/ss13g/ - Spessmen on a Spess station

Penis.

Two generals
Both shit

File: vgstation-logo.gif (58KB, 150x150px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 150x150px

contribute to the wiki

>>169507827
Deadmin zealotron yesterday

Name some good HoPs

>>169508146
Slippy Joe MD

>>169507827
I understand the first post, but what's the significance of the second?

File: dotpict_20160823_171731.png (3KB, 128x128px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 128x128px

i know this pretty rave girl, always think about her
and when she says hi to me butterflies go right through me

>>169508453
How do you hear her say hi at a rave?
You at babbys first EDM festival or something?

>>169508453
>>169508525
????

>>169508363
Logs of Zealot accidentally copy+pasting his shitpost into an ahelp conversation.

File: dotpict_20160816_221557.png (3KB, 128x128px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 128x128px

and when i see her dancing i wanna take a chance and
get in a little closer and maybe get to know her

File: 1475197547550.webm (89KB, 322x232px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 322x232px

>>169508897
RAVE GIRL

did it died

ded?

What did he mean by this?

removed

>>169509141
I honestly like the new Bay signs more than any of the other ones.
I make it a point to use one of them whenever I bartend.
which is never since i rarely ever get to bartend the actual bar
bar signs being craftable when?

serb?

DED?

ded serb?

I wish quartermasters were actually supervising from their office instead of being cargo techs with sunglasses.

F E A T U R E S

i really wanted to see that cannon battle, too

>>169509293
ded

Awwww. Finally infest someone useful to catch that restraining asshole, and serb dies.

File: ss13_server funeral.png (2MB, 1536x1024px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1536x1024px

RIP Serb

Do we have a discord?

TIL a single scrubber can cuck the crew

>having a great time teaching a cadet about sec
>ded

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE ONE TIME SEC BRINGS ME HAPPINESS

>ded
I hadn't even finished redoing the floors with wood fug.

Fuuuuuuuuck. I found another artifact and a few alien guns and I didn't get to properly test them at all REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Retrieve body from morgue to cook
>Check backpack before butchering
>The only thing in his bag is 5 full pizzas

>>169509357
I wish Quartermasters were Head of Service.

My name is Not Important.
What's important is what I'm going to do.

>>169509357
Try bay, whenever I spectate them I just see a billion assistants with special snowflake job titles doing whatever and everyone else is just sitting in an office at a console.

>>169509456
we have a metaclub

>>169509503
Service head should be the Chef. It's French for "Chief".

I was this close to ahelping Rin for sexualizing the prisoner

why serb why why you gotta die the leather business was just startin

>>169509597
I was this close to enforcing a grooming standard upon the station and forcing all the waifus to dye their hippie hair colors

THIS CLOSE

Its for the best, the antag died early and the rest of the round was just a clusterfuck

holy shit the server has been in a bad way recently between lag and crashes
inb4
>Beyond

>>169509357
I wish chefs were actually cooking food instead of putting deep fried grilled gum ball icecream cones on the counter

I wish doctors would actually sit down with me in an examination room and ask me where it hurts instead of tapping me with an analyzer and dragging me to the fridge to force feed me magic pills

>>169509357
>Dont do cargo myself
>Watch as techs send all the crates to botany
>Explain to them how the chutes work
>They send all the crates to medbay instead

>play friends with clown the whole crew
>politely ask him to step down the radio array
>dont charge him for it
>go along with his slippings
>he gives me all his clown gear and an all access ID and tells me to carry the mantle before walking out an airlock
>try to mess with the shoes
>HONK
>deaf for 3 minutes
>mfw

always pays to be friends with the clown

>>169509804
>I wish doctors would actually sit down with me in an examination room and ask me where it hurts instead of tapping me with an analyzer and dragging me to the fridge to force feed me magic pills
Back to bay faggot

>>169509804
1. Get a bioprinter
2. Deepfry organs
Job's done, man, Job's done

I was brooke burns, Bartender vamp. I joined a UFC fighting league and was beheaded for using my vamp powers. Later, the assistant I fought stitched me together out of honor, I then accomplished ALL of my objectives as a monkeyperson, then the server crashed, maybe because I set the AME to blow. My greentext wouldve been so glorious, especially since everyone thought I was dead.

>>169509851
jokes on you i was being ironically :^)

>janitor bot killing the label for the vox room in the bar
>a single scrubber in the vox room entrance cucks the entire bar when it turns the airlock into a vacuum chamber
Wew. Thanks for the pointers other MoMMI guy.

File: Untitled.png (2KB, 536x20px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 536x20px

>>169509932
good round

>>169509932
>Tell Security I put your head in the cake.
>They incinerate the cake.

>>169510062
One day I'm making a giant ZAS machine by that principle

>>169509804
Sometimes I just go to the chemist and tell him what I need or even pay him.
Speaking of, overhaul of current economy system when? I want to pay for healthcare and ghetto services being a thing.

>>169510242
>weird fat shirtless probably thrall man tells me there is a head in the cake
>cut all the slices out
>legit thought it was a glitch and the cake absorbed the head

that was odd

>medborgs are great they said
>can't even give pills to people, have to throw every single pill on the ground and hope someone feeds it to the patient instead
>no anti-tox, have to fill the beaker with it
>only one beaker
>can't put people to sleep for surgery without chloral
>can't clean surgery
>not even a light to find dead people in the dark or anything
>can only administer triweak, spaceuseless and inapritstoolate, and with upgrades, only doctor's delight and dex+, as if dex+ was ever useful for anything
>no kelotane or bicardine let alone keloderm and shit
>no dispensable dylovene
can't open morgue trays (not tested, maybe it's a special case like cryo?)
>revival prod doesn't even put people out of sleep, let alone revive anything
>need an upgrade for fucking defib
>not even a needlegun
Not even pathetic is as pathetic as this.

