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Cats are the women of pets.
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 152
Thread images: 33
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>constantly moody and tempermental
>don't care about you at all, fake the minimum amount of affection to get at your resources
>vain, most of their time spent awake is devoted to their appearance
>have nothing to offer besides that appearance
>dumb as a sack of potatoes, but somehow society's gotten it into its head that they're intelligent
>no concept of love, honor, friendship, or loyalty
>pampered their entire lives and don't have to do anything in return besides exist
Pic related, it's my dumb cat.
>>
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>>25672608
>constantly moody and tempermental
Lol what?
>don't care about you at all, fake the minimum amount of affection to get at your resources
I know, but it's a fair trade.
>vain, most of their time spent awake is devoted to their appearance
And they're cute.
>have nothing to offer besides that appearance
They're cute and soft.
>dumb as a sack of potatoes, but somehow society's gotten it into its head that they're intelligent
It's a cat. It can't do math.
>no concept of love, honor, friendship, or loyalty
My cat's pretty loyal to the idea of getting on my desk when I'm playing competitive.
>pampered their entire lives and don't have to do anything in return besides exist
That's why I have him, so he sits there and keeps me company.
I don't have any pictures of him since I have no reason to.
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>>25672763
>They're cute and soft.
I belive that's a part of their appearance, or no?

>My cat's pretty loyal to the idea of getting on my desk when I'm playing competitive.
How is that loyal exactly? It wants your attention, nothing more.
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>>25672763
jesus , you are fucking disgusting.
>>
>>25672763
And here come the whiteknight Redditors. Right on cue.
>>
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And that's why dogs are mans best friend over cats and women prefer cats to dogs, traits and personalities just click better.
>>
Cat brains, compared to dog brains, more resemble the structure of the human brain
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>>25672889
He is whiteknighting cats? Did you even read the post?
>>
>>25673231
Redditors pls leave.
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>>25672608
Every villain needs a cat. You can't accomplish this look with a dog as your minion. Dogs are good people.
>>
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Cats are robot master race
>Understands peace and quiet
>Doesn't suck up to it's master like a wage slave to his boss or any other higher status normie
>Knows love is an illusion, and doesn't fake further promises, both you and it get what you want
>Only treats people like shit when they do
>Doesn't need constant attention, looks after itself if left be like a robot instead of a crying normie whore
>Light frame, not a massive stinking wretch that smells out the entire house even when bathed
>BARK BARK BARK BARK
>Smug
>>
>>25672608

Actually cats are very loyal and will hunt for you (or try to) and get worried when you are ill. In my experience anyway.

It's not the cats fault we don't eat bugs and mice and small birds.

From a pure utility perspective they still excel as pest protectors.
>>
>>25673516
>someone calls you out on being retarded
>better call reddit!
>>
>>25673725
Typical Reddit response. Exactly what I'd expect from a cat-sympathizer.
>>
why come here and try to make people mad?

everyone has a preference and it's all subjective. get over it

what a hair-brained bait thread
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>>25673717
And here we go with the whiteknights.
Kys reddit
>>
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>>25673717
Fuck you, you whiteknight
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>>25673746
I don't even like cats tho. It's cute how hard you are trying to fit in here.
>>
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WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
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>>25672763
>Catcucks
>>
>>25673873
>doesnt make a counter argument
>c-c-cuck! cuck! xDD

very, very poor
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>>25673891
Reddit pls go

redditbloxx
>>
>>25673891
>Acts like a cuck
>Gets called out for it
>Gets defensive
Don't you have beta bux to throw at your cat?
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>>25672608
Tiny pigs are the way to go
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>>25673840
>Cat having agency
>Bad thing

Look at this fucking redditor cuck.
>>
>>25673612

cats are the best

except when they start urinating all over your walls and scratching your furniture

then they're just smelly dogs without any of the dog benefits
>>
>>25673918
i just showed up to this thread
>>25673909
r-r-reddit! reddit!

i have never browsed reddit and i love cats. how does that make you feel?
>>
>>25672608

Women does not kill mice, they just scream
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>>25673949
Makes me feel pity for you catcuck.
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>>25673855
>if I say he's trying to fit in, maybe no one will notice that it is actually me who is trying to fit in!
Brilliant plan, Reddit. I hope the pussy is worth it.
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>>25673980
how am i a cuck? ive had sex with 5 women, and i lift a lot, and could most certainly mop the floor with your ass, kek
>>
The worst thing about cats is hair. My dad owns two of then and there's cat hair every where. In the clothes, the food, the air, shit's fucking disgusting.
>>
>>25673840

They don't understand the concept of being told to do something.

