Pokemon Fanfiction General and Writethread

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Chapter soon
I want to die

>>32710495
Your doggo is meltingu. I think you should store it in a cool, dark place.

>no writethread for two days

it's like you don't want me to be happy

>>32710753
Announcements are hard to survive, and nobody has new stuff yet

How accurate is this list, /vp/?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t2qkd17C-k

I just have read half of the story of Star Trek an I didn't know why? Oh god. Haha. So I want to see some point to do my fic in basis of my own gameplay of ORAS.

>>32710495
why tho you won't make more chapters if ded
I'll put you on motherfuckin life support like walt disney if you even show a hint of it.

>>32710982
>>32711177
Nvm i want to die lol

So any good slice of life fics about a trainer and his pokemons just messing around and having fun?

>>32711205
I would... Write one but show me the basics where the argument must be based.

Hey I have had this story stewing around in my head for awhile.
I won't go into detail but basically a trainer who JUST started meets a much more experienced trainer. Doesn't sound original I know, just trust me I have somewhere I'm going with it.

The problem is the experienced trainer is supposed to be a Mary Sue so I can't make him the MC but he's a far more interesting character than the newbie trainer.

Wat do?

>>32710982
jesus, this poor kid sounds like he's 11. that's probably why he's on wattpad actually.

>>32710753
I figured once all of the other generals resprouted, the slowest, most doggobumped general of all might have a chance.

>>32710768
>Announcements are hard to survive
Sadly, since it was for less than nothing that /vp/ got spammed.

>>32711218
What argument? >>32711205 said "having fun," so unless it's one of those groups that socialize through pestering each other… .

>>32710982
Whatpad?
>>32711286
>11. that's probably why he's on wattpad
Do they age into FFN and finally graduate to AO3?

>>32711258
Various options, but it all depends on *why* is the senpai more interesting than the kohai. And are you *sure* this more experienced character is a Mary Sue?

Anyway, various ways to handle the "my secondary character is more interesting than my primary", courtesy of someone who has had this problem for like, 5 years, to the point that most of the fics he has published are actually backstory for earlier ideas that have not seen the light yet.

* Make senpai better than kohai at only one thing - the one that matters (Pokémon Training) but still ONLY the one.
* Write the relationship backwards - from a more equal screentime share in the present to a more slanted relationship in the past where one of the two has to do more and spend more time onscreen.
* Restrict senpai activity to Mission Control, maybe he wants to retire and for that he needs to groom a worthy replacement. Maybe he's got a STD and kohai is too young for that.
* Distribute the plot so that kohai has to spend effort trying to get a share of senpai's schedule. That way he interacts more with senpai, but indirectly.
* Break senpai's pedestal - yeah he's cool, but perhaps he had to deal drugs or make a blood pact with Cyrus to make that happen.
* Kill senpai midway through, kohai will have to carry the torch.
* Mirror the relationship - senpai wants to learn something from kohai in exchange, so you can reflect the "teaching is learning" trope on the less experienced character.

That's among the things that come to mind.

>>32711609
Thanks bro this is pretty solid advice.

>>32711609
>Maybe he's got a STD
*throw ball, fanfare*
SYPHILIS was caught!
Would you like to give SYPHILIS a nickname?

>>32711609
>Break senpai's pedestal
That trope was addressed to perfection.

I think >>32711258 wants Kohai to be the MC, but fears Sempai will steal the show. The resolution doesn't require using tropes to "fix" something that isn't a problem (yet). Rather, recognize that this is a comedian/straight-man duo.

What is Kohai's problem? As an initiate, let's assume he has plenty of "book learning" but without experience, nothing seems to work. Next, let's make him the straight-man (you stated that Sempai is "interesting"): perhaps he's ISTJ-ish, and after flunking his first gym challenge before even making it to the leader, bemoans that his pokemon aren't good enough. Some ENFP in the lobby overhears his mumbling to himself, asks to borrow his pokemon, takes them back in, and clears the warm-up trainers. Now you have a set-up where Kohai knows that Sempai is effective with the same pokemon but his style is so different that Kohai can't comprehend how it works. You can run a series of chapters with Sempai training Kohai through a series of mad cap mini adventures that revolve around Kohai being Sempai's foil and resolve with Kohai being forced into altering his behavior just a little, enough to learn through experience not how to be like Sempai but how Sempai's methods achieve their goals.

All you need then is a B-plot showing why Sempai's the kind of person who would spend his time tutoring a scrub, and some resolution of what becomes of their relationship once Kohai no longer benefits (and perhaps suffers detriment) from Sempai's presence.

Full disclosure, this suggestion is based on a chapter in LL, which featured Percival—the "book learning without experience" type—spending a little time with Bart Gage, a capricious gymless leader who pops up briefly in a few of my stories to tease a character.

>>32711177
But I already made all the chapters. I just need to convert them all to text and proofread them and spend another few hundred hours I hardly ever have doing that.

>>32712723
I mean digital text, not just text. I have a lot of text.

no wait stop

>>32710047
Of course Dodrio has other sets of three body parts besides the head.
The dex is obviously talking about the necks. What else could it possibly mean?

>TOTT
I'm pretty sure I haven't used any innuendo thus far, but then again, I haven't written very much at all, so there haven't been many opportunities to use it even if I wanted to. I tend not to use innuendo all that much in real life, though, so I don't see myself using too much of it in writing either. But I suppose that could all change when/if I start writing more.

On a side note, is there going to be a fic recap? I would make one myself, but I've got term papers to finish speaking of which gotta go bye

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>>32710047
Has someone made a Female Incineroar x Male Primarina?

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Behold
A dead fanfiction updating

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WJ6F6Ohn7QLuJFd8vBAhmBCXCkpf2JjSCjdDpqvPqhg/edit?usp=sharing

>>32715449

YOU WA SHOCK

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>>32715449
If normal braixen drinks Sunny Delight, does that mean that shiny braixen drinks the "purple stuff" that always got pushed aside in the commercials?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQE3jWYuGiw

Hey traipsingexodus, how are the fics coming? Not trying to pressure you, I just figure a little encouragement couldn't hurt. Still very much looking forward to the continuation of Only Viridian. I want to see whatshisname's reaction to redhead's secret fetish.

>>32718604
They've been coming, though slowly. I've been a bit fatigued from a variety of things in my personal life (work, running a pathfinder campaign, other creative projects from friends asking for attention.) I'm wrapping part one of ACPC (chapter 9 in other words) and then I'll probably actually finish Only Viridian to get some time to work in a different setting and provide some closure. The work is only intended to be three chapters anyway, though I considered four. Maybe it'll just be really long. I'm flattered to see people care about seeing OV finished, I was mostly stuck trying to deal with what felt like a strange position I'd written myself into.

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I've finally come to terms with the concept that pokemon are not all set at the same level of intelligence. I've tried categorizing their intelligence by type first (obviously subjective, but it's general).

Higher Intelligence:
Psychic - highest average intelligence, some are even capable of extremely limited telepathy (omitting legendaries)
Dark - sneaky tacticians with a cruel streak
Ghost - highly dependent on what they're a ghost/spirit of. A tsukumogami like banette won't be as sapient as a yamask
Fighting - tacticians like dark-types, but care more about fighting fairly. intelligent enough to understand honor.
Fairy - completely alien minds masquerading as normal creatures. fairies are terrifying.

Average Intelligence:
Flying
Poison
Fire
Water
Electric
Ice
Dragon - dragons are kinda smart in mythology right?

Lower Intelligence:
Ground
Rock
Bug
Steel
Grass - the only elemental type based on an actual organism. we don't even know if plants are self-aware, so I don't imagine a roselia would actually be much smarter than a dolphin.

Obviously, things complicate on a case-by-case basis. I imagine the more fishy water-types would be less smart than a piplup. This is all subject to change as I continue to worldbuild. Feel free to change my mind.

>>32718826
Ah, wrote yourself into a corner? I hope you find a satisfying way out (satisfying for you, first and foremost).

>>32719097
Note: Everything is species by species basis, with a general incidence of increased intelligence in psychics and ghosts.

Taken straight from a doc I have:

Above Human Intelligence
Human Intelligence
Near Human Intelligence
Consent Capable (Sinnohan Stratum Only)
Advanced Pokemon Intelligence
Standard Pokemon Intelligence
Substandard Pokemon Intelligence
Sentient Only

Because intelligence is so mutable and open to interpretation and debate, there is no single system for Pokemon intelligence across all of the regions - you will find various Pokemon in one region occupying a different stratum than they do in another region. Kanto does not have an intelligence strata, but instead grants respect to Pokemon with human or above human intelligence (but not rights.)

Every system has caveats, loopholes, addendum, exceptions, and more based on the individual in question, and are constantly in a state of flux as those in the "Consent Capable" (Sinnoh Only) and "Advanced" strata squeak into Near Human with clever training from Trainers (this is why the tests used continuously change as well.)

>>32719122
Thanks mate. I'm sure I will, I think I've got an idea for how I want things to end.

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>tfw review/clean-up work is finished, write first 1k of new material in months, seems like a pretty good little scene, have no clue what happens next.
Pic related: What was supposed to be a one-chapter character to make a statement about the games' tendency to offer one particular pokemon with an elemental advantage in the proximal gym has given zero fucks about instead sticking around and feeding my planned plot developments to the shredder.

>>32719097
Though I've respected some of the obvious biases, that a Rock-type rock is likely not interested in contemplating the complete works of Shakespeare as an influence on society and culture and that a Psychic-type is likely predisposed to learn about and give consideration to the thoughts of others when interacting with them, I put more weight on both wild and domestic lifestyle than on elemental type. Eevee's a fine example; it can go in many directions, but it wouldn't make sense that going Espeon will cause it to understand quantum theory versus going Leafeon will cause it to start watching reality TV shows, but it would make sense that its behaviors and perspectives will refocus accordingly.

Because of my admission of pokemon learning to communicate through human language in my stories by particular means, I find more interesting portraying differences in perspective and attitude than raw intellect. This also frees me of needing to ensure that "smart" pokemon or "stupid" pokemon have type or other indication justifying that condition beyond lifestyle as aforementioned; a well-trained tauros could make for a fine house pet, but it's still going to approach problems from a bull's perspective. I've hoped that Eternally Vernal worked to showcase this thought experiment, with Warden's sideways wild-pokemon logic driving many of the small interpersonal conflicts. Pic Related recalls a touch of that, but from a Johto perspective and a greater focus on responsibility than adaptation.

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>>32710047
Been battling a nasty cold haven't updated chapter yet. On the mend and should soon.
>TotT
>Innuendo. How much do you use
Sparingly is most effective I find. Use it too much and the read becomes a "wonder when the next joke is?"
>what do you imply
All types of things. Not even the majority is above anything PG13. The innuendo I write ranges from character relationships to personal affairs and general gossip. I'll even throw in a meme occasionally. However if I do make a sex joke it's usually well covered-up or over-the-top.
>and do your readers catch on?
I wouldn't know. Don't think there's been a review addressing any innuendo other than the obvious shipping. My guess is probably more likely than not.

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>>32710047
Needs a fic recap

An anon makes a fic about Scrafty. SFW
http://archiveofourown.org/works/11058750

Updated Fics:

Solar's Butterfree effect Chapter 21
>>32710047

Gorgel's Desolate Seas Chapter 5
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8071213/chapters/24364530

ManifestDestiny's The Dark Type Chapter 13
http://archiveofourown.org/works/9113758/chapters/24369075

ManifestDestiny's Vines of Deceit chapter 6
http://archiveofourown.org/works/9294437/chapters/24615033

As always, if a fic is missing from the recap, do link it here

>>32719960
I also uploaded chapter 6.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8071213/chapters/24540708

>>32719960
>I wish I wrote the OP
Here's the link to my latest chapter, Butterfree Effect
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10121590/22/Gift-of-the-Protector-Radiant-Heart
I'll be publishing a chapter this thread. Should be the last one before the epilogue. I also need to update Ao3 mirror. Going to do that now.

