Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1127

gib prompt pls

>>30658686
Tripfags in Equestria

>>30658666
How do YOU get your wings through those holes?

>>30658686
Every time Anon flushes his toilet the contents appear 2.7m above Prince Celestia. He starts fludhing weird shit to mess with her.

>>30658686
Anon finds reasons to avoid the uselessness ritual. Twilight keeps insisting that he respect pony traditions.

>>30658733
obvsly, Anonymous helps her.

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Threadly reminder that Celestia is cute.

>>30658906
oooh, i'm writing that
thanks anon

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>>30658940

>>30659024
My Little Pony: Celestia puts out on the third date.

>>30659045
That's why she's best Princess.

>>30658917
but the holes are smaller than her wings. I don't see how Anonymous can help unless he can subvert physics.

>>30659121
Perhaps he knitted the sweater around her?

>>30659151
The eternal sweater.

I bet it stank.

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>>30659340
It's surprisingly easy to keep such things clean in Magical Tiny Pastel Horse Land.

Writing prompt: >>30658345

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MOMMY is best princess

>>30659464
"Fluttershy, I heard you have a big butt."
>"O-oh, really? Who said that?"
"I think it was Twilight."
>"I see. I guess it's true then. I do have a big...behind."
"Fraid so."

>>30659794
"Rarity, I heard you have a big butt."
>"Anonymous, really."
"I'm just telling ya how it is."
>"Not that dear. I want you to say it louder."
"Oh."

>>30660279
kek. that was a good one.

>>30660279
This is my favorite kind of rarara

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>>30660279

>>30660279
"Rainbow, I heard you have no butt."
>"What? Do too!"
"Do not."
>"Do too."
"Do not."
>"Do too."
"Do not."
>"Do too."

>>30659073
She has competition though.
Luna rapes people in their sleep.
Cadance likes futa stuff.
Twilight blushes if a male says hello to her. Doesn't matter what species either.

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>>30661115
>implying you can rape the willing
>implying Cadence isn't futa stuff herself
>implying Spike counts as male
>implying implications

I have been seized by a dire need to fuck a pony

>>30661225
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBXyB7niEc0

>>30660279
"Applejack, I heard you have a big butt."
>"That so?"
"I'm just speaking the truth."
>"I can't find fault with yer honesty."
"You mean you agree?"
>"O'course."
"That's a bit unexpected."
>"And as a mare with a big butt, who values forthrightness, I'm looking for a stallion who likes big butts and cannot lie."
"I see."
>"So, d'you have any firmly held opinions on sturdily built mares?"
"Uh..."
>"It's all muscle, by the way."
"I don't doubt it."

>>30661286
Uh...yeah. Anon walked right into that one. eh, I could do worse that waifu Applejack. It's likely she'd tire of me since I'm a lazy Anon.

>>30661286
"Chrysalis, I heard you have a bug butt."
>"All the better to pump my eggs into you with."
"I think you got that reversed."
>"Hmmm hmmm. It's called an ovipositor."
"Gross."

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>>30661378

>>30661217
I hope Cadance is futa stuff. Or stuffing things with a futa dick. Either way is fine

>>30658345
"Yo, Ponka, why's your butt so big?"
>"Silly Anonymous, where do you think I keep the Party Cannon?"
"Check, please!"

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>>30658345
>visiting Canterlot as a guest of the Princesses
>the white one, Celestia is tall
>she's really, really tall, like real-world horse sized tall
>you could say she's a big beautiful beast of a woman
>mare
>something
>you're in the castle's main cafeteria with her
>she appears to have quite the sweet tooth
>she gives you a fine view of a truly impressive bubble-butt as she rummages for another cake on the bottom shelf of a dessert cart
>you can't resist
>this line has brought you so much fun already
>you raise an eyebrow and take a deep breath
>she stands upright and looks you in the eye with a knowing smirk, platter of cake levitating beside her head
>"So, Anonymous," she says
>"Does this cake make my butt look big?"
>you ponder this
"Yes. Yes, it does. But the look suits you."
>"Well spoken, Anonymous. Very diplomatic of you."
"Of course. As the representative of the Sun, shouldn't you have a butt with its own gravitational field?"
>her brows narrow
>"Or not."
"It's a sign of fertility and a trait of the most attractive human females."
>"Just stop."
"In fact--"
>she hits you with the cake
>mmm, banana

>>30661286
At least one was funny

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>>30658686
Anon can't see or hear Starlight, but everyone else can.

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>>30663081
I just realized the reverse is funnier, if Anon is like Glimmer's Imaginary Nuisance.

>>30658733
Equestrian space magic

>>30658733
I don't have wings.

>>30664749
What are you, gay?

>>30658686
All the stallions in town have human anus fleshlights. Anon is worried.

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>>30665014
Of course not

hey guys
I don't know what to draw
But I want to draw something short and dumb involving anon and fluttershy.

Lay it on me fellas, I'm counting on you.

>>30666295
Anon tries to eat her rabbit.
The rabbit welcomes his death like a true Spartan.

>>30666460
With spear, little red cape and helmet

>>30664738
I want a one-shot of Sweetie Belle and Derpy cooking with Anon.

>>30666460
Anon eats the rabbit and then resurrects it with his necromancer powers. Fluttershy doesn't know if she should be happy or sad that her pet rabbit is still with her, just undead now

This might be very late, but is Sorcanon dead? I read his fool moon and it was great.

>>30662960

I like it. Thanks for the laugh.

>>30667393
yes

>>30667393
Very

>>30661115
>>30661217
>Cadence
>Futa stuff

I'd believe it. Hell, I bet she walks around with it flopping about. The only reason we can't be sure is because pony genitals are invisible to humans.

>>30669473
No thanks.

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>>30669473
Not just genitalia.

Aren't unicorns supposed to be invisible, unless you're a virgin?

>"Hi there! You're a human, right?"
"...well, this is awkward."
>"What do you mean?"
"Am I awake, or dreaming?"
>"Are you all right?"
"I don't know. Are you a unicorn?"
>"Yep!"
"Then I'm okay, but I'm very confused."
>"Why are you confused?"
"I thought unicorns were invisible except to a few, uh, very special people."
>"Maybe you're one of them."
"Unlikely. They have to be, uh, pure of heart."
>"Maybe you're purer than you thought."
"It was a euphemism."
>"A euphemism for what?"
"You're going to make me explain it, aren't you?"
>"I don't understand."
"VIRGINS! Only virgins can see unicorns!"
>"Oh."
>she stared at the ground for a long time
>"Does it matter whether I'm a--"
"I'm sure I don't know!"
>it was an awkward sort of First Contact

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>>30669505
You can't stop me. It's too late. The idea has already been unleashed.

"So, Shining... rumor is that you married Cadence to have a beard."
>"Why would I need to marry somepony to have a beard? Facial hair doesn't care about marriage. It's hair."
"No, I mean you married her so people wouldn't suspect you like dudes."
>"Uh, of course I like dudes. My tabletop gaming group didn't have any mares. Is this some sort of human thing?"
"Maybe I'm asking the wrong questions. Has your scrotum ever come into physical contact with another scrotum, especially during sex?"
>"Okay, so it is a human thing. Yes."
"Wow. You came out of the closet like there wasn't even a door on it. So you're gay, then?"
>"No I'm not. I'm not even bi."
"Your scrote touched another scrote, therefore you are homosexual."
>"What? No. If that's how humans figure out whether someone's a colt-cuddler, I don't count. My willy was in Cady's foal-hole when it happened. If I'm following your logic, that's disqualifying."
"She lets you have threesomes? Damn, dude!"
>"No again. It was just me and her."
"I don't follow."
>"My balls touch hers whenever I bottom out inside her."
"...Wat."
>"What do you mean 'wat?' Can't you- Right. Nevermind, of course you haven't seen hers. Sorry. I thought you already knew she was a hermaphrodite. She put it on herself the day after she became an alicorn while she was testing her horn and liked it too much to get rid of it. It's a very feminine penis. I think it suits her."
"I- WELL, OKAY THEN. You're still not out of the woods here! Has she ever used it on you?"
>"Nope."
"At all?"
>"She and I have an agreement, but if we're defining 'use' broadly, one of the things I took away from training is to have the common courtesy to give reach-arounds. That still doesn't count."
"It might. How did you learn that lesson?"
>"Honestly? It was kind of scarring."
"PLEASE don't elaborate. I'm going to hope that's a metaphor and be grateful that I can't see pony bits right now."

>>30658345
>knock on Princess Luna's bedroom door
>she answers the door with bags under her eyes and a look of displeasure
>oh, yeah, she works nights
"Your Highness, I have come to discuss a matter of great urgency."
>"Ah. Anonymous. What are thy concerns?"
"I hear you've got a big butt."
>she looks at you for several seconds
>"We are not certain that We heard thee correctly. Couldst thou repeat that?"
"You've got a big butt. Everyone's talking about it."
>"Who told thee of this?"
"Twilight Sparkle. She says they're talking about your butt even in Ponyville."
>"Verily? They have nothing better to talk about than Our posterior?"
"You can see this is a weighty topic."
>"Indeed."
"It's of massive importance."
>she blinks
"It's a really huge deal."
>she raises an eyebrow
>"Exactly what have Our subjects said of it?"
"That it's smaller and cuter than your sister's."
>"Verily?"
"Oh, yes. They believe it might be possible to bounce coins off your butt."
>"We aren't sure how to interpret that."
"And it's not just the stallions. Even mares are talking about your butt."
>"Tell us more. We grow fascinated."

>>30658686
In Equestria, survival instinct is rather subdued in more intelligent animals and entirely absent in sapient species, as mere enjoyment of life is sufficient motivation to ensure their survival
Twilight is fascinated when she finds out that humans still fully possess them, and concerned when Anon suggests that humans would be extinct if they didn't

>>30663114
Starlight has a Stand. I'd honestly write that if I gave a fuck about Starlight.

Alas.

>>30658686
Anon looks like an edgy OC from the My Little Human fandom. With his extra fingers and weird skin color and how freaking tall he is. Most ponies are convinced he's some kind of magical construct that will disappear on his own if you wait long enough.

>>30636929
>"I'm still a little sore from this morning. The Lieutenant led weapons training personally. I think I'm just gonna go get some lunch."
"Then I shall bid you farewell for now."
>Moondust heads off in the direction of the kitchens and you make your way down to the training hall.
>The hall is almost empty, the sole occupant being Lieutenant Spear who appears to be working through his own routines.
>The Lieutenant is working his way between a trio of training pells his spear levitated at his side, gripped in a magical aura.
>It is a rather strange sight, watching the spear whirl and fly through the air striking out at targets without being physically wielded.
>The Lieutenant pauses in his routine having taken notice of you.
>He lets the spear drop down and takes hold of it, propping it against his shoulder. "Hello Anon, didn't see you there."
"Greetings Lieutenant. Your training goes well?"
>You ask as you browse the available selection of practice weapons. Spears seem to be the mainstay but there area number of blunt edged cloth bound swords intermixed.
>"It's going pretty well, gotta be in top form if I'm going to teach the rookies everything I know." He says in a jovial tone.
>You simply give a grunt of acknowledgement finally selecting one of the swords closest in size to your own blade.
>While you could practice with it you'd rather not blunt the edge on the pells, or more likely split them apart.
>"Wanna try sparring a bit, I mean practice with a partner is always better."
>You consider the Lieutenants proposition.
"Very well. I shall endeavor to hold back for your safety."
>A twinge of annoyance touches the Lieutenants face but is quickly masked. Perhaps your comment came across as insulting.
>"Use whatever weapons you like I'll just be sticking with spears."
>You nod and make your way to the far end of the room.
"From a distance then, as if on the field of battle."
>You hold your blade up in a quick salute as the Lieutenant readies his spear.

>>30672234

>The two of you stand there for a moment assessing each other.
>In size and strength you're clearly the superior combatant.
>The advantage physical speed is likely yours as well, but those things only matter so much when he's wielding his weapon with magic.
>You are the first to move throwing yourself into a charge with your blade at the ready.
>The Lieutenants eyes widen a fraction and he takes a half step back, hesitation freezing him.
>You've seen it before, Transhuman dread you had once heard it called.
>The Iterators who had mentioned the term had explained it to you.
>A figure so large as yourself, so heavily armored, so singularly built for war, moving so quickly towards you, was enough to unman most opponents.
>That terror has cost many a man his life, cut down while he stood helpless. The Lieutenant is not one of those men it would seem.
>Seizing control of himself he thrusts the spear out in the air before him to arrest your charge, twisting it to cut at your neck as you sway past the initial lunge.
>Argent Spear readily gives ground before your assault but circles as he does so, seeking to keep you positioned so that he always has room to maneuver.
>The dull thwack of practice weapons ring through the hall as the bout rages on.
>Argent Spear sends his weapon lunging in a low thrust towards you gut.
>You parry the blow and start to push towards your opponent while his guard is open.
>His eyes flicker behind you and battlefield instinct honed over centuries takes hold.
>You throw yourself into a forward roll as a second practice spear flies over your head.
>Juggling two weapons seems to have slowed Argent's reaction time as the first spear comes around too slow to stop your lunge.
>You poke the blunted edge of the practice sword against his snout forcefully enough to make your point.
"Your ploy might have worked had your eyes not betrayed your intent."