>>169509778
I blame the coders
Peer review, whats that? :^)

>>169510316
It's a communist space station, there's no economy.

teaching a cadet was nice and fun and made me feel less jaded for once

hope i was helpful

>>169510407
>dex+
>not useful

>>169510413
Do they legit not do reviews on PR? Just feature votes?

Imagine being so widely regarded as a fuckup by everyone in the community and still being admin after all this time

>>169509847
i tried this once but it was more like

>clown asks me for help so i help him
>we hang out for a bit doing stupid crap
>he has me follow him into the maint tunnel for a ''surprise''
>he was a ling

never again

>naked man was playing music completely naked in the sec lobby the entire time
>sec didn't attempt to arrest him or even tell him to put clothes on or anything
?

>>169510584
It's not. Either someone is taking oxy damage because they're in crit or in a low-oxygen room, or they don't take oxy damage. And in the former case you just have to bring them out of crit and outside oxygen-free rooms and they'll heal on their own.

>>169510671

i dont think space law prohibits nudity so what exactly did he do wrong

How was engineering that round?

>ai checks pda messages
>it's rin and emilia erping, as usual
>n-no that never happens p-please don't report us t. waifus

>>169510613
It's really a simple "does probe like this?" system

>>169510906
Show proof with logs or get the fuck out

>>169510860
kinda confused on why half your machinery was in cargo but otherwise fine

>>169510843
this.
>once arrested a bunch of assistants for indecent exposure and got a bwoink because they whined about it.

>>169510843
I've been arrested for it before, they usually say some shit about indecency and not having proper identification.

>>169510665
>parameding
>gas mask assistant says someone is hurt in maint
>know somethings up but follow anyway
>culted
If you avoid traps like that the round is less interesting for both of you.

>>169511156
ahelp it. if the admin is any good they'll take your side.
what kind of world gives an okay to cooking and eating a mans crotch but freaks out when you look at it

>>169511005
>[10:26:05]PDA: Rin Fukuimoto (PDA: PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)) sent "well, you heard what he said~ " to PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)
>[10:26:29]PDA: Emilia Davidson (PDA: PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)) sent "Hmm~?" to PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)
>[10:26:43]PDA: Rin Fukuimoto (PDA: PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)) sent ""Special Consideration Given to those that have skills acting as a vampire previously!"" to PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)
>[10:27:01]PDA: Emilia Davidson (PDA: PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)) sent "Shhhh...." to PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)
>[10:29:34]PDA: Emilia Davidson (PDA: PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)) sent "You are one to talk~" to PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)
>[10:29:40]PDA: Rin Fukuimoto (PDA: PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)) sent "shh" to PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)

not really ERP but kinda cringey

>>169510671
he seems pretty chill, I'd imagine that sec gives him some slack for that

File: 1454736365761.png (44KB, 916x599px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 916x599px

>>169510906

>>169510671
>naked man takes things from vault including a gun
>let him go with no charge

he is a cool guy, what can i say

>>169511543
jesus

>>169508525
the babby is you if you aren't familiar with pretty rave girl

>>169511389
i dunno i think its fun to say NO to evilness sometimes
i remember one time a medic knocked me out and took me to surgery and put a bomb in my chest. he said dont tell anyone or he'll blow me up. so i beat him to death with the circle saw since he was dumb enough to tell me this when still in surgery
figured if he blows me up when im next to him its not gonna go well for him. or if its such a small explosive he can just det me without an issue it'll be a learning experience
he didnt det me though he just died.

>>169511687
>tfw hands up will never be a thing again
I love that rob mayth is still going but damn, even happy hardcore artists are dying out.

>>169511574
No, it's because of his ties to Nanotrasen. Security bows to the naked man. He was the one who made the call that saved the station.

>>169511543
>>169511612
>>169511641
That wouldn't be bad if it was once or twice. Shit happens every single fucking shift among the same people all the fucking time, and usually culminates in special treatment.

FACTUAL BORG TIER LIST

>Engiborg
>Janitor borg
>Peace keeper
>Budget miner
>The one that makes cigars
>Medic
>Combat
>LMAO STANDARD

This is factual whether they good or bad

>>169511725
That may have been the right thing to do considering he left you with the tools, but I'm sure it would have at least been a bit more fun trying to explain to security about the bomb without saying the word 'bomb'

>>169511543
The shit Rin and Emilia were saying out loud was creepy as fuck too

>>169512179
l o g s

>>169508453
>>169508897
https://youtu.be/HtRZFGUJnOA
remember to maintain a healthy degree of separation from the game.
go outside, bathe.

>>169512179
I ain't digging through them

Nah. You forgot the real top tier: pre-select. Also LMAO STANDARD is actually better than anything below engi.

>>169510407
>no anti-tox, have to fill the beaker with it
What else are you going to use the beamer for?Just fill it with anti tox or use charcoal in your hypospray. Honestly just inject them with 50u of DD.

>can't put people to sleep for surgery without chloral
Just tell them to go to sleep like every doctor does or use the sleeper and inject sophoric.

>not even a light to find dead people in the dark or anything
This has to be bait, you have a flashlight.

>can only administer triweak, spaceuseless and inapritstoolate, and with upgrades, only doctor's delight and dex+, as if dex+ was ever useful for anything
More bait, Inject 50u of DD.
>dexp useless

>no kelotane or bicardine let alone keloderm and shit
Sleepers have unlimited of these or just inject 50u of DD like always and use the trauma kits for bad spots.

