>"Kyon! Kyon!" >He turns around >"I know

>>151158201
Announce my undying love to Haruhi.

>>151158201
"I am John Smith."

>>151158201
>You're looking for my brother. See, we're twins.
I just realized how Haruhi would take that, shoot.

>>151158201
Tell her I agree because she's a hundred times more autistic than I could ever be and therefore a hundred times more interesting. She ought to take the compliment.

>>151158271
gg

Tell her that she already has Yuki, and that she herself has some kind of assburgers.

>>151158383

Haruhi has an Autism Card and shows it to the police every time she does stupid shit and gets away with it.

>>151158201
Kyon's real name is Kami
He remarks about his name being "too grandiose" in the book.
Kyon is literally bored god who lent power to haruhi

I try to fuck Nagato.

>>151158489
That doesn't sound anything like Kyon. It's obviously 強魔.

>>151158489
I thought it was Kyorosuke. Or did that translation of the last novel just troll me?

Play along because I love Haruhi

I do what I do in any other instance where I'm supposedly in the same universe as Haruhi, I do everything in my power to kill her and make sure that if it fails I can easily kill myself

>>151158819
>Kyorosuke
Hahahahahaha what the fuck

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>>151159369
>Implying

>>151159369
>and make sure that if it fails I can easily kill myself
>when it fails

ftfy

>>151158201
Have a staring contest with Nagato.

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>let out an earth shaking REEEEE
>take off running as fast as I can
>quickly run out of breathe
>they catch up
>"hm, you kids are tough, huh? let's see if you can handle THIS!"
>*unsheathes katana*
>sneak behind them at incredibly high speed that they don't even notice I moved
>whisper "nothin personel kid, but you've seen my power so now you must die" before cutting all their throats with one graceful swipe of my katana

>>151158201
Tell her I was just pretending to be retarded.

>>151158201
"No, Haruhi. You are the autists."

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Fuck Kyon's ass and then he will be humble.

>>151158201
Quickly get on the Yuki route before Kyon tries anything.

>>151158201
I sez to her "your show a shit, if you hadn't invented moee then maybe manime would still be alive and anime wouldnt be all moeeshit"

then put on my sunglasses, produce a colt 1911 pistol from my pocket holster and shoot her right between the eyes, and then jump out the window onto a motorcycle and drive off while "Violence of the Flame" plays in the background

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>>151158201
Grap Mikuru, dress her in the maid costume, slap on Yuki's glasses and proceed to rape her.
Then tell Haruhi: Yes Haruhi, I'm autistic and love to rape your pet project!