>>30672237
>"Yeah, well it's really hard to hit a moving target without looking. Good match though."
"Agreed. You are clearly skilled in your art."
>You say inclining your head respectfully."
>Argent levitates a towel over from nearby to wipe himself down, having worked up a sweat during training.
>"So I hear you're working on a whole new set of tactics for the guard to try out. Anything you wanna share?"
"I fear the work is far from finished. Even then there will be the matter of testing the practicality of the ideas later."
>"If you need any help with that last part let me know will ya?"
"I wish to recreate the training simulation from before, though perhaps on a larger scale. Seasoned commanders such as yourself would be a welcome boon."
>"I look forward to it." He says gathering up his gear to depart. "See you around Anon."
"Farewell Lieutenant."
>In the absence of any sparring partner you work through your routine by yourself for a while longer.
>Afterwards you decide to go for a run, as much for the exercise as to enjoy the scenery.
>The gate to the castle is open and unbarred as you would expect.
>You make your way down into the city following no particular path as you let your whims guide you.
>The citizens make way for you, some waving or staring, others ignoring you almost entirely as they go about their business.
>It is impressive how quickly they've grown used to your presence.
>Then again it's not as if this planet is home to only one sapient species.
>Perhaps not being the only dominant life form has made it easier for the ponies to adapt.
>You find yourself navigating the wide avenues of Canterlot opening up to reveal the well manicured lawns surrounding the University.
>You have little else to occupy you for the next few hours you decide to pay Professor Ivy a visit.

>>30672239
>You enter through the main doors as before and ask after the Professor with the first staff member you see.
>The ponies as always are quick to help as always and direct you to Professor Ivy's office.
>You pause at the door marked with Ivy's name and knock.
>"Come in." she calls. You enter to find the professor leaning over her desk scribbling furiously at a sketch of something.
"Professor, am I interrupting anything?"
>The Professor looks up at you her mane falling from its bun and rings circling her eyes.
>"Oh hello Anon, it's good to see you, may I ask what brings you here so late?"
"It is nearly noon Professor."
>Ivy pauses and looks at you for a moment, then turns and raises the shades on the window behind her squinting at the glare for a seconds before lowering it once more.
>"So it is, all the same what can I do for you?"
"I had come to see if I might be of further assistance in your research. If I might ask what is it that you're drawing?"
>"Oh just some sketches based on parts of the ship we've examined so far. There are a lot of interesting thing in it."
>She turns the paper so that you can see.
>You're no tech marine but she appears to have sketched out the inner workings of some of the broken hydraulics systems that once operated the rear hatch.
>There also appears to be a basic diagnosis of the thrusters but those are much more vague.
"It seems that you have been going through the stormbird quite thoroughly."
>"We've taken great pains not to damage it any further in our investigation I assure you." She says defensively.
"I was not overly concerned about the matter do as you will."
>You say holding a hand up in a placatory gesture
"Though if it could be made space worthy again when you are through all the better."
>The professor nods enthusiastically
>"Yes I would very much like to see your ship in flight if it can be managed. Though I'm afraid the difference in our level of technology makes that a pipe dream."

>>30672240
Random early morning update while I had the chance. Gonna be gone most of the day but will try to do another tonight if I get back in time.
Here's the updated pastebin .https://pastebin.com/4DcZLrJe

>>30672244
Nice.

>>30672244
I always look forward to your posts, good shit anon. Fight scene was good too, nice to see anon fight someone with some actual skill.

>>30673569
Fuck yes I want some Silly String.

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>>30674102

>>30672244
Noice

Here's a thing I did for >>30573333. Fair warning, it's a little glum.
-----

>Easing your way around the lush plant life, you glance up at a break in the canopy, wordlessly judging the dreary sky.
>As the first few drops of rain sprinkle down, you swear quietly.
>There was no mention of rain today. Cloudy, yes, but not rain.
>What a drag.
>To affirm your thoughts, a quick check of your phone brings up...
>Nothing.
>Two words blare out from the top of the screen: No Signal
>You purse your lips, mouthing a few choice words to your wireless carrier.
>You don't exactly live in the sticks, yet your connection is consistently shoddy at best.
>No matter. A little water never stopped you.
>Pocketing your phone, you continue on your moderate trek through the section of forest surrounding your home.
>You can't be fucked taking the long route just because there's a paved road weaving about, so you've resorted to cutting through the woods in an effort to save time.
>It was a little unnerving the first several trips, but you've since adjusted. Now you look forward to the quiet excursions as a brief period where you're the only person in existence.
>Your shoes make light indents into the dirt as you walk, leaving a trail of disturbed earth in your wake.
>From what you can hear, the rain has evolved beyond light drizzling but the treetop serves you well, shielding the surroundings from the brunt of it.
>The minutes tick by, and eventually you near the tree-line...
>...And pause.
>Even from this distance you can tell something is off.
>The background currently blocked by trees isn't the sight you've gotten used to over the last month.
>You pick up the pace, somewhat confused with the new development.
>You definitely didn't get lost. You took the same route as always, using the same landmarks as always.
>As the density of trees eases up, you're treated to the full force of nature, your already damp clothes hastily soaking up the rain.

>>30674268
>You barely notice it, instead staring out at the world beyond.
>...
>There's no town here.
>What the fuck?
>The small, homely buildings you've grown used to have been replaced by sprawling hills flush with green, a large contrast to the never-ending dirt in the forest.
>You look left and right, trying to see if you were mistaken and yes, you did happen to take a wrong turn even though you technically didn't make any turns.
>Nothing... and...
>There!
>Out in the distance below your current position is your destination.
>...Or not.
>Your relief dies just as quickly as it appeared.
>The layout doesn't ring a bell at all; not to mention there's a few structures you don't recognize.
>Unless you've developed a severe case of selective amnesia, that clock tower doesn't fit. At all.
>There’s also what appears to be purple tree.
>...A /very/ large purple tree.
>This is not the town you expected. There should only be one town near your home.
>At this point you're well and truly baffled.
>Where the /hell/ are you?
>Clearly you are not qualified to answer that question.
>Time to call in a favor from an old friend: Google Maps.
>You retrieve your phone with minimal difficulty, raindrops pelting the screen as you furiously glare at the same two words from before.
>...
>You're ditching your carrier as soon as you return home.
"Piece of shit."
>You grumble to yourself as you deposit the device into your pocket, no longer caring for its health.
>You're not sure how you managed to screw up this badly, but that's of little importance.
>Your primary task is to figure out where you are and how to fix it.
>Wandering around aimlessly, fun as it sounds, is a sure-fire way to get even more lost.
>You'll pop into the small town in the distance, ask someone for directions, and be off faster than you can say "mistakes were made."
>With one last huff, you take off.

>>30674274
>Annoyed as you are, the rain does wonders for your mind.
>Something about this weather always puts you in a calm mood.
>Maybe it's the steady drone of drops hitting the ground, or the sensation of water running down your face and arms.
>Either way you've become less disgruntled, your thoughts drifting about as you walk.
>The temperature has turned noticeably warmer compared to the forest, the humidity rising as well.
>Not to mention you're fairly positive the rainfall has increased, turning into more of a downpour.
>None of those things are enough to dampen your spirits, although you do lament your socks getting wet.
>If you knew about this beforehand, you would've worn boots.
>The trip downhill is uneventful, your eyes trained on your destination.
>As you grow closer, however, you take in several... /interesting/ details.
>...Are those rooftops made of hay? Talk about a fire hazard.
>Not to mention the size of the buildings. Most are multi-story, yet somehow they feel... smaller than expected.
>Have you stumbled across an Amish community? Do the Amish even use hay for--
>"HEY!!!"
>Recognizing the universal cry for attention, you immediately slow down, looking around on the off-chance someone is calling you.
>You can't pinpoint where the voice came from, and your short search turns up nothing.
>Guess it wasn't for you.
>Shrugging, you barely cover a few steps before the voice rings out again.
>"UP HERE!"
>At this point your gait doesn't falter one bit as you allow yourself a curt glance upwards out of habit, eyes squinting to guard against any stray raindrops.
>A pointless endeavor, considering there's nothing above you aside from clouds.
>...Maybe it's just your imagination, but you swear those clouds appear a lot lower than they're supposed to be.
>"IN. THE. CLOUDS!!!"
>Man, he/she sounds pissed.

>>30674277
>You can't help it. You know it's not directed at you but you're curious to see what the hell they're talking about.
>Another look upwards yields nothing of interest aside from more cumulonimbus clouds and heavy rain.
>...Although off to your right, thanks to their unusually low altitude you can make out a small break in them, revealing the bright sky beyond.
>That's pretty cool.
>"/FINALLY/!"
>You pause mid-stride, frowning a little.
>Coincidence?
>Once more you search, and once more you come up empty-handed.
>The voice is yelling, so they're not near you.
>This has to be a coincidence.
>"AREN'T YOU GUYS SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOOD-- /HEY/!!! DON'T LOOK AWAY FROM ME!"
>Yeah that settles it. It is absolutely /not/ meant for you.
>Shaking your head in amusement you resume walking, tickled over your small delay.
>Well, that's enough misunderstandings for one day. You still need directions.
>Considering the current downpour, there's a good chance you'll need to pop into a store to request assistance.
>Hopefully your sodden clothes won't get you shooed out--
>Without warning, a shapeless blur materializes directly in front of you.
>HOLY SHIT.
>You literally jump back in surprise, your blood running cold at the sudden intrusion.
>Your heart is racing a mile a minute as you realize the blur does in fact have a shape, and it's still there.
>"Are you hard of hearing!? I called out TWICE and you ignored me!"
>...
>"What're you doing here?! There aren't any gems nearby, so why don't you get LOST!"
>...
>"HELL-OOOO??? Are you even /listening/?! I'm being /soaked/ right now so you... better..."
>...
>......
>You hear the words, but you're not listening.
>Instead, wet hands reach up to rub your eyes, hoping to rid yourself of this peculiar sight.
>...
>Nope.
>It's still there.

>>30674283
>This... /thing/.
>The first definition that comes to mind is "horse".
>Thing is, horses aren't colored cerulean.
>Horses don't have multicolored manes.
>Horses don't have ridiculously large eyes.
>Horses don't look strangely cartoon-ish.
>Horses don't fly.
>And horses DEFINITELY don't talk.
>Yessir, horses do NOT carry any of those traits.
>Yet as you look at the strange creature hovering in front of you, 'flying horse" is the only way to properly describe it.
>...
>You rub your eyes again.
>It's still there.
>The flying horse is currently regarding you with an expression of pure, unadulterated bewilderment.
>Horses cannot be that expressive.
>You're positive you can one-up it.
>Are you dreaming right now? Hallucinating?
>It has to be one or the other. There's no possible explanation aside from those two.
>The flying horse unfolds its crossed forelegs, pointing a hoof at you.
>Horses should not be able to bend their legs like that either.
>"You don't look like a diamond dog."
>That sentence registers but does absolutely nothing to quell the raw confusion swarming your head.
>You've lucid dreamed before. Thing is, you can easily determine when you're in a dream. Everything feels... different, for lack of a better term.
>But the rain splattering against your exposed skin...
>The individual drops weaving their way down your face...
>The soaked clothes pressed against your body...
>Everything feels /very/ real.
>But this flying horse can't be real.
>Flying horses do not exist in the real world.
>"What /are/ you?"
>Your eyes focus back on the strange creature, whose bewildered expression hasn't faltered in the slightest.
>Maybe you're hallucinating.
>Eh, you don't do drugs. You're a model citizen... mostly.
>If you're hallucinating, this is one hell of an image your brain whipped up.
>You don't think you're imagining things.
>At least, you hope you're not.
>...
>Or do you?

>>30674290
>"Can you understand me?"
>That question is enough to halt your slowly growing uneasiness.
>You regard the creature with what you hope is a cool stare, but is probably a mixture of shock and wariness.
"What are you?"
>If it's not a hallucination, then you must be dreaming. That /has/ to be it.
>You're impressed with your ability to come up with such a vivid flying horse.
>Impossibly, the creature's eyes widen even more.
>"You can /talk/!?"
>What the hell kind of question is that? You're insulting yourself.
>You raise an eyebrow.
"Yeah... What are you?"
>"I'm a pegasus. Are you some sort of alien?"
>You learned two things from the flying horse's response.
>One: it's a pegasus. You know what a pegasus is, and probably should've made the connection sooner.
>Two: it's female. A little tomboy-ish, but undoubtedly female.
"No. I'm a human."
>Her wonderment falters for a second, nose wrinkling in puzzlement.
>"What's a human?"
>Okay, you're not going through this. All you wanted was to get directions... in a dream.
>God dammit brain, get your shit together.
>So now what?
>Ask her for directions? Maybe she knows.
>You chuckle.
"I'm a little lost. Mind telling me where Denton is?"
>"Who's that?"
"No, it's a town nearby."
>The pegasus frowns, wings steadily beating to stay airborne.
>"There aren't any towns here aside from Ponyville."
>Ponywhat?
>There's a nagging feeling stirring in you again, one you hoped would go away.
>The cerulean horse hovers over to you, making you instinctively step back.
>Once again, she raises a hoof, only this time it reaches out to you.
>To move or not to move?
>Your indecisiveness settles the dilemma as she pokes your chest, her hoof pressing into your wet shirt.
>You felt that.
>"Are you /sure/ you're not an alien? What's with the clothes?"
>Before you can respond, she flies behind you.
>In the time it takes you to turn around, she's already returned to her spot, making you do a clean three-sixty and look like an idiot.