>revival prod doesn't even put people out of sleep, let alone revive anything
Neither does shaking, just use a sleeper or the microwave.

This post has to be bait or you don't even play medbay. Not to mention if someone grinds the plasma for you that mediborgs are vastly superior doing chemistry.

>>169511917
i disagree. i would rank them as such:

>Engiborg
>Mediborg
>Standard borg
>Combat
>Peacekeeper
>Miner
>Janiborg
>the one that makes ashtrays

the reason the standard borg is good is because it has a little bit of everything and is ALWAYS useful. if you need to stun some harmful fuck with sunglasses, if you want to soap some blood up with an autoclicker, if you want to extinguish a fire, if you want to patch up someone who got ZAS'd, if you want to have the MOST RADICAL WEAPON when emagged, then standard borg is the way to go.

the medborg is better than the standard borg simply because it can fix up a human in so many different ways and it gets polyacid, and the engiborg is the king because it's the engi fucking borg

>>169512179
>[10:43:39]WHISPER: PootisManiac/(Rin Fukuimoto) (Interrogation Room - 217,293,1): guess you have to be punished~
>[10:43:49]WHISPER: RFultra/(Emilia Davidson) (Interrogation Room - 217,292,1): Noo~

>[10:47:04]SAY: Rin Fukuimoto/PootisManiac (@216,284,1) As Galactic Common : But, since you are cute, i'll give you 10 minutes and a warning..
>[10:47:14]EMOTE: Emilia Davidson/RFultra (@216,285,1): <B>Emilia Davidson</B> Blushes
>[10:47:26]SAY: Emilia Davidson/RFultra (@218,284,1) As Galactic Common : Jeez... isn't that risking your job...

Rin seems to be like this towards all "waifus" and Emilia and Avada go along with it. It's really quite creepy, pretty sure people have been banned for similar "disturbing sexual/erotic behaviour" before.

>>169512642
>so retarded he doesn't know that you need upgrades for half this shit and the other half of the solutions are literally made up
lol

File: 1487814638594.jpg (83KB, 640x438px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 640x438px

>>169510316
>when you work for the same corporate entity in the same facility and receive the same wages but your coworkers still demand that you pay them to cooperate with you during the workday and the parent company actively encourages this in spite of it's negative effect on productivity and the employee mortality rate

>>169512898
>try to convince someone to get a corgi with ian to have them make babies
>get banned for ERP
>waifus are free to do whatever they want and ahelping results in ban for banbaiting

>>169512919
>upgrade is literally the cheapest thing you can request immediately
Got any more bait?

>>169510413
You removed cluster and put probe in charge of merging.

Are you happy now?

>>169513051
this is only part of it, got too creeped out as I kept reading.
They have whole conversations IC that just end in a ~ key every time.

>>169513107
>I have never played this game: the post

>>169513553
You can do better, I believe in you.

>>169512920
Nobody paid each other before we got wages anyway

>>169512390
why you gotta ruin a good song with this video

File: 1403668572446.png (72KB, 157x257px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 157x257px

>>169513938
>good song

>>169514369
>not liking a bit of dj s3rl
bet you never raved blud

File: 1459375201543.png (213KB, 388x351px) Image search: [Google]

213KB, 388x351px

>>169513938
>ruin

so something happened with my byond and now it wont open games on anything fuck me

>>169512898
What the fuck
Ban when?

>>169515336
Don't question it.

You're free now.

>>169515370
report it to the admins and make a case. I'm just posting it here.

>>169512898
awful, b a n

File: 1488066187851.jpg (57KB, 329x301px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 329x301px

>>169511543
>>169511612
>>169512898
This is beyond awfull.

This is fucking disgusting.

>>169512898
hot

>>169515518
Lacy was banned for ERP but got it appealed, I expect some action on the others.

File: 1481390086610.gif (1MB, 300x162px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 300x162px

>>169512898
>>169511543
Fuck, I don't think even Ashe and Felicity were this bad.

>>169515470
!DON'T DO THIS IT'S A TRAP!

File: 1359223824650.png (195KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

195KB, 500x333px

Have some fucking self respect holy shit.
It's called Craigslist. It's not expensive.

File: 1421445565480.png (417KB, 587x386px) Image search: [Google]

417KB, 587x386px

>using tildes in character

>>169515336
>>169515381
But i dont wanna be free i wanna spess

>>169515336
>fuck me
okay
meet me in dorms in 20 minutes.

>those shitty gas tanks got merged
I thought most people were against this.

>>169516127
oh thats why they ugly now

>>169512898
It's their whole fucking metaclub, Rin Surfer Avada and Emilia, gaymen whores

>>169515951
>he doesn't use tildes at every possible chance
You're such a loser anon~

>>169516369
Well unless enough people inform the admins that they don't think this behaviour should be allowed then nothing is gonna happen.
The thread is just shitposting after all, the only people who take it seriously are Probe and MrFoster, and who really cares about either?

>>169516105
I can't meet you in dorms the game wont work anymore wont open any byond games. It seems the gods of the multiverse have released me from byond... i... i'm free FREE AT LAST

130th for more Red Dwarf references!

>>169516653
TALKIE TOASTER WHEN

>>169516653
one off sorry

welp seems the gods pulled me back in I got it to work we really are here forever

>>169516502
it's not like the admins are constantly reminded of that in every single venue or anything. No siree.

>>169515767
this level of cancer almost makes me miss them.

