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ITT: useless normie advice
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 85
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ITT: useless normie advice

>just meditate bro
>>
>>26026078
well did you?

your disdain for the advice suggests you didn't
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>What I do is, I pretend like I'm an actor playing a character! I just act like I'm someone different.
what the fuck does this EVEN mean
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>you can't love others unless you love yourself!
yes I can
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>>26026078

>tfw they removed backtrack from faceless
>>
Any advice that boils down to

>I don't like X
>Just change X

Oh I never thought of that!!!
>>
I absolutely despise the "just be yourself" meme.

"just being myself" would involve calling every black person I see a "nigger", grabbing random Stacey's asses, and living the rest of my life as NEET, which is in no way possible.

God, I hate normies.
>>
>>26026239
How are you supposed to play him now?

Is he even more of an offline now?
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>>26026275

we hate you too, sperglord
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>>26026291
yes and I hate him, I don't care what /d2g/ or reddit say

old faceless was my boy
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>>26026214
Yeah they won't love you back though faghat.
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>>26026078

Meditation really has nothing to do with normalfaggotry though, and if done right it's about forgetting all the bullshit that occupies the normie life. Just pretending to meditate to seem "deep" or "spiritual" is normie, and I can see how maybe implying meditation would fix all a robot's problems would be some typical normalfag non-advice. But you should try meditation and not just write it off as normie out of hand.

Pic related, it's my mantra.
>>
>just get rich
I can buy a prostitute now, none of the women who would be into me provided it were that easy would want to be with me anyway
>just improve your social status
Wonder why I hadn't thought of that earlier
>just lift
Will compound lifts make me taller and less ugly?
>>
>>26026275
you're misinterpreting the advice. Are you really this dumb?

robots don't want to take advice because you guys just love being the helpless victim. Fuckin' fags the lot of you.
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>>26026301
Get the fuck off my board, normie scum.

This comment is indeed original.
>>
>>26026078
>how to communicate with others
>just say whatever's on your mind, listen and ask questions!
>>
>>26026291
offlane faceless a shit
i don't care if he's a better hero now and possibly one of the best offlaners. i just want to play him as a carry why can't i have that fuck you icefrog
>>
>You just gotta talk to people! Put yourself out there and you'll make friends.
TALKING TO STRANGERS CAUSES ME PHYSICAL PAIN

I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING STABBED IN THE GUT
>>
>Have problems? Just stop thinking about them!
>You need to talk to someone about your problems. But, no, not me.
>No woman is going to want a man that's depressed.
>Just be yourself.
>>
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any variation of "disorders are all in your head", "psych meds are jew magic", "just get over it", "therapy is useless", etc

how about you don't fucking tell me what's good and bad for MY brain
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Just wash ur face bro!
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>>26026349
how is it misinterpreting though he's literally being himself
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>>26026460
Bro.

Hey. Hey bro.

Do you... drink water?

Have you tried... a clean pillow?
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>>26026459
>exercise helps get rid of depression!
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>>26026349
Not him but I can only ever be myself around my girlfriend and even then she gets upset occasionally as a result of me saying racist things from time to time.

You can't tell someone to be who they are then say they've misinterpreted the advice because they personally hold a view that is socially unacceptable.
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>>26026459
>>26026498
>"stop making excuses"
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>>26026460
>>26026480
Sounds like you guys have too much sodium in your diet
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>>26026459
That's not YOUR brain
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>>26026498
>lift for years
>still short and ugly which is the root of my depression
thanks /r9k/
>>
>Failed Normies general aka I come here to shitpost tee hee xd
>>
>lol just do stuff for you bro haha just do things to make u happy don't care about what all these other fake ass ppl think
I WANT FRIENDS I WANT LOVE I WANT COMPANIONSHIP AND I FEEL MY BRAIN MELTING EVERY SINGLE DAY I SIT HERE ALONE DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO "DO THINGS FOR ME" YOU TAKE ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FOR GRANTED

I HAVE
N O
O N E
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>>26026702
That's one genuinely funny thing about 4chan. NoFap, Starting Strength, cutting, bulking, meditation, Habit RPG, wealth acquisition, hobbies, etc. nobody has to or is expected utilize all these tools to get laid, make friends or get into a relationship with the exception of 4chan users.

You can improve yourself but if you can't get laid without having done any of that crap you're not going to get laid afterward.
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>>26026402
>'imagine everyone in their underwear"
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>>26026796
Ignore the quote
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>>26026785
I don't even care about getting laid. I just want friends. A companion. A confidant. Someone who I can be affectionate towards and who can be affectionate towards me. Someone I can be intimate with. Someone.

