When will we finally get an anime about carnivorous christmas cakes?

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>no one has made a cute cakes doing cute/lewd things anime

>>155837067

When Soviet Russia decides to make one.

>>155837067
That sounds like the title of a low budget horror film

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>>155837067
when will people stop liking cupcakes?

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>>155837373
>Tense music starts playing as a panorama shot of Suburbia is shown
>Fade to black
>Cut to a scene of a highschool student doing highschool things
Narrator: He was just an ordinary boy
>Cut to a scene of a nuclear family
Son: Mom, I'm gonna hang out with my friends at the mall!
Dad: Be home before 11, son!
Mom: Be careful!
>Fade to black
>Fade to a low angle shot of a fancy sports car slowly coming to a halt
>As a woman in high heels steps out of the car, the camera scrolls up to reveal pantyhoses, a pencil skirt, a dress shirt & blazer and finally a christmas cake's desperate face
Narrator: But all that is about to change
>Loud, low tone, fade to black
>Shot of a crowd running away and screaming in panic
>Fade to black with another low tone
>Close-up shot of one of the MC's friends in a public bathroom, on the phone
Friend (whispering): I think she's here...
>The scene switches to the MC's perspective
Protagonist: Who's there? What are you talking ab-
>He is interrupted by his friend's loud screams and a mischievous, feminine laughter
>Some more cuts to black and shots of panicking crowds
Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early
>Fade to black
>Inception "BWAAAAAAAM" sounds plays as the title slowly appears in bloody letters
>"Night of the Christmas Cakes"
Narrator: Rated M for Mature

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>>155837666
So is it rape or murder?
Or both?

Cakes are disgusting
If you're 20+ and a virgin/not in a relationship there is something fundamentally off with you

>>155837067
>clumsy carnivorous christmas cake

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>>155837327
Onegai Balalaika-san.

>>155838176
Relationships often end with people breaking up, and they aren't going to rush into another one just to not be alone. Most people don't find their "soul mates" or whatever with the first person they date.

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>>155838506
>Balalaika ends up hiring that porn editing intern she mused about during that one episode
>He's an awkward high school boy with hair trigger erectile responses

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>>155837067
>>155837373

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>>155837666
>Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early
holy shit

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>>155837764
What do you think anon?

>>155837067
Maybe if we form a production commitee.

>series about various heroines from the 90's which are now all delicious christmas cake

>>155839335
>Sailor Moon: Cake

>>155837666
This is pretty hilarious but it's also sad how predictable Hollywood has become.

>>155838780
scary!

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>>155837067
I need this. I wanna lust after 2D women my age now.

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>>155839373
Better?

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>japan keeps stepping up the christmas cakes

soon, cake harems.

>>155839569
And yet, none of the cakes would win the MC bowl.....

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Think she's 25 already? At least she already won the Senpaib Owl.

Who would be even the target group of such a show?

Men who sexualize women of that age group or women who can relate to them?

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>>155839948
>Men who sexualize women of that age group
You bet.

>>155840184
Well, in other medium it would be just plain normal.

Only in anime is that fetish material.

>>155838176
>Being such a living sack of shit that you need someone to support you
Monogamy is church made bullshit, partnership is not a human requirement. Anyone who thinks so is fundamentally broken.

>>155839948
Young men who like women of that age group, Men of that age group, women that relate, me

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>>155840271
Fair point on its own, but this is /a/.

>>155839569
PLEASE.

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>>155839358
What's her special attack?

Agent Aika was the best christmas cake heroine.

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>that one cake character who keeps a partially filled out marriage form with her at all times
Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?

>>155840746
My waifu should be ready to be an actual wife-uh

>>155840746
How I would marry Ashigara.

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>>155841538
See the tutorial on the fan-wiki.

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What about JcaKes? They're "high school girls". Seriously.

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>>155837067
There is a plenty of manga featuring cakes, So, someday. Yakumo-san is a first candidate to be animated.

>>155842955
Well, they certainly drink like high schoolers behind the gym shed during prom night.

But they do it all the time.

I want to be a timid turtle for a ravenous panther.

>>155839358
>literally has a daughter
>and a husband
>cake
Stop using words /a/.

>>155841601
>>155840746
Ashigara is pure sex.

>>155837666
Nicely done.

>>155837666

I read this in Don LaFontaine's voice.

I miss his work dearly.

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>>155844146
[dubious - discuss]

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>>155843285
>first-person POV anime
>go out drinking with two cakes
>wake up the next afternoon in a compromising situation with them both
>"Oh dear, we 'forgot' to use condoms last night. Ufufu~"
Greatest anime of all time (doesn't even need to be hentai).

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>ywn make her feel cute and young like she's chariot again

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>>155845859
She can teach me whatever she wants.

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>>155846175
Now that I think about it, KSM-sensei is kind of the same type too.

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>>155846116

>Ursula shows up in your atelier and says that the Academy is in desperate need of mana transfers and proceeds to convince you to "donate" some of your precious prana
naturally, the wizard MC replies by shouting MUH ROOT or THE ROOT MUTHAFUGGA and kick her out

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>>155846240
Her design is too anime for my taste.