>>30674295
>"Where's your tail? What's with the bag?"
"Tail? I don't have a tail."
>Your reply is met with a scrutinizing glare, water steadily dripping off the tuft of hair in front of her.
>You can feel each individual heartbeat reverberate through your chest, the sensation only furthering your unease.
>A dream. This /is/ a dream.
>"I think you're an alien."
>The delivery is deadpan, her conclusion one of upmost certainty.
>You shake your head, the pegasus comically responding with nods of her own, a grin emerging with each passing second.
>Without warning, she explodes.
>"This is /so/ COOL! I'm the first to see a real, live alien!"
>Her hooves fly up to her cheeks, eyes bulging slightly as she squeezes them.
>Is she dense?
"I'm not--"
>One moment she's freaking out a few feet away, the next she's inches away from your face.
>Understandably, you let out an involuntary noise of surprise as you stumble back, almost slipping on the slick grass.
>Her reaction is doing fuckall to quell your anxiety.
>The invasive pegasus pays no mind to your antics, leaning in eagerly.
>"Where are you from? How did you get here? Do you have a spaceship?!"
>The questions are fired one after another, giving you no chance to answer even if you wanted to.
>From this distance you can make out the color of her irises: moderate cerise.
>Such a small, insignificant detail.
>"Of COURSE you have a spaceship, how else would you travel?! What does it look like? Can I see it?!"
>At this point you raise a hand, hoping to hell the exuberant horse will stop.
>You're not doing well. Everything feels too...
"I... am /not/ an alien."
>Despite the excessive moisture outside, your throat is dry.
>Thankfully she lets up, her excitement fading as she takes in your words.
>"I only know of two species that walk on two legs, and you don't look like either."
>Her brow furrows as she ponders the new predicament, still maintaining a steady rhythm with her wings.

>>30674307
>You're mildly impressed she can fly in the rain. Feathers don't work too well when wet.
"Which ones?"
>"Well, first I thought you were a diamond dog, but you're not. That only leaves minotaur, but you don't have a tail!"
>...
>"What'd you say you were?... A 'human'? Never heard of it. Maybe Twilight knows, I can always ask her."
>You have no idea what the hell a diamond dog is, but you're quite familiar with minotaurs.
>Straight from Greek mythology, the important thing to note is they /don't exist/.
>Yet this flying horse... this /pegasus/-- ALSO straight from Greek mythology-- compared you to one.
>You've become more aware of the rainfall and its low din, equivalent to a hum.
>The pegasus in front of you is still wrapped up in her own thoughts as wet fingers fumble inside your pocket, eventually retrieving their prize.
>A slight press of your thumb, and you're once again gazing at the lock screen.
>No Signal.
>You idiotically attempt to wipe away the water lining the top, observing the deformed picture thanks to the thin layer of moisture.
>With a few effortless movements you're treated to the main menu, all your apps available at your fingertips.
>...
>"Woah! What's /that/?"
>The pegasus has taken to your side, staring at your unlocked phone in amazement.
>You don't know when she got there and at this point you don't care.
>Quietly, you slip the device back inside your pocket.
>A dream.
>"Can I see it? I promise I won't break it!"
>Words that barely reach you.
>Your head turns to and fro, looking around at the dim landscape.
>Grass.
>Hills.
>A town you've never seen before.
>...
>You look back to the pegasus.
>"Just one--"
"Where am I."
>Three short words are enough to make your heart-rate rise, reaching levels best suited to strenuous activity.
>Even though this is a dream.
>All because you're acknowledging a possibility.
>The flying horse ceases her begging in favor of a large smile.
>"Welcome to Equestria!"

>>30674314
>She spreads her forelegs wide in a grand gesture you know for a FACT horses can't do.
>...
>One last thing.
>You pry your hands from your sides, balling them into fists as you bring them up in front of you.
>One.
>One finger is raised.
>Two.
>Another finger rises.
>...
>Three.
>A third.
>...
>Focus Anon.
>Four.
>...
>Five.
>Your open hand is an unsteady mess.
>Breath.
>Six.
>/Focus/.
>...
>Seven.
>"What're you doing?"
>You're vaguely aware of how shallow your breathing has become.
>A bad thing, considering your heart-rate has kicked into overdrive.
>Stop.
>Your legs aren't faring too well either, and you roughly drop to sit on the ground.
>The world is spinning.
>You have to focus, Anon.
>Breath.
>Focus.
>You're not going insane.
>You can't.
>...
>The pegasus.
>The rain.
>This grass.
>Everything feels /real/.
>But it can't be.
>This can't be.
>You're having difficulty breathing.
>/Focus/.
>Calm down.
>Calm down.
>Calm. Down.
>...
>Not working.
>You're losing it.
>If this was a dream, you'd have woken up by now.
>You're trying.
>God knows you're trying to get a grip on reality.
>But it's hard.
>No one told you maintaining your sanity would be this hard.
>Then again, no one has ever had everything they knew turned upside down.
>So many what-ifs.
>It's easy to say they'd be cool as a cucumber.
>Easier said than done.
>Every time you try to rationalize your current predicament, another part of you points out exactly why it cannot be.
>Except it clearly IS.
>A lifetime of imprinted knowledge does not simply vanish on the wind, and you're paying the ultimate price.
>Who would've guessed you'd have a hands-on experience in going insane?
>Not you.
>You give a few more pathetic callouts to your brain in hopes that it'll have a change of heart, but it's not budging.
>Fuck.

>>30674323
>In the midst of your meltdown, you become aware of something touching your knee.
>Can't be your hands, they're too busy being pressed against your face.
>You pry your fingers open, staring down at the culprit.
>A pale cerulean hoof rests against you, owner unseen.
>That is, until a face slides into view.
>Nope.
>You hastily cover your eyes once more.
>You're stuck between a rock and a hard place, but at least you're well acquainted with the rock despite its very recent renovation.
>Admit it Anon.
>You knew.
>You knew something was off. Denial works but for so long.
>This is real.
>This /can't/ be real.
>It's OBVIOUSLY REAL.
>But it can't be. These things shouldn't exist.
>You can't accept it.
>No matter how hard you try, you can't wrap your head around it.
>You.
>Are.
>Losing it.
>It hurts.
>Your head hurts.
>You're suffocating.
>Feels like you're about to explode.
>You want it to stop.
>You want out.
>There's pressure on your shoulder.
>You don't care.
>You're doing your best to scrounge up enough sense to focus, but it's tough work.
>Every available thought is rerouted to the same instruction: Panic
>Start small.
>Open your eyes.
>Do it, Anon.
>With herculean effort, you force your eyelids up, sliding your hands to the sides of your head.
>Oh right, it's still raining.
>Next up is breathing. Less erratic, more controlled.
>Before you can attempt so, a rainbow-maned head pops into view.
>Not real.
>Goddammit.
>Go away. You want to fall apart in solitude.
>"Are you okay?"
>You almost miss it.
>Such a rhetorical question.
>You are not okay.
>You are as far away from "okay" as anyone can possibly get.
>That piece of self-reflection is enough to annoy you.
>Before, you were staring at your waterlogged surroundings, paying little mind to the oddly-proportioned mythical creature near you.
>Now you give it due attention, arguably a very bad idea considering your current mental stability.
>...
>It looks worried.

>>30674332
>Concerned, even. Mixed in with a hint of apprehension.
>Horses cannot look concerned.
>"What's wrong?"
>It's only now that you realize it... no, /she/ has long since stopped flying, taking a seat somewhat close to you.
"Everything."
>The word departs with little resistance, a faint whisper nearly lost in the steady hum of rain.
>Your response was automatic, a simple answer to an impossibly complex question.
>You don't care who-- or /what/-- said it.
>You saw a potential lifeline and desperately clung to it.
>The pegasus wilts at your lackluster reply, grimacing a bit.
>"Oh-kayyy... Well... Can you be more specific?"
>Jesus Christ, where to start?
>You don't know where you are. You're talking to a pegasus.
>...
>Actually, those are the only two issues at hand but holy shit they are a /doozy/.
>Your hands unsteadily make their way to the back of your neck, offering a poor massage.
"I..."
>Your voice is hoarse despite the low volume.
"I... Where am I."
>A name was mentioned before but flew in one ear and out the other.
>"Equestria. I'm guessing you've never heard of it, y'know, since you're an alien."
"I'm /not/ an alien."
>Your thoughts come to life, spoken more in assurance to yourself rather than the pegasus.
>/She/ is the outlier. /She/ is the odd one out.
>Her nose wrinkles as she adopts a dubious look.
>"Then where are you from?"
>A simple question.
"Lynchburg."
>A blank face is your only response.
>Please.
"North America?"
>A short shake of her head.
>This isn't helping. At all.
>You croak out one last question.
"Earth?"
>"As in Earth Ponies?"
>...
>Your hands return to your face, sliding against the built-up moisture.
>Every time you think you've composed yourself, something else hits you over the head and sets you back to square one.
>"If you're lost, I'm sure we can figure something out."
>Her naiveté is more aggravating than touching.
>She has no idea what's wrong.
"This... none of this should be real."

File: EQG.png (133KB, 650x900px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 650x900px

>This thread
/mlp/ never changes

>>30674341
>You don't know who you're talking to.
"Flying horses do /not/ exist. I... don't know where I /am/."
>You're slipping now, your voice wavering.
>Each line spoken strikes deep, further pushing you to the point of no return.
"...I don't know. I'm losing it. I'm fucking LOSING IT."
>Any chance of pulling yourself together died with that declaration.
>Everything hurts.
>Your head wants to explode.
>You feel sick.
>You don't know what to do.
>You don't know what will happen.
>You want it to stop but you don't know how.
>You're completely and utterly helpless.
>...
>......
>It takes far too long to register the face near you.
>All you know is that's a face, emotion unknown.
>You're in no condition to process anything else.
>You think something is being said.
>Who cares.
>...
>You thought nothing could possibly break you from this newfound hell.
>Naturally you were dead wrong.
>Your brain goes on the fritz as an unexpected jostling puts your meltdown on pause, if just for a moment.
>With a sniff, you properly view the perpetrator, confused and still on tenterhooks.
>Hoof still resting on your shoulder, the pegasus eyes you warily.
>Beneath that, however, is obvious concern.
>You must look awful. Rainwater isn't the only thing sliding down your face.
>"I'm not too sure of the problem..."
>She glances away for a second.
>"...But I can help out with anything you need!"
>She finishes with a confident grin, the drenched tuft of hair blocking one of her eyes.
>Help?
>How?
>What you need is a second voice.
>Someone to bring you back to level ground and assure you're not going insane.
>You need comfort.
>This pegasus cannot provide that comfort, simply because she is part of the reason you're in such a mess.
>...
>There's really no saving you now, is there.
>With a strained sigh, you withdraw back into your personal bubble.
>Everything hurts.

>>30674348
>All focus is on the immense pressure building in your head.
>Any attempts to calm yourself once again come up woefully short.
>This can't be good for your health.
>You have no idea what's going to happen.
>You.
>Want.
>Out.
>The seconds lurch by, each passing moment spent in agony.
>...
>......
>"Ugh, you're really gonna make me do this?"
>The voice whines, displeased with... something.
>Although your eyes aren't covered, you pay no mind to your surroundings.
>You have no idea what the hell she's talking about.
>"Fine..."
>A pause.
>...
>"There... There."
>?
>"I have no idea what's wrong since you're barely making any sense, but... uh, everything will /probably/ be okay. I think. I hope... UGH, I'm not good at this, /okay/?!"
>The sudden switch from strained softness to exasperation catches you off guard.
>Straining to pinpoint the source, you discover that the pegasus is no longer parked facing you. In fact, you can't see her at all.
>A small turn of your head remedies that.
>The flying horse has taken to your side, the distance between best suited for close friends.
>It's only now that you take in the height difference, her sodden head slightly above yours.
>Speaking of, her head faces forward as she grumbles to herself.
>"I bet Fluttershy would know what to do. 'Oh don't cry, Mr. Alien. Here's a hug because I like to hug everything! Now turn that frown upside down and--'"
>Her falsetto impression comes to a screeching halt when she turns to you, eyes going wide in surprise.
>"Oh! You're awake! I was, um..."
>The pegasus lets out a shaky bark of laughter, looking away briefly.
>"Yeah, I got nothin'."
>...
>Her tuft of mane is brushed aside, an eye twitching as it falls back to blocking half her view.
>Deeming it a lost cause, she refocuses on you.
>"Look, obviously something is wrong since you've been sitting here all emotional-like for the past... long enough. But come on, is crying about it going to change anything?"