Robot isn't an accurate title. Robots act like humans. I feel like an alien. I feel like a different fucking species put on earth with the desire to intermingle but not the skills.
>>
>just get a hooker bro
HOW THE FUCK IS THAT GOING TO MAKE ME LESS LONELY
FUCKING NORMIES ONLY THINK ABOUT SEX REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>26026162
the fuck are you talking about

I do this literally every day. Everyone I know thinks I'm a normie.
>>
I almost posted this in another thread but then I realized it was terrible useless normie advice and belonged here instead:

This long post is to spread the gospel of being a stereotype and broadcasting your talent-based hobbies, no matter how lame. This is mostly aimed at cyborgs who have contact with girls or expect that they will in the future:

I used to think all of my exes were the pinnacle of sexiness and I wondered how I could possibly have landed such impossibly out-of-my-league guys. Just today I took stock of my notches and realized that not a single one was good looking in the slightest. Three were fat, four were under 5'5, some were both, all had worrying hygiene. Three had never had a girlfriend. One was missing a testicle AND he was short. Pig noses, big chins, severe acne, pectus excavatum... it all came up. Yet many girls envied me. Better-looking friends betrayed me to steal them away. The only thing they had in common was a talent of some sort. Music, usually. Most had been playing instruments fewer than 3 years. Some just had good taste in music or books or websites.

But you HAVE TO give physical cues. Dress the part of the stereotype. Wear a logo shirt at the very least. This serves as the pussybeacon. I even dated one guy because he really rocked at video games (seriously every video game. he was a god and not even asian. the difference between him and you is that he embraced it and dressed like a pr0gam3r even though he sat at home all day). But the hobby has to be something "bad ass" to the target female audience. If you want some kind of smelly brony girl with pink hair, build a great animal suit or whatever you degenerates do. Delusional, confident, easily-tricked girls like me will eat it up no matter how cute we are and how unfortunate-looking you are, within reason.

Given enough public exposure, you can get a cute girl for the price of a band t-shirt.
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>You don't have to be depressed, just think positive and be cool!

No. My brain chemistry is literally fucked. You will never know the pain of waking up every morning feeling disappointed the reaper didn't take you in your sleep
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>>26026078
I want to slice open the abdomens of faggots who type that half assed shit and set fire to their innards.
>Meditate bro totally werks
Go fuck yourself, ghandi.
>>
>>26026931
the only music i'm really knowledgeable about is hip-hop and women don't like that
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>>26026955
You're like me. I know that feels.
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>>26027030
Normies think depression = being sad they didn't get the new iPhone on day one

Whenever I hear a normie saying he/she is "depressed" I feel something other than constant despair, burning rage
>>
>bro, you just need to put yourself out there and talk to girls
>>
>>26026855
This. I don't understand why Robots are so terribly sex driven when there's plenty of good porn, and if you're really that desperate you can just pay for an escort. I just want a companion.

The thing is about it is that it doesn't stop there. None of us will ever be satisfied with a friend who's a guy; they must be a girl because so many of us have been shoved away by females over the course of our lives that we want to break that gender barrier. It's just in our nature to want to be close to the opposite sex in a romantic way, regardless of sexual frustration.
>>
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>>26027098
Slogging through the day and someone deigns to ask if "you're okay". you get what is in essence "man up. you'll get over it". You don't simply get over a chemical imbalance.
Lying in bed during during the day and not wanting to leave because you want to die
>It'll get better, anon. You just need to have a positive outlook. And smile for a change!
Situations like this when sometimes I feel like instead of merely ending myself, going on a spree.
>>
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>>26027239
Yep, every fucking time someone brings it up. I've always been polite in my answers, and I'm too tired and unmotivated all the time to be that guy that snaps and shoots up the workplace
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>>26027313
I'd like to think that I wouldn't kill innocent people because, well, why would I kill people because of my own problems. But sometimes my deep, indifferent hatred frightens me.
>>
>>26026931
>wear a band shirt
>step out the front door
>oh no
>people are looking at me
>people are looking at my stupid shirt
>fuck why didn't I bring a hoodie oh god I could have zipped it up a little bit and hid the logo
>PLEASE stop looking at me fuck what if someone comments on my shirt
>my arms are getting really red this was a mistake
>I feel like such a poser if someone came up to me right now and asked me about my shirt I'd probably say something stupid
>they're probably looking at me because they think this band is dumb
>why didn't I just wear a plain colored sweater it's so easy and doesn't grab attention
>I'm already outside I can't go back and change
>why did I wear this, I hate talking about my interests to people, I don't have anything worthwhile to say
>>
>>26027024

That does seem to be true except for the normiest of girls. Try the classic hip hop angle if anything. Cool girls love run-DMC for some reason.

>>26027504

Holy shit that is accurate. You do have to know your stuff. An army recruiter actually grilled me about a band back in highschool and it was humiliating. With luck any girl that approaches you won't be an expert on the band either.
>>
>>26026078
>shitting on meditation
I remember when I used to do that. I couldn't be bothered to meditate. Tried it a few times, nothing, couldn't concentrate, vidya and porn seemed more appealing.

