/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

fuck all y'all

What are the official server rules on people under 18 playing?

PJB is only 16.

>>175639638
[godblunt toke]
[laser fire]

>>175639839
Admins don't really care unless you're obnoxiously retarded

Vox are the strongest race in space

>>175639839
Why do you have to open up server with pjb shitposting, can't we just discuss the game and when that gets boring we can discuss husbandos

6th for post waifus you wanna see milf'd

>>175640021
How do I get my husbando to notice me?

>>175639839
Sawbones is like 13 so it doesnt matter

>be traitor plasmeme chemist
>only other medbay staff is another chemist
>he's also a traitor, and immediately buys a double esword and tries to kill me with it
>run away, buy an ebow, shoot him and kill him with his own sword
>hide the body, wipe up the blood and go back to making medicine
>by the time I make some clonex, the captain is running in in his traditional armored trenchcoat magboots combo
>immediately makes some hyperzine
>doesn't color the pills
>pull out my ebow, shoot him, then decapitate him with the double esword and disposal his head
>he gets out a "CHEMIST KILLING ME" before dying
>AI proceeds to lock me down
>figure I'll just keep making chems then
>nope, AI's gotta get them valids and decides to fill the plasma beaker I was going to make some cryox with with water potassium (if that had breached the station wouldn't it have caused human harm?)
>at some point give an engineer one of the captain id's and tell him to go change the AI's laws
>he doesn't
>the lawyer sees this and has a shitfit about it, as if he has any more right to the spare than that guy (that nerd also ahelped me killing the captain when I did it with an esword, what a fag)
>after a while give a miner the other captain id and tell him to go change the laws
>he leaves, and apparently gets in a fight with a ling but manages to change the laws to make me human
>by this point the captain's head has been found and he was cloned
>set up a trap by putting a back pack on top of syndie soap
>the captain and lawyer fag run in and fall for it
>behead them both
>a warden shows up and gets me with a flashbang
>he cuffs me and takes me to the brig
>the engineer I gave the id to earlier shows up, I rat out that he has the spare because he never changed the AI's laws after promising and I felt betrayed
>he redeems himself by attacking the warden
>run out, an atmos tech uncuffs me
>>175639784
I thought that was what you were doing but I couldn't find any of those words in my notes (cont)

>>175640515
>wouldn't it have caused human harm
aren't plasmamen not human and isn't it in the AI's best interest to have a murderous plasmaman killed?

>>175639675
>tfw no husbando to hold me tight and protect me from lings

>>175640227
You kidnap him when you get traitor and force him to marry you in a shotgun wedding

>>175640037
Ashe Mallory!

>>175640515
I didn't care about the spare, nor saving you, just wanted the warden dead to not hinder my succing

>>175640515
>run to medbay, grab the heads and go to escape to space them
>when I try to go back inside the AI shocks me
>go around, AI is shocking every fucking door (REALLY gotta get those valids)
>a radstorm happens at the worst time
>gives me hulk, break a few walls and head inside, but radiation is a hell of a drug
>forget I have explosive implant so just explode in maint
>>175640615
Causing a breach would still ZAS nearby humans into walls and hurt them. Chemistry isn't walled off, there are desks.

>>175640716
the AI could close the windows and firelocks to prevent a breach from spreading. at this point you're heading down the law 1 rabbit hole and it won't end well.

also i wasn't an atmos tech, i was a traitor scientist trying to work with you

>>175640885
>the AI could close the windows
It didn't, though.

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>>175640291

>I just realised this game is TTT for autists

A prison version of SS13 would be pretty neat.
>station is an off base prison colony
>bulk of players spawn in as prisoners with various thresholds of allowed levels of violence
>admin "hands off" policy for most cases
>other people can play as security, prison medics, a chaplain or the warden
>these people can have secret objectives to sabotage certain things on the prison
>underlying loyalties like the one gang of prisoners bribing a security officer to look the other way as they assault a poor unsuspecting prisoner
>the chaplain that supplies one gang with contraband like drugs, weapons in bibles or even firearms in a rare instance
>prisoners can have generated back stories to play along with like having knowledge of a known snitch/target that they must kill without getting caught
>there is a section of the colony where prisoners are put to manual labor in an outside mining facility where they wear explosive collars that will detonate if they attempt to escape or attack others
>as a security officer, you can be assigned to overwatch them and possibly look the other way as an inmate you have ties with caves another one's face off with a pickaxe
>complex refining facility and small out of sight pockets of storage are all around the station as you can hide contraband like drugs or weapons around to strategically place around or hide quickly in leu of a random search by the security team

I need cool builds to add to my ss13 folder.

POST COOL BUILDS

>>175640926
>various thresholds of allowed levels of violence

That'd end in "HYELP SEC ABUSING ME PRISON RIOT PRISON RIOT" every round

>>175641031
I wouldn't think so. This is all assuming players don't spawn with mics

>>175640661
Would this get me banned?

If not, I'm totally gonna do it.

How about this, if you examine someone it shows you a snapshot of what their webcam sees at that time. This encourages roleplay as people will cosplay as their characters and then get more into character!

>>175641443
you can do anything as antag if it's not ERP

>>175641443
It won't get you banned, pick a good husband!

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If a waifu has a mechanical heart is she still capable of love?

>>175642258
No, but if you take her heart, it will never rot.

>>175641443
I've done it in the past and even gotten the funminds involved.

If I'm not any antagonist role, is it against the server rules to attempt anything antagonistic?