>>32710047
ToTT: I use innuendo when it feels applicable, typically for comic effect, or when I want to keep a piece under a certain content rating. My readers have never really made a comment about it, though they've never commented on some of the more explicit scenes either. At least to my knowledge anyway.

I ain't ever used innuendo because it's easier just to say that my characters totally fucked

>>32721724
Show, Don't Tell.

>>32712723
why not proofread while converting? you're there while it happens right?

>>32723140
Naw naw you don't get it. I go through like 3 different drafts of proofreading just to get a final product. The conversion is not a direct translation, it's a rewrite, and it has its own respective flaws and issues that I'm not skilled enough to catch.

>>32723154
>I go through like 3 different drafts of proofreading just to get a final product.
What changes the third time that didn't the second time?

>flaws and issues that I'm not skilled enough to catch.
Or, you're too busy with all the rererewriting to pay attention to form over formation.

>>32723207
The third time is to catch mistakes I made on the way back, or correct sentences that seem unnecessary or simply can sound better than they do. The editing muscle and the writing muscle are supposed to be one and the same, but I still struggle with putting them together. I do get flustered in the structure of the story and how the pieces fall together, and as much as I've also been fussing with redundancies and whatnot, there are simply matters of ignorance that I have yet to iron out. Shit like grammar, things that second graders have mastered or something, I will still actively trip on over and over. The more I mend, the more seems to get torn. It sucks.

>>32710047
Hello. I trying to know how I can make a re edition of The Divine Comedy with Pokemon. So Dante must be... And Virgilius must be...

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>>32723383
Whoever you want them to be. Pokemon, trainers, maybe one of each? Get creative man. Poke Inferno sounds like a fun trip.

>>32723289
So it's draft → revised → proofed? When you said "3 different drafts" I thought that you meant three different drafts, each then proof-read, before choosing (or hybridizing) the final design.

I've given up on proof-reading as a verb that has a past-perfect form; there's always an error lurking, somehow.

>The editing muscle and the writing muscle are supposed to be one and the same
They work best when connected, but they cannot be identical because writing is about communicating from mind to paper, and editing, from paper to mind.

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Here's a short one for you.

Chapter 15 of [The Dark Type], "Leverage Lost": http://archiveofourown.org/works/9113758/chapters/24874698

Featuring guest appearances by pic related.

>>32710047
In all the innuendo I've dropped in my work, so far only 2 people have come out and caught on to what I was hinting at (for the same thing, no less). Who knows if I do things right?

>>32723521
>there's always an error lurking, somehow.
Can confirm.

I'm like I'm awful at editing my own work. Easy mistakes slip on by with surprising regularity.

Hello? I have been thinking in a poor trainer that starts to philosophize while being trapped on the nothing after trying to find Giratina? Is in order. The second thinks is about my ORAS based fic. I'm thinking more into a deep introspection on the prota mind.

>>32724888
I suggest you try writing in your native tongue instead of english.

>>32724888
Of course I would. If anyone could understand the good and old Spanish... Even I done a little prologue when I was bored... In Spanish of Course.

>>32724999
https://pastebin.com/XEAAzatD
In Spanish.

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>"Tonight I'll finally start that new fic!"
>"Tonight I'll finally start that new fic!"
>"Tonight I'll finally start that new fic!"
>"Tonight I'll finally start that new fic!"

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>>32725018
If circumstances are harsh and your time is limited, there's no shame in not pushing yourself over the edge just to start a fic. There are a lot of distractions in the world of today, you probably just need to set yourself apart for an hour or two on a day you know nothing's going on. Treat it like exercise, fall into a routine of short bursts if you have to. Plan ahead so that you're thinking of prose while you're on the hot seat and not where the plot should be moving.

>>32725191
I skipped college and just decided to have a job, so I wouldn't know much about that kind of stuff other than dead free time. What I usually do before I start writing is listen to very specific kinds of music. My weaboo genes typically dictate that my major fics have OPs that go along with the theme and narrative. I suppose if you started to mentally associate a song with the idea of your fic, then eventually you could get yourself into the right mood to write.

>>32711258
Same guy here. Senpai's Team is going to consist of Bisharp Gallade Dragonair and Jigglypuff
But he'll also have Magmar/Magmortar and Electabuzz/Electivire

The reason I'm indecisive about that last two is that I'm trying to dampen senpai down a little and I'm wondering if I should let those two have their Sinnoh evos at the beginning or not.
On one hand if he does it makes him even more OP looking on the other hand if he doesn't it may make him look less superior.

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Bump

You guys can't get rid of me that easy; my... at 4AM it's really hard to be self-demeaning while not making innuendos, and this post doesn't cover the TotT. I need some sleep.
>>32719097
here's my three part overly-autistic rubric;
>typing
Certain types are more likely to be intelligent. I consider these to be Psychic, Ghost, Dragon, and Fairy. I draw a line between 'cunning' or demonstrating a specific mental prowess as you categorically define dark and fighting, but that doesn't necessarily exclude them either, because the next category is...
>human co-operation
Pokemon who can interact (or try to interact, looking at you Absol) with humans towards specific ends are likely to be intelligent, as they're explicitly stated to act on their own in ways not explainable by simple survival instinct.
>Understands human speech
A subset of the above (or is the above a subset of this? Can I make recursive sub-conditions?), if a pokemon can comprehend language - and not just responding to trained commands - that's a good indicator.
>exceptions
Any exceptions typically err on the side of intelligence, but all have specific reasons. For example, WIAM's Blaziken is intelligent when his species normally is not so - and this is commented on by Laide in WIAM Sc.4 - but all 'civilized' pokemon from the PMD world are sapient
Other exceptions stem from unique backgrounds, like cge's Eevee mention.

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Finally finished the prologue!
Can't wait to get this underway tomorrow! Keep in mind I wrote this while half-awake so if there are any errors please tell me.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/11150946/chapters/24880449

I don't know, but is very sad for me and very upsetting that there weren't anybody that knows Spanish to talk of. Of course the logic way must be first write in Spanish, and then in English.

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>>32727068
Jesus H Fuck, dude, go to one of the Spanish image boards.

Fart assing around here and complaining about bullshit is not helping you. It only serves to annoy others and make them ignore you.

>>32727108
Where are them?

>>32727122
No idea. Try googling "Spanish Imageboard".

>>32725610
>bisharp and gallade
>putting two fuccbois in your fic
Instant readership.

I LIVE. I'm sorry it took so long, but at last I found the time and drive to update Flash Platinum. As always if you see any errors or have any critique feel free to let me know. It's good to be back.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12024240/14/Pokemon-Flash-Platinum

>>32727326
>Bisharp
>Fuccboi
W-what

>>32727457
it's vaguely humanoid so naturally it makes these degenerate fans wet

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>>32727524
>vaguely humanoid

>>32727535
That's /vp/ for you

>>32727524
Oh. You meant in that respect. I was thinking something else, like effeminate twink or something, which doesn't get with my idea of Bisharp at all.

Any Celesteela stories out there?

>>32727068
I thought there were at least three others here who are fluent/native Spanish speakers.

boop

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Finally finished revising and proofreading this chapter. So much work when you add so much language but it turned out great IMO.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9861455/chapters/22128032

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12359877/6/Donker-Samenleving

>Innuendos. How much do you use, what do you imply, and do your readers catch on?

Sparingly used and more of a joke then something to hint romance unless said character is meant to be witty.

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Bit late to the party, but nonetheless...
Desolate Seas Chapter 7
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8071213/chapters/24893880

>>32731245
>there's a party

wow

>>32731383
It's mostly a pity party for all the pain our fingers have.

May my right index rest in peace.

>>32727457
insert name pun here

up

I have seen for a curious form of fic. About two incorporeal beings that are somewhat rivals and after discussing decides to posses the two protas games bodies and engages in battle to determine who's actually best. Some comedy.

>>32736158
None of your ideas have anything to do with pokemon. Just write original fiction.

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>>32736158
Oh no he's back, and already forgotten his lessons from last time.

>>32736383
>None of your ideas have anything to do with pokemon. Just write original fiction.
Absolutely this.

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well i have request for fanfic.

SFW lilligant cuddling.

So, I can't decide how my characters are supposed to meet. Protag is a well to do girl from a small town that left on her pokemon journey to assert her independence, and the other character is a innawoods /k/ fag who left home because she had no friends. I've mostly worked out how the story and their relationship will unfold, but can't decide a good way for them to meet.

>>32737531
Well-to-do girl is lost because she doesn't have the experience required, and innawoods girl finds her and helps her out. Initial mistrust because one's apparently antisocial or introverted enough to never get close to people, and the other is currently being dead weight. There's your meeting AND your opening conflict!

>>32737531
That sounds very similar to what I'm writing. Two girls from different walks of life. I had them meet in an adventuring guild and their Pokemon became fast friends. My suggestion would be to find the initial common ground, in my case that's their Pokemon. Later on the relationship reveals that they have more in common than that. Because they have different perspectives the important thing is making them bump into each other in a natural way.

>>32737591
I like that, especially since I have it set in a heavily forested region.

>>32737610
Well, its not exactly an original idea. Their pokemon do mirror the whole concept. Protag girl has a Fennekin from a professional breeder that was bought for her by her father, and innawoods girl has an Eevee that she rescued from a shelter. Very similar and yet very different.

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>>32737728
I agree. The direction taken however is where differentiation takes place.
The concept of having the Pokemon similar to the trainers, or in your words "mirror the whole concept" is definitely worth exploring. Fennekin and Eevee are quite alike psychologically, yet these two in particular have polarized backgrounds similar to their trainers. I settled on a street urchin Sneasel who got caught stealing by another thief who has to either do community service or face arrest, partnered with a high-society Roselia who enraptured the locals at the behest of her princess of a trainer with aromatherapy. The trainers tend to be the role models so no matter who you choose there's going to be some influence. The question I'm currently confronting is how Pokemon can influence their trainers, albeit in a substantially different way.
>Inb4 psychics

>>32738031
That's the kind of thing I don't think about and just let flow naturally from the story. Although, I'm treating pokemon more animalistic and trying to stay as for from the anime as I can

>>32737610
>That sounds very similar to what I'm writing.
It's like everybody is all writing the same thing. Like, I read
>>32737728
>Protag girl has a Fennekin from a professional breeder that was bought for her by her father
and get worried for a second. Actually I haven't yet committed to my next story's starter's origin but I've ruled out lab acquisition and that was one of my options, UNTIL NOW. But >Eevee isn't in the supporting cast so I dodged that bullet. Having already been struck by one since I put a snivy in the supporting cast and like a week later I learn that fennekin+snivy is suddenly a meme/OTP.

Meanwhile…
>44k deep.
>Still sniffing around to find plot momentum.
>No clue where this is supposed to end up.
I'm screwed.

At least the latest scene let me feature a chance at redemption for a rusty can opener.

>>32739260
Pokémon does tend to lend itself to a certain kind of story. I just wanted to do a cute lesbian coming of age romance story. All the pokemon stuff is just based on my playthroughs of the games. Fennekin is my favorite 6th gen starter, and it fits the character's fluffiness. Eevee is my favorite evolution line. It's going to evolve into a Sylvion because mine soloed the Elite 4 and became my favorite part of that game. Writing what you want is more important than avoiding clichés and tropes.

