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ITT: Gym class stories
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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ITT: Gym class stories

> Have to go outside to play baseball
> Gym teacher announces Captians
> It's always Chad
> Chad starts picking team members
> Get picked second to last
> The kid who got picked last was the autistic kid
> My turn to bat
> For some reason there are no strikes, you keep batting until you hit
> Miss the first swing, then the second, then the third...
> Everyone is watching
> Miss the 5th swing
> "lol anon you suck"
> Finally hit it on the 7th swing
> Awkwardly powerwalk to base because you really don't know the rules
>7th swing
I don't think you were playing baseball, anon
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>Don't like any of the sports
>Friends and I just slack off as much as we can talking without catching gym teacher's eye
>We're both always picked last and basically in the reject team
>But suddenly
>Its fucking badminton son holy shit
>Game faces
>We're try hard as fuck and my friend and I are always at the top placed court in the winning order
>Go back to being lazy after a month when its the next sport
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no one replies to your post
so you create a thread about it?
I can do you one better
>sophomore year in hs
>played hockey until the end of freshman year so I'm reasonably athletic
>even so I'm specifically awful at baseball and basketball
>we're playing baseball this day in class
>we're using regular sized bat and a tennis ball
>my turn
>strike one
>strike two
>s-strike three
>fat lesbian(not memeing here) gym teacher decides to give me another shot
>but beforehand she decides to come up to me from behind, tell me how to hold the bat (I had already been holding it correctly), puts her hands on top of mine, boobs pressed against my back, the whole fucking nine yards
>entire class is stiffling laughter
>strike four, I'm out
>next day
>teacher brings in a tennis racket this time, says we're using it instead of an actual bat this time
This isn't all, the cherry on top
>my oneitis was in the class
>tfw convinced everyone was always aiming for my head no matter what sport we were playing

fuck off op
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>playing basketball indoors
>as usual the chads are picking teams
>surprisingly not picked dead last about 5th from last
>its not that bad
>get distracted by shit weather outside
>basketballs thrown at the back of my head
>"oi anon, catch" a second after it hit me by a teammate
>hear laughing but just dismiss it for not focusing on the game
>10 minutes into the game ball is thrown my way again
>this time its thrown like a dodgeball in my direction by the same guy who told me to catch it
>hits me right in the face as I try to catch it
>in pain and with a bloody as fuck nose
>P.E teacher says "get back in the game, how are you going to do rugby next month?"
>guys laughing and mocking me
>get pissed over it knowing he was the type of prick to do that on purporse
>pick up basketball and chuck it right into his chest
>hits him and stumbles him down
>he's coughing violently
>"anon what the fuck was that?" "that's out of order you prick" "calm down mate"
>P.E teacher is shouting and sends me out to headteachers office
>get suspended for 2 weeks for assault
School was great.
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>naturally good at sports
>one of the best in school at gym class
>really ugly so girls have always hated me and kept me from being popular
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>junior high
>playing kickball after it rained
>my turn to kick the ball
>get soaked
>everybody laughs including the girls I liked
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Honestly I can't remember a single thing about "gym class" in high school or middle school last time i had one of those was my freshmen year because you only had to take one your entire time there. And my freshmen year was 2006. Seriously, the last gym class I had was a fucking decade ago.
>outside playing some gay ass form on kickball
>big tit girl in kicking line behind me
>both at the end of the line
>constantly been flirting with me all period
>ask teacher to go in to use da bafroom
>girl follows
>don't notice she's following until I'm in gym hall
>starts making out with me
>still gotta piss
>rubs boner through jeans
>go into bathroom
>tell her I'll be outside in a bit
>piss the best fucking piss of my god damn life
>go outside
>suddenly suck at kickball
>everybody laughs when I miss the ball
>smile at them
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>legbeard, in highschool weights and aerobics class
>lifted weights seriously only twice a week, class was mostly aerobics with light lifting
>one day we had to do the Pussycat Dolls workout dvd
>teacher literally gave us feather boas to use with the routine like on the video
>boy's gym was going on at the exact same time, right next to us all doing it
>they ran laps and wolf-whistled the entire time while we shook our asses with those stupid fucking boas

pic related, exact workout I did
cringe so hard remembering it my face hurts
>tfw you'll never use one of those butt-scooters again
>tfw you'll never experience the magic and that feeling of inclusion when you played with the big rainbow parachute
>tfw you'll never play kickball on the playground, included despite not being popular, just experiencing that innocence of play
>basketbal in class
>im your garden variety social pariah nerd so im a team deject
>good for me my autism permits me to throw balls with pitpoint precision from almost anywhere
>become team winning device
>go from 'social pariah nerd' to 'kind ot cool nerd dude'

Too bad chad, could be any other sport, but not this one.
>10ish years ago
>basketball 8th grade
>im on the team, i was 6'1
>first picked
>do my first 2 hand slam dunk and everyone freaks
>today was a good day
Holy fuck I remember times like that.

>playing football on the astroturf
>girls would run laps around said astroturf as warm up before playing netball or whatever shit the girls did
>P.E teacher is surprised when suddenly none of the boys pay attention and lazily kick the ball around whilst staring at said fitties running around.
I for one, actually liked those P.E sessions
Bumparoo for robot stories
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>be big muscular weightlifting edge lord
>just want to hang out with my edgy stoner/metal head friends doing nothing
>always one of the first picked for games in gym class
>complete shit at everything so I always let my team down
>they keep picking me first anyways because muscles
>playing Dodgeball
>Chad is team captain
>"I pick everyone except Anon"
Are you me? I had the exact same
Not for me buddo
>Gym class, all guys, 12th grade of highschool
>teacher is sick so we have a sub
>she doesn't know what we should do so everyone is just doing there own thing in the gym
>i ask her for the keys to open the locker
>gym locker has all the balls, hockey nets, etc.
>i just start fucking around digging through random ass cupboards that we never went in before
>walk out of the locker yelling
>"Holy fuck guys you will never guessed what i found"
>Pull out the two giant parachutes
>Whole class just starts fucking with the parachutes
>putting dodgeballs on them and bouncing them around
>girls gym class walks by the gym and see's us
>they all fucking come in and are super jealous of our parachutes
>we dont fucking share, fuck them these are our parachutes

This was the first day any of us even saw the parachutes at our school, it was a fucking awesome day we never had a great time and smiled like that ever. All of the chads, normies, robots, and retards played together.

It was a good day that day.
The only sport I was decent at was swimming and I've thought about starting swimming again just cause it'd be good exercise but I can't imagine going and not spilling all sorts of spaghetti and looking retarded.
Apart from that I got picked as the pitcher in rounders (shitty baseball) because I'm so bad at throwing it was tough to try hit what I pitched.
I recommend it senpai, I do it every monday, wednesday and friday. I think it's been the main factor in beating depression desu fa.m
>be senior in PE class full of freshman
>sitting outside for roll call
>freshman girl asks me why my arms are so skinny for a boy
>oh um i don't know

curse my parents for forcing me to run cross country and not letting me lift
>was really good in hockey, basketball and baseball
>still picked at the end because no friends
>Uncommunicative and extremely uncoordinated
>Terrible at ball sports and team sports
>playing football in PE
>stand out on the side to avoid getting in the way of my teammates and getting a load of shit
>they complain that I'm not doing anything
>try to join in
>they complain that I'm too shit

Made the athletics team for high jump though, the only success I ever had in sport in my life, although my highest position ever in a competition was 6/8.
>football (soccer to Americunts) every fucking PE class
>don't see the point of chasing a ball up and down a field - still don't "get it" as an adult
>Can't be arsed tbqh, famiglia
>just stand to one side of the field being bored every game, hands in my pockets
>ball comes at me, don't even bother trying to stop it, sidestep it as it comes towards me
>everyone is pissed, even the guys on the opposing team
>don't even care, guy tries to push me around on the way back to the changing room
>toe kick him in balls with my football boots on
>he goes to hospital and has to have a testicle amputated
>get suspended for 2 weeks for assault

I never understood how this was a punishment. Two weeks of vidya all day and not having to deal with Chad & Co.
Bongland confirmed. There are so many really violent fucks in what are considered "average" English schools sometimes.
when i got suspended my parents made me go volunteer at one of their friend's work
>playing rounders (basically what the English P.E. teachers call baseball)
>it's some autistic kids turn to bat
>he keeps missing
>gets in to an angry crying fit of rage and throws the bat away
>teacher shouts "right, if you're all going to be like this, we're playing "non-competitive rounders"!
>now, no matter whether you hit or not, you have to run past every base and back to the batting line
>the fielders just have to stand there
>the pitcher just has to throw balls
>we do this for about half a hour
>teacher shouting shit like "well this is fun, isn't it!" every few minutes
>lesson finally ends
>"is everyone excited for non-competitive football tomorrow?"

like i get it's probably really annoying to be a p.e. teacher with kids who can't do shit but still
>when i got suspended my parents made me go volunteer at one of their friend's work

