might order a pizza tonight lads edition
>Haven't watch K-On
>Mugi still my waifu
I'm so fucked up
Alright lads, Here's my cv.
Remember keep it short and sweet and if you worked in a shop with more than one person you were working as part of a team.
If you worked in a kitchen as a potwash you were working to ensure that all equipment was kept clean to an acceptable standard in line with HSE guidelines
>Hobbies and Interests
>Grades don't line up with subjects
>listing every individual GCSE
>no core competencies under employment section
>wasting space listing references instead of providing them on request
Your CV is bad
>I enjoy cycling, particularly when it involves achieving a goal such as reaching a certain destination
Treat yourself before you beat yourself
Well then you've got an extra grade in there because the 4th subject down is Physics and the 4th letter down is C.
Throw it out and start again anon, I used to work in recruitment and this type of CV was usually accompanied by a photo of a bewildered Indian man. Just use a word document without all the tables.
Double posting for the Derby lad with a band.
I'm in Derby. What's the name of your band? What type of stuff do you play?
>the recent events
You mean the stabbing?
Have you always lived in Derby by the way? I moved here for work about three years ago and can't wait to get out. It wasn't that bad when I first moved but it's gone rapidly down hill, all these beggars popped up out of nowhere.
>tfw will never be an FBI agent, walking up to a crime scene and telling the fat policeman "this is our case now"
You have been muted for 2 seconds because your waifu is too spooky
>I was under the impression that none sent pictures with the CV because it can give a bad first impression
True, don't do it.
The tables tend to leave lots of wasted space in some places and lots of cramped information in others. Do what you like but every company I recruited for preferred a standard word doc with normal paragraphs. Justifying the paragraphs makes it look neat enough.
Fair enough mate, cheers for the advice
if it makes u feel any better I got a D in maths and mostly C's, no B's or A's in any GCSE
and all I have is a BTEC Level 3 in IT which is pretty useless I think
work experience is a sweet shop for a few weeks and that's it, depressing
you're miles ahead in what you've got qualification wise, Idk how old you are though
I'm 21 mate. I realised halfway through As levels that I wasn't cut out for it. I tried desperately for an apprenticeship but came across as a sniveling nervous little shit the first time around.
I completed my A2s and then managed to get into a vocational course where they payed me and they found me a job. Now that job is making me redundant
I Probably could have done much better in my A levels if my mum and step-dad didn't make me work two part time jobs through sixthform so I was always tired and unmotivated to study.
I think I got really lucky desu
Just picked up my antidepressants wahey
Going to rewatch K-ON for the eighth time tonight.
If she existed it would solve every problem in my life.
>tfw the only reason I get up any more is to go on britfeel.
Hallo fellow robots. I've started thinking to move to the UK because I'm startung to lose my mind in the this third world shithole (Italy). I've got a CS degree but went full NEET due to lack of decent paid working positions and Aspergers which cripples my social life. Welfare here is a total mess and doesn't cover my condition.
Is it worth to come there and become a loyal servant of Her Majesty?
>inb4 not intended to live on english welfare
Actually the weather for me it's fine. I've got some problem with sensorial overload and hot temperatures (due to AS). I actually enjoy a lot cloudy and rainy days.
Regarding the job: IT.
I have extense knowledge in networking, network security and server management.
Also I can code efficiently in c++ and c#.
Also learning ruby.
Why does she have to be so damn cute?
>Tfw getting nostalgic over the elections last year for some reason
Your education really brings down the CV, especially the A levels. I'd make the whole section smaller. Instead of listing each D individually, just say 4 D A level. Shit like that.
Bring up your employment history and make it bigger. Talk more about what skills you picked up and used while working.
please eat something friend
wait, what's your height/weight? Don't go overboard on those things.
Oomuro-ke is actually a decent spinoff it turns out
>tfw people are nice to Tilde~
Waifu and her friend
'Billy no mates' must be the most hurtful thing people say, even when they don't mean it.
My dad used to call me 'Billy no mates' EVERY DAY because I would always go to play football by myself.
I snapped one day
I then started running around the house screaching loudly and kicking the ball as hard at his plate collections as I could while yelling 'DADDY SMASHED PLATES'
He grabbed me and smacked the shit out of me
I was 23 at the time
I deserved it but it was his fault.
i woke up at 3am today and havent been to sleep since
ive been happier, more motivated, laughed a lot and basically had no anxiety at all compared to most days
think my brain just cant over think when it's rundown
wish i could feel like this all the time though
When I was 11 and playing football with my neighbours and their dad on the cul-de-sac the Dad called me "shirley" saying "surely not" whenever I got the ball. Fucking cunt.
When I was 24 me and my Dad had a tussle and he punched me 4 times in the face and it didn't hurt at all then I grabbed hold of him and controlled his arms, he couldn't move. Since then he has been much kinder to me. He's the old man now and I am the strong one.
