>BUT WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT???
ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve; His nemesis is MALE BLACK, a notorious thief, murderer, and general rapscallion. By night they battle for the fate of the city.
FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE
>>CPD Dispatch Stream:
http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web
>>Same feed with ambient music:
http://youarelistening.to/chicago
>>For Ambiance:
https://soundcloud.com/sithdemonic/sets/newwaveretro
DANK AUSSIEROBERT OC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMLxgBxSiyU [Embed]
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
BACK THE BLUE
>>Get Behind the Vest donation drive:
http://www.getbehindthevest.org/
>Chicago cops aren't even issued fucking armor by their shithole city.
>>The Chicago Police Department Memorial Fund (ALSO GET SOME SWEET SWEET MERCH):
http://www.cpdmemorial.org/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
CHICAGO'S K/D RATIO:
>>Shootings Scoreboards:
http://heyjackass.com
http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/
http://chitownmugshots.com/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/shootings/
http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/homicides/
http://homicides.suntimes.com/
#### #### #### #### #### #### #### ####
>>Chicago Racial Demographics:
http://www.radicalcartography.net/index.html?chicagodots
>>Chiraq Gangland Map:
https://www.wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/in-chicago-gangs-abound-but-where-are-they/0d956c2e-171a-483a-8666-f5228d98812d
>>Police Codes:
http://www.bearcat1.com/radioil.htm
>>Chicago Police Dept. Directives:
http://directives.chicagopolice.org/directives/
>>Related twitter
https://twitter.com/spotnewsonig
https://twitter.com/hashtag/shitoemcsays
PASTEBIN: https://pastebin.com/pD418Eky
PREVIOUS THREAD: >>127529373
Robert
Keys checked, Robert
first for robert
Real Robert hours have begun
Prepare thyself for the coonery
>>127538727
fml
Robert McRobertson reporting in.
Keys checked.
>male black approaches
Ey, Robert's here!
Teens fighting on the corner!
>the child is yelling out for the police, mother and father are fighting
fuck this is depressing
>>127538843
STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!
>several shots fired at 59 and Winchester
>vicious animal
Newer to this, is Robert an actual officer in the cpd, or is it just a "code" word for an officer?
>>127538985
This happens at least once a night. Also, lots of times, children call dispatch on one or both of their parents.
Pit bull status:
[ ] captured
[x] running buck wild
>2 homeless men threatened the caller
>head to hospital before court in the moring
... well shit
>male fighting his mother, possibly intoxicated
>>127539336
At least he isn't trying to rape her.
>>127539129
Sometimes, at completely different times in a same day.
>>127539112
Codeword for officers working this night shift
>Anyone speak Polish?
lol
Takes a small army to confine this mayhem to the ghettos. When the dem machine fails in chiraq and CPD doesn't get paid what then?
>>127539431
more polacks in chicago than in warsaw. largest european demographic there.
>>127539377
Officers probably haven't arrived just yet, give it a minute...
>anybody speak /pol/ish?
>>127539477
Huh, things I did not know about Chicago. Good to know I guess
>>127539420
True as fuck. Latrine needs to sort herself out.
>>127539493
JAYKWON TYRELL SMITH, GET OFF YO MOMMA, THAT SHEEEIIIT AIN'T RIGHT.
>>127539477
tell me about the Poles
why do they move from shitholes to shitholes
(dont mean to offend any poles or Chicongoans)
I love this city!
>>127539441
What does "robert" mean? Are they using in place of "roger" or "over"?
>>127539574
no, illinois is a shithole, with chicago as the poo spewing center of misery.
>male blacks with guns with lasers
tactical niggers
Guns with lazers on them? Holy shit!
They're evolving too quickly!
>>127539426
Ahh kk, ty
>Reports of Guns with Lasers on them
What?!
There's no end to the diversity.
