>your dad was an workaholic who never bothered to get to know you when you were a teen
>now surprised you have almost nothing in common
>and are a fuckup 23yo
I know his own dad was absent alcoholic and mom left him at 17, but still.
Who else shitty parents
My dad wasn't a workaholic but he never did anything with me. He is also an extreme alpha and probably enjoyed commandeering me around and never allowed me to talk back. I am 24 and still afraid of him.
I think this also spilled onto other men and even women, who have authority, I am simply afraid of bothering them.
My dad gave me literally no rules, and any he did were arbitrary and never lasted long. anyway now I find it impossible to stick to a pattern of rules. I do whatever i feel like doing, despite me knowing i shouldnt.
>your dad was an workaholic
So he gave up all his time to feed and cloth you?
Y'all niggas need to stop blaming your parents.
My dad wasn't in the picture, my mom was a workaholic and I turned out alright. I'm pretty stable and I'm engaged. You gotta want to make it better, stop being a victim.
When I was 8 or 9, my mother wrote me, my sister and my father each a letter of resignation. I don't recall exactly what she said in it, but it revolved around arguing with me about brushing my teeth and hoping that they all fall out.
No one in my family talks about this or ever brings it up. I doubt my mother even remembers.
I am almost 23 now and have nightmares/dreams about my teeth falling out semi-regularly.
>dad worked throughout childhood because he had to since mom didn't work at all
>despite this, instead of staying home and taking care of us my mom was always out of the house hanging with her friends
>was essentially raised by grandmother until around 10
>she left us alone mostly other than cooking and taking care of our needs
>thank god I had a brother otherwise the isolation would be horrific
>even so, he was a bit different and just stayed in his room and played with toy cars, never really wanted to interact with me outside of that
>came to find out that my dads dad drank heavily because he fought in WW2 (dont really blame him, he was still a good man)
>he never raised his son
>instead of learning from his fathers mistakes my dad neglected to spend any time with us, even after he lost his job
>never played catch/did anything "fatherly"
>I still appreciate that he tried to work hard and give us a better quality of life, even if he ultimately failed
>mom continued her tradition of never being home and still does to this day
>she wonders why I despise her
I feel like I missed out completely on experiences that were supposed to help me grow as a kid, I try to fit in but I just don't with anyone who wasn't in a similar situation
My father was always out working, driving around Europe on his truck.
So basically I didn't have a male role figure, or whatever they're called. I don't blame him, he did it for me. But my mother was always working too, I didn't develop a parental relationship, I don't love them
When I see in a movie parents dying for their children or stuff like that, I just can't relate. I like them, but I can't love them
Posting because I have the best dad ever.
Coached my little league team, taught me everything I know, always made time for me and my brother even though money was tight. Work always came second for him.
All around the greatest man I've ever known.
Thinking about him dying is a guaranteed way for me to start tearing up.
Mom was and is always crazy af. Literally nothing she does shocks me anymore. She's a complete animal rights PETA extremist. Grew up with at least 4 dogs and 6+ cats at any given time.
>dad always been workaholic boss
>blames me and my brother for not having anything in common with him
>been calling us imbeciles, good for nothings and pointing out how we're worse than our friends since I have memory
>called me a mental weakling when I tried to talk him that I may have confidence issues because of how he's treated me all my life
>still makes fun of me because of that
>Mother and Father both workaholics.
>they had 4 houses between them and other assets.
>Dad being a genius tricks mother out of share of everything in the divorce.
>She moves to another country to rebuild her life.
>They still have a good talking relationship.
>mfw dad willed everything to me.
>mom remade dosh and I get that too.
>Dad wants me to stop being a neet and do something.
>get meh job and since neet add disposable income to everything.
Are you not smart and lazy OP? Try being yourself next time, I'm greatful they were both good influences and despite us being tacos they weren't as bad as other taco parents.
>tfw was a neet that volunteered at local library and read to children, also cleaned the streets for fun.
>When are you going to give us 5 grandchildren?
Lel, not going to bring anymore of my kind into the world.
