Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1126

Threadly reminder that AchingScaphoid is ded. :(

>>30560947
Tripfags in Equastrial

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threadly reminder that ur cute

>>30561146
fagstrip in Equestria

>>30560947
nearly 5 hours and the thread is still not at 250 replies, AiE is RIP

>>30560947
>Celestia not tower over anon
God, want to vomit.

>>30562719
thats because that anon is a professional basketball player, well over 2 meters

>>30562719
>implying alicorns arent the size of actual ponies
>implying ponies arent the same size as dogs
>implying foals arent the same size as cats
>implying thats not why celestia calls her subjects ”my little ponies” instead of because she s just bigger or because she sees them as her children

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>>30562719
It's not called My Little Pony for nothing. Though some parts are less little than others.

>>30562706
I can't believe we haven't made it through 6 new threads already. The end times are truly upon us.

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>>30562757
My headcanon (yes, I know, I know) is that the poners are somewhat larger than that, based solely on the assumption that Opalesence is a normal-sized cat and not a tiny kitten or some kind of weird tiny technicolor horse land miniature cat.

I also assume that a lot of what we see in the show is cartoony exaggeration and artistic license, so to speak.

I imagine the "normal" ponies as being smallish Shetland or Falabella pony sized, the smallest of the common pony breeds, the littlest ponies there are short of "miniature horses" that people keep as pets. They'd be mainly 10-12 hands high, or about 4'6" to 5' tall to the top of the head. A petite mare might weigh as little as 200 pounds, a big stallion might get up close to 400.

And I imagine Celestia, since she looms over everyone else like an enormous looming thing that looms, to be equivalent in size to a dainty and petite young adult mare of one of the smallest breeds that is regarded as an actual horse rather than a pony--an Arabian. I figure her at around 15 hands high at the withers, and a bit over six feet tall, if we're talking about the top of her head and not counting the ears or horn. She'd weigh around 800 pounds except for the wings and associated bone and muscle, which would bring her up maybe to 900-1000, still in the very-small-for-an-adult-horse range. (IRL big draft horses like Clydesdales would utterly dwarf her--a healthy young Clydesdale stallion at 18 hands high can get close to a ton and a half, and be nine and a half feet tall if we are just going to the top of his head). Luna and Cadence are just a bit smaller than Celestia.

This is just my autistic rambling and is worth what you paid for it.

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>>30563046
Found a picture for you.

>>30562917
Indeed.
Some pieces of falling sky almost fucked up my car today. Luckily I got home in to to get it in the garage.

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I remember when we needed almost 2 threads a day and now we can't even get 15 replies in 6 hours

>>30563128
And if you think that's autistic I have also worked out figures based on that, for wing surface area and wing loading. Assuming she has 45 square feet of effective wing area--her full wingspan is pretty impressive but we don't see her show it off often--and weighs 900 pounds, that's 20 pounds per square foot wing loading, roughly similar to a lot of 1930s era high-performance aircraft. She ought to require several hundred horsepower to get into the air at all and ought to have a stall speed somewhere up past 50 mph--very low for an airplane made of metal with an internal combustion engine, but enormous for flesh and blood.

If Rainbow Dash weighs 200 pounds and has 20 square feet of effective wing surface (possibly a stretch), she has by contrast ten pounds per square foot of wing loading, which would put her in the same wing loading range as most World War I biplane fighter aircraft, and would still need nearly 100 horsepower to get off the ground and cruise or climb without slowly gliding back down.

IRL nothing that is made of flesh and blood and has more than about 5 pounds/square foot of wing loading can get off the ground at all.

Presumably Equestria has a denser atmosphere, lower gravity, higher partial pressure of oxygen, or all three. Or maybe they fly via pony magic and the wings are just sort of vestigial.

>>30563166
you just going to keep making member when posts?

Would you like some green I've written over the past few days?
It hasn't been proofread and the idea only solidified after I'd written a bit so I'm not sure how interesting it is. Plus, I wrote parts of it uninterestingly on purpose.

>>30563212
it's magic
dealwithit

>>30563212
I like to believe that ponyland has a denser atmosphere and a higher oxygen concentration, though similar gravity. (90% vs 96%) I also think that magic is something their world just HAS compared to ours. It's a part of nature and everything has it to some degree, which helps a lot for unicorns and pegasi.

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>>30563791
>mfw anon feels he needs to ask to post green
just do it you glorious faggot

>>30563791
Please.
Drown the current sperg with green.

>>30563795
So, Earth is a high-gravity death-world with thin air and insufficient oxygen for most Equestrian life to live comfortably, though it's not immediately lethal. HFY, anyone?

>>30563799
You seemed to be having fun with all the sperging and stupid headcannons.

Prelude
>The sole purpose of this book is to help ponies understand the alien in our midst.
>Their first reaction, as far as I am aware, to the appearance of the first member of the as of yet undetermined species was violent; Princess Celestia was barely able to convince them that the unconscious being was not an immediate danger.
>To keep the alien safe from the more xenophobic ponies, I and the other princesses have decided to hold the alien captive for the time being.
>We have also decided to study this creature through a series of tests to determine its nature.
>Until we learn to communicate with said being, we have decided to call it "Anonymous"
>P.S. Anonymous did not wake up until I had progressed to the end of Chapter 3. I decided to leave the earlier chapters as-is despite him disproving some of the claims I made once we learned how to communicate with him.

-Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Frienship

>>30563856

Chapter 1: Arrival into Equestria
>The alien appeared in the middle of a busy market square in Canterlot on a Saturday morning.
>Quoting one eyewitness: “At first, there was this annoying, high-pitch hum that went on for about a minute before anything else happened. Then, all of a sudden, everything went silent. I tried to scream, but couldn't hear myself. The next thing I knew is that a perfectly black sphere had appeared above the market. It slowly descended onto the ground and vanished, leaving this... thing in its place.”
>A panic followed, and some of the braver mares attempted to attack the creature.
>Fortunately, Princess Celestia had heard the commotion from the palace and arrived to investigate before any lasting harm was done.
>She moved the unconscious creature into one of the guest rooms at the castle.
>As a precaution, the door was locked.

>How the alien got into Equestria is currently unknown, but we suspect the arcane device found on the site of arrival had something to do with it.
>Based on eyewitness reports, I suspect that the device is somehow able to bend space itself and rip holes into other realities.
>While it does not currently seem to be functional, based on the scorch marks and the faint smell of burnt chemicals emanating from it, it seems to be able to interact with magic at a very basic level.
>I have closely examined the scene of arrival, but my findings were inconclusive.

>>30563863
Addendum 1: Description of arcane device
>The device is rectangular and the size of a suitcase.
>It consists of a metal frame, made of steel tubes welded together, the device itself and a battery which is presumably the power source.
>The battery operates on an unknown principle, but provides voltage and current just like the ones I am more familiar with.
>The rest of the device consists of thin sheets of green plastic with extremely thin strips of metal and black plastic objects of various sizes and shapes on the surface.
>Presumably, the metal acts as a conduit to connect the small black boxes to one another.
>Some of the black objects appear to be burned.
>The function of the device is unknown.
>I considered doing a more thorough analysis on it, but decided against it since it is the alien's property and may be crucial.
>I am also worried about the possibility of accidentally activating the device.

Chapter 2: Physiology
>Based on the body structure and features of the alien, it seems to be a mammalian biped.
>It resembles the various monkeys found in Equestria, but is far larger, weighing about twice that of an average pony, completely lacks a tail and is nearly hairless.
>At first, I thought it only had hair on its head.
>On closer inspection after removing its clothes, which it wears to stay warm, I noticed that its body is covered in very short, thin and sparse hair.
>I also found out that it is a male.
>However, before I could do a more detailed examination, I noticed that its skin temperature was dropping so I put its clothes back on.
>Its teeth are a combination of those found on a herbivore and those of a carnivore; this led me to conclude that it is an omnivore.
>I have arranged a small change to the plumbing of the guestroom to acquire a stool sample to determine its diet.
>For now, however, its diet remains unknown.

>>30563866
Chapter 3: Clothing & Items
>Anonymous, upon arrival, was wearing two layers of clothing.
>Two shirts, worn on top of one another, both made of cotton.
>The one he wore on top was made of thicker, gray fabric, has a hood, two pockets and a zipper running its entire length on the front.
>The one he wore below that one was a plain black short-sleeved shirt.
>His pants were similar, made of cotton and worn on top of one another.
>His clothes were surprisingly similar to those some ponies wear but, as removing them made obvious, worn for a purpose other than looking good.
>The cause of this resemblance is unknown.
>Other than the clothes, the alien had two other items in the pockets of its pants: one key, attached to a keychain, and a black leather pouch containing what looks like coins.
>The pouch with coins in it also contained some slips of paper with pictures and symbols on them, plus some plastic cards which also had symbols on them.
>The purpose of the cards and slips of paper is unknown, but the symbols on them seem to be the same.
>Two of the paper pieces also seem to be exact copies of one another apart extremely minor differences.
>It would appear that Anonymous' species has invented the printing press, or some other method of creating near perfect copies.
>His clothes also had some highly-refined metal bits on them.
>Combined with the mysterious device that was found next to him (see Chapter 1, Addendum 1), I concluded that he comes from a technologically advanced civilization, perhaps one that even rivals that of ours.

>>30563873
Princess Luna
>You were in the throne room, listening to Twilight Sparkle tell your sister about the preliminary results of her research on the newcomer, absentmindedly gazing over Canterlot's rooftops through the window next to the throne.
>Your sister was behind you, at the base of her throne, and Twilight was next to her, levitating a scroll between the two.
>They were both focused on the scroll, Celestia occasionally interrupting Twilight to ask about some detail.
>A sense of dread stirred in you as some memory surfaced at the edge of awareness.
>There was something similar about the situation, you knew that, but what that something was evaded you.
>A stranger had arrived into Equestria from the Outside before, but when? Who was it? Why was it important?
>There was something critical to be learned from that time.
>You closed your eyes to focus on what the resurfacing memory would bring with it.

>[i]A large room,with a floor made of polished marble, a red carpet running down from a golden throne and all the way through the room to the doors at the other end.[/i]
>[i]You trotted towards the empty throne, the mat suppressing the sound of your hooves, your eyes wandering from the floral-patterned pillars to the blue and yellow stained glass windows to your right.[/i]
>[i]You had just woken up and were seeking your sister to ask if there was anything she wanted you to take care of when you heard the rapid clop of hooves on stone from the corridor behind you.[/i]
>[i]“Princess Luna, you've got to come quick! Something's happened to Princess Celestia!”[/i]
>[i]You turn around to see a gray unicorn in gilded armor galloping towards you.[/i]
[i]“What is it?[/i]
>[i]”I don't know, Princess Luna, it was over in an instant.”[/i]
>[i]”Princess Luna, I'm sorry, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.”[/i]

...close enough
>>30563876
>”Princess Luna? Is something wrong?”
>Twilight's voice called your name, severing the strand of memory and bringing you back to the present.
“I... This room?”
>You looked around, confirming that the room is indeed the same as the one in your memory: the window you were looking out of was blue, the throne was golden, the mat, the pillars...
>Twilight and Celestia looked at each other, concern showing on their faces.
“Forgive me, I must have dozed off.”
>You were certain that the moment you remembered had never happened, at least not in this room; could it have been a dream?
>”Ooookay. So, as I was saying, I believe he comes from a world where they have...”
>Twilight continued from where she left off, but you could not concentrate on her words, your mind replaying the memory over and over again, trying and failing to recall how it continued.
>It was going to be one of those nights.

>>30563883
Chapter 4: Behavior
>The alien woke up at noon on the day following his arrival.
>The first thing he did, according to the guardspony I had watching the peephole, was to examine the room he was in.
>He used a lot of time to do this, about an hour, despite the room being one of the smallest guest rooms in the castle.
>Although he seemed to be content with just a quick look-over at first, when nobody came after he knocked on the door and he realized he couldn't open it, he went over the room again.
>He looked into all of the drawers, opened the closet, looked under the bed, under the drawer, under the closet, tried the tap in the bathroom, closely examined the lamps et cetera.
>He was not the lest bit surprised about running water, which reinforces my belief of him being from a technologically advanced civilization.
>When I heard of him being awake, I consulted Princess Celestia for advice, and we decided to test his reaction to ponies under heavy safeguards.
>One of the guards was to take a bowl of fruit into his room, wearing a full suit of armor and with me waiting at the door, and wordlessly leave the bowl on his drawer.
>In addition to testing whether he is hostile towards ponies, this experiment should also provide Anonymous with something to eat.
>After consulting with an animal expert, we decided that fruit were the safest bet in terms of being something he is capable of digesting.

>>30563891
That's what I have for now.
I feel like I should abandon the "research notes" angle and just write from Twilight's perspective, especially since she's going to do more than passively examine from this point on.

>>30563906
Yeah, sounds good.

>>30563906
bad green is better than no green

but you sir have presented bretty good green, which is better than bad green and much better than no green. So keep on writing.

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>>30562757
>only the size and body mass of a household cat and dog
>mlp ponies always able to comfortable carry human children around
>very minimal a middle school student entering her teens
Yeah, no.

>>30562759
Their size to humans was established back in G1 under the same name, anon.

I just finished "King Anonymous and His Crazy Marriage" https://pastebin.com/U79sgGbF. I know it's old and I'm not sure exactly when it completed and I figure this thread is where it would have posted.