They still communicate intelligently, like asking me to open doors or gesturing for me to lower my back so they can use me as a springboard.
>>
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>not preferring snakes as pets

Snakes are loyal, friendly, and make for great protectors. Nothing beats playing video games with your pet snake curled around your neck.
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>>25674057
My nigga, snakes are top tier guys, they're so chill and like to climb all over you
>>
>>25674054

I have however taught my cat the meaning of "sit" (as in, sit here until I come back with food), "rest" (let's stop playing for a while) and of course "food" but that's rather obvious. And "shrimp".

The only "natural" verbal communication methods I've been able to replicate with cats is basically hissing and that short purr that cats do when they approach you unaware - if you don't do that to them too in return you'll startle them.
>>
>>25674057
Snakes are literally tumblr: the pet.
>look at how cool and alternative I am! I'm not like all the other pets!

Kill yourself.
>>
>>25674000
top kek not even him but you sure are insecure, the only thing you will need wiping your own tears the moment you realize you are a cuck.
>>
>>25672608
>wake up
>cat is right next to me
>lay hand on it
>it purrs
yeah nah
>>
>>25674602
>wake up
>start eating out the roastie whore lying next to me like the good, obedient little bitch boy that I am
>she moans
Yeah, you sure showed us!
>>
this has been the same poster on this board ALL fucking day long trying to force a "robots hate cats" meme, but in reality, dogs are the normie pets.

dogs need 10x more maintenance than cats, more expensive food, they stink (dont wash themselves like cats do), dribble and chew everything when they don't get their way, they only like alpha humans (this is scientifically proven) and you cant really have one if youre a NEET anyway.

cats are quite suited to robots in some ways but really you could do much better for a pet, like a lizard, snake, or a tortoise. any reptile really. just not the ones which take a lot of maintenance.
>>
>>25673891
Tbh fampai, I like cats but they're definitely kind of a cuck pet.
>I love cats because they a strong independent who don't need no owner, I like cats because I RESPECT them, teehee
Like you cucks are giving deference to a stupid little animal. Pretty damn cuck imo, if nothing else.
>>
I love cats as much as I love dogs.

I used to have a cat who slept on my bed every night and would only hang around me. Cats are nice pets. Dogs are good, but are too needy. Especially the Maltese/ Shi tzu dogs. Separation anxiety as soon as the master leaves the room
>>
>>25675062
Man but dogs are not completely worthless. They provide security. They're a useful tool for preventing thiefs to break in.
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>>25674324
Reptiles arent even alternative anymore.
>>
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>>25675062
You're real cool man, how was high school today?
Did Rick give you a hard time again?
>>
>>25675118
Yet another whiteknight cuck
>>
>>25675275
Not at all. I'd prefer to own a cat and a dog.
>>
>>25674324
god loI
>>
one aspect I think is interesting that I've only seen one other person comment on are the roles that dogs and cats play in the lives of humans and how they act as an analogy for human relationships, romantic or otherwise. The (perhaps not traditional or even readily apparent, but blindingly obvious once you think about it) mythology goes that women like cats because they are mysterious and aloof, but also soft and inviting, which is why the bitter old single woman always lives in a house alone surrounded by cats. A catlady. Men like dogs because they are loyal to a fault but formally masculine; women are defined by their non-loyalty. If you wanted to be meanspirited about it you could go along with a common taunt that men who like cats are feminine and women who like dogs are dykes. Thus each animal acts as a semi-complete version of the ideal mate of the opposite sex, a sort of replacement for what that froggy fuck Lacan would call the objet petit a and that coked up maniac Zizek would call "the fetish object".