You can inject power cells with plasma? What is this?

not being able to kill in self defences is a major downside of clown that no one talks about
if some unrobust TG newfag spergs out on me and tries to kill me as an assistant, I will just just end them
but as a clown you are held higher expectations, you need to outhonk people trying to kill you

>slip and fart on a cargo tech in the bar (honk)
>he responds by trying to kill me with my violin
>slip and try to disposal them
>random greyshit intervenes and start punching me
>bartender shotguns me
>manage to disposal original cargo tech and calm down crowd
>cargo tech comes back with a pick axe to try and kill me again
>disarm him and toss his pick axe over the bar
>bartender puts the pick axe back on the fucking counter
>disarm/slip the cargo tech again, and throw his pick axe in disposal
>cargo tech sulks off back to cargo

people need to the fuck chill out, a little honking is not a green light for valids

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How long should a murderboner last? I need to go to sleep

law 2 suck my dick

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>>175643827
law poo suck my duck

https://github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/14772

Is this actually good for the game or is it another "ha ha funny meme mr bones"?

>>175644008
dumb shit that shouldn't be merged but probably will because

>metaclub

instead of making better sprites for shit that needs sprites we get meme geese

>>175644008
Shit. We already have space bears.

The sprite looks like something from Courage the Cowardly Dog, and doesn't match the game's art style at all.

>>175643335
Maybe they are beating you up because you picked the job who's task is to either get beat up or entertain

>>175644008
>2016 /vg/
>snowmap, parallax, antag datums
>2017 /vg/
>geese

>sandy_sand giving a regular slime time stop
https://github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/14770

>>175644564
Phazon is so rare, I''m totally fine with this.

The slot machine thing is stupid as hell though, and the pr should be rejected just for that.

>>175644637
>Phazon is so rare
Xenobiology is capable of mass-producing it.

>>175644667
Exactly they will just mass produce the last slime in a chain, as well as the other last slime in a chain, just so they can spam a 2 second timestop because there are no way simpler ways for them to antag

>>175644667
You're talking about getting both adamantine slimes and sepia slimes, getting enough spare gold that you can make phazon, and then getting a chance to use a temporary, screen sized time stop, all before the round ends.

100% acceptable when you can just get a bunch of eguns 10 minutes into the game, or get 5 bombcap bombs in 15 minutes, with less work, or just spend telecrystals on ebows swords.

>>175640716
>>175640515
That is not hunting for valids it is literally compelled by its laws to stop you and the most effective way is just to kill you especially considering that you are armed and dangerous.
It is also possible that the AI knew the correct mix to not breach since anything under 50 water potas won't breach.

Next time don't kill a human as a non-human when the AI can see it.

>>175644008
Seems like fluff
Reminds me of duck game.

>>175645001
I'm getting really sick of "Earth animal, but in space!" mobs.

>>175645001
>a goose reminds me of a game about ducks

http://www.strawpoll.me/12872499

>>175645153
There is literally not a single instance pf people that "roleplay too much" bar the occasional HoP who gets lynched for doing paperwork

I assume all those people voting for that option are the powegay shitters

What's the most effective space cooling for plasma tanks?
What's the quickest way to get a -273 Plasma Canister with enough Plasma in it to fill some tanks?

>>175644926
>It is also possible that the AI knew the correct mix to not breach since anything under 50 water potas won't breach.
About 35 and up has a chance to breach.

Which day is the day we ban everyone who is on the Discord?

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even vox know what 3d women are NOT important

>>175645153
Absolutely shitty poll that tells nothing.
The real issue is between those who want more rules vs those who don't want more or instead want less.

>>175646041
Today.

If inaprovaline prevented drag damage would people use it more

>>175645412

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=3573

Roleplay.

>>175645708
Proofs?

>>175646927
The proofs is that heavy explosion damage has a chance to breach if you've ever seen a welderbomb, and either 35 or 40 waterpotas is the minimum for heavy.

>Robotocist named Thomas Light
>Blamed for subverting a borg that murders a random woman by the captain Andrew Wily
>Goes on on a jury trial
>Verdict is not guilty
>Crew riots and tries to lynch him

>>175647604
The captain better have been a traitor

>>175647698
It doesn't matter. Now listen, "the good doctor" has to pay

Do you guys think my wife, Affy Taff, is coming back?

>tfw the HoS doesn't accept the bribe of your entire virtual wallet and your photocopied ass picture for the release of the clown
We just needed Ian for a great prank man. For fucks sake I even brought you discount batman as a gift. You truly were a man of the law, aren't you?

>>175648308
I was too autistic to understand, sorry. I thought you were just giving him money.
It was however VERY funny seeing the clown with 850 BURN DAMAGE from attempting to hack a door seeing as it was a "someone wired the engines to the grid" episode. I'm surprised I even found a clown and not a burned mess.

[01:24:31]ADMIN: HELP: _Riekland/(Ailsa Dochartaigh): Cleveland Rhinehart says, "I just put some pbr in my vape shit's wicked good rn" - heard by 1 non-AFK admins.
[01:24:49]ADMIN: Zealotron/(Sawbones) jumped to _Riekland/(Ailsa Dochartaigh)
[01:24:58]ADMIN: PM: Zealotron/(Sawbones)->_Riekland/(Ailsa Dochartaigh): is pbr a flavor
[01:25:16]ADMIN: PM: _Riekland/(Ailsa Dochartaigh)->Zealotron/(Sawbones): I think he meant pbj?
[01:25:19]ADMIN: PM: Zealotron/(Sawbones)->A_Real_Shame/(Cleveland Rhinehart): hey, don't say stuff like uhh pbr or rn in character please
[01:25:57]ADMIN: (reeeeimstupid/) started the game as a Captain.
[01:26:52]ADMIN: PM: Zealotron/(Sawbones)->A_Real_Shame/(Cleveland Rhinehart): what the hells a pbr in vape terms
[01:27:40]ADMIN: PM: A_Real_Shame/(Cleveland Rhinehart)->Zealotron/(Sawbones): lol i'm new to this sorry, i was just trying to say stupid shit didn't know about the whole rp thing yet

>>175648432
>>175648432
>I was merely trying to be stupid

>>175648432
>he doesnt know what a PBR is
Granted it's a shit beer, but damn, where'd all these children come from?