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>hear a sound in the clearing ahead
>start race towards the commotion on my bike
>sound gets clearer as I get closer
>a loud buzzing broken by the occasional scream
>finally the source comes into sight
>a dozen beedrills surrounding a Lass and her Liepard
>Liepard does it's best to defend her trainer but the beedrills are landing too many jabs
>GO TYRANITAR
>skillfully throw Tyranitar's ball into the center of the beedrills
>they're sent flying by Tyranitar ejecting from ball
>TYRANITAR ROCK SLIDE
>rocks fall from Tyranitar's fist into a wide arc crushing several beedrills at once
>the remaining beedrills begin to surround Tyranitar
>Your opponents weak, get'em!
>BRUTAL SWING
>in a flash of movement Tyranitar snatches one of the beedrills from the sky and swings it around himself
>the remaining beedrills are KOed or killed
>Tyranitar roars in victory
>I run up to the girl and help her to her feet
>"oh god, thank you mister we were in a lot of trouble there"
>I tip my cap towards her
>"thank you so much, here it's not much but please take this TM"
>no need for that miss, how about you let me take you out for some malasadas in the morning
>"oh uhhh I don't think that is a good idea I have a boyfriend"
>sigh
>that is a shame

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>>32739888

>I give Tyranitar the signal
>he casually spins and knocks her 30 feet away with his tail
>LEEEEEEE her Liepard cries and lunches towards me
>GO MACHAMP
>Machamp appears from his ball between the Liepard and me
>CROSSCHOP
>Machamp brings his upper arms down with lighting speed
>Liepard is sent crashing into the ground
>You know what to do
>Machamp continues you pummel the downed Liepard
>I slowly approach the fallen girl who is still laying face down on the ground
>go Tauros
>my Tauros appears over the girl
>"st-stop" she whines extending her had towards her Liepard
>Tauros you know what to do
>BWOOORRRRR
>Tauros places his hoof over the small of her back
>miss I think you should reconsider my offer
>"I-I-I can't I'm sorry"
>stomp
>Tauros brings his hoof down with devastating force
>there is a sickening crash
>"AHHHHHHHHH"
>"MY LEEGGS I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS
>I laugh
>return guys
>Tyranitar, Machamp and Tauros return to their balls
>"NOO OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME"
>snort
>you had your chance
>I walk past the crushed and bloody body of her former Liepard
>get back on my bike
>smell you later
>ride away to the sounds of her screams for help

>>32739888
>Link to Pastebin, FFN, AO3, or G-Docs, etc. Don't write stories to the thread itself.

>>32739898
too late nerd

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>>32739888
>>32739897
>snort
>you had your chance

>>32738227
>That's the kind of thing I don't think about and just let flow naturally from the story. Although, I'm treating pokemon more animalistic and trying to stay as for from the anime as I can
I avoid the anime like the plague as well. Most of my source material is straight up out of the games. I'll put a spin on it; nothing like creatively interpreting some ambiguous dex entries and running with it.

>>32739260
>It's like everybody is all writing the same thing.
Great minds or something to that effect.
>44k deep.
Around there too. This new work features shorter chapters, approximately 7k per. Bouncing back and forth between projects so I should be able to invest more time once I finish Protector.

Speaking of starters and main mons, focusing on a specific Pokemon character you don't have a history writing about can be surprising. Quick anecdote: Sneasel's fighting style - being underhanded, quick, and a glass cannon in battle scenes - has completely changed the flow of combat to be more engaging. Plus there's the stealth aspect as well, a fun new style I'm getting the hang of and really enjoying. What I'm getting at is simple advice, try something novel since it might be a refreshing motivator in order to look forward to writing again.

>>32739708
>cute lesbian coming of age romance
>fennekin
>eevee
>sylveon
>writing what you want
These are basic bitch story elements. I look forward to seeing if you can do them justice.

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Here's a question: how do you feel about shiny Pokemon in fanfiction?

I remember seeing someone bump the writethread with a picture of a shiny Umbreon a while ago, and that got me wondering what people's opinions are on shinies. Are they too out-of-place and Mary Sue-ish, or are they fine?

Personally, I think they should be avoided unless there's a very good reason for their inclusion. If they're just thrown in, they might feel forced and stand out too much. But that's just how I see it.

>>32741757
I think you have a good way of looking at it. Law of Conservation of Detail, or the 'red dress rule' from that scene in the Matrix. If the author deviates from a very firm and expected norm (the vast majority of pokemon, while not necessarily identically colored, share a similar coloration) then it must be for a plot-important reason.

>>32741757
While I do agree that shinies are more often than not Sue-bait, I can't help but have a soft spot for them. The first pokemon fanfic I ever wrote was about the shiny sneasel I had caught, so that feeling might still be sticking around today.

I mean, look at the Explorers games. The only reason the Celebi is shiny is to denote that she's a female, but nobody ever calls it out. It's just how the character is. That's my interpretation of how it should be done.

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>>32741757
>Shiny mons
I don't write about them considering how rare they are supposed to be, like a mutant or an albino. If I do they typically only have a minor role, and never ever a main character's Pokemon. Can only think of one time I mention it. I gave a shiny Nidorina to a small time local news reporter which everyone thinks is a Nidorino on account of the color (they forget about the horn). That's it. The day I give out shiny Pokemon to main characters is the day I stop writing seriously.
Not intolerant about reading about them in people's fics, however it does induce a roll of the eyes I must admit.

https://pastebin.com/2U7K7PmG

My chance to get to purge my sins or die.

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>>32742054
I think you watch too much anime

#offtopic.
You know that Adam West has just died?

>>32742169
As did the guy who invented pineapple pizza, yes.

Sucks that we lose two such marvelous and in certain ways alike people in such a short time.

>>32741757

Statistically speaking, your character should not have Shinies on-team unless they specifically have a job description where they have to afford the resources to find, gather or breed them.

If a Pokémon-focused story where the Shiny stands on its own instead, that is no longer relevant tho.

Other than that, >>32741786 "red dress rule" applies, really.

>CAPTCHA
>FAN TAIL
>not FAN TALE
You have yet much to learn, googlebot.

>>32741757
EH Ch.4 introduces Glory, who's shiny, and the chapter slowly turns a short discussion about her coloration and it being one of the sources of what I would probably equate with existential angst and issues of self-worth.

Given that Glory isn't a main character, but instead just someone Viola goes to pottery class with, I guess that's how I'd explain my stance on shiny pokemon: rare sights that could very well have their own baggage they're lugging around because of it, but aren't actually used as main characters because I don't feel like working through that kind of crisis of character on an extremely personal level, more a proximal one.

It is worth nothing that the degree to which such a crisis runs in a pokemon is going to change from species to species.

>>32742697
FUCK, I MEANT NOTING. IT IS WORTH NOTING.

GOD DAMN IT.

Morning bump

>>32741757
>Here's a question: how do you feel about shiny Pokemon in fanfiction?
I don't feel much about it.

I've only addressed shininess in a significant way involving one character, and I used it foremost as a MacGuffin to get things rolling, and once in a while it's been a convenient means of identification. Another of my characters is, but it's only alluded to in passing, and it's legit because I once caught a wild shiny of its first form on cartridge. (I once hatched a shiny of another species line in my stories, so who knows…)

Even "too many shinies" doesn't trigger me much. We've seen that it was meant to be rare enough to be special (8196:1) but has been diluted (Masuda, etc.) such that shininess and even the appearance ratio aren't significant anymore. With Alola forms, pokemon now exhibit much greater variety than a palette swap, so if somebody wants to write a snowflake color, let 'em.

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Au Coup Par Coup, Chapter 9: Holy Shit, Fanart Edition is now up!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7262536/chapters/24942630

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12009986/9/Au-Coup-Par-Coup

>>32747315
>Holy Shit, Fanart
Achievement unlocked!

>>32747476
I'm still working on that achievement to this day

It just doesn't unlock when you're the one that makes your own covers

>>32747315
Some nice art you got there.
>>32747507
Why not? If you have any inclination to draw a visual representation of your story that's certainly something to be celebrated.

>>32747640
Because I am me, and I care about my story more than anyone else. Of course I'm inclined to make art for it. What gives me the gamerscore is when someone else feels even a flicker of that same feeling and puts a pen to a tablet. Fanart is basically the power level of a fanfiction.

>>32747507
I didn't get independent fanart till I went beyond 400k, so by a margin depending on if you count your not-PKMN material on AO3, you've a little while plus-or-minus 50k to inspire somebody with artistic talent to grant permanence to an image that your words put into said artist's mind.

>when you're the one that makes your own covers
If anything I would expect that that should encourage fanart. Artists associate with artists because art.

>>32747675
Makes sense. So by that logic fan sculptures are in a league of their own. I'm still impressed at how I managed that.

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>>32747698
Indeed. The tiers go something like this, although what follows may be inaccurate at points because the true list is kept secret by the Masons.
• No readers. (Oops, somebody didn't write either porn or about gardevcariopunnaixen.)
• Read but no reviews. (Thoughtful ones, not just "moar plox.")
• A few feedback readers but no fanart. (Containment tier, smells like somebody took their shoes off.)
• Fanart. (Independent recognition provides the first piece of evidence that one's writing career isn't a complicated delusion.)
• Fansculpture. (Entry into the pantheon.)
• Fandango. (Equip castanets.)
• Faninterpretive dance performances of your works in public spaces. (Direct control over nervous systems has been acquired, they move like marionettes according to your whims.)
• Conventions dedicated to your fanfiction. (Stand on your porch and observe your armies, awaiting orders.) This includes IP sanitizing for Hollywood production, e.g. Fifty Shades.
• Pedestal. (THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!)

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>>32747858
I had a good laugh. Thanks for keeping the priority of literary goals all in perspective.

>>32747315
That art's not bad. Out of curiosity, was it a gift from a friend who did it out of kindness, or something by a random artist who did it without you knowing, or something else? Whichever the case may be, it's pretty cool that someone would make art about your story.

>>32747640
This.

>>32747675
You might be inclined, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll do it. If you do get to do it, on the other hand, it means a lot of appreciation went into what the story represents, what do you want to communicate and to who (as said in other posts, art begets art).

>>32747858
Fandango tier post.

Where does "Everything right / wrong with $FANFICTION in 10 minutes!" videos and stuff like that fall?

>>32748181
>Where does…stuff like that fall?
Between the cracks.

Yes, somebody put time and effort into it, but the value depends on if the critique is erudite or superficial. In either case, it counts as a feedback reader.

>>32748022
Uh, I sort of knew the artist, we'd had a few chats before about my other work, and then one day they just pinged me with it. I was quite flattered.

>>32747698
>sculpture
God damn son.

>>32748600
Figurine of a certain well-received character crafted by a 3d printer. Technology is absolutely phenomenal as is a talented fan who went though all that trouble of designing and producing the piece. I'd be damned to the ninth circle of ungrateful writers if I didn't complete the story. Never earned a drawing until recently. Might mean I'm going in the wrong direction according to the established hierarchy. Oh well. There's no sense in stopping.

So how do you guys explain pokemon's quick comprehension of human language? The anime (and games to an extent) show pokemon to magically understand every word, regardless of language (ex. a japanese boy hits it off with a pokemon that's only ever been spoken to in french, no translation issues whatsoever) but this is obviously retarded. I was also recently rereading cge's Waterlogged, and struck by how quickly Lydia adapts to Magnus' unfamiliar language. Her depth of understanding of human tongue in what appears to be a matter of months is somewhat suspiciously handwaved.

tfw Magnus and Lydia will never live out the rest of their days happily in Paradise ;_;

>>32747315
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12009986/9/Au-Coup-Par-Coup

>He heaved a sigh peeked through the cracked door.
Did you mean for an "and" to be in there?

>>32748897
Yes. I give the chapters a few runthroughs after I write them to look for errors and they always slip past me anyway. Thanks for pointing it out to me!

