/heem/: i think you'd be surprised edition

schaub is our god

who is your favorite women's ufc fighter?

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The face of the spammer.

>>77706172
I'm not the spammer and you know that. It isn't me in the picture either. I get you're trying to get me banned again as evident by the previous thread.

>>77706172
I wonder, how many spammers frequent /heem/? Serious question.

Someone make a new thread so we aren't using the obese spammers

>>77706238
this is the dock "worker"
he is the worst american poster

>>77706172
Ignore
>77706198
>>77706172
pic has been proven to be Coral Springs many times in the past, check the archive

>>77706273
>pic has been proven to be Coral Springs many times in the past, check the archive
Please I beg of you to show me any proof it's me, link the archived posts you're referring to.

>>77706198
>>77706285
really fucking sick of this answer everything literally meme you've got going on, i seriously hope you get killed today

>>77706247
This is the spammer

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Favorite female fighter?

>>77706368
Rose "Thug" Namajunas.

Holy shit this thread is horrible already

Oh shit overeem is replacing JDS

Based

>>77706455
Yup. Because of this guy >>77706462

are there any fights tonight? even smaller orgs i don't care.

>>77706455
great way to get it on track.

>>77706475
calm down springsperg

>>77706493
Not easy when you're under constant attack.

JDS manager: it wasn't a steroid, it was a steroid masking agent!

>>77706475
stop replying to him and let him reply to himself until he triggers himself and starts spamming scat

did that creepy aspen ladd fan fulfill his promise of installing a camera in her gym's toilets to tape her taking a dump? i wouldnt put it past the freak

Did I start heem's downfall with my selfies? It was so comfy and mature before, or maybe I am just looking through nostalgia goggles.

I am sorry for what I brought then, but wouldn't I need to be in grief rather than repentance if I am what was brought in the first place, and so can't never seek forgiveness from a group I didn't belong to..

>coral springs

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Who would you bet on if you had $100 to waste on it?

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Say my name.

>>77706518
It's not easy, this guy is trying to dox me and find pictures of me.
>>77706535
You didn't contribute anything negatively to this place at all, imo you're the best poster here. If anything was the downfall it was Conor McGregor's rise to dominance.
>>77706539
Is the ideal place to live.

>>77706535
No you're completely irrelevant don't worry. No one would even notice if your country disappeared.


>>77706548
Dillon Danis

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>>77706548
Q tip

>>77706558
>You didn't contribute anything negatively to this place at all

Shirtless breakdancing webms and threatening to travel across countries to beat people up isn't negative at all lol.

>>77706546
Francis is a knockout artist who's never been finished, Overeem is prone to getting knocked out. I'd go with the obvious answer.

>>77706584
No, it isn't negative at all. He's not harming anyone, if anything he put bullies in their place. Lith walks the walk and exposes people as the keyboard warriors they are.

>>77706571
You're the schizo.

>>77706584
What the fuck did you just say about me

>>77706535
>translation: me me me, it's all about me.
no one cares about you.

Why is Schaub so insecure about Pro-wrestlers entertaining people?

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>coral springs

>>77706629
What did that halfwit say this time?

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Who is your favorite obese spammer?

>>77706548
Dildo Danus.

What's the greatest fight card of all time?

>>77706635
Is where you should raise a family.

>>77706675
189

>>77706675
UFC 100
UFC 92

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Tonon is FINISHED

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>>77706621
You're actually right about this I will try to do such faggotry less

>>77706658
>obese
>144 Pounds

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>>77706679
can I move in with you and fuck ur mum?

cause if so I'm in, balls deep.

Riddle me this...

Does any fighter have a sweeter girlfriend than Mike Perry?

She has a 10/10 ass, 9/10 face, and 11/10 personality.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwSVdakzXHc

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>>77706715
I didn't expect any better from a schoolyard bully, you must be 14.

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Lads are you /hype/ for the crawford fight later

>>77706720
Pat Barry

>>77706732
inches deep in your whore mother, you're right.

I have 2 kids, what's your problem?

>>77706751
>I have 2 kids
Does this statement somehow justify your behavior? At least if you were 14 this is expected, but now it's just sad.

>>77706650
I've just noticed whenever the topic of pro-wrestling comes up he feels cool to say its fake bullshit.