It takes consistency, it has to become a daily thing. Also, normies don't usually meditate, meditation seems more like robot advice than anything.
>>
> just be positive! negativity breeds negativity
ignore all your problems and they'll go away as if by magic, great advice
>>
>>26027504
Are you me? Its even worse because If someone asks I'm scared they will hate me for my music taste
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>LOL U SHOULD SMOKE SOME WEED LMAO
Being a stoner should be classified as a mental illness
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>>26026327
I've been thinking about meditating, what do I do? I don't feel like reading a whole book, just give me an introduction
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>>26030481
You could start with something guided like the Headspace app, but I prefer Vipassana. Good explanation here:

http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/how-to-meditate
>>
Remember the meme: anything that someone else recommends is normie, anything you do is robotic

I'VE TRIED NOTHING AND I'M OUT OF IDEAS

DAE KNOW THAT FEEL WHEN YOUR SENSE OF SELF-RIGHTOUSNESS ABOUT YOUR MISERY KEEPS YOU FROM MAKING THE SLIGHTEST ADJUSTMENT TO YOUR PISS JUG LIFESTYLE

BLOO BLOO BLOO NORMIES NEVER KNOW THIS FEEL
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>>26030437
>smoke weed
>everything is worse
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>>26026460
>>26026480
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
>wash my face at least twice a day
>drink water
>on antibiotics and using presciption washes
>normies STILL fucking say this shit to me
They deserve a fate far worse than death
>>
>>26030717
Spotted the normie who gives bad advice.
>>
My norman cousin told me to meditate, he invited me to his meditation session this one time. He sat on the sofa in silence for about 4 minutes and got up saying 'see'?

I was tempted to knock his pseudo-chakra ass out, but too beta.
>>
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>>26030857
BLOOOOOOOOOOOOO a BLOOOOO-HOOOOOO
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>>26030857
You'll probably feel better once Trump makes you get a job
>>
>>26026078
say "Jesus" over and over in your head until you feel better.
>>
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DOTA TIMEEEE
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>>26026370
you can play him as carry still, just don't get vlads if you're going to carry, also get a mjollnir for sure
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>>26026355

This is actually a great advice.

If you cant push yourself to do it just practice on language exchange sites or on shit like chatroulette/omegle (just be smart on your tags)
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>>26026275
That would make you a Chad-ish white trash, which is probably better than being a robot.
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>>26026546
Is thi real? I have bad acne even though I wash my face, but I eat a fuckton of sodium.
>>
>>26026078
Normie's don't meditate, its something old and beneficial that trendies stole because fad. True robots are the ones introspecting.
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>>26026162
Acting actually works, though.
Take some classes, write up a character and get to it.

>>26026239
He's p shit now.
He can't carry anymore because he dies in like three seconds, he has this weird situation where he's a counter initiator, but he doesn't actually prevent initiation and just does stuff after being initiated on.
>>
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>just bee yourself.
>life gets better after high school
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>>26032711
>life gets better after high school
That's not advice, but if your life isn't better after high school it's probably your own fault no matter who you are.
>>
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>>26026498
it literally does kek

fix your life and you will stop being a sad piece of shit
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>have anxiety? Just relax, and don't be anxious
>depressed? Just be happy

Wow thanks guys, couldn't have done it without you.
>>
>>26033343

A depressed person exercising is a symptom of it getting better, since depression drains all your motivation.

Saying that starting to exercise helps with depression is basically saying that not being depressed helps with depression.
>>
>>26026931

> just have shit taste bro
>>
>>26026162
This actually works though.

Inside, I'm a depressed, self-hating robot with suicidal thoughts almost constantly. Whenever I talk to anyone, I just act like I'm much happier than I am. It tends to work pretty well.

>>26026214
Fuck this shit though.
>>
>>26027504
>>26028110
>>26030135
Is this a thing?

The only band shirts I've ever owned have been Jimi Hendrix (I know he's not a band but whatever) and The Beatles shirts. Usually I just get a comment like, "Nice shirt," or "I love that band."

I've been wanting to buy a The Strokes shirt for a while and more. I'm just poor though
>>
>>26026162
everybody does act. there are a lottof "yous" u use in different social situations. try reflecting about them and analyze them. then you can make use of them
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>>26033918
To go further into detail, this is actual psychology. It's called a, "persona" and it's a real thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persona_(psychology)

You want some real advice? Don't be yourself, be someone that people would actually like. I do it all the time. Slowly craft a likable, sociable persona that leaves an impression.
>>
>Just go get laid bruh!
>Bruh just talk to your friends, you have friends right?
>Just say fuck it and go on a wild adventure!!
>>
>>26033888
MEGA Normie detected. Those bands are real pleb tier. Also stop being poor and get a new job.
>>
>>26026214
Truu

>You have been muted for 4 seconds, because your comment was not original

?
>>
>just bump bro
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