>>32748846
You could just remove the cheat, because there is no reasonable explanation that is also easy. If you do want to explain it, you'll have to come up with science-fantasy bullshit and the result may or may not be less retarded than the canon's abstraction/handwaving.

Alternatively, you could go the cge route and insinuate that people who question mechanics that Just Work are actually plebs who don't appreciate your work and would be better served by reading something with less effort put into it.

>>32748846
>but this is obviously retarded
Or it's obviously a conceit used to facilitate a video game and animation franchise targeting kids of all ages.

"Pokemon understand human language" isn't precisely canon, but it's close: Pokemon understand what humans and other pokemon intend to communicate to them. This is quite particular, it demands that pokemon understand pokemon even when they make completely different noises and share none in common. (It also supports name-chanting.) Further, we know that the path of trainer+pokemon is about personalities getting in sync, not merely establishing communication (omitted, Ash learning Lassie-level Pikachuvian over time).

Lydia is learning not language but culture; not what Magnus says but what he has to talk about. It's when Heinrich visits that language factors in, for then she showcases Magnus's possessions as a means to illustrate concepts that she has learned about but cannot express precisely using their common language. Her linguistic development is through cultural expansion, not vice versa. Toward the end of the diary, Magnus is noticing her comprehension, not because it's a new skill in her but because she's grown accustomed enough to understand without contemplation, and to respond immediately and with greater sophistication than before.

My portrayal of this pokemon ability is reflected also in how speech T.M.'d pokemon recognize that their thought patterns are changed by it, and in the pidgin language that crops up whenever a pokemon's natural communication is forced into a vocalization that isn't wholly their own.

>>32748968
Some people choose not to have fun during their recreation time.
As I type this, I'm also watching the final seconds of a hockey game. I've never watched hockey before, but I decided to have fun and watch this game tonight. Apparently it's an important one.
Now the game is over.
I enjoyed the show.
Try having fun sometime, Anon, without stepping on your own toes.
You might like it.

>>32749158
>but I decided to have fun and watch this game tonight.
>I enjoyed the show.

You actually relaxed and enjoyed something instead of growing frustrated with half-completed projects? What next, a narrative breakthrough on O/C?
Is this the beginning of a new cge?

>>32747507
I practice art contact me in like 5 months nigge

https://pastebin.com/4KrbyqGf

>>32749620
>You actually relaxed
Let's not get too carried away.

>and enjoyed something
In the moment.

>instead of growing frustrated with half-completed projects?
I've gone beyond growing frustration and achieved general, all-encompassing disappointment.

>What next, a narrative breakthrough on O/C?
I did admit earlier that O/C's up to 44k. It's mostly shifting-gear material, but Chapter 7 found some content for me.

>Is this the beginning of a new cge?
Let's not get too carried away. Some people might get their hopes up, thinking that would imply the ending of the old one.

>>32748846
sorry guys but "this shouldn't exist because it doesn't make sense" and "MAGIC SPEECH TMS SOLVE EVERYTHING" are both pretty disappointing responses to this question imo

my in-lore explanation to how pokemon could understand human speak has partially to do with communication in the pokemon world as we know it being more than simple sound waves but a complex mixture of many different sound frequencies and electromagnetic waves similar to radio waves, most of which are impossible for the human ear to specifically interpret. what trainers hear as a simple "growl" actually has many different blips of information all stacked on top of each other, like a network of data streams sending chunks of binary code in a giant tangled mass. Pokemon brains have evolved over millions of years to sort out this mess and make sense of the speech other pokemon use

humans, being relatively new arrivals to the pokemon world, haven't developed this interpretation ability yet, but humans naturally produce something resembling these multi-stage communication stacks without even consciously realizing they're doing so. that is to say humans already speak like pokemon do to a limited degree, but haven't developed the ability to universally translate it yet. pokemon on the other hand can naturally get the basic gist of what humans are trying to say regardless of human language, and become accustomed to their trainers speech patterns over time.

>>32750358
Commissions don't count as fanart, doofus. That's a commission.

>>32751654
This isn't too far from my way, but I didn't feel a need justify it with technobabble: when your pokemon speak, a holographic codec sends a binary data matrix through… voice+radio?…

I satisfied myself to hint that harmonic effects may be involved; it's mentioned in my next story's WIP:
Another advert appeared. It featured a pokemon talking about—wait, it was talking in trainer language. Benjamin leaned close and watched carefully. It wasn't dubbed over like some of the shows in other regions so people can know what the Psychic-type characters are communicating with telepathy. He could even hear it in the timbre: faintly the telltales of their own language were in there, hiding among the strange sounds that trainers used to vocalize their drawn symbols.

Fair enough, you do what you want. IMHO, that'd be cute in a porygon story, but you've just chosen "MAGIC POKEMON BRAIN CODEC" for "MAGIC SPEECH TM"… which isn't too far from applying a firmware patch including said codec—though I describe it as a lexicon, caring about interpretation over bandwidth. In a try to make your way practical I see a few other necessary/very-handy conceits that I've already made, explicitly or implicitly, but if I keep thinking about this, I'll conclude that you're bristling as we come to the same kinds of conclusions, but our difference in philosophy triggers you relentlessly.

(The Anon you team up with to fire spitballs at me posted well ahead of you. I hope you enjoyed the hockey game or another amusement to explain your tardiness. :D)

>humans already speak like pokemon do…but haven't developed the ability…yet.
IRL humans lived alongside dogs for thousands of years; between our species we struggle to communicate more than two words, average, depending on our dedication to the art. How long before your humans sprout radio circuits to get on the party line? (Do microwave ovens disrupt them? I've planned a microwave joke, so I need to know!)

>>32748846
I don't commit to any particular way of doing it or not doing it, honestly. I put a combination of lots of things at play (base Pokémonnness; body language; shared experience for Trainers who have been at this "long enough"; etc) and it's just that a(ny) combo of them works™, more or less.

>but this is obviously retarded
That's "kind of" the idea - as cge said, it's just a facilitation of a harder portrayal for time / budget / audience constraints. You have to distinguish when something is actually representative of a world versus a projection or interface given by the medium. In the case of videogames, most if not all turn-based use the shortcut of "easy command this complicated action", so it's not something even near unique to Pokémon; the anime emphasizes the point of mutual understanding between humans and Pokémon to achieve goals, so they go the extra mile of throwing up random halfbaked links on top of that (like the whole "sharing pain" and Battle Bond.. stuff).

If I wanted / needed to go deeper with it, I'd probably make "transparent cross-Pokémon understanding" a sort of intrinsic property of the world, even perhaps part of whatever is the intrinsic set of traits that does a metal ball, a snek, an ice cream and my mom's dog into Pokémon make, and then bridge it to "fast understanding of human intent" by means of, among other things, Pokémon being able to teach each other fast about how human intent is communicated, that compounded with eventual battle commands. There's a technical factor there too, that humans are trying to approach the same sort of transparent reading of Pokémon intercommunication and intent (hinted at in stuff like the dream-reader machine).


>>32749158
>omitted
>"Pikachu!"
>"What, Pikachu? Misty fell down the well?"
>"Pikachu!"
>"Oh, what do we do?"
>"Pi pi pi!"
>"All right, to our next adventure!"
>"Pikachu!" *trollfaces*
>*trollfaces also*
Couldn't help but picturing it, p fun.

>>32752872
>>omitted
The 2kB limit is strangulation. Could I could bank spare allowance from shorter posts…

>>32752872
>it's just a facilitation of a harder portrayal
It can be, but it can also be a fantasy paid for with suspension of disbelief. That's what makes fantasy fantastic.

In cases like Vry(+Anon), I feel like—owing to the strong similarities observed when either of us spill some of our headcanon concepts and the fact that he admits to having read all of my released material not for whatever intrinsic value they may have but in search of the missing-piece details that I don't provide—that in my writing Vry found a so kindred a pokemon-realism concept that he hoped to find in it the Solution, and was disappointed that I never intended to solve "add explanations to pokemon till it works realistically," but rather, "discover a palatable reality that could accommodate Pokémon™ without game/animation restrictions," and that I did it to write stories on topics that I felt took on a unique character when cast into a pokemon world, not to write a thesis about how a video game world we know so well could be out there among the theorized limitless parallel universes.

At the cost of his cordial relations on /vpwt/, I'm glad that he recognized my failings. I wouldn't want to stop him from completing the Thesis. He might have it all figured out (in time) and if so, should be recognized for that accomplishment. I'm just a guy who had a funny dream one night and started typing, and I would hate to be the cause of him stopping early his pursuit of a bulletproof pokemon reality, tragically distracted by my accidental somewhat-close facsimile.

>>32751654
We can call this "The R2-D2 solution" because it's exactly how the Binary language works in Star Wars

>current undeclared TotT:
My solution to the Pokemon language is simple; it's the solution to human language. There are lingual barriers, you can only understand if you're intelligent enough, and it requires either close proximity to humans (e.g. the Ninetales), workarounds or mental connections (Alata), or specific instruction from others already familiar (Blaziken)

I figured coming up with a convoluted mechanic would be distracting, and figured it'd be best handled how such things are handled everywhere. People learn languages gradually over time, either through observation (longer) or training (shorter).

That being said, I've also enjoyed playing with communication barriers as plot concepts, so I'm probably just biased.

>>32751654
Yea i mean ultimately you are the master of your own story. Give your explanation for your shit and then its up to the reader to accept it or not.

>>32751000
Serves me right for forgetting to beg for h8 r8 whatever8

>>32748846
Typing biases and the intelligence strata I created. They also require dedication to learn, like any language, and contribute to a consumption of the sort of "skill point" system cge mentioned at some point in regards to keeping power balanced.

That said, speech still consumes less overall than say, raw combat does, so those with capacity to learn speech are significantly hindered but not made helpless; that said you're less likely to find speech ability in combat oriented mon because they're typically being taught speech for a good reason and combat oriented mon put all their points in main combat stat and take feats like Power Attack and this analogy has gotten a tad bit too tabletop so I'll stop.

>>32751000
>>32753829
Trips aside, you didn't tell us anything to attract any interest.

>>32753110
cge there are plenty of ways to say "i write what i want" without keeping up the pretentious author roleplay

>>32748846
Depending on the Pokemon you have a number of options. If you have a run of the mill Cleffa that just hatched, yes, it's probably going to be like raising a babbling baby or a newborn pet. It might not understand you at first, but given time I think it would develop a bond to begin to. Perhaps based on body language in addition to tone for context clues. Run with this concept if you dare to. Such things may vary based on species, environmental factors, background, all of which are squarely within the author's domain for exercising creative whim(s).

If it has some sort of psychic or aura-reading nonsense then absolutely why not understand human speech? I do not view it as an undisputed advantage for the trainer however because these types of Pokemon may be able to do more than receive and obey given orders. Opens the door to whether with all their powers they can ever hope to comprehend the jumbled mess that is human culture. I see them meeting at a philosophical level eventually, where they do acknowledge the difference between species and perhaps even attempt an understanding of the condition we call existence. Communication is a low rung on that ladder nevertheless it is vitally important to writing a compelling story in my opinion.

Rambling aside, I value a riveting story over an absolute truth.

>>32747315
When I actually git gud at drawing bisharp the first thing I'm gonna draw is Charles stuffing food into his mouth.

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I have an idea: how about something something about dating the Furisode Girls from either the Laverre Gym or Sushi High Roller? Getting to know about their personalities, what they like and dislike, etc.

>>32756168
Ha, I look forward to it mate. I hope my friend hurries the fuck up with his commissions so he can get to mine so I can have a decent cover for ACPC.