I'll be here every day. All you have to do is reach out to me.
hmm im curious about where you served your time as your CV reads very similar to mine and the number of companies still manufacturing that kind of kit in the UK is pretty limited
>cold the last few days
>progressively turn up my storage heater so it stores more heat overnight
>set it on max last night
>now it's about 10 degrees outside
>heater is the temperature of a volcano with no way to turn it off or dissipate the heat
Literally can't cope living on my own and having to deal with things like heating a flat or buying food.
Stay in your parents' house and be a leech, britbots.
>Ah, soup in a cup. All I need now is a kiss in a tube, a wank in a packet
Watching some classic Peep Show lads
>How does it 'store' it without just cooling down?
Insulation and a high thermal capacity, of course it does leak a bit.
>getting a roommate
Last thing I need in my flat is some normie bringing his girlfriend around and fucking her all hours of the day and night and playing loud music.
>How does it 'store' it without just cooling down?
>Insulation and a high thermal capacity, of course it does leak a bit.
What the fuck. No, it's just a big battery that draw electricity at night when the rate is cheaper and then uses that power to heat up. It's not a giant thermos flask you dumbass.
>Last thing I need in my flat is some normie bringing his girlfriend around and fucking her all hours of the day and night and playing loud music.
I had to deal with this for two years, fucking horrible since we'd been nerdy nogf losers together for two years before that.
>What the fuck. No, it's just a big battery that draw electricity at night when the rate is cheaper and then uses that power to heat up
You believe it stores electrical energy and uses that to power a heating element? Might want to look into that, anon.
pull one apart - they are just full of clay bricks which are used to store the heat.
A little, it's mainly sakurako and her sisters. They're just shorts though and you can find it online easily so if you like YY you might as well have a flick through.
You're all just trying to trick me. I know she's still alive. She'll love me again some day.
Who did you side with lads?
And it better not be Minutemen.
Fatilde holding one of his "diet pills"
I chose the destroy ending. Anything else was a Reaper trick.
"If this was the olden days I'd be rich."
Thanks, but you probably live somewhere awful like London or Sunderland anyway.
British Fighting Federation, I'll post the roster or you guys in a moment. The debut show will be here in a couple of hours. You won't want to miss it, apparently OP Image Guy 2k15 is defending his title against OP image Guy 2k16
It's Britfeel's wrestling fed
Exoskeletal genetic mutants, not even once.
Here is the roster
>OP Image Guy 2015
>The Diabetes Kid
>Machine Operator Anon
>McDonald's Anxiety anon
>Militant Jamaican Muslim
>OP Image Guy 2016
">Civil Engineer" anon
>Manchester Suicide Pact
>Brummy Weed Anon
Chairman of The Board:
Never Gets out Of Bed Anon
>The Nation of Isalmification (Militant Jamaican Muslim, Gym Paki, Fight anon)
>The Weebs (Waifu anons)
>The Wageslaves (Machine Operator Anon & Lobbyist Anon)
>Outside Fear (Agorphobia Anon & McDonald's Anxiety anon)
BBC Champion (Best of Britfeel Champion)
>OP Image Guy 2015
Banterweight Title Champion
>The Diabetes Kid
BUM Champions (Best United Men)
I guess she does have plenty of experience
I know one way to solve this.
I want to make some dinner, but I can't because my dad's made himself a fry up, eaten half of it before even leaving the kitchen, and decided he needs to make himself another half to make up for that fact.
I'm worried he's trapped himself in an endless loop of consume, cook, consume, etc. Hopefull the finite amount of eggs should prevent this.
Poleaboo went to family event today, a birthday, walking through the town he noticed more white people than brown. Absolutely revolting, if a brown person walked through a white area (don't know why they'd want to as they're all shitholes) then they'd be assaulted.
Walking back home, he noticed a friend from high school
>the friend initiated
>he had a gold tooth, poleaboo commented
>his voice is deeper now, poleaboo joked his balls finally dropped (turns out he got married and lives in Birmingham now)
>the friend is graduating this July from uni due to his run ins with the law
>twice arrested for sexual assault, jailed the second time
>poleaboo said he had graduated last year and is looking for work
>asked for his number
>didn't know it off the top of his head, wasn't carrying his phone
>gave him the number of the most recent phone to be taken by the pigs
Fuck, should drop my his parents place or something once the phone from the solicitor gets here
Later that night, Poleaboo met a nice young man off Grindr.
>tells him he likes polish men
>man says he is polish
>arrives at Poleaboos place
>he is actually slovakian
>but he's quite friendly and dominant
>sucks him off anyway
ITS STILL OVERPRICED AS SHIT
>housemate leaves shit all over kitchen
>housemate cleans the whole kitchen today
>acting high and mighty giving everyone else shit for not cleaning his crap
>"always me who does the work" attitude
People are shit.