I got suspended twice and it was awesome - just played on my PC all day.
no stories here.. teacher picked our teams thankfully and I just tried to stay of the way. I tried my best at easy shit and for american football or swimming I just skipped. Still pretty embarrasing so I took weights as a sophomore which was pretty cool besides having a partner rather than being alone. Didn't make any gains though. yeah my life is pretty boring.
>suck at sport
>get put on team with good people
>everyone is really angry and everything is happening so fast
>lose the team a point
>looks of anger and disappointment from everyone
It hurts ;_;
tell yew wat kiddos. you tell your future kids when in highschool to find the most popular kid and just walk up to him and slug him right in the jaw and then just walk away. best advice you ever get regarding social order of life and shit, find the guy everyone likes and you deck him squarely in front of his gang, the more the better
holy shit this, Badminton is honestly the only sport I've actually really enjoyed playing
and also maybe Ping Pong
>only had to take one your entire time there
fuck me, I hated my school, I had to take 3
seriously fuck those guys I just wanted to do math classes, I was great at math.
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>Go up to bat
>"Easy out!" shouts Chad
>Fucking cream the ball on literally the first swing
Get fucked, Chad.
>playing some game with bean bags
>someone gets a bean bag flung at their head
>I start laughing my ass off
>don't notice a bean bag flying my way
>hits me right in the balls
>I fall to the ground, unable to stop laughing
I wasn't even mad.

>be me short (5'5 guy) and unathletic
>playing soccer.
>made to be defense.
>spend most of the game bored.
>suddently without noticing the ball is kicked towards me.
>6'5 chad runs towards me.
>try to kick the ball but misses his foot hits me right in the balls.
W-Was it the teacher anon?
>any sport like kick ball or softball
>chad on the opposite team would always laugh and tell everyone to move up
>realize that they were making fun of me literally 6 years after high school
>have to go to gym classes
>tell my mom I hate it
>she always writes me excuses why I don't have to come
>always do stupid shit in my freetime that tends to break my bones or whatever
>never have to go anyways
Gym classes were fucking awful.

As I got older and switched schools I just asked my teacher if I and the other guys who are not interested in the stuff the majority wants to do, are allowed to do their own thing in the other hall.

Best fucking time, always having 2 hours in the morning on wednesdays and 2 on mondays afternoon to stone and drink some beer with the other losers.
>playing basketball
>was full invisible mode in middle school
>nobody noticed me steal the ball
>due to being a freakishly tall kid, make a dunk every time I got the ball
>over half the points in the game
>gym teacher seeing me showing up his pet jocks and starts making up reasons why my scores didn't count
>ends up banning me for traveling even though my feet didn't move after taking the ball
>pet jocks
I hate when teachers get pets. The teacher for my speech class was the chick in charge of school plays and such, so her little theater cronies got a shit ton of leeway.
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Similar happened to me

>playing basketball in PE
>I used to be decent at it
>score as many points as Chad
>Chad gets an A and I get a C
>according to the coach I wasn't a teamplayer

>gym teacher seeing me showing up his pet jocks and starts making up reasons why my scores didn't count


>>Chad gets an A and I get a C
>>according to the coach I wasn't a teamplayer

kek great to see chad gym teachers getting butthurt.
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God damn this is an amazing feel

>Playing 5vs5 football (soccer)
>"I'll mark anon haha" - Chad
>Get ball for the first time
>Fucking slide it between Chads legs so smooth
>He almost falls over trying to save face and catch up with me

Did he make up a bullshit excuse afterwords ? Also if you're not a chad how did you get good at football ?
>implying your grade for sports was in any way relevant
A-am I your friend you're talking about? Me and my friend used to do this all throughout middle school and high school

It's not about the grade - I like knowing that someone pissed off a dumb jock gym teacher enough that he has to try and make an excuse about why his favorite jock kids lost.
OP is that St Luke's?
With the exception of ball sports, I actually liked gym. I was very uncoordinated but great at stamina sports like running, and, uh, jogging.
Indeed, its mainly just full of council estate cunts who act hard threatening old ladies outside corner shops.
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That's so fucking heartwarming bro
>Freshman year
>Have to do warm up exercises before class started
>Stand up to do the bullshit
>Gym coach walks behind me and says "Sup Ugly"
>Being an extremely clever 14 year old I retort "That's not what your mom calls me"
>The whole time I'm doing the warm up he's standing next to me
>I shoo him away like a dog
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>big rainbow parachute
I loved playing in that thing. My primary school used to do a play day, where older students would set up activities all over the school for the younger ones. Imagine that world festival episode from any anime and it was like that.

Anyways that would always be a thing you could go do. It was my favorite.
I didn't mean to post that picture, but I suppose it's too late now.
lmao, rekt

What an asshole gym coach though.
are you me, anon?

>tfw you'll never prove your worth in dodgeball ever again
I top kek very lol
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>be junior
>gym teacher is an over the top Chad baseball coach
>me and 3 autistic friends all placed in the same class
>get kicked out regularly for not participating
>come up with a plan to troll teacher
>ever time we do laps and run by him we all laugh hysterically
>he notices and lines us up on a wall to belittle us while everyone watches
>someone throws a rubber ball at the back of his head
>he turns around to try to catch who did it
>we're not in trouble any more
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>sit on the corner
>watch the others playing like a cuck
Wtf. I am with my people at long last. I fucking love badminton
>playing dodgeball in 5th grade before they banned it
>play a dodgy supportive role
>end of the game its me against three proto-jocks
>they pelt me with three balls all once
>catch two between my arms
>third one hits my chest one second later
>bring back the two aces of my team since I caught two balls
>gym teacher decides no and that I'm out
Badminton is so incredibility easy which is why we were so good at it.

Totally kicked everyone's fucking asses at archery every year too, fell like I should buy my own bow for fucks.
What the fuck man, I was really good at badminton too. Me and my retard friend teamed up. We made it all the way to grand finals of our gym class tournament and our opponent was Chad + a weird girl he was probably fucking. I noticed that he was doing all of the work so I told my retard friend to just spike it to her side of the court hard every time, and it worked so well. We crushed him. Chad saw what we were doing and got so fucking pissed that he smashed his badminton racket on the ground and broke it in half and then cussed us out while we were laughing so hard.

High school badminton... those were the glory days. It's the only sport I was ever really good at.
What the fuck? Was he blind? Or did he really want the proto-jocks to beat the nerd?
I'm guessing he couldn't handle the nerd making such a good move and showing up his pet jocks. Gym teachers are all aged jocks so they have immense favoritism.
Only old chads become PE/gym teachers so I would wager yes
I've got another
>In gym
>Free time
>I don't feel like doing anything so I just sit and chill near the door
>Same gym coach makes fun of how skinny I am
>Walks up to me followed by his league of ass kissers
>Pretends to hold a camera and says "Look at this, have starving children in our town. Won't you please donate?"
>His ass kissers lose their shit
>I reply "I'd eat more if I didn't have this fear of becoming as fat as you"
>My friends are laughing and so are his ass kissers
>He turns his attention to his ass kissers
>be 8th grade
>can't wait to get the fuck out of middle school
>PE teachers assign us a project
>we have to make a dance routine
>basically we have to choose a song and do fitness moves to it
>get stuck in a group with an autist and two nig nogs
>choose some random ass normie song
>most of our routine is leg workouts
>we never practice it until the day of the performance
>starts off pretty well
>not even 2 minutes in, legs feel like they have to be amputated
>my shoe starts to get untied
>trip and fall on my face
>autist accidentally squats on my face
>entire class laughing
>get back up, try to finish
>oh lord jesus, take me right now
>how can this get any worse
>the song was playing off of my phone
>next song is an animu song
>starts blaring on the gym speakers
>run and unplug it all while getting weird stares from chads and stacys
>never look anybody in the eye again the entire year
>He turns his attention to his ass kissers

What did he do to them ? Just lose his shit ?
try living in chadstralia
I was always that Autistic kid who was picked last...
I think he tried to insult them to but my friends and I walked off before I heard what he actually said.
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>9th grade gym
>last class of the day
>20 minutes of mandatory participation warmups and stretches followed by an hour of whatever random sports
>am fat loner and just go sit by myself somewhere and wait for class to be over
>real tired 1 day
>fall asleep up against a tree
>wake up nearly 3 hours after school is over
>have to walk home which took 2 more hours

worth pointing out that besides being fat I also had long hair and was often mistaken for a fat chick and they enrolled me in the girls PE class at the beginning of the year

>turning the chads against each other.
>his ass kissers probably got worried once they released they laughed at the coach.


That's pretty funny.
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>be loner fat kid
>play hockey for 9 years as a big boi defenceman
>nobody in school ever suspected a thing, i slacked off all year
>finally play floor hockey in gym
>normies running scared from my wicked hard shots
>schools goalie pads too thin to keep tiny plastic puck from hurting
>smack chads shins every time he tries to stop my sick dekes
>never picked last for anything again
>tfw lanklet
>tfw always picked early
>tfw suck at anything athletic and always would let the team captain down
Feels bad, man.