>>127539698
Name for overnight shift of officers
>LASER GUNS
LASER GUNS
>LASER GUNS
LASER GUNS
>LASER GUNS
LASER GUNS
>oh my god
>>127539698
>>127539574
>>127539615
No idea about the Poles, but I think the fact that people from Chicago are moving out to Minnesota is telling that they probs won't care about comments about what a shithole that place is. I think they would agree more than anything.
Plus the murder rate being higher than majority of places it's size.
>>127539811
in a few years the male black will be a flesh terminator, determined to systematically eradicate all expressions of civil society
HOL UP
>loud music for the 3rd night in a row
>>127539920
alright tommy sotomayor
>loud music complaint for the 3rd night in a row
I might've heard all three calls...
Sex in front of the house
>sex offense
>caller says a male and a female are performing acts in front of the house
entirely too lewd
>>127540092
And this is why I don't listen to the ambient music edition
1402 Kaminsky
sex offence
male and female
"performing acts"
Street fornication. Must be aristocracy
>3 shots fired
>>127540293
Hawt.
SHOTS FIRED
3 shots heard
>>127539866
>>127539782
>>127540318
GET OUT OF M-MY YARD! I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP!!
Every single career shithead that gets arrested in Minnesota is from one of two places: Chicago or Somalia.
>gunshot wound to upper right chest
>shot in the upper right chest
gunshot wound
upper right chest
in a vehicle??
1124 robert is gaurding
233 ?? West Garfield
>>127540525
Will live.
>Get your friends together for baseball game
>Get shot
>Practice your acting for art school in front of house
>get shot
evening lads. 847 robert reporting in. first second i had the radio on:
>gun shots to what part of the body
>upper right chest
the predictability is very comfy
>>127540521
>>127540525
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH9of1q1YZw
are there any stats available yet?
>>127539891
Iowa here.
They gave these animals massive DISCOUNTS to use buses and Amtrak to pour into our states. This place use to be mostly rowdy townie and student kinda crime (drinking, parties, public nuisances), but now the nignogs that couldn't hack Chitown come here and carry right on where they left off. This shit is rotting my city from the south out (why the fuck always south?!?)...
There is a bit of silver lining though, the nigs find out pretty quick here that our Rogers will fuck your shit up if you step out of line with them, and usually they end up getting the fuck out of dodge or going to prison.
>20 y/o intoxicated brother is trying to fight with everyone in the house
drunk father fighting everyone and trying to drive drunk
They get taken off Amtrak for drunk all the time.
>"..the mom hit him and then left the apartment"
>2 males unresponsive in car
>domestic abuse with language barrier
>2 males possibly dead in a cadillac in a parking lot
>roberts en route
Shootings:
Friday 5/26
7:15p 1800 W 87th, Auburn Gresham, M/18
Saturday 5/27
2:10a 1200 W 97th, Washington Heights, M/32
2:30a 2000 S Marshall, Little Village, M/18
2:30a 2000 S Marshall, Little Village, M/26
3:50p 5500 S Honore, Englewood, M/23
5:45p 7700 S Cottage Grove, Grand Crossing, M/21
7:00p 1100 N Lockwood, Austin, M/23
7:00p 1100 N Lockwood, Austin, M/24
10:55p 1300 S Millard, North Lawndale, M/19
Sunday 5/28
12:30a 7100 S State, Grand Crossing, M/29
12:30a 4200 W Addison, Irving Park, M/22
1:05a 6600 S Campbell, Chicago Lawn, M/27
2:00a 1300 S Throop, Englewood, F/25
4:10a 400 E 62nd, Woodlawn, M/27
4:10a 400 E 62nd, Woodlawn, M/28
5:00a 6800 S Crandon, South Shore, M/34
7:55a 6900 S Morgan, Englewood, M/24
11:40a 700 E 67th, Woodlawn, M/24
6:35p 1600 S St Louis, North Lawndale, M/15 - Homicide
6:35p 1600 S St Louis, North Lawndale, F/16
7:50p 11700 S Wallace, West Pullman, M?28
>>127540950
And Trailways.