How does this work
When does it start
Where does it take place
>being this insecure
You are an embarrassment to all western civilisation.
Anyway, the best pizza you can get in a hurry is the 4 pound ones from Asda.
Chinese is superior to both.
Poleaboo is a big fan of John Cena and his rippling sexy physique. Given the choice between getting fucked by John Cena or getting fucked by a burly Polish man, he would give serious consideration to Cena.
This place is only ever positive on weekdays in the daytime, weekends especially people just vomit bile all over each other the whole time. I guess the average age drops a bit or something. It's not even a wagie/neet thing, the workers during weekdays are all pleasant as well.
If there were a way to measure and quantify people being shitty to each other maybe we'd have some interesting data about these threads.
Poleaboo does genuinely believe Cena is superior to that whiny bitch Punk in every way
>more good feuds
>more good matches
>more diverse range of promos
>actually creative, didn't need to steal catchphrases
Punk is such a cuck, he's even writing comics about Batista
Poleaboo is pro-tilde if he was forced to pick a side
truly pleb. 2D waifus are for dweebs
>the camera pans around a sold out crowd at the ASDA Carpark
'SHOUT ANON AT RINGSIDE HERE WELCOME TO BFF FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS AND WHAT A SHOW WE'VE GOT LINED UP FOR YOU HERE MATES...'
'FUCK ME IT'S THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON HERE TO KICK OFF THE SHOW FOR US, I WONDER WHAT THIS FAT NEET HAS TO SAY'
>NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON rolls to ring side on his mobile bed and down the ramp, the ropes are undone and the Chairman rolls into the ring on a special disability ramp set up after the BFF itself was sued for discrimination against people with weight problems by not providing a way for them to enter the ring
>NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON is handed a microphone
>he stops to take a bite of the Dominoes pizza laid next to him
As we all know 2015 was a big year for all of you Britfeelers
>crowd starts cheering 'LET'S GO BRITFEEL'
Well I can tell you 2016 is going to be even bigger, which is why I am out here tonight to announce a match to decide who will lead this quality organisation through this new year... that's right tonight right here at the ASDA Carpark in Rotherham OP IMAGE GUY 2015 will be defending his BBC belt against the number one contender.... OP IMAGE GUY 2016!!!'
>OP IMAGE GUY 2016's music hits to some boos from the crowd
>OP IMAGE GUY 2016 makes his way down to the ring and picks up a microphone
'Why thank you NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON for this fantastic oppurtiunity to further myself and my career...
>crowd beings to chant 'YOU CAN'T PHOTOSHOP'
SHUT THE THE HELL UP... you people should be thankful I even bother to show up to entertain you... as I was saying...'
>suddenly music hits cutting of OP IMAGE GUY 2K16
'FUCK LADS WHO IS THIS INTERUPTING THE #1 CONTENDER AND THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD'
>a bespectacled middle eastern 'man' appears at the top of the ramp
'FUCKING HELL IT'S POLEABOO I THOUGHT THIS WEIRD CUNT GOT NICKED'
>Poleaboo makes his way to the ring and picks up a microphone
>he attempts to speak but the crowd are chanting over him
>'FREAK, FREAK, FREAK, FREAK'
'Enough!!... NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON how can you lay there and tell me this guy is the #1 contender for the BBC title, he doesn't even like BBCs'
>Never Gets out of Bed Anon
'Poleaboo... I don't think BBC title stands for what you think it stands for... And you know as well as I do you had your shot at the title but were stripped of the oppurtiunity after some 'gross misconduct' involving normies'
>Crowd cheers and begins again to chant 'FREAK FREAK FREAK'
' No! You are just the same as the normies! You are just the same as the police! Why are you victimising Poleaboo? Poleaboo is the greatest prospect in the BFF but because others hate him, for no fault of his own, now you and these fans...
>FREAK FREAK FREAK
...now you are going to persecute Poleaboo too? This is not right! Poleaboo deserves a title shot!'
>Never Gets out of Bed Anon
'Look mate, I decide who gets the title shots around here, and it isn't you, it is this lad right here OP IMAGE GUY 2K16... so could you please get the hell out of my ring'
I think it would be difficult to prove the algorithm was measuring what you wanted it to measure.
I'm sure it's possible to make an overall happy and friendly post containing all of those phrases.
>Poleaboo looks furious as he stares at NGOOBA and then towards the crowd
>he turns around to leave the ring dropping the microphone
>FREAK FREAK FREAK FREAK rings out around the arena
>Poleabbo begins to climb out of the ring, but then stops, spins around and charges at Never Gets out Of Bed Anon pulling furiously at his bed sheets
>NGOOBA grabs a hold of his sheets, his Dominoes is tossed all over the ring in the struggle 'Bloody hell lad calm down, OP Image Guy 2k16 do something for fucks sake!'
