RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

Deja vu

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>30287612
>eating her out so vigorously she gets PTSD
kek
perfect

>>30287592
Oh hey, its the Loli thread sneaking in again.

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>>30287618

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>>30287635
>Rainbow has been very sneaky about her estrus ever since that incident.
>Who would have thought that after getting a coldfriend she would have to end up using icicles for "that" again.

>>30287675
Aww, but that's bad. Am I going to have to chase her down and force her to cum?

>>30287655
If the first thing you think about when you see those cute fillies is sex, then that's your problem.

>>30287707
Yes. And she will be scared and aroused at the same time.

>>30287709
I was being factitious to see if the guy trying to split the thread last time the pic was used was the one that made it. If it wasn't or someone felt like trying to get bait then oh well.
>>30287727
>tfw you are never going to be the yandere husbando that makes your waifu cum her brains out.

>>30287675
>"Oh Raaaaiiinbooooow~"
>Buck.
>BUCK.
>You gallop off with your gross, slimy cooler in your mouth, hoping to reach the bathroom and lock yourself inside of it before your coltfriend reaches you.
>Unlimited sex during estrus.
>What a deal, you thought.
>After the 15th or 16th orgasm, you passed out and woke up to the sensation of another climax ripping through your body, Anon still buried deep inside of you.
>The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak!
>You slam the bathroom door closed and lock the door, listening carefully for Anon's footsteps.
>...they're fading away.
>You lower yourself down onto the cooler and nearly moan out loud as the numbing magic kicks in.
"Celestia," you whimper, "I can just hear my friends now. 'Too much sex, Rainbow? What are you, a dyke?' "
>You roll onto your side and press your hooves to your eyes.
>...
>...m-maybe you'll go find Anon in a few hours once your cooter has a chance to heal up a bit.
>A familiar needy burn grows in the pit of your stomach and you can't help but laugh, feeling punch-drunk from the heat.
>Maybe you're making this out to be worse than it actually is.
"Unlimited sex," you grunt, adjusting the cooler inside of you, "Is worth feeling a little bit sore."

>Twiggles and Rarara are both tea aficionados
>Anon is kratom as fucc, but otherwise doesn't the bomb-ass tea
>Twiggles and Rarara want to know what tea is bombing Anon's ass
>Eating bitter foods is considered marely
>The more bitter, the bigger the bean and the smaller the tits
>something something RGRE

>>30287535
>>"Ain't that right, babe?"
"Yep. In fact..."
>You shamelessly snake a hand between Rainbow's legs and dive knuckle deep into her with you middle and ring finger.
>Your mare squeals in surprise. Around the picnic blanket, the girls go wide eyes and red faced instantly.
>One, two, three times you pump your fingers, making your mare wiggle and whine.
>Then with purposeful slowness, you pull your hand away and back into view, making the sunlight glint off the clear and sticky coating.
>Both Rainbow and the other girls are so red that it's a wonder they haven't passed-
>Thud!
>Nevermind, Fluttershy just hit the ground in a dead faint. She even has blood leaking from her nose like a cheesy neighpon manga.
>You pop both fingers into your mouth with a smirk, then slowly drag them out, savoring the sweet flavor and the slight salty tang of the aftertaste. You even throw in an exaggerated moan of delight.
"Hmm. Blueberry..." you comment with a smile. "My favorite. Am I right?"
>Rainbow gives a jerky nod, not trusting her voice.
"So considerate," you tell the mare in your lap right before you wrap her in a from-behind hug. "This is why I love you, Rainbow."
>Her friends remain stunned.
>Your mare doesn't answer, but you can see her mouth slowly forming a smile. It's quickly becomes so smug that if you had teats, just the sight alone would twist them.

1/1

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>>30287742

>>30287759
but human guys do have teats

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>>30287759
NOF delivers

>>30287742
>Having to use a cooler to numb the soreness coming from too much sex becomes a bragging point for Rainbow Dash
>Rarity tries to mock Rainbow for having to buy one every estrus even though she has a coltfriend
>Accusing her of getting blue-beaned
>Rainbow (backed by Anon) educates Rarity about how she gets so much sex that her body can barely handle it
>Rarity goes home and tries not to cry while she masturbates on Sweetie's bed

>>30287787
You mean:

>while she masturbates in Sweetie's head

>>30287796
>Sweetie wonders why her shampoo and conditioner smells funny

>>30287740
>I was baiting so I could see if my personal boogeyman was here so I could start shitposting
You could jump off a cliff and no-one would miss you.

>>30287740
I still want a story about Yandere Anon

>>30287817
Yandere stallions is probably a really popular series of hentai comics for ponies.

>Weeb-pone will never be disappointed that Anon doesn't smash a window and break into her home to cuddle with her

>>30287817
I 'member one.
https://pastebin.com/Y11X0Fp3
This is an indication that I spend way too much time here.

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>>30287740
>I-I was baiting

Wasn't there something written about Anon being Floor Bored's neighbor just a little while ago?

>>30287759
UNF

>Both Rainbow and the other girls are so red that it's a wonder they haven't passed-
>Thud!
>Nevermind, Fluttershy just hit the ground in a dead faint.
and also daww

>>30287846
>Be anon, biggest troll around
>Rewrite Twilight for pones
>Don't change the name at all just to fuck with Twiggles
>Don't change the genders either because fuck conforming
>Get an army of NEETpone fangirls who dream of vampone stallions stalking them so they don't have to put any effort into the relationship

>Anon is able to solve certain problems in Ponyville
>Can be blunt with his mare friends in ways that another mare wouldn't, because his "has penis" status lets him say shit without the risk of getting clocked in the face
>Tells off Applejack for being weird with getting help from her friends with the farm
>Is able to talk down Rainbow Dash from fucking up the weather factory to keep Tank from hibernating, because Rainbow thinks that Anon is more "in touch" with his emotions since he's a colt and probably knows what he's talking about
>In return, Anon enjoys the sexual tension that comes from having good friends of the opposite gender who are cock-hungry enough that they'd jump at the chance to herd with him

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>>30287787
>The first few days of estrus are a near-rabid fuckfest. More time is spent on sex than anything else.
>Mid-point calms some, as both you and Rainbow need to recover from the first few days. There's still sex, just less frantic and a bit slower placed.
>Estrus tapers off. The urge for sex is wearing off, but Rainbow is still plenty fertile. The last few days are spent slowly making love with a focus on deep-seated bonding more than anything. It's a slow-burning sort of mating that can last an hour in one session. Now with her mind a bit more clear, Rainbow has to heavily debate on if she wants to take a leap and stop taking her contraceptive pills.
>A few years down the line, she simply foregoes the pills from the start.

>>30287759
>Your hoo-man coltfriend will never jam his hoof-spiders up your cooter without warning in front of all your friends
Bad feels filly

>>30287958
Unnnnnf, MOAR!

>>30287958
>Rainbow Dash will never stutter and stumble through a marriage proposal
>She will never blush horrible as she mumbles that you're "the wind beneath my wings"

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>>30287958
Fuck, my heart. I suddenly feel a deep, all encompassing sadness.

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>>30287972
I was going to post a relevant picture, but I think the captcha is trying to tell me something

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>>30280030
>How can someone be this fucking insecure?

>>30287592
Just a reminder, the second prompt bin is here:
https://pastebin.com/cNVqJ2WA

>>30287993
kill them all Anon, kill them all, not just the men, but the women, and the children too, it's the only way to be with her

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>>30288211
Celestia wills it.

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>>30287958
>>30287967
I do I want this with a magical pastel pone so bad lads?

Am I broken?

>>30288308
Probably, cant tell what you asked.

>>30288454
Whoops, that first 'I' should be 'why'. Dammit.

>>30287996
There is literally nothing wrong with a Devil's three-way.

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>The CMC misinterpret Anon's friendliness and praise after they inadvertently save him as wanting to herd with them.
>Anon isn't entirely sure what's going on but does humor them a little thinking it's just a brief game.
>Applejack and Rarity think their little sisters are just fooling around so they brush it off, and jokingly congratulate them.
>The CMC decide to plan a big wedding with the help of all their friends and maybe some former enemies.
>Unbeknownst to all the grown-ups (the few that didn't laugh it off) and the supposed groom.

>30288494
Except everything about it, get some girly boi dick elsewhere.

>>30288509
If it's RGRE-related, it can be discussed and posted here. Go back to your RGM general if you have a problem with it. Or do you plan to hang out here for the sole purpose of trolling and shitpostng everyone who has no problem with that kind of thing?

>>30288549
Newfag detected. This is a thread for getting mares laid. Your barking up the wrong tree if that's what your actually looking for. Regardless of if that RGM guy is around.

>>30288596
Newfag detected. This is a thread for mares going their own way.

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>>30288639
Newfag detected. This is a thread for lonely mares finally getting the love and affection they're starved for.

>>30288596
Reversed Gender Roles =/= Mares only and no stallions whatsoever allowed, you retard.

If someone can pull off a RGRE-related story or discussion where Anon has a devil's threesome or relationship, then he shouldn't be stopped from posting here just because you have a huge problem with stallions.
He is still loving a mare, he's just doing it together with someone else, so double the pleasure for the mare.

>>30288639
>Implying Anon wont be the one to restore a mares faith in males
ftfy. Or alternatively.
>Anon goes his own way, meets up with sweaty hard working mares while out an about.
>>30288652
Cant change what you said you came for, go look for some dick elsewhere.

>>30288649
Newfag detected. This is a thread for teenage fillies discovering that real life is not like animes and stallions won't be tsundere for them.

>>30288652
I'm about 80% sure I read an RGRE thing where Anon got into a herd with Shining and Cadence. I think LAP wrote it or something.

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>>30288666
Newfag detected. This is a thread from desperate lonely mares summoning incubi from foreign realms to state their needs.

How l-lewd can Anon get before a mare just up and jumps him?

>>30288672
Nah, LaP wrote a story with them, but Anon didn't join. Shinning just wanted to make friends when he finds out his wife had a better kid with another male.
>>30288685
God damnit Twilight. Don't you remember the last time Celestia told you to stop doing that?
>>30288690
Nothing. But. Socks.

>>30288672
That's because when it's LaP it's exempt from criticism and shitposting. He could write about two colts discovering their youth love for eachother and it would get a pass.

>>30288685
Newfag detected. This is a thread for mares calling their friends liars when they say they've got a colt coming over to play horse-DnD with them, and then relentlessly hitting on him and trying to impress him with their high level character.

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>>30288697
>Don't you remember the last time Celestia told you to stop doing that?
N-no?

>>30288697
https://pastebin.com/S3PVRpEW
not rgre but still a 3some

>>30288701
No it wouldn't. He's got plenty of criticism before, he just stops doing it until its too late to get pissed about it. Like posting shit on FiM only.
>>30288716
She said, and I quote, "IF YOU MAKE ANOTHER ORGYPOCALYPSE, I WILL SHUNT YOUR ASS TO THE MOON!, You don't get to make a demon harem, not even for science, not even on a dare, not even to impress your mother. Don't do it again."