>played for 9 years
>thinks he's not a Chad/thinks he's not a normie
i made no friends and weighed 300 pounds. the only thing i was good at was running small chinese kids into corners and crushing them with my girth.
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Something similar happened to me
>No matter the sport I always make it my mission to never directly get involved
>Playing basketball
>Don't catch the ball at when it's passed to me
>Everyone is pissed because I'm not doing anything
>Asshole on the team gets the bright idea to throw the ball at my head
>Shouts "Heads up, Anon!"
>I see it coming and dodge that shit like a nigga dodging child support
>The ball hits a girl sitting on the bleachers
>She ends hitting her on the next row of the bleacher gets knocked out
>After this he becomes disliked
>The girls boyfriend was a Tyrone and kicks the dude's ass like 3 days later
I kind of felt bad for the girl since I didn't know she was behind me, she was also really nice to me
>i made no friends

Shrug you're still decent at a sport I wish I had that growing up. You're basically a jock.


>the only thing i was good at was running small chinese kids into corners and crushing them with my girth.

Chinese kids play hockey ??? Isn't like a white thing ?
i was pretty bad at it compared to the rest of my team, the only benefit was nobody in my gym class played it. even my minor skill with puck handling was enough to make the football chads mad

>i was pretty bad at it compared to the rest of my team

Did you fit in on the team or where you just a loner also did people care that you were bad ?

>even my minor skill with puck handling was enough to make the football chads mad

Kek - like how mad were they embarrassed or yelled at each other while you where owning them ?
I've had a lot of run ins with this coach, I think I was the only person in my class that talked shit back to him since I hated gym and there was no real way to punish me. He couldn't take away my free time since I never did anything and he couldn't make me play anything because I would play as awful as humanly possible.
There was a kid in my PE classes called Matthew who was the undisputed king of spergs (getting a shrieky voice and suddenly going physical like a spastic is reffered to now as a matthew moment in my gang of social outcast neet friends)
Because of these he got bullied
He got bullied a lot
And you cant really have a tard wrangler help you play Physical sport can you
Shouldve probably left one to guard his stuff though, during the one hour a week of PE his clothes and belongings have found their ways into basically everywhere possible
The shower
On top of the wall near the toilet
The actual toilet
Floating in the swimming pool (I give props to who organised this as its behind three locked doors)
On the roof
In the gutter
In the bike shed
And someone stuffed both his shoes in the toilet cistern
I kinda feel for the guy
Oh, and in one of the last periods before finishing a chad actually smacked him in the face with his balls
My school was a fucking riot
i was shit and everyone on the team hated me except the 5ft2 manlet, because he was somehow even more of a loser.
You know how chads get mad and then go "fuck this shit its dumb anyways and for fags" but keep trying and getting madder? like that. it was the only good day of highschool.
Don't feel bad anon, you were never the one to throw the punch, that goes to the asshole who launched that ball and girls will get shielded to fuck/guy gets hounded after something like that, so you got off easy.
>i was shit and everyone on the team hated me except the 5ft2 manlet, because he was somehow even more of a loser.

They don't kick you off if you suck? Why did you play then ?

>You know how chads get mad and then go "fuck this shit its dumb anyways and for fags" but keep trying and getting madder? like that. it was the only good day of highschool.

That's awesome. Glad that those jocks got beat at their own game especially by someone they looked down on.
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>mfw I told the teacher that I forgot my sportswear literally every single lesson
>only participated once or twice a year
>at the end of the year beg the bitch for a D so I can pass
>she makes me do some stupid shit like run around the playing field 5 times
>did this 3 years in a row
fucking nailed it
>basketball week
>get dumb chubbo girl on my team
>constantly throws passes way offline
>still insists on running the point
>gym teacher lets her because she's a girl
>passes the ball inside with no lane for me to go in
>ball gets stolen
>she says to me
"move to the ball!"
>start rocketing passes back to her and telling her to move to the ball
>she shut up and stopped playing point guard after about 3 of those
I have a similar feel

>play and pitch on baseball team
>shit at anything that isn't hitting a ball or throwing a ball hard
>dodgeball week comes
>team starts feeding me every ball
>start pelting people
>someone complains that it hurts too much after I suicide leap over the line to murder him with the ball
>teacher switches to foam balls
>start throwing curves that almost nobody can react too
>some girl says it's not fair
>teacher makes me throw from my knees
>still dominating the game
>teacher makes me throw left handed
>become useless aside from catching throws
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>7th or 8th grade
>playing capture the flag
>have opposing team's flag
>Chad on the opposing team stops ahead of me in my path preparing to take back the flag
>instead of dodging him I run full force into him and knock him down giving me a clear path to victory
>coach tells him he should be more careful next time and congratulates me

get fucked normies
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>Playing kickball
>Switching from kicking to fielding.
>I go to 2nd base
>Fat, acne ridden girl that eats raw pickles and farts all the time wants to be 2nd base even though I was already on it.
>Stand my ground.
>She does too.
>Picklegirl: "...Are you going to rape me?"
Our gym teacher was an old woman who didn't notice anything ever so me and my friends normally say aside and did wrestling moves on each other.
>high school
>sat in the bleachers and played nintendo ds
>get an A

yeah I was that kid. coaches didn't give a fuck and used that class as their lunch break
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> tfw my best friend got hit in the head with a discus and lost a few months worth of memories
> excused from gym the rest of the year

Felt bad man.
>have to wear gym shorts which are extremely thin and show off any bulge of any sort
>get a boner while sitting in our single file lines
>PE teacher tells us hes going to have us do a couple laps around the gym
>everyone gets up
>stay in place trying to get the boner to go away
>teacher walks up
>"so you want to get a 0 on your participation today?"
>look up to him
>say nothing
>he realizes why i haven't moved
>walks away without saying anything
>continue to sit there for 5 minutes till the boner subsides
>teacher doesn't make eye contact with me for the rest of the year
i had that same thing "throw from your kness, left hand only, under hands only" bullshit

fucking beat the system by "back handing" my left handed throw which for some reason went perfectly straight everytime, and my underhands hovered above the ground and clipped fucking ankles, was dank as shit.
>in Europe PE throughout senior high
>quit my football team at 15
>forward 3 years
>haven't had to catch my breath ever since I quit football, totally out of shape
>all kinds of athletic chads in my class
>shit on all of them in both sprint and vertical jump test
>stacies in ave, chads upset
my proudest moment by far
> Gym class

That right there is awkward enough
it was a longer reply but, i feel you anon im ugly too
>high school
>always check out hot asian girl across the gym
>she wears extremely tight volleyball spandex shorts everyday
>one day she's facing me
>adjusts her shorts to itch her snatch
>see her entire hairy pussy for a brief moment

first and last time I've seen pussy irl fellas
>those dumb bitches that would stand in the corner talking while a serious dodge ball war is taking place
remove women from gym class and put them in sewing or something
> private school with small population, so entire 9th grade has PE together (~80 of us)
> some sports we did co-ed, like volleyball, others we did single-sex, like basketball
> almost always last or 23-rd to last picked in "all boys" games
> one day we played soccer, entire grade both sexes
> instead of assigning teams like they usually did with co-ed teams, they had captains pick
> watch "pickings" dwindle as I get closer and closer to last
> end up being DEAD LAST, even after all the girls including a fatty and one girl who is only 4'8" (I was 6'1").

> one of the female gym coaches was my mom's friend

> mfw I didn't even suck nearly as bad at soccer as I did at many other things
Same story here, exact same fucking story!


>Played football
>caring about Stacie's

Chad detected.
>23-rd to last

> obviously this is "2- or 3rd to last"

> you don't care anyway
its a good one

>be me in middle school gym
>am total weirdo
>not very good at sport either
>Usually just pretend to put effort or put no effort in at all at whatever we do
>next unit is excersing/running
>routine is go outside one day
>next go inside and excercise
>today inside
>total failure cant even lift 6 pounds
>feel bad cause everyone is easily hiting 10 lb's
>do exercise as told
>shit get terribly tired
>tfw whenever I get tired I also get horny
>I was always horny in general at that age but more so
>get up from doing push ups
>realize I have a half boner
>don't even hide it because fuck it im horny
>everyone is making their way to 1 made door and class was decent size
>go out last
>girl right in front of me
>lean in slightly and my dick somehow manage to clip inside butt
>this mother fucking feel
>its almost like she noticed my boner and decided to spread ass cheeks
>she closed them as soon as i clipped on
>fucking best feel ever
>only few seconds but after I put boner back
>day was usual
Nah, I was always a robot since far before this age in time.
I never had the underhand thing, once I had to throw left handed I was useless.

I wasn't allowed to pitch during wiffleball or QB during flag football either. Pissed me off.
Are you sure you're not the autistic one here?