>>30674357
>At this point you've resigned to looking at the greyed sky, raindrops peppering your face.
>This one is truly oblivious.
>"I want to /help you/, but OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T if you don't tell me what's wrong!"
"You should not /exist/."
>It takes a great deal of effort to speak. You find that not looking at the cause of your problem helps a lot.
"Flying horses are /not real/."
>You've repeated this a thousand times over, and you have a feeling you'll do so a thousand times more.
>While you can't-- and don't want to-- see your conversation partner, she sounds irked.
>"Hey, I am /not/ a 'flying horse'! I'm a pegasus and I'm here talking to you, aren't I? I exist!"
>Not the words you needed to hear.
>Silence.
>You're trying to appreciate the downpour but it's a bit difficult when your head feels stuffed.
>At the moment, it's just here.
>"...I'm guessing there aren't any pegasi where you're from?"
>FINALLY. /Now/ she gets it.
>You shake your head, the motion so tiny you're certain she missed it.
>"Oh... That's not a reason to freak out."
>What.
>You have to restrain yourself from glancing over to her in raw disbelief.
>That's it.
>She absolutely does NOT get it, and likely never will.
>Why are you even talking to her? Listening to her?
>You want her to leave.
>There was a tiny, near-imperceptible sliver of hope you had.
>'Maybe, just /maybe/, she can help you.'
>Not anymore.
>Go away winged horse. You want to suffer in peace.
>"I've never seen... whatever /you/ are before, and I'm not going crazy."
>That sounds an awful lot like an insult.
>"Hay, I thought you were awesome! Clothes, no tail, that super-cool whateveritwas you used!"
>She's getting into it.
>"Yeah, awesome!... Until, y'know, all of this."
>You can practically feel the disappointing stare burning a hole in your side.
>Huh.
>She /did/ take the meeting a little better than you did.
>...
>A whole-fucking-lot better than you.

>>30674361
>You grit your teeth, still wishing for something to carry her away.
"You are a /myth/. An old tale."
>Another pause.
>"Hold on, you said pegasi don't exist where you're from..."
>Gears are whirring in her brain.
>Suddenly, a lightbulb.
>"So you've heard of pegasi, but thought they weren't real?... Hate to break it to ya but that's a lie, in case you haven't figured it out yet."
>Annoying /and/ a smart ass.
>Maybe if you inhale enough raindrops you can drown yourself.
>That would be fantastic right about now.
>"I thought you were freaking out because you saw something new. This is even WORSE!"
>Worst. Discussion. Ever.
"Holy crap, please stop."
>Your plea falls on deaf ears, only riling up the miffed horse.
>"You already know what a pegasus is!"
>With great difficulty, you speak in a low, defeated tone.
"If you were told something is fiction... a fairy tale, and then you found out that's not the case, how would you feel?"
>"...Surprised? It'd be unexpected, but I wouldn't wail about it. It happens a lot."
>You're convinced she's purposely fucking with you.
>Your head hurts but you can't tell if it's because of her ridiculous replies or your anguish.
>You're not sure which would be better.
>"Look, so what if you were lied to? I dunno about you, but I'd be pretty excited."
>Keep at it, rain. There might be enough water in your lungs to kick the bucket.
>...
>"Sooo, am I getting anywhere with this?"
"No."
>"Oh COME ON! What'dya want me to--"
"...Yes."
>"Huh?"
"I don't know. You're annoying, but..."
>Tearing your eyes away from the concealed sky, you look over to your conversation partner.
>Her face is scrunched, a raindrop falling off the tip of her nose as her eyes burn with resentment.
>You feel a slight twang of panic welling inside of you, but it's manageable.
>A first.
>"Annoying?! I'm trying to help you!"
"Yeah, 'trying'."

>>30674371
>Two forelegs fly up in exasperation, the pegasus sputtering as she tries to come up with a suitable rebuttal.
>"Gah, FINE. I /QUIT/! My special talent is /not/ in playing 'therapist' to aliens!"
>Your headache is getting worse. Her voice becomes a lot more grating when she yells.
>"When you decide not to be such a bore, let me know. I'd like to skip the lame part of meeting an alien."
>You ignore her flat glare, rubbing your temples in hopes of easing the migraine.
"If you'll /let me finish/..."
>A sigh.
"I feel like shit, but I'm not breaking apart."
>"You don't look that great either."
>...
>Her expression is flat but you can tell she has no idea what you mean.
"I don't feel better--"
>There's that glare again.
"--/But/ I don't feel worse. You're annoying, but you helped... I think."
>The pegasus shifts in place, unsure of how to take your "compliment".
>"Uh... great? You can stop calling-- HEY, you mocked me for trying to help, and NOW you want to say it worked?!"
>The lull was fun while it lasted.
"Mocked? I told you the truth."
>"Sounded more like an insult to me!"
"You're trying to help, and you're /also/ annoying."
>You're not kidding, she's aggravation-incarnate. She yells a lot, which is killer on your battered brain.
>But...
>With each back-and-forth, you're reminded.
>It's not the end of the world.
>This is real.
>You know that.
>You can't change it.
>What you /can/ change is this pointless argument with a cerulean pegasus.
>Sounds crazy on paper but her constant nagging has shifted your worry elsewhere, which possibly saved you from being stuck in an endless loop.
>You can question your sanity later. Right now you have a headache to nurse and...
>Fuck.
>"I don't know where you're from, but in Equestria that's NOT how we say 'thank you Rainbow Dash!'"
>You swear raindrops are evaporating upon hitting her coat, steam rising in turn.
>Rainbowwhatnow? Doesn't matter.
"I want to go home."
>Your stomach sinks as the realization hits once again.

>>30674376
>You have no idea where the hell you are.
>Not on Earth, that's for sure.
>"Pshh, /fine/. Where's your spaceship?"
>How many times must you say it???
"I don't have a spaceship... Why the /hell/ do you think that???"
>There's some serious skepticism adorning her face.
>"Because you're an alien! You HAVE to have a spaceship, how /else/ would you get here?"
>A hand slides down your face, getting rainwater into one of your eyes.
"I'm. Not. An alien. I don't know how I got here. I was walking through the woods and came out wherever the fuck this is."
>The pegasus frowns.
>"Whitetail Woods has always been there. You're not making any sense... again."
"I was walking through /my/ woods, the forest next to my house."
>A few seconds of silence follows, eventually marred not by words, but the low drum of thunder.
>You'd be more concerned if you cared.
>"...Let me get this straight: you walked through /your/ woods and ended up in Whitetail Woods?"
>You're going to take a wild guess and assume 'Whitetail Woods' is where you came out from.
"Apparently? I don't fucking know."
>"But... but..."
>Her brain is short-circuiting now, two and two failing to become four.
>"How?! That doesn't make any sense!"
"FINALLY."
>You cringe a bit as your head protests the outburst, but it was needed.
>NOTHING makes sense right now.
>Except you.
>You're still you.
>...You hope.
>"I flew over it earlier while setting up the weather, and there weren't any signs of a house... Are you lying?"
>Wow.
>Taking a moment to collect yourself, you proceed to speak slowly, enunciating each word so it'll sink in just how /stupid/ that question was.
"/Why/ would I lie about that. I do /not/ want to be here. I. Want. To go. /Home/."
>Your voice cracks towards the end but you're positive the message is clear.
>You want out.
>Another period of relative silence follows, the pegasus quietly observing you.
>You have no idea what she's thinking.

>>30674389
>She cranes her neck to look behind you, eyes trained on something.
>When she turns back, she's grinning.
>"If you came here through Whitetail Woods, I bet you can leave the same way."
>...
>There's a spark of tentative hope rising in your gut.
>Of course. It makes sense.
>It happened before, who's to say it won't work in reverse?
"Smart thinking."
>In all actuality it's a very simple conclusion, one you'd undoubtedly make under less strenuous circumstances.
>Still, you'll give credit where it's due.
>Now to get the hell out of here.
>With a pained grunt, you rise, head throbbing in turn. Walking is gonna be a bitch.
>The pegasus also stands, taking another futile swipe at her rainbow-esque tuft before rolling her eyes.
"Thank you... a lot."
>This migraine is torturous and you're eager to skedaddle, but you owe her proper gratitude.
>Aggravating as she was, she helped.
>The winged horse smiles.
>"Don't mention it! Today was pretty boring until you showed up. Even with all the crying and bad manners, you're still pretty cool."
>...Thanks?
>For the first time in what feels like ages, you feel the comings of a small smirk.
>You can't help it. Being so close to returning home is liberating.
"Right... Buh-bye."
>You don't wait for a response, instead turning around and starting the lengthy trek back to the woods.
>Finally.
>You'll be home soon.
>...Assuming it works.
>Don't be such a pessimist, Anon. It'll definitely work.
>You entered from the woods, you can leave from the woods.
>A hand raises once more to massage your temples as you walk, another round of rumbling thunder ringing through the landscape.
>Not a centimeter of you remains dry, the rain effortlessly penetrating your drenched clothes.
>Worst. Shower. Ever.
>You give your shoes a morose glance, now slightly more displeased with the upcoming journey.
>What a drag. Wet socks are the why is this pegasus walking with you.
>You stare at the winged horse paying no mind to your confusion.

>>30674396
>Her soaked winged extend, shaking out water that's replaced in the span of seconds.
>Growling quietly to herself, she speaks.
>"You're lucky you're an alien. I hate it when I can't fly."
"Why are you following me?"
>At that, she looks up, raising an eyebrow.
>"Didn't you hear me?"
"No."
>"Jeez, your sense of hearing is pretty bad. I said I'm coming along too."
>Why?
"Thanks, but I'm good. I can take it from here."
>The pegasus scoffs, earning a short-lived glare from you as your head pulses.
>"Yeah /right/. You're pretty emotional, almost as much as Fluttershy... She's a friend."
>'Emotional'? You've never been called that before. You'd never consider yourself an emotional person.
>Whether she uses it as an insult, compliment, or simple statement of fact is beyond you.
>Either way you don't like it.
>"Also I wanna see if there's a portal or whatever to your world. Imagine if I was the first to discover it! I'd be famous! Everypony would know me! My name would be remembered in history, and Twilight would be /sooo/ jealous!"
>The pegasus is riled up now, practically dancing on her hooves as she walks.
>So she's mainly accompanying you for a chance at being famous? You can live with that... as long as she keeps quiet.
>The small jaunt to the forest is uneventful. Progress is slow thanks to your headache and subpar weather conditions, but you persevere.
>Eventually grass gives way to exposed dirt, the thick canopy providing moderate cover from the elements.
>Although you haven't covered sufficient distance yet, you're still keeping a close eye out for a familiar break in the trees.
>"Cautiously optimistic" perfectly describes you right about now.
>You entered through the forest, you can leave through the forest.
>Ow, fuck. Stupid headache.
>"Where are you from?"
>Talking doesn't appeal to you, but only an idiot would've expected a conversation-free trip.
"Earth."
>"The ground?"
>You're starting to detest that look.
"Planet."
>"What's it like?"

>>30674403
>You groan.
"Why do you want to know?"
>"I gotta be prepared! I'm going to a whole new world, who knows what to expect? Giant pony-eating monsters, dangerous traps at every turn... oh this is gonna be awesome!"
>...
>What.
>The.
>/Hell/ is she talking about?
"You're not coming with me."
>The small horse freezes, mouth open in shock.
>You of course, make no effort to wait, keeping up your stride.
>A few seconds later, curiosity makes you check behind you.
>She's already returning to her spot beside you, eyes narrowed in displeasure.
>"Why not?"
>Why is that even a question? You're in no mood to entertain this.
"Because."
>Silence.
>"'Because' what?"
"Because I said so."
>"I'm not a /foal/, give me a straight answer!"
>Foals are young horses, right? She thinks you're treating her like a child.
>She's right.
"You said you're going to check see if there's a portal or something."
>A scoff from her.
>"Yea, and I'm also gonna come with you to your world! You're crazy if you think I'd miss that opportunity."
>Your headache is flaring up again, making you massage your temples. Placebo or not, it helps.
"Not happening."
>Her wings extend for the briefest of moments, then she scowls, returning the waterlogged appendages to her side.
>"I /want/ a straight answer."
>And you want her to shut up, but you can't always have your desires.
"Because you don't belong there."
>"What does that even mean? /You're/ not from /here/."
>You practically hiss at her.
"/Yes/. That's why I'm /leaving/."
>To your surprise, there's no immediate response. Instead she's focused on you, expression unreadable.
>You return to staring straight ahead, realizing you slipped up from keeping an eye out for salvation.
>How long have you been walking?
>"You're lame."
>Keep looking forward, Anon.
>"Anypony else would DIE for the chance of visiting a new world, and what do /you/ do? COMPLAIN. You meet ME, a totally-awesome pegasus, and you think you've gone NUTS! What is WRONG with you?!"