>>30287959
Lyra, what the fuck are you doing here? Get back in the kitchen and wrap the fucking candy I made.

>>30288639
This. It's all about what the mare wants. And maybe she wants to have two handsome stallions by her side?

>>30288663
>Implying someone only wants a dick and nothing else because they have no problem with a Devil's three-way
>Trying this hard to start crap again
You are that anti-homo guy from RGM, that much is certain.
Fuck off to your own general. You are not a good guy or a hero; you are literally doing nothing but trolling and starting shit with others right now just because there is no "mares only" rule here.

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>>30288736
I'm sure she didn't mean it literally, r-right?

>>30288720
Its shit, which is why its not done.
>>30288749
I have no idea who this RGM guy is, but if you need to make up a boogeyman to defend your shit taste, then that's your problem.

>>30288767
You almost drowned the town in sex fluids, I say she was seriously pissed. And that was just with me and the cloning pool.

>>30288720
>"3some"
>Shiny doesnt join in.
Anon that's a cuckold story unless there's a sequel.

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>>30288796
But if mean, if somepony was to ACCIDENTALLY open another portal to Tartarus, and just so happen to summon a couple of muscular incubi in the middle of estrus season, I'm sure she would understand, right?

test

>>30288825
Don't bother, it just wants the shit fetish its shilling, don't treat it seriously and it should leave.
>>30288836
No. Just because I am legally required to take care of the town during estrus, because of your "experiment" by the way, doesn't mean you get to call up my co workers.
>>30288856
So close m8

>>30288856
YA BLEW IT

>>30288308
We're all broken in some way Anon. Be more specific in your question.

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>>30289208
Alright then.

Why do I want to make love to and impregnate a magical pastel poner?

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>>30289258
See pic related from a thread with a similar question asked

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>Find out you have Neighponese doujins made about you
>You're completely OoC
>Drawn with horse peepee
>Often getting raped by fat faceless old mares or neighponese high schooler

>>30289547
Meh. I'd still fap to it.

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>>30289547
Would have autistic fit over incorrect anatomy, then fap. Following that, it is time to find the artist and give them some references on how to draw anatomy correctly.

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Reposting for keks


>Be Anon
>Hanging in the park with Bon Bon
>Because Lyra is away on concert in Canterlot
>Octavia and Vinyl are also here, sitting on a bench on the other side while facing each other
>They start to kiss
>Bon Bon's face turns sour
>"Why do these dykes always have to flaunt it all the time?"
>Wait
>Dykes?
"Umm what about you and Lyra, I am pretty sure I saw you kissing here before"
>"So ? Its not like we're gonna Put a confusing image in filly's mind like these dykes"
>You were never big on the "MUH LGBTQXYZ RIGHTS" but the pure hypocrisy is starting to get to you
"Are you serious ? you just MARRIED Lyra last year!"
>she tilts her head
>"What does it have to do with this?"
>WHAT
"You married a mare, you're a Dyke Bon bon!"
>"What? do you think that just because Lyra is a gelding, he counts as mare ? what a strange world you come from Anon"
>Lyra is a guy
>Your mind freezes
>How many geldings have you hit on thinking they were mares?

>>30289711
>Following that, it is time to find the artist and give them some references on how to draw anatomy correctly.
But wait, what references?
Aren't you the only human in Equestri— oh.

>>30289547
send angry letters to the doujin creators.
>"I was CLEARLY tied to the table, do you how FUCKING flexible i would have to be to suck her clit?!?! and that's not even TOUCHING on the shitting MESS of a vagina on page 42."

>>30289830
>In order to enforce strict gender roles, only the eldest son in each family is permitted to breed
>All others are gelded to help regulate the breeding population
>These geldings are soft-spoken and submissive, extremely feminine-looking yet exemplifying the most treasured male traits
>They're like traps, but no one argues over whether or not they're dykes

>Anon happens to mention being the youngest of three brothers
>Twilight is conflicted about whether to obey the law requiring younger sons to be gelded, or the law forbidding the sterilization of endangered species

And the cycle continues, of, gay, then cuck, and NOW, the gelding fuckers are back. School break sucks.

>>30289830
>>30289918
and it is still shit

amazing how nothings changed

>>30289943
Think they bribed a mod or something?

>>30289946
i think they just see a nice thread and their autism forces them to attempt to shit it up

>>30289918
>Twilight simply makes Anon the patriarch of the Equestrian Anon family.

>>30289930
Clearly the next step is to combine the three somehow.

>>30290046
Or we could chemo all the cancer and axe all three. I like that idea more.

>>30290046
Or you shitposters could go back to trash where you belong.

>>30289918
>You sip your coffee, then place it on the table - ignoring the overly-excited look of the intern writer in front of you
>"S-so it's also touching on the trap fetish, but not the gay kinda shi-"
"So."
>The little horse shuts up
"Males are supposedly rare in RGRE in order to explain the world; so you decide to remove more from the breeding pool because....?"
>"W-well, actually, gelding the stallions forces the gender roles to be-"
"So ignoring the actual body horror of being gelded, this is completely OOC for almost every pony - not to mention, difficult to impossible to enforce."
>"Well-"
"Let's also point out that there are naturally still more mares than stallions; you're not only forcing a genetic dead end of these colts you're also forcing a similar genetic dead end for their herd."
>"But-"
"So not only would the breeding herds be the only ones to survive, you actually start a cascading population crisis - if out of every herd I can only have 1 breeding stallion, then that number will never increase - because any other stallions that would form new herds would be gelded."
>"Ok, but the fetis-"
>You take another unimpressed sip from your coffee mug
"If a breeding stallion gets killed or is impotent, you've already gelded his siblings, which means just through random attrition you're starting to cut down on the producers of your next generation-"
>"B-but it's a good prom-"
"And that's completely ignoring the things I touched upon before - that Celestia, Luna, or any of the common ponies would allow this is wonky as hell."
>"OOC is fine-"
"If it doesn't break immersion and serves an actual purpose other than fetish fuel."
>You place the 'script', if you'd call it that, on the table with a frown.
"I'm drunk and It's shit. It's a shit idea at face value, it's a shit idea when you break it down. I think that's all there is to it."
>".... you didn't have to be so mea-"
"Get out."
>And BNW never wrote about that fetish ever again, ever.
THE END

>>30290046
A shota batpony gelding marries Anon after he legalizes gay herds but then Anon cheats on him with a femdom mistress.

>>30288709
STOP THE MADNESS

>>30290093
A mothpony femdom mistress.

>>30290103
All the while Anon is a fat plane-pony filly wearing a diaper.

>>30290079
Thanks, BNW.

>>30290079
You are the best, I will name my child after you.

why do people always try their best to ruin a thread that got off to a good start

>gelding
Literally the antithesis of rgre. If you wanted to be in-world, it would be oophorectomies.

>>30290168
Its about the same time the bans they got last time finished, hopefully this time it gets permanent. The new ones are probably some kids during their school break.

>>30290168
More or less, we can't have nice things.
Someone mentions how swell things are this time around, and someone has to prove them wrong.
I feel like the effective way to combat is is like what BNW just did. Write a short thing making fun of the shitposting to try and calm it.
If only someone did that for the Ketchup debacle.

>>30290079
>naturally still more mares than stallions
Is this required for RGRE? Because it's a fucking stupid concept.

>>30290210
So is literally whatever the fuck happened further up the thread.

>At first a bragging point, Rainbow become desperate when Anon begins to wear her out through too much sex.
>Starts to affect her Wonderbolt training, so she begs her friends for help.
>At first, it's AJ to join as a third.
>But then Applejack is too sore to buck trees (kek).
>Pinkie agrees next, thinking her boundless energy will wear Anon out.
>She ends up too tired to party.
>Rarity is next, thinking all he needs is a "lady's touch" to make him "slow down" and "enjoy the journey, not the end result".
>She ends up too tired to bother with her makeup (gasp!).
>Fluttershy just "eeps!" and passes out when he strokes her mane.
>Twilight, then Glimmer falls the same way.
>Eventually, they beg for help from the Princesses.
>Cadence responds, being the good sister and Princess of Love she is.
>Just as planned...

>>30290190
To be fair, it was only one offended autist with the ketchup, and he was really persistent until it stopped being funny to laugh at him.
>>30290210
We like it, and we are still here because of it, piss off and do it better if you don't like it.
>>30290220
this.
>>30290224
As long as there isn't a Shining I see nothing wrong with this.

>>30290224
It's really bad, fuck off.

>>30290224
Remove Candyass completely then your good.

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>>30290079
kek

>>30290210
No, but why? Gender rarity value is a pretty easy and sensible way to reverse gender roles no matter the species. If you're thinking das impossiburu! there have been many autists on other boards who have TL;DR found ways it would or could be possible (for settings with humans fyi). Really it should be the least objectionable thing in a high fantasy cartoon setting like Equestria.

What if Gorf Nucky in RGRE?

>>30290338
You are missing the reason for that comment friendo, let me explain. We are currently dealing with our seasonal shitposting spree, the "person" you are talking too doesn't really care. He just wants an excuse to try and get some gay/cuck/and or gelding story. And by removing a staple of the thread(or bitching about it) he thinks that would happen. Its not worth pointing something out to them, Just focus on some sweaty mare teats as they swing over your head at the construction yard.

>>30290349
> What if (non)fictional character in Equestria?
One of the worst prompt formats ever.

>>30290379
This is true.

>>30290379
>Just focus on some sweaty mare teats as they swing over your head at the construction yard.
thats kinda hot

>>30290079
I love you, thank you.

>>30290407
>Anon doesn't throw a fit about getting a job he's good at, that is part of it too, but its because he also gets to get an eyeful of some sweaty tities and marepuss while working.
>His co workers may or may not notice this when he boops their nose with his dick.

>>30290424
>tfw you wont start dating some of your coworkers in the yard
>tfw you wont start turning each other on in the middle of work
>tfw you will never finish a job faster and better so you can christen it with some off hours sex marathon
>tfw you will never get in a herd with your entire construction crew
>tfw your team will never take on the biggest project yet: making your family estate.
I made this in the middle of an erection, and it died in favor of feels. Sorry bout that.

>>30290281
You're really bad, fuck off.

>>30290224
>>30290296
Maybe if Princess Syrup Mane was the one spiking Anon with pony Viagra.

...Actually, Cadence as a benevolent Gendu or Xanatos like character is pretty fucking terrifying.

>>30290490
Are you retarded or something?

>>30290281
>>30290490
>>30290513
Batpony drenched in ketchup.

>>30290513
Are YOU retarded or something?

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>>30290382

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>>30290519

Hey. Remember that Narcolepsy prompt? Helianon brought it to my attention, and I really liked it.