How were you a robot ? Where you good / friendly with teammates ?
Did you even fucking read it?
ITT autists trying to act alpha while beta
Only one of them tbqh, he is more autistic than me and the goalie. Goalies are always weird. I was good though and have always had banter at lockdown, so I wasn't treated like an outcast or anything.
>playing volleyball
>hate it
>start second game
>other team is serving
>decide to have some fun and mess with everyone
>run over and catch the ball and continue running out into the hallway
>I peak back into the gym
>Half of the people are standing there with puzzled looks on their faces
>the other half are pissing themselves with laughter
>girl on my team thinks it's hilarious and gets my phone number from my sister later that day
>later in the year end up going on a trip to hawaii that the girl happened to be going on as well
>all she could talk about is how funny I was
>hang out with her a bunch
>she tries to kiss me and I get squeemish not knowing what to do
>rumor that I'm gay starts spreading when we get back
>my beta behavior caused everyone to think I was gay until I started dating someone.

What position ?

If you had a friend and were able to bant how were you robot?
fakest story i've ever read desu
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>6th grade
>We use this big-ass heavy aluminum bats
>Takes turn as catcher
>Chills behind batter occasionally picking up strikes
>Life is good
>Next batter is this huge black guy
>Hits ball
>Throws bat behind him before taking off
>Bat flies into my shin
>Falls over
>Pic related
>Gym teachers escort me to Nurse's office
>Sitting on a cot with an ice pack wrapped around my swollen shin.
>Misses school for 3 days
>Pretty much a cripple
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>7th grade
>Chad and Stacy types would always sit under the fucking bleachers and talk about stupid shit during dodgeball
>I kicked ass at dodgeball, it was my only chance to fuck them up
>couldnt because they didn't participate

Striker/winger. I have never been happy or felt that I fit in anywhere. Football was an excellent way to stop worrying for a time.
I did this to the fat kid two grades below me once in like 5th grade, except I hit him in the fucking face, not mask or anything. Didn't even get in trouble.
>be middle school
>on track team but suck ass at it
>finally do the Track and Field unit
>love it because running is the only athletic quality I have
>can barely even swim
>now is my chance to prove myself
>75 yd dash against fastest kid in my grade
>not a sprinter though
>beat him by a fucking foot
>he asks me if I want to be on his relay team for track
>win county and get my name on a banner plus a medal
>only time I will ever beat my competition in sports
>felt damn good to be normie
>10th grade
>still don't remember why the fuck i took gym that year since it was only mandatory in grade 9
>second or third last picked in everything because people didn't want me to feel bad but they didn't want me on their team
>soccer unit starts
>every time we played, I would sit on the bench or be the goalie
>eventually they let me play defence
>kick ass
>always get picked early
it was the only sport I was remotely good at

>playing basketball
>never change into gym clothes
>just watch or don't show up
>decide to join in one day
>some kid gets the basketball stuck on the back of the hoop
>no one can get it down
>tried for 10 mins
>change into gym clothes
>pick up ball
>hit stuck ball perfectly
>ball comes down
>teacher yells

I thought, "95 to go until I have a perfect gym grade"


>I have never been happy or felt that I fit in anywhere. Football was an excellent way to stop worrying for a time.

Sorry you really don't seem like a robot.

I spent all of recess walking / skipping (yes skipping) around the play ground by myself. I basically did this well into my teens and I didn't have a single friend til university. Also was bullied all the time growing up and I still really hate myself for being so fucking autistic. Oh and ugly with acne scars. That's being a robot, not being good at sports, having a friend , having your teammates like you but being sad occasionally.
The robot meaning has shifted quite a lot throughout the years. Previously I could relate to a lot of the threads on here and as such, I felt like a robot. Now it's mostly all shit.

Relate in what way ?
>grade 8
>first semester have all classes with this one kid
>we will call him jake
>jake thinks he is smarter than everyone else
>shakes head and laughs when people answer questions
>changes the keyboards to french like a hooligan
and the worst part
>the most hardcore 13 year old communist ever to set foot in canada
>one day he laughs at me and whispers to one of his wacky friends
>"how incoherently stupid"
>didn't know what incoherent meant
>don't know if he did either
>get mad
>we play games a lot that involve being smart
>jake always gets answers right
>people tell teacher "its not fair"
>its like a drug for him
>he has a smug smirk smacked on his face, feelin superior
Next semester comes and we have gym together
>2 week in we have our first good old game of avoid the high velocity sphere
>jake is in opposite team
>I look him in the eyes
>my hand tightens around the foam ball
>as I squeeze it pure hatred surges through the veins of my arm
>load up the turkish 16th century grand bombard
>thrusters engaged
>target locked, I strike the match that ignites the flames of hell that will engulf the innocents of grade 8 PE
>the ball is launched from my arm with the force of a V of Eagles flying over the white house
>the wind around the ball lights on fire due to the speed and raw power of my throw
>the ball spins faster than a tire on a car that is going pretty fast
>and then it happens lads
>the foam connects with his 2 1/2 long chin with a cracking sound
>all the sound in the universe cease for a second before thunder cracks
>the rest of the ball rolls upon his face with the force of Richard ge Lionhearts crusading army
>I guess it hurt him a bit
>he cried
>A black hole forms where the impact occured, and from it emerged the demons and abominations from the Warhammer 40k warp
>the screams of humanity are overpowered by the hymn of chaos
>the blood of mankind is spilled as far as the brain can think of
>jake fucking cried ahaha
Feel the feels being shared. As mentioned, my overall mood has never been content or happy, but not because I was autistic or ugly. There are a lot of ways to have draw the short straw of the genetic pool, I have probably inherited some kind of mental health problems. I have had shitty parents, with a lot of mental problems and constant ruthless verbal fighting for as long as I can remember, and my theory is that this has shaped my way of thinking the most.
>Freshman Year
>Had really good endurance because of cross country
>Last one running the pacer test
>Normal Boxers
>Dick flapping freely under boxers and basketball shorts combo
>Girls laughing and pointing
>My only friend tells me
>stay in locker room until class ends
I have a very, very similar story

Robots should join up to play badminton
Sorry are you


Yes, I'm the same perosn.
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>Been fat white guy my whole life
>Also super competitive
>Get in gym class with all girls by coincidence
>Always get picked first
>My team always wins
>mfw wrecking them at dodgeball and shit
I know it's autistic, but it felt good.


You seem like an alright person. Hope everything goes well for you.

Still kind of jeleous that I am not athletic/not autistic/can't play soccer, but oh well.
Thank you, I hope the same for you.
>8th grade
>PE, playing cabbage ball in the gym
>basically baseball with a large, soft ball
>Im standing in the outfield
>zoneing out, not giving a fuck because le edgy "sports r shit" maymay
>dude hits ball
>think nothing of it, assume that someone will catch it for me (visually impaired as well, used to and still sometimes instinctively cower away from things being thrown toeards me)
>ball flys into my dick
>fall to the ground in pain while everyone in the gym laughs at me, including the teachers
>one teacher comes over to look at me, I go to the bathroom to assess the damage
Also farted in the gym by accident earlier in the year when it was silent except for the coach giving instructions to the days activity
I was listening to a Talksport podcast a few months ago, the question was, When did you fake an injury to get out of PE? Most of the answers were trying to get out of a rugby session.
Going to cry desu my family
>basically standing still and hitting a slow moving projectile with a niggernet
>thinking you're good
the only reason you did good was because the actual sporty people could not be bothered playing such a shitty easy sport, faggot
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> be in HS
> The chads in my gym class hate me
> I actively try to subvert Chad and Co.
> We would play basketball and I would "accidently" throw the ball to the other team
> The chads knew but the gym teachers were to stupid to realize what I was doing
> One day one the chads comes up to me at the end of class in a secluded corner of the locker room
> We end up having sex
> 8/10 body
> I was the bottom of course butI realized that I could use this as blackmail
> We became FWBs for a few months, one day chad pours out his heart to me
> Felt sorry for him
> The next week I fhave my parents forge a doctors note saying that I didn't have to be in gym anymore
> Hang out in the library for the rest of HS instead of gym
> mfw not even gay
That's actually beautiful.
>Freshman year
>playing mix of softball and baseball depending who's at bat
>ball bounces of glove
>hits face

>sophemore year
>softball/baseball again
>fielding again
>ball rushing at me again
>have to crouch to receive
>legs aching from running bases
>ball bounces off glove and into air
>cramp from crouching
>lost focus on the ball
>ball falls on head
>public execution two years in a row
>Standing still in badminton
>Not sweating from the fast paced movement
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>high school gym class
>there is some kind of obstacle course set up
>"okay I'm pretty good at those, no problem"
>turns out we need to do the entire course with a hockey stick and ball, you need to bring the ball to the end with you, only using the stick to control it
>never even touched a hockey stick before
>half of class, full of chads, is on the hockey team so they're all laughing
>teacher chooses me to go first for some fucking reason
>do absolutely horrible, barely finish after something like 3 minutes of flopping this fucking stick and ball around in front of the entire class
>finally reach the end
>need to hit a cushion with a slap shot to finish
>once again, never even touched a fucking hockey stick before
>try three times and fail
>people getting visibly restless, start getting mean glares
>teacher finally tells me I'm done and lets me stop
>literally walk out of the gym without hesitation
>smoke weed in field outside of school while skipping class
>teacher doesn't even give a fuck because he hates anyone who doesn't do sports anyway