I didn't like it; and that's a good thing. The title suckered me in. It's a bit HFY which usually makes me cringe but it wasn't overdone except for the end. You kind of expect it though as the build up was well executed. The worldbuilding was good, the main characters were believable and it has a good balance of dialog/monologue that flowed well with a dash of self-deprecation thrown in. Tip 'o the hat to Dracononymous. Well done.

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>>30563952
what he said. pls cont.
Also, I think the way your story seems to be going, I feel it would be In your best interest to yeah drop the journal thing.

Anyone know of any good humorous lewd stories? I'm a sucker for comedy+NSFW. Whether or not Anon gets laid doesn't matter.

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>>30563212
While I'd like to see your calculations for the more extreme cases (Bulk Biceps, Scootaloo, and Fluury Heart, for example), it's been shown that the only thing that allows pegasi to fly is magic. Without it (like when Tirek stole it all), they drop like stones. Even when Glimmer swapped the Mane 6's cutie marks for equalist marks, Rainbow couldn't fly above a snail's pace.

>>30563046
>>30563212
>>30563795
I agree with you interpretation of their size and weight. However, the atmospheric composition and general air pressure need not be any different than ours.
They have magic.
Magic that is a very basic part of their very being. It allows pegasus to fly, unicorns to cast spells, and earth ponies to not prolapse when you cornhole them repeatedly.

>>30564238
Aww, she wants to be the little pony.

>>30560947
>What.
>She then scribbles on something with a pen in her mouth.
>"Now, Anon!"
"Huh?"

>The pink pony inhales the whole room worth of air in one second.

>"WELCOME CUPCAAAAAAAKES!"
>All you hear apart from ringing then is a click.
>Rows upon of rows of doors open on the ceiling and trays of different cupcakes rain on the tables, landing perfectly.
>Clanking and grinding noises are emitted from the openings, and you see the cupcakes come back onto the trays in there.

>You only noticed that because your head is about 2 feet under the ceiling.
>Quite a compact mechanism, that.
>Trixie's already going to town on the cupcakes behind you, judging by the look on the pink horse's face.
>Though you feel something moving back there with your neck.
>T-that is not Trixie.
>Trixie couldn't breathe down your ne--
>"Greetings, Anon."

>That soft, calm, soothing voice.
>It flows like honey through your ears, leaving behind only happiness.
>You turn around.
>A tall, white pony with quite a colourful flowing mane is gazing at you.
>Words you never thought you'd say.

"Um. Hello."

>The pony takes a step back and eyes you all over again.
>"Hm. I thought you'd be smaller than this."
"You didn't see humans before me?"
>"Looks like you're the first one. And that means…"

"What?"
>And then your vision went black.

>>30566293
>And then your vision went black.

And so did the thread, as it dropped off the bottom of Page 9.

>>30567603
Page 9 is where all the horse pussy hides.

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>>30568331

>>30566293
Cont. from pastebin: https://pastebin.com/3p5V5C52


>Aw, shit.
>Shitshitshit.
>Feels like you're in a fever dream.
>Your head hurts.
>Vision is blurry.
>You can't think straight.
"AAH!"

>What the fuck is that?
>An octopus?
>You try grabbing it with your hand and realise that it was your other hand.
>You try feeling your face in case it got bitten off by another octopus.
>It's fine, thank God.
>Good.
>Now you should look around the place.
>Maybe you've been put in a cell or something for looking not on par to the standards in that quite fine Italian restaurant.
>Did you eat the pasta wrong?
>You'll never know.
>You prefer spaghetti anyway.
>Saucy spaghetti.
>Saucy spaghetti with your mo--

>"Khm."
>You wake up.

"OH MY GOD, A TALKING HORSE!"
>A small horse is sitting in front of you.
>You're lying in some sort of a chair-bed… Thing.

>The small horse has glasses on it's nose, and a clipboard in its… Uh… Magic?
>You can't see clearly if you know the pony, since it's blue mane has fallen on it's face.
>"Do you consider yourself… An angry person?"
"What."
>"Do you get angry really fast?"
>Even if you did, you never noticed.
>It's a strange thing to ask anyway.

>>30567603
I somehow have a super power of ruining threads.

>>30568384
>But then you see it.
>You realise.

"What's that leg doing under the wardrobe?"
>The horse was just about to say something, but it stopped mid-breath for some reason.
>Its horn light up and you lost consciousness again.
>Aaaand you're back.
>Well that was quick.
>The blue pony is now gone.

>Oh, it's back again!
>And it looks like it's trying to tell you something.
>Silly horse, animals can't speak!
>"Listen, Anon, we need to--!"
>You shut its mouth with your finger.

"Silly horse, animals can't speak. Stop it. Wait, is that you, Joe? Where did you get a costume like that?"
>You always knew Joe was a goddamn furry.
>"Ahmhm!"
"Stop calling me that."
>You feel a strong chill storm all your bones from the inside, hollowing them out, leaving only cold darkness behind.
>Your finger slips off Trixie's mouth instantly.

>>30568393
>"Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
>Only now you notice where you are.
>Cold, damp stone walls spread foul smells into your nose, blocking its sensitivity.
>How did you know that they were cold, if you never touched them?

>You extend your hand to be an inch away from the wall.
>The cold radiates to your fingers.
>The circulation in your arm stops.
>The fingers feel like they're gonna fall off at any moment now.
>Some strange emptiness gets hold of your chest.
>This is feeling like an eternity.

>"Those sounds, Anon!"
>You look around and take a fighting stance, hoping to look at least a bit more intimidating than you normally are.
>Which you aren't, like, at all.

>Nothing at all.
>There's nothing here.
>You don't hear anything.
>That nagging feeling in your chest continues, though.
>Like you forgot something.

>And then, you remember everything.

>Enlightenment comes onto you.

>It's all clear now.

>You forgot y---
>"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
>What's that warm air coming from behind you?

>And where's Tri--
>"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
"Alright missy, I don't need to deal with your bullshit at this very moment."
>"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
>God, can't she just hold on for a minute?
"If you don't stop now, I'll plug your mouth so ha--"
>You turn around, lifting your index finger to finally get Trixie to calm the hell down.
"Oh."

>The pony stares at you, its non-existent eyebrows frowning in anger.
>Th-that doesn't look like Trixie…

That's almost all of what I had left, from now I'm making stuff up on the spot

>>30568401
Well, this is getting interesting.

I don't have the faintest idea what's happening, though. Is Sunbutt growling at the viewpoint character while he is, for no immediately obvious reason, tripping his balls off?

>>30560947
do not deny a mare her hoodie

>>30569790
That's not her hoodie.

>>30563891
Continuing this. Note that this is "hot off the press" and I've only read it through once myself.

Twilight Sparkle:
>You and a guard were standing on a small landing in front of the door to the topmost room in one of the tallest tower in the castle, holding a bowl of fruit with your magic while mentally preparing yourself for the task ahead.
>All you had to do was to open the door to Anonymous' room and wait for the guard to deliver the bowl while observing.
>The guard next to you, Silver Spear, may have volunteered for the task, but that did not mean it was something he was looking forward to doing.
>His movements were twitchy, his breathing was a touch louder than usual and you could smell that he was sweating despite the castle's temperature being the same magically-maintained constant as ever.
>Despite it all, the gray unicorn had a determined look in his eyes as he took the bowl of fruit from your magical grasp and surrounded it with his own aura to keep it afloat.
>You had a knot in your stomach yourself despite being certain that Anonymous held no magic of his own and, no matter how strong he may be, you could restrain him should he do something unexpected.
>Of course, what you knew was only based on your own observations.
>Everyone makes mistakes.
“So. If you feel like he does something that threatens anyone's safety, just do as we practiced and light up your horn and I'll take care of whatever it is.”
>Your voice was not quite as steady as you would have liked, but Silver Spear glanced at you and nodded nevertheless.
“Okay then, here goes nothing.”

>>30571188
>The door opened silently, swinging inwards as you gave it a solid push with your hoof.
>You heard Silver swallow just as the room and its sole resident were revealed.
>The alien was near the window, sitting cross-legged in front of it, looking at the city below.
>Silver hadn't had time to even take a single step forward when Anonymous' head jerked, turning to face the door, and they both froze in place, staring at each other.
>Time stopped.
>Ta-Thump.
>The only sound you were aware of was the beating of your own heart.
>Ta-Thump.
>Nothing moved.
>Ta-Thump.
>Nothing made a sound.
>Ta-Thump.
>Anonymous' eyes, brown and set deep in his skull, were not fixed on you, yet some long-forgotten instinct was screaming that you should flee.
>Ta-... Clop.
>Silver Spear's hoof hit the floor.
>He finally took the first step into the room, his eyes still fixed on Anonymous'.
>You suddenly felt extremely aware of everything that was happening.
>Silver was about to take another step, Anonymous was still frozen in place, a bird flew past the window, you were waiting at the door like planned and the sound of hoofsteps could be heard from somewhere below.

>>30571191
>Silver advanced into the room slowly, not taking his eyes off Anonymous.
>The alien being sat there, in front of the window, frozen in place.
>You watched the guard take another step, then yet another.
>A bead of sweat formed on your brow as he decided he was far enough into the room and placed the bowl of fruit on top of a chest of drawers.
>As the magic aura surrounding the bowl faded, Anonymous' eyes moved for the first time since they'd locked on to Silver.
>You spread your forehooves wider and lower your head in preparation, but he just looked at the bowl and said something unintelligible.
>Silver, his courage spent, quickly turned around and trotted back out of the room.
>Anonymous did not react to this in any way, his attention still centered on the bowl.
>He still stared at it as Silver passed by you on the landing outside the room.
>Neither did he react when you closed the door with your magic.

>>30571196
>”Come in.”
>Your mentor's voice responded to your knock on her door.
>”So, how did he react?”
>Princess Celestia did not even look at who came in before asking.
>She was on her balcony, looking down at Canterlot, both her and the city illuminated by the afternoon sun.
>You, coming from the shaded corridors, had to squint your eyes to look at her, so brilliant was her white coat.
“I'm not sure, he barely reacted at all. I mean, when he saw Silver he just... froze.”
>Celestia turned to face you, some surface of her regalia mirroring the sun into your eyes for a split-second as she did so.
>You reflexively closed your eyes and looked away.
>”Oh? And what do you think made him do that?”
>The sound of her horseshoes hitting carpeted stone told you that she'd come into the room with you, back from the balcony.
>Opening your eyes, you looked at her again and saw a warm smile on her face.
“I don't know why, but I think he was afraid- or surprised, I'm not sure which. He mumbled something like-”
>You attempt to replicate the sound he'd made.
“-but I've got no idea what it means.”
>Princess Celestia looks at you quietly for a moment, the smile still on her face but something about her eyes had changed when she heard your replication of the sound.
>”Looks like you have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to learn to understand him.”
>She gave you a look that you knew all too well.
>It was the one she gave before giving you a task that'd teach something she could explain in a few minutes but chose to have you figure out yourself.
>”I think your friend Sunburst would know how to get started.”

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>>30571201

>>30568503
Anon's tripping from being knocked out for a bit.

>>30568401
>Hair almost fallen out, sharpened teeth, blank stare, skin and fur lying around the muscles in patches…

>"Anon! Run!"
>You hear from somewhere behind you.
>Uh, you'd better run, yeah.

>First, you back off slowly, not breaking eye contact.

>Then you fucking crank the gear to max.

>You ran, and you ran.
>You heard a very distinct clopping of hooves creeping up behind you.
>You can't just die like this.
>The clopping is very close now.
>You briefly turn around to see the pony heaving, trying to get you on its last bit of stamina.
>Ha, human endurance wins agai--!

>>30571201
Plz more don't leave

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>>30570723
it is now

>>30563980
>Dracononymous
It's Sea Urchin.

New hoers show today?

>>30572685
no

>>30572685
No show.
Only horse anus that you can see through that hole in the fence.

>>30572897
pics pls

>>30572911
o

>>30573068
zOMG

Still searching for a prompt. If any don't strike my fancy I'll let you know.

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>>30573239
Poacher anon hunting the most dangerous equestrian game

>>30573239
First encounter between human and pone. Each is utterly mindboggled by the other and both say "what ARE you?" a lot. Human is also astonished and a bit frightened that something that isn't human is talking, and wonders whether he's having a stroke and hallucinating, or having a really weird dream.

>>30573239
Twilight keeps sleepwalking into Anon's house and eating all his food. He can't wake her up no matter how hard he tries. So he comes up with more fucked up ways to mess with her before she wanders home.

>>30573239
Anon runs for mayor on the "I'm not a useless cunt" platform. They have the first townhall debate.

>>30573333
Check'd
If I go that route, the result will not be completely heartwarming. If that doesn't please you let me know.

>>30573384
I think that's plausible and have no issues with it.

>>30571201
Author of this piece of shite here, do tell me what you thought of what I've got so far.
Is the grammar okay? Are the characters in-character? Did I make any stylistic errors?
And, of course, how did you like what I've written so far?

>>30573298
>>30573368
Both are great ideas but I know I wouldn't be able to pull them off, at least well.

>>30573379
I'll give it some thought.

>>30573418
I'm finding it difficult to follow what's actually happening.

Did they clobber Anonymous over the head, or zap him with magic, or something?

I mean, if you're setting it up as a mystery and we're going to learn later, that's fine too, but I'm not sure at this point exactly what I'm looking at.

>>30573696
I thought I made that clear in the first part I posted the day before. Is it not?

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>>30573418
>how did you like what I've written so far?
It is good, and I have enjoyed reading it.
No obvious compliants or mistakes. Noted laziness regarding [i]talics that I really can't blame you for not stripping out, because it's fuckboring doing all that shit.
You dun gud.