>tfw sibling died when I was 4
>tfw parents were in deep grief, borderline emotionless towards me
>tfw memories of trying to get more attention any way I knew how, saying horrible things just to get mom to look at me
>tfw pain when mom just kept having more babies, ignoring me more and more trying to replace what she lost
>tfw wish she had stopped after me
>tfw she'll have another dead kid soon
This, but I also had a workaholic dad who worked -16 hours a day sometimes, 12 hours at his full-time job where he made 150k a year and another 2~6 hours a day on a side project that never really made much, maybe 40k a year tops. My mom spent her time generally resenting everyone else for not giving her more time even though she was awful to be around, by 13-14 I felt they were only supporting me because they felt obligated too, and I still feel that to an extent.
At some point, extra money can't be worth growing up having a dad you never see, and when you do is to tired to do anything but watch TV anyways.
>tfw 25 now and am basically as much of a workaholic as my dad
I guess thats one thing I learnt off him. I'll slow down when I have a family though.
Nor will any conversation help you fix your shit either.
Accept you had a shitty childhood, realize you have absolute control over how you perceive your life and grow from the experience.
My dad was never a person i could speak to without triggering a long lecture on his sacrifices and out ancestors sacrifices. He was big, mean, purposefully cruel and distant. I did everything in my power to never be in the same room as him, which made family dinners incredibly hard to endure.
His constant down talking and criticism to me got to my head very easily and all I could see were my flaws and assumed everybody instantly saw them too so instead of going through rejection from peers I avoided them all my school career. And he wonders why I was so anti social and shut in at home..
Anyways. These things weighted heavily on my mind and heart for a long time. believing I would become nothing like he predicted, as if he was some prophet.
I finally moved out of that depressing shit hole, and realized a lot of my depression was linked to my parents. I felt very independent and my depression slowly faded. I feel emotionally stronger because of my fucked childhood. Even though I'm a wage cuck right now, it's infinitely better than feeling incompetent because of that asshat.
[Spoiler] Idk how this story got so long and I don't have time to edit this anddd feel that I didn't my point across but like hell am I not posting this now. [/spoiler]
It's not nearly as bad as some people in this thread, by my parents are really stingey and never bought be popular toys/games/movies/etc. Clothes were always terrible, haircuts always cheap. We're not poor, my parents just didn't see that as worth spending on.
I had no childhood and it totally stunted my ability to socialize. I feel like I've spent my 20s playing catch up on things I missed out on before.
Mother let my older brother beat the shit out of me and destroy any self-worth I had for the majority of my life. Said she wished she hadn't give birth to either of us, and they we were worthless. She somehow assumed children raised themselves. She, however, did work incredibly hard to provide for my brother and I. I am really grateful for the good she did do, it's just that the bad things and the good things don't mix much like oil and water. That damage has been done, and nothing can change that.
Similar situation with my father, except I truly believe he has some form of high functioning autism like asperger's. I wasn't a part of my childhood all too much apart from a few phone calls and a couple vague memories of when I was a toddler. He spent most time working from back home while my mother took my brother and I to a new country for a better education or whatever. He works hard to provide for our family, but he fucked up bad one too many times. If it weren't for that fact that my parents were deeply religious, I bet they would of had a divorce by now. I wish I could respect him, but I can't look past his fuck ups.
I wish my parents had been shit so I could kill myself without guilt but they were decent people and normal parents.
I'm trapped into staying alive because I can't hurt them, but I also have zero motivation or desire to do anything with my life that would make them proud, so everyone's disappointed.
I had a decent childhood with divorced parents (although they had good relations) but it was pretty much the same there. My parent both had well enough money and my dad is now out of middle class and in upper class, but even my younger siblings never get shit. Always the cheapest haircuts, half of them have long unfixed hair, and some of them even wear clothes I wore in the early 2000s that are way too big for them.
I can understand why you'd want your kid not to be spoiled by toys but holy shit it feels useless sometimes.
>dad is high strung
>he freaks out and gets worked up about fucking everything
>doesn't leave me alone and pesters me with stupid questions when hes upset
>he wonders why I avoid talking to him and being near him
With mum my relationship is ok. With dad it is not. He has never supplied me anything but money, never supported me in anything and regularly shouted and punished me for whatever he felt like.