>>127541035
Can you imagine policing these areas where nobody even speaks english? These police aren't paid enough for this shit.
>>127541097
Only? This is light for memorial day.
>>127539698
There's A (Adam) shift, B (Boy) shift, and R/Relief (Robert) shift. It's also used in place of roger.
Two males dead is Chinese fentanyl analogue.
>person stabbed, 4 male hispanics in a 4 door
>4 male hispanics fleeing in car with tinted windows
>>127541035
>>127541031
Oh god, please be dirty heroine!
We secretly call it Terro(tm) round here.
>>127541097
yikes. nice work. this is a pretty comprehensive website as well
http://homicides.suntimes.com/
>>127541143
> Only?
Roberts working to the point of exhaustion.
>male dancing on entrance to expressway
>>127541294
>>127541143
If I were trying to police those neighborhoods, I'd find some way to bring in ICE behind the city government's back.
>>127541356
Nice work, anon. love the windows.
Democratic machine in Chicago is failing. Can't pay Robert. Robert is not going to like that.
>Got a female outside yelling at someone not to kick her baby
F
>>127541437
thank you robert
>>127540780
>why the fuck always south?!?
Anyone know anything about this? It's always south, and doesn't seem affected by which hemisphere you're in. Are there any exceptions where the north side of a city is worse than its south side?
>male intoxicated trying to drive home, the caller is trying to fight him and others are too
>>127541401
Robert is truly our hero.
>possible baby theft
>suspicious car, no occupants
>drunk driver turned public disturbance
>>127541540
It's de baddest part of town.
>2 male hispanics fired a couple shots then fled
>one of these fine gentlemen
>4 male hispanics fleeing in tinted windows now firing at bystanders
>>127541573
Always makes me fall asleep comfy listening to Robert keep the city safe.
>>127541540
Probably because the southern sides of the cities are usually the first ones inhabited when the cities incorporated.
As time goes on, Male Black moves in, White Male moves north to escape the inevitable increase in crime.
>>127541540
The southern part of Manhattan is nicer.
>hit and run report
>female hit in the mouth
>male black threatening a Wendy's with firearm
>>127541689
>when your hit goes wrong and you just start shooting anything moving
just like GTA
off to bed
good riding with you Roberts tonight
If anyone ever had to wonder why Chicago NEEDED Homan Square extrajudicial detainment, just need to have them listen to scanners for a night.
checking in
quick rundown on last 12-24 hours?
who else Chicago here
Rogers Park reporting in
>teens loitering
>3 males, 1 female bailed and fled on foot thru alleyways after abandoning silver chevy
>>127542074
Have comfy sleeps, Robert
>>127542094
blood, fire, death
>His roommate destroyed his $10,000 painting
>>127542074
Sleep comfy Ill be listening but falling asleep to Robert keeping the city safe
>asking for the helicopter at Walcott
>they're asking for the helicopter
>man filing report against roommate for destroying 10,000$ painting
>possible burglary, may be neighbor's daughter's ex
>multiple emergencies involving weapons
>helicopter requested
>SIRENS
>>127542143
Hinsdale but I wont in Melrose Park.
My brother just moved to like 10 blocks east of Comiskey because the property values are on the way up.
Also Helicopter lulz.
>Two emergencies happening
>Helicopter requested
"It's englewood & it's a holiday"
>>127542425
>>Helicopter requested
Go, AirRobert!
>>127542425
Oh tomorrow will be fun.
>>127542283
>Roger arrives
>Well, this is clearly not insurance fraud
>YYYEEEEEAAAHH!