So here's a one(possibly two)shit about it:

"Hey Anon! Care to finally try some of mah applesauce~?"
>The goofy colt smiles at you, reaching down to tip your hat. "Well hello to you too, Applejack - and no, you silly pony. You've got to up your sexual innuendo game if you wanna get any of this~"
>The two of you smile at each other from across your booth, a stack of your finest and freshest apples the only thing separating you
>a stray thought of taking this colt on your pile of apples wanders into your mind, and you quickly file it away for later
>"So. What's good today?" He says, shifting his shopping basket from one forearm to the other
"Well, we've just started harvesting the Honeycrisp down at the south field..."
>Wooing a colt is a long game; You lay the foundation with little gestures and acts of kindness, then build upon it, and then before he knows it he's married and in the kitchen and you're teaching a mess of little fillies how to properly run a farm!
>Just like how your folks got together, an' how Granny got her herd goin', an-
>Anon blinks a few times and inhales deeply, swaying a bit from side to side
>Buck
>Scrambling from behind your cart, your movement catches the eyes of a few other mares - Carrot Top quickly dives over her stand and races towards your future husbando
>As one the two of you line up shoulder-to-shoulder as the weight of the alien colt comes crashing down
>"Unh! Damn, Applejack, maybe send him over to my booth?" She grins, slowly lowering him to the ground. "He keeps eating your apples, he's gonna keep gaining weight."
>You smirk at her as you round your cart for the emergency stash
>This mare... she's alright. Maybe she can be in the herd.
>Maybe.
>After a few minutes you and a few of the other girls have cocooned Anon in a few blankets, a boquet of pillows cradling his head

>>30290585
>All under a sun-umbrella, of course
>His basket is behind your booth, with a few apples slipped in
>I mean, he did his sleepin' spell at your booth, so it's only right you help him out
>It's the right thing to do - and what everymare agreed to, after all.
* * *
"Nnn."
>"Well, Hello there handsome~"
"Ugh. Fuck, again? I thought I could go without my coffee this morning-"
>"Ahnon, now you know Twilight said you gotta keep up with yer stimulants or else these sleepin' spells a-"
>You stretch in what appears to be a blanket prison, your memory coming back quickly
>Apples
"T-thank you, Applejack. I'm really sorry to be such a burden on you and everyone else like this."
>You prop yourself up on your elbows, somewhat enjoying the perspective difference of actually being near these tiny horses' height
>"Aww, it's alright. We all got our stuff to work through, an' it's no-"
>"You're cute when you sleep, babe!"
>"Now Daisy that ain't no way to talk to a colt! 'Specially one who's so vulnerable!"
>Rolling your eyes, you make your way to your feet
>Whoo
>You remember the days before this condition, back on Earth
>You were a normal shiposter back then
>But once you were ripped through that portal
>and totally not because of that gallon of off-brand draino you had while drunk
>You've had... well, they call it a sleeping sickness, but
>You assume it's Narcolepsy? You like to consider it real-life shitposting, honestly.
>You're not a doctor, so fuck. No cure or real diagnosis for you!
>Regardless, these little horses - being smol and pure and surprisingly soft and warm - have of course accomodated you
>Ponka has emergency nap caches stashed... across the entire planet, as far as you know
>No, seriously. You passed out on a hiking trip with a group of your friends and there was a Panko Brand Human Huggler holding you when you woke up
>Pinkie wasn't anywhere near you

>>30290585
>Hey. Remember that Narcolepsy prompt? Helianon brought it to my attention, and I really liked it.
IM READY

READY FOR SOME TOP CUTE

>>30290592
>Or with your group
>...or in Equestria, as far as you knew.
>"You doin' ok? You have one of those... far off looks in yer eyes, Sugarcube."
"Y-yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. So the Honeycrisp?"
>Applejack smiles up at you, scooting your basket back towards you. "Already taken care of, Hon."
>You smile
"Hon? Oh my, so familiar~"
>You kinda... I mean, at first, you resisted the culture around here
>But it's somewhat grown on you. Besides, a giggle and a wiggle and you get free shit all the time
>And free > paid anyday
===***===

>>30290602
***===***
>Be the ruler of The Crystal Empire
>That's right
>CHRYSALIS
"Muahaha! You thought a simple barrier could kill the QUEEN?!"
>Your laughter echos amongst the dark clouds, the wind swirling your decayed mane in the breeze
>Your nemesis, Princess Cadance, grits her teeth - lowering her horn in challenge
>Corrupting the crystal heart has given you enough power to turn her shining city into rubble
>The very ruined parapet she stands on is almost all that remains of her home
>And she thinks she can still defy you?
>The New Queen?
>The New GODDESS?!
>What a foolish, foolish choice
>"Anon! ANON! Oh Buc- CADY! HE'S HAD AN ATTACK!"
>Yes, scream for your mare, st-w. Wait, what?
>No 'ling was to harm the captives!
>Not until after you broke them insexually
>You risk a glance back at your captives - your 'old flame', Shining Armor, and his new exotic friend
>Anon
>The alien, confidant of the princessess, player of slugnoids and...
>"O-oh. Uh, can we - can we take Five?"
>Your ear twitches in Cadences direction, but you don't care
>Your glance has turned into a full-blown gawking stare
"Is... is he sleeping? He's asleep."
>Lightning cracks dramatically in the background, but now... it just seems so inappropriate.
>With a grunt Shining lowers his friend - who seems to have just draped over him - onto the ground. "Here, help me with his head."
>He looks up at you, and then cuts you with his eyes
"Oh! Oh, sorry, uh."
>You move your aura around the alien colts' head, cradling it softly as Shining adjusts the rest of his body
>"There. Cady?"
>"Here, love~! Cache #580 survived!"
>You just stare as Princess Cadence covers Anon in a bright pink blanket - with a balloon cutie mark stamped over it's surface
>....do you know that cutie mark? You think you should know that cutie mark.
>Regardless, Anon's chest rises and falls rythmically
"Um. Is - What?"

>>30290609
>"Oh, he's uh." Shining clears his throat, looking at Anon's sleeping form with a soft smile. "He's got a sleeping sickness. We don't know everything that triggers it, but, it's apparently harmless. Give him a few minutes and he'll be right as rain."
"Do we need to do anything else? Raise his legs or-"
>"No, no. It's not a fainting spell." Cadence chirps, pulling out an equally garish pink set of pillows. "He's really and truly asleep. I envy it, almost - what with Flurry keeping us up at all hours!"
>The two lovebirds share a giggle, and you
>You feel deflated
"So....I mean, I was kindof planning on destroying the castle wall and then stealing Shining and Anon - can we just-"
>"Oh, well, this IS awkward. Um."
>The wind howls ominously
>Another crack of lightning splits the sky, illuminating the scene in a stark white, before relinquishing to the bright red of a city on fire
>You clear your throat
"Hey, so. I'm just... I'll have some of my 'lings just cocoon him up and put him out of the way? We start this again in 5?"
>"I uh. Sure, sounds good-"
>"CADENCE!" Shining huffs, scrunching his cute little snootie-
>Patience, girl
"Does he have any medication?"
>"Not that I know of. And Shining, dear, she's working with us here-"
>"SHE DESTROYED OUR ENTIRE CITY-"
>"Well yes, but she's not a MONSTER-"
>You leave the two idiots to argue amongst themselves as you summon your gentlest medic bugs
>Apparently this special cargo is fragile, too.
===***===

>>30290619
***===***
>It's fine.
>The sun is shining, your avian friends singing their joy to the soft, cottony clouds in the sky
>The air is warm
>And this is fine.
>You stretch slowly, gently, relishing the feel of the grass giving way to your flesh
>The wind has picked up - the clouds start to herd towards the everfree
>Every so often you see one of the weather team dart from behind a large cumulonimbus to signal to the groundscrew, or to team up with another weathermare
>It's a very cozy thing to see. Very comforting to know that ponies care for the things above as well as below
>So it's fine.
>Your pink mane is caught by the wind, gently tickling the face of your friend and hopeful lover, Anonymous
>He really is
>He's just
>Your heart feels so big in your chest as you look at his face
>You want to hold him forever
>You want to just...be, with him, no matter what
>So this is fine.
>One day, you'll propose to him. N-not PROPOSE-propose, but, m-make it official. I-I mean, being an alpha is a big responsiblity, but, y-you know he's worth it
>Oh...but...
>Well, you do wish Rainbow or Applejack would grow some teats and start actually courting him!
>You don't want to be the alpha!
>You fluff out your chest absentmindedly as you're lost in thought
>B-but somepony has to!
>So this is fine!
>You weren't gonna propose j-just now!
>You scrunch your muzzle up slightly as Anon sighs into your chest, his knees crushing the lunch he brought
>You didn't expect a spell to hit him - he's usually good in the afternoons!

>>30290585
Oh thank god.

>>30290382
>he doesn't gorc knockle

>>30290624
>A-and he's really heavy to lift by yourself, e-especially since he knocked you onto your back
>and... and his head is buried in your chest fluff...
>Your face burns hot as you feel him breathe in your scent
>Your side aches as the box with the promise bracelet in it digs into you
>Your own wings were heavy, uncomfortably covered in syrupy condiments and thick side dishes
>Your left hind leg had fallen asleep
>But you wouldn't dare move a muscle
>Because being with him makes everything fine.
>
>....you watch another mare dart through a cloud, and idly wonder if he'll say yes.
= = = = =
There you go lads. I'll probably do more of these two-post vignettes if there's any sort of demand for them.

And for the anons waiting: Yes I'm working on DD2 and Gripes of Wrath. I've not forgotten y'all. Sometimes you just gotta cleanse your pallet, yanno?

>>30290637
>pallet
*palate

>>30290637
Saved by the bnw. Thanks famalam.

>>30290637
Hnnngh! My heart!

>Be, Luna, Princess of the Night and of all things dark and terrifying.
>Like doughnuts with no sugar.
>You sense a familiar presence wander on by your dream office.
>Even asleep, the dreaded scourge of paperwork remains.
"Back again, Anonymous?"
>He chuckles sheepishly and rubs the back of his head.
>Those hands.
>...If you were a lesser mare!
>"Sorry, Luna. Looks like I had another spell when having tea with Celestia."
>...You won't deny feeling a little bit of vindictiveness on hearing that.
>Just a tiny bit.
"'Tis fine. So, tell me: how are things in Ponyville?"
>You are no stallion, but you did still enjoy gossip like one!

>>30287635
>>30287675
>>30287742
'NAM flashes before passing out
>Dash can hear sounds of chopper rotors, humans shouting and bursts of gunfire before passing out.
IT AIN'T ME, IT AIN'T MEEE I AIN'T NO SENATOR'S FOAL, NO!

>>30290210
It's not required, you could have a 1:1 (50/50) gender ratio, and still be RGRE (though the herd aspect likely gets mostly lost if you do so).

But having a gender imbalance does provide a good setup for *why* an RGRE setting is the way it is.

But it isn't the only way to do it, just the most common and popular around here.