>be 8 or 9
>talking to mum about how I didn't manage to write everything I knew on a test so I got a slightly worse grade
>makes me copy a book by hand, checked on my progress regularly and if he didn't like it he punished me in various ways
>don't hear him calling me for dinner (mind my room is upstairs, pretty much as far away from the kitchen as possible)
>he shuts off the power in my room
>i come downstairs
>he throws away the dinner, doesn't turn the power back on until mum comes back home
>I turn off the heating for an hour in my room because it was too hot
>he makes me sit outside with just a tshirt and shorts on while it was like 5C
That was just off the top of my head. Nowadays he just buys me stuff and then scolds me for using it.
>buys me a new computer
>complains I sit on it too much
>gets me lifting equipment
>complains I'm being noisy while using it
>pays for my driving course, my license and buys me a rather expensive car
>never lets me drive it, always says how I'm a shit driver and that I should not be allowed on public roads
Nowadays I don't speak to him unless I have to, despite living in the same house. We communicate through mum.
>mother is severely mentally ill (schizophrenia)
>father has some kind of psychotic disorder, my guess is BPD
>neither work, take out benefits
>decide to have a child (fucking idiots)
>raised in a household where neither parents works, or has to do ANYTHING unless they want to
>they sleep in late every day, my mother until 1pm, my father usually around 10am
>buy lots of junkfood, and waste money on superficial items
>never done a days work since I was born
Fast forward to me reaching adulthood.
>father moans at me 24/7 for spending my own money on junk food (I agree I shouldn't, but it's a hard habit to break)
>calls me a lazy good for nothing when I sleep in late
>gets angry at me for not applying for a job, even though I have College and I volunteer twice a week in a youth organisation
>attempts to control every element of my life
>go upstairs with my self cooked dinner to do some reading while I eat
>"no food in your room"
>ask him why not?
>"I DON'T LIKE YOU EATING FOOD IN YOUR ROOM"
>turns off the internet at 11pm "to make me sleep"
>proceeds to sit in his bed on a British Government bought iPad for hours
>if I question it I get the typical "I PAY FOR THE INTERNET" malarkey
>mfw the government paid for it
>mfw I'm a literal parasite
>mfw I try so hard to amend for my sins but I just can't do it
Never have kids mentally ill bots.
How edgy am I right now?
>Mom diagnosed schizo when I was 7 and never the same after
>Dad was an angry drunk alcoholic type
>Always had money for a bunch of beer each week but none to do anything with us
>Flipped shit at the drop of a hat multiple times a day
>Screwed my mom out of $40,000 or so she had left to her in stocks from her parents
>5-6 years ago
>One day it escalates into violence
>We kick him out and get a restraining order.
>Now he tries to call my mom wanting to know where he can get ahold of me and my brother to say happy birthday
Fuck you dad, you weren't good to us when we needed you most and now that you lost what you had you want it back. Worthless piece of shit.
I know it could have been worse but god damn does it make my blood boil
I don't hate myself. I do a lot of good in my spare time for kids, I'd like to think I've steered some of them onto a better path in life. I've got good relationships with friends and whatnot.
Just imagine 18 years of that shit. It's hard not to end up like the people around you, but I'm getting away from it.
>dad came home from work at half 6 every day, and then spent the rest of the evening working as well, throughout my childhood
>after trying to get me into football as a small child, and then discovering that I hated it, gave up completely on trying to do anything with me
>both parents would make me feel guilty for playing vidya (pretty much the only thing I enjoyed), because they didn't like it
>both of them would bitch about literally every single extended family member we had, but naturally never brought these things up to their faces
>once overheard my mum say "you've got to stop putting him [me] down" to my dad, confirming my suspicions that he also bitched about me as well
>tfw they probably wonder why I don't share any part of my life with them
>tfw they probably wonder why I never call, and why it's always them that has to call
>tfw pretty sure my brother is the same
>tfw all my dad showed me is how I don't want to live my life
Not the worst in the thread, but still
Mine tried. He had to work hard but he really tried. We did quite a lot, but he still says he wishes he could have done more.
We still have little in common. Both my parents are nice people, but pretty normie and believe strongly in hard work, I'm a workshy NEET.
I think they're wrong on a lot of things (they have a pretty simple worldview) but it still crushes me to look at photos of them with me as a kid and know they had high hopes, which i could (and would never) fulfil.
I'd like to say more clearly to my father in particular that I think he's a good guy, but it'd be incredibly awkward and probably not have the desired effect.