>>175648372
I saw the sparks fly off the door and tried to save the clown but I didn't quite give the door enough time to cool off. it was pretty funny though.

>>175648559
>only real adults like me have bad taste in alcohol

>>175648432
NEWFAG PURGE WHEN?

BAN EVERYONE WHO FLOODED IN DURING THE TG OUTAGE

24/7 BUNKER FOR A MONTH AS WELL

THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH

>>175648596
SHUT
IT
DOWN

>>175648559
Sawbones and Peanut Butter Jelly are both <18

>>175648595
>he likes PBR

Ban everyone who's ckey was made after January 1st, 2016.

Would this save /vg/?

>>175648656
Sawbones ckey was made long before then so no.

I've already read all of

http://ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Adminhelps

Where can I read more funny ahelps n shit? Stuff like the origins of "does blob not evoluate without oxygen??" and stuff

>>175648634
Are you fucking illiterate?
You're a fucking drunky, so probably.

>>175648626
Makes sense

>>175648680
Made after October 31st, 2016
Made before October 31st, 2015

THIS SAVES /vg/

>>175648691
That shit is lost to time

>>175647213
Welderbombs always breach. I'm asking for proofs regarding the random chance.

>>175648308
I appreciate all of your efforts to free me.
All in all I spent like 50 minutes in the brig that round, and I was ready for it to be over.

I love being RoboCop AI and punish sec when they think that "Serve the public trust" = "Serve security".
You'd be surprised how assmad it makes them to refuse to be their little bitch.

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>are there vape pins in game

>>175648847
That's why you always ask the AI "AI, please define the public trust in your own words" before uploading robocop in case it says something dumb like "The Public Trust is an individual who I have not yet located on the manifest."

>>175649239
The public trust is not an entity but a concept.
The public trust is the entirety of its inhabitants. To serve this trust you have to cater to the betterment of the majority rather than the individual
If sec gets out of line without proper justification you slam their asses

>>175649485
How does this relate to my post...?

>>175649567
sorry, that was rude. I could've said that differently

Is discount dan part of the VapeNation?

>>175649567
>>175649825
I thought you assumed I was some shitter ai that would use such a bad law interpretation as the one you mentioned

http://ss13.moe/index.php/poll/104

Let's make busta nuts hardcore again- together!

>>175648919
hey just wondering can we add vape pens as like a joke item? haha

>>175652907
sure as a joke haha

GREYTIDE STATION WIDE

I hate myself and I want to die.

FUCK YOU WILLY
FUCK YOU SO HARD
FUCK YOU
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK YOU TOO BOTANIST YOU SACK OF ABORTIONS

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Ailsa Dochartaigh [Common] (Security Officer) says, "And the CONSTANT TELEPORTING DURING CHASES"
Ailsa Dochartaigh [Common] (Security Officer) says, "THE WARDEN IS DEAD"
Ailsa Dochartaigh [Common] (Security Officer) says, "BECAUSE WILLY HAD ONE OF YOUR FUCING FAGGOT TOMATOS"

>>175653292
>all that over the multi tool
I had forgotten I had taken it and was too busy laughing to even be salty 10/10 greytide

>>175653328
start running everyday

>>175653341
*fart

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>>175653401
I HATE YOU SO MUCH
I WAS SO NICE TO YOU
I DIDNT ARREST YOU FOR ASSAULT ON AN OFFICER
I DIDNT EVEN BEGRUDGE YOU
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>175653498
calm down alisa

>>175653498
I'm sorry Ailsa but sometimes you just can't stop the tide

I was going to try and mix a lot of plant-b-gone in a chem sprayer for the kudzu. It needs "toxin" though and there's no recipe for that apparently.

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>>175653349
>prank the station
>it's all fun and games
>everyone is having fun
>Ailsa is turbosperging
>she loses her gun
>I personally return it to her
>I tell her how to cure herself of the drunkenness effect
>I cooperate with her search request
>she stuns me and beats me to death
last time I'm ever cooperating with sec.

>willy gets in a greytide war against sec
>sec too busy to kill the spider queen locked in my kitchen cold room
>willy accidentally releases the spider
>find his corpse in north maint toward the end of the round
>unable to drag his corpse to the shuttle because I slip on a FUCING FAGGOT TOMATOS and have to drill my way out of the rnd server room
it was like the perfect escalation of karma

>don't have a lot to do because power's out
>go grab an extra handheld radio to set to the sec channel
>all that autism about vox, willy, and the botanist the entire time
>constant wanting to execute
>willy fucking with them
>hear the botanist get murdered in escape at the end of the round
Got a good giggle out of this round

>>175653606
>try to arrest you ebcause of the FUCKING TOMATO AND NOVAFLOWER
>you run away like a little FAGGOT
LIGHT AND JUSTLY DESERVED PUNISHMENT
>>175653609
I was actively trying to get guns to kill the queen with but I kept seeing that FUCKING WILLY or the VOX POP UP ALL THE TIME
If I ever got ten seconds spare I would have killed it I promise

>order crates
>never arrive
>only the QM on the manifest in cargo
>find the malnourished QM trapped in cargo disposals who lost his ID
>feed him grilled cheese sandwiches
>can't bother anyone who has captain level ID to get him a new one for the rest of the shift

>>175653737
hold up, you asked for a search, with which I complied with, but then you went to arrest me and you whacked me the nova flower. that put me in the red and kept adding heat damage so I would have literally died had I not teleported directly to medical. I didn't harm anyone up to that point either so I don't see why you tried to kill me and coerce the crew into lynching me. just because you suck so much at sec and can't take down a single greytider doesn't mean you have to go around murdering everyone that inconveniences you.