Like nigga, these people never claim to ACTUALLY be great fighters. By that logic he should shit on action movie stars.

>>77706761
Grow up and calm down.

>>77706747
>choosing psycho twink over thicc ass blond

>>77706743
Placed 20bucks on that Indigodongo

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>The Dan Marino of MMA

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>>77706247
Dock worker is the most bro of poster

>>77706732
Will Rogan do a Fight Companion for McGregor's destruction of Mayweather?

>>77706864
He's out of town for a comedy show that night.

>>77706535
This place began crap as soon as the Canadian dude started dying the OPs.

We used to have people that posted OPs that had tons of links to news articles and free fights available on YouTube. That Canadian fuck and soon others who followed would start spamming new threads with a shitpost before a proper OP could be made.

>>77706720
Damn, he fucked her up.

>>77706720
i like how badly she pissed off alan jouban, he was literally seething

>>77706895
lmao bud lol gooby!

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New HW champion in ACB, Mukhamed Vakhaev

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>>77706813
her hair is dyed blonde, just saying she's not any more blonde than rose lol

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>>77707011

>>77706973
I'm amazed that he still does this after 2 years. He must smoke weed all of the time.

>>77706965
it worked against her

>>77707064
alan jouban is still a lispy anti-bully fag

>>77706895
>>77706973
>>77707055
Its going to be okay

>>77707015
wtf are those comments

>>77706683
>>77706698
These

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>>77707085
You should see the comments on Gina's

>>77707085
that pool vagina one is fucking hilarious

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anyone hope joanna loses a fight just so she loses that smugness for a couple minutes?

>>77707078
DO I LOOK STRESSED TO YOU?

>Brad Pickett vs Paulhares

how is this fair?

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>Manlet Chad got married

Whats your excuse?

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>>77707078
I just want it to go back to when times were better, bro!

tj dillashaw's kid is going to be 5'2 his wife can't even be 5'0 tall

>>77707177
>married
poor guy fell for the meme

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>>77707137
>tfw you'll never take a dip in Rose's pool vagina

>>77707131
>zahid_bhai

>>77707131
Wth lol are these fake post?

>>77707177
I'm older than Chad. If I had a wife she would be yelling at me for eating cereal on my bed.

>>77707177
very happy for him, chadlet is goodguy

>>77706675
100, 178, 194, 214 were stacked

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>>77707131
>>77707015
Getting weird there friendo

>>77707177
>those boots
>still 5 inches shorter

>>77707074
>anti-bully fag
first time i hear someone make fun of a person for being anti-bully

the fuck world are you from nigga

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>>77707177
Does she have chest tats though?

>>77707268
florida

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>>77707278
>>77707177

>>77707131
Fuck. THat leg development is insane at that age.

>>77707318
literally lol'd

>>77707318
not really. i gota a daughter she has even bigger legs and she's 7 and not fat at all.

but at the same time my wife is a 5'11 swimmer and has really good genetics... meanwhile i'm 5'7 skeleton. must have taken her genetics.

>>77707336
>>77707310
>>77707278
>>77707177
>meanwhile i'm 5'7
all of these fucking midgets

Oezdemir v Gustafsson

What would you think about it?

>>77707357
i think it makes no sense they're the 2 ''''''''''contenders'''''''' in that division, gus should fight jon next

i'd pick gus to win i still think oezdemir is a meme

>>77707357
Both Volkan and Gus need to face Jones.

Volkan for meme death punch

Gus to set the record straight

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>>77707336
I want my own jacked daughter.

>>77707373
agreed, make Oez v DC first

>>77707377
>Gus to set the record straight
jon won that fight though lol, literally no debate to anyone who knows what they're watching, and jon is better now!

>>77706965
why what did she do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRhMEPfR-W4

Tallest and shortest fighters in each division

Flyweight: Lineker (5'2) / Smolka (5'9)
Bantamweight: Gorman (5'4) / Roop (6'1)
Featherweight: Brimage (5'4) / Chope (6'4)
Lightweight: Sherk & Prazeres (5'6) / Vick & Mulhern (6'3)
Welterweight: Serra (5'6) / Magny (6'3)
Middleweight: Henrique Da Silva (5'8) / Barnatt (6'6)
Light Heavyweight: Latifi (5'8) / Diabate (6'6)
Heavyweight: Hunt (5'10) / Struve (7'0)

Crazy that there's a 1 inch difference between the shortest heavyweight and tallest flyweight.