>>32757062
So slice of life, dating sim hybrid? I'd read it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11150946?view_full_work=true

Added the first chapter after the prologue. Also didn't a quick edit on the prologue. Grammatical errors I was too tired to notice at the time and whatnot.

Feedback would be nice.

>>32758022
but what IS it? Give us a summary or something, few click on contextless links.

>>32753886
Like I said, serves me right for forgetting.

>>32757220
Hmmm, it could be something like that a writer could write.

>>32752690

I don't care enough to "fire spitballs" at you- if you wanna act elitist in the thread or write shit that I find distasteful then I'm not going to get continually worked up about it

also the inability of humans and pokemon to easily communicate is a cornerstone of what makes trainer/pokemon relationships so interesting and any low effort shortcuts around that like speech TMs automatically degrades the quality of any pokemon fanfic setting as far as I'm concerned

>>32753642

my view is that there is no Pokemon "language" to begin with, because the whole concept of some universal pokemon vocabulary doesn't follow any consistent logic and quickly falls apart under some tough questioning. instead I believe that the whole concept of language is different to pokemon to begin with and even if humans could theoretically physically learn how to understand it they would have to retool their entire thought process to understand how pokemon communicate

if a human learning a new language is like driving one type of car your entire life and then moving to another brand and model, then understanding pokemon speak would be like moving from a car to piloting a helicopter. they're both methods of transport but involve very different conceptual theory

>>32753779

my goal is that the reader will appreciate a setting that makes them think about the games in a new way rather than ignore the fundamentals of the canon entirely

>>32758267
stop being a self-conscious little bitch and tell us what the fuck it is

>>32751000
Didn't you already post this story here?
>>32759423
Not him, but it's about Nanu talking with that one ghost girl about actually arresting Guzma after the events of Sun/Moon

>>32758737
>accusing someone of acting elitist while telling them their fanfiction setting is distasteful and inferior

Since you guys are getting so wonderfully worked out with your tongues, that reminds me we have Pokédics! Dics for everyone to take and exercise your tongues. And for this release they are ~60 names longer too!

>http://veniasilente.user.tropi.us/_a/pokedics/

> ~760 Pokémon names up to G7.
> Due to the source I got them from, it's missing most UBs. I hope to fix that by the weekend.

>>32759480
>waah opinions I disagree with are bad

Wrong website, pal.

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>>32759498

This drama is why I don't post with my name. At least when I say something retarded no one knows it's me.

Also to make this a not-worthless post, I'm getting close to finishing the editing process of something I've had in the works since February.
>you don't ever finish editing, you just decide to stop

>>32758737
I would think - feel free to correct me - this implies an all-pokemon-are-intelligent model? Seems to be that having that much bandwidth in communication can only be fully utilized by intelligent species. Or, perhaps the inverse; the ability to take advantage of said bandwidth is a cornerstone of sapience.

Sharing a fic I found in my old computer regarding an Anon and a Hex Maniac.
SFW
https://pastebin.com/71266Mn2

>>32759423
>I can't open pastebin links
nani

>>32759440
Well, he says he's going to, if that counts. I took it more as a reassuring lie, or a good resolution.

>>32759440
>>32761457
I read it the day he posted it. But being defeatist and timid about your work doesn't serve anybody, least of all the author. It just gets annoying when you go so far to appear pitiful that you refuse to provide a summary when asked.

>>32758568
Suppose so.

I've had this pokemon fanfic idea I've been considering doing for a while.

>>32763536
I'm so glad I got to hear the details of this premise, and your insightful take on such a novel concept!

>>32763591
I didn't write the whole idea out because it was long and I was waiting to see if anybody was actually interested in hearing it before typing it out.

>>32763600
we can't know if we're interested in hearing it if you don't tell us anything that might be interesting. Are you the same person who's trying to get eyes on his story up there? Because you both have the same (lack of) M.O.

Just fucking post some details already

>>32763611
That was my first post in this thread, so no, I'm not the same person.

>>32763536
Post it.

>>32763658
It would be about a trainer (gender and Pokemon undecided currently) going up against a rock type gym

The gym is a concert hall where a rock band is performing. The other trainers that the trainer has to face there are fans, roadies, and musicians. The gym leader is the band's drummer, named Rachel and nicknamed Shooting Star Scarlette. She's a teenage girl with wild long red hair, a black t shirt and shorts, a pair of headphones on her head, a huge cigar in her mouth, and a pair of slightly cracked drumsticks. She's rather chill. She has a reputation for sending her opponents flying off into the sky. The smoke from her cigar sometimes forms musical notes. Rather than give her pokemon verbal commands, she instructs them by playing different rhythms on her drums. To get through the gym, the trainer must navigate the puzzles, which require them to follow the rhythm.

That's the basic idea. I'm not quite sure where to go with it currently.

>>32763714
It's an interesting concept, but that you have put more thought into a single character than an actual story to put the concept to worries me.

>>32763758
Well, I suppose it's more that I thought of a character first and then decided to plan a story she'd be in

>>32763714
That's an idea for a person and location, not a story to put them in. Keep thinking and you'll get somewhere.

>>32763714
>I'm not quite sure where to go with it currently.
You can't go anywhere because you have not created any Where to go.

You're describing an Original Character, and one of the order that often meets mocking derision here on the fourchans. You've stuck together a number of Identifying Features, but for all those distinguishing attributes, we know nothing about her.

Who is she when she's caught in the rain? Who is she when she's feeling vulnerable? Who is she when her parents are (or were) fighting? Is her cigar just a cigar? Surrounded by all these followers, does she feel alone? Socks or no socks when walking around the house? How does she react to a bump in the night? Is she mute?

Her hobbies, nickname, hairdo, wardrobe, headgear, oral fetish, sentimental equipment, and idiosyncratic methods are all merely costuming. Anybody could put on that act (albeit with a little practice for some of the more elaborate Mary Sue facets). What made her and her alone who she is?

Find her story. Then you'll be able to tell her story.

>>32763714
To indirectly quote a favorite sci-fi author of mine,
>"Writing is simply thinking through the fingers"

The fundamental difficulty in planning a fiction is the idea has yet to fully ripen until you sit down, and start typing it out or handwriting if anyone else still actually does this. That process is where your skeleton ideas get their necessary meat. So while you might gain advice from others about your idea in its concept phase, I'd encourage you to take the next step and begin writing it. Even if it's not your best work, you'll still learn something significant about your design otherwise unattainable through the engaging process of "thinking by doing". It's never a total waste because you may be able to salvage an old story once you attain a library of drafts and OCs. I know I have.

Personally this is why I find editing to be challenging in terms of time spent. I often conflate typing out revisions with the creative process and wind up writing more, not less.

>>32765829
>or handwriting if anyone else still actually does this

The entirety of TMoM's rough draft is written out over 487 pages of notebook paper.
The thickness of the paper all piled together gives me an artist boner.

>>32766247
Enough pencil shavings to mulch the garden, or sack of spent ballpoint pens?

>>32766259
Erasable pens, bb. Around six or seven of them, I think.

>>32766247
This guy gets it. There's something profoundly satisfying about having a physical version of all that work.

>>32766660
didn't some brony fic get made in hard cover?

>>32758177
Oh it's just my first attempt at a fanfic that isn't a dumb ship.

It's called "Stike When The Iron Is Hot" and has slight yaoi themes but it mostly going to just be the journey of a novice trainer learning from a more experienced one.

>>32762586
>you refuse to provide a summary when asked
Oh, I'm terribly sorry if anyone did ask me that, honestly, it must've gone over my head. It was never my plan to appear pitiful or defeatist.

Anyway, short summary: too fucking late edition
>>32751000
I actually don't really know how to summarize this. It's got Nanu being a sad old man and Acerola being just the sweetest thing. I quite like it if I say so myself.

>>32766785
What happens is you copy paste the address and take a chance. Lean back, go ahead, it'll take a second to load. Used to be you had to wait for the mail man, but the more things change, the more they stay the same. "The front door opens," it begins, and you wonder whose. Then, something about noise arriving in a punctual way, the way things arrive when they ship UPS and not the other big carriers I'm thinking about.

Narrator gets to gabbing after that, offers a hand of poker and a phony nonchalance like you get from the depressive sort that take to drink. Argues with himself, too, you know the kind; he's holding down a stool in the second best bar in Anytown, U.S.-of-A. You scroll down a bit and take a guess while not letting your eyes focus—don't want to spoil it, yet—and you figure about 1k, so you'll may as well stick with it. Narrator keeps backfilling the plot, something about po' orphans and turning to stray cats to move mattresses. You sense ebb and flow in the prose, establishing a mechanic then stepping back to justify it, and when the backstory catches up to Paragraph First, you realize this is a try at a film noir opening monologue, but it's coming up short in the department of similes involving iconic features of dirty city life, the essential part of the art gone on French leave.

The scene plays itself out from there, like two ships passing in and out of port, with a wave of recognition but both only concerned with not colliding with the other. The dame in these stories is supposed to set the private dick up for a fall and leave with something lingering, but here it's dusting and a can of Boyardee followed by a reminder that He's employed before they go to bed. Knowing what goes on in most fanatic fictions, let's pray nothing depraved occurs after the last full stop.

—
There's a story here somewhere about two people of opposite personality, perspective, station; but it's buried under rushed, unfocused Telling. Establish, then alter.

>>32766785>>32767067
Instinctively I figure this scene should expand into at least 3k, probably more. You're in way too much of a hurry to get Acer on-screen, such that you do it on the first line, snap into a backstory dump, and then rush back to continue from where you left off, and it's short-changing the whole scene.

Everything here is about a last (and too-late) preparation. Capitalize on that. Take enough time establishing Nanu's idleness and his disarrayed hovel such that when his plans get changed, we can feel his distress at being forced out of his groove; that cleaning up the place will seem like an undertaking rather than a couple of lines of repartee. And vitally, cleaning up (etc.) should cause something to happen that advances the plot: Apparently you're building up toward Acer pushing Nanu do be a cop for a change, so have her come across a case folder or something that she can use to motivate his ass. The core theme appears to be that Nanu could be doing shit but isn't, but Acer can cause him to do shit—so he needs to be neglecting present motivations and she needs to be compelling him to respect them.

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>finish a mostly indepth outline for a story
>don't actually want to start writing it
EVERY FUCKING TIME

>>32741757
It depends on the Pokemon and story.

For instance I wrote (well wrote part of) an aura fic that has Ash go back in time because of his aura powers.

And the time period he goes back to has a ruler that has aura and their steeds are shiny Ponyta and Rapidash. Because of the blue tone of aura I made it so that the horse royal bloodline of the rulers has shiny ponyta because it fits well with the setting and theme, and specially flamed horses for the royal family that matches their aura felt like a good fit.

I usually try to avoid shines unless there's a good reason to, but a few years back I really fucking loved Shiny Lucario and wanted one desperately. I wound up creating an older wiser shiny lucario character that was used to train the protagonist to control his aura powers because thought having a rugged gritty lucario was better then your usual old human teacher character since you could train on the go with it.

I was thinking of doing a fanfic about a circus where the performers are all Pokemon. For acts so far, I've come up with a Conkeldur strongman, a Mr. Mime doing mime stuff, and for the finale, a Primarina being shot out of a cannon. Any ideas for the other acts?

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>>32767468
What is this, amateur hour?

>not realizing the gen7 starter first forms are all circus mons
>no Incineroar wrestler/strongman
>no magic act with identical teleporting pokemon
>no beautiful stage hands ala slutroach, Tsareena, Gard etc
>not teaming Primarina up with Buizel/Floatzel for ball juggling act, where the ball is spheal/voltorb
>No lion. All circuses need a lion

But yes, it sounds interesting. Write away.

