I want to properly tie up Chiri and do lewd things to her.
You're my favorite anon.
I think this is the right cover page
>China spy, and the lady that's always is in the media missing
Bruce Willis was dead the whole time
>Maybe I should just make something up
>And spoil a manga from another magazine.
>The pirate's hidden treasure...
>Was the [bold] treasure of children [/bold] the whole time!
bottom: No it couldn't
Good evening, Zetsubou.
Thanks as always for the chapter and page, Anons!
Every day until you turn pure.
Chiri a cute. And Rin.
What's that below him?
Kumeta's Paper Blogs, from SZS Volume 2
"I have a request."
When that's the first thing that comes out of your mouth it's usually a bad sign.
It means you're going to ask for money, or for the manuscript a few days early, or for time off because it's Comiket. So please don't.
Try putting yourself in the shoes of the person being asked. Think about how the stars must feel to have wishes made upon them.
It's all the more troublesome when it comes to once-in-a-lifetime wishes.
I just don't want to hear it.
I hate people with lots of wishes.
Grant one and they'll always ask for another.
It's never enough. They'll always want more.
I don't make wishes because I don't want to be hated.
But I'll still be hated anyway.
That alone makes me want to make one.
I wonder when I'll use my one lifetime wish?
Can I wait until the next life?
I'd use it right now if it was three lifetimes or so.
This is my once-in-three-lifetimes wish. Please animate it.
Illustration: The "Hand of God" placing Kumeta's request in the "Rejected" box.
"I can't tell what you're really thinking."
I've been told this countless times.
By my parents. By my teachers.
Yesterday I was even told it by a person I had just met.
People tell me to try opening my heart a little bit.
But it's impossible. If I opened my heart and told someone what I really thought, they'd never talk to me again.
It's only because I keep this ugly heart shut tight that I'm capable of interacting with others.
All I'm doing is keeping the lid shut tight on something that smells foul.
It's just good, neighborly manners.
You say you can't tell what I'm thinking, but the truth of the matter is that I don't understand my own thoughts myself.
What is it that I really want to do?
What kind of manga do I want to draw?
What am I?
What are you to me?
Are you anything at all?
I'm very sorry.
My heart has two sets of doors.
The inner one, not even I can open.
An omniscient, omnipotent deity would surely be unhappy, since he would know the truth...
What's more, he would know everything.
That would be nothing but things you wouldn't want to know.
I don't know because I don't want to know.
But that makes getting by in life difficult, so I pretend to know.
I'll speak like I know what I'm talking about.
So come, children. Ask me questions.
Q: How much would it cost Rinka to get all her wrinkles removed?
A: 100 million per wrinkle.
Q: Why do we say maid cafe maids are eternally 17?
A: Because even if they kill someone they'll never be known as anything but Maid A.
Q: Why does Prime Minister Koizumi look like Dr. Mashirito?
A: Because they both evolved from the same amoeba.
...Even just pretending to know is an unpleasant feeling.
Oh yes, that's right. Those of you who bought the tankobon accidentally learned the REAL true nature of the universe, didn't you?
You probably never wanted to know. I'm sorry.
Illustration: The version of the True Nature of the Universe that was printed in the weekly publication.
Social Outcast [Shadow Person]
I don't understand why it caused him so much anger.
To be called the Son of Heaven in the Land Where the Sun Sets...
I'm speaking of the Sui Emperor, of course.
I personally love shadows.
When I move house, I always choose a north-facing room.
I wear sunscreen even when it's overcast.
I always dry my underwear in the shade.
I'm attracted to gloomy women [women with shadows].
I support the shadow Prime Minister (Sakurai Yoshiko).
If there's such thing as a Right to Sunlight, I think there should also be a Right to Shadow.
The shadow puppet boom was a strange period where light and shadow interacted.
Now that it's a moe boom, please don't go shining lights in any shadows.
What do you mean to achieve by shining the light of curiosity in such a place?
I advocate a Right to Shadow.
I hate Nikkō [the name of a town, but also the word for sunlight].
I like the Tōshōgū Shrine in Nikkō, though. Because of the monkeys.
See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.
See no dreams. Hear no reader survey results.
"What do you do for work?"
>So what do you do for work?
"Ouch!" A sharp pain in my right instep...
I thought my chronic gout was flaring up, but it was just my foot being run over.
On Otome Road, by a cart filled to the brim with maidens' dreams.
"It's fine. Go on, don't worry about me."
"Your dreams are the ultimate priority."
But the girl with the lead-colored hair didn't seem to notice.