I tend to use less extreme imbalances than others in my greens and prompts (somewhere around 3:1 or 2:1), whereas some here like to have 8:1 Mares to Stallions or even more. I generally don't like it that lopsided because it feels depressing to have that many lonely mares around.

>>30290637
noice

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>>30290637
I thought the last bit was Pinkie, and that she was somehow disguised as the emergency pillows. The wings part messed with my head.

>Cadence wants to know how it's like to have two guys banging her
>She asks Shinying Armor to see if he can convince you to join him for a night of fun
>Being the good husband that he is, he does what his wife wants and is determined not to come back without you

>>30291433
Anon and shine just end up playing pool and getting free drinks at a bar instead.

>>30291433
I want someone to write this premise except it's not played straight at all and goes completely off the rails. Ideally it would be successful and you couldn't cuck or MMF Shining post without people just talking about the story.

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>>30290850
>IT AIN'T ME, IT AIN'T MEEE I AIN'T NO SENATOR'S FOAL, NO!
You missed your chance, anon.
You could have rhymed "MEEE" with "FILLY".

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>>30290934
I've always been fond of 3 to one.

From an evolutionary standpoint, that leaves room for one pregnant mare at any given time, the leeway of allowing one injured/sick mare at any given time, and still have a remaining member of the more plentiful sex to sit at the front lines of any incoming danger.

Without a skewed ratio though, there's virtually NO alternative precedents for RGRE's particular brand of matriarchal society.

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>>30287777
Where do you go to get those muscles? You have some impressive quads.

>>30287787
>>30287796
>>30287811

Incestuous bisexual filly-molesting rarity when?

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>>30287777
what a waste of quads.

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>>30291540
That fucking white bar at the bottom triggers me more than it should be.

>>30287952
>friends of the opposite gender who are cock-hungry enough that they'd jump at the chance to herd with him

Off topic here, but that sentence made me think:
>Be in herd with M6
>Mares are generally bisexual as a result of the biased gender ratio and over a thousand of years of Celestia's motherly "I love you no matter what, but don't disappoint me please" rule.
>In bed eating out Rainbow (being tied down excites her, due to obvious "opposite-of-her-daily-norm" reasons).
>Twiggles, Appul, Squiggle Tail, and Flutterbutter are out doing things.
>Pinkie dropped by during her lunch hour to sniff her new coltfriend's dirty hamper-underware retrieve her forgotten lunch.
>Ponka hears familiar sound from bedroom.
>Pinks pushes the bedroom door open with her snootle.
>See Pinkie eyeing you and Rainbow with envious bedroom eyes.
>Tell Pinkie in a seductive voice: "I put a skittle deeeeeep inside Rainbow, but I can't seem to get it out, and my weak stallion jaw muscles are getting too tired! I would be oh-so "appreciative" if you would help getting it out!"
>Pinkie dives head first into Rainbow's fillybits like a slobbering vacuum with a tongue.
>RainbowOhFace.skittles
>Proceed to get working on Pinkie while she's busy working on Rainbow.

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>>30288494
It's only gay if:
1) Balls touch
2) Something is inserted into any orifice of any male.
3) M/M eye contact is maintained for longer than 0.75 seconds.

>>30291433
I prefer the one where Cadence and FemShining fell in love, but need a herd because a princess being full homo like a commoner is forbidden. Who do they want? Someone they both can love, and will love them both back. Who do they pick? You.

>>30290210
>Your face when there are more human females on this planet than human males
Boy it's gonna suck for you when you go out into the real world.

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>Reading RGRE Courting Anon 4
>Get to the Luna part

AnalPlugAnon...

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

You conjugated it completely wrong! You can Google this shit in under a minute, so there's really no excuse for this.

>I do
>You do
>Thou dost
>He doth (modern: does)

Now this is what you basically wrote for all her actions.

>Thou doth

Which is basically like writing...

>You does

Also, I'm not sure if you know the difference between thee and thou. It could only be a typo or two, but here's the gist of it just in case.

>You shoot him.
>I shoot you.

Notice the sentence placement of you. This is a good rule of thumb to follow, because English has dumbed down so much that there's no special pronoun to denote when things are happening TO you. Object pronoun.

>Thou shootest him.
>I shoot thee.

Fuck it. Let's teach you thy/thine. This one is easy.

Thy is your, and thine is yours.

>Your shit.
>This shit is yours.

>Thy shit.
>This shit is thine.

One exception and it's also simple. After all, you do this with 'a' and turn it into 'an' if the word starts with a vowel. In the old days we used to do this with my and thy. So instead of my eyes it was mine eyes. Same for thy. Thy eyes becomes thine eyes.

Go back and fix that shit.

>>30291789
Only by a marginally small percentage, worldwide.
It's still basically a 1:1 ratio.

>>30290065
I too hope this board will one day pull a Robbie Rotten and beat it's cancer.

>>30290637
>>30290652
>> Sometimes you just gotta cleanse your pallet, yanno?

I am now picturing Some dude with a pressure nozzle on the end of a garden hose spraying down a wooden shipping pallet.

>>30291877
"Anon? What in the sam hay are you doin'?"
>He looks at you, cocking his head to the side.
>"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm hosing down the pallets."
>You open your mouth, but then pause, closing it after a moment's contemplation.
>A sigh escapes you and you shake your head.
>He's lucky he has a cute butt.

>>30290730
>>30290624
how will poner react to EPILEPSY?

>>30291988
First time he ever had an episode:
"We don't know why the new alien stallion fell down and started thrashing around, but we're fairly certain his thrashing was the reason he bit off his tongue and bled to death. Poor colt, he just got here too."

>>30291797
weapons grade autism.

but it least i learned something.

>>30292019
you dont actually bite your tongue right off unless you had been sticking your tongue at the event of the attack

most like you will be biting on your cheeks or the side of your tongue

>>30291504
>goes completely off the rails
CHAPTER ONE:Shining Armor goes to Ponyville to drag Anon into a threesome.

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN:Shining's planet sized force field begins to crack under Galactus's onslaught, meanwhile Anon-GigaMODE is at a stalemate with Aku. Neither strong enough to over power the other.

CHAPTER FORTY TWO: Cadence starts to wonder why Shinning Armor hasn't returned with Anon yet, Meanwhile Shinning Armor tries to prove Anon's innocence in the court of Asgard. The task made more diffucult by Anon being rendered blind, death, dumb, and mute in a horrific Minecraft griefing accident.

CHAPTER 90: Beach episode, guest staring Richard Belzar as detective Johnathan Munch.

>>30290241
>only one offended autist

sorry you're literally retarded but it was more than just one person, 5 maybe 6 unique ips hit that thread when the ketchup shitposting reactions hit

Add the fact that a few might have already posted earlier in the thread and there was probably more than that

That said the reactions to it still had a point and hell it was even used as a plot point in the story so maybe it was a good thing

>>30291504
There was an old story from a few years ago with Anon being dragged into marriage with Cadance and Shining that really went off the rails completely. I don't think it was RGRE, though: https://pastebin.com/u/TheOriginalAuteur

The oldest story in the list was the original prompt, and then that author continued with "Getting To Know You."

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>>30290637
My fucking heart, holy shit. I need it.

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>>30290210
But then how would anon fuck ALL the waifus?

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>>30292079
Here's some more educational autism.

You might be wondering. Why the fuck did we have two (You)s?

That's because at one point thou was an informal pronoun and you was both a formal pronoun but also a plural one.

So traditionally you would call your kids, close friends, servants, and pets by thou. However, if you were addressing someone you called mister, sir, madam, doctor, professor or anyone else above your station then you would use (You).

There's an unfortunate side effect in our language after losing thou. Constructions like y'all or you guys wouldn't need to exist because it would be redundant, if thou were around anyway. Like I said earlier, (You)'s other purpose was to directly address more than one person.

This means a construction like 'thyselves' is completely fucking wrong and should never exist. This is because thou, unlike (You), is a pronoun designed to directly address one person and one person only. It's one of the few ways that it's not just interchangeable with our modern (You). You can sort of get away with if the one collective thing you're addressing is sort of abstract, but it's still pushing it.

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>>30292254
English is fucking dumb famfalam. The whole jig of addressing someone you respect with the plural form is prevalent in many, many languages, like Russian and German not to search too far. But no, the fucking lazy assholes couldn't be bothered.

>>30291504
>completely off the rails
>In the heat of lust, Cadence wants to watch you and Shiny kiss each other
>Nothing more
>She just wants to dominate you two a little bit and tell you that you are good boys
>Cadence then orders the two of you to lick her hooves

>>30292291
disgust.png

>>30292300
>Not wanting Cadence to dominate you and Shining
What are you, gay?

>>30292336
somehow you keep proving to be more and more of a shit person with even shittier taste

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What would be some of the more overdone cliches in the RGRE hentais, watched by desperate lonely mares?

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>>30292372
>"Ooh, my cock, It's being milked by your marely pussy!"
>"Oh, I really did it, I touched a mare's vagina with my penis! I hope she doesn't get pregnant."

Making intentionally shit hentai quotes is harder than I thought.

>>30292348
If you don't like Cadence, then just fucking ignore those who do like her and Shining instead of throwing crap at everyone. Is that so hard for you?

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>>30292417
>"E-excuse me miss, but I have a very, very hard maths problem that is taking me soo long to solve. Could you help me finish?"
>"What are we going to do on the hay miss?"
>"N-no, don't grab my... a-aah!"
>"Your pussy tastes so good!"
>"Please, let me cum inside your womb and make you a mother!"
>"Hnng, if you d-don't stop riding my dick like that, I'll cum my testicles out!"

This is stupid. But bonus points if it was in a single story.

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>>30291719
Fuck you Anon I just fapped, don't do this to me.

>>30292348
Dude, he's trying to piss you off, he's shitposting.

>>30292200
I don't think more than 2 of those were actually serious...at least I hope not.

>>30292348
Its just some gay shitposters coming in with the fresh off the banwagon trash posters, the mods will take care of it eventually.

>>30290592
Ponko is the best stasher ever. Or would it be hoarder?

>>30291743

>not accounting for handjobs
>not accounting for eventual fluid transfer from using the same holes
>not accounting for eating the others cum off an intermediate surface
>not accounting for non-french kissing with your eyes close
>not accounting for handholding

your list is incomplete good sir, and these where just off the top of my head

>>30290637
Wait, am confused, was it Pinkie he fell asleep on or Fluttershy?

>>30292778
Its bait to encourage some gay/cuck shit with Shining, just wait for the mods and don't respond to it.

>>30292780
Which popular poner is commonly depicted having:
- wings
- pink mane
- shy as fuck
- having animal friends

>>30292855
Fluttershy, but you kept mentioning Pinkie without clarifying who that was so I thought you were talking about some other Pegasus. I think there are like 3 or 4 with Pink manes.