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>>32767394
Wait for motivation my nigge

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>>32766247
>487 pages
nigger it takes five minutes for my motherfucking hand to cramp up how does an autistic hand handle all that?

>>32768048
Determination

>>32768048
You certainly aren't writing 487 pages all at once. Usually my hand only ever cramped when I went on a rampage and wrote 7 or 8 in one day. It's never really a constant stream of writing, either, because I need time in-between to determine the structure and meaning of the next paragraph. Actually, those 487 pages are only for TMoM. I have handwritten all of my rough drafts since I started on Poppy fics, which means my total is closer to around 600 or 700.

My handwriting is also atrocious now, and I think I've reinvented cursive for myself

>>32768035
>tfw haven't been able to write hot cock in three weeks
I'm still here, just being shat on by stress.

>>32769818
But T.V. and cinema keep telling me that hot cock is supposed to be a stress reliever.

Am I being deceived by popular culture memes?

>>32769404
>Writing in cursive
Nibba I fucking gave up on trying to do that when I was like eight. I've been told that my script looks like ancient hieroglyphics.

>>32711258
Huh, I've read a fic with what's basically a reversal of that prompt:
A retired professional trainer meets a new trainer who is a stereotypical Mary Sue i.e. having a legendary, thinking training is for Pokemon abusers etc.
Shame it died after a few chapters and a rewrite.

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>>32769404
>>32771251
over the course of several years, my handwriting probably evolved. Like i do 'a' 'e' and 'g' ect completely differently than i did when i was a kid. I think it has to do with being born when the switch from physical shit to computer shit was taking effect.
But to keep the thread alive: In your opinion, what is the best Mystery Dungeon game?
For me, it has to be Sky. Compared to the other games, sky had not so much dark, but the heaviest plot. And as i think about it now compared to when i first played it as a kid, its even heavier. The main story alongside the Grovyle special episode is the best piece of fiction i have ever experienced hands down.

>>32769404
I write exclusively in ligatures. Woe betide the professor who insists that "hand-writing assignments is important" and catches me on a day when I'm too exhausted to write like a gentleman.

>>32771473
>Woe betide the professor
it's your grade that gets the 0

>>32771251
Cursive script master race

>>32771848
literally just a bunch of loops

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>>32771968
That's why I love it. It flows naturally. Like a river that loops and bends, a natural complexity that holds the gaze captive in its current.

>Related should have opted for a fancy printing press with block letters, amirite?

In all seriousness write however you want to. Drafts are the unique opportunity to make tangible an intangible idea.

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>>32772200
>oops related (not the only one, either)
"I'm sorry, Tommy; you have to start over or you'll never learn to be careful."

>Related should have opted for a fancy printing press with block letters, amirite?
They did. They're called The Dunlap Broadsides.

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>>32772448
(One of the inserts, in case it didn't jump out at somebody)

>>32772448
You missed the point of my post. I'm not saying they didn't produce block letter versions. The cursive version simply looks nicer.

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>>32771463
For me, Sky is definitely my favorite for all the reasons you stated. I've played all the games except GTI (I know the plot of the game, though) and while Super did add some good features it also took away from and detracted some of the concepts that were introduced in Sky (Such as replacing muh orbs with fuggin' wands and the connection orb being a thing), but I still love all of the games.
There is also a more personal reason for me loving Sky beyond the others and cherishing it as I do. When I was younger, I got really sick and had to go to the hospital numerous times. Comfy Pokémon shenanigans helped me bear through it.
Also I'm going to post a revised version of First Contact on AO3 tonight with the fourth chapter following shortly after. Be ready gents.

>>32771578
I was more joking than anything. foreign professors tend to be much more forgiving anyway

>>32772521
That'd be a good question for the historians: if being hand-written was a desired, perhaps necessary, trait in government documents at the time. The Dunlaps, while rushed, were typeset overnight, so the original document could have been typeset, too. But, given the drafts and revisions, it's also possible that typesetting was too involved a process for something that might have something struck out or penciled in.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6161819/744/Pokedex Rockruff's entry in my pokedex series up.

>>32772624
>if being hand-written was a desired, perhaps necessary, trait in government documents at the time.
Considering the process by which Jefferson had been tasked with drafting the original, then to be edited by the Congress before approval, I'd hazard a guess that it would have been better to have handwritten it, similar to most important documents of that time.

Timothy Matlack's penmanship is the iconic writer on the vellum. Back then, an expert in penmanship had duties in drawing out land deeds, court summons, judgments, and other documents that carried with them substantial legal authority. It was a profession, something that Americans adopted from European culture.

Back to the document. If Jefferson had been telling Timothy what to write, one could expect a few minor typos. But what about a draft? If there were larger mistakes or prior rejects they were likely destroyed considering the Revolutionary War was still underway. There's good reason for inquiry surrounding the document. It's all rather fascinating beyond the script it uses.

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>>32772200
For me, i've just written my first drafts digitally. Then edit and add onto it for the final product.

Emergency page 10 bumpo with some very small content...

>Innuendo
I've tried a couple of times but it was not really picked up, and the one time it was, the people who did apparently recommended my story for best Comedy.

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>>32771463
As a man who cherishes his special doggo, it's Super that struck all the chords with me. Beyond that, though, I only played Darkness and not Sky, and don't really have the will or the chance to do so now. The first games I thought were pretty hype shit when the first came out, and I couldn't beat Gates out of that goddamn text speed, so it's not really that much of a contest for me.

>>32766681
If you're talking about Fallout Equestria, then yeah, I think it was made into a real hardcover version. But it's apparently over 620,000 words long, so it's a very special case.

>>32774968
>Fallout Equestria
Wew lad
Also turns out there's a wait list to get into AO3. Oh well, I get to spend more time twiddling thumbs, which is 4chan's favorite pastime.

>>32775271
>I get to spend more time twiddling thumbs
why not write instead?

>>32775271
Usually it's only a few weeks if that's of any consolation. I think nowadays they even give you an email estimate of when you're due to get the green light.

>>32775282
That spoiler had me good.

>>32775292
>usually
Glad to hear I'm just officially unlucky.

I've abandoned all pretenses that I can get to AO3 for the time being, and am focusing instead on finding any good Pokémon forum besides the three usual ones where I can fit with my usual schedule.

>>32774968
>620,000 words
I've got him beat. No plans for a hardcover, only a sequel.

>>32775314
Yeah with the summer months people have more time to write I guess. Getting wait-listed sucks.

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>>32775282
Technically its the same thing. Political, military and other drama in a fictional world filled with Jap monsters really works out the fingers. Unless the thumb is not a finger. I really don't know.

>>32775314
Can people hand out invites to make the process go faster? I honestly can't remember.

I'm writing an adventure story with yaoi elements and I'm wondering should I jump right in to it with the second chapter? Or should I let it simmer and boil?

>>32775785
VERY IMPORTANT: Jump right into the adventure, or the yaoi?
Those two have basically the opposite answers.

>>32775817
The Yaoi. And it's too late I just finished the big scene for my Chapter 3 even though I'm pretty sure your answer was going to be no.

But I plan to make it secondary to the adventure anyway and I REALLY don't like cock teasing readers or myself for that matter.

>>32775822
It's not just a question of personal interest, but a fundamental part of narrative pacing.

>Adventure
If you're story's gonna focus on an adventure, get to the fucking adventure ASAP. You don't want to cocktease readers but you'll do it anyway by not actually getting the story moving. If the adventure your story is about doesn't start until a third of the story is already over, you need to move the point your story starts at forward to match it.

>Romance
Romance plots require just about the exact opposite approach, for reasons we've discussed recently in this general, I believe. A romance plot is a slow-burner, navigating starting difficulties in the beginning, picking up steam during progression, then escalating just fast enough at the end that you can catch even a savvy reader off-guard. Strictly speaking, you CAN'T put a romance plot off until later; if the two destined (or star-crossed) characters are interacting, that plot is technically moving, so don't be afraid to take it easy initially. Even better; the two characters interaction OUTSIDE the meat of the romance plot will set their 'base state' characterization, so the reader will know that the romance is actually changing them. It will also show their chemistry before their chemistry influences things.

>"But I just want to write a good gay fuckin'"
Go back and read that second point up there; it works just as well for non-romance smut. Shit I wrote a 16k story, only a little over a thousand words were l-lewd, and the buildup to it STILL mattered. At least I think it did. Got a lot of discussion at least. Everyone wants people discussing their stories, right?

>>32775839
I have a feeling you don't understand what exactly I'm doing. So just for you, I'll give you a sneak preview of Chapter 3.
Keep in mind this is the first draft and is probably full of errors I plan to edit it when I get off work in the evening. That's my pattern I write in the early morning hours because that's usually when I feel inspired for some reason then I re-read it in the evening when I'm not as tired and fix all the errors.

https://pastebin.com/2PzM0qQp

There's a kiss scene at the end. But I don't plan to even bring it up in the next few chapters. Since I want to let the adventure take the front seat from here on out. I'll bring it up again when the time is right.


The first two chapters can be found here:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/11150946/chapters/24880449

P.S. if you want some smut you can check out my SunxHau one-shot I did.

>>32775899
Oh, you're that guy. Your stuff is really rough. Don't think you should put so much of a focus on the romance because it may further cheapen your unpolished writing. Take a break and try looking up some basic writing rules: when to use all caps (hint: fucking never), how to start a story during some interesting action instead of "this is my oc they live in this town and wear clothes". And the way the MC nabs his starter is cliche as fuck.

If you want I could go back through your fic and give more detailed criticism. I was planning it but haven't had the chance yet.

>>32775899
Jesus, it's just like the fanfiction I wrote when I was 12.

>>32777644
>how to start a story during some interesting action instead of "this is my oc they live in this town and wear clothes"
Yeah looking at it now I see the massive problem there.

>when to use all caps (hint: fucking never)
Noted.

>And the way the MC nabs his starter is cliche as fuck.
Well that was intentional. I wanted there to be a stark contrast between how senpai and kouhai started their journeys. With emphasis that kouhai had a much easier time of it. But I guess I could revise it.

>Don't think you should put so much of a focus on the romance
Sorry, gonna have to put my foot down on that one. All of my favorite yaoi LNs jump into the romance in a similar way.

Thanks for the criticism. See I wanted to hone my writing skills by writing shitty fanfics semi-anonymously and slowly improving through criticism. Problem, being. No one ever criticizes me. Like ever. Before you the closest thing to critique I got was some guy calling me a pedo because of my smutfic. So yeah thanks. Normally this is the point where I scrap my project and start something new, but I've already grown attached to the two MCs so instead I'm just going to rewrite the first three chapters. I'd like to hear your other criticisms before I do that though.

>>32777699
Harsh, nonconstructive and probably true.

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Anything with people turning into pokemon in a non-PMD, non-apocalyptic setting?
Ideally getting caught as part of the story

>>32777699
Sorry, I didn't mean to be so harsh.
Let me make this a little more constructive.
There's a few sentence fragments. Stuff like "Of finding the Pawniard throwing the Pokeball and running when it didn’t work." Basically if it is not a complete idea, it shouldn't be a sentence.

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>>32778649
I understand your intention of trying to differentiate between the sempai and kouhai, but you can do that in a way that is a little more original. To show sempai's initial bad luck, have him barely manage to catch pawniard while it's trying to slice him to ribbons. According to canon, pokemon are only caught if they want to be, so you could easily just write this off as pawniard thinking "oh hey this brat must be some kinda tough to actually hit me with that plastic ball" and accepting it. But after it's caught, pawniard can still be disobedient and aggressive (stealing sempai's food, slicing at his ankles, refusing praise) until sempai slowly manages to prove himself as a worthy trainer, working up to being worthy of kouhai's admiration.