>>30574642
>I thought I made that clear in the first part I posted the day before. Is it not?

There's not a whole lot that's clear in that passage. Anonymous seems to see what I must assume is Princess Celestia, then his "vision goes black," and a lot of weird shit is described to the viewer.

>>30575991
Okay.
What the fuck? I don't think we're talking about the same story here. Mine isn't written from Anon's PoV.

>>30576200
Okay.

Are you General Supplies Writefag? I'm talking about >>30566293 and specifically the last several lines.

If you're someone else, I apologize for getting confused. It's hard to tell one anonymous poster from another.

>>30576229
I quoted my piece in the post you first replied to, telling that "this is what I wrote, tell me what you thought about it"
And here's (you), talking about some unrelated shit. At least read the post you're replying to before hitting the submit button, please.

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>>30561822

>>30571982
Thanks. I discovered that just a little while ago while lurking another thread. I've started "Obsession" but I'm not sure if I want to finish it before finding some pony mind bleach. KAaHCM left me depressed for days.

>>30573418
Dialog seems fine. I'd need to read a bit more though. World building and you're doing a good job of "showing" a scene within the story versus blandly "telling" it.

I'm really enjoying the story so far. I do hope you decide to continue. I look forward to the next update.

>Storms knock out power in the middle of typing thing.
>find out battery backup is kill as a bonus

>>30578084
How much did you lose? A post or two? Few thousand words?

>>30542932

>Eventually Luna rises from the table with some apparent reluctance, putting away the board.
>"This has been a most enjoyable evening, but the moon isn't going to raise itself."
>A part of you wants to object to that statement given even your fairly basic knowledge of physics but you decide against it.
>"If you will wait here I will have one of the servants show you to your room."
>You give Luna your thanks and she departs. True to her word a servant appears to guide you to your room shortly there after.
>The room is roughly what you had expected, a large canopied bed dominating the center of it.
>Thick plush rugs covering parts of the stone floor, a dresser, mirror and all the other furnishings one might need during an extended stay.
>"Will you be needing anything else sir?" The servant mare asks.
>"Parchment, ink, and books on the subject of magic."
>The servant looks a bit perplexed by your request "So you'll be wanting spell tomes then sir?"
>"No, I am more interested in the nature and applications of magic rather than the spells themselves. Please find what you can."
>Taking that as a dismissal she scurries off presumably to fetch what you've requested.
>If the castle is anything like the garrison you'll have the small hours of the night mostly to yourself.
>That being the case it will be a good time to begin your research.
>You place your helm on the bed and move to a window to admire the view while you wait on the servant's return.
>By this point most of your doubt about claims of the princesses raising the sun and moon had been dispelled but now they are entirely banished.
>You watch as the sun swiftly dips below the horizon and mere seconds later the moon rises high, dominating the center of the sky.
>You are glad you have befriended these xenos rather than mindlessly warring with them as your brothers would have for many reasons.
>Seeing such a display of magical power simply gives you one more reason to be glad of that.

>>30578199
>You watch for a while longer as the stars begin to take their places in the sky before your attention is drawn to the return of the servant.
>She is pushing a cart piled with the books and parchment you requested as well as what appears to be a small fold-able writing desk.
>You take the books placing them on the dresser before setting up the desk and piling the parchment on to it.
"You have my thanks. You may take the cart."
>The dismissal given you browse through the books before selecting on the that seems most suitable.
>The magic used by unicorns seems, at least by your estimation, to be similar enough to sorcery that you'll need instruction from someone actually learned in the art.
>So you've decided to start with something more simple, pegesai and their ability to control the weather.
>You recall Soft Heart having mentioned it vaguely when you first awoke, though at the time you were more concerned with arming yourself than pressing for details.
>You begin reading through the tome, jotting down pertinent notes as you go. You get to the section on thunderstorms and stop.
>You reread it just to make sure you took it in correctly, your grasp of this language still not complete.
>Pegesai, most ponies in fact, seem to be largely inured to lightning strikes.
>If you're reading this correctly then the worst any of the ponies commonly suffers from a direct strike is discomfort and possible momentary disorientation.
>You'll have to ask one of the pegesai here at the castle tomorrow how difficult it is to create lightning.
>If it's manageable they may have a super weapon in their arsenal they've been failing to utilize.
>Even being able to conjure rain easily could make an assault on a prepared position nightmarish for the enemy.
>Till up the earth before hand and bring in the rains as the enemy arrive.
>You could cut them down with ranged weaponry at your leisure as they try to trudge through calf deep muck up hill.

>>30578202
Ah crap, just noticed I screwed up and made Anon's lines green in the previous part.

>>30578202
>One might wonder why they don't already employ such tactics but the simple fact of the matter is they've likely never had to.
>Given even your tenuous grasp of their history major conflicts have been few and quickly settled.
>It makes sense, the resources of this world seem abundant and with the Princesses ruling as they have for so long most conflicts have been fought by individuals, not armies.
>Even the invasion of the Changeling army was resolved in a matter of days, hardly a protracted siege.
>In all actuality it's unlikely that the tactics you're hoping to codify here will ever be needed, but better to have them and not need them.
>Besides that you're not used to having this much free time and it'll give you something productive to do.
>You begin by writing out strategies for the Tyranid attack Luna had conducted.
>If you had time to prepare the battlefield before hand lightning could be useful for destroying swathes of them, or at least the larger creatures.
>You'll also need to see about organizing a few units of pegesai for areal assault in general.
>Having them establish aerial superiority would be a swift way to turn the tide of any battle.
>Perhaps you can see about having some of them armed with missile weapons and explain the concept of strafing runs.
>After several hours of work you have a sizeable stack of notes. It's certainly no Principia Belicosa but it's the beginnings of a tome anyway.
>Once the ink is sufficiently dry you tuck the notes away in one of the rooms drawers for safe keeping.
>The hour has grown late while you worked and you may as well take a few hours sleep while you have the opportunity.
>You step in to the hall long enough to find one of the patrolling night guards and ask them to send a servant to assist with your armor.
>A fine thing about the castle is that you will rarely want for servants. A day and night court means day and night staffing for most positions.
>Once out of your armor you settle down to sleep.

>>30578212
>The bed while suitably sized for someone of your stature is uncomfortably plush but you do your best to ignore it.
>Your mattress being too soft seems like too trivial a complaint to pester anyone in charge with.
>When sleep finally claims you, you drift as you always do in to memory, though something feels off.
>A sensation of unease gnaws at the back of your mind.
>Despite your baseless apprehension your past begin to play out before you.
>You stand in the crew bay of a Thunderhawk, one of the newer model of gunship favored by the modern chapters.
>Around you are your...you can't think of them as brothers. Cousins perhaps, that is a good word for it.
>They are a collection of renegades, having for one reason or another forsworn their loyalty to, or been cast out by, the Imperium.
>Not quite traitors but one step above pirates, you asked few questions of them upon joining.
>They were wise enough to do the same of you. The mission you've signed on for is not particularly glorious, but it should earn you a share of much needed supplies.
>Before you a flickering hololith shows the massive form of a strike cruiser, spinning slowly through space.
>You had found the ship floating powerless, her keel broken and belly split open to allow the void to pour in.
>Initial auspex scans had returned minimal power signatures and things had seemed straight forward enough.
>You had quickly learned otherwise. A ship like this is a treasure trove for looters, no matter their species.
>You had found the ship to be infested with Orks. By some twist of fate they had arrived not long before your own team of scavengers.
>At least the foul things had not yet had time to set up proper defenses. The initial fighting had been a close and bloody affair.
>Your team having stumbled upon the xenos while attempting to navigate the broken hallways to the armory.
>You had suffered losses, but the Orks had caught the worst of it, having been less quick to react.

>>30578215

>You had split up in to smaller forces to secure what salvage you could and rendezvous back at the Thunderhawk before the Orks could muster a larger response.
>With you was one of your cousins whose name you had never caught. His livery was two axes back to back on a red field and his armor was a deep dull grey.
>His identity hadn't really mattered, he hadn't been with you long. You turn the corner of the hallway that should lead to the turbo lift but everything is wrong.
>The metal plates of the hall are covered in jagged shards of black crystal.
>Smoke begins to seep from the crystals spreading slowly through the vacuum and billowing outward like ink poured in water.
>You take a step back and raise your sword defensively.
>This should be where the Orks had attacked again pouring out of the lift but it seems that you won't be facing so mundane a horror.
>Something movies within the cloud, a faint impression of light shifting between from blue to green.
>The cloud bursts suddenly in to motion, filling the hallway entirely as it rushes towards you.
>You attempt to flee but move too slowly.
>Something as cold as ice water and black as the darkness between stars pours over you pushing in through the seals in your armor.
>Your helm begins to fill as the smoke tries to push in through your mouth and nose.
>You sit upright in your bed, head pounding as you try to hold on to the details of what you just saw.
>Already you can feel them slipping from you. For a brief moment you wonder if your sanity is leaving you.
>You would not be the first Astartes to take leave of his senses since the Heresy.
>You quickly dismiss such thoughts and martial your composure.
>It is likely some side effect of the magic in this place, just less pronounced than similar effects of the warp.
>You were not meant to dream as mortals do, and that is why your mind is having difficulty hanging on to such things.
>That seems likely enough. You'll speak to Luna again if this continues.

>>30578216
Here's the updated pastebin https://pastebin.com/4DcZLrJe
Still having to do some crap on my days off but I'm hoping to get another update up either later today or Monday.
Most likely the latter.

>>30578222
Thanks.

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>>30578087
Somewhere around four pages.

>>30578222
Excellent as always

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>>30579321

>>30578222
Nice update fallanon

>>30578222
Bless your soul Fall anon

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Ponynet

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>>30581341

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>>30578216

>>30581429
Read as Now look at this neet

>>30571201
Princess Luna
>You trotted towards your sister, sitting on her throne and going through some papers with her secretary, letting your eyes wander from one floral-patterned pillar to another as you passed by them.
“Sister, have you seen Twilight?”
>She threw you a single, bored glance before returning to the paper she was holding with her magic.
>”She said she'd be taking the evening train to the Crystal Empire.”
>Her voice was dull and lacked energy, as it always did whenever she'd had a difficult day.
“And why would she be going there when the duty you have assigned to her is in here?”
>Glancing at you again, she lifted the paper so it covered her muzzle, no doubt to hide a mischievous smile.
>You weren't certain what she got out of making her former protégé do things the hard way, but you'd known her long enough to be certain that she was going to keep doing it.
“You did not think of telling her that, perhaps, the captive needs to eat more than a single bowl of fruit a day? He's at least twice the size of an average pony!”
>She let the paper drop somewhat, revealing a neutral face.
>You noticed a slight twinkle in the corner of her eye, though.
>”You wound me, sister. I did not know you thought of me as so heartless.”
>You glared at her, not in the mood for silly games.
“So you have considered the detail. Good.”
>Preparing to leave, you rolled your eyes which, to your annoyance, made your sister smile and giggle quietly.
>”Since you seem so worried about our guest, why not take care of the issue yourself?”
>Ignoring your sister, you turned around and trotted out of the throne room to do as she had suggested.
>Only because that had been your intention from the beginning, though.

>>30583750
>You'd confirmed that Anonymous had eaten the fruit by looking through the peephole that Twilight had made before going to the kitchen to prepare another one.
>You'd even found the guard she'd had take the bowl into the room and asked which fruit it'd had in it to include some variety in Anonymous' diet.
>Twilight had also had the plumbings of the guestroom changed to “acquire a stool sample” as she'd put it herself, but that was something you'd let her handle herself.
>If her theory about Anonymous being an omnivore was correct, and you had no reason to doubt it wasn't, he'd need something more than just fruit to stay healthy.
>But, for now, fruit would have to suffice.
>Piling as many kinds of fruit into the bowl as you could, your mind returned to the conversation you'd had with the guard.
>Silver Spear, a gray unicorn in the standard gilded armor of your sister's guard, had told you about Anonymous' peculiar reaction to ponies.
>Your mind automatically drew a parallel to the moment you had recalled earlier, while Twilight Sparkle had been explaining about her findings to your sister.
>A gray unicorn, in gilded armor.
>You shook your head to banish the foreboding thoughts.
>Now was not the time to be pondering half-remembered ominous dreams.

>>30583757
>Knocking on Anonymous' door out of courtesy, you neither expected nor received an answer before you pushed it open with a hoof.
>He was lying on his bed, but rose up the moment he saw you.
>Tall.
>That was your first thought of him.
>And that he was.
>Considerably taller than you, slightly exceeding even your sister's height if not for her horn.
>He stared at you with his deep-set, brown eyes.
>It made you feel somewhat uneasy, as if you were doing something you weren't supposed to.
“Greetings! I have come to bring you something to eat.”
>You knew he couldn't understand you, but hoped that hearing your voice would make him feel at ease.
>He responded by saying a short, indecipherable line.
>His speech did not remind you of any of the numerous languages you'd heard during your long life.
>It was, as was to be expected, truly otherworldly.
>But hearing it gave you an idea.
>If such a thing was within your power, you could visit his dream.
>Sometimes, instead of speaking, ponies would wordlessly transfer their thoughts to you when you visited their dreams.

>Slowly, pausing after each step, you moved into the room, pondering whether what you thought of would be possible, when you noticed that Anonymous' eyes were fixed on your horn.
>His head turned slowly to follow your movement, his eyes completely unmoving from your point of view, the intensity of the stare sending a shiver down your spine.
>He was still standing next to his bed, not having moved from the spot, when you placed the full bowl you'd brought with you next to the one that Silver Spear had brought a few hours earlier.
>The other bowl only had a few apple cores, banana peels and some other remnants in it.