>OP Image Guy 2k16 charges Poleaboo and begins laying into him with right hands
>NGOOB anon shouts for security 'WE NEED SOME BOUNCERS DOWN HERE GET HIM OUT LADS'
>Poleaboo and OP Image Guy 2k16 are exchanging blows in the middle of the ring when security rushes in and grabs Poleaboo, dragging him out of the ring and backstage
>Poleaboo can be heard shouting out as he is carried from the stage 'I WANT JUSTICE!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!'
>Cut to adverts.
'ALRIGHT BOYS WELCOME BACK TO BFF FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS BROUGHT TO YOU BY OUR SPONSOR 'MR PAKI'S NEWS & OFF LICSENSE' SHOPPING ANYWHERE ELSE WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY HARAM! NEXT UP FOR YOU THE BUM TITLES ARE ON THE LINE AS THE NUMBER #1 CONTENDERS OUTSIDE FEAR CHALLENGE OUR CHAMPIONS THE WAGESLAVES'
>making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 28 stone your BFF BUM champions Machine Operator Anon & Lobbyist Anon THE WAAGESLAAVES~
'WELL HERE THEY COME TWO UP AND COMING FORCES IN BFF THEY WORK HARD AND ARE VERY PROUD OF THAT FACT SOMETIMES GUYS BACKSTAGE DON'T LIKE IT BUT AS LONG AS THEY'VE GOT THAT GOLD THEY WON'T MIND'
>introducing the challengers, from their mother's basements, McDonald's Anxiety Anon and Agoraphobia Anon... McDonald's Anxiety Anon and Agoraphobia Anon...~
'WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE THESE IDIOTS?!'
>The Wageslaves look at each other confusedly in the ring
>on the titantron we see the camera cut to backstage
>McDonald's Anxiety Anon is stood wearing his fedora and trench coat with a McDonald's milkshake in one hand his Nokia 3310 mobile phone held to his ear in the other
>'What do you mean you're still at home...? I know you have social anxiety so do I, I thought we were working through this... we have a title shot tonight and I even managed to stop at McDonald's to pick up a milkshake on the way here, admittedly I walked through the drive thru pretending to be a car to avoid going inside but that's not easy for me'
>he looks up and sees the camera
>'Fuck, I gotta go bye' McDonald's anxiety anon locks his phone and puts it into his trenchcoat pocket then waddles towards the camera putting his hands in front of the lens
>'S-stop filming me m-mate... that's it I'm g-going home I'm d-d-one here'
>McDonald's Anxiety Anon hurriedly lurches into the distance sipping his Strawberry milkshake as he fumbles away
'WELL WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE TWO MEANT TO DO NOW'
>The Wageslaves stand in the ring looking bemused towards the titantron as they try to make sense of what they have just seen
>suddenly both men are hit from behind by two gentlemen of Arab descent who knock them to the ground and start stomping them into separate corners of the ring
'SHIT ME LADS THAT LOOKS LIKE FIGHT ANON AND GYM PAKI FROM THE NATION OF ISLAMIFICATION! WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE?!'
>Machine Operator Anon starts to fight back against Gym Paki but as he begins to mount an offensive Fight Anon pulls a spanner from his tracksuit bottoms and hits Machine Operator Anon from behind
>Fight Anon then grabs Lobbyist Anon by his head in the center of the ring while Gym Paki grabs his legs and they perform the Allah's Guillotine DDT
>With The Wageslaves laid out in the ring and Gym Paki and Fight Anon standing tall (well as tall as 5'7 can be in Gym Paki's case) music begins to play
>a Jamaican man wearing a turban appears at the top of the ramp and strolls towards the ring with a serious look on his face
'BLOODY HELL IT'S THAT DAFT BUGGER JAMAICAN MILITNT MUSLIM, THE LEADER OF THE NATION OF ISLAMIFCATION'
>Jamaican Militant Muslim observes the work of The Nation in the ring and then picks up a microphone to a chorus of boos
>'PAKIS OUT, PAKIS OUT, PAKIS OUT'
'Shut up your rasicsts! I am here to deliver a message, a message from the all powerful Allah so you must listen...
>FUCK OFF ALLAH, FUCK OFF ALLAH, FUCK OFF ALLAH
You shall not disrespect almighty Allah!!... You see we have come to this ring today and done what none of these other NEETs backstage could, we beat up BUM champions The Wageslaves. You know why we did it? Because The Wageslaves go to work every day to pay taxes in order to finance the genocide of our Muslim brothers across the world by your corrupt government. But this is just the beginning. This is a Jihad, first we will take The Wageslaves gold and then we shall conquer all who stand in the path of the great Allah!