That was just an example I thought of on the fly, feel free to steal/adapt it or come up with your own. Either way, a murderous knife child suddenly loving this kid who saved his life is kind of unbelievable. Gratitude, however immense, still takes some time to develop into love and devotion.

Also, you should add the trainers' pokemon to the tags. More often than not, "Original Character" is code for boring as fuck, so including their teams in the tags allows people to see what the story has to offer besides you shipping your own two Mary Sues. Had I seen a tag for pawniard, I would have been much more enthusiastic heading into your fic. Also I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd rather see sempai romancing his future bisharp (or the other way around) than that Lilycove fuccboi. It would certainly get you more views.

>>32775899
Okay, here's a more in-depth review of what you need to fix:

You establish that Seth's mom is "overprotective but well-meaning", but then make her full-on Kodomo no Jikan psychotic later in the chapter. You made her into a villainous cartoon character in an attempt to play up Seth's "suffering", which is just retarded. If you want her to be overprotective, make her overprotective. If you want her to be fucking abusive, then make her abusive. Gotta choose one m8.

In general, beginning your story with summarizing prose is... not good. I'd recommend either dialogue or narration that talks about an actual current event. You could begin with the two trainers at the mall talk about the pawniard. Contrary to what Common Core dictates about academics, lead-ins are stupid and usually unnecessary. Don't be afraid to leap right into a conversation. Also, stay away from phrases like
>that would change his life forever
This is stupid. Don't tell me this. If I'm reading your story, I already know the character's life is going to be changed because that's literally what a story is.

>who gets near it.” said the first trainer.
Change the first period to a comma since you narrate after it.

>Suddenly a feeling of destiny surged within Seth.
More cliche shit. Cheapens your story.

>That Pawniard was going to be his partner. He didn’t know why he thought that, but he was positive it was true.
Yeah this shit doesn't happen IRL. Cliche garbage.

>>32775899
pt 2

>The truth was Seth didn’t actually have any friends since he spent every day stalking Pokemon trainers at the mall.
Why is the narrator telling me this? This is an important bit of Seth's characterization. It should be given that respect when revealed. If his mother is so well-meaning and keeps such a close eye on him, she would know he has no friends, and would call him on his bluff. There's no way she's never asked if "his friends" would like to come over for lunch, or have a sleepover, or play in the pool, or whatever. What happens on Seth's birthdays? How does he make excuses about that? His mom wouldn't fall for this tired old lie, which would make Seth unable to escape her wrath at this time, which would thus make you have to rewrite quite a few scenes. This is what happens when what you want to ideally happen doesn't match up with The Rules of your own world. You got some thinking to do.

Also how does he not have friends just because he doesn't spend his free time at da club? He goes to school. He has neighbors (unless he lives in the ghetto). If he spends the majority of his waking hours surrounded by hundreds of other children and really doesn't have a single friend, then that's something you need to establish and explore at some point. I think you really need to solidify your world and characters before you continue. You seem to be inclined to make allowances for yourself that go against basic establishment.

>After finding a picture of one and memorizing it’s red armor
>it's
its

>etc.
You probably shouldn't be using "etcetera" in your narration, and you certainly shouldn't be abbreviating it.

>he reached into his backpack and retrieved a Pokeball. Seth chucked the Pokeball in the Pawniard’s direction but undershot it, the Pokeball just landed

Find some synonyms so you're not repeating poke ball over three times on the same line

>>32775899
pt 3

“They always made it look so easy in that cartoon.” Seth thought to himself. Thinking back to his favorite morning cartoon involving a young trainer and his two friends travelling around Kanto.
This is cliche and borders on comic relief. Worthless filler.

>The Pawniard jumped up looking furious, it stomped on the Pokeball, breaking it then glared at Seth.
Split into two sentences and reword it.

>Once Seth was safely away from the Pawniard
I find it hard to believe he could escape so easily. Is he still in the woods, or did he make it back to town? If he's at least in a semi-populated area, I could see why the pawniard would choose not to follow.

>He was hoping to find the trick to throwing Pokeballs. He found out that there was a stance similar to how a baseball pitcher stands.

You gave him a cheat to actually having a good arm? This little faggot should be spending weeks at baseball practice, not reading a book on how to be a good pitcher. Jesus. You can't say you wanted sempai to have a rockier start and then give him free passes on actually putting effort into capturing a feral creature.

>When he got to Route 121 he immediately checked the spot he found the Pawniard last time, and sure enough he could see the Pawniard’s red helmet-like head. “This must be his hangout.” Seth thought to himself.

Bullshit easy mode. No reason to make this easy when you could be making him put in some effort. Even if pawniard has a hangout, he still has to hunt, make dirt, follow pretty butterflies into haunted villages, etc.

>For over a month Seth would repeat this cycle.
For over a month his mom ignored her son's blood-stained laundry? Again, bullshit. You have to think things through more thoroughly.

Furthermore, the whole "special poke ball for free" is just a cheat to let Seth catch his pokemon in a preetttyyyy baaallll. Any idiot could tell what you were doing when you set that up.

>>32775899
pt 4

How did pawniard end up in bad shape? It can skewer anything and everything that comes its way, except for fire and fighting types. Route 121 has none of those. Unless a kecleon stole a TM for Fire Blast or Mega Punch then I doubt pawniard would have ended up beaten in a fight, at least not without the corpse of its attacker flayed beside it.

Later in the chapter you call his mom "unstable". Yeah, that means she's more than just overprotective. She's manic. She even locks him in his room (what door even have outer locks anymore? Did she install a fucking padlock?)

>He looked out his window and could see the glowing red roof of the Pokemon Center in the distance.

If he lives so close to the pokemon center, why doesn't he stalk trainers there? I'm pretty sure he's going to find far fewer of them in the Sears appliance section at the local mall than he will at a canon-established trainer hub.

>Seth made a rope out of bedsheets and tossed it out the window

What did he tie it to? His locked door? Unless he has an antique mahogany bedframe with carved pillars, I doubt a 13 year old has any furniture that will support his weight without sliding loudly across the floor. And how could his mom not notice? Are there no windows on that side of the house? Is it the garage side? I can't trust that you've actually thought that far so I have to bring it up.

>“In fact here’s his Pokeball. Take care of him now!”
Yeah, you said earlier that you wanted Seth's process of getting his pawniard to reflect his rough start. When I said it was cliche, I was talking about this shit. This brat doesn't even have a trainer card yet. How can Nurse Joy trust him with a ball? Realistically, she'd be sending it to the professor for rehabilitation or something.

>>32775899
finally, pt5

>“Together you and I are going to make the best team just you wait.”
>wondering what kind of trainer he wanted to be.
This is the kinda "i'm gonna be the best ____ ever" cliche that is extremely overused, especially in pokemon. Why does Seth need to be a certain kind of trainer? From what I see, he has reason enough to want to be away from home, and training is the only fully independent profession a child can legally hold in the pokemon world, so of course he'll go for that. He doesn't need to have big tournament dreams. His dream should be to not be imprisoned by his psychobitch mother.

That's what I got from the first chapter. Once you make your story good, you can worry about harder details like how not to write prose like a 5th grader (don't fret too much, thousands of published authors don't even know how to do that, so it's not so much a personal insult as it is a common problem in the medium). Put your thinking cap on, my friend.

>>32779788
>>32779940
>>32780469
>>32780789
>>32780821
Jesus.
If I knew you were gonna go all out like that I would asked you to PM me on Fanfiction or something.

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>>32782561
Sorry m8. I considered doing it on ao3 but then I remembered it has no messaging system. Plus I figured any on-topic thread bump is good.

>>32782561
but this way we all learn from it

>>32782561
Well shit don't delete it until you've replaced it

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>spend all my time touching up old chapters and adding content to them instead of writing new ones

>>32783930
I've got bad news: There's no cure for our affliction.

>>32783941
Eventually I'll run out of ground to retread.

Hopefully my first-time readers enjoy reading slightly improved chapters I spend hours slaving over.

Hello, I'm feeling without any idea, so I will write some of yours... feel free to request.

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>>32783984
SFW or NSFW?

Requesting a story about a trainer learning that his Tsareena has feelings for him despite her haughty, arrogant attitude towards him, and he uses those feelings to his advantage as means of payback.

Examples: him suddenly bringing up that he's in a relationship with someone (not, but she believes) and indulges a bit in detail.
Him using her words against her that means (why do you care, you're better, right?)
Ignoring her.
Pampering other mons.

Y'know, things that make her jealous/ashamed of what she did, until she fears that she will lose him (or he will outright abandon her) and declares her love or takes more lewd desperate measures, leading to fug before he can reveal the truth. Of course, whether he reveals the truth afterwards or not is up to you.

>>32784022
SFW. Peferably, because I'm a little bit messed with Sex and that stuff.

>>32784039
Then discount the NSFW bit on >>32784022

>>32783965
That's what I thought.
Then, I wrote and inserted three chapters leading up to the first chapter.
And the affliction returned.

I've only added some Chapter 7 this week; I think I "finished" Chapter 6, nee Chapter 3, a few months ago. (Or was it last year?)

Suffering.

>>32784062
OKI

>>32784093
To my credit, the majority of the expansion is happening because I handled the chapters poorly when I first wrote them.

So far, according to people who have read both versions, I am improving things as I go, so that's something.

>>32779059
I recall one at a time that took place in platinum but lost steam towards the end. I'll try to find it.

>>32784146
After letting the beginning move back, the addition to mine got a lot bigger because I caught myself taking a shortcut. Unshortcutting it changed it so much I can only pray that it's not a mistake since it's basically a different story now.

I don't know if that counts as mishandling or just one of the many ways "winging it" manifests.

It's worse to be stuck at the end of a work rather than at the beginning.
Time to impose some hard deadlines. I don't think I'll manage an update this thread. Granted, it's a significant chapter.

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Well, after some extensive rewriting and additions, here's [Vines of Deceit] Chapter 7 "Stretch Your Legs": http://archiveofourown.org/works/9294437/chapters/25049565

It was hard to settle on an image to post with this chapter.

>>32783333
Oh. Sorry.
They're still up on Fanfiction here: https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_edit_property.php?storyid=12523527

They'll be replaced in a couple days so read them now.

>>32785072
nice url
but it's okay, I'll use the search function

>>32785127
Whoops.

noon bump

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>take cge's advice on how "an intelligent tauros would take on a domestic situation from a bull's perspective"
>look up what my poke MC's species must be based on
>a lizard
>well that's descriptive
Time to scour 13 wikipedia articles on various lizard species and their characteristics

Almost done scouring my doc for bullshit. Just gotta make extra sure MC isn't just a human in a pokemon suit. Friendly reminded to thread-goers to do the same for your own work because no one wants to read that garbage.

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>>32787667
But PMD is about humans in pokemon suits.

>>32787693
Oh my god Servine is one letter away from service what the fuck

>>32787709
Is this the first time you've noticed that some pokemon names are similar to dictionary words?

>>32787693
Which is precisely why I don't read PMD fics.

I wrote a short Trainer x Primarina story today. Just a quick little thing to maybe get my writing juices flowing again. I'm going to post the link so you guys can critique me and make me feel awful.aboit what I've done.

https://pastebin.com/BTm4S619

It's sexual, so, not safe for work I guess.

>>32787947
>pokemon
>animals

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>>32787693
It would result in a terrible "is this relatable?" factor for the player if it weren't. Same goes for writing.

People were talking about how Pokemon understand Human language, and it does seem like a neat topic, but I always thought of them being closer to Familiars from Dungeons and Dragons than plain old Animals. Even if they don't talk, throwing the Pokeball starts the pact and going through all the battles just solidifies the link.