>>30583766
>Done with your task, you turned to face him and met his stare with your own.
>He immediately averted his eyes and looked at your mane, which was, as always, flowing in the ethereal wind.
>Something about his eyes changed, accompanied by some subtle movement of the various features of his face, but you could not interpret his expression.
>Moving one hoof at a time, doing your best to appear nonthreatening, you slowly crept closer.
>His eyes moved back from the bowl to your horn, then to your eyes and down to your shod hooves.
>Still inching closer, you studied his face and its alien features, noticing that his brow furrowed as he shifted his gaze from your mane to your hooves, then to the emblem you wore on your chest and finally to your crown.
>You saw him part his lips slightly, heard him draw breath, even noticed the movement of his tongue inside his mouth.
>But he said nothing, only held his breath for a second before letting it out and closing his mouth.

>Anonymous did not react to you inching closer to him before your muzzle was nearly within the reach of his arms.
>That is when he took a step backwards, which you interpreted as him trying to tell you're too close.
>When he did that, you stopped.
>You wished to talk to him, your mind brimming with questions to ask, but the language barrier voided any such wishes.
>Instead, you perked up your ears and tilted your head slightly to the side.
>He responded by tensing his cheek muscles, causing the corners of his mouth to move upwards somewhat.
>A smile, in other words.
>Glad that you had found at least some common ground, you responded to his smile with your own.
“I hope your dreams are not as difficult to read as your face, newcomer.”
>You took a step backwards before turning around, then trotted out of his room.
>Tonight, you would attempt to find his dream.

>>30583770
That's it for now.
I hope it'll suffice, despite me feeling like it was not as good as the previous parts.

>>30583778
Neigh, it was good. Not that Twilight is uncaring but she comes across as scientific and clinical within the previous updates. Understandable considering this started out as a journal of some kind. Luna however, comes across as curious and caring in this update.

I look forward to the next update Anon.

>>30583778
Well you're wrong, nerd. Keep it up, I've lost a lot of interest in habitual things lately but your story is drawing me in.

>>30583778
>>30584111
Trips confirm, you are a faggot and must continue

>>30584292
I guess that's that then.

>>30584913
You could also write some more.

>>30563212
>>30563046
I share your headcanon.
Poners should be the size of poners, just leaner.

Howdy y'all, been a minute or two since I last posted. Don't really have any new stories to post, at least not to y'all, but I finished up one I had started writing well over a year ago. I still haven't finished watching season 5 or anything after that so if any majors changes have occurred in their little world. I wouldn't know. Anyway, wont make any promises about how long I'll be back, but just know that it's good to be back. That's enough from me, story's in the next post.

>>30585676
>You are Anonymous, ancient wizard and uncle of two precocious princesses.
>Just another decade in your tomb, same as any other that goes undistur-
>Rattle, rattle, rattle.
>What's that sound?
>Rattle, rattle, rattle.
>It's the bone phone!
>Rolling over inside your sarcophagus, you reach a bony hand out to remove the ivory gripped phone off the hook before answering in a fake accent.
"Thank you for using Royal Equestria Telephone. My name is Paul, how may I be of directing your call?"
>"Oh drat, another humpbacked pony taking away good equestrian jobs." Looks like your little Luna is making the call, and needs to be reminded that racial slurs aren't as funny as they were pre Nightmare Moon Era. "Erm. Could you please connect me to the Grand Wizard Anonymous?"
>You'll also have to remember to change that title one of these days.
>Removing your old smartphone from it's crystalline encasement, you give it a quick zap of juice before picking out her hold music.
"Please to be of holding something as I direct your call."
>"Thank you."

>>30585682
"Oh! It's been years. Sister! Come listen!"
>You hear the muffled sound of hoofsteps approach the phone before your first niece recognizes the song and the two begin singing along.
>"...The blood in me runnin' my mental, the thug in me, stuck in me. Keepin' it simple, the bone in me runnin with thugs so, to the temple, buck when you duck to the thuggish ruggish T's. St. Claire P's to appeal to the G's, and a buck to all my enemies!"
>As the girls sing the chorus, you cut the music before chiming in.
"It's been a long time since I've been able to hear you girls sing for me."
>There's a commotion on the other end of the line as the two realize they've been caught up in another one of your pranks.
>"Oh! Really now uncle, we should've realized it sooner when this ancient song came on."
>"Or at least with how many times the song mentioned bones."
"It's my M.O. girls. Now what's the problem?"
>"Well, hearts and hooves day passed recently and my faithful student Twilight asked me how it came about. Since it's a holiday my mother invented before we were born, we were hoping you could tell us about it.
>Now there's an old story you'd have hoped to forget.
"Galaxia never mentioned it before? Hell, I would've thought that old Nebulon would've brought it up at every opportunity."
>"Our father was involved as well?"
"*sigh* Yeah. Tell you what girls, rather than run up the phone bill, why don't we meet up in the garden and I'll tell you two all about it?"
>"We'll meet you there Uncle, and try not-"
"Yes, yes. I'll avoid letting the staff see me. Today's ponies are far too squeamish if they can't even handle a walking skeleton. Be there soon."

>>30585686
>"Goodbye!" The two shout in unison.
>Hanging up the phone, you remove the lid to your coffin with merely a thought before sitting up to take in the familiar dusty sight of your cellar.
>Slipping on your fuzzy slippers to mask the click-clacking of your feet on the tile, you grab a silken bath robe off it's hangar before cloaking yourself with an invisibility spell.
>Making your way up the steps, you pull the lever that opens the secret passage to your tomb and enter the castle's grand hallways.
>As usual, hardly a soul is within detection range thanks to this wing being unguarded and devoid of anything else for the maids to bother with.
>Shuffling along quietly, you organize your thoughts in preparation for the story you were about to tell.
>Heroism, lust, treachery. All in the pursuit of love.
>And in your case, all for naught.
>If not for her humming, you would've walked head first into a maid while you were distracted as she cleans a window.
>Admiring the shortness of her skirt, you decide to gauge the quality of her meat by giving her a solid pinch on her rear.
>She yelps in surprise and tries to find her assailant before realizing she's alone.
>With a shriek of terror she gallops off while you stand there and think to yourself that she'll at least get some of the exercise her plump rump was in need of.
"Still, magic can't make these old bones give off that same feeling my hands would've."
>Continuing on, you avoid terrifying anymore of that staff and arrive to the garden undetected.
>As you approach the girls, you're about to call out to them when Luna speaks up.

>>30585698
>"Do you think he's gotten lost?"
>Oh right, you're still invisible.
>"Luna, he's lived in this castle as long as either of us. He should know this place like the back of his hand."
>"That didn't stop you from spending the weekend in the west wing because you kept walking past the stairwell entrance."
>"Why does a stairwell need a door anyway? You're the only pony who's ever been clumsy enough to fall down them!"
>"You know my growth spurts made me lanky! Or are you just upset because your fat flanks can't get through the door frame?"
>"I'LL END YOU!"
>Celestia tackles her sister to the ground and the two begin thrashing about in the kind of brawl only capable of between siblings.
>They kick and stomp each other, while avoiding the other's face in order to hide any obvious signs of fighting.
>Most likely so they don't get in trouble with you.
>A noble effort, in vain nonetheless.
>A wave of your hand lifts the water from a nearby fountain and you hover it just over their heads.
>Chilling it with a bit of ice, the sun glistens off the newly formed cubes and as Luna tries to defend herself against a flurry of blows, she tries to warn her sister before you douse them both.
>The fight is quickly brought to a close as the icy water snaps them back to their senses.
>Dispelling your invisibility, you sit on a bench while staring down your dripping wet nieces.
>Not the best choice of words there.

>>30585702
"Well girls, looks like the two of you are soaked to the BONE."
>"UGH!" You know she feels this.
"Another pun bites the dust."
>"How long have you been there Uncle?"
"Long enough to know you're both to blame. But the two of you are too old for punishments, and old enough to know better."
>They both bow their heads.
>"We're sorry Uncle."
"I'm not the one you two need to apologize to."
>Celesita and Luna turn towards each other before saying their "Sorry"s and hugging it out.
"Much better. Now dry yourselves off and take a seat. I'll try to keep things short since it's not a story I'm too fond of."
>Luna shakes off the water, further drenching her sister who gives her a cross look, before focusing a ray of sunshine on herself to quickly dry herself.
>Taking either side of you on the bench, the girls preen their feathers to get them back in order while you wait.
>"Don't mind us uncle, we're all ears."
"Right. Well as you both know, I wasn't born in Equestria. Or anywhere on this planet for that matter. The world then was smaller, not physically of course but in the sense that it was less populated and less developed than it is today. This of course meant that when I made my way here via a portal to Tartarus going wrong, it made the news."
>Celestia uses her telekinesis to bring over a tray of tea and cakes for your group as well as a chilled bottle of milk for you.
>Popping off the cap, you tilt your head back and pour the icy beverage down past your teeth and the girls sit in awe as it simply disappears.

>>30585709
"I'll explain that one some other time, but back to my story. Luckily I had the good fortune of appearing just as your mother was in the process of beating some ancient evil whose name escapes me. I lived a long life in Equestria and sadly I was only able to preserve the memories I still had when I became the bag of bones you both know and love."
"Anyway, my sudden appearance gave the villain enough time to escape your mothers barrier and pin her down. Now I was no expert on good and evil, but in that moment I could tell that she was in trouble so despite all my confusion, I picked up a chunk of rock that was caused by their fight then bashed him in the head. Galaxia was able to finish the job after that and allowed me to stay in the castle as a guest of honor for helping her while she recovered. The plan was to just send me back, but, well here I am."
>They wrap their wings behind your back supportively.
"It's fine, those first years were the hardest and luckily I had your mother's friendship to help me get by. I took a seat on her council since I had something a lot of ponies in that day lacked, common sense and a commanding presence. Despite our titles, our relationship wasn't exactly professional."
>Celestia quirks her eyebrow as she takes a sip of tea.
"Now don't get excited. We were two best friends who enjoyed each others company and Galaxia's only interest in my romantic life was trying to find a pony to set me up with. She was practically engaged to Nebulon at the time but what made me realize my own feelings was a secret I haven't told a soul until today."
>"Is this the part of the story Luna should cover her ears for?"
>"Oh please, you were almost the 4000 year old virgin until you met that Saddle Arabian pool boy."
>"He was more charming than those rogues you'd disappear off with."
>"Prude."
>"Harlot."
"Oh Galaxia, where did we go wrong with these two?" You sadly say to the bottle in your hands.
>"Sorry, please continue."

>>30585719
"Don't mind if I do. Anyway, it wasn't terribly hard for me to make friends, but something that held me back from taking a relationship beyond that point was my worry if I was ready for that kind of intimacy outside my species or if the mare would feel the same way y'know?"
>The two nod their heads before you continue.
"So, I confided in your mother and she told me she'd think of something. That night I get an unsigned letter delivered to my room asking me to go to the top of the tallest tower, so I did. At the time it was unoccupied so I figured that Galaxia must've found somebody willing to be my partner. Given the secrecy of it all, I figured whoever it was was also getting compensated for it which let me not have to worry about ruining a relationship. But when I got up there, was I ever in for a surprise."
>"It was the ugliest pony she could find wasn't it? That seems like the kind of prank you'd pull on one another."
>"Oh please sister, you know mother would spare the pony's feelings, it was probably a stallion ready to take everything uncle could give him for the coin."
"A hole is a hole when you're just trying to bury your bone but you're both wrong here."
>"Then what happened?"
"I got up the top floor when I saw a candle light peaking out from one of the inner rooms. So I approached it and took one last deep breath before knocking. That was when I heard a shy voice telling me to come in. I opened the door and sitting there on the bed was none other than Galaxia herself. My best friend and your mother."
>The two gasp in surprise.
"We did a pretty good job of keeping it secret huh? I walked in to start questioning her when she closed the door behind before she climbed under the sheets and held them open for me. I was confused but my body seemed to know what I wanted since I was able to just strip down and crawl in beside her."
>"Didn't you say she was engaged to father at the time?"

>>30585721
"I said 'practically', but yeah I was shocked too. For a minute we just laid there, staring into each others eyes. The way the flickering light reflected in her eyes was mesmerizing. We pulled each other close and everything just synced up. Our heart beats, our breathing, it wasn't until I brushed the hair off her face with my hand and rubbed her cheek that I realized how very in love with her I was."
>"Aww..."
"That moment didn't last long however, when I leaned in to kiss her, she pressed her hoof to my lips and just said, 'Sorry, these belong to someone else."
>Luna gasps while Celestia nearly spills her tea.
"The heartache was immediate but I didn't want to let it all go to waste. If I can't have her lips, I'll just have to settle for the rest of her I told myself. I began to caress her body and kiss her neck, before we threw ourselves into passion. Every now and again while we were at it, I would try to get that kiss but she was always able to ignore the pleasure just enough to turn her head."
>You lean over and cup your face in your hands.
"Thousands of years later, but it hurts like it was yesterday when I think about it."
>Luna levitates a napkin over to you, but you just shake your head in response.
"It's alright dear, I couldn't cry now even if I wanted to." You say as you sit back upright.
"We kept at it until we were both too tired to go on and she let me fall asleep with my arms wrapped around her. No idea what time it was when I woke up but I was by myself and it had to be the loneliest I'd ever felt in Equestria since we realized there was no known way to send me back home at the time."
>"Surely that night isn't why we celebrate heart's and hooves day though is it?" Asks Celestia as she pours another cup of tea.

