479470
I found it terribly repetative, to be honest. The first episode was the best, then in the following ones they were just relying on the same jokes over and over.

>>158485353
Shoot yourself