>You have been watching CSI: Chiraq
>>127542425
LMFAO
>we have these riots every year
>2 males in pontiac harassing female
>2 noise complaints
>street racing
>burglary in progress
BURGLARY IN PROGRESS
GOD DAMN, THE SCANNER IS ON FIRE TONIGHT
so many emergencies, not enough roberts
>>127542425
>Englewood
>Always up to no good
>>127541097
>M/15 - Homicide
rip, little homie
We need a name for the air units.. I submit
>LuftRobert
>suspicious black Jeep
>black jeep fleeing
>detectives requesting thigh photos
sexual assualt victim
need photos of inner thigh
need female officer
she has bite marks
>>127542693
ha ive been looking for stressed out detective pepe, thank you
>>127542737
AirRobert
HeliRobert
SkyRobert
>person with a gun at spalding and beach
>>127542737
>Attack Hobert
>>127541540
Around here it's usually eastern part.
I assume because it is closer to russia.
>>127542819
It's based on a still from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, where Charlie gets a job in a mailroom
>>127542819
It's from this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nTpsv9PNqo
beech and spalding
person with a gun
>>127542737
Roberto Pinochet
>>127542807
who is biting these chitown nigresses at 1am
>>127542925
>who is biting these chitown nigresses at 1am
>AH
>AH
>AH
>1 noise complaint resolved
>man with gun
>customer refusing to pay but paid before roberts arrive
>suspicious green car with rims
>suspicious male black
>teenagers and smaller kids playing in the street unattended
>attack with bourbon bottle?
GREEN SUBURBAN WITH RIMS Y'ALL
WE BALLIN
>>127542894
>>127542897
haha nice. i didn't catch the reference initially but i see now. its a good one.
>>127543047
REAL NIG NOG HOURS HAVE BEGUN!
They even have official rides tonight
>>127538582
> 5 kids playing in playground @ 1 AM
>Parents nearby drinking/partying
LOL
>shots fired on Sacramento
>woman having dispute with son
>silent alarm
>detectives still want thigh pictures but do not need tech
>shots fired mistaken for fireworks
>>127543181
Gunshots or Fireworks? is a classic Chicago game, regardless of neighborhood. Fun for the whole family.
>>127543017
>teenagers and smaller kids playing in the street unattended
I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house overnight with niggers either.
>male in his 60s on the ground
F
>>127543120
must be fuckin nice to be out drinking at 1am on sunday
cant be white
we have to get up in the morning to work
tell me again about slavery
shots fired
>green Suburban spotted by woman in red Prius
>ambulance sent for person down
>suspect running thru the block
>disregard Suburban
>>127542679
Male black version of DDOS.
>>127543244
IIRC, Chicago bars have or use to have "scanner nights".
>"gangbangers going at it" on Rockwell
>robert banter
>man in white t-shirt fighting gangbangers on Rockwell
>>127543280
Even whites (and other honorary whites who have jobs) have the day of tomorrow, hence the increased shenanigans.
Well, everyone except for Robert.
>>127543280
oh shit, it's zimzam on the left
>>127543429
oh is it a holiday in america??
>>127543429
What a good day for DOtR
>>127543416
>farwell and rockwell
Damn 8 minute drive from me. Live on Farwell.
>>127543574
Memorial day, i think
>5 shots fired at something and Keegan
dispatch is talking way too fast
>domestic dispute - female's wallet stolen by drunken male
>family fighting with staff somewhere
>"it doesn't matter *sigh*"
>loud music
>disturbance in restaurant
>interracial crowd causing large disturbance
>shots fired
>assault in progress, gang members
>domestic disturbance nearly turned shooting
Holy shit it's getting comfy
9625 mskeegan
5 shots fired
4 shots fired just north of there
Latin kings involved
8 shots heard
>>127543574
yes our most holy holiday faggot.
Memorial day.
>>127543710
well Happy memorial day to you
is it a memorial for vets? or what
>more loud music. tv is too loud
>assault still going on at 9600 exchange, gang related with guns. roberts report no suspects present
"going to go outside with his gun if it takes cops more than a second to arrive"
Breaks every law of self defense, in most states, and particularly IL.