TLDR if you're a grown man and you own a cat you're a submissive feminine faggot
>>
>>25675522
>Small furry killing machines
>Feminine
>>
>edgy thread for edgelords
>>
>>25675522
>Implying my cat isn't a hard ass motherfucker that bites the ears off other neighbourhood cats
>Implying it doesn't put my dog in it's place, and beats the shit out of any dog that tried fucking with it like my sister's dumb ass Jack Russel
>>
>>25675546
Did you flip your feather boa as you typed out that post fairyboy

>and here are my fabulous CCAAATTTSSSSSSSSSSS
>>
>>25673891
You are speaking as if there was some argument to "counter" to begin with
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>>25675199
Dogs are the best security you can get being poor. It's not flawless but you can sleep in peace when there's a huge german sheperd guarding your yard.
Now small dogs like poodles are even worse than cats. At least cats kill mice and bugs.
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>>25675522

>dog
>masculine

My cat used to boss my am staff/pit mix around and had him scared to go down the stairs. Cats are tough as fuck, that's why they easily thrive alone in the streets.
>>
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>>25675589
The only animal I own is a gecko though
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>>25674324
Bet my pet python could eat your sorry ass, you fat sack of crap.
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>>25675729
No it couldnt
Dont be an internet tough guy.

I'm not him. You're just a fag
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Cat owners are the biggest cucks of all time

>Haha, my cat is such an asshole! Look at this picture of him sitting somewhere he's not supposed to!

>spend thousands of dollars on something that does nothing but hide and sleep, never do anything entertaining

If I'm ever alone in a room with a cat I start flicking it on its nose or pinching its paws. I hate cats and I love to see them in pain. Anyone have any good links to cat torture vids? I'm looking for the one where Luka Magnotta drowned the kittens in a tub.
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>>25675656
your hot anecdote is duly noted

because after all it's always the tiny cat chasing after the big dog in every cartoon and every form of media ever and in real life
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>>25672608
>only time they give you attention is when you dont care about them
>>
>>25675791

>media

Of course that's what they want you to think goy...
>>
>>25672608
Cats won't abandon you and steal all of your money, and they'll at least be unironically affectionate.

All they ask is food and free reign to sleep wherever in your house they please, and they'll be adorable.

Cats >>>> women.
>>
my cat is like a clingy girlfriend

>constantly wants my love and affection
>eats until he throws up
>wakes me up at night for cuddles
>I can't do anything without him interrupting me for my attention
>kind of retarded
>shits in my bath tub when he's mad at me
>>
It's pretty true.

I love my cat but she's just like a woman.

I think the difference that makes cats tolerable is that you are allowed to treat them like children, which you should also do with women. You can't actually treat women like children these days, so they run rampant and try to redesign society for their stupid cat brains.
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>cat owners
>people who literally allow parasites to invade their brain
>>
>>25675790
My cats a wonderful bundle of joy, I even spend autismbux money on him.

So if you have a job then you automatically put money towards making my cat comfy.
>>
my cat growls at people who come near me, she's feircely loyal, but then again i saved her ass from freezing death so she knows who is king shit around here
>>
Pets are just fucking slaves. They're a high-class texture pad to enjoy. I find it amusing and comforting to pet a soft, fluffy kitty. There is no attachment there. It is literally my toy, which is why I will choke it when I get bored or angry.
>>
Cats are pretty much inferior to dogs in every single way relationship-wise. Even cat owners know this. Atleast the ones who aren't in denial
>>
all meming aside, if you want your cat to actually be nice to you, keep it as a house cat. dont let it outside.
my cat thinks im a god because im the only person hes ever saw, and he doesnt know anything other than the confides of my NEETshelter.
he doesnt have the asshole attitude of an outdoor cat.
>>
>>25676201
>Dogs
>Usually too heavy to cuddle
>Drool all over the place
>Can't shit in a box
>HORRIBLE FUR GOD DAMN IT'S THE WORST FUR IMAGINABLE EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL HAS BETTER FUR QUALITY
>Smell like shit and actually need YOU to bathe them regularly
>Fucking noisy and even if you claim they're loyal or protective, they'll betray you for a slab of meat.