>>30585728
"Hmm? Oh right, sorry, I guess I just needed to get that one off my chest. So it became apparent to me that I was in love with Galaxia, but there was the problem with Nebulon being her unofficial lover. He was the general of the army and a powerful Unicorn who was very vocal about his adoration of Galaxia. Meanwhile I knew a few parlor trick level spells that your mother and the head mages were able to teach me. We had agreed to keep that night in the tower a secret, but watching Nebulon come in and woo Galaxia was just infuriating when before I only made fun of his cheesy attempts at romance; all his candies, bouquets and hackneyed love poems, It's ridiculous how well it worked for him. Until one day I saw him steal a kiss from her and I just lost it."
>"What did you do?" The girls ask excitedly.
"It's not like I just decked him or anything, he was being flirty and said that she had something on her lips and when she asked 'what', he kissed her and said 'mine'. I got up and walked over to them before proclaiming my love for Galaxia and challenging him to a duel. I could tell my words had reached her and it was just as obvious to her that I meant what I said. He laughed and accepted before drawing his sword and standing between us."
>"The two of you really went that far?"
"That was how things got handled back then, your mother begged us to stop but I just told her to let us handle things. I drew my sword and the fight began. He was a military man, he practiced every day with his troops, but I wasn't just some pony on the battlefield. I had my own style that took full advantage of my size, speed, and strength that we ended up in a deadlocked match. Realizing this, he brought his spells into play and since we hadn't set any ground rules, that was perfectly legal for him to do so. My council robes had some magic resistance but it was really only enough to prevent me from getting killed when he started raining down bolts of lightning."

>>30585737
>You flick your fingers and lightning strikes the old king's statue to demonstrate the force behind his magic that day.
>if only you had this much power then.
"When he stopped to catch his breath, it was all I could to stand while using my sword to support myself. He raised his and asked if I could continue, but my whole body was numbed from the attack and when enough time had passed, he claimed his victory and left me there."
>"What did mother have to say about all that?"
"Of course she was worried about my health but not before reminding me how stupid it was to challenge the general to a duel. I asked her why she didn't follow him and she said it was because she was my friend. I told her that's exactly why I had to fight him and why I would do it again. After that, if I wasn't tending to my council duties, I'd be in the library studying magic or in my room training my body. I wanted to at least level the magic playing field the next time I challenged Nebulon and if that didn't work I'd have to just overpower him with my blade."
>The setting sun causes a shadow from the statue of the old king to stretch into your view as you recall all the time you spent just trying to surpass him.
"I spent days upon weeks upon months training like this, all the while he continued on with trying to marry your mother as she built this nation. One time she came to me and told me that they had finally started dating. I asked if she was telling me to give up on her. When she couldn't answer, I thought that maybe it was because she still thought I could make her mine. Your father must have hated the idea that I might actually beat him in another duel, because one day he sent me a letter of challenge. There were two dragons terrorizing the outer territories to the north and south respectively and we would both leave to take one on to prove whose love for the Queen was stronger. So I accepted."

>>30585744
>"The two of you really went so far?"
"Of course. Our love was stronger than our fear of death. He took to the blazing desert of the south while I headed towards the frozen north. To prove we had slain the dragons, we'd need to bring back their heads as proof. Little did I know that I was walking into a death trap. When I arrived at the dragon's lair, I had no idea that it was their mating season since we knew almost nothing about dragons at the time so after slaying one dragon, I was left to deal with her mates. Now I say mates, because males greatly outnumber females in the dragon community and the males all fight to for the right to breed, kinda like your father and I were. After dealing with the female, I had almost a dozen pissed off suitors to contend with between me and the exit. I was already exhausted after the one dragon, but I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing your mother again, so I picked up my sword like I had wanted to after that duel and charged straight into their ranks."
>"And you killed them all?" Luna's eyes are beaming with admiration at thought.
"Oh no, nothing so dramatic, dragons are used to being Apex predators, but there I was, covered in the blood of the much larger female charging head on at them and screaming about Valhalla calling me home. Several of the smaller ones turned tail and ran and I only had to kill a couple males before the rest decided their lives were worth more. That's not to say I didn't take my fair share though. Luckily being covered in blood helped hide my own bleeding wounds. After that I retreated back into the cave where it wasn't as cold and tended to my wounds as best I could. Thankfully dragons entrails make for a warm bed but I still slept with one eye open in case they came back. Next day, I loaded up the head onto a sled and was about to start my trek back down the mountain when a snowstorm blew in."
>"So what happened then?"

>>30585752
"Nothing really, I had to wait it out for a few hours before digging out enough snow to drag the head out and down the mountain. I would've thought all the blood would attract predators but the ones I did see gave me a wide berth. Anything that can kill a dragon isn't worth the risk I suppose. I did cut off quite a bit of the neck meat to lighten the load and once I had gotten far enough away from it they would come in to scavenge. It originally took a few days by foot to get from the nearest village to the dragon's den, but thanks to my wounds and overall exhaustion, I spent almost three times as long getting back. After that it was two straight days on a carriage to get back to the old castle but I slept through most of it."
>"But you still slayed the dragon, so if father had also slayed his, then would not end in a draw?"
"You'd think that, but ol' Nebulon managed to kill his and come back within a few days. They already had the damn thing stuffed by the time I dragged mine onto the castle's grounds. Most ponies had given me up for dead, including your mother. By the time i made it back she had practically accepted my death and promised her hoof in marriage to Nebulon. I still got a heroes welcome for slaying the dragon, but in my heart I knew it was over for my love."
>You finish off the bottle of milk and set it down before continuing.
"The next day they held an award ceremony for your father and I, even though it was originally meant just for him. It was there they announced the wedding and in the years to come it would become a popular date to propose to a loved one until they made a holiday of it. Only those within the castle actually knew about our challenge and so as not to mar the occasion with my side of the story the stories told among the common folk was that we were both sent off by Galaxia's orders to defend the country."

>>30585756
"So the story went that Nebulons love for her is what let him defeat the dragon and race home to declare his love while I just happened to be someone else who slayed a dragon. Of course nowadays no one even remembers that part of the story."
>"Oh Uncle." The girls sandwich you in a tender hug.
"It's ok, it's ok. The past is where it belongs and had I won your mothers love, I may not have given you girls the gift of life, but life has certainly given me the gift of you." The sisters look up to you with smiles bright enough to light the dark.
"Besides I get to see your mother in both of you every time we meet."
>The two release their grip on you and rise from the bench.
>Really? What parts of mother did I inherit?" Luna asks.
"Most definitely that award winning smile." She grins even harder before Celestia bumps her aside with her rear.
>"And I Uncle?"
>Unbeknownst to her, while your skull is facing her, your gaze has been pulled to her hind quarters.
"You uhh," if you could sweat right now, it would audible. "certainly inherited her motherly charms."

>>30585762
>She holds her head up proudly as you rise to your feet.
"You know, I was hoping to forget about all that, but after talking about it, especially after all this time has definitely taken some of the bite away from that memory. Plus it's reminded me to be grateful of what I have now."
>You swing an arm over each of your nieces shoulders as they guide you back to your tomb all the while updating you on the goings on in the kingdom since last you awoke.
>Slipping back into your sarcophagus, the girls wish you good night and despite your protests each plant a kiss on your forehead before heading back upstairs to let your old bones rest.
>Someday you'll be able to be there for them longer, but until then you'll just have to keep building your power until you can fully stop whats left of your body from fading away.
>Until then you'll just have to dream of your life in Equestria once again, but this time with a lighter heart and a skeletal grin.
"Man that maid had a pinchable ass."
>Just another day in the life of a lich in Equestria.

And that's it, I've got some other stories I had started or at least planned out so hopefully it doesn't take me another year to finish them. Don't be afraid to tell me what ya thought and I'll try to keep better track of the threads until I'm ready to post again.

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>>30585772

>>30585772
That was a good poke in the feels Tex. Thank you very much. Great job in showing the world your story resides in. The dialog and Anon's storytelling felt natural. Grammar and spelling were good though I'm not the best at spotting errors relating to those. Content i.e., world, characterization, lore and delivery of such is what I tend to get drawn in by. Your short story was rich with all and certainly captivated me.

Thanks again for sharing. Do you have a bin link to share? (shameless spoonfeed request.)

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>>30585676
Good to see you man.
A saved you a beer.

>>30585772
3Spooky5Me

>>30586854
Where's mine

>>30588141
The hog got a hold of the bottle and drank it.

>>30581341
what artist did the original art for this drawing?
I'm not getting anything back with reverse image search because of the rather funny edit.
Also need more sandvich.

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>>30563966
Look at all these headcanons.

>>30588970
Sundown, I think

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>>30589041

>>30589042
you are correct sir. derpibooru search (artist:sundown) for any who don't know.
Thanks mate.

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If you anons want I could do some more Ponynet. It was a while since I did the last one, it could be fun.

>>30589776
yes pls

>>30589776
Why are you even debating it nigger? Of course we want more.

Speaking of writing, can anyone recommend a simple lightweight Windows text editor that has a character counter, because 2000 character limit?

I don't want nor need spellcheck dictionaries, built-in IDE for programming languages, tabs, nor implementation of general expressions in search-and-replace. I just need it to count characters so that I can see when I'm getting close to 2000 and can use that to break my story into chunks. And I would very much prefer something I can install into Windows rather than going to some skeevy web-based app that is presumably paying for itself by slurping up my IP address and the subject matter typed into it to be "monetized."

Does such a thing exist?

>>30590442
Quite a few such things exist. I can remember at least 2, but it's been so long I don't remember the name or link. I think one is buried in the AiE master pastebin somewhere.

>>30590442
I have heard whispers of a plugin for notepad ++ that makes greentext formatting automagic. N++ is a decent small type words into thing too.

>>30589776
You can do it along with reminding me who draws those og pictures.

>>30578216

>Considering the circumstances you elect to take your rest in the form of half sleep for the remainder of the night.
>You relax in a state of semi consciousness until the sun begins filtering through the sole window of the room.
>You don't actually have any sort of schedule you need to keep today but you rise all the same.
>You go to your belongings and select a clean surplice to wear.
>You take a second to revel in the luxury of the act.
>It has been quite some time since you've had a surplus of clothing to choose from.
>Come to think of it it's been some time since you've had a proper bath.
>Astartes physiology does wonders for helping with hygiene but there's not reason to pass up the opportunity when it presents itself.
>You take the tabard from your armor as well as yesterday's clothing and bundle them up stowing them away in the corner.
>Normally you would assume a palace would have servants for doing the laundry, but given how little in the way for normal clothing the xenos wear you are unsure.
>You will look in to that, but first food and a bath.
>You are slightly reticent about leaving your armor unattended for over long but the castle is well guarded and the ponies have given you no cause to distrust them.
>Besides that if any creature here did attempt to steal by any means short of teleportation they'd be easily caught.
>You doubt even the minotaurs could easily lift the suit and carrying it out in pieces would be a time consuming prospect.
>Securing food is a simple matter of navigating the winding path from your room to the kitchen.
>You had been expecting the usual suit of greens and grains the ponies seem to thrive on but are pleasantly surprised to find that meat is on offer.
>You don't even bother to ask what kind it is, it's protein and it's probably not some variant of mutant rat from a ship's bilge, you'll take it.
>Plate piled high you settle in a corner by yourself and begin your meal.

>>30591166
>The guards must have changed shift at some point before you rose.
>Mixed in among the servants and dignitaries occupying the dining area appear to be members of the night watch.
>This is the first time you've bothered to examine one at length, and the physical differences between them and their daylight counterparts are obvious.
>One thing you hadn't noticed before is the blue cats eye gem set into the pectoral of their armor.
>It bears an unpleasant resemblance to the Eye of Horus worn by the Black Legion and their Primarch Horus Lupercal.
>You're willing to put it down as coincidence but Luna had hinted at troubles of her own in the past.
>Perhaps there was some darker influence at play during those times, or perhaps you're making something of nothing.
>You're a Dark Angel such suspicion and speculation is in your nature.
>You'll just have to be mindful that you don't let such idle thoughts color your actions.
>As you're finishing your breakfast a servant approaches.
>"Sir Anoniaus, I'm sorry to interrupt but there are some crafts-ponies here to see you. Princess Luna sent for them some time ago."
>That is rather quicker than you had expected, then again it is by order of the Princess.
>You set your plate aside and rise gesturing for the servant to lead the way.
"Very well, I will need to gather some things from my room, then take me to them if you would."
>After a quick detour to retrieve a bag with the damaged parts of your armor as well as the gems you had collected she leads you to them.
>They are gathered in the castles antechamber half a dozen of them in all waiting expectantly for you.
"You have already been told why you were summoned?"
>A thin older stallion wearing a black apron with many pockets on the front is the first to speak.
>"Yes, the princess sent a missive, something about cutting rubies in to lenses."
"That is correct, they will need to be cut to fit this."
>You present your helm to him indicating the empty eye socket.