Not very interesting I guess.
>was fat fuck as a kid
>in England we have sports day yearly, dunno if there's a murrican equivalent
>basically each form (entire year is split up into 8 forms and we go there for registration and shit) has to compete with each other in various races and events
>there's like 6 other fat fucks in my form
>hear some of the chads at the front complaining about all the fat fucks in our form and how we're gonna come last
>hear them mention me by name
I-I wouldn't have done it if I had a choice ;_;
Are you me? Legit man, the exact same thing happened to me. Feels bad man.
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>in final year there were two gym classes, one for the kids who took it as an actual graded class and one for the others
>my school was chad central so basically all the males chose it
>all that was left was the retards and fatties (and me)
>just did dodgeball for the entire year
>mfw throwing the dodgeball full-force at people who were sitting out and the teacher gave zero fucks
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post yfw basketball week
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>highschool player football (soccer for americunts)
>try to get a goal with the head while the goal keeper tries to block off the ball flying to us
>he accidently stings my eye with his pinkie nail
>eye red , needed to drive to a special eye hospital at night
>needed to put those painfull eye drops later on my eye
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>anything but dodgeball or badminton week
nice sport for girls faggot
>go walk into gym class with one of my chad bro (and one of my only bros) senior year
>gym teacher is this really hot lady early 20-something that's talking to my crush that hated me
>as we walk in, just hear the teacher go "Oh my god, I love coloring books"
>chad friend just turns around and pulls me out with him, makes me skip and go to 7/11 while laughing at her

she was dumb as fuck
>Absent the day teams are picked for basketball
>Place on the team that includes our teacher and a black girl who just got her leg cast removed
>Make it to the finals because teacher calls foul for everything

A true underdog story
Fuck I was excellent and badminton too.

Why the fuck are robots only good at badminton?
parents forced me to play, or they would get rid of our router. fucking near hutterite assholes didnt even use the internet.
because you are sissy fuckin queers
I guess a better question would be why are jocks so bad at badminton?
>only girls playing badminton
>some sissy guys join them since the other half are kicking the ball at fuckin high speed just to let rage out
>went to a really shitty school
>like stuck in the 80's (attended in the early 2000's)
>all we had was soccer and athletics
>gym teacher was actually a geography teacher but I guess the school was underfunded
>pretty much just let us do what we wanted and he sat at the side
>half the class would just play soccer, the other half would sit there and chat
>me being an edgy faggot would sneak off and smoke
>teacher catches me one day, just lights up his own cigarette
What a swell guy, he was like 60 or some shit too. Those moments when you realized that teachers are just normal people too were weird.
baka desu senpai cuck
Omg I remember in my middle school there was an autistic named Matthew
He punched some girl in the face and everyone started attacking him
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>was the quiet kid
>not very athletic
>ran track though and could kick a mile in the ass
>fitness day came along
>everyone else hyped up for the mile, asking what the world record was to see if they could beat it
>was probably the only one familiar with running and how fast was actually fast
>easily crush everyone in gym class, run 5:40 no problem, PR was like 5:09 at the time
>annoying braggart soccer player wants to out perform me, even asks me my time
>watch him run the mile
>runs like 6:10 and nearly passes out on the finish line
>mfw that was my one claim to fame
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>have shit vision
>freshman year gym teacher excuses me from most activities outside of running miles and lifting weights
>get to have peaceful walks around the track outside most days while normies have to play ultimate frizbee and flag football
>tfw different teacher sophmore year who made us do indoor shit way more often like lift weights
>we even did nothing but play badmiton the last 3 months of the year or so
>sucked at it because no depth preception so usually sat in bleachers and dicked off on laptop
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>not very athletic
>ran track though
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>coach makes us run 4 laps around the track once a week
>walk/jog 3 and sit down with the kids that ran 4
>not once did he notice that I was doing this
who /devilish/ here
What are "butt scooters"? What are "rainbow parachutes"? Why are people responding to this post like it makes sense?
>play dodgeball
>other team has teacher
>I get nailed in the face
>breaks my glasses
>they didn't say sorry
why god.

Athletic in the sense that high school students see it. 6'4", muscular, strong, coordinated, 210 pounds of muscle. All of that for me was average besides my endurance. Quit being a nigger.
Euro detected
>he never did butt scooters while playing with the big rainbow parachute
Why even live?
>his school never had butt scooters
Feel sorry for you lad.

Also the big rainbow parachute is exactly what it sounds like, it's a big parachute, there are lots of games kids play with it.
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tfw you fall off scooter the handle pinches your finger
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>kickball (basically baseball but kicking a rubber ball)
>chad is pitcher
>he calls "EVERYONE MOVE IN!"
>kick the ball over everyone's head
Eat shit ma man
>be in the 8th grade
>playing cone ball
>it's like dodge ball, you get hit and you're out, but there's also three cones on both sides with a small ball on top of each of them
>to win you have to get everyone on the enemy team out or you have to knock all the balls off the other team's cones.
>it's important to note that most of the class takes these games verryyyyyyy seriously
>so we're playing, and I'm one of the last few people still in
>the PE teacher tells me one of the smaller balls was put back on one of my team's cones after it had fallen off
>so she tells me I have to take it off
>and I kinda argue and hesitate for a second
>but I take it off
>everyone on my team that's out and saw what I did starts yelling at me because they didn't know the PE teacher told me to
>get hit with a dodgeball the next second
>everyone on my team is a jerk to me for the rest of the period.
>grade 10, netball
>teams are gendered, otherwise free pick
>no team wants me, get shoved into team
>what the fuck do I do
>send ball into air
>girls screaming as it comes down like the angry fist of God
>drop another dinosaur-killing meteor
>and another
>girls are sperging out at me
>hot P.E teacher comes over because of all the screaming, tells met to let someone else serve
>they cycle me back in immediately after she goes
>we're all laughing
>they don't talk to me afterwards
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>being this low level

>be playing dodgeball, the only PE thing I could say I was good at
>have sub who was weird and picked the teams himself
>after 5 mins of playing makes me swap to using my left hand to throw the ball
>am actually left handed
>pelt the ball twice as hard

gotta beat the system somehow
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>those fucking butt scooters
Death machines. What absolute madmen were responsible for getting these things into schools, I wonder?
>them smashed fingers
>them belly races
>them rapid spins
>them smashed fingers
>them collisions
>them smashed fingers
>them smashed hands

The fun was ended for good at my old elementary school when one kid, with the help of two pushers, had a face-first high speed collision with the concrete walls of the gym and broke his nose.
He knew. You underestimate how little fucks teachers give. Especially PE teachers.
Freak lmao
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Show time baby
>be me
>was tired of being bullied in elementary did a bunch of pushups situps and running
>bald kid with nuetral expression
>had the heaviest lifts
>people tried to get competitive but always failed at beating me
>cared little for anything but more liftan.
>did any physical activity with little difficulty
>not even Chad stood a chance
>was basically the one punch man of my school
Actually really surprised he could figure it out...?

Hrm. Good teacher then.
Jesus man, same. That is a painful memory wow
A plus
I was actually pretty good at basketball, too bad I'm ugly and have no social skills
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>liftan heavy like fuark
>two gains goblins in the way of my pe workout
>grab and move one to the side
>autism slips and I utter "scuse me dollface"
>realise my mistake
>hear snickers
>realise fatal error
>talk to no one and lift in solace

Your own words can condemn you far more quickly than even the most crafty man
>mfw had to share gym with another class most days so there was always hella people
>because of this they play games of kickball a lot
>robot comes up to plate
>scream shit along the lines of "easy out!" and "jesus christ!" when he fucks up
>so many people there, so it's hard to tell I'm the one yelling it
>mfw people think I'm joking and must know him somehow so they laugh along with me
>mfw from his perspective some random person is making fun of him and everyone else is laughing in agreement
>mfw do this several times that day
Damn you're autistic. No wonder people didn't like you kek
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>every single recess, every single boy in my grade would come together and split into teams to play football (American football)
>always picked last, every day, twice a day
>people wouldn't even bother covering me or tossing me the ball so I was just awkwardly standing in a field for the duration of the recess, counting for the minutes to run up
>this went on for 8 years over every single recess and gym class

I got into body building 3 years ago and I've been going steady at that despite struggling with depression. Most people think I'm athletic because I'm muscular but I still have a phobia of sports and refuse to watch or play them. So many bad memories of messing up games, being picked last, being treated like less of a person because I was uncoordinated and being an outcast.
It's England bro, anyone is up for a game of footie.
Got smoked in the pills playing battleball in gym class. Luckily I was a fat kid with a small dick at the time, so no balls were actually smashed.
In middle school we had those and rubber inner tubes. The guy on the scooter would get one end and another guy would get the other. The guy that wasn't on the scooter would start swinging it around until it went really fast and then would let go. Fun times.
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>8th grade volley ball
> only sport I liked the whole year
>my team beats everyone because of me
>everyone but me sucks
>the normies see a 6 foot 160 pound autist yelling and screaming
>the normies laugh at me they are all beaten and feel ashamed
>I yell at the top of my lungs I am the best around no ones ever gonna take me down
>my team only lost because of everyone but me making mistakes
>everyone wants to group up with me
> Stacie wanted me to play Hemann volley ball
>said no ain't no doctor touching my pee pee
>people remember how I was the best in class
>Everytime volleyball is what we're playing everyone is afraid.
>For the rest of high school I'm known as the best volleyball austist.