At least cats make better cuddle-buddies and don't die after ten years.
>>
>>25676151
"that feel when no gf whaaa nobody likes me whaaaa why do they ALWAYS PICK CHAD???"
>>
>>25672608
Threads like these are fucking stupid, nobody who's sane gives a single shit what pet you own, you fucking turd. But if you're going to a chinese fire truck board to whine about it, you know you have a problem, and you should probably do something else with your life
>>
>>25676201
dogs
>have to walk them
>they're hard to train
>eat more than cats
>smell bad
>need more attention than I want to give
>respond to your energy like a mirror so when you're angry, so are they

cats
>clean themselves
>shit in a box and can be trained to use a toilet
>cost very little
>require very little attention
>are available for cuddles
>when you feel like crap they come out of the shadows and lay on your lap purring, licking you like they want to groom the sadness away from you
>>
Dogfags should be put to death. They're almost as annoying as the shitty animals they put on a pedestal.
>>
>dogfags think their pets are loyal
>will literally eat you if they die and can't get any source of food
real loyal
>>
Cats are actually pretty good robot pets.Especially if you`re poor.They`re sociopathic fucks that can easily get attached to you if only you live with them.They`re fairly low-maintenance.And they tend to be adorable and fluffy as fuck,without exceptions almost.There are literally no downsides.
>>
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>all these plebs who hate cats
LMAO at ur lyfe
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>>25676562
>cuckold logic
>>
>>25676583
>wanting a nigger's pet
Cuck
>>
>>25676600
>wanting to serve your pet
>being your pet's pet
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this says it all.
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>>25676600
>wanting a pet that doesn't listen to you, doesn't respect you, doesn't work to gain your love, doesn't value you, and will walk all over you just because you let him
Beta cuckold bitchboii.
>>
>>25676084

Sometimes I crush up aspirin and mix it with tuna and leave it out

and in the morning, it's gone

:^)
>>
>>25676617
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/07/29/cuckolding-the-sex-fetish-for-intellectuals.html
>>
>>25676600
Dogs often hate blacks. I don't know why, but they do.
>>
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>>25673871
W-woof... woof..
>>
>>25676562
>>25676617
>implying your taste in pets is better than Howard Lovecraft and Samuel Clemens'
>implying Lovecraft is a cuck
GTFO plskthx and stay GTFO
>>
>>25676611
>>25676622
>wanting a clingy pet
>being so devoid of intelligence that you need to see emotion instead of just receiving it
Almost Swed type cuckry
>>25676687
Because we train lesser beings to fight lesser beings
>>
>>25676722
>not wanting unconditional love
>not wanting the feeling of being loved once before you die
I pity you anon
>>
>>25672608
>>constantly moody and tempermental
>>don't care about you at all, fake the minimum amount of affection to get at your resources

But my hat is happy and friendly 100% of the time.

It is a fat shit that loves its food though.
>>
>>25676725
Go serve your master already.
>>
Every male cat owner I have ever come into contact with was a weak effeminate beta, while most male dog owners I know are alpha. That's pretty much all you need to know to figure it out.
>>
cats are the smug pepe of pets

they just waltz around like sluts and get whatever they want meow meow meow
>>
>>25672608
FUCK YOU GUYS CATS ARE LOVE
you are so lucky you have a cat OP
I can't have a cat due to certain circumstances, all I have ever wanted was a furry feline companion that I could pamper with affection and tell my feelings to when I'm sad

Alls I can do is go to the local shelter and play with the cats there, but I just want to shitpost with a cat in my lap