>>30591167
>He produces magnifying monocle from one of the pockets on the apron and leans in to study your helm intently.
>"Seems like a simple enough job, I'll just take this back to my shop and.."
"You will take measurements and work with those. This armor is currently irreplaceable. No part of it will leave my possession."
>A few murmurs from among the artisans at that comment.
"You will be allowed to take as many measurements as you need and will be allowed access the the pieces when I am present."
"I understand this may make your duties more difficult, I shall ask the Princess to compensate you accordingly should you complete them."
>You allow them a moment to consider your terms before asking
"Do we have a bargain then?"
>Enticed either by the prospect of pay, or the prestige working on a commission by a Princess might bring they all agree fairly quickly.
>Apprentices are sent to fetch tools, measurements are taken, and questions about materials to be used are asked.
>With everything set in order you bid the artisans farewell and begin your walk back to your room, the servant mare falling in with you.
>Despite a poor night's sleep you've already eaten well and your armor will soon be in full repair, or at least very near to it.
>You inquire with the servant who had acted as your guide about a bath and place to launder your clothes.
>"If you just leave the laundry out I'll take care of it for you, and for the bath I'll let one of the girls know to go ahead and prepare one."
>"You'll find it just a floor down from your room and a hall over, can't miss it."
"Thank you, your efforts are appreciated."
>Such service may be the duty of the castle staff, but it never hurts to thank ones servants.
>Servants are in a position to hear many things, and being well liked by them can mean being well informed.

>>30591170
Busy day so I didn't get to sit and write as much as I wanted. Figured getting something up was better than nothing at least.
Updated pastebin https://pastebin.com/4DcZLrJe
Next update should contain a little action.

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>>30589885
>>30590432
It shall be done.
>>30591131
http://derpibooru.org/tags/artist-colon-sundown
Sundown, mostly does humanized if you're into that but has plenty hoarse too, usually taking sizes that would be fatal if not for their cartoon elasticity.

>>30583778
I like it, please continue sometime

>>30591464
I never get tired of how worried they look.

>>30591185
>3 am update
>4u?
Fallanon the trooper

>>30577895
Against my better judgement I went ahead and read "Obsession" anyway. It was a very good read and yeah, he ain't coming back from that.

>>30591464
>Sundown
Oh yeah. That guy. Much appreciated.

>>30591185
I forgot to mention this before, but tabards over armor is truly patrician taste. I'm highly enjoying anon's humanity still, keep it up.

>>30591464
>Ponynet?
Forgive me. You you have a bin? I consider myself a newfag still. I've only been around since just before the beginning of Fallanon's story.

Horse sandwiches.

>>30592710
I herd u'r waifu likes to be the meat in horse sandwiches

>>30592772
Filthy voreits.

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>>30592772
I think you may be right.

>>30592789
Now now, vore is a perfectly viable way to dispose of infertile mares. We need to make room for the foal makers after all.

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>>30576229
I seem to be lost in the conversation as well.
What the fuck is going on?
>>30573696 and yes, that is coming later, when I actually have some motivation to write anything

>>30593382
"When a man, a woman, and a mare love one another very, very much..."

>>30593382
Oh shit. I wonder if that really was on a shelf somewhere.

>>30594376
I really, really hope so.

I've posted it in drawthreads and asked for lewds of a man-woman-hoers threesome. Thus far the cutest thing anyone's done is

https://derpibooru.org/1456554

which is not especially lewd. It's very well done, and suggestive, maybe, but not really the kind of thing I had in mind.

Ever notice that in all the erotic greentext we hardly ever see a female human character? And I don't think I've ever seen a man-woman-mare menage a trois described in clop.

>>30594376
Looks like a Wallyworld price tag

>>30594606
cause only Anonpencil is female and she can't stop writing about penises.

Dolphin or otherwise

>>30594760
I wasn't aware.

dolphins are kind of sexy. do any female dolphins get fucked? and do they talk? link?

>>30590442
If you have 4chanX, no idea if native 4chan has the options, it'll count the characters for you and allow you to set up multiple posts in order. You can just cut and paste the whole thing into 2000.

>>30595400
Thanks.

>>30594606
Thanks for the link. I know what you mean but the pic is still funny though.

>>30595400
Have the issues with 4chanX compatibility been ironed out already. I remember recent board updates caused all kinds of posting problem.

>>30597382
Yeah, that's all fixed.

I remember thread 100, and I remember when PiE was its own thread. When did the merge happen?

>>30597441
When you werent looking

>>30591526
Yeah my work schedule kinda sucks lately so the short late night updates may become more regular through the week and weekends are gonna be when I can sit and write at leisure

>>30591692
Glad you're enjoying it, and it would seem we have similar taste in armor aesthetics.

>>30597441
Like three times already, probably more. They keep trying to have a go at it on their own and return to us.
I think they're trying again now, we just keep the PiE corner there for whenever they finally decide to accept their place as our little bosum baby

>>30597591
I kind of like it that this thread has a "safety net" of sorts for PiE. AiE 'hosts' short one shots but they have room to get a big, thread carrying green over there. When it's done it's can be stored in the PiE section of the bin here.

>>30598328
Exactly. Plus we still have enough going on that it is worth your time to peek in once a day.

>>30593387
A mare who is dinner feeds one. A mare who cooks dinner feeds many.

>>30599168
But she is using property and potentially distracting stallions who won't do their duty and impregnate suitable mares. Plus too many infertile mares could take away inheritance from her more important breeder siblings. If Pinkie doesn't produce a foal before her parents die she may be forced to do the honorable thing.

>>30599643
Someone's got to watch the kids.

Just look at Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Pinkie spends her time working the store, watching the kids, planning parties and saving the world. She spends a lot of her energy and risks her life on the other necessary chores in life allowing the more productive Cakes to focus on keeping Equestria strong.

And I don't see any of the Pie sisters with a kid either. I think that farm may need a government inspection.

>>30599869
I'd be happy to inspect Marble..err...the farm.

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>>30599643
>If Pinkie doesn't produce a foal
>poners need to be able to multiply

problem solved

>>30600038
Perhaps it wasn't a cloning pool at all, but a gateway to another dimension.

Hundreds of parallel Equestrias are now Pinkie free.

>>30599937
>beta pony
Your taste is as sour as this lemon. I bet you main Fluttershy too.

>>30600368
It comes down to a choice between Limestone and Marble. I don't have the patience to deal with Limestone so Marble it is.

>>30594760
I can confirm, it is hard not to write about the peen.
B-but I did write female... once or twice...
Sorta.

>>30594838
Oh, also, sorry to disappoint, no female dolphins. Just seaponies with dolphin dicks.
https://pastebin.com/JTgFf7vS

File: fun cutie mark.png (83KB, 739x907px) Image search: [Google]

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>>30600038
>pinkie clones herself
>clones clone themselves
>twilight murders all the clones
>except one, the last one
>it was too retarded from cloning degradation to fall for the trick
>anon finds her in the park
>the only word she can say is 'fun'

>>30600746
>"fun"
>not "Hodor"

anon I am disappoint

>>30583770
Twilight Sparkle
>You returned to Canterlot when afternoon was turning into evening on the day following your departure.
>The train was nearly empty and nopony stopped you to take a photo, or to ask for an interview, or for an autograph while you passed through Canterlot on your way to the castle.
>It was as if you were just a unicorn again.
>In other words, absolutely amazing!
>But, as much as you would have liked, you couldn't spend the evening in the city.
>Sunburst and you had enchanted four amulets, now safely in your saddlebags, with with potent translation spells, each with slightly different combinations to increase the chance that even one would work.
>And you couldn't wait to try them.
>There was so much to ask, about his home world and his life and what kind of beings his species were.
>Were they kind and loving like ponies, hardy and difficult to approach griffins, proud and strong like dragons or something else entirely?
>How did they get their food; were they hunters or farmers?
>What sort of a society did they have? What sort of ethics did they follow?
>And what about their history? It had to be at least as exciting as that of Equestria!
>There was so much to learn!

Ambassador Anon

>*Knockknockknock*
>Oh for fucks sake. Can't a man walk around naked in his house without people coming to visit.
>Wrapping a curtain round your waist, you head to the door.
>That reminds you, have to hang the curtains up. You've been meaning to do that for 3 months now.
>Holy fuck it's a guard.
>"Whatever it was I didn't do it."
>"Are you Emperor Anonymous, Ambassador of the Mighty and Eternal Terran Empire, Lord of Riddles and Non-sequitors, Captain of the Infinite Legion?"
>So this is what screaming internally sounds like.
>"Yes?"
>"Princess Celestia and Princes Luna demand your presence at once. Please get in the chariot."
>The princesses are using every pompous title you ever used as an excuse to get away with or avoid doing something.
>It seems it's once again time to pay for claiming diplomatic immunity.
>This also means they want to fuck with you.
>Before you can respond the guard begins pushing you in the direction of the chariot.
>By headbutting you in the butt.

>>30600989
>You giddily trot through the main gate just as the sun was setting, the sky a blend of yellows, oranges and reds
>The display was especially flagrant thanks to some high-up clouds being lit from below by the last rays of daylight.
>It was as if Princess Celestia had decided to gift the entire region with a piece of her very own art.
>”Princess Twilight?”
>You bring your eyes down from the display above and face the guardspony who had addressed you.
“Huh? Yes?”
>Being called 'Princess Twilight' still confused you when you weren't paying attention, and you'd been absorbed in admiring the skies.
>”Princess Luna requested to send you to her as soon as you arrived. She should be in her room now, raising the moon.”
>Blinking twice, you tried and failed to come up with a reason why Luna would want to see you with such urgency.
>”Okay. I'll go see her.”

>>30600999
>Knocking on the door, you call for her.
“Princess Luna?”
>You hadn't even visited your own room to leave your saddlebags before you'd come here.
>”Come in.”
>Her response was immediate, and you gave the door a firm push to open it.
>The room was dark, the lights unlit, but you saw Luna on her balcony, her silhouette visible against the last glow of dusk.
>Her mane and tail seemed like rifts in reality, windows to the night sky, and you could swear that her eyes glowed ever so slightly.
>The moment did not last as her horn flashed in her soft aura and the lights came on, filling the room with their soft light and flooding out the ethereal lights in Luna's mane and tail.
>”I believe my sister-”
>You winced at the bitterness in her voice as she spits out the reference to Princess Celestia.
>”-sent you to the Crystal Empire yesterday.”
“Well, not really sent me but...”
>A few alternatives formed in your mind as you paused briefly in attempt to come up with the right words to defuse the situation.
“...rather, pointed me in the right direction.”
>Luna glanced your way, looking down her muzzle as if your presence was something insulting.
“Uh, Sunburst had some fantastic ideas that I would've never thought of and we made so much progress that-”
>”It is fine, Twilight Sparkle. You simply forgot that you had a guest to take care of before rushing off to do your research.”

>>30600997
>---------------------------------------
>"Welcome Emperor Anonymous." Luna performs a mocking bow.
>It seems Luna is in full sarcasm mode this morning. She has a scathing wit.
>Celestia does too but she's too nice to use it.
>"Yes, you honor us with your presence."
>On anyone except you.
>Both Princesses are grinning like maniacs.
>"Ok, ok, enough with the teasing why am I here?"
>Luna pouts
>"But we had many more witticisms to use against thee Anonymous."
>"I'm sure you can save them for a later time sister, this is official business for once."
>Official business? Aw shit. You hate business that's official.
>"Anon we have need of thee as an ambassador.
>"Excuse me."
>Celestia laughs quietly.
>"There is a certain amount of irony in it. But it seems you are needed to play the role of ambassador, we can't send anypony else."
>"What do you mean can't send anyone else? Ambassador to where?"
>"The Changeling Kingdom."
>You're not really sure how to respond to all this. Changelings? What?
>"We need to strengthen ties with and show our support to Thorax and the Changelings."
>"But our subjects may be prejudiced against them."
>"And I'm not?"
>Luna gives you a look that screams 'Don't try to worm your way out of this.'
>"My little ponies grew up hearing tales of evil Changelings, even Twilight and her friends. This is a sensitive time for the Changeling Kingdom. We-"
>"Alright, alright, I get it. I'll go be all ambassadorial and stuff."
>Celestia trots forward and wing hugs you.
>"Thank you Anon. It will only be for a month."
>A month? Fucking hell.
>"Don't suppose I could get out of this by claiming diplomatic immunity?"
>You're rewarded for your insolence by being bapped on the head by Celestia's wings.

>>30601001
>...
>Uhh.
>Your mouth was left hanging open as your mind attempted to catch up with what Luna had said, and what it meant.
>You'd completely forgotten about Anonymous and his needs.
>You hadn't even instructed the guards to bring him something to eat.
“Hehe.”
>The kitchen. Now.
“I'll just... go make sure he isn't... starving...”
>Luna glares at you as you begin reversing out of the room, her muzzle up in the air as a sign of disgust.
>”Worry not, I have taken care of your duties in your absence. Your guest is fine.”
>Your emotions tumble around after her back-and-forth, leaving you stunned for a second.
>”And that is not why I called you here.”
>Her shod hooves clop on stone as she comes closer, her mask of feigned disgust dropping and revealing eyes wide with suppressed distress.
>”He needs your help, Twilight Sparkle. Ask him why he came here. Everything else should be secondary.”

Oh shit we're crossing the streams.
>>30601007
>You were told the Changeling Kingdom was a wasteland dominated by a large hive spire.
>It seems they're making a concerted effort to change that, groups of colorful changelings are busying themselves planting flowers and trees everywhere.
>The land surrounding the spire is like a half finished flower ship. And the spire itself, it's hard to describe.
>Like the walls have an aurora borealis trapped inside them.
>And before a cavernous entrance at the base of the spire is your welcome party.
>A delegation of changelings, led by a larger one who you assume is Thorax.
>"Hello... wait no, erm. I mean, Greetings Ambassador Anonymous. I am, well I don't really have a title but I'm Thorax and I'm sort of the leader of the Changelings."
>"I wanted to give you a formal greeting but I guess I need more practice."
>He lets out a nervous chuckle. Well isn't that just adorkable.
>"Don't worry about it."
>"I should probably show you to your room next. Stay close it can be easy to get lost if you're not a changeling."
>As he leads you inside the rest of the delegation tags along, they haven't said anything yet.
>Thorax meanwhile is doing his level best not to appear nervous. His best isn't good enough.
>But you can tell by the way the other changelings follow after him and look at him, he's large and in charge.
>He's sweet but clearly has no idea what he's doing.
>Of course that's less of an issue when your followers don't have a clue either.
>Suppose you can't really blame them, this is unknown territory and as new to them as it is to everyone else in Equestria.