>>30674412
>You should be asking her the same thing. Not only did she barely bat an eye at discovering you, she was /thrilled/.
>"I thought you were cool, but it's obvious you're just a Lame-O. Fluttershy has more guts than you, and she's afraid of almost EVERYTHING."
>That's supposed to be an insult, obviously, but you don't know enough about this "Fluttershy" to take major offense.
>As it stands, you're mildly irked at her words and very agitated by her volume.
>Your eagerness to leave has nothing to do with guts, or fear.
>You only want everything back to normal.
"Please stop, my head hurts."
>To no one's surprise, she ignores you.
>"I'm starting to have second thoughts on visiting your world. /ME/. Adventure is my middle name! But if /everypony/ there is like you, why even bother?"
"Everyone is different."
>Not the response to give when you DON'T want her to accompany you, but you've had enough of the one-sided conversation filled with baseless accusations.
>"I'd HOPE--"
"I WANT--"
>You raise your voice so it carries over hers, taking stage and demanding attention.
>Several tense seconds tick by, your gaze never drifting to the side.
>You're no longer in the mood to look at her.
"I want to go home."
>The volume is much lower now.
"I have nothing against you or this place. I'm sure someone else would love to be here, but I don't... sorry. I have a wicked headache, I'm tired, and my socks are wet. I want to /relax/."
>The complete truth.
>...
>"Fine. You're not lame, just boring... and emotional."
>Despite her words, you smile softly to yourself.
"You're right, I /am/ boring."
>Nothing wrong with boring.
>Not too far ahead trees disperse, signifying a break in the woods. A welcome sight, if not for the significant lack of house visible.
>Are you back home, on Earth?
>Your pace increases, a hand digging into your pocket to retrieve your phone.
>The electronic device is wet to the touch and almost slips out of your hand, but otherwise functions with no fuss.

>>30674417
>No Signal.
>Piece of crap. Utterly useless.
>Back it goes as you approach the end, your heart-rate quickening.
>You don't care anymore if the pegasus follows you. You can almost taste freedom.
>Less than a minute later, you arrive.
>As you expose yourself to the dreary sky, you stop.
>...
>Everything looks the same.
>Same green pastures, same hills, same judgmental pegasus.
>"Here we are. If there's a portal anywhere nearby, let me know 'cuz I don't see anything."
>She proceeds to look around, exaggerating her movements this way and that.
>You barely notice.
>This has to be a mistake.
"We walked straight, right?"
>Your voice is strained.
>"I dunno, I was following you. Don't you know where you're going?"
"Straight. I know..."
>"Listen, uh... Big Guy. Are you /sure/ you came through a portal? I already said I flew over Whitetail Woods today. Didn't see anything unusual. I'd check again, but..."
>Another futile shake of her wings.
>"Jeez, what a terrible day for rain."
"I..."
>You frantically look left and right, observing the imperfect line of trees stretching far.
>While the direct path ahead is clear, a hundred or so yards to your right shows the forest continuing forward.
>That has to be where you came from.
>It /has/ to.
>Wordlessly you start off, taking the turn you know you didn't make yet clearly did.
>"Where're you going /now/? You said 'straight'."
"Mistake."
>"I'm not sure there's a portal here, or anything here. It's just trees."
>You stop on a dime, whirling around to face the winged horse who nearly crashes into you.
>You're not proud of the desperation creeping into your tone.
"I came through here, so I /have/ to leave through here... right???"
>...
>You absolutely hate that look.
>There's also a part of you that's grateful she didn't answer.
>The trip is spent in relative silence, only the rainfall heard over your incessant thoughts.
>So the pegasus finally put a cork in it. Took long enough.

>>30674426
>Now you can focus on more important things, like finding your house or /anything/ that looks familiar.
>As it stands, all you see is plant-life and trees.
>How long have you been at this?
>You know you've been walking for longer than it took to reach... whatever this world is.
>There has to be something here to send you back.
>There /has/ to.
>Came through here, leave through here.
>That's how it works.
>Your head is killing you.
>"... I /really/ don't think there's anything ahead."
>Shut up.
>"Maybe you made another mistake? I dunno."
>Shut. Up.
>"...Are you listening?"
"Please..."
>Stop. Just stop.
>Brain feels stuffed again.
>Everything is spinning.
"Shut up."
>Your voice is weak.
>You amble over to a nearby tree, laying your arms against it to provide less-painful support for your forehead.
>Nothing.
>There's nothing ahead.
>You weren't mistaken the first time.
>You have no idea what's going on.
>There's a returning feeling of panic rising in you, now mixed with a healthy dose of helplessness.
>Only this time instead of going insane you're not sure whether to laugh or cry, both out of frustration.
"Today..."
>You whisper hoarsely to yourself as you chuckle lightly, no trace of humor to be found.
"Today has been... a /shit/ day."
>Your eyes are burning.
>Home seems so far away now.
>You don't know how long you spent standing there, letting the rain assault your back.
>You eventually become aware of something pressed against your leg, and you quit staring at the bark to pinpoint the source.
>The pegasus stands next to you, a foreleg propped on you in what is presumably an attempt to comfort.
>Unlike before, however, her cerise eyes are filled with genuine pity, ears lowered for whatever reason.
>She doesn't say anything even as you make eye contact, only continuing to lightly pat your pants leg.
>...
>Reluctantly you turn, her hoof slipping off as you now rest against the tree with your shoulder.

>>30674428
"I don't..."
>You sound miserable, you voice gravely from the day's swing of events.
"I don't know what to do."
>You don't know how you got here. You don't know where you are. You don't know how to /leave/ and once again, you have no clue what's going to happen.
>You are completely and utterly /lost/.
>The pegasus remains silent, glancing at the tree in thought.
>Whether she has any ideas is beyond you but with how much she was chattering before, you wish she'd say something.
>"Twilight."
>?
>The pegasus looks back to you with a small smile.
>"Twilight. If anypony can help you it's her. She's really smart, /and/ a princess."
>A princess?... Well, the Brits still have 'em.
>At this point you'll take any lifeline thrown your way.
>You sigh, rubbing away some of the moisture on your face.
"Do you know where she is?"
>"Of course! I'll take you to her."
"Thank you."
>You mean it too. She can be aggravating at times but makes up for it with her assistance.
>"Hey, don't mention it... Uh, do you have a name?"
"Yeah. Anon"
>"Anon, huh? My name's Rainbow Dash, but you can call me Dash for short."
>You remember her saying those two words a few times, but largely ignored it at the time.
>What kind of name is "Rainbow Dash"?
>...Then again, she's a winged horse.
>You nod, storing the name away for later use.
"Thank you Dash."
>A wing extends, performing a motion awfully similar to one shooing away a compliment.
>"Seriously, it's cool. I wouldn't leave you by yourself all like this. You've had a rough day."
>You also feel terrible, but you're intrigued by the lengths she's taken to assist someone she just met. A species she's never even seen before.
"Thanks."
>"Stop--"
>A wing is raised to press against her face.
>Wings shouldn't move like that.
>"Never mind. Come on, let's get to the castle. This weather sucks."
>You'd give her flak for dissing rain, but you'll admit it's lost a bit of its luster since you've been here.

>>30674438
>You could do with dry conditions right about--
>Wait, a castle?
>Now you're mildly curious.
>You rise from the tree, grimacing at your unrelenting migraine.
>All this walking isn't doing a thing to help relieve it.
>Dash patiently waits until you're fully upright before taking a few small steps away, checking to make sure you're following.
>You fall in slightly behind and to her side, resuming the gentle massaging of your temples.
>Your expectations for meeting Twilight are low. Very low. EXTREMELY low.
>But if there's a chance...
>"So, uh... Anon?"
>You're physically and mentally exhausted, but you can entertain her for a few minutes.
"Yeah."
>"Just a heads up: Twilight can get a little... /excited/ when she discovers something new."
"Okay."
>It's obvious you don't get it, so Dash continues.
>"I mean /anything/ new. She's probably gonna freak out when she discovers you're an alien, so... be prepared."
>Only one part of that got through to you.
>You purse your lips, repeating the already-timeless words.
"I'm /not/ an alien. Please stop calling me that."
>Dash looks up to you with incredulity.
>"Of /course/ you're an alien. You're not from this world."
>Not the reminder you wanted.
>"Nothing wrong with being an alien. Why, are they considered evil where you're from?"
"No, just... weird."
>"/You're/ weird, so I'm not seeing the problem."
>...
>Don't push it, Anon. You'll go down a path with no winners.
"Thanks."
>Her head shoots up to glare at you, but the stone faced expression makes her simmer down.
>"...Oh, that was sarcasm."
"Yeah."
>And she thinks you're the emotional one.
>If things were different, you'd likely enjoy messing with Dash.
>You'll settle for exchanging misconstrued opinions.
>Not the most effective way of dealing with the situation, but hey.
>It works.
-------

>>30674445
Pastebin for whatever reason: https://pastebin.com/hn5zh87p

Criticism needed, etc.

WARNING: REALLY shitty blogpost inbound

15 days. 15 fucking days for such a short piece of green. The original prompt was posted on 7/22. Depression is practically a meme with how many people claim to have it but when it strikes, it hits hard. Even writing one post's worth of content in a goddamn DAY was/is a chore. I want to put out more, actually decent content but it's hard and it sucks. A lot. The final product is mediocre, but a few of you may like it. Now, on to the actual green.

First contact is an overused, stale-as-fuck situation that's been done time and time again. I didn't think I could bring anything particularly spectacular to the table except a small change, which you saw. It can be a change of pace to approach certain scenarios from a "realistic" PoV (reactions will always vary, but you get my point).

This was supposed to be a slightly more fuzzy story until I decided to use Dash. It would be easy (and cliché as fuck) to use someone like Fluttershy, but I was hoping to put a spin on it by using a character who can't into comforting.

Keeping Anon's thoughts coherent to readers while still displaying his mental deterioration is fucking hard, and I know it needs work. He's also prone to missing details but such an extreme position, would you not also focus on your own well-being? I tried to keep that in mind while writing.

That's basically it. I don't know whether or not to continue this, partially out of concern for myself and partially out of interest from others. If I do turn it into more than a one-shot it'll be a breddy glum fic and considering I like to match the emotions of whomever I'm writing, I'm not sure I could handle being morose for so long.

/shitty blogpost

>>30674455
Jesus... thank you for story.

>>30674455
good story

>>30670812
I like JoJo, but I'm really sick of Jojo crossovers.

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>>30674445
>>30674455
Really interesting story and I like how he isn't instantly man whore but is trying to stay sane. Also using a biology student is definitely interesting considering most stories ginda gloss over the human character's background. Out of curiosity are you a bio major?

>>30675799
I'm not.
Amusingly enough, I did in fact gloss over the character's background; I just happened to randomly pick a city with a university. Not saying that I wasn't thinking of how to characterize Anon, rather I wasn't interested in the location since it would pop up for a few sentences at most.

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>>30674455
>wubba lubba double dubs

Thanks for using my prompt, and thanks for writing a story that looks like you put genuine thought into the situation and interactions.

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I'm thinking about writing a AiE story where anon tells the Mane6 the entirety of the Harry Potter over the course of a few sleepovers with reactions chapter by chapter.

I figure it'd be fun to think about how they would react.

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>>30676825
>Give Twilot the first book
>Shows up at your doorstep a day later for the next one like a twitchy crackhead
>Dasheh gets in on it too.
>Dosh is worse than Twiglot
>and has a knife
>It's a butter knife

>>30676825
That'd be great. Fucking do it slut. And I want all of the series done. No wussing out on me.

>>30676825
Go for it, sounds like a good read.

>>30676920
even worse, give her discworld, enjoy never having closure

>>30677469
She's smart enough to toss it inna trash before that.

>>30676920
>Give complete Tolkeinverse
"Forget the eagles- couldn't they just have teleported to Mount Doom?"

>>30677508
All seeing eye had teleport blocks and anti-airpone batteries

A classic from 2013:
-----
>Day marketing in Equestria
>You are goin around touching ponies on their cutey marks.
>Makes em say weird stuff.
>Twilight: I LOVE BOOKS.
>Fluttershy: *high pitched squeak*
>Rainbow: WATCH ME DO A SONIC RAINBOOM.
>Pinkie: I LOVE TO PARTY! DO YOU LOVE TO PARTY?
>Applejack: HELP ME BUCK THESE APPLES?
>Rarity: IM A SHALLOW BITCH!
>Hmm. That last one was odd, bu doesn't surprise you. Oh well, on to touch other ponies awkwardly.
>Lyra in a demonic voice: GIVE ME YOUR FINGERS, MORTAL.
>Bonbon: *sigh*
>Braeburn: AAAAAAPPPPLLLLLLOOOOOOOSAAAAAAAAA!
>Ponies are starting to get pissed at you at this point, but fuck them! This is too much fun!
>Luna: I'LL BRING ABOUT ETERNAL NIGHT!
>Celestia looks at her weird.
>"No! No, it was an accident! They put the wrong chip in me!"
>But she winks at you. You know what's up.
>Celestia: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU BRUSH MY MANE!
>Derpy: *QUACK*
>DJ PON3: WUBWUBWUB
>Octavia: NO, FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T KNOW THE PONY POKEY.
>Sombra: CRYSTALSCRYSTALSCRYSTA-
>Today was a touch all the ponies day.

>>30676825
How about The shack william p young?