Getting drunk and flirting with a cake must be heaven.

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I want to eat a cake.

>>155846489
Meme isn't actually a cake now that I think of it, but still.

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>>155846459
Just don't accept any open drinks they give you.

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>>155837666
...how much would I have to pay you for this?

>>155840517
Making my dick hard

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>>155837666
Make it happen satan please

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>>155847231
I want her to arrest me.

>>155842955
The overwhelming majority of women in anime tend to be ambiguously in their teens or 20s as the situation demands. Few teenage girls have the bust or hips that women in their 20s do yet it is common to draw "teenagers" as attractive as possible. Anyone complaining about 25 year olds looking "young" is retarded.

>>155847589
I see 15 year old girls these days with fully developed hips/breasts.

>carnivorous christmas cakes
I'm surprised this hasn't become an actual thing, yet.

Like, with all the herbivorous men around and women having problems finding men who want a relationship, you'd think the more desperate women would be hunting down single men and be trying to trap them into marriage.

>>155847644
I don't think I've ever seen women as fully developed as anime girls regardless of age. 3D women are incredibly disappointing in both physique and personality.

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>>155847589
Women are sexy.

>>155847810
You should look at women more often. Many of them have wonderfully wide hips and wonderfully fat tits (and I'm not talking about fat fucks either)

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Whats the best thing to quench my thirst for cakes? Ive been neglecting getting into them for just the right amount of time

>>155846656
Try and stop me.

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>>155847858

I hear they are also quite fond of Haagen Dazs.

>>155847810
Well yeah, I mean, that's the whole appeal of anime. All the females are drawn have curvy and well-endowed bodies and the faces of toddlers to give us a simultaneous "cute" and "sexy" appearance

My thing about cakes is that I'm almost 25 myself so these "cakes" are just normal aged women to me

Coming to a movie cinema near you soon. He was once a popular 80s icon singer, but then he died. Instead of going to heaven or hell George Michael must assume the form of a stressed out, workaholic Japanese Christmas cake who must seduce a shy, awkward virgin young boy before he needs to pass on to the after life because reasons....

The feel good holiday drama of the year, LAST CHRISTMAS

>>155848695
I want to propose to an OL with a tub of Haagen-Dazs

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>>155849307
>almost 25
How nice.
Shino for me.

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>>155849307
Don't feel bad, I am 32. They are young girls to me.

>tfw you will never meet a cake desperate enough to marry you

>>155840280
Your terminal shortsightedness is showing.

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This thread is not sweet enough.

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Post cakes that will NEVER find a man

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>>155853289
Although she has found a boy

>>155852853
>a 27 year old who lies about her age and claims to be 17
>a 26 year old that dresses and acts like a 16 year old

It would probably be more endearing in real life than how it actually works, with 40 year old women trying to pretend they're 20

God I wish I could meet a christmas cake for me to pour affection and attention into.

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>>155854583
>a 27 year old who lies about her age and claims to be 17
>27
Yeah, about that.

>>155854611
We all do buddy

>>155854716
>a 37 year old who lies about being 17 who falls back on claiming she's 27 to anyone who finds out she isn't 17

>>155837666
I heard this in Arin's movie narrator voice goddammit

>>155837067
Isn't that term on its way out, despite being a social stigma?

Why are they considered "useless", even though there are still some guys willing to date them? Age is but a number.

The whole "muh eternal youth" thing sucks.

Sorry for double posting, but can't they just lie about their age? No one can really tell unless they're bad liars.

>>155839282
Rape.

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>>155837666
I swear this looks like Captain Murrue Ramius during her time as a mechanic in Morgenroete.

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>>155855247
>>155855207
Intriguing suggestions

>>155837666
>Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early

My sides are in orbit.

>>155837144
read manga, faggot.

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>>155855029

>>155837666
>Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early
I'm fucking dying, that's so good.

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OL or sensei? (I realize they overlap some, but choose anyway.)

With the popularity of Your Name, will Japan be making more Christmas cakes like Mitsuha?

>>155838665
Oh boy that sounds like a great or the worst time for that boy.

What good manga are focused on cakes /a/? I don't know of any, at all.

>>155860001
I too would be interested.
I'm in a dumpy mood as of late and want to drink warm sake while enjoying a cake story as if I could connect to it. I hate getting older.

>>155838176
some people are too pure for relationships

>>155838176
Get out.

>>155837666
the trips makes it extra sophisticated

>>155837666
>a horror movie produced by Satan
I'd watch it.
>christmas "comes" early
"Hello police? I need to send a search team to help find my fucking sides."

>>155855142
It's a really outdated term, but people like using it anyway. It's been move up to around 30 these days.

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>>155860001
Here's one.

>>155857954

Overworked cake sensei who needs a part time job as an ol to pay for her booze addiction

>>155862069
>booze addiction
I'd rather it be food addiction paired with a nice drink.
Wakakozake

>>155847231
Is she a cake? I figured she was around Darkness' age.