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>>175653976
I can see what you're doing and I'm not gonna fall for it
njot gonna fall for it
FUCK YOU

>>175653737
I hope you don't hold this round against me Ailsa, you're one of my favorite officers. And since I like you so much, I will impart some of my knowledge unto you so that you may more effectively beat greyshits in the future.

try not to follow greyshits in a straight line in case they try to slip you. Be attentive to the greyshit in case they pull anything out and try not to get slipped by a banana or soap. Use flashbangs if you can't close in on a greyshit who's a proficient saxer because otherwise you'll probably never hit them with your taser. Play more defensively where possible, do not underestimate your opponent because they might have slips or a hidden gun, both of which can spell doom for you if you play too offensively without being careful. Try to use cover more in firefights against someone with a taser, especially in places with one tile wide hallways. Get used to sticking in cover and firing a shot then moving back into cover so you don't get wrecked by someone using cover more than you. Also, don't use lethals offensively against someone with a taser in a choke point. Lethals trump tasers against unarmored opponents at a distance where you can dodge taser fire and apply accurate laser fire, but not in close range and confined spaces

>>175653976
>that put me in the red and kept adding heat damage so I would have literally died had I not teleported directly to medical.
Tell me Joey, do you believe in the heart of the Tomatoes?

>>175654061
I know all of these things, it's just the practice that kills me
My hands get shaky and my connection starts slowing every time I fight because fuck you why woudl you need a good connection to fight )))))))))
I just don't see shit in time, I think I might have fucked eyes or something
also, in my defense, my screen was shaking about from the tomatos so my aim was off more than usual

>>175654058
I hope you don't hold this round against me Ailsa, you're just another one of those seasonal officer. And since I like me so much, I will impart some of my knowledge unto you so that you may more effectively beat greenshirts in the future.

basically at the 1 hour 30 minute mark you're dealing with instantaneous screenwide emps at all times, instakill melee weapons, ranged area denial lube and chemical traps, and chemical projectiles that will melt your mask off and put you into a inescepable critbound sleep if even a drop touches your skin. so grab that unempable ballistic cock glock and use it for the only practical use it has. *aim at mouth *pull trigger *ghost

>Lowpop HoS, only sec officer
>Yakkity Saxing like a moron after a vamp
>Screams me with my muffs off
>;DORMS DORMS
>Picks up my lawgiver and tries to shoot me with it
I felt a little better knowing that we were BOTH goobers

VOX TRADERS GO HOME

>>175657068
vox are CUTE

>>175654335
might I suggest shooting some lockers? :^)

>>175639839
There is no rule against playing, but there are rules about posting on 4chan below 18

A family that sleeps together keeps together~
I made myself very clear that I was sleeping most of the round. What did I miss? I think I slept through an Adminbus or something?

Is there any way a vox trader can claim the credits from the ore processor?

>>175644409
Only one of those was finished and kept in, god bless cluster

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>>175657450
No, you have to have a bank account.
You have to get your coin the hard way, you sneaky jew.
Don't break into mining or I'll kill you.

>crew wakes up from cryosleep
>You are the medic
>captain forgets to turn on the shields
>RD is breached, no oxygen
>I'm on the other side and see everyone suffocate
>they try to open the door but I lock it, cant let the rest of the ship go vaccum
>the cadet enters medbay and somehow opens RD
>DONT OPEN IT WAI-
>You feel something is very wrong, death is coming.
>Try to get inside my office but get launched into the wall
>medbay and the scientist are all dead
>captain launches his lifepod but gets hit by suffocation and depressurization
>lifepod ejects with his corpse
>chief engineer asks the remaining alive if he should syphon all the air so the rest of the crew can die peacefully
>witness the cmo crying and whimpering as she sees the room going under lock down and eventually dying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVmJwfj4YYA

Is the server dead? I can't connect.

>>175659594
It's restarting.

>>175659434
Your story has a lot of holes and jumps which leads to your characters being hard to believe and your story coming off as a slapstick comedy than what I assume is your intentional tone is unless you're rewriting some pasta or something?

>>175659687
I'm tired as fuck but that was a great sad ending round.
Captain forgot to turn on the shields to protect us from meteors and research got hit, I had to close the RD doors to medbay or it would depressurize the entire station, after getting basic medicine ready I saw the cadet trying to open the door to RD but warned him too late so we all died in medbay minus the CMO that was eating. Captain launches his lifepod but gets hit with depressurization and dies, ejecting a lifepod with a corpse and the chief engineer tells everyone that there are multiple breaches and no water available, there's only 3 people alive and they all agree to end it peacefully so the CE syphons the entire ship and everyone dies

>>175644918
>or get 5 bombcap bombs in 15 minutes
Six.

>>175657450
HoP can attach a bank account to your card

>>175660925
If he
a) wants to
b) knows how to
c) isn't busy being HoPcurity or the likes

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>>175661550
>>175660925
>giving a shitty trader the same rights as a Nanotrasen crewmember

>>175661550
I don't play HoP often, but I'll give anyone without a bank account one if they need it.

>>175661851
I don't needlessly hate people for inconceivable reasons.