FUCK YOU
>>
>>25672608
my cat loves me

just like women, not all cats are bad
>>
>>25676246
>Dogs
>Usually too heavy to cuddle
If even a Chihuahua is too heavy for you skeleton fuck...
>Can't shit in a box
boohooo I have to go outside
>HORRIBLE FUR GOD DAMN IT'S THE WORST FUR IMAGINABLE EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL HAS BETTER FUR QUALITY
so many different breeds with different fur out there
>Smell like shit and actually need YOU to bathe them regularly
we never washed our dog, only when he drooled in cowshit. Sissy faggot
>Fucking noisy and even if you claim they're loyal or protective, they'll betray you for a slab of meat.
You have to train a dog dumbass, that's actually what makes it so superior, when it's trained properly
>>
>>25676833
>loves
He tolerates you because you feed him. He wants your attention because he wants someone to pet him for his own pleasure.
>>
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endal

Truly the pet for the chosen people.
>>
>>25676833
>just like women, not all cats are bad

inexperienced beta detected

and mumbling to your mom as you shuffle through he kitchen doesn't count as experience with women anon
>>
>stop feeding cat
runs away, never comes back

>stop feeding dog
stays by your side until death from starvation
>>
>>25673855
Another anon here. Reddit, i must say, please leave.
>>
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>>25672763
>constantly moody and tempermental
Lol what?
>don't care about you at all, fake the minimum amount of affection to get at your resources
I know, but it's a fair trade.
>vain, most of their time spent awake is devoted to their appearance
And they're cute.
>have nothing to offer besides that appearance
They're cute and soft.
>dumb as a sack of potatoes, but somehow society's gotten it into its head that they're intelligent
It's a woman. It can't do math.
>no concept of love, honor, friendship, or loyalty
My gf's pretty loyal to the idea of getting on my dick when I'm playing competitive.
>pampered their entire lives and don't have to do anything in return besides exist
That's why I have her, so she sits there and keeps me company.
I don't have any pictures of her since I have no reason to.
>>
>>25672889
Lol, what the fuck are you talking about? Do you know what a whiteknight is idiot?
>>
>all these toxoplasmosis victims

You'd have to be driven by a parasite to put up with their shit, first they lure you in with their cuteness, then they treat you like a beta and you love it.
>>
>>25673612
>looks after itself if left be
>NEET

That's not how it works, anon-kun...
>>
>>25673717
This. If your can has never brought you a dead animal, it means it doesn't love you.
>>
>getting bossed around by a little hissing sociopath that lives in your house rent free and fucks off when it's not hungry and would leave the moment you stop feeding it

cat owners literal betacucks
>>
>>25676639
He doesn't want your dodgy tuna, only the best for mr bigglesworth ( :
>>
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>>25676246
>not owning a qt lap-dog with silky fur
>>
>>25676429
>MUH BAD ENERGY

Holy shit, catfags really are women.
>>
>>25676639
Topkek
Comment not original (so fucking annoying)
>>
>>25676496
I would rather my dog eat me than die. Better my lump of flesh save the dog I love rather than just rotting uselessly.

>implying catfags can logic
>>
>>25677206
That's not funny, cats are one of gods creatures.
>>
Cats are intelligent af.
They don't bark like retards and slobber all over everything.
They're so poised and regal.
They're loyal, affectionate, and they groom and entertain themselves.
Fuck you, my cat's awesome
>>
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>>25674130
Are you that one faggot that a avatarfags with Ed?
>>
>>25676562
>personification and projection this strong

That same can be said for rat, turtle or fish. It's as bad as women who think their pet snake can feel love.
>>
>>25676600
Hitler himself was a dog-fag, faget.
>>
>>25676687
Blackbot with 4 cats here
Get fucked
Dogs are racist desu
>>
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>>25676871
>Owner unconscious
>Pulls him into recovery position
>Covers him with blanket
>Grabs his phone
>Runs into nearby hotel
>Also can work ATM

Holy shit!
>>
>snake people
Literally worse than pet rock people
>>
>>25675790
Briefly looked at the pic and thought you are the grand autismo guy that comes on pets threads all the time, what a disappointment
>>
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>>25678311
>shifting on based pet rock
>>
>>25678438
He was in here earlier and got banned :)
>>25675062
>>
>>25678534
>shitting

i really gotta get a new I'm tired of phone posting
>>
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>>25678578
>new computer

god fucking damn it
>>
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>Have a qt cat I raised since day one
>Almost died but I raised it like a son, even gave him baby bottles n shit
>He sleeps with me almost everyday
>Purrs when I wake up
>I can play fetch with him
>I like him, he likes me

I wish women were like cats, all you have to do is be good to them and they like you.
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>>25672608
Op, is your cat my cat? I hate this asshole.
>>
Does anyone have the comic where two people in a thread try to bait one another by purposely being retarded but eventually become genuinely mad at one another 500+ posts later?
>>
>>25672970
Dogs are always trying to love you and to get affection from you, even if you don't give a shit about them.