Also crazy that theoretically if you're 6 feet tall you could win titles in 7 divisions (not flyweight).

Notice Dillon is the mainevent, not shields

>>77707451
Nothing to anyone who isn't a fag. Just talked shit in the lead up to the fight. He was "appalled" at the crude things she said lol.

>>77707457
Notice that Dildo is about to get his ass beaten.

where can i watch Polaris?

>>77707373
>>77707377
I don't think Jon wants either of those fights to be honest.

>>77707477
On twitter or is there a video?
I remember hearing about her and mike perry yelling shit at Alan in a hotel which would piss me off

Polaris stream

http://www.vipleague.se/boxing/495635/1/polaris-pro-:-polaris-5-live-stream-online.html

>>77707503
thanks got it on r/mmastreams

>>77707457
Garry Tonon is a big guy.
Also, why is the fight announcer an actual bum?

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If Reem accepts the Ngannou call out, who wins?

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daily reminder dana white is not 6 feet tall

>>77707500
>which would piss me off
you're a baby

>>77707516
>r/mmastreams
i really hope they arrest everyone associated with that, how the fuck do they allow streams but ban you for making fun of fighters

>>77707526
he shouldn't, not enough time to prepare for that gorilla. I fear for the Reem heem'd chin

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My favorite female fighter has a new boyfriend and I am most displeased.

>>77707547
My favorite are the rules websites illegally streaming events have for their chat. "No racism." Really? You're committing a felony but you can't be racist lol.

>>77707552
harambe died bro, he was enslaved and murdered for grabbing what he thought was his son

Holy fuck Jiu Jitsu is boring af

>>77707587
Jake shields is the worst.

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doesn't miesha "sit on my face" tate look like that girl from friends

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>>77707597
Yes

>>77707597
feebee?

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>>77707597
TBQH the fact that Miesha Tate may at some point sit on my face until I suffocate is the only reason I haven't killed myself yet.

isn't it a bit racist to say paige looks like a monkey given she has african genetics?

>>77707597
looks like a dude
a dude horse

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>>77707632
she does?

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>>77707597
monica

do you think claudia galdehla can take a six inch penis fully into her? i bet i'd be able to make a bump in her belly, both during and a while after fucking her. awesome

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Describe his post fighting career in one word.

>>77707654
Successful.

>>77707648
why the fuck do you have that picture?

>>77707654
negligible

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>>77707648

>>77707654
jokes

>>77707651
no woman wants a six inch nub

>>77707250
his gf is legit 6'2

>>77707654
Bereft of worth.

>>77707662
i just downloaded it to question your assertion and already deleted it, literally and unironically

>>77707654
peaches

>>77707680
>legit 6'2
no she isn't

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>>77707668
>>77707648
why does she have that weird face though, her parents are dead average.

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What did she mean by this?

>>77707705
her mom looks better than she does, or at least did when she was paige's age

>>77707704
ok ok she is legit 6'0

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Alright our boy is up

>>77707725
source

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>>77707630
misha tate is 30 years old

i don't want a 40 year old sitting on my face so i gotta execute this plan in the next 5 years for prime tate ass

first i will train as much as possible and try to get a black belt in bjj

i'll then travel to her gym and weasel my way into a sparring session with her

this is when i strike, i'll get in a butt lock (not yet invented) and where she has no choice but to sit on my face and smother it with her ass, which is when i'll take a big breath in and enjoy the stench of tender miesha bubble butt

i'll probably kill myself afterwards

>>77707819
>30 years old
31
and looks like a dude

>>77707745
her grandfather is black

>>77707745
did you delete this

PVZs new boyfriend is called Austin Vanderford. Handsome chap.

>>77707840
>her grandfather is black
on which side? both parents look fully white, at least mother. can't find good pictures of dad.

lmao dillon sucks

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>>77707819
Prime Tate ass was a couple years ago, sadly.

How does NCAA work? Do they just come to your college and scout or do you apply or what? Anyone here is or was part of it?

GOOBFAGS ON SUICIDE WATCH!!!! HAHAH DANIS BTFO!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>77707526
dude

reem will die

Danis is getting schooled

>>77707877
Source?