>>175661851
>not noticing that we can steal the birb's credits any time we want

>>175648432
Can we ban Sawbones already?

Everything I read in the thread about him is shitty pull requests, banning people for shitty reasons, and shitty ic powergaming.

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>>175661998
Even if you are too new to realize that a shitty trader breaking into the mining station for his rocks is bad for everyone, through a gameplay perspective, a trader getting all its money from mining is shit.
The point of a trader is that you don't have anything of real value, but you use that to trade and barter for the right things. Mining for 5 minutes of plasma for 10000 credits undermines trading completely.

>>175662250
>Mining for 5 minutes of plasma for 10000 credits undermines trading completely.
really makes you think why are they still trading instead of mining

>>175662250
>breaking into the mining station
They don't do that anymore.
Defficiency traders get their own smelter.
How does that undermine trading if they shouldn't be trading for credits in the first place?

>>175662189
You missed the part where he shitposted so hard in a PORN CHANNEL that he got banned, and then had the nerve to appeal it.

>>175662356
Because they don't have a bank account you dumb shit. A trader CAN mine but most don't because it's ultimately fruitless. They can't keep they money they earn unless the HoP is a dumb sack of shit that trusts greytiders in diving suits, and scientists don't want to barter for diamond when miners are better at mining than traders.
Traders are not miners with a different language.
>>175662450
I watched two birds break into mining yesterday on box using ducking IEDs. And traders have a smelter in deff BUT STILL NO ACCOUNT.

>>175662713
>Because they don't have a bank account
that's not how economy works you dumb shit

>That one vox who only does broken english half the time

>>175662803
>why can't traders claim credits in the pre processor?
>they don't have a bank account
>THAT'S NOT HOW ECONOMY WORKS.
????

wow he misspelled a couple words and added extra prepositions to his sentences
what a genuine roleplayer good boyim

>>175662713
>I watched two birds break into mining yesterday on box using ducking IEDs
Did you ahelp it? Breaching shit is haram if you're not an antagonist.
Besides, that's the minority who still thinks traders are free to do whatever they want and don't know a single thing about the job.

>>175662941
are you implying plasma has no value in the entire universe except if you shove it through one specific machine that only exists in one single space station?
kek

>>175663108
They didn't breach, they broke in. IC issue.

>>175663179
Are you lost? Scroll up on the posts if you missed anything.

>>175663275
>They didn't breach, they broke in.
Then how the fuck were the IEDs involved

>>175663445
Because 90% of these new players are brainless. They used IEDs to blow the windows near suit storage.

>>175663652
How is that not breaching?

>>175663179
>implying we have a working economy
We aren't EVE.
Plasma only has value if you shove it through that machine

How do I git gud at the red tide?

>>175666470
Don't tide,

>>175663956
As much as I don't like talking about Lifeweb because it tend to induce shitflinging, that's one thing I really liked about it; money was very important.
I wish we could've an actual economy.

>>175666470
learn to shoot

>>175666470
brig everyone exactly according to space law mandated times, apply every possible charge you can

>heroinehero tries make himself a meme
>it works
how did he get away with this self-shilling?

>>175653976
>beating someone to almost crit for having tomatoes
Unironically make a ban request, it'll certainly pass.

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>Bird HoP suicide bombing eye

>it's a 'let's summon an eldritch monstrosity by playing with an artifact too much' round

Fucking hate those rounds

>>175668523
>Let's nuke the station to save ourselves

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>max research, atmos and cozy as heck
>get a ghetto SME up before the round restarts

Feels good as heck. Derelict mommi is truly the greatest role.

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>>175653737
>get pranked
>kill pranker
How od secshitters manage to be worse than greys everytime?

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>>175668734
> run into you constantly trying to find vaults
Felt like I was running into the same fucking z-level over and over like some hellish nightmare, jesus christ

>>175668523
>summon an eldritch monstrosity by playing with an artifact too much
what happened?

>>175669137
They summoned an edritch monstrosity by playing with an artefact too much.

>>175669219
That doesn't tell me anything

>>175669291
By recklessly interacting with an alien artefact in a jovial, carefree manner, they activated some ancient machination within the artefact, causing it to materialise some monstrosity from the outer realms into our dimension.

>>175669137
HoP got an all seeing eye, that thing wizards on metaclub get.

They scried, a ghost took over their body while scrying, who was then haunted by the ghost of the HoP.

Detective was blessed by the god of the gun and received a mateba.

A cargo tech bird got culted, started converting people

HoP office steadily looks more and more culty as more people try scrying and get mindswapped

HoP eventually gets back into their own body, declares war on the now whispering all seeing eye.

multiple attempts to blow it up later, cult bird is killed in the HoPs office by the detective, but takes over the scrying clown to talk shit to the detective.

Clown tells the detective of how to use the eye, original clown takes over the detective when the detective tries scrying. Everyone is everyone else and steadily going insane from hallucinations

Eventually everyone's had enough of this eye that's turning the place crazy, they start shooting it to no avail. Eye chats shit at them instead.

After a while, giant floating eyeball-brain thing appears and starts nar-sie'ing it up, to which the HoP tried suicide bombing it, giving the escape shuttle some time to pull away.

>>175668976
For further reference, get a shitload of GPS and space them, then teleport a volunteer slave to whereever they stopped moving

>>175669552
>a ghost took over their body
What the fuck?

>>175668461
>watching someone rack up the charges while constantly screeching DINDU until they suicide
>brig time: 27:03
it's the best feeling

>>175669552
Were admins manually putting people into other bodies? That doesn't seem like a thing that should happen normally.
I also thought you were talking about the seeing stone rather than the stationary scrying eye.