>Am fast but no endurance
>see chad acting cocky
>he sees my bulky body as I yell
>I sprinted towards him and threw it in my face.
>Always picked for dodgeball from than on
>I only aimed for that normie for the rest of highschool
Pic related my face
I've got a "suck it" type of story

>be me
>few months ago
>visiting a high school to get some pictures of veterans volunteering at the school
>for the newspaper i intern at
>started at second base three years for my high school
>two time state champ
>team captain
>before you say "fuck off chad"
>im a kissless virgin
>all the sports didnt do shit for girls
>not ugly either
>there was just a group of us guys
>basically robots who played sports
>some old guys are out helping the baseball team
>the coach is taking advantage of the situation and having them teach the players about patriotism and shit
>tell one of the vets i used to play
>"get on up there then show em how it's done"
>walk up
>teal skinny jeans
>WoW shirt
>all the basemen scoot in
>douchey looking short stop yells "come on man dont waste our time!"
>home run
>do my light jog around the bases
>pull up on my crotch as i pass the short stop
>pretend my leg is broken on the home stretch
>fuck yes
>went to a high school of mostly nerds and losers, very few students and very few jocks
>90% of high school are people used to getting picked last in gym class and used to getting bullied by jocks
>10% athletic population in high school didn't compete and picked us first for teams, never picked on us in games, and got to know us as human beings

The jocks in my high school were the truest of bros and made everyone feel good. Remember that many chads are wonderful people.
Soccer/football was the best real sport to play in gym class, mainly because here in America, Chads and Stacies thought it was a wimpy baby sport and barely tried, so it gave me an opportunity to dunk on their asses.
Not if there's Pedro's.
Mexican dudes+soccer
Guess I'm gonna sit over here and watch. Not like I wanted to play or anything.
Well anon rise up to the challenge.
I sucked at most subjects but was great at almost all sports. For 90 mins I was one of the top dogs. Always one of the first 3 to be picked and even the coaches would ask me if I would play for the school teams.

Was best at chess in my provience too and took part in the country championship but did not win. People would be like why bother playing chess anymore. They just never tried it.
I LOVED those. I don't think we ever had them in PE, but I got to use them in my OT that I had in school when I was little.
>> The kid who got picked last was the autistic kid
This is why I always skipped gym class, eventually I was allowed to be excused permanently making OP the last to be picked.
>basketball unit in gym
>me vs. Chad
>goes to shoot basket
>I block the shot like goddamn teen wolf
>Chad looks visibly pissed that I could 1v1 him
>still relish the thought to this day
>actually going to a gym class

It's like you enjoy sports or something.
>>get suspended for 2 weeks
I call that a score.
>be me final grade of high school
>always pretend i forgot my clothes so dont have to participate
>teacher assigns me to watch over girls on trampoline instead
>stand awkwardly as they giggle about chad and ignore me
>teacher leaves to check class outside
>suddenly girl next to me starts pulling down her pants in middle of the gym
>"anon why are you looking?"

Had to stand there facing other direction while she undressed next to me to fix her pants
You know what I fucking hated, even though I know they were trying to be nice?
>be shit at *insert any sport here*
>its my turn
>"You can do it"
>"Cmon, anon"
>everyone's at least faking believing in you
>fuck up the swing/pitch/anything
>the walk of shame
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I consider this my greatest victory over Chad
>be really quiet, passive kid in gym
>Chad comes up to me
>wearing muscle shirt, complaining it makes look like an asshole
> ,i say"yeah it does" in a bold, but emotionless tone, completely serious
>he's physically taken aback, like actually recoils
>he says "woah",and walks away
Fuck you, Chad
Fucking this, I hate it when people say things like "Oh, I'm ugly" just to get replies and people telling them that they aren't.
Not sure if it was his intention, but I hear peopledo it all the fucking time.
You arent a robot, at most you're a failed normie, but even that's generous.
>Playing rounders
>All my team out except for me
>Teacher pitches and I slam that fucker to the other side of the field
>Run as fast as I could back to base, ready for the next pitch
>Again send it to the far end of the field
>Teacher calls in all the fielders and shouts them to get me out
>On the third time I fuck up and miss-hit it
>Futile effort to get back to base
>The only time I was ever good at school sports
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>6th grade
>doing suicide sprints in gym
>while turning around to run the other way i trip and do a frontflip
>instantly break my collarbone and dislocate my shoulder
>walk over to the gym teacher
>tell him i think i hurt something
>shoots me down and tells me to keep running
>stand there in shock when i realize i can't move my arm
>don't feel any pain
>continue trying to run
>suddenly HOLY FUCK
>start screaming

My collarbone still hurts whenever I run now close to a decade later.


>9th grade
>team members are being picked for basketball
>i love basketball and look forward to surprising the normies with my secret skill
>finally i get to show off something i'm good at
>captains are chosen, teammates are picked
>everyone's been picked except for me
>even the mentally challenged guy that doesn't participate
>nobody even realizes that i'm still waiting to be picked
>gym teacher blows his whistle and everyone runs over to the court leaving me behind
>i'm literally a ghost
>go inside the building and hide in the bathroom
>come out later and gym teacher asks me why i'm late
>get in trouble


I dominated 3rd grade dodgeball games, at least
I never learned any of the terms in sports like basketball and such, and at a certain point it became too late to ask
most autistic writing in the whole thread
>mfw I was the same as jake
>mfw Im still smart as fuck
stay mad stupidfag
>school sports day
>forced to play soccer
>I hate soccer
>have to be in the goal
>a chad power machine comes
>he fires the ball
>I deflect it with my hand
>I hear a crack
>my wrist is broken
>I am afraid to speak up
>mfw I play the rest of the match with a broke wrist
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Hey it worked you stupid useless nigger, try it sometime senpai.
>second, maybe third grade
>people keep 'forgetting' to bring their gym clothes because they don't want to participate
>one day, seven people all didn't bring their stuff
>teacher gets mad and she tells the seven to participate in their underwear
>over the course of that class two crowd out of embarrassment
*cried out of embarrassment
>Playing soccer
>I hate soccer
>Defend, dont touch the ball much
>Ball gets kicked away, comes to me
>about to pass it away
>other guy sprints at me
>goes for a slide tackle
>flies right into my leg, breaks it
>lots and lots of pain

at least I got to sit out of soccer even when I healed
Best was combining the two.
>PE teacher builds a ramp against the wall using cushions and mats
>Ride butt scooter down slope and pass beneath rainbow parachute as everyone else flaps it up and down over you

And in years with the Winter Olympics the PE teachers went all out, trying to make us enthusiastic about Winter Olympics sports.
>Floor hockey
>Build huge ramp to top of bleachers and butt scooter down off ramp at bottom into cushion for "ski jump"
>Same for bobsled and luge, but now with cardboard boxes making a course down the ramp
>Somehow get rainbow parachute involved with some other winter sport

Best story:
>High school makes mistake on my schedule and puts me in PE one semester even though I've already got my PE credit
>Teacher and I both know I'll get my schedule fixed within a couple of weeks, don't have to participate in anything if I don't want to
>Volleyball day
>Bored of playing Pokemon in the bleachers, decide to join in
>Kind of tall, so right at the net
>Spike ball into girl's face
>Spike ball into second girl's face, give her bloody nose
>Teacher suggests I try serving instead
>Hit ball as hard as I can
>Utterly fail at aiming it, so it goes straight up
>Smashes out ceiling tile, broken pieces rain down on everyone
>Told to go back to playing Pokemon
I kicked ass at badminton too. Except my retarded friend hated it and dropped out, so I ended up being paired with fat girls every time. Looking back, I probably should've been nicer to them and tried to get some fat chick pussy. Instead I got all crazy and shit and scared them.
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>I see it coming and dodge that shit like a nigga dodging child support
Am I the only one that had to deal with dancing lessons during PE?