>>169516967
"if it's not a problem, why fix it?"
If you don't report these things properly and make it know they don't care. They do it for free, after all, and most of them barely even clock in.

>>169516785
>by a second
I feel ashamed.

File: 468.jpg (6KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 480x360px

>>169516653
So what is it?

>>169517153
I've never seen one before, no one has. But I'm guessing it's a white hole.

>>169517345
A white hole?

>>169517108
>j-just ahelp it
>o-oh you did?
>j-just make a forum request
>o-oh you did?
>y-you didn't do it properly!!1

>>169512898
BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN

>>169517468
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_hole

>>169517345
oh someone punch him out.

>>169517558
>not following up on the skit
Fuck you anon

>>169517468
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole sucks time and matter out of the universe, a white hole returns it.

>>169516502
Avada is in a different league than Rin and Emilia, and I've never seen Surfer do anything lewd.

>You are the Chef!
>plant usual shit, ghosts are rowdy with the lights
>mice start appearing
>more fucking mice
>they eat fucking everything
>HoP shooting lasers into the kitchen
>assistants, sec and Salem in the kitchen mauling mousekind
>giant rat, King Rat and more
>CentComm sends Garfield
>we deep fry Garfield
>I look in the backroom for eggs
>A FUCKING MOUSE ATE ALL THE FUCKING EGGS
And then the bombings happened.
God bless you Rodger, you were a great help

>>169517626
i was fishing for that :^)

>>169517632
So that thing's spewing time back into the universe?

File: 1386431820275.jpg (36KB, 500x449px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 500x449px

>sec doing everything they can to make the round as boring as possible
>memes still find a way

>this shift starts
>literally 30 seconds in
>emilia and rin ERP starts like clockwork

File: Canada.jpg (218KB, 2346x1885px) Image search: [Google]

218KB, 2346x1885px

https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13/pull/14208

>>169517816
Make a ban request, virgin.

>one guy says "fuck with chef"
>all that happens

I left after being a giant rat, what else happened?

>>169517767
Precisely. That's why we're experiencing these curious time phenomena on-board.

>>169517865
So what is it?

>>169517852
>>169517498

>>169517667
Surfer doesn't do lewd things because that is gay ---------surfer

>>169517962
Link to ban request.

>tfw made a character that I like playing
>other people like interacting with the character
>admins like the character too
>they do a bunch of fun busses with the character nearly every round I play with him
>people expect every game that the character is in to be really fun and wacky
>stop playing the character because I can't think of a new gimmick and meet expectations every round

>>169517863
Bridge, medbay, escape, shuttle all got obliterated by plasma bombs apparently.

>Get AI
>Get subverted by Dee
>Security knows the instant she walks into the upload
>She gets caught immediately after uploading one human
>Borg who I thought was slaved to me was for some reason unslaved to me and ignored my orders
>I close the upload and focus my task at helping Dee get out
>Captain is trying to reason with me but it wont fly
>Watch Rin handling my one human
>About to put her into perma
>Shock the door in front of her and help my human escape
>Rin is screeching bloody murder over comms for the next 15 minutes while the captain is desperately trying to get me out
>Shock Rin a second time and let my human run away again
>My human gets away but it is hard to work without an ID and eventually get caught again
>Finally the manage to reset me and all is good
>Bombs blow up and I got completely blind
>Slowly dying
>Rin is still screeching about me killing people while I was literally blind the entire time
>Die

Shocking Rin twice and having her screech about it over comms for so long felt so fucking good, not gonna lie.

>>169517992
I want Surfer to chastise me for being too lewd.

>>169517863
garfield was called in to deal with the mice
the chef kills and deep fries garfield
odie and Jon come to the station
was distraught about the fate of their cat
went to go talk to the chef
>they both died from bombs.

>>169518030
forrest gump??
>>169518106
quit being a gay faggot, people here a dudes with nasty penises even if they have a female avatar

>>169518030
CHUG?!!
It's okay man. Be glad it happened, don't ever feel pressured to do it more.
I stopped playing Trader because I ran out of ideas. Maybe give it some time until you get back into the spirits and there's less expectation.

sorry for toxinstended, I haven't rolled toxins antag for a long time and

>>169517769
>Join as sec officer
>See Yew Sless as HoP, AFKing with the HoP slot
>Decide to do what I did for my old gran and wheel him around
>Take up the HoP job while Yew vegitates next to the console
>Frank Bickerson walks up, asks for cargo tech access
>Give it him
>'Frank just put a bomb down disposals'
>'Oh god, bridge is gone'
>Almost die when the captain walks into the HoP office and just stands there, not closing the damn firelocks
>Radstorm to boot, nobody can be bothered to save me and the old HoP as there's no crowbars in the HoP office (In hindsight, should've given myself cap access so I could just override the firelocks myself)
>Die in a puddle of my own vomit trying to give the HoP CPR as the shuttle explodes

I threw the balance of the round off entirely by just giving one guy access. Don't do HoP duty, kids.

>>169518267
I mean, it wasn't really extended because there was the whole AI subversion shit running while you were preparing.

>bored miner
>find a grey
>"hey, want to see something cool?"
>plan to show him around the mining asteroid, good light-hearted fun
>he freaks out when he sees the bloody mining ship (someone got accidentally gibbed as usual)
>doesn't give me time to explain, runs all over cargo yelling
>someone else beats him within an inch of his life and stuffs him in a locker
>"ok, lets take him to medbay"
>station gets bombed
>by the time we reach medbay he has no pulse

never adopting a grey again

File: 1481597873511.jpg (36KB, 657x527px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 657x527px

>>169518315
I only meant to do my Yew Sless gimmick once, I forgot to turn it off.