>>175670026
>>175669967
It was a possession artifact, nearby ghosts were dragged to the catatonic bodies

>>175670312
>a possession artifact
What? That's not a thing. I thought you said it was an all-seeing-eye.

>tfw you wake up late after crashing on the bed
>tfw you miss all the fun people and get stuck having to play with validshitters and TG kiddies

>>175668469
explain

>>175669807
I was the trader

What should you do when you meet a spaceman with the same last name?
Act like they're family?
Pretend not to know them?
Kill them?
Incest erp?

>>175671131
>shitposts in ooc about his meme bombing persona
>shitposts in the thread about himself
>it catches on

I really think the game would be better if clowns never existed in it's code.

>>175671706
>Act like they're family
or
>Interrogate them about it until they reveal they are your long lost sibling or find out that they are

>>175671863
>>>>>>/bay/

>>175671972
Just consider this, people post lots of funny greentexts of them non-antag griffing as a clown. People see this and join to griff and be a no rp shitter. This brings in even more griffin no rp shitters.

>>175672072
>>175671972
>>175671863
can we all agree that mimes are cool though.
Except for Sue.

>>175672170
>Except for Sue
You take that back

>>175672170
I want to play more mime desu, but I don't know if I should static name as mime or static outfit or static whatever.

>>175671720
Well to be fair he is pretty dedicated. If you see him in toxins, the round type is irrelevant because it will be over soon.

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>>175671720
Spessmen Persona when?

>>175672218
Mix up the outfits depending on the first few minutes of the round.
Name can be whatever, "Mime" is always a valid name.
>>175672196
>Sue "I didn't know guns could hurt people" Bowchief

>>175644180
with a pick axe though

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WHAT THE FUCK /VG/?

>>175672606
Copy and pasted.`

>>175672606
this is a good copypasta

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=33&p=19608&sid=69547aff691dd222c04d9a21f09cb65b#p19608

MRPAIN HAS DONE IT NOW

>>175672946
Well shit

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Well?

>>175672946
Again?

>>175672946
>The requested topic do not exist
Okay

Green haired Devil, are you here?

>>175673231
>only have to do the bare minimum to get full admin
>kolith never got full admin

Is he so bad, he can't even do the bare minimum?

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>>175669552
best god 2bh

>yfw dragonbro is getting away with it again because Pain is just going to forget to do what he said he was

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https://youtu.be/mg_2t-LKUg0

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>>175674016
>mfw mrpain is the best headmin we've ever had

>>175674012
wrong gun god, dummy

>>175674170
There is no gun god, its all chaos

>>175674219
Summon magic god is better

>>175675351
go away irvine

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>load up a game of colonial
>spend thirty minutes preparing to go planetside
>five minutes after we touch down an alien ambushes me from a vent and breaks my skull
>spend a further twenty minutes going back up to the ships to get healed up

why do I even fucking bother

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>>175675695
>disliking my video and telling me to go away in the thread
>specifically run a game that has the rules DO NOT HOLD METAGRUDGES

>>175675762
"dude it's a roleplay game lmao"

>>175675762
W-want to play a game of CM with me anon...

>>175676179
I wanna play with you, I'll be your engie buddy

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>find chem machine in maint
>check crew manifest
>isaac lifof

>>175676323
You a cute girl?

You're a faggot if you picked the blue pill.

>>175676445
yes

>>175676179
>spoiling
>stuttering

not a fucking chance

>>175675957
>DO NOT HOLD METAGRUDGES
That's only for ingame :^)
but how can I hold a metagrudge if I have never interacted with you

>>175676575
Are you being serious about wanting to play with me? Should I give you my ckey, or you give me yours? Or should we just meetup in game?

Raphaella is my waifu!

>>175676679
i'm going to chloral you and throw you into the supermatter shard

>>175676674
At this point it will only be memes, so we should meet in game. Look for Cynthia, I usually play marine engie or maint tech

>>175676679
Raphaella is the only likeable waifu who plays.
Everyone else is "lol I'm such a bitch but it's okay because I'm playing a girl teehee"

>>175676872
We've actually played before, how weird!

>>175676679
TAshe Mallory is my metagrudge target!

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>build cult base in space
>by the time it's done Isaac's already so thoroughly cucked security that we can do the ritual in the middle of the hallway

>>175676796
>shard
>not crystal
>not destabilizing the crystal and then throwing the body as the final trigger to the apocalypse

Obligatory post about Reica Mallory Brookes and Julia Rivera Prewitt!

>>175677052
who are you

>>175677507
I used to play naomi

>>175677614
Fuck off Solarious

>>175677464
>Mallory Brookes

ASH SURFER?

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>>175677614
qt

>>175677098
>thoroughly cucked security
by the time the base was built one (of one) officers were already dead and he was memeing on the dick, it's not exactly high robustitude

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>>175677947
source?
here is some more sick sci fi art in exchange.

>>175677947
>>175680709
I would be fine with you dumping more of that kinda art

is the server fucked?

>>175681157
It's perfectly fine.

>>175648626
judging from the age of his steam account, I doubt he's younger than 20

>>175682023
I'm 18 and my account is the same age.

>>175682023
Which one?

>One person votes for meta
>We all have to play it

How is this a fair voting system?

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coders will defend this

>>175682774
>one person votes for meta
>he never gets to play it

How is this more fair than the current system?

Remember that you can always "Count on Conrad".

>>175682774
Box would be the only station people play if we just went by the majority. I prefer box too, but the other maps have some neat stuff. Newfags would only vote box because it's the only one they're familiar with.