>>30601011
Just a quick something I wrote now that I'm back home.

Should I adopt a trip or something?

>>30601013
>---------------------------------------
>Ambassador Report: Day Two.

>Dear Celestia and Luna,

>I'm still tired, why did you make me walk here?
>If you think there won't be retaliation for this, well let's just say watch out for falling cakes.
>I didn't do anything ambassadorial yesterday because I was about ready to drop the moment I arrived.
>They've put in me Chrysalis' old room, it's the only room large enough for my proportions apparently.
>Clearly they tried to redecorate and spruce it up a bit but it's still pretty grim and spikey.
>They probably don't like coming in here, bad memories and all that.
>Still the bed was very comfortable but I'm not going to ask what it's made from, cause I don't want to know.
>I won't like knowing. I'm sure of it.
>Anyway I went straight to bed to enjoy a good nights sleep.
>Which I did, until shortly after midnight when a giant hole in the floor opened.
>Why did no one tell me changeling hives have a mind of thier own and an active lifestyle?

>Your currently in pain Ambassador,
>Anonymous.

https://pastebin.com/tvCKwvrc

>>30601018
Yes, and a paste. Faggot

>>30581341
I demand more greentext! PLEASE!!!

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>>30591464
T-thank you anon.

>>30601018
Trip is optional, pastebin is required.
Still looking forward to more.

Might be no update for a couple more days. Work is worse than usual due to poor management. I came in at 3pm and if I'm really really lucky I'll be done to start my drive home by 3 am. Sorry about the slow down content.

>>30560947
anybody have a link to that one-shot where no ponies have genitalia except for alicorns? anon dicks celestia?

>>30599869
Fertility is something they check in adolescence. So her sisters are fine. The problem is that anyone else could do what Pinkie does and still pop a baby out. She is considered less by default and when the time comes she will be expected to do the honorable thing. Now, she could just continue on. No one is going to force her to be eaten and then pooed into a shallow grave, but that is what society expects her to do. Plus it's not like she can use the pension system or even the horspital after a certain point.
>>30599937
I think most of us would any pony that we could get a hold of. Not my first choice, but would still cuddle under duress.
>>30600038
See, this is why Twilight was able to destroy so many without guilt. Who needs more sterile mares running around?

Of course different ponies have different traditions.
Pegasai must serve in the military until death.
Unicorns must submit themselves to magical experimentation.
Earth ponies get swallowed whole by dragons and pooed into a hole in their garden. Afterwards the witnesses will sing the"You got Eaten, Glad it Wasn't me you Freeloader" song.

This of course is all rendered moot when Pinkie is knocked up by Anon and she produces a EQG style human abomination.

>>30603125
You say anyone could do what Pinkie does, and I'd argue that while others could do those things it eats up their more important time, but I'm beginning to suspect there's a reason the elements of harmony picked the 6 most hopeless virgins.

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Is there an Achilles anon in equestria fic yet?

>>30603166
Being disposable is a nice trait to have in a "National Hero." I wonder if Sunbutt has villains on speed dial or if she uses an agency?

>>30603018
jeeze, what are ya, an ER nurse?

>>30603200
Worse, he's one of their shoes.

>>30591464
YES! YESSSSS!

In another thread, there was a fellow poster who promised to writefag about Anon going to Equestria during the period when Luna and Celestia were still children.
Unfortunately the thread 404d, so in case you're lurking please start writing here.
I would love to see this scenario played out.

>>30603287
>Luna and Celestia were still children
Sometime, I want anon fuck Mane 6's ancestor

>>30603287
We've had several stories about that concept, you'll have to be more specific.

I can deny it no longer.
Luna is my ONE TRUE WAIFU
Anyone got any fics that involve her and anon?

>>30603200
I was not lucky. It is almost 4 am and no nothing so important sadly.
I just work a loading dock job, but due to the manager who actually knows how to do things being out it's all gone to hell.
I'm cursed with competence so I have to spend all night fixing other peoples mistakes, which takes longer than if they'd just had me do the job in the first place.

Does anyone know of any good fallout AiE crossovers?

>>30603368
I wasn't requesting a story that had been already written.
Let me try to phrase it better:
Yesterday there was a prompt thread about anon meeting Luna and Celestia when they were kids. One of the anons said that he would surely write a greentext story when he got off work. Unfortunately the thread 404d, so I made this post in the hopes that if that anon lurked this thread he would write the story here instead of scrapping it all together.

>>30603527
this is one of my favorites
https://pastebin.com/G62gnh1V

>>30603527
>>30603658
Blood moon, i think its called that, is also a good one, but i dont have a link to it

>>30603643
Ah. Well, if he doesn't post, there are a half dozen or so here.

>>30603093
I know what you're talking about Anon, and it kills me that I can't find it for you.

>>30603658
I second this, it's one of the extremely few greens I've loved enough to re-read.

>>30603658
>>30603723
I found it extremely OOC, as interesting as it was. Luna's characterization was a fun change from the norm, as was the style, but the plot was just awful.

>>30603179
If there is, I'm gonna read the shit out of it, the idea is genius

>>30585682
>>It's the bone phone!

Fucking LOST it.

>>30601018
Yes. Trip if you plan on creating more stories. Pastebin is required.

File: 715615__safe_princess+celestia_princess+luna_headcanon_popcorn_redpilled-dash-mlp-dash-headcanons_remote_s1+luna_trollestia.png (190KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>30603196
>I wonder if Sunbutt has villains on speed dial or if she uses an agency?

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>>30604351
She gets mad if Luna starts without her.

>>30603714
i already looked in both the complete story list and the stories sorted by pony. i even checked out the celestia thread archive and couldnt find it. im in some kind of special hell

>>30604864
If you remember a specific line from it, try searching that on one of the archive sites.

File: 820511__safe_princess+luna_princess+celestia_colored_letter_drugs_marijuana_drug+use_friendship+report_artist-colon-noben.jpg (184KB, 1280x989px) Image search: [Google]

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>>30604674
They do everything together.

>>30601018
Chiming in. Trip would be nice but a pastebin is really needed. I'm looking forward to more.

>>30601025
Got my attention He-Anon. I don't think I've read a Thorax fic yet.

>>30603125
>...would still cuddle...
This Anon gets it.

>>30603527
Lots of Luna stuff here.
Moon-Day Pastebin
https://pastebin.com/He5X50m6

>>30603658
I remember that! It is truly a lovely story.

>>30605124
I've found many like that with an exact phrase google search.

File: casual.jpg (9KB, 101x104px) Image search: [Google]

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No dying while I'm writing.

>>30607367
kay

File: an.png (122KB, 394x368px) Image search: [Google]

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best AiE green of all time is ____?

>>30607681
all of them

I'm drunk. It's time.

>One would think that being a plastic surgeon in Equestria is a terrible idea. After all, they’re ponies, what do they need plastic surgery for? But, as you’ve come to find from being here as long as you have, these ponies use plastic surgery… a lot. Those smooth faces seem ageless for a reason, and those princesses? You really think those horns don’t have extensions? The only ponies who have not visited your office in recent days seem to be the Apple family and their kin… which actually makes sense considering how little they care about looks. Have you [i]seen[/i] that Granny Smith?
>Yeech…
>Either way, that’s terribly good news for you. Upon arriving here, you worried you would have no way to get by as a plastic surgeon, your lifelong passion. But it’s been less than a year, and you’re already well established, with a steady stream of clients. Yessir, things could not be better.
>You’re musing about that very fact to yourself one sunny Tuesday afternoon, when a loud knock rattles your office door. It’s enough to make you jump a little, but you quickly compose yourself and clear your throat before answering.
“Yes, come in,” you call.
>The knob strains to turn, and you hear a scrabbling, as if the pony on the other side is having issues getting the door open. You’re just standing up to offer help, when you suddenly see a plume of steam rising from the doorknob. As you watch, it glows a blistering red, then melts in a few licks of flames before sliding down the wood towards the floor.
>You plaster yourself backwards in you chair. Jesus Christ, what the fuck kind of pony can do THAT? As if in answer, your door sings open, and a looming, blue, curvy shape stands in your doorframe. You gape at the shape as it spreads its bat-like wings, and steps inside.
>Holy fuck it’s a fucking dragon.
“Never could get the hang of doorknobs,” the creature says in a sighing, female voice.

(1/?)

>>30608111

“OH MY GOD I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T EAT ME!” you instinctually wail.
>The dragon blinks at you, then slowly shakes her head.
“Uh… why would I do that?”
“B-because… wait, don’t dragons always eat knights? I haven’t seen any other humans here, so I just assumed-”
“What’s a knight?”
“Never mind, never mind,” you say quickly, trying to recompose yourself as you think about that major bullet you just dodged. “I just… er… I’ve never seen a dragon here.”
>Well, except for Spike, but he doesn’t count. You suppose it all stands to reason somewhat though. Magical unicorns, talking ponies, talking blue sparkly dragons are basically the next logical step.
“We don’t exactly live her,” she says with a shrug. “But I heard you were good at… helping change appearances. And I thought perhaps you could help me out. You will be discreet, won’t you?”
>You smile warmly at her, in your best I-am-totally-not-eating-excess-horse-meat-from-my-surgeries kind of way.
“Of course, please do sit down.”
>You gesture towards the chair across your desk from you, not at all wondering what dragon meat tastes like. She hesitates, then settles in and glances around your office, hopefully spying pictures of your best customers. That Mayor Mare is definitely some of your best work.
“So,” you go on, “What seems to be the trouble?”
“You change faces and bodies and stuff, right?”
>You nod, still smiling gently.
“And… You can make sure folks look exactly as they want to, right?”
>Once more, you move your head up and down like one of those weird drinking birds.
“So…” she pauses, once again, obviously uncomfortable. “I’d like you to do something to make me more… sexy.”

(2/?)

>>30608122

>You study her for a moment, wondering what kind of poor pathetic sap that probably lives with his mom in some southern California slum would find this dragon sexy. Where would you even put… how would you… ah well, that’s what you’re there for, you suppose.
“I can arrange that,” you say. “Do you have any specifics in mind?”
>This time, she’s the one who nods. After she stops, though, she remains silent a moment.
“Well,” you prompt. “No need to be embarrassed, I’m here to help. I’ll even take notes.”
>She takes a deep breath, shuts her flame-colored eyes, and when she opens them again, she speaks calmly. As if this whole thing is her dictating an order.
“I’ve seen and conversed with ponies for some time now, and I’ve noticed that some of them… well. They have these lumps between their legs.”
>Oh god, she’s here to ask for a penis. Instantly you begin assessing what a horse penis would even look like on a dragon. It’s difficult to keep a straight face as she continues.
“Two of them, side by side. Sometimes they get bigger and sway, and honestly, they seem a little odd to me. But male ponies seem to love them, and female ponies that have them always get extra attention, respect, gifts, reverence. You’d almost think that the bigger those lumps, the greater the status symbol. That wouldn’t be such a problem except that now male dragons are beginning to find these jiggly lumps alluring as well, and they’re trying to breed with ponies rather than dragons. It… doesn’t really work.”
>As you picture it in your mind, you can see that she’d definitely be right. Entertaining, but ineffective. But at least she doesn't want a surgically added horse penis, that's... sort of a relief. Maybe. This still sounds pretty weird.

(3/?)

>>30608126

“So, as ruler of the dragons, I feel it is my duty to step in and take back the attention and reverence of my male populace. I need to be sexy, sexier than any ponies. So I need those lumps, and I need them now.”
>You sit in your chair and simply stare at the dragon lady across from you.
>“So,” you say slowly, trying to put together everything you can in your head. “Dragons find breasts sexy. So you want breast implants.”
“Yes.”
“Even though you’re a dragon.”
“Yes.”
“Even though you’re a reptile.”
“Yes.”
>You lapse into silence again. There are so many things wrong right now, it’s hard to know where to begin.
“Okay, so,” you say haltingly. “As a plastic surgeon, I have to tell you… I have some concerns.”
>The blue dragon frowns at you.
“Name them,” she demands simply, her flaming eyes staring straight through you to the darkest parts of your quasi-cannibalistic soul.
“Well,” you say, still fumbling for words as you speak. “Those lumps you’re talking about, breasts, are actually mammary glands. I can augment them, replace them, stick in weird jelly bag implants to give them all the playfulness of a bounce castle, but I usually have something to start with. Because mammaries are how mammals nurse their young. Do you see what I’m saying?”
>By the way she’s blinking at you so coldly, you can see that she definitely doesn’t. You try again, being more direct.
“You’re a reptile, correct?”
“Yes.”
“And you have your babies in egg form, yes?”
“Yes.”
“So you don’t give birth to live young like mammals, and don’t produce milk to feed them. Reptiles aren’t really designed to have breasts."
"So, you're saying it's a reptile disfunction?"
"I'm gonna just ignore that."

(4/?)