I guess they define most men very well, especially towards women.
>>
>>25674057
>>25674130

Snakes spend their whole day staring with their dead eyes at a wall waiting for you to give them a prey to murder, you snake owner autists are the worst.

Only mammals and a few birds are capable of affection and real connection with others.
>>
>>25678717
>Purrs when I wake up

Purring is the sound a cat makes as it's stalking / hunting prey. He's not happy to see you in the sense that he loves you, he's happy to see you in the sense that he's plotting your demise

It's only a matter of time before he kills you famiglia
>>
>>25676617
I hate pit bull owners, they put other people's lives at risk because they want to masturbate to their dogs' muscles.
>>
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>>25676762
>Loving dogs make me alpha

sure thing buddy
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>>25678826
Confirmed for knowing nothing
I have 4 kittens and ik when they're hunting or being affectionate.
Purring is qt af.
Cats don't make any sounds when hunting, you dumb fuck.
>>
>>25678438
>>25678552

Sorry, catcucks, that's not me :^)

Go back to your overgrown rats you pathetic nu-males.
>>
>>25672608
XDD WOW SHOWING YOU CAT THE FINGER SO FUNNY AND RANDUM XXDDDDD
>>
>>25678735
Seconding this.

bloxox
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>tfw your mom is one of those crazy cat ladies and you live with her

I swear half her salary go on these cats
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Awooooo!!!!
Pups are better!
>>
>25672608
>constantly moody and tempermental
I think you might be abusing your cat if this is happening. Get help lowlife. Only people mistreating their animals are sick, low-iq, losers.
>don't care about you at all, fake the minimum amount of affection to get at your resources
Sure, but you can leave for a week of vacation and it takes care of itself if it has food. That is a pretty good deal, compared to the dogowners who can't go anywhere.
>vain, most of their time spent awake is devoted to their appearance
Have you even tried playing with your cat? Put some catnip on a thread with a small ribbon of newspaper. The cat is probably bored. You're supposed to like doing these things, that is what it means to have a cat.
>have nothing to offer besides that appearance
Relaxing purr noises, welcome comitee when you get home, I liked the way my cat was in my room when I was afraid of the dark etc.
>dumb as a sack of potatoes, but somehow society's gotten it into its head that they're intelligent
They're good at what they're supposed to be good at. But this one I agree is over rated.
>no concept of love, honor, friendship, or loyalty
Not true, cats can have anxiety from being abandoned by their owners for just short periods of time.
>pampered their entire lives and don't have to do anything in return besides exist
Many cats gets put down or abandoned when their primary caretaker moves out of the house.
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>>25668393

start throwing bricks at them like this anon
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>>25676893
Kek dogs are fucking retarded
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>>25673612
This is a good caturday theme. I'll think about it this weekend, when I'm off work.
>>
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>>25679136
>tfw no Momiji gf to playfully bite and growl at you
>you will never rub her cute little ears
>you will never get licked by her
>you will never try your best to maintain composure when she goes into heat
>>
>towel or rug on the floor in the house
>it gets pissed on
>clothes or shoes/house shoes on the ground
>it gets puked on
>furniture existing anywhere in the house
>it gets clawed up
Getting attached to my cat was one of the biggest mistake of my life.
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I love both to be quite frank with you
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>>25672763
its funny because all you did was further reinforce OPs points
i dont even know if you did it ironically or not
>>
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pets? hehehe
oh yes I have plenty of pets, plenty of roaches that scurry about at my whim.
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