This road is dangerous. Mr. Policeman, please, crack down a little.
This lawless land of speeding, overloaded maiden carts.
I feel like I'm going to get hit by an actual car if I keep having to dodge them.
The sillouette of her fancy hat is the exalted symbol of a Black Century.
You really have to crack down, Mr. Policeman.
I must have been seeing things.
Ru- ru- ru- Ru- ru- ru ru ru-
Verse 13, "Otome Road" By A RA-BRYU
[a parody of "Road" by THE TRA-BRYU]
The Tipping Point
I just spent eight agonizing hours trying to remember Kakuchi Kako's name.
For some reason, I could only come up with the name of her husband.
My memory capacity these days is about three gabasu. Less than a megabyte.
It gets filled to bursting very easily.
My capacity as a human vessel is just as small.
Even the smallest thing will make me blow a gasket.
I've never held something heavier than a pen.
I know nothing of any world broader than a piece of composition paper.
I brood over the most insignificant things.
But you know, it's because my vessel is so small that I'm so easy to satisfy.
Things that only make you force a smile
Allow me to pass an entire day in happiness.
The character for "vessel" (器) kind of looks like four people killing each other.
It's better to keep your quarrels small.
I can never get the timing right for visiting my parents' house.
While I'm being published I'm too busy to go.
If I go home after publication ends they'll be worrying about me being unemployed, so I can't do that either.
Around Obon and New Year's there would be the possibility of many other people being there, so that also won't work.
I could never face any of them.
There was one time where I finally steeled my resolve and went back, only to find no one at home.
It was kind of a relief.
I enjoyed my childhood home fully and then left before anyone else showed up.
A homecoming can be a good thing sometimes, I suppose.
Illustration: "Alone at your parents' house."
Diebuster is on the TV. The case on the ground is Shadow of the Colossus.
I like the backs of people's heads.
Because you can stare at them without worrying about meeting anyone's gaze.
I absolutely can't look a person in the eyes when I talk to them.
I always walk with my eyes lowered, so as not to meet anyone's gaze accidentally.
But if I'm not careful on rainy days, I sometimes end up meeting my own.
My ugly face reflected in the puddles makes me want to die.
In middle school, my homeroom teacher once got mad at me for not looking at him when I talked.
When I finally looked into his eyes, he said he didn't like the look I gave him and hit me.
I don't look at people when I talk to them anymore.
But if people are still going to tell me to look at them when I speak, then it can't be helped. I'll try to focus on the whites of their eyes.
People with large pupils will probably feel uncomfortable.
But so will people with small pupils.
I'm a person who's pretty used to being criticized, but there are are occasionally times where I feel like I'm being evaluated.
Such as the moment when I happened to witness one of my manga being sold.
The fact that someone was going to read it was so embarrassing I wanted to die, I would have felt even worse if they hadn't bought it.
On a certain day of a certain month, at a certain bookstore in Shijuku-ku—
Two angels were deciding whether or not to buy the first volume of "Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei".
"Hey... Couldn't we use this as a reference for the kimonos in our Gintama book?"
Thank you very much for graciously buying my manga.
I shall put every last bit of my artistic effort into your Gintama reference books from now on, with appropriate zeal and conviction.
>If we don't use it you can just sell it to Book Off.
I thought it was an earthquake, but it was just my body shaking.
Earthquakes are scary, but so is a shaking body.
Sometimes the world starts to look like it's melting.
People on the street look like the i-mode logo.
I feel uneasy.
I can't draw a straight line.
I always get my assistant to fix them for me.
I think I'm walking on the right side of the street, and then all of a sudden I find myself on the left.
I try to draw a sports manga and end up making a dirty joke manga.
Sunday turns into Magazine.
This job that was supposed to be my dream causes me so much despair.
I buy new clothes and then still wear the old ones.
One of my socks is always missing.
Crows always follow me around when I go outside.
I had a dream where I was forced to choose between a life without a roof and a life without a floor.
I chose to live without a floor.
My body began to sink into the earth.
Once you're completely underground, roofs become meaningless.
>I accidentally bought a shirt with one of those little holes in it for your iPod headphones
>Even though I don't have one...
thanks for the read!
Don't you folks think she'd suit being a redhead?
Thank you very much for translating all this stuff without any real reward, Anon.
Though reading these makes me want to give Kumetan a hug.
Maybe, but I don't see any reason to change perfection.
Now I remember.
>tfw you will never practice endlessly with Chiri with the sole intention of reproduction.
Weren't these all already translated?
A "Legal Briefs" best client!
Who did they play? The Cambodians?