> in PE
> our communist professor decides it's a good idea to make us dance salsa or tango because why not? :)
> i'm hated by my whole class because i never show up when i'm the designated volounteer for interrogations
> i'm coupled with this behemoth girl whose shins were as thick as my thighs (and i wasn't skinny at all)
> awkardly dancing in silence, the professor watching us
> be forced to do this shit 2 times a week
> finally over
> "ok next time you have to come up with your own coreography!"
so basically we get in couples and we can choose a song at the rhytm of which we've got to dance
> i'm with bigfoot girl
> spend the next lessons practicing this weird dance where I would kinda lift her (as i said i wasn't skinny)
> it ends up badly with me falling under her weight
> fell on my back with this giant goddess falling on me as well ass first
> my face is in her giant amazon-like cheeks
> weirdly get up never talk again
> got bad grade
We had a "social dancing" class in highschool

Luckily I have a sister so I didnt have to go through the pain of getting rejected by a girl
>coach was an old soldier
>he literally tortures us, like making us push-ups on fucking asphalt with rocks and glass for 15 minutes because we talked to each other

fuck, why is badminton such a robot sport? i dit it too. time to take it off my cv i guess
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>Be me in HS
>PE is basically only indoors soccer
>There's enough males in class for 3 teams (6 men each)
>The good players are all together in team A
>Some of them on team B
>Me and the other weirdos are in team C (and we all suck at it)
>Never won a match in many years
>But had to play it or else the teacher wouldn't grade us
>(As if PE have any kind of importance)
>tfw when the little sluts cheer Chad on as he humiliates you in the field
I've got other embarassing stories if anyone's interested... my highschool experience was traumatic
>tfw dodgeball was banned
>dodgeball game, it's only me vs 3 chads left
>they start throwing balls at me
>dodge them like a champ because I was too skinny
>knock two them out, last Chad has the two balls I threw
>point towards my loser friends, wink, and give em a thumbs up
>knock the last guy out after he threw a ball at me
>The Most Alpha Beta
was your butthole finger-blasted by a teacher
>last day of gym ever, highschool senior
>playing softball
>im in the outfield
>kid hits ball up nice and high
>its coming to me
>Chad says to the batter, "Just go, he won't catch it"
>i reach up to catch, the golden sun of approaching summer gleaming behind the ball
>i catch it
>gym class ends

best gym class ever
Here's one, this is the time I saw my first live vagina
> during PE
> this time our communist professor wants us to do yoga position
> i'm coupled with this hipster girl (she had a beautiful body, petite)
> she always dresses with these reeally short shorts that are somewhat loose
> there's a position where i lay on my back and she opens her legs above me (not even kidding, that was the luckiest i'll ever get)
> she's not wearing panties
> i see her shaved clean vagina
> she kept doing the position anyway
best yoga session ever, thank you communist professor (needless to say i masturbated furiously for days thinking about this)

That's hot. Requesting more.
here's another one; as I said I was hated/avoided by almost everyone in my class
> in PE
> playan soccer
> i'm damn good at this, turbo-manlet power and been playing since i was a child
> we've got these tiny ass goal nets (smaller than the ones used in hockey)
> i dodge everybody, even that fucker chad who always aims for my legs
> i slam the ball in the net and the goal flies to the wall
> that's one of the few moments when i'm better than all of my classmates at something
> nobody cheers, because i'm hated
> fuck you all, i scored
that's awesome actually, i wish i had a gym teacher like that

>everyone in my gym class hated me
>always picked last because fat and useless
>excused gym for rest of school year because i stabbed a bully
>hung out with other kid who thought he was a werewolf
>we picked litter during gym class
>in summer other kids would shout abuse at us as we picked litter and talked about Sonic the Hedgehog and werewolves
>excused litter picking duties when other kids started throwing rocks at us
>sat in library reading books about werewolves
>kids would shout at us through the windows
>on last gym day the other kids got to watch a movie
>teacher sent us litter picking because nobody would throw rocks at us

gym class was the worst.
>all boys playing grass hockey
>girls all running or some shit at the other side of the pitch
>ball goes past me, chad on the other team runs towards it
>i run to it too
>he trips me up with his hockey stick
>lad in a really awkward way, snap my femur in half
>screaming like a pussy, everyone stops
>p.e. cancelled, ambulance gets called
>needed two surgeries, in a wheelchair for months, then crutches and physical therapy
>its still kind of fucked years later

found out he had been bragging about it when i got back to school
drink more milk next time skelington
here's another one
> communist PE professor decides to teach us fighting
> not even taught a way to fight, he just said "fight"
> i'm coupled with a giant fat autist (he used to talk to himself, tilt back and forth when talking to you, etc.)
> anyway he was avoided too because of his autism, and i was his only "friend"
> nonetheless, he's a giant
> i'm fit, but a manlet
> we start grabbing eachother by the t-shirt
> he won't go down
> suddenly i manage to make him trip on my legs
> he's down
> i use my short fulcrum manlet arms to keep him down
> i win, it was like david and goliath, only with more autism

this guy was also responsible for one of the funniest shit i've ever experienced in high school
another time when we were "fighting"

> be coupled with big titted, pale with freckles redhead girl
> i have no idea how to grab her
> she starts grabbing me instead
> i awkardly grab her by her hips and try to tilt her so that i don't hurt her when she falls
> but she won't give up
> in the end i've managed to down her, with me landing my face between those sweet, juicy, soft velvet skinned boobies of her, and mistakenly touched one too
thank you, communist professor

Those are some dank stories man, had me kek'ed a lot.

But shit, that must have been a painful high school experience
>partnering with your sister during school dance class
sounds kawaii, senpai
these were only the PE classes, it was the best moments of the week... other than that you're right, it was a painful high school experience... but now i'm in uni, nobody knows me and i'm showing everybody i'm better than they thought...

here's the comedy gold moment with the fat autist:
> be in field trip in France
> i used to smoke cigars
> we're free to roam around in this little medieval town
> everybody goes shopping etc, me and autist walk around the town
> i'm smoking, he asks me for one cigar (note; those were very strong cigars, almost no one likes them)
> i ask him if he ever smoked one of them
> "sure anon, i am a connoisseur :)"
> he lights one up and stars smoking and coughing but manages to smoke it all
> we end up at a open bar on the street where some other classmates are drinking
> suddenly autist, who is sitting next to me, starts coughing and brings his hands to his mouth
> oh boy, here we go!
> he gets up, runs to the close town fountain and pukes his soul in the water
> i'm the only one laughing like a retard because i know why he's throwing up
> everybody else says "oh, you're so mean anon.. he's sick and you laugh at him?!"
> literally cry
> at least the fishes in the fountain got something to eat
>Be not Chad, but not totally unathletic either.
>Be playing the floor is lava.
>The whole team made it to the other side except the fat kid.
>Chad passes him the mini cart thing to slide over with.
>Fat kid gets on and starts rolling to victory.
>He then falls off due to being fat and uncoordinated.
>Other team wins.

Nice going, fatty.
>playing volleyball
>Have gym class warrior on my team
> I end up hitting the ball out of bounds when serving it
>mr. gym class hero starts bitching
>eventually my time to serve again
>he says better serve it good this time
>go to serve the ball and blast it across the gym
>he starts bitching and complaining again
>tell him off, he doesn't say a word to me ever again
>that one kid that forgot his sport clothes
>he is just in his boxer shorts
>when we all sit down his dick is hanging out

fucking Konrad i liked you but what the fuck

all the gym teachers i've ever had were fat as fuck too

What a failed life you must have to become a gym teacher. I guess it's for people that want an easy government job and for people who peaked in highschool and just want to go back
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the embarassing moments are coming back like painful knife stabs in my mind:

> in changing room
> only 6 males in my classroom
> take off trousers and wear sport shorts
> i used to wear pic related, they had buttons on the front part for whatever reason
> don't know how, everytime i took off my trousers the buttons were loose and let my penis out
> tfw the 5 males in my class probably saw my penis
or another one:

> the female changing room is in front of ours, divided by a door
> chad opens the door to ask something to girl he used to date
> i manage to peek trough the door
> all those pre-adolescent/adolescent girls, bras, thighs, female underwear, soft skin..
the teenager me masturbated with the ferocity of a puma waiting on a branch for weeks... thanks promiscuous changing room door
>teacher gets mad and she tells the seven to participate in their underwear
>over the course of that class two crowd out of embarrassment
holy shit they actually did it? and the teacher didn't get in trouble for being a pedo or anything?
>that group of spergs that were even bigger spergs than you and made you look like a normie by comparison