>>30608137

"Anyway, you have many other lovely features to augment… tail extensions, horn coloring, scale enlargements, I’m sure. But giving your breasts seems… almost unethical. I mean, where would I even put them? You don’t exactly walk like a pony.”
>You feel as if you’re being a bit harsh, but maybe a little honesty is good here. The dragon looks around your office, chewing her lower lip with massive, pale fangs, as if she’s trying to find something to say. Perhaps she’ll take you up on that scale enlargement, you think to yourself. You’re not sure it’s exactly sexy to other dragons, but you could probably sell her on the idea that it is. Suddenly, her eyes stop moving, and she points to a picture on your desk.
“There,” she says. “Just like that.”
>Your eyes follow her claws to the picture of Dusty Gozongas. Definitely not your handiwork, but it’s at least a cartoon example of boobs, and how would those ponies know if you’d given them to her or not? You’ve never regretted having them on your desk, until now.
“You mean… on your chest,” you say.
“Precisely. I’m mostly bipedal anyway, they’d be much more convenient up there.”
>You gingerly massage the bridge of your nose. You really don’t want to do this. It doesn’t make sense, you’re not sure if you could manage it. Aren’t dragons supposed to be burning to the touch or something, with acid blood? Or were those aliens…
“I… see,” you say. “I still do have my concerns about this. Perhaps take a day or two to think it over before-”
“Did you miss the part,” the dragon interrupts you abruptly. “Where I said I needed them now? Or the part where I said I was ruler of the dragons?”
>You pause, rethinking those parts. Oh shit, is she some kind of queen?
“I…er…”

(5/?)

>>30608144

“You don’t have much of a choice in the matter. I want these done. If you can help me, you must do it, end of story. If you refuse, I will roast you and eat you as a delicacy. Now, take notes, human creature.”
>The sharpened point of her words is edgier than any fedora-wearing teen boy you’ve ever met, and you quickly abide. You pull out a pad of paper and a pencil, and begin jotting notes as she rises from her chair to wander around your office.
“I will need them to be big,” she says thoughtfully, scratching her chin with one claw. “As big as any pony’s head. And bouncy. If I must have these strange things, they might as well be fun. Most ponies have two so… perhaps three? Or would that be overdoing it. No, I think three is about right. Also, did you say that pony breasts produce milk?”
“Y-yes,” you stutter out. “They only sometimes do though, so-”
“Well dragons do not care for milk, but we do enjoy gems and lava. So mine should produce those. In great quantity.”
“…you want me to make you breasts that can squirt gems and lava.”
“Yes, did I stutter? Lastly, I would like you to put spikes on them, all the way around. I wish to look strong, foreboding, so I will be worshiped but never looked down upon. Should the need arise, I will use these as weapons. That should be about all. Is that understood?”
>You stare down at your notepad with empty eyes. You’d started out taking notes, but instead stopped halfway through, in favor of drawing a small human man smashing his head on a desk over and over again. What even is this? Is this a prank? Is she joking? She can’t really want you to do this.
“I…” you say brokenly. “Couldn’t we just, I dunno, have sex instead?”
“What?”
“I don’t know, some people would probably be into it. Never mind.”
“So you’ll do it then?”

(6/?)

>>30608152

>Imitating the little man in your drawing, you carefully lower your head to your desk. You’re dead if you don’t do this, but you seriously question if you’ll be able to pull it off. Besides looking stupid, the capabilities of these breasts… it’s like they’re asking you to redesign the Bradley Infantry Fighting Vehicle, but actually make it functional. Still a death trap but, you know, functional.
“I’ll try?”
“There is no try here, human. There’s do it or I kill you. Now, when do we start?”
>You raise your head and stare at her bare, scale chest, where she’s asked you to put three garish and absurd barnacles. She’s right. You have no choice.
“Now is okay,” you croak out. “Just go into that room over there and lie down.”
>You follow her into the next room and wait for her to lie down on the table. Once she’s there, you carefully twist a knob on the large metal tank next to the bed marked “Ether”. It’s not what you prefer to use for general anesthesia, and its not a gas so it doesn’t spread as well, but whatever. You just up it’s strong enough to knock out a dragon.
“This is a substance that, when you breathe the fumes from it, will put you to sleep,” you explain. “I’ll then do the surgery while you are out. Do you have any questions?”
>You’re already moving the mask over her face as she glances from the tank, then back at you.
“Wait, isn’t Ether flammable?” she says.
“Yes.”
“Aren’t you worried that, because I’m a dragon I might… have a problem with that?”
“Wait, why would you…”
>It all clicks suddenly. It clicks just in time for you to see the dragon’s nostril’s twitch and her face contort. It clicks just in time for you to realize that you’ve seen Spike sneeze before, and you know how that usually goes. It clicks just in time for you to be grateful, for just a moment, that you won’t have to do this stupid surgery.
>Then the dragon sneezes.

(7/8)

>>30608163

>The explosion can be seen all the way from Twilight’s castle. As little bits of you rain down in what was once your office, the dragon sits up, shakes her head, and groans to herself.
“Great,” she grumbles. “Now I guess I’ll just have to find someone to surgically put a horse penis on me instead.”

-END-

(8/8)

https://pastebin.com/1FYxYDFj

God I'm tired. And I'm almost out of wine. And I didn't write... that much about penis this time. Only a little. Only a little penis.

Hope your weeks are going well.

>>30608178
yep

File: 891596.jpg (186KB, 1277x998px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 1277x998px

>>30608178
Always good to have an appearance from you, anon. Hope your week is going good as well.

>>30608178
That's a penis.

>>30608393
A little penis only.
I really should write more about vagoo than I already do. Or at least post more of it here.

File: 8384568346834.jpg (78KB, 500x506px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 500x506px

>>30560947
Dead thread general?

Shame considering there's some really great fics in the pastebin.

>>30608474
Wasn't there an idea floatig around a while back where Anon could only see pony reproductive organs and nothing else? So it just looks like there are horse uterus floating around talking to him?

>>30609381
Go home Miro, you're dead.

>>30609415
I shouldn't have laughed that hard.

>>30609415
Not one of mine, but I definitely think someone should give it a go!

>>30601011
”What do you mean?”
>Luna drew a sharp breath and glared at you with narrowed eyes.
>It made you flatten your ears as you thought she'd snap at you.
>Instead, she remained still for a second before lowering her head and looking at the floor between you while letting out a sigh.
>”I visited his dream last night.”
>She spoke slowly, pausing between words.
>”What I saw was... disturbing.”
>Lifting her head, she looked at you with pleading eyes.
>”It is not for me to divulge the dreams I visit unto others. But, if you had seen it, you would agree that he is in the need of the aid of the Princess of Friendship.”
>She'd regained her composure and her voice had returned to normal, but her eyes told you that she'd seen something that touched her deeply.
>It encouraged you to believe her, despite your doubts.
“I... I'll try to help him.”
>You really wanted to, but how?
>Maybe, if one of the amulets worked, you'd find out.

>You left Luna's room a few minutes later.
>She had refused to talk about the plea for help, claiming that going into any detail would be divulging his dream, but did say that she hadn't fed Anonymous tonight and suggested you did that.
>From the way she said it, you got the feeling that she didn't like keeping him captive – which was less than surprising since she hadn't been too keen to lock him up when you princesses had had the meeting after his arrival.
>Thanks to her own imprisonment on the moon if you had to guess.
>You doubted that was the reason why she was interested in him, though.
>That, you suspected, had to do with how his arrival reminded her of her own return.
>They had both been feared.
>But Luna had had Celestia and you help her and Ponyville, and the rest of Equestria, overcome their fear of each other.
>Anonymous had no-one.
>That would also explain why she thought he needed your help.

>>30609437
>The tray full of foodstuffs floats above you as you climb the stairs to Anonymous' room.
>This time you'd included some common pony foods like some bread, a cupcake, a hayburger and a bowl of carrot soup you'd found in the kitchen and heated.
>On top of an assortment of fruit, of course.
>You knew he wouldn't stay healthy on a diet of nothing but fruit.
>Which reminded you that your change in plumbing should have produced results by now.
>You'd have to see to it after testing the pendants.
>It should be an informative, if unpleasant task.

>As you reached the landing in front of the door to Anonymous' room, you banged your hoof on the door thrice before pushing it open.
>He was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, looking your way and holding some metal wire he'd been bending into a cube.
>You were about to cry out for the guards, thinking that someone other than you or Luna had been here, when you noticed that the wardrobe was open and some of the coat hangers were missing.
>That was where he'd got the wire from.
>His eyes moved from you to the tray while you were still looking at the wire cube he'd made.
>You set the tray down on the floor next to him and watched as he reached out and touched the side of the bowl of soup with a single finger, at first very briefly and then for a few seconds.
>He must've seen the faint plume of steam rising off it and realized it was hot, and luckily didn't seem to mind that you'd forgotten to take a spoon.

>>30609442
>You took out the four pendants from your bags as he sipped the soup, nodded, and took another sip.
>You were levitating one of them towards him, hoping he wouldn't mind, when he noticed something moving and looked at the pendant.
>His eyes followed it, his head craning upwards as you lifted it over him, but he made no effort to stop it as you gently lowered it and slipped it on.
>He cocked an eyebrow and looked at you after you were done, then returned his attention to the soup bowl.
“Does it work? Can you understand me?”
>You got ignored as he drank some more soup.
>That one would have provided the most accurate translation...
>Sighing in disappointment, you lighted your horn and took the failure off him.
>He jerked as he saw your aura suddenly light up around his neck, nearly spilling some of his soup.
“Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you.”
>After you'd put on the next necklace, he looked at you again and lifted his shoulders while tilting his head to the side.
>The third one produced no response, other than him grabbing an apple while ignoring you.
>He noisily bit into the apple as you took out the last of the enchanted pendants.
>This one was far more general than the others, but its translation would not be as accurate.
>You swallowed and put it on him, as you had done with the others.
“I hope at least this one works...”
>His reaction was immediate.
>He had been peeling a banana, but froze the moment you spoke.
>Turning slowly, he faced you and looked at your face, his eyes darting from one feature to another as he studied them.
>”So, you have known this language all along.”
>He sported a heavy accent, overpronouncing most consonants.
>Or it could be just the spell.

>>30609447
Now comes in handy Pastebin form: https://pastebin.com/5m1dnQZ0
Also has a name! This is now called "Option Three"
As always, I'm looking for feedback. Should be easier now that you have the bin.

>>30609425
Anonymous: Involuntary Horse Gynecologist.

>>30609461
Drowning in horse pussy, whether he wants to or not.

File: 1458491__ds.png (4MB, 1870x2000px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 1870x2000px

>>30609454
Sehr gute, bitte. Great work, has me interested. Keep it up

>>30591170
>You take your time heading down stairs, giving the servants time to have things prepared before you arrive.
>You're not certain exactly what you were expecting, but the bath is impressive dominating most of the room.
>A series of tiered ledges serve as seats allowing for the occupant to lounge in the shallows or stand in the deeper areas.
>The bath is already full, steam rising invitingly from the surface.
>The servants have already laid out towels, soap, and a number of other bottles full of substances you can't readily identify.
>You disrobe and slip in to the water reclining back against one of the ledges once you're chest deep.
>Luxury wasn't abundant when you served the Imperium, a part of you could almost understand those who forswore their oaths for self aggrandizement.
>What you couldn't understand was those that turned from the Imperium to wallow in squalor and their own filth.
>You may have been forced to deal with a lot after being flung through time and space but you at least made the effort to not stay caked in dirt and gore.
>Still it's been too long since you have the chance to relax like this.
>It's not as if you have anything pressing to do today, perhaps you'll spend an hour or so in here.
>You lay back propping yourself up with your arms as you close your eyes and let your mind wander.
>You spend some time entertaining different scenarios to run the guard through to test their capabilities.
>A loud metallic clatter from the hallway interrupts your thoughts.
>The thick door is muffling the sound but you can clearly hear raised voices now.
>Your desire to laze around is overcome by your curiosity about the source the the disturbance.
>Rising from the water your wrap a towel around your waist for modesty sake.
>Not that anything you've seen about these creatures makes you think they would be offended by your nudity.
>It's more the principal of the matter than anything.

>>30610193
>You open the door to the hallway, the bare stone and air cool by comparison to the all encompassing warmth of the bath.
>"And just how exactly did a pony as clumsy as you get a job in the castle, huh?"
>The voice is Brass Bell, who you seem to have caught mid tirade. The two companions you recognize from before are with him.
>Though they must actually be on guard duty today, as they are dressed more suitably for the task.
>Each of them is wearing a sleeveless padded jerkin beneath a chain vest.
>Each also has a belt with a bar mace dangling from a strap within easy reach.
>A crude but effective weapon, the lethality being largely dependent on the wielders strength.
>The front of Brass Bell's Jerkin is currently stained a deep red and dripping.
>A silver tray lies on the floor amid a heap of broken glass and a slowly spreading pool of liquid the same color as the stain.
>Cowering near the tray is one of the serving mares, currently on the verge of tears if you're reading her expression correctly.
"What seems to be the problem?"
>You ask as if you haven't already read the situation.
>"This klutz of a pony spilled wine all down my vest, that's the problem!"
>So they do have wine, good to know.
>"I'm so sorry sir I.." The frightened mare is cut off by further shouting.
>"You're gonna be sorry, one word to my boss and you're gonna be out of a job!"
"She has already tried to offer apology, what more do you want?"
>Brass Bell rounds on you now, his face red and the veins around his eyes bulging.
>"Who said this had anything to do with you huh? Why don't you just go pal around with your little guard friends and mind your own business?"
>He's obviously angry, and angry people do stupid things.
>What's worse it he's likely still nursing his wounded pride from the last time he picked a fight with you.
>You already expect you know how this is going to play out.
>Still you owe it to the Princesses to try to defuse the situation.