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>>30674455
O shit you're back. Welcome back. It looks good, flows really well to me anyway. Do what you want, it seems like you've been through a lot in the past few weeks lad. I am, however, all for a continuation of this, and am interested in seeing what you can do; your The Magic Touch story was a very good read for me

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another blast from the past
-----
>Pinkie is giggling uncontrollably
>more than usual, you mean
"I shouldn't ask, but what's so funny?"
>she picks up a balloon
>lifts up her tail, and holds the open end to her anus
>and BBBPPPPPPPVVVVVTTTTTT
>fills the balloon with a fart
>and hands it wordlessly to a passing pony
>who sucks in the contents in one enormous toke
>then staggers sideways and collapses giggling to the ground
>you stare at Pinkie in disbelief
>"I fart laughing gas."
"That's chemically impossible."
>"You're in a brightly colored magical land where dragons eat gems that should be vastly harder than their dental enamel and don't damage their digestive tracts. You're surrounded by pegasi with tiny wings and unicorns who can rewrite reality by shooting magical forces out of their horns. The sun and moon are manually lifted above the horizon and manipulated by our Princesses--openly, in front of us. It's awfully sudden to be surprised by impossibilities, isn't it, Anonymous?"
>you stare at her for a very long time
>she fills another balloon from her asshole ("BBBBBBBBFFFRRRRRPT!") and hands it to you
>and pats you on the head
>"You look like you could use one."
>it was a day of ontological mysteries

>>30677737
>>30678199
Some much to choose from and you couldn't repost anything good? twice?

>>30677737
>celestia
>I love it when you brush my mane
>not "LETS FLY TO THE CASTLE"

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Is there any stories where Anon is living in Equestria for a long while, and then another human shows up?

pic unrelated

>>30672240
>>30674455
You got talent.

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>>30658345
>oh, look, Princess Pinkbutt and her boytoy Surfer Dude are visiting from the Crystal Empire
>get your swag on
>walk right up
"Your Highnesses," you say, addressing them both as Prince and Princess of the Empire
"I believe that an urgent manner has arisen."
>Surfer Dude is rolling his eyes and motioning his wife to come with him
>Purpledrank must have told him about you
>drat
>but wait, she's interested
>"And you're the human, right? What's the nature of the problem?"
"I hear you've got a pink butt."
>"Pardon me?"
"And it's made of marshmallows and candy."
>"I don't understand."
"Because you are what you eat."
>"Honey," interrupts Surfer Dude
>"I think Twily mentioned that this one asks inappropriate questions."
>"Are you implying my butt isn't important?" she asks, winking at you
"Yes, this is a subject of great importance."
>"Tell me more. You fascinate me."

>>30674455
Hey TWG. I liked thing. Certainly a different take on first contact that I've personally read. I think a normie would react this way. Thinking they've become unhinged. I don't think it would have to be glum for too long though as I'm sure he'd try to adjust. Even with the attempted help from a pony "...who can't into comforting." ( I think I liked that twist the most.)

I've read you stuff before. "Last Resort" and "Magic Touch" are my favorites. I think you'd be able to write a good first contact story and I look forward to reading it should the mood strike you.

___________________boop_______________________

>>30680387
I think we ran out of butts.

>>30673569
>"Hey kid, wanna sound sophisticated?"
"Yeah!"
>"Okay. Repeat after me. 'I, in the interest of merriment for both parties, would like to propose an engagement of copulation.'"
"I, in the interest of Mary Meant, would like to proclose an engaged ment of copslation.'"
>"Alright. My place or yours? Doesn't matter, we can go behind that shed."
"What? Where are you taking me?"
>"You made an offer and I plan to collect."
"No I didn't. You made me say that."
>"Yeah, but that argument wont hold up in court."
>"Actually Rainbow, according to the legislation of Pony Law 'All statements are counted as true because no one would lie' and 'They who smelt it dealt it.'"
>"I need to stop asking you in front of Twilight."

>>30678645
I'd like to see a story like this, but the OG anon is normal and cool and the other person who showed up is like a total fadora wearing neckbeard who constantly hits on ponies and saying "m'lady" while complaining that on his planet "gentlemen" like him were shunned by harlots and degenerates like Anon.

>>30682798
There are four million butts in Canterlot, each with a story to tell.

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>>30682747
Shameless.

>>30682798
"Hey-- uh... what was your name again?"
>"Muffins! My friends call me Derpy though!"
"Right, Derpy, you uh..."
>You find yourself trailing off as you study your latest 'victim'.
>The mare before you beams with an optimism unlike any pony you've seen before.
>In her eyes you see an untarnished child-like wonder.
>A mare beholding the world and seeing only beauty.
>Someone who, despite all the chaos of the world, still believes in the goodness of people.
>And then there's you, here to drag her down to your level.
>The momentum you had been building travelling around the kingdom commenting on butts seems to fizzle out in all but a moment.
>And in the awkward silence that follows you can only manage a nervous smile.
"You have... nice eyes."
>She seems surprised at first, but her grin quickly returns.
>"O-oh! Thanks mister! People don't compliment my eyes all that much, most people find them weird."
"Nah, they're cool."
>"Well thanks a bunch! Anyway I gotta go, see you around, mister!"
>She hugs your chest, squeezing you tight, then shoots off to attend to whatever business she has.
>You stand alone in the street, watching her go.
"Bye, Derpy..."

>>30683647
>You notice your reflection in one of the windows
>With a half hearted attempt you do the only thing you can
"I heard you have a big butt."
>You break down and cry

>>30683697
And kindness claims another victim.

>>30683697
>>You break down and cry
What a pussy.

>>30672240
"Perhaps for now, though I would not doubt a way could be found given enough time."
"What your land lacks in technological advancement it has made up for in other areas."
>"There's so much we can learn from just the wreckage of your ship. I mean just look at these..these"
>Ivy waves at the sketches realizing she doesn't have the appropriate word. "Hydraulics" you offer letting her continue.
>"Yes the hydraulics, there are all sorts of practical uses this could be turned to if we can recreate them."
>"The same is true for many parts of your ship, admittedly less so the armaments on the front."
"Yes, those are generally built for a single purpose. Now is there anything I can assist with while I am here?"
>Ivy considers your offer running a hoof through her mussed up mane.
>"Well since you've offered maybe you'd be willing to give me some examples of how this technology is used in your society so I can add that to my notes?"
>Giving them the capacity to build a hydraulic winch doesn't seem like the kind of world destroying information you hope to keep from the ponies.
"I have had no formal training by the Ordo Mechanicus but I shall share what I know."
>You describe to Ivy what you've seen of the Mechanicus construction engines.
>The titanic earth movers and cranes that reshaped the face of Caliban after the Emperor's arrival.
>Ivy who sat in rapt attention while you spoke nods excitedly once you conclude your description.
>"With that sort of technology we might be able to make the western wastes habitable."
>"One of those digging machines you described might be able to drill deep enough to reach an aquifer."
"It can also be used to build arcologies in less hospitable climates."
>"What exactly is an arcology?"
"It is a self contained city. They have been built on many worlds and are often used when conditions above ground are inhospitable to life."
>"That is an interesting idea. I wonder if..."

>>30683931
>Ivy trails off as her head slowly droops forwards and hits the desk.
>Either the noise or the impact startle her back to wakefulness as she sits bolt upright. "I'm awake!"
>You give her a doubtful expression.
"Professor, perhaps it would be best if you took your rest and we continued this another day."
>"Much as I hate to admit it you may be right."
"I will escort you to your home then."
>"Thank you but that's no necessary I can make it" Ivy's statement is interrupted by a long yawn. "On my own."
"Forgive me, but you just fell asleep mid sentence, I will accompany you to make certain of your safety."
>Looking too tired to argue Ivy relents and gathers up her things.
>Her home is not far from the university campus, one of the smaller buildings tucked in between the sprawling manor houses of the elite.
>Ivy's home, while not as spacious as the others around it, appears well kept.
>A waist high gate bars entry to the premises, though for he ponies it would be a much more intimidating barrier.
"I trust you will make it from here Ivy?"
>"Yes, thank you. Please stop by again soon, I think we'll have a lot to discuss once I'm awake enough to get back to work."
"I shall do so as time permits. Farewell for now Ivy."
>"Have a good day Anon." The Professor says before shuffling past the gate to her house.
>The rest of the day passes with little of interest occurring.
>In the evening you visit Luna's court, and she seems glad for the company.
>That night you take your rest, this time unbroken by visions of otherworldly horror.
>Several more days pass in this comfortable routine and you know the Princesses wished to honor your act of bravery at the gorge is growing close.
>This morning you are attempting to put final touches on your newly complied tome of tactics.
>Well tome is a generous term. It is only a few dozen pages in length, hardly a Tactica Imperialis, but still.
>With Moondust's assistance it came together quite nicely you think.

>>30683933
>You are just about to pen the last line of when a loud knock at the door interrupts.
>The servants would have announced themselves politely so that is safely ruled out.
>Suppressing a sigh you put your quill aside and rise to see who is at the door.
>Pulling the door open you see Stormy Shield standing before you in her uniform sans helm, a travel bag slung over one shoulder.
>"They told me this is where you were staying, I figured I'd come say hi. Bastion is here too but I think he went to find his room down in the barracks."
>Stormy looks behind you and knits her brow. "Hey how come you get to stay in the guest suite and we got stuck in the barracks?"
"It is good to see you as well Stormy"
>You say deciding to address her statements in order.
"And I suspect I am staying here because I am too large to house in the barracks, also I was never formally made a guard."
>One of the servants who happens to by passing by stops near your door. "I didn't know you were having visitors Sir, should I bring any refreshments?"
>Stormy is just short of scowling at you at the moment.
"Some of those pastries from before, and juice if you would be so kind."
>The servant gives little bow and scampers off to the kitchen.
>"They gave you a private room and servants?" Stormy huffs.
"No, the servants are simply helping me since I had beaten several of the minotaur guards that were harassing them."
>"Why do you get all the cool stuff and get to do everything exciting?"
"Would you forgive me if I told you I had been working on a special training exercise for the guard to run, and that I could use your assistance?"
>"Maybe." Stormy says warily "What kind of assistance?"
"I will let you be one of the wing commanders for the pegesai in my plan."
>"Alright, but I get to eat as many pastries as I want and lay on that bed when I feel to sick to move."
"Very well, agreed."

>>30683935
>You stand aside from the door and allow Stormy entry. She tosses her bag to a corner of the room and wastes no time making herself comfortable on the bed.
>"So what exactly is this training exercise that you had to write a book for?"
"It was a first combat exercise for the guard recruits and a test of my skill as a commander."
"Princess Luna conjured up simulacrums of a xeno breed known as Tyranids for the guards to fight."
>"Was that your really wordy way of saying the Princess had the guard train against aliens?"
>Keeping your expression blank you nod.
"Yes that was roughly my meaning."
>"So we're gonna run that training exercise again?"
"Yes, though this time I have a number of new tactics I wish to test. I believe it will spare us some of the casualties we suffered before."
>You open the page to the section with pegesai tactics and hand the rough bound manuscript to Stormy.
>Her eyes scan the pages as she slowly flips through. "This sounds like it's gonna take a lot of work to get right, but it'll be awesome if we do."
"You will assist me then?"
>"I'm supposed to have three whole days off before we get our medals, but I'd kick myself if I passed up alien monster combat training."
"I shall discuss this with the other then. With luck we may be able to begin tomorrow."
>The servant returns with the refreshments and Stormy directs her to place them on the nightstand.
>"Good I'll have a day to hang around Canterlot before I have to do anything." She says while helping herself to the food.
>You stop the Servant before she leaves.
"Does the Princess have any scribes in her employ?"
>"Yes we have a few, did you need to dictate something?"
"No, I need several more copies of this made as soon as possible, if the Princess does not have them working on more pressing matters."
>You offer up the manuscript to the servant. "I'll see what I can do sir."
"You have my thanks as always."

>>30683937
>The servant departs leaving you with Stormy, who when her mouth is not full informs you of the goings on at Everfree garisson in your abscene.
>Things have been relatively quiet other than a minor infestation of parasprites, which are apparently some manner of small ravenous insectoid.
>You in turn tell Stormy of the run in with the Ambassadors guards, and the aftermath there of.
>By the time the two of you have finished exchanging tales it is nearly noon and Stormy has long since finished off the last of the food.
>The serving mare returns to clean up the empty try and informs you.
>"The scribes say they'll have a few copies made by this evening and there's a visitor waiting for you downstairs. He said he's from the jewelers."
>"You having yourself a crown made to go with the royal treatment you've been getting?" Stormy says in a teasing tone.
"Nothing so ostentatious. Just a jewel encrusted scabbard for my sword."
>"Wait seriously?" She asks blinking in surprise.
"No, it was a jest."
>You head down to meet your visitor, an overfull Stormy trotting along beside you grumbling.
"Well met, you have news for me?"
>You ask the Stallion you assume to be one of the jeweler's apprentices judging by his apparent youth and the emerald and chisel on his flank.
>"Yes, we were hoping you could come by the shop, we think we have your order ready, we just need to make sure everything sits properly."
"Ah excellent news. Stormy perhaps you wish to settle in while I accompany him? I won't be overlong."
>"Alright, but don't do anything fun without me." She says giving a wave before vanishing back in to the castle.
"Lead on."
>You tell the jeweler's apprentice.
>You travel away from the manor houses of the nobles attempting to crowd as close to the castle walls as possible and out towards the crafts district.
>The jewelers shop occupies a two story building, a large sign suspended above the door proclaiming his craft.