>>30290407
>>30290424
>>30290475
now I have a heart boner

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>>30292150
9/11 would read

>>30292372
> "Oh no, if this filly keeps wiggling in my lap she'll flip my switch~"
> "This pussy is to tight I'm going crazy <3"
> "Shhh, colt, you wouldn't want your marefriend to hear us, would you?"
> "A mysterious package got delivered to me, with Starswirl's enchancted pocket watch inside. Finally, I can molest all the popular stallions when time stops!"
> "I just started my job as a teacher, and the Principal's son is in my class. I hope I don't get in trouble."
> "With this spell I can hypnotise any stallion to do what I want!"

>>30292994
>"With this spell I can hypnotise any stallion to do what I want!"
Get back to your friendship lessons, Starlight.

>>30292743
>Im-fucking-plying
>"Durr, everyone who likes things -I- don't like are gay shitposters and trolls"
>"Please ban everyone who don't mind everything I personally have a problem with, even if they keep it relevant to the general."
You really are a fucking class A troll.
I just wanted something with Cadence and Shining Armor - a sexy mare and one bro friend.

>>30293026
Sorry f a m, every green has to be about anon

>>30293067
Yes, Anon, Cadence and Shining. Or Anon and Twilight's parents, haven't seen much with them. Velvet is a real MILF.

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>>30293082
>Velvet is a real MILF
>MILF
You what?

>>30293022
>Shit taste Anon in Equestria
>Likes Hypno shit
>Waifus Starlight and convinces her to use some spells on him
>Other ponies accidentally discover that Starlight's been using her spells on Anon
>Ponies think that the entire relationship is a lie based on mind control
>They think that Starlight is a rapist
>Anon now has to try and stop an angry mob from savagely beating his marefriend to death in the middle of the street
>Meanwhile everyone thinks he's some poor mindbroken maiden trying to defend his rapist
>All because he has shit taste in fetishes
Pro tip everyone: Shit fetishes don't just hurt you, but also your waifu.

>>30293082
>Velvet is a real MILF.
GILF*

>>30293088
>Anon was adopted by the Twilight family at a really young age

>>30293096
>>30293096
> Two years after her execution.
> Two years after anon is certifiably not mind-broke
> He still says he has shit-tastes in fetishes and wanted the hypno.

>>30293082
Lifted from the archive
>Night Light and Twilight Velvet's relationship has always been a bit strained with it growing worse over the years.
>However, they stated together and keep their drama hidden for Twilight and Shining. Even then, it was still bad enough that both of the children noticed.
>Now that both their kids are adults and have been away from home for years, Night and Velvet let their relationship openly fester with all attempts to reconcile failing.
>Velvet finally has a nasty falling out with Night Light.
>So severe, that she's kicked out of the house.
>Essentially homeless, she has to swallow her pride and ask to live with her daughter and her family (Spike, Anon, possibly foals).
>Twilight gladly lets her stay.
>Then another problem surfaces.
>Velvet, a lonely older mare, has to be around a loving and functioning family. She can't help but feel like an out-of-place burden.
>It helps none that Night Light was rarely willing to touch her in the bedroom in the past few years, and now she gets to listen to Twilight having sex with a loving husband on a near nightly basis.
>Velvet even finds herself jealous of her own daughter, much to her absolute disgust and mortification.
>Little does the older mare know, she isn't hiding her problems or raw feelings well from her daughter and son-in-law.
>Twilight desperately wants to help her mother. Seeing the pillar of strength for the Sparkle family so frustrated and lonely is killing Twilight on the inside.
>But how does she fix this?
>She glances over to her husband, Anonymous.
>...
>...It's just crazy enough to work...

>>30293247
this issue was already resolved with the

LOVE SQUAD

>>30293255
...That brings to mind a thought.

>Cadence and Pinkie? Fluttershy? Rarity? Gleaming Shield? form the Love Squad, designed to bring love to lonely mares and stallions.
>After a few successful cases, their next target is Anon.
>Unfortunately, Anon has no interest in being a horse-fucker, and their various CMC-style antics fail.
>Anon suspects something's up, but doesn't notice anything overt.
>The Squad grow increasingly frustrated with this whimsical stallion.
>And also find themselves growing more fixated on him...

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>>30293331
>Cadence
The Princess of Love, so she would fit the bill of pity fucking to the rescue
>Pinkie
She just wants to see them smile
>Fluttershy
What.jpg
>Rarity
I get that she is an element of generosity, but that's a stretch
>Gleaming Shield
Forced to do this by some backward ass law about guard captains from 1000 years ago, and the threats of no snu snu from her wife (omg gay)

>>30291797
Grammar anon, wanna cuddle with me? We can conjugate Latin verbs together~

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>Not doing hurtful things to your husbando chart

>>30293247
>Velvet stares down at the little plastic stick in her magic, her jaw slowly dropping.
>Looking back at her is a positive pregnancy test.
>Her, a mare of nearly 50, impregnated by her daughter's extra-dimensional lover.
>Well, said alien is Velvet's lover too. Now at least.
>"What a mess," the mare murmurs with a shake of her head.
>For a moment, the older mare thinks about taking a sinister route and terminating the unborn foal, but her instincts roar in protest nary a second later.
>Velvet sighs and thinks. There's one thing she can do...
>She sets the pregnancy test down and thinks back to her account. Luckily, Night Light hadn't pursued her finances, leaving her not insignificant funds intact.
>Velvet smirks. A non-noble dosn't put a pair of genius foals through the best schools around without some know-how with money.
>But the plan she hatching could drain everything she has.
>Does she even have a choice though? Would she regret this?
>...
>Velvet snorts. "A potion that turns back time just once, millions of bits. What a rip. I'll have my liver from my twenties back and I won't even get to drink for a year anyways..."
>The mare laments for her soon to be much more empty account, but sets out to tell her daughter and shared love about her incoming new lease on life.
>"My grand daughter is going to have an aunt or uncle younger than her..."
>For a reason she would never be able to place, the thought made her laugh.

>>30293430
There is a horsebando template with male pronouns and stuff.

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>>30293959
I'm aware of it. I merely posted an image I saved prior.

>>30293358
>Fluttershy
It's always the quiet ones, Anon.

But in Flutterbutter's case, it'd be more romance than sexual.

>Rarity
She's a hopeless romantic at heart.

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>>30294042
Then in that case

>Cadance
Purely for sexual
>Pinkie
There to make you laugh, whatever it takes
>Fluttershy and Rarity
The romance squad, first being the honest, natural approach, while the latter engaging in the refined waltz of courting
>Gleaming Shield
Still doesn't want to be there, fucking random laws. But probably the one to protect you and make you feel safe with her.

>>30294098
>Purely for sexual

How would she go about this?

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>>30294207
Bluntly and to the point.

>>30293543
>"Mooooooooom! There's no way you got pregnant! Don't even say that to me!"
>"Aren't I the one that should be tell you that? And you snooze, you lose, kiddo."
>"Mom!"
>You shake your head at the frantic Twilight and cheeky Velvet.

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>>30294277
Shining is one lucky guy.

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>>30292585

>>30292778
Damn it, you're right!
(Also, you missed trips by a hair! A shame.)

Then I revise my list to:
"Gay if: Physical contact of any kind with anything pertaining to another male.
No clothes, no skin, no fluids, NOTHING."

>>30292247
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4feUSTS21-8

>>30292994
>> "A mysterious package got delivered to me, with Starswirl's enchancted pocket watch inside. Finally, I can molest all the popular stallions when time stops!"

How exactly would she get the majority of them to have an erection though?
I mean, sure, if she starts going through pony's homes to find ones that are already fucking so she's got something to work with, but if she stops time while he's soft, she's not going to be able to do much (if anything) with it.

>>30293088
>>30293110
Not the guy in the first post, but MILF doesn't mean "YOUR mother" it means "she's A mother".

Velvet is a mother (to Twiggles and Butthurt-Betacuck-Bait-Fantasy-Faggot), who many an Anon would like to fuck.
Ergo, she IS a MILF.

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>>30294660
The obvious answer is that she has to stop time twice. Once to erotically mudamudamudamuda (stroke) his sheath to get him hard, as all the sensations hit him when time resumes, then to stop it again for fug.

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>>30294660
>unironically arguing with hentai logic

>>30294693
With the birth of Flurry, isn't she now a GILF like >>30293104 mentioned?

>>30293104
Both apply.
She didn't suddenly stop being a mother the moment Flurry was born.

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>>30294693
Well yeah, but the GILF is a much more ilusive title. She witnessed the birth of a second generation of her offspring, and yet is still smoking hot

>>30294717
That's dumb. You're dumb.

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>>30294707
Try:
"Wants to see this, but can't figure out a way that it would actually work beyond some BS that would totally kill my boner."

In RGRE, porn is a "family" business, usually shot within a willig stallions herd. Almost every porno you get from that producer will have the same colt and small selection of mares. There are occasionally one-offs with different colts when one wants to experiment, though these often become collectors items and are hard to acquire.

>>30294098
>>30294693
>I'm so autistically homophobic that I won't even acknowledge the existence of canon stallions
>Instead I'm gonna turn them all into R63 versions of themselves
Seriously?

>>30294403
>"Wait wait wait! Explain that again."
>Flurry looks between her parents with skeptical eyes. "So grandma is also my aunt? And cousin Dawn, who is grandma's third baby and part human, is my aunt too? But she's also aunt Twily's step daughter AND sister?" She asks, sounding horribly confused. "How does that work?"
>Shining Armor just shrugs helplessly to his daughter. "There's a lot of technicalities, sweetie. We're not really a normal family..."
>Flurry's face goes flat. "Dad, we're the royal family of a fringe empire made of crystal. I could have told you that without adding on extended family."
>Cadence stifles a laugh.

>>30294878
>I am so assmad that no one wants may gay/cuck idea
>I still plan to shitpost my dumb opinions in a thread for fucking mares under their work desk
Seriously? That's all you have to say? What the hell did you expect when you came in here, praise? This isn't HHH or Marital Problems. Stay mad.

>>30294849
>Anon becomes renown porn star.
>Hundreds of lonely mares have participated with him throughout the yeras, he does all sorts of "extremes" that other stallions would NEVER do anal, watersports, belly-to-belly, and even hoofholding!
>Anon stars in and produces the only porno to ever feature a princess. Celestia chastises Luna for her archaic and horrible treatment of stallions, until Anon starts sending Luna flirty letters with flowers and a copy of his latest work.

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>>30293026
says the guy who's been shitposting in a thread for 8 months, because he's still ass blasted over the fact that said thread has rejected what he wanted.
Pick a tripcode already so I can filter you dumb faggot. I'm tired of reading your shit.

>>30294905
Exactly.
Here, we don't like m/m interactions.
That kind of thing don't belong in RGRE.

It's like submitting hardcore m/m orgy videos to pornhub and tagging it "lesbian, vaginal, titplay".

You're intentionally trying to shoehorn your (in the landslide opinion of RGRE patrons, "utter shit") fetish where it absolutely doesn't belong.

>>30294981
Oh, so wanting to make sweet love to a mare while she makes out with her other husband is now shitposting?