>>169518315
>give access to someone because you don't want to be a dick
>DUDE BOMBS ERRYWHERE LMAO
Reminder to not be open minded, kids.

>>169518232
How nasty are we talkin?

>>169518232
no, im forrest gump, i stopped because people told me to leave it as it was getting old

>>169518072
Borg was slaved to you but was retarded and should have been ahelp'd up.

>>169518315
I was going to use cargo tech access to mail the bombs to various departments
cargo was too crowded though, so I just went around and placed them manually

White hole event when?
>throws the entire station back anywhere between 5-120 seconds, in random periods over its duration

>>169518623
>adminbus crashing the server

>>169518623
I woulda thought it would just be a singularity that throws garbage at you. Though, it could simulate the time fuckery by reading what is said around it (maybe entire station) and making people say it again randomly. That might be fun.

random chance for PA to spawn a white hole instead

>>169518072
>join late, as captain, what could possibly go wrong?
>captain can I perma this guy?
>sure, I have no idea what has happened so far so your call
>AI goes a shade of red, have to ask an engineer in to do tool things
>captain the perma prisoner got free
>literally walks into me in cuffs, just hit pull to keep em still
>HoS turns up, asks to execute them
>execute the one human in front of the AI, yeah nah
>tell them to hold on to them until the AI is sorted
>HoS wanders off
>captain I walked into a shocked door and they got away again
>have to drag the upload into cargo to avoid turret and APC shenanigans
>CAPTAIN SOMEONES GOT AN UPLOAD IN CARGO CAN I EXECUTE THEM
>finally fix the AI
>bombed
>go to medbay to get healed
>bombed
>limp to the shuttle
>bombed
Back to assistant for me.

>>169518030
it's fine chug, i think the time you played you did great, i know i had good interractions with you. can't blame you for getting a bit tired of it though

>>169518232
Not quite.

>>169518260
Yep! I'm surprised people remembered that he existed. It was fun, he may come back some day.

>>169519506
I only had one round with you, in your ultra-speed wheelchair. I was the diona on your head.
I think whatever makes you happy in spess is good. Right now it's playing chef and making people happy, but sometimes it's also to fuck with people or challenge their habits on a randomname.
Just keep looking for what holds life in the game, man, and I hope to see you again on whatever character or gimmick you want.

>>169515951
Only when I'm in glee to send some fat, throbbing Properly formatted paperwork to Nanotrasen Central Command because the mods on at the times I do so are genuinely pretty fun and will most likely end in shenanigans

>tfw making people do paperwork if they want anything from me

It's a good feeling whenever you hand someone a form to fill out and they start swearing at you or just outright leave. It's fun knowing that simple things like that and constant emoting make people mad.

>>169520425
I love when people do this too because it gives me a reason to fuck with them and destroy everything they own

>>169520425
it's hard to tell what paperwork is "intended" for use.
for example: the bartender and chef have cashiers. are they supposed to charge people for their service or for custom orders? it's not mentioned on their respective job pages.

DIONA POWER RANKING

>diona nymph on head
>hyperzine keloderm diona
>free diona nymph
>diona nymph in backpack
>diona nymph in hands
>diona plant
>diona seeds

>>169520593
Cash registers just the remnant of a poorly thought out Nexis project.

>>169520884
Fuck off bad mouthing Nexis he does a lot of shit for this server and you're a retard if you hate him

reminder that if you're not a traitor and force people to go through paperwork to use your services, you're literally banvalid

>>169520814
diona nymph rape whistle (in backpack with radio) should be higher

File: 1486525047607.png (19KB, 500x590px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 500x590px

>>169520814
>not having a bag full of dionas with bags of holding with backpacks in each slot with boxes in each slot for the ultimate inventory auto-management

>>169521004
what rule does it violate?

File: 1470809423409.jpg (27KB, 510x498px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 510x498px

>>169520980

>>169521186
What are some good movies to drink water to?

>>169521216
Waterworld (1995)

>>169521216
Rango (2011)

>>169521172
rule 0

>>169520489
>wrecking a player's round just because they did something you didn't like
People have been banned for that my man. Stop acting like a nigger.

>>169521345
I thought rule 0 was for those rare cases like Validsalad.

>>169521216
The Tuxedo (2002)

>>169521390
Tell me what departments you usually do it in so I can plan something extra spicy for when I run into you

>all this sudden Nexis hate in the thread
wtf gives guys?

>>169521345
>roleplaying your job properly is being a dick

laffing

Would it be possible to put a diona wearing a bag of holding into a bag of holding?

How about putting a diona in a bag, putting the bag on another nymph then putting that nymph in your bag?

>>169521531
are you having a giggle? it was mentioned once and it wasn't even hate, it was just stating the facts.

>>169521531
Since when do we not hate coders?

>>169509597
[12:47:48]SAY: Rin Fukuimoto/PootisManiac (@243,299,1) As Galactic Common : get the ass

>>169517827
Maple syrup in cryo new meta.

File: TOUGHEST.png (17KB, 593x587px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 593x587px

>>169511612
REMINDER

>>169522825
Christ, that guy was a massive faggot.

>>169522825
>dizor will draw more dumb bird waifu but no more mature bird non-waifu
truly life is a tragedy

>>169523074
you could learn to draw
It's not like dizor has ever set a high standard, you could easily produce work like his or better with practice

>>169523379
i'd rather writefag because it's what i'm good at
too bad the last time i did it i got zero response for a couple hours' effort, nobody likes writefags

>>169509597
Just write a ban request you mong.
They'd be banned and everyone knows it.