>>30683940
>The interior is brightly lit, the cut jewels in their display cases throwing rainbows across the wood paneled walls.
>The Jeweler who is standing behind the counter pulls out a cloth wrapped bundle as you approach.
>"Thank you for coming so quickly. I believe I have your order sorted out, just need to check a few things. If you don't mind."
>He gestures for your helm which you take and place gently on the counter.
>He unfolds the cloth bundle revealing your newly cut eye lenses and begins trying to fit them in to place.
>After a few seconds of fidgeting with the rubber gasket lining the eye it clicks in to place.
>He repeats the process for the other and turns the helm on the counter to face you.
>"If everything looks all right try it on and see if that'll do for you."
>You take your helm and place it on awaiting the moment of truth.
>You look around the now crimson tinted room and a screed of readouts projects down the lenses.
>You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding, deeply relieved that your helms optics weren't damaged when the previous lenses broke.
"You have done excellent work and have my eternal gratitude. If I have any work in the future I will bring it to you first."
>"Oh well thank you, always good to have a repeat customer."
>He slides the cloth bundle to you. "I'll have the bill sent to the castle. These are are some spares if for any reason those don't work out."
>You take the cloth bundling it up tight before stowing in carefully in one of the compartments of your armor.
>With lenses in place your armor is one step closer to being whole again. While you're in town might as well check on the progress at the blacksmith.
>You acquire directions from the jeweler and head over.
>Out in the streets your helms auto senses swarm with movement notifications and range markers, you blink click those to the side reflexively.
>Two weeks without them has hardly been enough to put off three centuries of habit.

>>30683941
In the words of the great George Takei... Oh My!

>>30683941
Thanks to everyone for reading so far and for the compliments.
Here's the updated pastebin as usual https://pastebin.com/4DcZLrJe
I think I may have to start a second paste for the rest of the story, that one is starting to bog down whenever I try to update it because there's so much in there.
Possibly because I missed short story length and started moving towards light novel.

>>30683947
I was trying to find a picture of his Eau My cologne add to reply to that with but I can't find a good sized one and got lazy fast.

>>30683948
im loving it

>>30683955
Glad to hear it. There's still a fair bit more to go, we're at about the 2/3 mark right now maybe a little past.

>>30683948
Pastes cap at 500kb, so keep that in mind when you inevitably go over the limit.

>>30684059
Ah, good to know, thank you.

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Here's something I've been working on for a couple weeks.
Chapter 2 should be out around the same time.
http://imgur.com/a/alaHf

>>30684402
>Pony forgive
>He fake dead
Talking about drama, I LOVE IT!

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>>30684402
De fuq is happening... Can't wait to see more.

>>30683615
You want one too?

>>30683948
Good job Fallanon. Great world building and story progression. I'm looking forward to the rest.

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>You sit up on your chair, watching your little menace play as innocently as it gets for her. Poor Sir Bearington gets slammed into the ground by his feet then she violently swings him around before leaping up onto the couch to finish him off with a piledriver. Moonie leaps up onto her hind legs with her forehooves spread out, as if she's proudly showing off for a crowd.
>"What?" Moonie defensively asks with a nervous laughter.
"Nothing, it's just interesting watching you play sometimes."
>Now you've grabbed her attention as she leaves Sir Bearington a defeated heap and moves closer to your chair.>
>"How so?"
>"I dunno," you shrug, "It's almost as if you're not like twenty times my age."
>Moonie's face scrunches up at your remark.
>"And how exactly is a millennia-old immortal supposed to play?"
"You know what I mean, stop trying to pick a fight."
>"Pick a fight?" An overly offended Moonie barks, the tiniest hint of a smile peers out from the corners of her mouth, "I'm not trying to start a fight, you are!"
>Now you lean back in silence and flick your book back open to the bookmarked page. Moonie, however, is not finished with you. She leaps up onto your lap and pushes the book away from your face.
"Yes?" You remark calm, feigning ignorance.
>"You never answered my question," giggles Moonie.
>You let out a brief sigh as you now know she's not letting go of this for some reason. For a moment, you wonder if she's offended by that remark about her age or if she's really just out to start conflict to amuse herself. But it's clearly the latter, it's always the latter with her.
"Normally, at least with humans, they muck about less when they get older--"
>"Please, you're like a hundred and you still play with me."
"Well, that's different."
>"How?"
"I have the maturity of an eight-year-old human. Nobody taught me to grow up."
>"I don't know how humans mature with age or anything about you freakazoids," she scrunches her.
"Freakazoids?"
>"Yeah, cause you're weird."

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>You laugh and let the topic die out, but Moonie remains seated. Her attention remains fixed on you as she gives you a look you've seen a million times before, she wants you to entertain her. Her hooves pad your lap and her eyes are beady with expectation.
"Speaking of not knowing anything, what was Equestria like a thousand years ago."
>"Boring."
"That doesn't answer my question."
>"Well, I don't know what is you're probing for."
"I'm not sure. I'm only asking out of general curiosity. What did people do, what did the place look like, how did they speak, and so on and so forth."
>Moonie takes a moment to ponder your questions before slowly replying, "They did the same things I guess. I never left Canterlot at the time but that place has barely aged, except for the cafes really. As for how they spoke, that was always really funny."
"How so? Any funny words?"
>"Everyone always spoke loudly because Luna did it, with lots of thy's and thou's."
"Like the days of Shakespeare pretty much."
>"Who?"
"Famous writer back in the human world."
>"Oh... How come you never told me any of his stories?"
"I'm willing to butcher stuff from movies and books, but not people like Shakespeare."
>Moonie cocks an eyebrow at you but eventually shrugs and rolls her eyes at you before continuing.
>"I can't really think of any funny words... It was more just how people spoke that was funny."
"Ah... Okay."
>"Though there seem to be a few words I liked that are now gone."
"Like?"
>Moonie leaps down from your lap and grabs Sir Bearington. She tugs and pulls at his limbs as she thinks to herself.
>"Asunder was a great one. I think I've heard it once or twice, but I'm not sure on that."
"Asunder?"
>"Yeah, like to put or tear apart. To be torn ASUNDER!"
"Heh, right. Of course you like that one."
>"OH! Bibliopole was a funny one."

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>You let out a brief chuckle as it sounds almost like she stuttered and repeated a syllable there, but it might also just be the word.
"And that is?"
>"A book merchant."
"Huh. Neat."
>"Periapt, which is an amulet. Scaramouch, which is both a coward and a braggat. Egad, you'd use that to exclaim surprise pretty much. There's desiderate, Oh, yonder was another I liked. You use it like "over there," to wander over yonder."
>She awkwardly rocks to herself for a moment then freezes when you speak.
"What's desiderate?"
>"Desiderate?"
"Yeah."
>She pauses and makes a few popping noises with her mouth.
>"Well, I'd use it in reference to you."
"Like a guardian or caretaker?"
>"No, it's a verb."
"Oh, okay. What's it mean?"
>"Actually, that was an awkward way to describe it. Forget it, I don't really remember what it means."
"Are you serious?"
>"Yep. Leaving it at that," she bellows and she scampers to her room.
"Guess I'll have to ask the princesses one day," you mumble to yourself.

desiderate
/dJˈsJdəɹeJt/
verb archaic
To feel a keen desire for something that can be lacking or absent. To miss, to feel the absence of, to long for.
"I desiderate the company of someone I love."

Pastebin Link: https://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra

>>30685785
GNNNNYYYYGH!!!!
I desiderated these stories.

>>30685785
Real fucking gay.
Why is everything you write cute?

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>>30685785

>>30684402
I'm sorry, but, pffft...ahahahaahaha...HAHAHAHAHAHAA - that was honestly, the most retarded thing I've ever seen

>>30684402
I'll admit I'm curious. Can't say if I like.or dislike it with so little to go by thus far.

>>30685785
I like this word.

>Princess Celestia thoroughly brushed your mane and tail while the two of you talked about how to introduce the concept of magic to someone like Anonymous.
>She even moved back to your mane after she was done with your tail, which, you concluded, must've meant she actually liked doing it.
>You were about to tell her that your mane must've been fine already, but then realized there was no-one else whose mane she could do while casually chatting about something she's interested in.
>Your mind jumped to some unpleasant conclusions about her being lonely despite being constantly surrounded by ponies, leaving you at a loss for words.
>”Hm? Did you come up with something?”
>Celestia noticed your sudden silence and inquired about it.
“No. It's just... I mean... Why did you go back to brushing my mane when you were done with my tail?”
>You hoped she didn't mind you asking a silly question like that.
>”It is not very often that I get to do that to someone, even if I'd like to. So, I treasure every moment of it.”

>>30688232
>The brushstrokes stopped, and you turned around to see her looking out of one of the windows with her eyes focused on something you couldn't see.
>”I am worried, Twilight.”
>The usual grace of her voice was gone, and her tone was lower than usual.
>”I went to see him before you woke up and asked him to tell me of what he thought as the most important moment in their history. He... told me of the Sun King and the French Revolution.”
>She paused to let out a sigh, which you thought sounded sad.
>”His people are no strangers to bloodshed, tyranny, slavery and war. Their history is full of examples of conquest, colonialism and extortion of the weak. They even discriminate each other based on color. I cannot risk Equestria becoming a target of such practices.”
>Her voice steadily filled with determination as she went on.
>”We must find out how he managed to break through the barrier separating our worlds and do what we must to make sure it can not happen again. Even if...”
>Celestia let out another, deep sigh and let her head droop down.
>”Even if it means he will become stuck in our world, where no-one will ever truly understand him, for the rest of his life.”
>She ended her monologue in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

>>30688236
>You were at a loss for words.
>Sure, you had considered that he could be dangerous.
>But the way he acted and spoke...
>No, you could not believe that he bore any ill will.
>It was not as if Celestia's concern was completely baseless, though.
>Even if Anonymous was what he seemed to be, the rest of his kind could be different.
“What should I do, then?”
>An image of Princess Ember and the dragons floated to the top of your mind from the depths of your memory.
>”Keep doing what you have been doing, and try to make him feel welcome. Try to find out why he came here.”
>The memory of Ember is suddenly replaced by a memory of Princess Luna.
>”'He needs your help, Twilight Sparkle. Ask him why he came here.'”
>When Luna had made her request, she had not had the safety of Equestria on her mind.
>She and Celestia wanted you to do the same thing, but for very different reasons.
“I will do my best.”
>You did not mention what Luna had said.
>It felt like it was something she would've told Celestia herself if she wanted her to know.

>>30688243
Short-ass update because I am tired AF and quite sure I won't have time to write tomorrow or the day after.
Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/5m1dnQZ0

If you see anything that looks wrong, tell me. Even if it's just bad grammar or a typo. I'll fix the pastebin.

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>>30676825

“Anon, anon!” Twilight Sparkle yelled as she galloped down the corridors of the castle towards Anon’s room. She had been tinkering with an experimental charging system for Anon’s ‘cell phone’ (a device that’s purpose seemed moot on a world with no other devices). Anon had been wanting it functional for a little over a year, but after spending so much time without the thing it was no surprise to Twilight when she told him it was operational all she got back was a confused look.

It wasn’t until it was back in Anon’s hands that it hit him what this meant. “Yes!” He bellowed, Twilight’s excitement was but a modicum of Anon’s celebration. It was like he had just won the lottery. He fiddled with the device for a second before the room was filled with the sound of music, Anon banging his head to the beat. Twilight watched with a bemused smile, she was going to leave him along with his music until he said. “Hey Twilight! Wait!”

He pulled her into a hug, thanking her for this miracle of science. They sat on Anon’s bed and he played short clips from his favorite songs, she didn’t seem to share his love of metal. He also showed her pictures on his phone, pictures of his family, his friends, his planet. He took special care to look at each picture before showing her just in case. Suddenly he stood up straight after seeing something that made him go wide eye with surprise. He looked at twilight.

“What? Did you find something else?” She asked.

He nodded. “I’ve found a book.”

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Twilight straigtened up at the sound of this. “Really? What kind of book?”

“Only the best selling book in my world ever!” He said. “It’s a fictional tale of magic and sorcery.”

It was Twilight’s turn to look confused now. “I thought you said magic wasn’t real in your world?”

“Fictional Twilight, fictional.” He elaborated as he thumbed through the folders and subfolders. “We already talked about this, remember when we first met?”

As Twilight went on a trip through memory lane, a voice suddenly came from the phone. It sounded older. “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone.” It said before Anon switched it off.

Twilight looked at him. “Was that it? Does your phone read books?”

Anon chuckled, he looked back down at his phone. “No, but this gives me an Idea.”

Anon thanked Twilight for her help then chivied her out of the room quickly. She was glad that he was happy about the phone but a bit annoyed at the quick dismissal. She didn’t stay upset long however as she had a sleepover to plan for.

Anon however had taken to town to gather certain supply’s for his little ‘idea’ behind Twilight’s back. First on his list was to pay a visit to a certain boutique.

Later on that evening Twilight’s friends had arrived and the slumber party was underway. Rainbow Dash had only just started to suggest truth or dare when the door to the living room burst open. It was obviously Anon silhouetted in the door, he wasn’t wearing his usual attire however. Tonight Anon wore a tall pointed hat with an absurdly large rim and a set of long flowing robes. He was also carrying a very large and heavy looking cauldron.