>>30295044
When its not in the cuck thread, or your posting it specifically to derail a general, or you post an idea that runs counter to the entire premise of a thread, then yes. You are shitposting. Now get the fuck out.

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>>30294878
>>I'm so autistically homophobic

You're on 4chan.
Pretty sure "autistically homophobic" is the fucking motto here.
If you don't like it, there are plenty of other places for you to go other than the /mlp/ RGRE General, like /y/, reddit, or tumblr.

Pic related.

>>30294889
>A royal family meet-up is practically a circus.
>Flurry, the wingy-ist princess and the first born natural alicorn is the only one to step back and look at how weird everything is.

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>>30294889
>picrelated

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>>30295044
In the RGRE General?
YES.
Multiple males in the same bedroom activities is the definition of "we don't want that here".

This is RGRE, we specifically created a VERY loosely canon-based fantasy world with a +3 to 1 female/male gender ratio to explain away our desire for having a happy "one male, three or more female" family with mares who're all fine with sharing a stallion.

Noticing a trend here?
A pattern?
The overwhelmingly obvious?
Clearly you haven't, so I will spell it out for you:

WE WANT TO BE IN A WORLD WHERE WE GET TONS OF EASY PUSSY AND THERE ARE NO OTHER GUYS INVOLVED IN OUR SEXY TIMES!

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>>30295044
Look, mothafucka. The thread is not going to magically start liking your prompt because you bitched at them long and hard enough. If you want to see this shit so badly you can just, I don't know, write it yourself?

>>30295161
Its a faggot, they are lazy creatures, and this isn't the first time he tried to derail a thread for it either. This exact prompt too.

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>>30295044
Yes. Now fuck off to whatever thread allows your shit, or go make a blogpost on your tumblr about how people on 4chan are being mean to you.

>>30295044
trolled softly

>>30295157
>we specifically created a VERY loosely canon-based fantasy world with a +3 to 1 female/male gender ratio
I know, which is why I thought that something with a mare who secretly desires to be with more than one stallion because she hates being surrounded by mares every day would be nice.

I found two posts in another thread with words of truth in 'em that I find quite fitting to repost here right now.
>>30294002
>If it's in a good story, I'm down for pretty much anything.
>Everyone should quit getting all pissy over literally nothing. One prompt won't destroy the thread. Starting a bitch-fit over one prompt very well could.
>>30294010
>Half the time content rocks the boat in a thread is because some tard can't let go how outraged he is about it and drags the thread down.
Really makes you think, huh?

>>30295115
>Flurry eventually just defaults to drinking on the sidelines with ol uncle Anon, who sneaks her the good stuff.

>>30295267
Except that its just you and two other dudes trying to make your shit taste acceptable in the thread. Now piss off. You said earlier in the thread the sole reason you want to "help the fantasy of a mare" was so Anon and Shining would fuck each other, or some other act, in front of Candyass. Not to do anything to the mare, but to each other. Stop acting like you aren't moving the goalpost to fit your shit in here. You want that shit, go to HHH or the Cuck general.

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Hey, I wrote a thing

>>30295350
Based LaP

>>30295350
>Be Moondancer, professional nerd and newly appointed head of research in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns
>It was a very important day
>Probably one of the most important in your three-month career
>Since before you had been given your appointment, you had been tracking a very serious threat to Equestria
>It was an invasion of sorts
>Not like an invasion of arms like the Changelings had attempted, or an invasion of might, like what Triek had tried to do
>This was far more subtle, and much more dangerous
>It had only been with the greatest of luck that you had even noticed it happening when you did
>And now, after almost two months of official research--five unofficially-- many sleepless nights, and a boatload of taxpayers money spent, you were positive that you had everything you needed to bring this threat to light
>At that very moment, you were standing in one of the school's many massive classrooms, notes and a projector on either side of you
>Sitting right in front of you were some of the most important and powerful ponies in Equestria
>There was Princess Luna, Celestia, Cadence, and Twilight
>There was the arch-duchess and war hero Fleur de Lis, along with a few other hard-bitten marcher ladies
>You could see the head of the Apple clan, Empress Apple, sitting in attendance
>Among this group were also archmages and scientists and all manner of other mares
>Each one had been specifically chosen
>These were strong-willed, powerful, smart, and tough mares
>Some of the best and brightest that your little kingdom had to offer
>They also knew when to keep their traps shut
>Nopony else, other than the ones in this room right now, knew that this meeting was happening
>The information was too sensitive for public knowledge, too dangerous if heard by the wrong mare or stallion

>>30295360
"Before we begin, I'd like to thank each and every one of you for coming today," you began, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose. "I know that you're all very busy mares, so if it’s alright with you, I'd like to begin straight away."
>Your horn glowed
>With a spell, you levitated your projector to the center of the room and pulled down the white projector screen
>You could see the tip of Twilight's horn glowing as she dimmed the lights
>Just like everypony else here, she had absolutely no idea why you had called them all here--you had been purposefully vague-- but she nevertheless gave you a supportive smile
>You took a deep breath
>Alright filly...
>Time to shine...
"As I'm sure you're all aware for the last few months a whole new race has been appearing within our borders."
>With a spell, your projector came to life, flashing your first picture onto the screen
>It was of one of the many humans that had been appearing in Equestria over the last day
>His name was REDACTED, or as you liked to call him S000-01
"Nopony knows why this new race, these humans are appearing in our kingdom, though a few of you are no doubt looking into that," you said, inclining your head to a few of the magi, science ponies, and the princesses. "But I have a feeling that the answer, you will eventually find, will be a far darker one than you were expecting."
>A murmur went up among the crowd
>Dr. Four Eyes, the head of her field in Thermo-Ventricular magics, raised a hoof
>"And what do you mean by that, Ms. Dancer?"
"I mean that we're facing an invasion, ma’am," you said. "An invasion unlike any that we've ever seen before."
>With another spell, you went to the next picture of your presentation
>This one was of a map of Equestria itself, covered in little red dots

>>30295362
"Since the first sighting of the human REDACTED, more than five hundred humans have appeared in Equestria," you said, levitating over a ruler and tapping it against your screen. "At this moment there are twenty in Canterlot, over thirty in Manehattan, a dozen in Las Pegasus, five in Hollow Shades, and ten in Dodge City, with the rest peppered here and there."
>"There are," Princess Luna said with a nod. "My sister and I sent most of them to where they are now residing."
>You looked over at the Princess of the Night
"Are you sure you did your highness, or were you coerced into doing so?"
>Princess Luna cocked her head to the side, her brow furrowing
>"Coerced? Whatever do you mean by that?"
"What I mean your highness, is that I believe that the humans wish to be as spread out as possible so that they can take our little kingdom over before we'd be able to mount any resistance."
>Fleur de Lis let out a snort
>"I can assure you that Equestria would be far harder to take over than that, Ms. Dancer," she said, leaning forward in her chair. "Though I myself cannot see how a few hundred stallions could do such a thing."
"There are just a few hundred, you're absolutely correct, my lady," you said with another bow of your head. "But don't you think it's odd that out of every human we've found, they've only been male?"
>You looked out into the crowd of mares
"Five hundred stallions just drop into our kingdom without warning. I don’t know about anypony else here, but I find that a little suspicious."
>"What what's wrong with that? More cock for us!" somepony in the back yelled
>Good-natured laughter erupted from the crowd
>Even you couldn't help but smile, though it was for another reason
"Exactly, and that's the exact thought process that'll leave us utterly defeated unless we take the proper steps."
>Silence descended upon the room

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>>30295371
>You could see some of the militaristic mares with their ears perked up
>There was more quiet murmurs and the exchanging of looks
>It looked like you really had their attention now
>Good...
>Slowly, Princess Celestia raised a hoof
>"Moondancer, you've presented us with some very serious accusations," she said. "Accusations about a group of stallions no less. Stallions that my sister and I have interviewed personally, and have found completely harmless."
>"Aye, in fact, we are quite close friends with a few of them" Princess Luna added with a nod.
>You heard some murmurs of agreement
>Many of these mares no doubt knew a human or two
>They were in every town, every city, and their statures made them hard to ignore
>Princess Luna, giving you a look, made a motion with her hoof
"But, if you have the proper evidence to support your claims, however wild they may be, I'm sure we'd all be happy to listen."
>You looked around the crowds to see mares nodding
>You could tell that most of them thought you were full of horse apples, but that couldn't be helped
>If they were still willing to listen you'd show them the wolves they had allowed into their pig pens
>...
>That was a saying right...?
>Giving your head a little shake, you changed the picture on your projector
>It was a picture of another human walking amongst a group of ponies
>There was a smile on the human's face, and the ponies around him were laughing
"Time and again we've seen the negative effects of introducing a foreign species to an ecosystem."
>You tapped your ruler against the screen
"They destroy important plantlife, drive the local species extinct, drive migrating species out so that they’re never seen again. We saw all of these things when the Howling Frog was introduced to Foggy Bottom Swamp; We saw it when the May Pie Fly came to Appleloosa."

>>30295378
>You looked up at the projection screen, your brow furrowing
"Your highnesses, my ladies, professor and magi alike, I say that this is happening to us as we speak. We are facing a foreign species that was born and bred to destroy society as we know it."
>"And how would they do such a thing?" Fleur de Lis demanded, crossing her forelegs. "There's no human females for them to breed, and the human stallions that I've met don't seem particularly dangerous."
"You're right, at first glance the humans don't seem all that dangerous," you agreed. "They're a good deal larger than ponies, stronger than unicorns and untrained pegasi, but they're magicless and their numbers are relatively few compared to ours."
"But if you just look closely you'll find that a human male is far, FAR more dangerous than you could ever imagine."
>You tapped a hoof against the marble floor, the sound echoing throughout the silent room
>For several seconds, there was a pause, before the door to the classroom was thrown open
>Your assistants, Brown Noser and Fly High, wearing hazmat suits, slowly trotted in
>They were pushing someone along, bound and secured, in a metal chair
>It was Anon, also known as S001-34
>S001-34 looked a bit disheveled and confused, but thankfully he was just allowed himself to be pushed along
>You looked over the humans restraints
>Your assistants had secured him fully
>Good...
>Now there was no chance of him escaping...
>As the human was wheeled in, the mares watching looking on with varying degrees of outrage, confusion, and disbelief
>Princess Celestia in particular looked less than happy, as she quickly rose from her seat and made her way toward you

>>30295267
>>One prompt won't destroy the thread.
But that's not what's happening.
Instead of one prompt being posted and then left alone, a few samefags are constantly rehashing the same SHOT DOWN prompt that NO WRITER wants to do (for aforementioned obvious reasons) in this general.

>>Half the time content rocks the boat in a thread is because some tard can't let go how outraged he is about it and drags the thread down.
Inaccurate. It's not that some lone guy says he doesn't like it. It's that the brainless cuck keeps reposting the same shit worded in an ever-so-slightly different manner OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and then drags the whole thread down with his constant posting of his shitty idea that virtually no one in the general wants.