>Going to be out there with his gun if it takes more than a SECOND for Robert to arrive
Damn, they're threatening people over the dispatch line now.
>>127543710
AKA White Monday
>>127543675
i'm all settled in, Robert
>>127543814
Yes.
It's always a Monday and most things are closed.
Middle class families celebrate by taking short trips, seeing family and friends and having barbecues.
Nigs celebrate by drinking and smoking crack more than usual.
>civilian with dead car battery
>city's popping off because bars are closing. mobs are flooding the streets and causing disturbances
>>127543814
yeah, basically memorial to all who've died fighting america's(israeli) wars
>loud mariachi music
>>127543574
Just like you leafs have pretend thanksgiving, we have additional "burger days" on which to drink and grill (burgers). Or shoot up the project inhabited by a rival clique. We have freedom, too.
>loud mariachi music
>loud mariachi music
fucking spics
>Loud Mariachi music in the area
>>127543825
joe horn did nothing wrong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLtKCC7z0yc
>>127543988
Shut your whore mouth.
>loud music at a house
>vehicle blasting loud music elsewhere
>loud party somewhere else, too
>>127539441
You roll the armor in and take out any cheeky darkies in sight.
>"anonymous" complaining about loud party
normies go to bed REE
>2 men near a school parking lot with flashlights looking in cars
>intoxicated male
>roberts are stretched thin
>>127544074
Nah senpai, I like big israeli shekels
>caller heard 2 shots in the alley
>motorcycle speeding up and down
>>127543937
Well if its any concilation both of my grandfathers landed in normandy Juno beach, D-1
both made it back as well
Im the ninth in my father line to serve in military
though most served in Royal Navy
Not all Canadians are liberals
>2 shots fired in an alley (theater tickets?)
>motorcycles speeding up and down
>someone trying to kick in the door of the church
>possible break-in at church
>hispanics circling a block over and over in a 4-door with nailguns
>HAD A NAIL GUN AND WENT INTO THE BUILDING
ROBERTS ABOUT TO GET CRUCIFIED
>>127544386
Time for repentance
>>127544070
Who is this national hero?
>>127544424
Relax, they're just doing a little late night remodeling. Don't be racist
>>127544424
>>127544442
fucks sake its 1:20am on a Monday
>Caller, David, says someone just spit in his face
>>127544519
>>127544183
I always giggle at the anon complaints.
>caller says a female who he doesnt know is in his backyard
>Robert on the scene with bowl full of harboiled eggs
>>127543878
sometimes i feel guilty at how comfy i get.
>>127544772
"Dammit, A Pimp Named Slickback, what the fuck did I tell you about keeping your hoes in line?!?!?"
>unknown female in man's backyard
>female named Laura still complaining of one of the dismounted nail-gun marauders committing burglary
FemRobert summoning an ET. Shit's getting UFOed.
>bottle of Patron needs to be fingerprinted
>>127544070
>property's not something worth killing someone over
It is if they broke and entered onto it with intent and without invitation.
Typical libtard backwards thinking.
>main attraction is still currently the nail-gun gang circling the block and breaking into houses
That's pretty comfy.
>>127544947
kek. wonder who drank it
>>127545021
obviously robert
these nogs are pissing him off
>female by name of Guadalupe Lopez is intoxicated
>more shots fired, one person shot
>45 shots heard in the area
>>127544844
"listen young negro, sometimes whores get out of line and stray into foreign territory looking for loaded nerds desperate for brown puss"
>Guadalupe Lopez is intoxicated
>4-5 shots fired
Shots fired 4-5. Also possible unrelated shooting 5-6.
person shot
56 and polaski
5 shots
possibly related
>"..got shot in the leg, didnt say if she was on foot or in a car"
>loud music
>Nail-gun gang still not found/caught
>female shot in the road
>2 male blacks in hoodies stalking alleyways
>a Robert is headed to the hardware shop to investigate a possible lead on the nail-gun gang's whereabouts and identity
>>127545294
>2 male blacks in hoodies stalking alleyways
thats a racist assumption
they could be just looking for a lost contact lense
Green ford focus 2 ppl shot in it.