>>77707654
Meteoric.

Dildo really should have incorporated more of the Schaub Shutdown into his gameplan.

>No 'JDS'? No problem. Francis Ngannou says bring on Alistair Overeem at UFC 215
http://mmajunkie.com/2017/08/junior-dos-santos-francis-ngannou-wants-alistair-overeem-ufc-215-edmonton

>>77707819
i hope your dreams come true

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R O B B E R Y
O
B
B
E
R
Y

>>77707705
Her mom is not average. Maybe in Norway.

DANIS BTFO

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>>77707970
mad because your mom's no longer a fan?

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>>77707970
>don't attack
>complain about losing

>>77707706
BIG
BLACK
COMEDY

Fucking cringe. How is it only tri-star manage to host true submission only grappling when literally we all want it

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points dont mean anything anyway, you win a fight by finish only where my EBI rules at

>>77707951
instgram stories then she commented eggplants on his pics... they're definitely fucking

>>77707972
averagely white, whatever. i don't know what i meant.

>>77707819
Let her get North south positioning on you or a reverse mount and scoot your face on under for perfect positioning to smell

What happened? Did Danis lose?

>>77708059
Yes

>>77707693
YA CANT BE MY FRIEND

>>77708061
How did he lose?

>>77708072
on points

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DanisFags in shambles

Is Danis on a 2 grappling losing streak now?
He lost to Shields not long ago I'm sure

>>77708071
peaches a beast 100%

>>77708072
By not trying to win. He just came to not get subbed.

>>77707654
who

>>77708101
4, he should move to MMA except for pure submission only. Points are a bitch

Is being a complete fucking retard the best way to get (You)'s ?

Holy shit Chael. Does he do this on purpose lmao wtf mate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odyghu38Imk

>>77708210
And yet he's still making more sense than Brando.

>>77708235
I don't know man. Floyd has used 8oz literally most of his career. Chael's just completely wrong here, there's no defending it or theory

>>77707452
Having that big height advantage and still be shit, what's the point of Smolka

>>77708271
Chael is always wrong.

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>>77708162
No, cuz you're already a complete fucking retard if all you're looking for by posting here is (You)'s.

>>77708362
He's a troll, one of the best in sports history.

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>>77708271
And yet.

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Is she part black?

>>77708374
kek decent webm that

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Conor is quite clearly balls deep in Floyd's head

You can see it in the all access, even when he's horse riding or in a meeting at his strip club every second sentence out of his mouth is about McGregor

You can't hide that shit

>>77708271
>>77708210
someone post that to reddit let's see those fags jump out to defend him

>>77708477
that means literally nothing, eddie was knee deep in conor's head and look how that turned out
>https://youtu.be/2mLqvj9gM4g

>>77708408
only when she's in bed

>>77708477
you think conor can get inside the head of a 40 year old dude who's been shittalking his entire life?

>>77708506
Do you think she likes the BBC?

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a lil preview of the September remix. I think it'd slightly more legible. Disregard color

Is there a card on?

>>77708549
considering her bf history, probably not

>>77708549
Not even a little.

>>77707535
I would fuck you up though

It's funny that the boxer who is known for getting hit the least in his career also sounds like he has the most advanced stage of CTE... is Floyd just retarded or did he get hit too many times in sparring?

>>77708552
Still a mess, but better. Also you should add the Fatsmash tournament that starts on the 2nd Sunday

>>77708675
It's in his genes, just listen to Sr.

>>77708408
from the waist down

>>77708408
no she got asked it in a q&a and didn't mention being part african-american, and she said part native american so she definitely would have mentioned it if she was

>>77706109
>tfw tapout changed their logos and don't stroll baseball caps anymore

>>77708517
Yes

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The fighting pride of Australia

>>77708799
that wingspan though

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Is she the GOAT?

Is there anyone that's more of a cutie patootie?

>>77708799
looks like a dude

>>77708502
Nah, Diaz got in his head when he said "You were born rich"

That shit would piss any relatively "self made" man the fuck off. You could see the rage in Conor's eyes when he said it

>>77708799
how tall is she?