>>175682023
Sawbones is at least 21, not sure why there's a meme going round he's underage. He's well into his college degree.

How do I get my husbando to notice me
I keep giving him gifts and trying to talk to him but he doesn't get it
Even when I inject my blood into the food I give him he just says he feels sick and runs away
I just want to be loved

There is nothing wrong with playing other maps every once in a while

>>175677098
>cucked security
Made of one sec , me, and one det
4 cultists ambushed me in medbay using a shitty excuse and sacrificed me.
Det was also ambushed and later made into one of those bots that i don't remember the name

>>175685250
>>175685250
Forgot to say, some mechanic hacked into the armory to steal shit, way before cultist were announced

>>175674165
Shut up jew

>>175677947
n-no you are!~~~

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>>175680709

What's your worst story from when you were new to the game?

>>175691069
I actually started playing on a shit roleplay server that died quickly so nobody on /vg/ remembers me as a new player.

I got banned for shuttle crushing the headmin with the research shuttle when he was making atmos autism around the research shuttle dock. (I did not know he was there). I got permabanned from all security because as a detective I got access to investigate the outpost and didn't inform the CE (the headmin) so he banned me.

>[11:18:39]ADMIN: HELP: Heroinehero007/(Horatio): Is this actually malf. Did the AI really just hack one apc in the hallway? Is this life. - heard by 1 non-AFK admins.
"hey admin is it really this gamemode?"

Why are so many ahelps complete shit and unnecessary

>>175691069
I just played for the first time today and I walked out of a fucking airlock into space and got saved by some fuckin cricket man that pushed me back in like some Event Horizon shit

>>175691069
I was mime and this guy kept hugging me so i bottled him over the head, stabbed him to death, and dumped him in the trash.

Is Grimlock freakinabonk's boyfriend?

>be clown
>do clown things
>find coin, get glubs
>bolt down the IAA office and tell everyone to not go in there pretending I hid something
>at some point the HoP in pajamas offers me all access, take it
>at one point the captain sees me offhandedly walk into the bridge
>rather than stun me and take the id, he beats me into crit with the chain of command
>after getting healed, decide to obtain vengeance by beating him into crit
>grab a toolbox, hack my way into the bridge where he is afk
>decide to be nice (never do this) and just cuff and demote him instead
>he comes back on, but slips and I cuff him
>strip him, go to make an announcement that the captain has been demoted
>the borg, who at some point was put on paladin, decides my show of mercy is evil and stuns me, releases the captain and cuffs me
>drags me all the way down to escape for some reason but then takes me back and buckles me into a chair
>captain says he thinks I'm guilty of mutiny and grand theft
>tell him he's guilty of abuse of power and assault
>he decides he can declare me an enemy of the corporation (literally says this) and beats me to death with the chain of command and hides my body in his locker
>when the HoP walks into the brig he kills the HoP too
>when the AI locks him down for killing a human he decides the AI is rogue, and then someone changes the AI to NT default
I love VG.

>>175691583
I was observing that round and curious.

I usually get meme pm'd by the admins instead of the other way around.

>>175691998
Watching you slip on your own pda right by the afk captain had me literally crying tears of laughter. Best clowning.

>>175692141
I-I left that part out for a reason.

>>175691069
I used an emoticon in chat.

>>175691998
I was told by the AI that imprisonment is evil, so I released the Captain. Then he cablecuffed you, so I ran away with you as the Captain gave chase to free you.
Then I was set back to Asimov as I was about to free you.

>>175691069
Walked out an airlock.
Didn't find my Workplace/Medbay.
OOC in ICK

>>175692185
at least three of us were watching you in dead chat.

WEW LADs' intensified

>>175691831
literally who

>>175691069
Some shady man saved me from meteors by leading me into another department through maintenance. Where I proceeded to get disarm spammed and I was afraid that they were attacking me.
And I just so happened to have a knife that I was using to cut myself because I learned that I was allowed to harm myself without permission.
I did not know what an adminpm was.perma'd

>>175692592
>And I just so happened to have a knife that I was using to cut myself because I learned that I was allowed to harm myself without permission

I'm having difficulty understanding your motives

>>175691998
You forgot the part where you failed to slip him while he was afk and thus slipping yourself while everyone laughed.

>>175692774
Learning how damage worked.
What it takes to chop off a limb. Et cetera.

>>175692818
>>175692185
!!!

>>175692774
He got spooked when they started disarming him and he thought they would attack him, leading him to attack them.

>>175692863
Because he fights for his friends.

>>175692920
That's what I assume at least. I can't think of any other reason I'd do that.

>Amari gets murdered
>He's so annoying and even the admins dislike "Head of Memes" enough that he gets perma'd over it
I am neutral about this development.

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>>175691069
As warden, left a poor greytide cuffed in maint during radstorm not really knowing that they could be lethal (on deff where parts of maint are not shielded). He died and was not given treatment for like 15 minutes, just Dumped him outside the front. It was a grand show of shitcurity, I got a note for it and the guy probably still hates my guts to this day.

>>175693719
nooooooooooo I liked him

>>175693719
Thank god, the sheer autism from that dingus was astounding.

>server is a slideshow early one morning
>tells the admin online to let it play out so he can get his greentext in a 5 player round instead of just restarting it

>>175693654
Amari is fucking great
>be warden
>see manifest
>IT'S AMARI RAY
>watch engineering
>he fucking sets up singuloth and gets sucked into it right after
>anoter round
>someone flooded engineering with plasma
>Amari starts welding doors in the middle of plasma leak
>yet another round
>he gets drunk and literally walks into singulo

>>175693985
So he's the one that releases singulo all the time?