>All of The Nation begin to shout
'ALLAH AKBAR ALLAH AKBAR ALLAH AKBAR'
>they then fall to their knees and prey to Mecca
>cut to adverts
'WECLMOE BACK TO FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS THEY WERE SOME DISTURBING SCENES THERE AND THEY WERE BROUGHT TO YOU BY OUR SPONSORS 'ARBRAKEBABRA' MAKING KEBABS MAGICAL.'
'NEXT UP HERE TONIGHT WE'VE GOT ANOTHER TITLE MATCH AS ANGRY ANON LOOKS TO TAKE THE BANTERWEIGHT TITLE FROM THE CHAMPION THE DIABETES KID'
>Introducing first the challenger, making his was to the ring straight from his shift at Poundland, AnnnnnngryAnon
>Angryanon marches to the ring looking furious shouting at the crowd on the way to the ring
'I WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE THE DIABETES KID RIGHT NOW IT LOOKS LIKE ANGRYANON'S BOSS WAS YELLING AT HIM AGAIN TODAY AT WORK'
>And the Banterweight Champion, from The Sweet Aisle at Tesco's, THE DIABETES KIIIIIID
>Diabetes Kid runs to the ring
>Angryanon wastes no time and opens up on Diabetes Kid as soon as he is in the ring, the bell rings
>Angryanon opens up with some early offence clothes lining TDK to the ground repeatedly
>LET'S GO DIABETES the crowd chant as they try to get behind their hero
>Angryanon Irish whips TDK into the ropes but TDK comes back at him with a flying elbow to the face as the crowd begin to make noise
>TDK hits multiple drop kicks, a sweeping leg take down and then begins to arm drag Angryanon from one side of the ring to the other
>Angryanon quickly rebounds to his feet after a fourth arm drag and charges at TDK in the opposite corner of the ring attempting a clothesline
>TDK gets out of the way and Angryanon smashes face first into the turnbuckle
>As Angryanon turns around dazed TDK hits a massive round house kick to the side of Angryanon's head
>DIABETES! DIABETES! DIABETES! The crowd chant
>The Diabetes Kid does his signature taunt as he mimics opening up a can of coke and downing it, much to the delight of the crowd
>while Diabetes Kid has lost focus Angryanon has gotten back to his feet looking enraged, he begins punching himself in the head and screaming 'REEEEEEE' in an autistic fit of rage
>when TDK turns around Angryanon hits him with a massive spear and then proceeds to climb the top rope
'IT LOOKS LIKE ANGRYANON IS GOING FOR HIS SIGNATURE FLYING HEADBUTT HERE, SOME SAY THE REPEATED USE OF THIS MOVE IS WHAT ORIGINALLY LED TO HIS BRAIN DAMAGE, BUT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE HE WAS BORN RETARDED'
'WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S POET ANON'S THEME SONG, ANGRYANON'S ARCH NEMESIS, WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!'
>The fans go wild for Poet Anon as he stands at the top of the ramp smiling, Angryanon is perched on the top rope still and turns to look at Poet Anon screaming expletives in his direction
'Angryanon, his face as red as a beet
his boss at Poundland has him rushed off his feet
so he came to the BFF to earn himself respect
but the fans all saw through him, he is still a reject'
>The crowd go crazy for Poet Anon's poem and begin chanting 'REJECT, REJECT, REJECT' towards Angryanon who is furious with them he can be heard screaming 'I'M NOT A REJECT I'M SUCCESSFUL YOU FUCKING RAGGLE MELTS'
>As he is distracted TDK gets back to his feet and rushes up to the top rope to join Angryanon, he punches Angryanon in the head then places it between his legs, performing a Pepsi Plunge from the top rope
>1....2....3..... AND HERE'S YOUR WINNER AND STILL BANTERWEIGHT CHAMPION THE DIABETES KID
>Angryanon lays beat in the ring starring furiously but dazed up at Poet Anon who is grinning smugly at the top of the ramp
>Cut to adverts
'THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AGAIN ON BFFS FLAGSHIP SHOW FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS, NEXT UP IT IS THE MATCH EVERYONE WAS BEEN WAITING FOR THE BBC TITLE MATCH OP IMAGE GUY 2K16 VS THE CHAMPION OP IMAGE GUY 2K15'
>Camera cuts to backstage where OP Image Guy 2k15 is being interviewed by Tilde, the crowd cheer loudly as OP Image Guy 2k15 appears on screen
'OP Image Guy 2k15 you put your BBC on the line tonight against OP Image Guy 2k16, are you at all worried this could be the end for you and OP Image Guy 2k16 could be the future?'