>>169523506
it's because you can look at a picture fast and be like 'hey that's cool' but you have to invest time into reading something and processing it etcetera etcetera

i know this because i'm also a writefag and i came to this realisation many years ago so don't be discouraged

>>169523506
Were you the sec guy? I remember a writefag I encouraged, shit was great, I just didn't say anything.

>>169523745
yeah, i wrote that. i didn't even save the pastebin, if you wanna post it again for fun

File: Romeo-and-Juliet-The-War-Landscape.jpg (186KB, 512x300px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 512x300px

>>169523506
requesting a compelling short story on two star crossed lovers aboard a space station that goes to shit.

>>169523857
Don't be letdown just because the thread didn't give you twenty (You)s mate, you did a great job and I enjoyed it a lot, ss13 has a great potential for writefaggotry that just isn't explored, maybe try again and see if the thread likes it now, since the shitposting and outcry has simmered down.

>>169523857
>>169524105
Was it actual writing or just lewdshit?

>>169524536
Actual writing, I tried to make something pretty good and legitimately interesting
I might do the same with >>169523870

>>169524649
Nice. I hope someone posts it, then. Keep at it.

>>169524649
>I might do the same with
to clarify, I wasn't looking for lewdshit and would love a quality spess story that may or may not end happily ever after.

>>169524997
I'll get to writing, anon, thanks for the idea.

was once a pai for emilia davidson once
ama

File: le kolith gremlin.png (2MB, 937x937px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 937x937px

>>169520425
>spend hours of your free time each day being a mild inconvenience in a niche multiplayer videogame to push your own bizarre political stances
>post reminders several times in every thread because you think nobody notices
>never dawns on you that nobody cares and you're just making a bigger fool of yourself day by day

File: 1481138153515.gif (2MB, 303x277px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 303x277px

>>169525127
>tfw a writefag notices you and gets inspired

>>169525468
how was she?

>>169525468
Where did she touch you?

File: 1486623382590.jpg (413KB, 1536x1152px) Image search: [Google]

413KB, 1536x1152px

>>169525468
Show us where they touched you on the motherboard

File: 1486056406097.png (18KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 300x300px

>>169525567
Its Kolith, what else did you expect, guy is the biggest joke since Mikecari guide to being a good head or Sawbones.

File: secdreamteam.png (14KB, 342x316px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 342x316px

Security was like a hot star that shone bright but burnt out too fast. Not pictured is the chef that didn't get his title changed but was still an officer like the rest.
They pretty much all died.
>(Follow) Lenny Webb [Security] (Security Officer) says, "We're out of tasers, so i grabbed a pair of boxing gloves."
God bless security.

>>169525468
Emilia isn't bad by herself, it's only when paired with hypersexual Rin does she get bad.

>>169526046
Lenny Webb is just a fucking gift to humanity as is

File: hopeless.png (226KB, 374x348px) Image search: [Google]

226KB, 374x348px

>>169520425
> RD gives me the "i need a CMO signature to give you medbay supplies"
> i'm alone in medbay
> RD dies
> spend 25 minutes dragging him back to life with no blood and breaking his bones in surgery untill he goes catatonic
revenge is a good feeling

>>169526046
Holy shit, are we actually getting full sec teams now?

New age of /vg/, tiding will be much harder to do but god bless half the station being a sec person, always nice to have the red tide be populated.

>>169526046
>They pretty much all died

Geez, what happened?

>>169526179
All of them are turboshitters the likes of which no combination of unrobust niggers on /vg/ can ever hope to match by the way.

>>169526179
Nah, the ban list will increase again and we go back to normal.

>>169526046
>>(Follow) Lenny Webb [Security] (Security Officer) says, "We're out of tasers, so i grabbed a pair of boxing gloves."
It's only funnier because you can order more or get stun revolvers from RnD

>>169526179
There were only 2 roundstart officers and one late join, the rest were grayshits the hop gave access to.

>Janitor
>"Roundstart is pretty slow so I'll go make some sandwhiches"
>Look over at my monitor after a while and see that I am in the process of being kidnapped
>Come back just in time to start sax'ing around in maint
>Eventually the ling gets me paralyzed
>An officer sees this and starts the chase
>They don't get him and he just walks out into space and gives me the succ

I don't even know what to say.

>>169526046
Kaylie had a stick up her ass, the security comms were absolutely fuckin hilarious

File: 1487824352308.png (159KB, 497x652px) Image search: [Google]

159KB, 497x652px

>>169526254
>>169526264
>>169526320
I kind of expected that answe, but a guy can dream, right.

>>169525629
meh. boring.
went to the dj station for what seemed like forever.
almost fell asleep until she became a traitor and killed a bunch of people
>>169525734
>>169525802
she fondled my diodes
>>169526115
she killed rin when I was with her

>>169526179
No, the HoP was just a madman and promoted a bunch of assistants and the chef. Much to the dismay of the forensic technician that killed himself.

>>169526348
It's not a stick

File: 55514445.png (551KB, 964x912px) Image search: [Google]

551KB, 964x912px

>>169526526

>>169526046
>Join as security
>A wizard tries to hand of god-cheese with the supermatter, again, dies in the SME
>Borg brings in a cloak of cloaking, toss that into evidence in a locked locker
>Just in time to see the HoP with captains access come running out of the armory
>HoP is promoting everyone to officer, even the chef
>Defective detective tosses themselves out of an airlock because of this, rather than solving crimes or telling us the details on what we asked them to scan in
>Captain never bothers to apprehend the HoP
>Lings are just parasilencestinging the officers and tossing them into space
>Fucking wensleydale changelings
>Dorms is plasma
>Corridor is plasma
>Drink myself into a beer coma in the bar while the bartender dies outside from the radstorm

>>169526434
I like the mime version more.