>>175691998
Well, looks like Amari got banned over this.
Should I bother taking this to the forums? I can almost understand him beating me to death for cuffing him, but is beating someone into crit and breaking bones for being given all access reasonable? I saw in the ahelps he just said he "confiscated" my id.

>>175694070
no, he just walks into emitters and gets fucked by contaiment field

>>175694071
I will miss amari's shittery but the captain was pretty comdom from everything I saw.

>>175694071
It doesn't hurt to try.

>>175693719
>getting yourself banned
neat

>>175693654
I am also neutral about him, though yeah he is kind of stupid with his meme shit and his ckey especially, he does have some funny hyjinks here and there.

>>175693719
And nothing of value was lost.
Next in line should be Amari

Idea: Make it so traitors get new objectives every time they finish an objective, and give them 1 TC each time.

>>175695209
>traitor recalls for 6 hours and keeps finishing objectives to buy one of every traitor item

>>175695209
Idea: antag datums

>>175695815
this, I have so much ideas, but coding an entire new gametype and then having it probably not be merged because

>WE'RE MAKING ANTAG DATUMS
>NO REALLY WE ARE!

>>175691069
>Be miner
>get a ripley
>oh no! station is bombed! time to evacuate.
>better get my ripley!
>can't figure out how to force open flashing firelocks because I have my drill equipped
>drill directly through medbay instead causing people to shoot out of it do to spacewind
>BWOINK
>"stop kool-aid manning through walls with your big yellow robot, it's fucking people up with space wind"

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>>175691069
first time making a SME, another engineer came to 'help' me

we both passed out from radiation then it delaminated

Is Zas an allowable term to use IC as a slang for space wind?

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>>175697356
yes, that is the name of the system, space wind is just a meme name

>>175697356
Fuck no

>>175691069
I was getting killed by vox raiders and I said '>minimize casualties' IC

>>175697521
Even if you gave it an in-universe meaning like "Zero Atmosphere Syndrome/Shenanigans"?

>>175697356
No, because it's an abbreviation of something that clearly references OOC.

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>>175682923
> box = 1d20
> deff = 1d6
> meta = 1d4
Highest roll wins.

>>175691069
Got culted.
Fucked around, didn't do anything aside from follow the cult leaders around like a wussy. Ended up being the last surviving member of the cult.
Ended up trying to convert the first person I saw after 15 minutes of reading the wiki.
accidentally let her get up from the stun and run off into maint, then outrobust me with a shower and then deadchat laughed at me with LOOC

>>175697356
Yes, IC it stands for zany atmospheric shenanigans. People have used it IC for a long time and it's fine.

Is there a board where we can look at bans? I feel like I remember there was one.

>>175699876
http://ss13.moe/index.php/bans

>>175699876
You mean on 4chan? There's an example list under 4chan.org/bans but it doesn't show all of them. Just a few and it updates every now and then.
For vg spess, at ss13.moe is the ban page.

should I bother making a webm of the scene from Passengers where they force open an airlock, get ZAS'd and have to fix a breach?

>>175699940
>http://ss13.moe/index.php/bans
thanks friend

>>175699741
No it doesn't. That doesn't make much sense.

[14:17:56]ADMIN: HELP: Reeeeimstupid/(Bomberman #97): RESTART SERBER - heard by 2 non-AFK admins.
[14:18:29]ADMIN: kuranon has banned reeeeimstupid.
Reason: Posted WGW over announcements after being demoted and tried to place the blame on the captain. Then ran into the bridge and began shooting at the captain and stealing his things while he was cuffed. Eventually was killed for being a huge shit then ahelped saying he was killed just for hanging out in the bridge and conveniently omitted all the earlier bits of info. You have a ton of notes and bans so after talking to another admin I decided to drop this perma
This is a permanent ban.
heh

>>175701154
Stop being autistic

sorry botanist, the AI was hinting that he thought you were a changeling

>>175701185
I got tired of him greytiding as a non civilian role

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is anyone out there guys? please help me its cold oh god...

>>175701221
I was hinting that I thought he had killed Frank McRib and was wearing all his gear, not that he was a ling.

>>175701217
You're the one being autistic.

>>175701154
I have been saying ZAS IC for over a year. It's also a diety for the chaplain. Shut the fuck up.

>hey guys, this guy with an ewsord and magboots is busting up the place, how should we stop him?
>let's make the floor slippery and slip all the people trying to stop him!

>>175701336
ock ick

>>175701481
that's not ooc ick, we're in between rounds right now

>>175701481
It's not, you retard.

A reminder that good janitors upgrade the lights, and don't use gay mops.

>>175701590
advanced mops when

>>175701406
But magboots don't stop slips. Or did they change that.

Reminder a great janitor uses the mop bucket and mop at ALL TIMES

>>175701780
They don't stop space lube, they stop cleaner grenade slips though

>>175701643
We already have soap and janicarts, and space cleaner along with holy water if you really want to mop.
>>175701840
Ah my bad. Sorry for fucking everyone over because I forgot that mechanic.

>>175701986
Mops are fun though.

>>175701823
You damn mop faggots, when will you learn that mops are only for filthy traitors!

Mop buckets are for nerds, real men store their water in the pussy wagon to use with mops.

>>175702337
you're right, the only real way to play janny is to ride the pussy wagon around and use the mop at the same time.

>>175702337
>>175702602
>>>>water
I'm going to let you in on a big, big secret. I'm nearly ensuring that PBJ will start trying to nerf this just because I'm posting it here.
Ready?
The mop will clean up messes as long as it's filled with any chemical, including silicate and space cola. You can also fill up the mop bucket or the pussy wagon with any chemical.