/a/. In youth you must have wanted to become a hero. You desired it more than anything else.
Am I wrong?
Fuck off and I command you to bitch slap yourself.
Yes, you are wrong.
I wanted to be a soldier, but not any kind of soldier, a giant robot pilot. Not a gundam, not anything overpowered, just a simple giant robot pilot.
>Implying I am not training right now to become a hero
My only true desire is to be completely comfy in life
I wanted to wear Victorian style dresses. Like the one you wear Saber.
>spend entire life becoming a "hero" and killing thousands
>die a heroic death
>get summoned back to life by a teenager and have to do what they say
Well to be honest, I wanted to be a train driver, then an aeronautical engineer, then I realized I was shit at math so that went down the drain.
Fuck that. I wanted shit for my personal gain and still do. So I guess I really wanted to be a super villain
So you want to become a hero /a/?
I wanted to be a commercial pilot but, then I learned that cost money and If my futures son ever wants to be a pilot I probably won't be able to pay or his lesson's either. It's a viscous cycle of disappointment.
When you think about it, Saber and Kerry ultimately had the same goals, just a very different methodology, thus leading to a cruel irony. Urobutcher is literally Shakespeare.
Nah I wanted to be a paleontologist. Now I'm an ecologist that studies paleontology as a hobby.
When I was little I dreamed of becoming a super hero with super strength, immortality, flying and all that sorta shit. Not so I could save people, just so I could travel around the world without a budget and look at all the untouched parts of the world and see nature.
>tfw you still want it, badly
>tfw knowing it will never happen
I thought it was played rather well also, but just not actually addressed enough.
Do you wish to be a knight, anon?
>All those evil servant wannabes
REMOVE EVIL FROM THE PREMISES
Exactly! One must fight with honor on the battlefield!
I wonder if most of the knights knew the king was a girl. Surely someone this small and cute couldn't have been a man.
Please no lewd thoughts. Although I'm surprised Lancelot kept it in his pants long enough to not diddle Saber.
>Be a kid
>Mum asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up anon?"
>I don't know the specifics at this point. I'm just a child with no understanding of the world
>All I know is that I want to help people
>Time passes and I continue to roam through life with no real interests, just a vague desire to help as many people as I can
>I spend all my time attending to people, relishing the chance to help them with their personal problems. I forgo relationships with girls when I know it will hurt a friend, I take the fall for trouble other people have caused, I even intervene in various fights around school that I happen to pass by, which got me beaten up a few times.
>Before long I'd developed a reputation for being really kind and selfless. One teacher even describes me as "gallant". I have many friends and I find my role fixing everyone's little problems very rewarding
>School ends. I took no interest in my studies and did terribly
>All my friends and the people that depended on me so much in school have moved on to brighter and better things
>I am all alone, and my purpose in life is lost
>Fumbling around for some new interpretation of my raison d'etre, I dabble in all sorts, but nothing feels the same as it used to.
>The pain of existential crisis becomes too much and and I take refuge in an empirical philosophy
>I decide the best way to live my life would be to ignore how miserable I was and keep trying to help people on a larger scale than I have until now. Go ubermensch pretty much
>Researching how I might go about this, I decide to aim for a career in medical research
>First time I've ever had a tangible goal in my life
>Blast my way through retakes in a year and land a place at a university with a decent biosciences institute tacked on, saving relentlessly as I do so
>I've been completely alone for 5 years at this point and haven't really enjoyed myself through this period
>I feel emotionally detached from everything
>tfw wanting to be a hero ruined my life
Ganbare anon! I believe you can push through this!
Well, he'd probably try it anyways for the vague hope that it'll end his existence because Kerry's mixed signals basically made Shirou's superhero complex (and the whole Fuyuki city burning thing)
I want to make a big archaeological find.
I always wanted to have a boring office job
And here I am, I made it
Dreams do come true
No mixxed signals about Kerry just dumped the naive ideals that ruined his own life on a mentally traumatized kid and the end result was EMIYA a guy who hated himself and the ideals that shaped him so damn much he literally fucked with time/space from beyond the grave just to try and kill himself in the hope he'd cease to exist.
If he saw the retard who gave him those ideals ol archer would be gay bulging him right off the instant he see's Kerry.
Exciting jobs are taxing though.
At this stage I just want to be emotionally stable. I had a mental breakdown 2 years ago and pulled out of going to uni. I was in the process of making elaborate suicide plans when my brother got onto my computer one day while I had a loose tab open with a guide on how to properly commit a dead drop hanging.
Since the fallout from this incident I've been a shut in neet. For a long time I actively tried to sabotage my life in an effort to "push myself" into suicide. I would spend days at a time in bed, only leaving to go to the toilet, refusing food and loading myself up with water to combat the feeling of hunger and just generally make an effort to be as miserable as possible so I could develop the "killer edge" I'd need to not pussy out and kill myself. I'd even stolen a rope from a friend of mine I'd taken the trouble to travel and visit.
Eventually as time passed my mood stabilized but fundamentally I am the same and if I try to be all ubermensch again I reckon it'll just be a matter of time until I have another breakdown. These days I am a complete and utter nihilist who does nothing but go with the flow. I suppose you could say I'm a bit epicurean in outlook because in following the neet lifestyle I try to minimize the pain that naturally piles up as I live my life.
You could always try to get a hobby. I find that that helps.