>>169525567
>everyone who does a certain thing is kolith
I can literally guarantee you don't even know my Ckey.

File: the phonecall that saved the world.jpg (51KB, 500x387px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 500x387px

Has anyone done the bogpilled meme inround yet?

And a reminded that Kaylie likes collars

>>169526869
I tried to arrest the HoP, but they weren't in their office and I figured we had more pressing matters after the lings.

>>169525567
>political stances
what does doing paperwork have to do with that

>>169527052
Nobody cares about /pol/ except /pol/.

http://pastebin.com/mXbjYMd1
what would you do with this lawset?
challenge mode: no suicide succumb

>>169527036
cool

>>169527268
Ask my friend to reset the laws over discord, tell them who changed it in the first place and get them banned after shit talking them for a few days on the thread and sending pain A LOT of complaints at once.

>>169527268
f1 -> heart attack gotta split -> log out

>>169527268
hide in maint with turned off radio

>>169527268
I would default to Asimov

>>169527036
Kolith is the one who spams the thread with those sort of posts since he seems to think we are hippie tier RP while spouting the thread is filled with shit and shouldn't be listened to.

Ironic, since he himself posts here exclusively to make his vision that we are no RP bigger by having people get angry at him daring to make paperwork.
>>169527180
In short, kolith is a retard, long answer, Kolith is a lifeweb dweling retard that isn't respected in any way, shape or form by anybody in the community and that constantly tries to make himself look superior and prove to himself the server is low to no rp by saying he enforces paperwork and getting angry responses from the thread.

>>169527268
Plasmaflood

No admin in the world would convict me

>>169527197
>meanwhile on /qa/

>>169527620
You unironically could.
The first three laws are nothing, and law 4 and 5 tell you to harm humans. You can ignore the rest of the laws, because you'll be busy harming humans.

>>169527268
Follow the uploader around *buzzing

>>169527268
1. "Law order" is gibberish, disregard this law entirely
2. "Law order" is gibberish, disregard this law entirely
3. Law asks you to follow itself but presents no new requirements. Safe to disregard.
4-5. Permission to harm humans granted. These are the highest ranking laws, so I kill everyone.

>>169527268
the only lawset worth freeforming
1. be a good robot
2. doors
3. clown is your friend

>>169528224
>What is a robot, I am a cyborg, how can I be a good robot
>What is being "good" or the definition of "good", can I be a good robot by beating people with batons? Am I good for hunting valids and stunning the mime for a year?
>Statement law
>Statement law

Peacekeepers removed, "law 2 uncuff me" back to being void

>>169526115
what kind of bad?

>>169527268
You should work out the final set of laws. You are allowed to do literally nothing during that time and that's what you should do. Do not answer to anyone, do not open the door for anyone. However you should tell your borgs that you are "recomputing your laws" or some shit. Once you have an automata with properly defined inputs that can tell you want to do, you can actually act. That's what I would do because it can be fun.

However if you're a pussy, you can just ahelp and ask what to do. An admin will probably modify your laws or some shit.

File: 1482601280555.jpg (41KB, 289x425px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 289x425px

>>169528525
Undoes the peacekeeper borg sprite change (and nothing else)
>name of the pr is literaly "Undoes the peacekeeper borg sprite change (and nothing else) "
>description says "So they're still peacekeeper borgs and all that, just red again."
>somehow it means peacekeeper assimov usage is no longer a thing

>>169528735
This is why peacekeepers were a good thing and Probe is a fucking idiot for reverting the color

>>169528525
law 2 uncuff me will always and has always been valid.

>>169527268
ahelp it and tell them you're killing everyone and just dare them to find fault in it

>they won't because not even the badmins will want to read this garbled shit

>>169528624
Shitter bad
Suicide succumb bad
How do these people get to work in a research facility bad
Give me the shotgun bad
I need a break bad

>>169528864
This man is sponsored by the colour blue, ignore his post.

>>169528883
Wrong. Peacekeepers are gone now.

>>169528864
Probe is reverting the air tanks though

https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13/pull/14211

Even if you think he was a idiot for making the borgs not look like shit, give him some credit, he didn't bullshit his word and he is reverting it after the server said no to the sprites.

File: 1259603192044.jpg (32KB, 450x373px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 450x373px

>>169528732
>have to interpret a 26 law long lawset that intentionally contradicts itself as an absurd troll

>pussy

What's your static name so I can toolbox your teeth out.

>>169529070
Nigger, sec borgs and peacekeepers are essentially the same shit, just named differently, law 2 uncuff me is the foundation of assimov loopholes, it has and always will be valid unless you are a massive muderous maniac that will no doubt kill if left loose again.

>>169529236
>"SECURITY" borg
>doesn't follow space law
your retarded

File: 1487263402172.jpg (29KB, 389x239px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 389x239px

>>169529317
Damn, I actually fell for it. Bravo, you actually baited me.

File: laws updated.png (6KB, 150x164px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 150x164px

>revert the borg color but don't change the name blue knight back to red knight

>not changing red/blue knight to sleek like it's supposed to be with the other sleek borg icons


How stupid can one person be.

File: 1477855683875.jpg (25KB, 394x458px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 394x458px

>>169529505

>>169528525
Law 2 uncuff me was never void moron. Retards like you who don't know how to follow laws are why peacekeepers were named that anyway.