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All the mares looked at Twilight who was staring at Anon with clear annoyance. “You know the rules Anon, tonight is mare’s only.” Anon’s smile however did not falter as he waltzed into the middle of the room where they all were and dropped the cauldron which made a very loud bang as it hit the floor. Fluttershy nearly jumped out of her skin from the noise.

“Eat it,” Anon said to Twilight when his eardrums stopped ringing. He lifted his hat and removed Spike from his head and sat him next to him. Spike didn’t even bother looking toward Twilight who seemed about ten seconds away from tearing Anon apart molecule by molecule and rearranging him about a mile away.

“Anon...” She growled menacingly. Her voice shook with suppressed anger. She always hated when Anon messed up her carefully laid plans.

Anon spoke. “Tonight my little ponies, I bring to you a tale from my world!” He announced looking around the room. He spoke in a kind of showcase voice like he was introducing a band. “It is a tale of Mystery, of Magic and most of all of Friendship. None of this would be possible without my best friend Twilight Sparkle, give her a hoof!”

A round of hoofclaps caught Twilight off guard. It wasn’t easy to be angry when you were being applauded, instead she met in the middle with a huff and turning her head away from Anon.

“What’s the big pot for?” Pinkie asked, looking inside of the completely empty cauldron in case there was something she missed.

“Acoustics.” Anon said before he lay his phone inside the metal appliance, and with the press of a button the same older voice from earlier filled the room.

“Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone, by J.K Rowling. Read by Stephen Fry.” And just like that, the mares had begun the journey into the wizarding world of Harry Potter.

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>>30688247

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>>30688581
Very nice start, good characterization, good everything. Looking forward to all 7 books.

>>30658733
There's a zipper just out of view.

Anon chases the ugly mares because he isn't picky and will put his dick in anything.

>>30689955
>Anon chases the ugly mares because
he can't tell they're ugly, all pone is cute in the eyes of Anon

>>30688247
Short but good. Thank you very much.

>>30690580
Oh he knows.
The ugly ones are easier to catch.

>>30658666
Looking through the Master List makes me really sad, for some reason.

So many dead stories...

>>30658686
MOMMY

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>>30691738
>tfw one of the dead

>>30691769
>Not being a lich like me.

>>30691769
Cheer the fuck up bby

>>30691738
>>30691769
Six years. Time really move fast.

>>30692898
>Ancient by Internet Time stories
I'm reading Mandroid's "Bros in Equestria" at the moment. It has held up pretty well and I'm not ashamed to admit it's already drawn manly tears from me.

>>30692873
Maybe when evetS comes back to draw more arts for us.

>>30693303
That one's a classic.
Of you can call any self insertion fan fiction based on a property aimed at little girls written by grown men classics?
Or women, in the case of Pheno Barbie Doll. Gawd, I miss that writing

>>30693303
Really? I thought it hadn't aged well.

>>30694184
mandroid pls

>>30694281
What? I can't help that I love ALL these dicks.

>>30693303
>Bros in Equestria
Very much a product of that early fandom era, but but still good.

Fillydelphian's Table For Two is still my absolute favorite AiE story.

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>>30694505

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>>30691738
>tfw old friends are gone and no longer use their tripfag name
>tfw they dont use any of the mediums AiE has, like skype or IRC
>tfw soon no one left to talk to about "the good old days" as that old skype chat and IRC are dead

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>>30695987
>implying the irc was ever alive.
I don't think there's ever been more than 5 people in there regularly, and half of them don't even pon anymore.

>>30695987
I actually keep up with a small handfull of the old guard.
Most are doing okay, just other responsibilities pulled them away from pone at one time or another.But all of them look back on the time they spent here fondly.

>>30695987
Plenty are still on Skype but I've noticed if they frequent any chat, it'll be one chat only. Some you're better off just PMing instead, or have better luck on shit like discord. It's a pain in the ass.

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I've been away from here for the last three months or so and I have several greens still in the works.
However I no longer see threads like the strange waifu or the low self esteem.
Are those threads gone for the time being or has AiE become the home for all Anon based greens?

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>>30695987
I still have a bunch of them on skype, though with the exception of two, I can now go months between talking to any of them.
But by and large, I'd go with >>30696010 statement that life pulled them from pone, but they remember AiE well.

For my own part, I'm mostly just writing for Satyr now, and only pop into AiE very occasionally. Not that there's any problem with AiE, but I guess as time goes on, you find yourself drawn more to a more focused topic, compared to the more free for all nature of AiE.
I feel like this is a good place to get your feet wet in the green writing world, but if you're making something about a specific subject, it helps to put it somewhere for people with that specific taste.

>>30696876
Nah, most of /mlp/ seems to still be Anon greens. Strange waifus just kinda died, and nobody's made a new thread yet.

>>30695987
I've always been on steam. I wouldn't mind if someone said hi.

>>30697209
Hi.

>>30696919
Alright then, thank you.
I'd feel bad if most of the threads I took the requests from no longer existed.

>>30691738
We're not all completely dead, sometimes we come back as zombies.

There used to be a femdom thread in which I would write horrible degenerate smut. It seems to be gone too.

There are other chans, but they're even deader than this place.

>>30695285
GOOD taste

>>30695987
I remember you

>Month 11 in Equestria
>you are Obstetricianonymous
>soon after appearing in Magic Hoers Land you got a job at the Ponyville Horsepital
>you see every day first hand, subtle unicorn magic
>the swiftness of the pegasi
>less obvious, but no less impressive, once you understand, is the freakish strength of Earth Ponies
>their entire bodies are supernaturally powerful
>this includes the, ahem, pelvic musculature of mares
>hence the old saying, “Once you go Earth Pony, you never go back”
>but enough woolgathering
>the horsepital is holding a “Foalympics”
>dozens of hugely pregnant Earth Pony mares are due to give birth today
>the beds are wheeled out into the parking lot as you watch
>pads with bullseyes painted on them are laid out tens of meters downrage
>you’ve been asked to coach the expectant mothers
>a meek-looking pale Earth Pony mare is raising her nethers at an odd angle
“Push, Mrs. Blossom! Just one more--”
>”HNNNNNNNNNNNNG” *SQUIRT*
>the foal pops out and flies over twenty meters, gaining eight meters in altitude
>you’re seeing some impressive performances today
>though it doesn’t look like any records will be set
>Earth Pony mares giving birth compete for altitude and distance, apparently
>In Year 972 of the Celestial Era an Earth Pony mare named Pea Shooter squirted a foal over thirty meters
>reaching a maximum altitude of twelve meters, winning the gold medal in the 972 Foalympics in Baltimare
>and setting a world record that still stands.
>it was a day of athletic excellence

>>30697725
2spoopy

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>>30658906
writan

>Be Anon
>You're currently sitting around in the Royal SIsters' castle in Canterlot with nothing to do except take a giant shit.
>All the princesses who are supposed to be watching you to make sure you don't do stupid shit in public are in some fancy meating with some foreign dignitaries or something
>You don't happen to care too much
>So with nothing to do, and a big wad of feces clogging the pipes down there, you decide to let loose and push out a nice bowl movement.
>After a few minutes, the turd safely out of your anus and in the toilet water, so you flush the toilet and walk out.
>Without washing your hands.
>You think of telling Twilight about it later, as she'll probably flip the fuck out.
>Yeah, you'll do that.
>But as you're lazily roaming the halls, whistling https://youtu.be/0jut0-_tMN4 to yourself, you hear a scream
>You think that is a familiar scream
>You've made Celestia scream like that on more than one occasion
>There's the one time that you tied a rat to her horn two and a half minutes before she woke up (you counted)
>There's also the one time where you motorboated her weird horse vagina until she almost drowned you.
>You were about to get jealous and burst onto the scene asking for the bastard who was fucking your favorite horse, until you realized that this was a scream of the "rat dangling in front of your face when you wake up" variety.
>You quickly stealth your way towards the room where you thought the meeting was.
>You don't get far though, as you are forced to move out of the way of a screeching white bullet train with a long ass horn and fuckhuge wings.
>As she barrels past you, You can't help but notice that brown thing floating above her head
>You silently chuckle to yourself, congratulating the dignitary who pranked Sunbutt
>You were currently in a prank war with her, and you had to admit that she had gotten you good that morning

>>30693556
I finished the story proper and have about 12 of the "bonus" chapters left. Calling it "a classic" is fitting indeed. I'd even say it is a fine work of literary art. Literature should evoke emotions and it certainly did. My feels were punched and I shed many a manly tear.

>>30694184
>hadn't aged
har har har

>>30695285
>Fillydelphian's 'Table For Two'
Seems it's been abandoned on 'the site that shant be named'. Is there a more complete version in a bin somewhere?

>>30700537
Filly gave up writing pone to try and be a real fiction writer, that was over 3 years ago and I haven't heard from him since.

>>30695987
I guess life moves on, everyone has moved to other things.

It sucks

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>>30700360
>It was a pretty cruel jig, but you had done something equally cruel the night before, so it was fair.
>You had replaced her pillow with about 35 half-eaten, rotten apples in a pillow case.
>In return, she had stolen all of your towels and replaced them with every single cumrag you had used since you started living in her castle. And locked you in the room until you either airdried, or used a cumrag to dry yourself off.
>But today, it seems like you wouldn't need to do anything much
>Although you still had to put one over her by the end of the day, or your name wouldn't be Anonymous F. Aggot.
>Literally
>Celestia promised the legal removal of your name if you didn't follow the rules of the prank war, so you did have something at stake.
>You come back from your reminiscing to a very unamused sunhorse staring you down with contempt.
>"Anonymous, care to explain?"
"Huh what?"
>She points up with a hoof.
"That's a turd. Celestia, why is there a turd above your head?"
>"I don't know, Anon, I thought you might know why that showed up above my head during a very important meeting?!"
"Well, sorry to disappoint you Sunny, but I have no fucking clue how that got there."
>"Sure, Anonymous the prankster has no idea how a floating poop ended up above my head!"

sorry, but I can't keep going, if you want to pick It up, go ahead.

Just graduated college.
No idea what to do now.
Where's my portal to horseland?

>>30700936
Why not, are you being kidnapped?
If you have a smartphone, why don't you call 911 instead of writing greentext for neckbearded manchildren?


I like where this is going though

>>30701061
not /soc/, but what did you major in? find a job doing that.

if you chose a major that does not lead to gainful employment allowing you to repay the student loans, you have Fucked Up and there is no help for you, sry

>>30701090
I'm an IT major so I should be fine.
It's just weird to be finished.
Still mad no dimensional rifts have opened beneath me.

>>30700537
As far as I can tell, it's all there on Filly's pastebin.

>>30695285
I wanted to say something about this days ago but I forgot. I agree with exactly what you said, Anon, and it's why I kinda feel like the story hasn't aged well.
Early on in it, there's so much stuff that was staples of early fandom crap that I couldn't just do away with later down the line that it just feels weird to read. I like the events I wrote and the characterization, I just wish I'd put the words down better. I probably would if the whole thing wasn't 250,000 words by now.

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Good morning everyone, this Lux hat here over with the one man anon comic team. Here to give you a quick developer update.
We're looking at some quick patch notes for the upcoming chapter 2 titled, No Returns or Refunds.

Buffs
>Increased comic size by more than double
We found that the first chapter was too short and didn't give the reader enough information to work off of. So we increased the pages per chapter to a whopping 25 pages.

>Increased the page resolution.
Giving the pages a resolution buff so that smaller details like the huddled together ponies in chapter one aren't like trying to make a statue of david on a fucking needle head.

nerfs:
>Decreased over all quality of panel drawings.
Because of the increase and pages and resolution to cut down production time.

That is all I have to say for you today the chapter is halfway finished and should be out in a couple days. We look forward to what you think about the new chapter thanks guys!

>>30702019
There's literally nothing wrong with something fitting neatly into the era in which it was created.
No matter how much you changed, it would still have to be seen through the context of these threads and the fandom in general to be meaningful--it's an AiE story, after all.

Let it stand, man(droid)

>>30702019
Not that Anon but I agree with >>30702166 . The fic is a product of its time and it is through that frame of mind that I read it. I've been around the fandom almost from the beginning and I got nostalgic for those early days while reading the fic. Maybe that eschews my opinion a tad but I stand by what I said in >30700537. It deftly played my emotions and that makes it is a fine work of art in my book.

Does anyone have the links to a old low self-esteem thread? I want to resume working on my green but I need the paste links before I can bring the thread back.

>Horse pussy.

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>>30703340

I'm surprised the archive still goes as far back as it does despite Moe dying. I've been meaning to do this for a while now before it disappeared from existence.

Salvage of Autumn Leaves by PaleNarrator:
https://pastebin.com/13yGVa5c

>>30703340
>>30703449
The only thing that matters in life.

>>30702166
Oh fuck no, I'd never change a word of the weird and stupid stuff. I may not think it's my best work, but I'm against revising things just to hide what I feel is not my best presentation. I think it's a good thing that people can look at the first thing I wrote compared to the latest thing I wrote and see a climb in quality, it shows growth.

I just finished rewriting the first part of my green from a old thread. Since the thread is dead should I just post it here since it technically does involve Anon?

>>30703172
Our self esteem is too low to look for the link.

>>30704090
Sure. It's called "AiE" for a reason.

>>30704259
I thought "aieeeeee!" was the noise the mods made when they read all our horse porn.