>>30295383
>"Moondancer, my dear, please don't tell me that you took this poor stallion against his will and forced him to come in here," she said, very nearly frowning. "Because if you did I promise that it won't go very well for you."
>She looked over at S001-34 while your teats twisted just a bit at her not so subtle threat
>"Anonymous? Are you okay dear?"
>S001-34 looked around, blinking owlishly
>"I... think?" he said. "Moony and her nerd friends promised me chocolate and I somehow ended up in this thing..."
>He glanced around a bit more, before looking up at the princess
>"This isn't some weird noble rape thing is it?"
>Princess Celestia's eyes widened in alarm, though Princess Luna, who was still seated with the rest of the mares, let out an amused snort
>"No it’s not, Anon," Princess Celestia quickly assured. "Nopony here will harm you, and if you wish it, I'll free you at once."
>S001-34 gave you a questioning look, which you tactfully ignored, before shrugging
>"Well... it's not like I'm uncomfortable or anything," he said, leaning back into the wheelchair. "A bit confused, and I'd like some more chocolate, but I guess I'll sit here until Moony's done with her weird nerd shit."
"It's not weird nerd shit!" you snapped. "This is careful scientific research and study!"
>S001-34’s nose scrunched up
>"Yeah, nerd shit. You nerd."
>"Are you sure, Anon?" Celestia asked, loosening the straps securing his arms and legs.
>"Yeah, I'm sure," S001-34 replied, before looking over at you. "But I'm gonna want a lot more chocolate after this is over. The good stuff from that one store near the pizza place. And fudge, a whole lot of fudge."
>...
>Shit...
>That store's expensive as horse apples...
>Still, you probably could dump the cost on the crown...

>>30295391
"I'll make sure to get you your chocolate, Anon," you said. "AFTER this is over. Now please be quiet and let me get on with my presentation."
>S001-34 nodded, motioning you to begin with a bound hand
"Your highness, if you'd please take a seat..."
>Princess Celestia, though she didn't look entirely too thrilled with what was going on, did as you asked, making her way back toward her seat
>As she did that you made sure to cast a quick spell on S001-34
>The spell that no unicorn went without learning
>Clover the Clever's in-one-ear-out-the-other charm
>Now S001-34 would be able to talk all he wanted but nopony would hear him except you, which would hopefully allow you to continue your presentation without interruption
>Now...
>Coughing into a hoof, you turned your attention back toward the rest of your audience
"This, ladies, is the homo faggous youous, otherwise known as a human being."
>You poked S001-34’s shoulder with your ruler
"As I've said before, a human, especially a human male, doesn't seem particularly dangerous at first glance. In fact, many humans, especially Anon here, look about as frightening as a puppy dog."
>S001-34’s nose scrunched up
>"Says the marshmallow horse."
"But, if we were to look a bit closer, we'd find some very unsettling things," you continued, ignoring S001-34
>With a spell, you very gently opened S001-34’s mouth
"Though a human’s bite strength is minimal compared to other species, it's usually enough to break the skin of most animals."
>You tapped one of S001-34's canines
"But that isn't remarkable. What IS remarkable is that their saliva carries a very particular bacteria, the Amorethyigon Gydongia."
>A few of the more brainy mares in attendance perked up, but for everypony else you may as well have been speaking a different language
>You changed the picture in your projection to show the little bacteria enlarged so that it could be easily seen

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>>30295401
"The Amorethyigon Gydongia, otherwise known as the love bug, is only usually seen in dovey lovey-tulips," you continued. "If administered in high enough doses, it's able to chemically alter a mare or stallion for a brief amount of time. These alterations usually cause said mare or stallion to feel happiness, or affection, or even love for ponies or things."
>You switched the projection's picture to a graph
>"The green bar here is the amount of Amorethyigon Gydongia in a dovey-lovey tulip," you said, tapping against the projection screen. "The blue bar is the bare minimum amount needed to effect an average sized mare."
>You looked up at the two bars, which were absolutely tiny compared to the third bar
"The yellow bar is the amount of love bug in a tablespoon of human saliva."
>Eyes widened, and a whistle came from the crowd
>One of your colleagues, a very bright doctor named Pocket Protector, raised a hoof
>"Excuse me, but are you sure these findings are correct, professor?" she asked. "For something to be able to produce that much..."
>"What? Is that bad?" S001-34 asked, looking around. "What's wrong with my spit? What about a love bug?"
"At first, I was positive that my findings were wrong, just as I'm sure many of you are thinking, but no matter what I did or however many times I changed my procedures, equipment, and subjects the results were conclusive."
>Pocket Protector dryly swallowed
>"...And how many subjects were you able to acquire?" she asked
"I was able to collect saliva from every human in Canterlot and Ponyville," you replied
>While that was less than fifty humans, it was a large enough sample of the population to show that your findings weren't just some fluke
>You looked over at S001-34
>He was looking back at you puzzled, his brow furrowed and his nose scrunched up
>For many, it would have looked adorable, but you knew the beast lurking just under that little snoot and those green eyes

>>30295413
"It seems that human men have the ability to make a pony affectionate with just a kiss."
>Whispers erupted from the crowd of mares
>Many looked at the bar graph you had laid out, then at S001-34, then at you
>You let this talking continue for a few moments, so that you could collect your thoughts, before taking a deep breath and continuing
"But that isn't all. Is you were to look very carefully you'd realize that a human nearly every limb on a human is geared for seduction.”
>You tapped your ruler against S001-34's cheek
"Humans have very small eyes, not unlike a foals. That, along with their usually soft, shapely faces with them a sense of helplessness or gentleness, as do their small, button-like noses."
>S001-34's button-like nose scrunched up a little harder
"Who are you calling soft-faced, you dork? Just because I like my chocolate doesn't mean that I--"
"If I could have a few mares step forward for a few moments I'd appreciate it."
>The mares looked at each other while you tapped your ruler against S001-34’s thigh
"Come on now, it'll just be for a second," you assured. "Come on, Anon here won't bite."
>"I might actually," S001-34 said, and was ignored
>After a second or two, Twilight rose from her seat
>A few seconds after that, Fleur de Lis stood up as well
>You smiled
"If you two would come over here I'd like to show the rest of the mares in attendance something."
>Both Twilight and the duchess did as you asked, trotting over and standing on either side of you
>S001-34 looked at both of them before making eye contact with you
>"...Are you sure this isn't some kind of weird sex cult thing?" he asked. "Because I wouldn't say no, but I would have liked a bit of warning first if it is..."
>You turned toward Fleur

>>30295422
"My lady if you'd indulge me I'd appreciate it if you pressed your muzzled against Anon's chest and took a deep breath."
>The duchess raise an eyebrow but, old soldier she was, didn't question your request
>With a, "pardon me ser," she leaned forward, pressed her muzzle lightly against S001-34's chest and took a sniff
>Not half a second passed before you saw a visible shudder ran up the duchess's spine
>Her eyes widened in surprise, and you saw her body grow tense
>Pressing her muzzle a little more firmly against the human's chest, she took in a deep breath
>"Hmmmmm..."
>S001-34 looked down at the mare, more bemused than anything
>"You know, you keep telling me that this isn't a sex thing, but I'm starting to feel that you're all full of shit," he said, moving his head back to avoid the duchess's horn as she began to rub her muzzle back and forth against his chest
>You looked over at Twilight, who was staring at the unicorn with wide-eyed disbelief
"I'd ask you to take a smell as well, Twilight, but I think the duchess here has proven my point enough."
>With a spell, you changed the picture on your projector
>This one was of a human male, his arms outstretched
"Along with their saliva, the human has other multiple tools of seduction."
>Avoiding the duchess as best as you could, you tapped your ruler against Anon's underarms
"There are specialized glands in a human male's armpits and groin area that are specifically designed to pump out pheremones in such a concentration as to leave even a hardened war hero like Ms. Lis here in a stupor. These glands are particularly active when the human begins to sweat, as Anon here is doing now."
>Seeing that Fleur was slowly nuzzling herself downward to S001-34's groin area, you gave her a quick tap on the horn with your ruler
>The unicorn twitched, her head shooting up into the air
>As she looked around, you were able to see her half-lidded, hazy eyes and her almost dopey expression

>>30295317
>You said earlier in the thread the sole reason you want to "help the fantasy of a mare" was so Anon and Shining would fuck each other
I never said that, only that I would like to see Cadence enjoy being dominant a little too much and force the two of you to lick her hooves.

>>30295387
>that NO WRITER wants to do
This is not a hivemind, Anon. Just becasue you don't like it doesn't mean there aren't others who might like it.

>>30295430
"Interestingly enough, this pheromone, along with being very powerful, can not only be smelled by everything from ponies to gryphons to dragons, but it is very hard to nullify with any kind of magic or mask. Also, it is very interesting to note that this pheromone does not affect the males of any given species in any way."
>Seeing that the duchess was still out of it, you gave her horn another tap
>She blinked, her eyes clearing
>"What in Equestria...?" she murmured, rubbing her temple with a hoof
"You'll be completely fine in a minute or two, my lady," you said. "Though the pheromone can be quite powerful if inhaled at very close distances, its effects don't last much longer than their saliva."
>Fleur's eyes eyes snapped toward S001-34
>Though she didn't blush, as much mares would have in her position, she did inclined her head
>"I beg your forgiveness, ser. I… I do not know what came over me."
>"It's fine, tall white horse," S001-34 replied, though she couldn't hear him. "Just remember to buy me dinner next time."
>You turned your attention back toward the crowd of mares, who were now all intently watching what was happening
"In my studies, I've found that this pheromone is designed to spread throughout a room, so that the concentration isn't so powerful as to leave a mare in a stupor, but to reel her in as it were. My lady, if you'd please step away for a moment I'd like Princess Twilight to help me with this next part."
>Giving S001-34 a look, Fleur did as you asked
>You motioned Twilight forward, who did so with only a bit of caution
"Along with their varying hormones and bacteria, a human male also has a pair of soft, very agile claws, not unlike a minotaurs."
>The tip of your horn glowed, expelling the charm that you had placed on the human
>With a flick of your horn you undid the straps holding S001-34's left arm in place
"Anon, if you'd please go ahead and begin petting Princess Twilight please."

>>30295423
You are asking the wrong thread dumbass, you want, "dominant" Candyass? Go to SiM. And its funny you still don't acknowledge your plan for that shit prompt earlier, the one that has Candyass make Anon and Shining play with each other. You don't get to shift the goal post and say its a new idea. It was shit before, its shit now, and it was shit later. Fuck off with it and leave. We are trying to enjoy a writefag at work, and your ruining it.

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>>30295317
This.
Exactly this.

>>30295267
Sir, you're no longer welcome in this general, please collect the shit-stained massive plastic cocks falling out of your gaping faggot asshole and mouth and vacate the premise immediately.