At the same time, I think I'm talking about them from a /tg/ perspective. Since Trainers are so often by themselves, you're going to need to have those new captures start squeaking and emoting directions and hints from the GM. It makes the whole thing more immersive when the Pokemon themselves are characters in their own right that players/readers get to know.

>>32788120
It's understandable that a main character might need some leverage in order to click with a reader, but PMD typically has a much more broad definition of what makes a pokemon what it is. They are beasts, and they do behave like them, but there is far more anthropomorphism involved with the setting itself.The partner and main character cannot exhibit beastly traits in the game's writing, as it is meant to cover a broad spectrum of pokemon from all the starters they could be. In fiction, however, those variables are defined in stone and, therefore, can be attributed the right characteristics for that species. But they aren't those characteristics alone, and it would make the story unrealistic for the setting if they were.

>>32788367
>They are beasts, and they do behave like them
I played a little of one of them:
• Houses.
• Stores.
• Postal system.

What savages.

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>>32788367
>>32787667
I'm reminded of the Pokerole and Changeling tabletop games. Both deal with finding yourself transformed and having to deal with a whole new set of desires and needs.

In a story, I could see spending a few paragraphs showing how the Pokemon side is pushing into the Human side, like someone giving in and using their hind legs to scratch their eras, or a vegetarian acknowledging their new body needs to eat meat.

At least, that's what I hope you guys were talking about...

>>32788437
There is a very distinct divide between the pokemon you find in mystery dungeons and the pokemon who build civilization. An author's purpose might be to create a blend of these lines.

>>32788441
Less so humans into pokemon, more so pokemon into humans

>>32787693
That's what it should not be. Then again it does purposefully stray not far from the idea of "human" animals.

>>32788347
>Pokémon DnD
Fund it.

>>32788367
Designing a character that doesn't fall in line with the status quo for the chosen species is what makes them special.
>>32788537
Perhaps the wild pokemon in dungeons have feral tendencies. However a narrative should care about are the heroes, villagers, and villains. What are their personalities? Are they like anyone I know in real life? Any interesting peculiarities between the species and their demeanor that make them a unique individual? Make those characters stand out in an impacting manner and you have readers able to appreciate the story than if you chose to make the fic into a zootopia.

>>32788441
I guess kinda? Like, how would a very intelligent but still wild creature adapt to life among humans and other trained mons. That's pretty much what happens to any captured pokemon and to ferals who decide to live inside cities. Your housecat is going to adapt to your personality and schedule as a pet owner, but it's not gonna understand why you do the things you do (in other words, human culture and its impact on your daily life). The sneasel you just caught? It'll think about that stuff, maybe as much as a very young child would. And because it'll think about it, human culture will have an impact on its own interpretation of itself and the world. Catch my drift?

>somehow wind up writing 6k words last night
>it's something that I'll never use in the story
I mean, I'm glad I wrote something finally. But for it to be something that's not going to be included in what I'm writing makes it feel like a waste.

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>>32788646
>Your housecat is going to adapt to your personality and schedule as a pet owner, but it's not gonna understand why you do the things you do (in other words, human culture and its impact on your daily life). The sneasel you just caught? It'll think about that stuff, maybe as much as a very young child would. And because it'll think about it, human culture will have an impact on its own interpretation of itself and the world. Catch my drift?
I like this. Thanks for the prompt.

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>>32788367
I just wanted to write not have an existential crisis
But joking aside: Its really what you make out of it. At the end of the day PMD is a game, so it had to cut alot of corners in the story to fit the mechanics of the game. Things like intelligent pokemon making cities while you have a bunch of randos in a dungeon is not explained. In terms of fanshit, this can be a good thing. Because it stays so vague, people can have their own interpretations. It's what you make of it and where you want to lead it. Your choice how far on the autism spectrum you're willing to go.
My interpretation is that the pokemon in certain dungeons don't always have to be 'feral.' Take the dungeon in Super for example, where that grass-type wanted to get some honey and they run into some very territorial bees. Could just be a bunch of faggots in the middle of nowhere having their own little tribe roleplay.

>>32788646
Well this begs the question of how much a caught Pokemon can be taught about human culture and how much it can internalize, understand and/or abide by it. I have my own set of responses and understanding of it, but this is more a general question. Another question that runs parallel to it: is the sneasel young or old? Does it matter? How much? This is probably tangential to the discussion at hand but I find these kinds of questions fascinating and something to keep in mind when I write.

>>32788679
No possibility of turning it into a oneshot / drabble / gaiden / your personal blog?

>>32788726
Like there's always gonna be a species divide between pokemon, of course there will be. Some are less intelligent than others simply because of genetics n shit. I don't think a writer should just put these limitations and genetic shits as a wall for their writing though. I don't know if i'm making sense but for an example.
Like you could have a cherish dog, and from what you know from just looking at the character's artwork and from the fics you've already read you could infer that they're very proud niggas. They have a skyscraper of an ego or something along those lines. Now that works sure, but as a writer you can add to it, or subtract as much as you need to make something that you want. Like the fox could be egotistical, sure, and yea that's a genetic thing sure. but it's not stupid, it knows it has this issue, so maybe it tries to be more sympathetic or understanding of others, to try and put a leash on it's personality.
Or maybe a type of pokemon that can be hotheaded, attempting to better themselves by being calm and collected.
But i mean fuck, even the main pokemon writers are not getting as autistic as we are, how far has humanity fallen.
not far enough

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>>32788679
I'm sure it's an idea you can use down the road. Just don't think it was for nothing, all writing has a purpose.

>>32788784
Humanity hasn't fallen far. Dante's Inferno has existed for some time after all.

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>>32788755
It could turn into a oneshot or a "special" chapter that gets put into the story at some point, but it doesn't really fit the atmosphere.

>>32788805
I'm glad I wrote it, just wish I had a use for it.

>>32783965
I hear that, once I get approved for Autism of our Own III I hope this will be the case for my own work.

>>32788543
>Pokemon DnD
You can do that now. Pokemon Tabletop United is based on DnD, and it's pretty fun though really heavy at times. Pokerole is lighter on the math.

You do have to take into account that you'll need to change up some tactics that work in the game that might not be as effective in the tabletop once ranges and Areas of Effects come into play.

>>32788679
Hey man, I'm still using characters I made when I was 10. Everything you create will serve a purpose. It could take ages, but nothing is useless.

>>32788543
>Then again it does purposefully stray not far from the idea of "human" animals.
I seek to explore this in First Contact. Humans who have never seen Pokemon before having to deal with their territorial and naive faggotry.

>>32757062 here. I began writing on my idea.
Sushi High Roller

>>32757062 here. I began writing on this idea myself.


>After you paid a hefty amount of money at the Sushi High Roller and ate your well-earned meals, you are prepared to leave the restaurant but before you do, something comes to your mind: would one those girls working here be interested in dating me?

So how would I go about writing the characters in this fix like what to begin with?

>>32788537
The games (at least explorers) state that unaware pokemon caught up in mystery dungeons lose themselves and turn wild.

>>32789307
It's your story, so you have total freedom. I'll spitball a couple ideas. Start out with who is the protag? Are they shy or bold? Changes how you approach the dating. Is there serendipity, does something unusual happen that leads to the date? Or is it just a casual instance of "hey, you're cute" ? Common interests, pokemon might also be on scene when this is all going down.

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>>32789473
is that was happens when you stay too long

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>>32789648
Oh shit

>>32789648
They say that mystery dungeons can crop up anywhere and are basically distoted areas of space-time so yes, probably

How do you guys write your stories? Do you do an outline and plan out how each character develops or changes?

I'm asking because I've slowly started to think about writing a novelization of SM (Or USUM when it comes out) but frankly I've never written anything before and don't really want to make shitty mistakes. Any tips? Suggestions?

>>32790122
>I've never written anything before and don't really want to make shitty mistakes.
You are going to make shitty mistakes. Don't worry about that. Learn from critique on your first piece (don't take it personally), and don't repeat the shitty mistakes. You'll lose most of them after a hundred thousand words or two.

>How do you guys write your stories?
One word at a time.
>Do you do an outline and plan out how each character develops or changes?
Some do and some don't. I'm in the "Don't" category. When an idea strikes me as interesting I imagine it as an opening scene, and if I can get a thousand words out of that, I see if I can find a motif/moral in the concept, and then I just write my way toward that. Hence, my method is organic.

Some writers prefer a synthetic route, starting with a bare-bones plot arc and decorating it with layers of stuff until it becomes a story. This has the advantage of letting you see early the overall form and scope of your story, but it also means that really you're just taking a few-lines story and padding it to length, in my opinion.

Do whatever works for you. The only rule is to Be Interesting, and the only guideline is Show, Don't Tell. (That is, prefer to depict events with character action over letting the narrator rattle off a list of things that happen, unless you have a particular reason to do it that way, and even then it's a compromise.)

>Suggestions?
Write a one-off, 4k to 8k in length. Once you've gotten a footing, you can worry about 40k-80k.

>>32789473
I would like more stories that show this. It's interesting to see and horrifying in so many levels.
Imagine over time, just stuck in a dungeon, with no hope to leave because you're hopelessly lost or injured. You start to slowly lose your mind- your wisdom and intelligence. Before long, you'
re just another wild dungeon Pokemon. Would make for a good short story.

Also, I only know one fic. that delves into the concept and that's https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8988873/1/Aquifer-A-Prophet-s-Guide-to-Dungeoneering

>>32790237
What about characters? I've read quite a few fanfics with unbelievable Mary Sues and I'd rather not create one. I've also read stories in which people try too hard to make a character not a Mary Sue and that character just comes off as pathetic and lame. How do you find a balance?

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>>32790503
>I've read quite a few fanfics with unbelievable Mary Sues...also read stories in which people try too hard to make a character not a Mary Sue...How do you find a balance?

Easy, just put in some mundane, lulzy flaw that has no bearing whatsoever on the plot, like so:
>My name is GLAXOR THE DESTROYER!!111! As a MUTATED SHINY HOOTHOOT, I have the power to TRAVERSE DIMENSIONS and INFLICT MY WILL ON THESE MERE MORTALS! Also I'M REALLY CLUMSY xd ITS REALLY A BIG PERSONAL FLAW OF MINE but that doesn't stop me from SLAYING DEMONS AND PHOX POON at the same time!!!

>>32790503
>I've also read stories in which people try too hard to make a character not a Mary Sue and that character just comes off as pathetic and lame.
Where? I've never seen this.

>>32790503
At one time, the accusation of being a Mary Sue held some weight. That's not the case anymore.

Instead on worrying about the charaistics or signs of being a Sue, focus on making sure there are stakes and drama. The reason why Mary Sues are boring is because there's no tension in watching someone effortlessly solve their problems.
A good example of a would-be Mary Sue being kept in check by good writing is Superman. He has power to spare, but most of the drama comes from having to balance his attention or to make tougg ethical decisions.

>>32788895
>is based on DnD
Very important; WHICH DnD?

>>32790503
>What about characters?
I usually have a few. They give the narrator some people to talk about.

>I've read quite a few fanfics with unbelievable Mary Sues and I'd rather not create one.
You're familiar with them, so keep your nostrils open in case something you write fails the smell test.

>I've also read stories in which people try too hard to make a character not a Mary Sue and that character just comes off as pathetic and lame.
They probably followed some "guide" from a stranger's blog and mistook it for gospel. As long as you don't cheat your other characters (and the world itself) to protect the protagonist's comfort, you'll be okay. Silly notions like "Give the character a flaw" is a bandage, not a technique. It's to remedy the problem of a novice author making a list of admirable attributes and then calling that a character. A character defined by imagining a kind of person living in the chosen setting will come with plenty of flaws already.

>How do you find a balance?
I avoid creating imbalance in the first place by imagining personalities and letting them show me their attributes, admirable or otherwise.