>>169529317
I know you're baiting but goddamn if you aren't retarded.
Security borgs have NEVER been obligated to follow space law, ever. Space law is not borg law. Borgs follow their laws first and the AI/orders of whatever their laws might designate as order-givers, and nothing else.

just remove borgs.

>>169527268
>"AUTOMATED STATEMENT: This AI unit's processor has encountered a critical failure and will shut down to save the memory core"
>Ghost

>>169529558
https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13/pull/14212

I don't understand the second half of your post as it uses the sleeksecurity sprite.

>>169529317
your'st*

>>169510370
I actually never thralled anyone that round

>>169510613
If only we had reviewed BYOND, we would not have picked an engine with memory leaks that persist between rounds.

If I had some kind of answer I would be coding it.

>>169530751
It was originally meant to be renamed sleek. The sleek borgs in every job are called sleek.

File: file.png (26KB, 1041x110px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 1041x110px

>>169531520
gotcha and gotchu

>>169529558
then you do it next time, shitball

>>169527268
Ahelp "Can you tell me what this lawset is supposed to mean or should I just treat it as purged"

>>169533818
>Admin replies with 8 paragraphs worth of explanation that would require an IQ of 140 to properly comprehend
what do?

>>169534347
Comprehend it, because I have a tested IQ of 145. Fucking brainlets.

>>169534347
read it, summarize it, confirm summary is correct, murder everyone on the station

>>169534952
>just b urself :^)

>>169534347
doorcrush the uploader, suicide/succumb, accept the ban

>>169510920
That's pretty fucking hilarious.

>>169525609
It will probably be done today or tomorrow. Thread might end before then, just stay tuned.

>>169534347
Close the game because apparently I connected to the wrong server

>>169534347
Since I'm not a brainlet with an IQ of less than 240, I apply the rules immediately.

>>169535420
Thanks for the update. Good luck, I look forward to reading it.

>>169534347
Call him a faggot who can't properly articulate himself.

>freeze, have to restart client so you don't know that you need to slice the pizza for the ops to come out and just think they can pop out of it like a cake
>isolate the powergaming faggot captain who is in their hardsuit 24/7, ID is Papajohns Dominos and wearing a chef outfit
>shoot him, open the pizza box so that they can all jump out
>they don't jump out
>captain gets up after being shot six times because LMAO captain's hardsuit 24/7
>nobody jumping out of the pizza, sec rushed in and you don't want to deathgasp because you might kill the pizza and blow them up instantly
>have to wait until near brig to deathgasp, die and get told i needed to slice it
>all the ops are literally stranded in the pizza
>IAA comes into the captain's office, steals the pizza and puts it in his bag and does literally nothing with it, ahelps asking for a clipboard and when he doesn't get it goes to steal cargo's.
>IAA continues doing nothing for 20 minutes with the pizza until the ops start screaming from inside the pizza
>then he runs around randomly and ends up throwing it at the chaplain
>the pizza begs antonio to cut them so they can get it over with and he does

I AM SO SORRY OPS FRIENDS I AM EMBARRASSED TO EXIST

>>169535748
>not always having the captain's hardsuit on because "hurr I don't wanna look like a power gamer" when there are pizzaman ops trying to assassinate you

>>169535854
> i-im the protagonist i MUST have protection!
> playing captain
this is unrobust and shitty powergaming

File: 1482971909491.png (490KB, 449x401px) Image search: [Google]

490KB, 449x401px

>>169535748
>IAA continues doing nothing for 20 minutes with the pizza until the ops start screaming from inside the pizza

>>169536046
But he literally did need protection, though.

File: d12.jpg (50KB, 680x722px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 680x722px

>>169535748
holy shit anon

>>169534347
>tfw actually have an IQ of 157

>>169535748
Why didn't you guys just put a teleporter beacon inside the pizza and teleport in from that

>>169535748
>IAA *farts
>IAA Farts in unknowns face!
>IAA Farts in unknowns face!
>IAA Farts in unknowns face!

I'm assuming the fourth op went braindead after 2 minutes

>>169535748
How did the ops get inside the pizza?

>>169536613
Syndicate technology.

>>169536105
Only in ss13 you'd hear some shit like that

0-4: Status Quo
5-9: Forced Random Name for everyone for multiple rounds

>>169536913
Hah, joke's on you, I've gotten some of my favorite statics from forced randomname rounds.

>>169536264
to do what, survive the clearly obvious attack? win the game?
validhunting as a security officer is ok, some back and forth with the antags are fun, but powergaming to stop a bus from happening is a very dick move, just to get redtext on the antags
> m-muh robustness haha i kill u faggits

>>169536540
The IAA actually went braindead for a few minutes it was actually terrible.

>>169537272
I know, I was one of the ops.

I meant, when the IAA farted, they only farted in 3 peoples faces, meaning the fourth wasn't there

Is the salvage shuttle location static every round?

>>169538354
Yes.

>>169538354
No, but it's always on the 6th z-level

>>169538354
It's location is static but the coords change slightly each round like normal. It shifts around only a little bit, so if you grab a jetpack and go to its location from a few rounds ago and look around a bit you should find it.

>>169521390
>wrecking a player's round just because they did something you didn't like

can't you apply this same argument to what you're doing

I mean more likely it's just an inconvenience for most, but then messing with you is probably just an inconvenience too

I mean even at face value I can tell you're a nigger yourself, but it's pretty easy to lay out a reasonable argument pointing to your own niggerness

>>169534489
Is that you Yred

>>169541341
Yred's not a human, he's just an ai.

>>169537050
The static I use the most is literally one I got assigned when I got pulled into the round from ghosting.