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>>30295441
>S001-34 looked at you, then looked at Twilight, who was trying her hardest not to squirm
>"...Okay."
>Slowly, S001-34 lifted his hand and placed it on Twilight's head
>Twilight ruffled her wings, but other than that she was completely still
>That is, before S001-34 began scratching
>You, along with everypony else in attendance, watched as his fingers parted her mane and lightly scratched her scalp
>Twilight let out a quiet gasp, stomping her back leg
>Her eyes widened and her ears perked up, which gave S001-34 the perfect opportunity to begin scratching one of them
"Though they don't look like it, the human claw, or hand as they call it, is a nearly unparalleled instrument in the art of scratching, petting, and touching," you said as Twilight's gasps turned into pleased groans, all of the tension leaving her body. "No other paw or claw is as soft and flexible as it, and very few are comparatively as strong."
>Twilight, her eyes slowly slipping closed, shuffled forward
>Letting out a quiet knicker, she attempted to rest her head on S001-34's thigh, only for Fleur de Lis to wrench the ruler out of your magic and slap her rump with it
>"Control yourself, highness!" she snapped. "Especially while in the presence of a stallion!"
>Twilight yelped in both surprise and pain, leaping into the air with limbs flailing
>She would have crashed face first into the ground had you not caught her and sat her down with a spell
>"I-I, um... what h-happened?" she asked, a blush exploding across her face as she looked around.
>The duchess let out a grunt, hoofing you back your ruler
"You were about to lay your head in this stallion's lap, your highness," she said
>She looked over at S001-34, who looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh
>"Ohmygosh! I'm sorry, Anon! I-I don't know what came over m-me!"
>"It's alright, princess," S001-34 said with a smile. "I know how you ponies get with your pets. Moony espec--"

>>30295413
>"The Amorethyigon Gydongia, otherwise known as the love bug, is only usually seen in dovey lovey-tulips,"
I'm dead. This is entirely silly.

>>30295467
"All human males seem to get as much pleasure petting mares as the mare gets pleasure from the petting. This closeness also allows the human's pheromones to begin their work."
>You flipped through a few pages in your projector
>Of humans petting mares
>Mares setting in humans laps, snoozing
>A human and a mare hugging each other
"A human male, with its surprisingly soft, furless skin, it also very pleasant to touch, so much so that most ponies can't help but get close, which does the same job as the petting."
>You used a spell to once again restrain S001-34's arm
>Other than shaking his head and muttering something about silly ponies, S001-34 did nothing to stop you from doing so
"There are quite a number of other things that I could go over, both physical and social that make the human male so dangerous. I could tell you that many humans are monogamous by choice or are far more agreeable and approachable than many stallions. I could also go into their views on clothing, their mannerisms, I could reiterate many of the points I’ve made, but I won't."
>"Because you're lazy," S001-34 commented, and was lightly smacked in the knee for his trouble
"Because all of the evidence that I've presented to you all can be explained away in some way or another. A human's biological traits could just be a trick of evolution and nothing more. So I will speak of something that can't be so easily explained. The human reproductive system."
>The projector clicked as you changed the picture
>This was of a human stallionhood
"This, gentlemares, is the human penis. Unlike a stallion, which balloons his cocks to an erect state through the use of a specialized gland, the human penis enters a hardened state through the flow of blood through the organ. This allows a human to become erect very easily."
>You flipped through a few pictures of human cocks, some soft, some hard
>S001-34's eyes narrowed

>>30295439
>This is not a hivemind, Anon. Just becasue you don't like it doesn't mean there aren't others who might like it.
Seeing as how the prompt of "anon fucks fagging armor and candyass is ignored in a corner" has been posted to DEATH, and NO ONE has written about it for this general (with exception to one really shitty attempt that couldn't even get proper syntax right by a samefag about a year ago now), it's pretty obvious that none of the RGRE writers want to.

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>>30295401
>it's usually enough to break the skin of most animals
That's an understatement. It's actually quite a bit stronger than that, we underestimate our bite because we overestimate the defenses of most scary looking animals and because it doesn't break any records. But it gets the job done, especially with repeated bites.

Nothing really wrong with what you wrote by the way. It's just a good excuse to post pic related, because it's hilarious.

>>30295473
>"Where the hell did you get all of those pictures, Moony? And is that me coming out of the shower--"
"It is also worth noting that no human goes into a state of rut, but is in a continuous state of heat as soon as he matures into a adolescent."
>You flipped through a few more pictures
>These were of a more... intimate nature
>Of mares making love to human stallions, of human stallions holding down and rutting mares
>These pictures were, admittedly, not as easy to acquire as you would have liked
>Though sex demons that may or may not be, some humans wanted very little to do with ponies romantically
>At least that's what they wanted you to believe...
>But, enough humans had gotten into enough physical relationships that you were able to get your point across
"And with this constant state of arousal comes a sex drive that is on par with a mares."
>"Bucking AWESOME..." somepony in the crowd said, which had more than a few heads bobbing
>Your nose scrunched at the lack of seriousness, but you were able to ignore it for the most part, switching your picture back to the human penis
"Once again, this could be nothing more than a coincidence, as is the human's sexual stamina, the shape and size of their sexual organs, their refractory period, and a list of other things, if not for one thing. The human sperm."
>With a flick of your horn, you changed the picture to a sperm cell
>A human sperm cell to be more specific
"Though it looks nothing out of the ordinary, THIS is the most dangerous thing in the human's arsenal," you said with the utmost seriousness. "I've run test on all manner of eggs. Dragon, earth pony, unicorn, pegasus, gryphon, diamond dog, even alicorn, and the results are all the same. No matter the species, even a drop of human semen will take."
>You changed the page on the projector to a human and pony couple
>The human was knelt down beside the mare with his hand on her belly
>A belly that was already beginning to show

>>30295439
>>30295423
Wow, you samefagged the exact same message, and wonder why people still don't like the idea? It isn't only one person that doesn't like it. It is the majority of the thread that doesn't want your trash, there is only you, and the two dudes that try to back you up when you shitpost here. Stay out and ask a thread that actually caters to your shit. And seeing as you might miss the other part. here>>30295458

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>>30295485
"This seed is so entirely potent that I believe it has the ability to impregnate a mare when she is out of season."
>Twilight's brow furrowed
>"Out of season? Are you sure?"
>You nodded
"The mare in the picture is proof. It was in the middle of winter when she found out that she was a month along in her pregnancy."
>You tapped your ruler against the ground
“While that may be a fluke of some kind, or the mares might have went into heat for some other reason, but I’d bet my cutiemark that we’ll be hearing of more out of season mares carrying foals in the coming year.”
>With that, a chorus of whispers erupted from the audience
>There was pointing, very heated discussion, and one or twice you were positive that there was going to be a hooffight
>In the midst of this chaos, Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadence stared at the happily pregnant mare, all with thoughtful expressions on their faces
>"And do the doctors know what the child is going to look like, Moondancer?" Princess Celestia asked, her voice carrying over the other chatter
"From what I've been told, it looks like it’s going to be a perfectly healthy earth pony, your highness," you replied
>"So it is no abomination or hybrid?" Princess Luna asked
"No, I don't believe so, your grace. It will be a normal pony, though I don't doubt that it will have a few features from its father."
>The chatter disappeared, and silence reigned
>You could feel dozens of eyes on you
>You had the complete attention of the most powerful mares in Equestria, and not only that they were hanging on your every word
>You drew yourself up to your full height
“Gentlemares, ladies, doctors, I bring this information to you because you’re the only ones that can do something about it. These humans, these men, they can alter our very way of life if more begin to come.”
>You pointed at S001-34, who was staring off into space

>>30295501“Stallions or no, these creatures will be our ruin if we let them. They want to breed us out to have some kind of… other race, something not quite pony. I don’t doubt that they wish to spread throughout Equus until all other species are nothing more than these odd hybrids. So we must fight back against them in anyway that we can. We must show them that, no matter what they do, they will not break us! We are Equestrians, and they would do well to remember that!”
>Once again, discussion exploded throughout the crowd of mares for several minutes
>The princesses leaned toward each other, quietly conversing
>Ponies seeing this, leaned toward them and began adding their two bits
>As the chatter rose in volume, you couldn't help but smile to yourself
>Bucking nailed it...
>S001-34, who was looking at the crowd just like you, leaned forward
>"So I'm like some weird sex alien to you guys then?" he whispered
"Yep."
>He nodded, leaning back into his chair and eyeing Fleur, who was still staring at him intently
>"Huh... Neat."
>Seconds trickled by as the mares continued to talk
>These seconds turned into minutes
>Nearly an hour passed of intense conversation before Princess Celestia finally stood up
>"Moondancer, I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing this information to our attention."
>You bowed
"There's no need to thank me, your highness. I was simply doing what anypony else would do if they were in my position."
>"Humility aside, I believe that your concerns are valid, and my fellow princesses, as well as everypony else in attendance, will begin taking steps to meet this... threat head on."
>You bowed a little lower
"Thank you very much, your Highness..."

>>30295507
Sorry for interrupting LaP, your a credit to the thread.

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>>30295507
>"Yes but even so I believe that a bit more study is needed," another mare said standing up.
>Other mares stood up as well, all of them staring at S001-34
>Princess Celestia nodded
>”Yes. If these humans are the… menace you say they are, and if only half of what you’ve told us is true, we need to learn everything about their race.”
>“Maybe attempt to bring more over ourselves, or perhaps travel to their world in an attempt at espionage,” Princess Luna added, a glint in her eye as she licked her lips. “And I don’t suppose that it would hurt if we were to run a few… tests on the humans we currently have at our disposal.”
>”Thorough tests,” one of the nobles said
>”Y-Yeah, very thorough,” an archmage agreed, producing a handkerchief and dabbing her forehead with it. “Lots and lots and LOTS of research…”
>Fleur drew herself up to her full height
>”If it pleased your majesties, I’d be happy to lead an expeditionary force myself to the human’s world,” she said, eyeing S001-34 meaningfully.
>”Can I go to?” someone asked
>”Me too, I wanna go!”
>”What about me? I wanna go to a world full of sex aliens!”
>”Buck you Sea Breeze! You already got to go to the Saddle Arabian embassy a few months ago! Give the rest of us a chance to get some action!”
>”No buck you! I DESERVE this!”
>Excited chatter erupted throughout the classroom
>You, looking at the most powerful mares in Equestria acting like a bunch of school fillies, sighed explosively
>S001-34, meanwhile, leaned over toward you
>”I KNEW this was a sex thing.”
>...
>Celestia dammit...

>>30295522
Alrighty, I'm done. Just a silly idea I hope you guys got a kick out of

>>30295483
So if one person brought it up thousands of years ago, then nobody is ever allowed to bring it up again?
>and candyass is ignored in a corner
I never said that either. Don't put words in my mouth.
>fagging armor
Do you have some sort of problem with Shining Armor?

>>30295527
Definitely got a kick out of it, LaP. Definitely second >>30295514 when they say you're a credit to this thread. Please keep writing, and when will you have more Page Anon and/or Xenophilia Anon?