>>155848074
What are the chances of her winning? I've been holding off on this one for the longest time because it just seems like the kind of manga that is gonna end up with a lot of teasing and an open ending, especially after the intro of that girl that has a crush on the MC.

>>155862766
literally like barely any progress so I cant even say

>>155862659
Well, they did play the christmas cake jokes.

>>155862766
>>155862861
Title, please?

>>155863311
Yakumo-san wa Ezuke ga Shitai.

took me forever to find cause I fucking cant remember nip for shit

>>155863814
Thank you senpai
>Cute romantic comedy manga about a widow named Shuuko Yakumo who enjoys cooking food for a baseball playing teenager named Shohei Yamato.
It's going to be hard to self insert as this one though

>>155862766
>What are the chances of her winning
Better than if she was in some random harem shit series, that's for sure. The entire story is about their relationship as an overworked teen and a widow housewife who loves making food. So far the progression hasn't been romantic, but about the widow coming out of her shell again in terms of interacting with people and the highschooler getting motivated. It's not as explicitly romantic as some older woman love interests series have been, but it's a lot like them in terms of character focus. So who knows? I recall there being one or two series that were romantic only for the characters to break it off in the end. One where he was an artist? And I think one where the business woman wanted a house husband? I've never read either of them yet, though.

>>155860001
>>155860863
Try this...
Kawaii Joushi o Komasaretai

>>155864326
Thanks. I added it on my list to read. I'll probably dig into it in an hour or two. Where do you find these manga?

>>155848074
>Ive been neglecting getting into them for just the right amount of time
So have all men, that's preciously their problem.

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>>155862069
Or gambling addiction?

>>155865010
Honestly just hit Surprise Me on Mangapanda one day. Was pleasantly surprised.

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>>155860001
Ore x Yome is a classic, Kawaii Youshi was already mentioned and personally I like sensei lock-on.

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>>155857954
Sensei's are for inexperienced, teenage boys.
OLs are for young adult interns and kouhai's.

>>155864326
>>155863814
I finished these both. I prefered the widow one more than the OL one, but I think that is because of how the story was delivered. I bookmarked each story though and will be following them. Thanks anons.

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>Christmas cakes are just another fantasy and not real
>No single woman in her 30s has a good looks, a steady job and nice personality.
>You always have to pick two

End it already

>>155867828
But anon, christmas cakes have shit personalities, that's why they're single

>>155846489
That scene was hilarious

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>>155868293
I havent seen a single cake in anime with a shit personality.

>>155868956
The one in Azumanga was kind of annoying. Long hair, not short hair.

>>155868956
I'll describe 90% of them
>loud annoying drunks
>slovenly and unkempt
>needy and emotionally dependent
that's not a good personality.

This might be projecting a bit, but the reason we like cakes is that they are similar to ourselves. I'm just a lonely bastard who doesn't really take good care of himself, and who finds solace in booze, work, and eating, but I just want someone to love. A female version of that is something that would match up well with myself, hence I like the idea of cakes.

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>>155869041
Are you saying I have a bad personality, huh?

>>155869041
>loud annoying drunks
>slovenly and unkempt
>needy and emotionally dependent
You described 90% of women.

>>155869203

Yes, but the successful ones are better at concealing it until they've gotten married.

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>>155869203
Yeah, but most women are able to get some unlike cakes. That's their magic, cakes know the struggle.
>>155869134
Don't we all anon?

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Does picrelated count as a cake?

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>>155856250

>>155867542
Pretty much.

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Cakes will never be relevant in anime probably, What a horrendous world we live in.

>>155869592
>miguel

>>155870335
that cake is 18

>Wanting an alcoholic
why?

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>>155871070
Birds of a feather flock together

>>155871070
This >>155871127.

>>155837067
never

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>>155873176
>once Taneda returns to work
How rude.

We need Chisato and Shizuka sensei to win in their respective series then we'll be in the age of Cakes.

>>155837067
Persona 5 let's you date your teacher and a gloomy doctor. The greatest anime of all time is a videogame, sad huh?

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>>155871127
>this shota never got more time dedicated to his growing cake harem/love triangle
The real sin of that ending, honestly

Art style and the Santa made me think of Hayate, but apparently this is Lucky Star image.

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>Theres zero good cake doujins

>>155873443
The Cinderella Girls cakes have theirs. Particularly Kaede.

Are there any manga about xmas cake hooking up with other xmas cake? Milfs are fine too.

>>155874035
>Cake yuri

No thanks.

>>155874745
>Not wanting to see two cakes get drunk and have sex with everything but their stockings off.

This guy.

>>155873379
>Gloomy doctor
This game was made for me, I just need to discover it now.

>>155840517
Making everyone who looks at her claw their own eyes out

Never, because the Japanese audience doesn't want it.

>>155878369

That's bullshit. If you make the anime then otaku will buy into it on some level.

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>>155837666
Holy shit. Thanks for that, anon.

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>>155837666
>Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early

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>>155837666
>Christmas "comes" early