OP Image Guy 2k15
'U wot m8...
U wot m8...
I SAID U WOT M8
Tilde you wanna stand there with your Pokemon card collection, your eating disorder, your sister's jeans and you want to ask OP Image Guy 2k15, a BFF icon, a national treasure, an ass whoopin machine if he is worried...?
Let me tell you something it doesn't matter who it is who steps into that ring I will be walking out with my BBC title. OP Image Guy 2k16 has got photoshop skills
I said he's got photoshop skills
I said he's got Photoshop skills
But is that going to be enough when the original OP Image Guy 2k15 is whooping his ass all over the ASDA Carpark Arena? EHHH UHHHHHH. So you can bring your brick wall, you can bring your anime window, you can bring your swastika grafiti, it ain't gunna matter because tonight OP Image Guy 2k15 is walking out of here BFF BBC champion and you are going home in a Rotherham ambulance... AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE... Because OP Image Guy 2k15 said so...'
'STRONG WORDS THERE FROM OP IMAGE GUY 2K15, HOW WILL OP IMAGE GUY 2K16 REACT? WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT'
>Making his way to the ring, the challenger, OP Image Guy 2k16
>OP Image guy 2k16 confidently makes his way to the ring and awaits his opponent~
>And the BBC Champion, the East Anglia Garden Snake, OP IMAGE GUY TWO THOUSAAAND FIFTEEEN
'THE CROWD ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL FOR OP IMAGE GUY 2K15'
>OP Image Guy 2k15 storms down to the ring and climbs each turnbuckle in turn before turning the face his opponent
>the bell sounds and the two OP Image Guys lock up in the middle of the ring
>2k15 gets the better of 2k16 and applies a headlock before 2k15 counters with an elbow to the ribs and plants a DDT
>2k16 stomps on 2k15 but 2k15 gets back to his feet and begins to fight back much to the delight of the crowd
>2k15 performs an irish whip into a back body drop
>2k15 continues the assault with a series of suplexes before throwing 2k16 into the turnbuckle and hitting a big splash
>2k16 falls to the matt and rolls out of the ring for a breather
>2k15 looks to the crowd and makes his signature photography taunt
>2k16 rolls back into the ring
>in his desperation 2k16 has picked up a Chinese cartoon figure from outside the ring and attempts to nail OP Image Guy 2k15 with it
>OP Image Guy 2k15 sees the attack coming just in time and is able to duck, countering with a kick to the gut and then hitting his signature Photofinish
'BLOODY HELL PHOTOFINSH PHOTOFINISH PHOTOFINISH!!!'
>OP Image Guy 2k15 hooks the leg
>OP Image Guy 2k15 begins to celebrate in the ring with his title but his music is cut short and a face appears on the titantron
>it is Poleaboo
'Hahaha, just as Poleaboo thought OP Image Guy 2k16 wasn't good enough to get the job done. But do you know who would be? Poleaboo, but due to the victim blaming culture of this organisation I am not provided a shot. Well, if I can't go for the BBC champion, then I'll just have to make the BBC Champion come for me...
>Poleaboo backs away from the camera to reveal a house behind him and a set of keys in his hand
Recognise this OP Image Guy 2k15? That's right it is your house...
>Poleaboo enters and heads straight for the kitchen, he opens the fridge and begins pissing in OP Image Guy 2K15's milk
'WHAT THE HELL THIS IS JUST SICK WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WEIRD PRICK'
>'Fuck sake I just bought that milk and my bennies don't come through til next week' OP Image Guy 2k15 can be heard shouting
>Poleaboo laughs and continues to maruad around OP Image Guy 2K15's kitchen pissing all over the place
>OP Image Guy 2k15 jumps from the ring and begins to run backstage as the camera fades out
Well that's all for tonight lads, tune in next week to see what happens between OP Image Guy 2k15 and Poleaboo, who The Nation of Islamification will target next and where The Weebs fit into all of this.
Hope you enjoyed the show
I don't think I've ever actually watched a wrestling match (unless you count playing WWE smackdown on PS1) and I still think it's fucking hilarious. The theme songs alone are inspired.
>'Fuck sake I just bought that milk and my bennies don't come through til next week'
>well as tall as 5'7 can be in Gym Paki's case
>OUR SPONSOR 'MR PAKI'S NEWS & OFF LICSENSE' SHOPPING ANYWHERE ELSE WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY HARAM!
Unironically highlight of my weekend so far desu.
I defo enjoyed it mate, obvs there's some twats whining but you know if you didn't do it they'd just be moodily refreshing and wondering why nobody was posting.
If we don't get to see Poleaboo torn to shreds by a horde of angry sweaty weeaboos next week then I will cry, a lot.
Complainers need to remember that
SHE'S A LITTLE WILD AND SHE'S READY TO GO GO GO!