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>>77708813
there's no one at 115 she can beat that would make me think more of her, she will have to go to 125 and win there

>>77708799
Megan Anderson Reach 77.5 in (197 cm)
Brendan Schaub reach Reach 78 in (198 cm)

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>>77708875

>>77708875
jessica is barefoot and the asian wearing shoes is noticeably shoter and literally looks skinnier

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>anon roll with me? I need help in this skills and u help me to put respect in my name

>>77708903
yeah exactly a woman joanna's age who literally quit her job at a cheesecake factor this year is the division's top prospect

>>77706201
More like how many normal posters frequent the spam pit known as heem?

>>77708625
I thought all white girls in America love BBC

>>77708903
she really should have given The Cheesecake Factory 2 weeks notice quitting over the phone is bad form

>>77708975
not my mother (as far as i know)

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Which UFC figher has the greatest Height:Reach ratio?

I know Conor has fucking monkey arms despite being 5'9 but I was wondering who #1 was?

>>77706548
>Le 0-0 man

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>>77708903
>Barely squeak past Jojo
>Fight JJ
Yeah no

>>77709008
Gotta be jones, or one of the lesser know niggers in lower weight classes

>>77709008
kevin lee has a longer reach and i don't think he's taller than mcgregor

i'm so depressed still. i just don't know if i'll make it another month.

Who is your favorite male to female trans martial artist?

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>>77709057

rose namajunas

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>>77709032
>Height: 5'9
>Reach: 6'5

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>>77709057

>>77709094
thats the biggest clit i've ever seen

trt?

>>77708374
kek

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What's next for her career, senpai?

Action movie? A fight with JJ?

>>77709094
how did she put that on and think no one would notice it looks like she stuffed a sock in there

>>77709142
Hopefully porn

>>77709142
Jessica Ayyyyyyyy lmao

>>77709142
pregnancy -> marriage -> personal trainer.

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which fighter has the most punchable face?

>>77709191
that's the sad reality of being a female athlete

>>77709249
Not this one

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>>77709249
not even close

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>>77709191
You mean after she becomes champ?

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Assuming you and I are both untrained in combat, I can beat you because I'm bigger and stronger than you.

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>>77709312
delete this.

>>77709294
wan panch bruva

>>77709326
I'm not untrained. I would do a simple takedown and just break your arm.

>>77709294
Him and his crew ordering "biscuits" in one of the embedded videos annoyed me. He came off as stereotypical limey. Very pompous. No offense.

>>77709326
yes athleticism wins 90% of the time. unless one person is trained in combat for a long ass time, a fit and strong man would beat any weakling 10 out of 10 times.

>>77707706
If I recall correckly, MUH PLUMS, swollen.. ready for the farmers markets!

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>>77709249
I know which ref does

>>77709346
In order to take me down you have to be within my heem radius (not going to disclose how close you have to be) and a quick uppercut would end your night.

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>>77709249

>>77709369
LOL

>>77708975
Most are disgusted.

>>77709326
Not necessarily
Some people are just tough. They can take a punch, and give one, etc. No training required.
Not saying they'd beat any pros, but they can beat a random untrained guy.

>>77709355
Wrong
I've personally seen big guys getting knocked the fuck out by guys who looked like the fucking "virgin post" meme thing

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>>77709369
kek
why does he remind me of this?

>>77708374
Aw. Was waiting for "mevment" but southpaws was fine. Kek

>>77709425
the guy was probably a boxer or something

what i mean is, give me any 4th degree bjj black belt or whatever the fuck, if they don't train weights and are weak, they would get smoked by an NFL player with no fighting experience

>>77709312
I really want to eat her ass. But Before she turns 25. She's gonna age like milk

>>77709459
i mean what are you supposed to do, put them in a lock? with the right strength you can get out of any submission

>>77709462

See my plan at >>77707819

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpO2DbYvsjs&t=1019s

Has BJJ ever been btfo this hard before?

>>77709436
lel sure looks like that same expression of smug disdain

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>>77709462

>>77709373
But you don't know how to punch. I'd see it coming, catch it, and just take you to the ground.

I get punched in the face 4 days a week. I wouldn't be intimidated by a novice's feeble attempts to imitate movie fight moves.

>>77709494
if i didn't know better i'd say lesbian couple
don't even look related

watched this fixed ass fight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nb4Tf1Esx4

>>77709355
But you're not factoring training.