> everybody else says "oh, you're so mean anon.. he's sick and you laugh at him?!"
that's bullshit, kids have literally no empathy. if this actually happened they'd be chimpin out over him
>that kid that ran the wrong way and went to third base first in kickball or baseball

what is wrong with some people
>playing baseball in PE
>I manage to get to first base, then run to second and third
>our best hitter is up to bat, so I decide to get cocky
>he hits a great homerun
>I run backwards towards homeplate, trip on a rock, and roll across the plate
Probably the most fun I've had during a baseball game.
we're talking about high school my class was full of hypocrites... it's like when a kid that is usually avoided in school dies and suddenly everybody "misses him so much omg" "we were his friends :("
women can't be pedo, anon
>girl becomes goalie
>lets other team score because she was hardly paying attention and doing her nails or some shit

yea fuck that, put them in cooking class or some shit, physical activity is a man's venture
fuck off chad
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oh yeah I forgot women have carte blanche to break the law
I had fun in gym class. Even though I've never played any sports I'm naturally athletic and usually did well. It took me a while to get the hang of shooting a basketball though.
>gym class had 5 special ed students
>they had to be followed everywhere by the special ed teachers
>they were all young women straight out of college
>gym teacher spends all year flirting with them and doing light versions of the sports with the tards, leaving the rest of the class to do whatever
>spend the entire year fucking around with friends

badminton confirmed robot sport. I also had this experience.
>dancing unit in highschool gym class

there is no other combination of words that can strike more fear into a robots heart

no really, what the fuck is it about badminton that appeals to robots universally
> buttscooter day
> I'm a big guy, tallest in my class
> forced to scoot around uncomfortably on that gay little board gripping the sides
> suddenly front wheels lock and my face flies forward and smashes into the ground before
> concussed

this isnt even a good greentext i just fucking hate those stupid lil scooter boards
I hope you did an over the top celebration after you scored.
This thread is awesome.
>sir can i sit out for a bit, just twisted my ankle

>sir i forgot my kit

>why do we have to play rounders again

he brought it up at every single opportunity, according to him he beat cancer 3 times
he has never taken any extended leave as far as anyone can remember
I was a weird kid but extremely good at baseball. This was around the time twilight came out so people called me "team Cullen" when I went up to bat because of the baseball scene.

I still got picked nearly last every time.
This. I actually used to play baseball with my friends so I could hit a fucking ball. One day smashed it right into a guy's fucking balls. Eat shit Tony you fat fuck.
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>when they bring these out
>had a mini baseball league after school instead of P.E.
>most chads don't show up due to them already playing travel/city baseball
>absolutely terrible at batting
>one day I'm selected to pitch
>throw an eephus every time
>get 5 strikeouts in 2 innings
>this was also only boys so it's not like I just happened to face the least athletic girls in the school
>told to pitch fast
>throw 3 wild pitches in a row
>give up 6 runs right after that
>never pitch again
Actually that's pretty bro tier. Good for teach.
i once puked.
That's it.
>was always shit at all sports
>the few friends I had would always be put in a different team, be skiving off school or "forget" their PE kit
>realised I could "forget" mine
>after several times the teacher realised and gave me detention
>didnt go
>was given another for not going
>didnt go
>cycle continues for a few months
>they give up and just leave me alone to sit out PE

the thing is that I actually love being outdoors and doing things like swimming, cycling, hiking. school sports were just shit and a waste of everyones time, even the chads hated it because the teachers didnt teach it properly, and you had to carry your PE kit all day which was a nuisance. I think they hated it because you had to have the shitty people on your teams too which fucked up your game play.

I used to go to paying ballet and jazz classes, so I was very good at dance, but when they would have it at school, it was insulting;

>all the girls try to copy dance moves like the generic ass shaking from any nigger music video, but cant even manage that and look shit and out of time with the music
>the guys just stand around making monkey sounds at the girls except for that one guy who does a dad dance and gets punched
>the music is the worst pop music on the charts
>nobody is interested in trying to dance properly at all
>the teacher fucked off after putting the music on and only comes back 5 mins before class ends
back to the top

don't die on me
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>tfw never got to play badminton
You guys should consider yourselves lucky. In my country we have a mandatory PE class EVERY FUCKING DAY. Yes, i'm not joking our government made this mandatory for every school. They also want to make football mandatory but that's for the future. Granted our classes are only 45 minutes but still.
Anyway my gym teacher was some 6'3 muscled guy whom we all used to be scared of when we were younger. We have to take part in class no matter what, if you say no to anything, you get an F and you can fail PE at the end of the year. The only way to not participate is to not bring your kit. But doing that 3 times gets you an F. So you fuckers think you had it rough?
We had to run every day, there were mandatory exercises like run 800m and even 2000m that we've done twice a year. And yes they graded you depending on the time. If it took you 15min to run 2000m you got an F. Playing football and all those games were also mandatory but most of the time you were not graded. So yeah our PE was fucking rough and you could not say no unless you wanted to fail. Plus the guy was almost a military drill instructor type, he even hit some guys in our class before. We literally had to like march like in the military and stop at the same time and shit like that.
There was one guy in our class who could sit out all this and not fail but he was like 250lbs+ and had some papers from the doctor. So yeah you fuckers don't know the true suffering.
Wow. Badminton is unanimously loved by all.
Also not bringin your kit didn't work sometimes. Sometimes you had to take part in your regular clothes, and sometimes the teacher even searched your bag. Oh and since our PE classroom was visible from the hallway that went to the lunch area, sometimes our head teacher went there and if she caught you sitting on the bench she'd come in and ask why we are there. And if you told her you forgot your kit, she went apeshit and there were times when she actually phoned my parents about it. I'm serious here. She phoned my dad once and he just laughed. Happened with my friend too.
I wonder if they are still allowed to do things like this?
>be in gym class
>be the most masculine, awkward tomboy
>they start separating the girls and the boys (think it was grade 8)
>girls did dancing
>boys did self defense and wrestling

fuck this gay earth
>play flag football
>picked dead last
>do nothing most of the game
>qb finally passes me the ball
>try to catch it and it bounces right off my hands
>feel a sharp pain
>broke my fucking pinkie finger and had to have it in a cast for 6 weeks
I might as well be made of glass
>We either played volleyball or soccer, but during High school mostly volley ball.

>I was always picked last since elementary school

>We had to do the upward serve

>mine sucked and most girls were beter than me in HS at serving (we were mostly girls in HS but I was a boy)

I think I'm genetically unfit for activities that require physical coordination, I run and light weights and that's it, but I suck at anything else
*I run and lift weights
>Playing Mat Ball in the gym
>Other team punts the ball into the air
>coming right towards me
>try to catch the ball
>literally juggling it in my hands and cant catch that shit
>chad friend stands in front of me to make sure I dont fucking drop it
>finally catch it and everyone laughs

At least I didn't drop the thing.

>Playing baseball outside
>Sit in the outfield hoping nobody hits the ball my way
>Dude smacks the ball my way
>run after the ball
>Throw the ball like a damn sissy

Fuck baseball

>Playing some dodgeball type game where you run through obstacle
> I actually really enjoy this game
>Get glasses smacked off face
>cant find them and the teacher is screaming for everyone to stop

The only time I liked gym is when we were allowed to do what we wanted or if we played Medic. I was only really good at 4 square.
Alright, I got a tale about dodgeball.
>highschool dodgeball
>always some weird variation on the game
>if you get out you are permenantly out until whoever got you out gets hit
>games last forever because one person has to get everybody out without getting hit
>have a strange rivalry with the teacher
>says that the only way to win is for one person to go postal
>get an athletic friend to act out my genius plan
>monopolize ALL the balls
>nobody can fight back
>we slaughter everyone without mercy,
>took us 30 minutes because he would get out when people caught his balls
>eventually we get down to just me and him
>bask in the glory for a bit
>we won
>one of us has to die, hunger games style
>talk for a minute
>I sacrifice myself for him
>everyone is super pissed
>gym teacher is visibly red
it was a pretty good day
>Always be good in defense, stop the best strikers
>But I'm still a nerd so they want me out of the way
>Put me in goal where I'm terrible
>Always get picked last, even debates on who should take me because it would be like letting in every shot
>High school freshman
>Mixed gender PE group because lazy
>Hot black Stacy on the other team (had been my living wank bank for the last two years)
>Team of assorted slackers
>They score dodgy goal
>Feel obligation to dispute goal in lieu of any actual Chads
>Get into heated argument with Stacy
>Slip 'suck my fucking dick' into argument
>Female coach overhears and comes over all concerned
>She 'reconciles' us and make all members of both teams shake hands
>A single semi-autist refuses to shake Stacies hand
>Coach asks why
>'It's because he's racist' I answer
>Hilarious worm can opening
>Nothing productive happens for the rest of lesson
>Grade 11 HS all boys gym class
>Dodgeball week
>everyone in my gym class wears muscle shirts / tank tops everyday, even the twigs / robots
>Reasoning is muscle shirt monday, tank top tuesday, wife beater wednesday etc.
>going pretty good having a good time
>My tank top that day was cotton and really stretchy
>Dude comes up to me and says
>"Yo try to catch the ball in your shirt"
>Seems fucking brilliant
>just grab the bottom of my shirt with one hand and wait
>Someone throws a ball at me,
>lift shirt up quickly and pull it back down
>ball goes in perfectly everytime

>Do this every game, just holding my shirt
>it's either they throw the ball at my legs and i dodge it, or it goes in my shirt
>One game caught the ball 8 times.
>Everyone is complaining saying it shouldnt count when i catch the ball
>Teacher thinks its fine
>Whenever we picked teams i was always picked first.

Good times w/ dodgeball.
Because it mostly requires good hand-eye coordination, which robots attained from video games, and intelligence.
How did you not get a boner?
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