Original comments will not stop me, no no no!
Lads I've been out of the country for a week on holiday.
Someone bring me up to speed on /britfeel/ and general UK news. Has anything interesting happened? I don't like feeling out of the loop.
A man in York who was found not guilty of rape after a woman who consented subsequently falsely accused him now has to give the police 24hrs notice of him having sex, or he could get 5 years in prison
More swerves than Vince Russo
I fuckin love it
>heel is about to win legitimately
>face distracts him and causes him to lose
bro do you even book
>That's fine. We will box it up and get a price from the post office for sending this to you. Unfortunately you will have to place us in funds before we can send it to you or if you prefer we can hold on to it in our offices until you are back here for court
fuckin glorious lad
can't wait for next week's ep
Fight me right now, I will defend her honour
Going to start rewatching K-ON for the 8th time and then watch some Ghibli films later and maybe Haruhi
Who else /comfyanime/
>tfw the episode where it's after the school festival
I can't imagine the feels will be lessened even on the 8th rewatch.
She appears in Season 2 briefly but her main arc is in Owarimonogatari, very spooky
I should say 24 is worse, after the other girls go to all that trouble writing a song for Azusa only for her to tell them it's not very good.
>You're not very good, but I want to her more. Encore
>Implying that wasn't literally the best line in the entire series that perfectly summed up the tone of the anime and brought it back full circle to what Yui said in the beginning
After watching so much Sopranos it's hard not to imagine Winnie the Pooh sounding like Tony
>tfw I'm talking to a guy and he's hot and might be into me
>tfw he lives in Ireland
Why do I have to feel this pain, lads
Anyone got to the point where you can't get high anymore?
I'm thinking of taking a month off but I've being smoking everyday for 4 years and am pretty much to bored out of my head all day anyway
>tfw no yolandi gf
actually thinking getting one myself. My dad's a big time Land Rover man and always had them until my mum made him get rid of it when I was a little kid.
The fucker will never spend any time with me again if I don't get frankly and I need a car just to tick the box to get laid before wizardhood.
>classic Land Rover in blue for sale near me
>didn't have the money at the time
>hadn't passed my test
>no one would lend me the money
>now I've passed my test
>have the money
>car sold ages ago
For fucks sake
Bit of advice bro;
You want to streamline your C.V. as much as possible. You probably don't need home and mobile number. Just give the mobile. You don't need to mention your qualifications in the first section of your about me - that's why you have education section (I'd rename it qualifications as some of the things you list aren't educational, or at least have 2 categories).
Considering how strongly your passion for making shit is listed, I'd try to be a little more specific and mention more examples of individual equipment you've fixed/assembled/maintained.
Your A level results are shit, but technically you have A levels in all those things. I've never known employers to query your grades so I'd recommend either lying about them, or changing your format so it works to your advantage. Simply saying you've got A levels in those subjects states the qualification without having to mention the shit grades. Regardless, I'd say bin the table off and try and consolidate it.
Get rid of the hobbies/interests sections. You're not 15 looking for a job out of school with nothing else to say about yourself. It contributes nothing.
Lastly, just say that references are available on request. You don't need to put all their details on the bottom of your C.V. where any cretin can get them.
>Looking at the documents and stuff that came with my meds
>Other side effects: Suicidal ideation
The fact that even when I die I will still almost certainly not be with her terrifies me
It all depends on how long and how frequently you've been doing it. You'll definitely be able to get high again after a month, but you won't be able to get out of your mind on an 8th like when you first started, got to take a while longer for that.
>Want to apply for JSA and go to college
>My brother (lives at same address) is currently on it but is getting mad and going to quit because he didn't fill out the job search thing for a couple of days and they're saying he could lose his JSA so now he's gonna stop going out of anger anyway (yeah..).
My question is will this affect me at all?
Day 28 of sobriety, frequent exercise and healthy food. Almost lost a stone already lads.
>only gonna motherfukkin make it lads
Some anon told me to try listening to Carly Rae Jepsen's newest album a few threads back and I thought I might as well because it couldn't hurt.
Now I can't stop listening to all of her stuff. Fuck.
Fun fact, in French "to pay" is "payer" but if you are saying "I pay" you are meant to spell it "je paie". However so many young people spell it wrong that the french basically accept "je paye" now even though its technically wrong.
That's fair mate I went a few times but I quickly realised it was just
>let's go to nightclub because that's the thing to do
>can't we just go the pub then come home and play FIFA m8s
>no mate Stacey is going to be there we have to go
>go to nightclub
>wait in line for half an hour to get in
>get in wait half an hour to get served while Stacey walks to the front of the line and gets served instantly
>get to front of the line and get ignored because pervy Pete barman wants to serve Stacy
>eventually get a drink
>everyone is walking around taking selfies of themselves and uploading them to Facebook
>no one getting drunk
>no one even dancing
>literally just walking around and taking selfies so everyone can see they were at the nightclub with Stacey
>into the trash it goes
>go home and get drunk by myself posting on the chans and listening to music I like
Did it two or three times, never again mate.