Any man with 6 months of BJJ training can beat 75% of all untrained fighters.

>>77709521
they might even trick josef mengele

>>77709468
>>77709459
One lucky bang to the jaw or temple is all it takes, lad.
The submission thing is accurate though

Some men have that fighters instinct like Beserker vikings

>>77709504
is oralsprings a new play on words because that's pretty good

>>77709459
How would you become a black belt in BJJ without being strong? Do you know how hard even a blue belt trains in conditioning alone?

>>77709533
his incest fetish went too far 2bh

>>77709326
is this you or are you saving pictures of men flexing in mirrors? either way stop.

>>77709548
But that doesn't happen in fights. Most people swing slowly and leave themselves wide open. Any novice with 6 months of fight experience can deal with that.

See Chris Leben destroying Jason Strange Brew at the TUF 1 Finale.

>>77709492
shitty concept

it;s basically first man to tap out makes his entire team lose because then it's a 5 v 4

>>77709603
Don't make me use the Tyson quote mate

People think they can do all sorts of shit and then they realise their shit just got fucked and no they actually can't

Upsets happen all the time, it's no different

>>77707819
Might as well rape her if you can

>>77709494
JJ actually doesn't look too bad. Paige has the fat genetics, gonna look way worse than JJ at 30

>>77709638
But upsets don't happen between an untrained person who has never been in a fight and someone with basic 6 months of training.

6 months of BJJ and 6 months of a striking art - Muay Thai or boxing- will make you able to easily beat 75% of untrained people in a fight.

i will beat 100% of you in fights

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>>77709656
WOW, wow.

>>77709638
But the Tyson quotes applies more to untrained people- who have never been punched in the face before. A trained person has gotten used to being punched in the face. I get punched in the face 4 days a week. I wrestle and get choked out 4 days a weeek. Every week in and week out getting an arm bar. But that whole time I'm getting used to fighting hurt. I tap them out more than they tap me out.

>>77709566
i went to a bjj club, there's no weight training. if you're 120 pounds you can do conditioning all you want you'll still be 120 pounds.

>>77709705
>>77709762
6 months is nothing. You're talking shit

Pro boxers get BTFO in street fights often enough by complete 0's, happens all the time

>>77709716
this is why i would fly out to a /heem/ meetup if there ever was one, to see the face of internet tough guy. skinny ass tapout shirt wearing dweebs talk about how deadly their moves are hahahha

>>77709762
> I get punched in the face 4 days a week.

fucking chinlet leaf, are you even trying?

ramp it up to 6 times a week and then we'll talk about you having a chin.

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>>77709805
say that to my face motherfucker, not online and see what happens

I haven't had sex in almost a year

As an MMA fan, you've got to want Conor to win. His victory could inspire an entire generation to take to MMA rather than Boxing, increasing the talent pool and taking the sport to new heights

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv4vKEaQxP8

lol pregnancy tests

>>77709951
sometimes, when I'm depressed, I take one of those to say at least I'm not pregnant.

>>77709951
She is easier to listen to than rose and paige

>>77709937
boxing is a dead sport already. it's just old men at the pub watching it at this stage.

>when your brother tries to put you into a triangle and you slam him onto the grass and he says "that's it we're fucking done" and walks away

Show your shadowboxing and I will see how many dead weight muscles are those.

Most fighters have compact seamless muscles that look natural or close to natural even when they are roided to the gills.

All I see here is you trying to get as much angle as you can with stragely bloated muscles. Show how you naturally then I can judge.

>>77709951
how does Joanna go up a weight class in 3 hours notice?

>>77710181
>>77709326

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>UFC 215
>worst card in UFC history
>DJ headlining it
>Dana will tell him ''sorry kid you just don't sell well''
>even tho it's not his fault
>to top things off the card is shortly after Mayweather vs. Conor

The absolute state of DJ's life.

>>77710358
>>even tho it's not his fault
it his fault for being the size of an 8 year old

>>77710358
>worst card in UFC history
Not even close.

>>77710411
based bundaspain

>>77710393
As a PPV event I think it is.

>>77710518
UFC 147

>>77710527
UFC 33

>>77710411
Actually, now you mention it, does anyone do this thing where you've just met this new person and they're nice and everything, but you still think 'I wonder what will happen if I hit you right in the face'

>>77710518
208