>>127544957
>>property's not something worth killing someone over
i will never understand/accept tjhis
marco rubio is fighting with his mom???
>>127544516
JOE HORN
these nappy headed hoes are goin nuts tonight.
>Nothing found on 56 and Polaski
>Drunk family fighting each other
>Son fighting a mother
>Uncle fighting a brother
>vehicle collision, 1 driver unwilling to exchange insurance
>ambulance requested for drunk male. (heard him over the radio, kek)
>56 and polaski shooting was the wrong address
>THIS IS GETTING BAD
THIS IS GETTING BAD
>THIS IS GETTING BAD
SASSY OPERATOR AND CRABBY ROBERT ON PATROL
>"this is really bad..."
Anon is complaing about the FUCKING NORMIES again.
>some cars are racing around on Emerald
finally
>battery in progress
>gang still of 4 hispanic males all wielding nailguns and committing burglaries at large (pic related)
My headphones died so this may be the end of the comfiness tonight. Hope they catch the nail-gun gang,
>man laying on the ramp by the school, were gonna need an ambulance
>>127545591
>>127545591
would bang
this is my first /CPD/ thread, it's pretty fun
>>127546196
same lad, i think most of it is just the community involvement
>2 male hispanics fighting, throwing bottles
>someone passed out on a bike
>someone passed out on a bike
>he has fallen off the bite
>traffic crash between 31st and 39th street
>>127546196
just wait until the summer really starts and the weather gets hot.
>teens in the back being loud, smells of marijuana
>>127546268
I think he said:
>Resting on the bike, but he hasn't fallen off the bike
>>127546395
>the scanner gets hot.
>Photographer arrived to take pictures of the female victim
>right forearm needs to be photographed
>he's got the female and he's escorting her inside
>>127546196
same here
I need to sleep, but this is too good
any word on the nail-gun gang situation? still at large?
>>127546657
get /comfy/ newberts
>male black stole from store and is now trying to sell the items he stole
>smell of weed and underage drinking in the back yard
>>127546026
i saw her first breh
>gangbangers throwing bottles at cars
>>127546706
Chicago's got a little bit of everything for everybody!
This is only a mere teaser for the coming insanity of 4th of july. I'll be in Chin all summer, hope I can still find time to tune in with the time difference.
>Karaoke singers are at large
Absolutely horrifying.
>>127546738
>newberts
lel. listen to this advice
>Fighting with sticks
The perfect crime.
>People fighting with sticks
>two females fighting with sticks
>>127546950
They've finally come full circle.
>>127547007
Pyramids when?
>>127546868
>Chin(a) all summer
>bypassing The Great Firewall
You won't be leaving.
we gotta hot car robert
>>127546953
>We need the YouTube of this1
someone should probably bake a new bread
>8 shots
8
>>127547435
Seconding this
That cackle lol
>AH HA HA HA
I almost wish chicago would adopt rational right to carry laws and other legislation. I bet you within five years it would clean itself up and MALE BLACK would be in controllable numbers. I also want to keep tuning in for CPD though...
>>127547103
When dey iz kangs!
>Passenger with no money and refusing to pay
>>127547521
i got it
BAKING BREAD
We got a footchase against mexican gang members!!
>>127547711
its goddamn confusing
A little more info pls, Robert
NEW BREAD
>NEW BREAD
>>127547890
NEW BREAD
>NEW BREAD
>>127547890
NEW BREAD
>NEW BREAD
>>127547890
Their shitty radio comms system continues to fuck the Roberts over.
>>127547989
If they use FM, why the hell do they still use narrowband?
>HUGE GAS LEAK
>>127548067
Limited freq range combined with urban environment.
They really need to unfuck themselves and go digital.
Much cleaner and prevents stomping on each other.