Thats why you go to gay clubs.
The only club I still go to is this place called Polo, me and a bunch of fairly close friends go, get smashed off of 1.50 drinks then dance to cringely awful pop music. So much better than going to a straight club with a bunch of nonces in polo shirts with shit house music and girls desperately looking for you to buy them free drinks.
to be fair, if you know the language "paie" is just being awkwardly irregular. Its not because of immigrants, its because "paye" makes more sense since it follows the regular rule for verbs ending -ER.
how does an aspergers diagnosis work?
like, is it a condition you have physically, or just a series of ways you act?
i feel like i have the mindset of an autist but i've learned tricks that stop people catching on. like in the symptoms it'll say sometimes autists come up and talk about their interests when nobody cares. i used to do that until i was quite far through high-school, until the other kids telling me to shut the fuck up penetrated my head, and then i realized they'd stop making fun of me if i stopped talking, so i stayed quiet. i also learned stock phrases that most people use to talk, so to most people i probably come across as a quiet person with no interests.
but i don't know whether it's that i'm boring and have nothing wrong with me, or if i'm a sperg undercover.
i think the original point was to ask, if i say that to a doctor and try to say how i act in social situations, if i say i'd do the 'right thing' but get to it by accident/rote learning instead of by actual social skill, would they see that as being normal-but-unusual, or as aspergers/autism?
France literally has an organisation dedicated to creating new french words and protecting the french language. When it comes to language they're the least beta.
They literally ran ads making fun of people who use English terms in their french.
>tfw you get mad props from everywhere you post online but have no irl friends and no irl talents, skills or abilities
It really is. Plus the types of girl there are usually a bit more fun/hipsterish than the plastic stacies of a straight club. Literally my favourite spot to try and pick up girls.
If you're completely honest with them im confident they would see the underlying issue, granted its there. Typical diagnosis is done by symptoms exhibited, or a series of ways you act as you said, but science is showing there are neurological abnormalities as well (though typically not used). Though i cant really tell you if you're are just "boring" or have the aforementioned condition without more information.
I dunno mates never been to a gay club before but I went to a 'Bear Bar' once and it was full of fat hairy gay blokes sitting quietly, I ordered a Guinness sat at the bar tried to look at people to make conversation but everyone just looked at me as if to say 'this cunt isn't really gay... is he..?' then my gay mate who I was there with started rubbing his boner on my leg then my manlet straight mate got bored line sexually assaulted by a 6'4 Nigerian.
Wasn't bad but was a little odd.
Maybe if we call you shit then you'll become popular irl?
>autists come up and talk about their interests when nobody cares. i used to do that until i was quite far through high-school, until the other kids telling me to shut the fuck up penetrated my head, and then i realized they'd stop making fun of me if i stopped talking, so i stayed quiet.
amazing, i went through the exact same thing.
Oi if that anon who was on here chatting about buying a house is still here, don't buy the fucking house, the world economy is about to shit bricks like it is 2008 so hold out or your ass is going to be in some negative equity
>house prices go up all the time
Yearly that is mostly true in this country and wages don't rise anywhere near close to how house prices do, which is why we are being thrown into the abyss, but if I could point you to this very interesting piece of information
2008-2010 house prices did not steadily climb as they had in the past, if you bought a house in Q4 2007 you were fucked with your equity hardcore compared to someone who bought in even 2012. So keep your money in your pocket, wait for this inevitable crash which is coming within the next two quarters and take advantage afterwards
One of the problems is that the majority of people who vote are homeowners, so if as the gov you can swing a 14% rise in house prices during your term you are literally guaranteed to stay in power. I believe this is why immigration on an industrial scale takes place in the UK. If you have less people there is less people who need houses, if the borders were to be closed and it was left to middle class people the population would stagnate, which is bad for business and bad for a government trying to maintain power.
As you say it is of course not sustainable because the way things are going now I see in at most 50 years time not underclass, working class, middle class, upper middle class. I don't see any of that existing. I see two distinct classes. Those who own property and those who do not. Those who are born as property holders will reap the rewards of the current trajectory, while everyone who doesn't will simply be wageslaves to use the term, working to pay the mortgages of the property holders.
But that's just a theory. A britfeel theory.
Going to make up for it tomorrow night, there's a place in the next town over that does a "Phatboy" Cheeseburger, 3 patties and cheese for 3.90.
You'll know what a mistake you've made as soon as it lands, but it's exactly what you want to see after a heavy session.