Fimfiction thread: 2016 edition. Now with 40.5% more tropes!

I cant leave you retards alone for four goddamned hours without the thread dying.

you guys suck

If griffons are jews, does that make Arimaspi Hitler? Is Gilda Israel?

>>25986392
>griffons are jews
since when?

dragons are all about hoarding shekels, and diamond doges are all about hoarding shinies while enslaving others. how do gryphons fit into that?

page 4 bump 'cause I got shit to do and cant trust you cunts to keep a thread alive

>>25986689
DYEWTS?

There was a whole fucking episode set in the Griffin capital, and they were greedy fucks who wouldn't even save you if you couldn't pay them first.

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>>25986689
Who is the glorious bartard that writes it?
>>25986689
Yes, griffons are 100% slav jews

Have any of you ever sneaked references to other fics in your own works?

https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/583541/move-is-finished

RealityCheck officially ragequit

(http://www.fimfiction.net/story/28239/the-life-and-times-of-a-winning-pony)
Remind me again why I shouldn't read it. Because I'm getting awfully tempted to get a longfic in before college kicks back up again.

>>25986689
The Griffinstone episode established they're incredibly greedy and not at all like the Klingon Empire.

>>25987638
That's one of my personal favorite things to do in my fics. Readers seem to really enjoy them, too.

>>25988097
>ragequit
>Online
He's doing it wrong.

>>25988099
>Remind me again why I shouldn't read it.
Because a lot of people didn't like it. And some never bothered.
And you want to fit in, don't you Anon?
Don't you?

>>25986950
>DYEWTS?
No actually. I havent seen shit since the S4 finale

>who wouldn't even save you if you couldn't pay them first.
so theyre normal people then?


>>25988097
and nothing of value was lost. I think. I cant actually remember anything hes done.

>>25988140
Gotta stay logged in so you can see the wailing and gnashing of teeth of all those people who now realize the error of their ways.

or hes full of shit and will meekly be back in a week or two like all of the others tards who had a meltdown and sperged themselves

Are Berserkers too cliché to put in a fanfic?

>>25988097
>

The stories here have already been deleted. This site runs off ad revenue. I'm not leaving my content up where they can continue milking it for clicks, no matter how much or how little they made.
Jesus, what's he so butthurt about?

>>25988099
>Remind me again why I shouldn't read it.
Its not a terrible fic, but its not a good one either

from the pastebin:

The Life and Times of a Winning Pony
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/28239/the-life-and-times-of-a-winning-pony

Cloud kicker is a slut. Gets roped into a relationship, then continues to fuck anything with a vaj and a pulse. Everything she touches turns to shit and blows up in her face, yet there are no lasting repercussions to anything that she fucks up.

pros:
Both major canon characters manage to maintain their personas as established by canon.
Despite the content, this was well written and not painful to read.
It could have been worse. If this included clop it could easily be longer than DoaM.

Cons:
It reads like a shitty self insert. CK is universally loved despite being a total fuck up and everything she touches turning into shit.
Its predictable.
It spawned its own 'verse. Quite possibly the greatest sin a fic can commit.

As mentioned, its not the worst thing ever, and chengars writing style is actually fun to read.
That being said I'm not going to waste my time reading anything else from the winningverse.
if you can live with that, go for it

>>25988227
'pparently the mods were mean to him or something along those lines.

>>25988253
mean to him? How?

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>>25988097
confirming nothing of value was lost

>>25988275
> But, after years of petty harassment, and the growing bias and poor treatment by the moderators, this site, for all its shiny bells and whistles, just isn't worth the hassle.

I'll be honest, I only know RC from a couple of inflammatory comments in a friend's fic and the time he implicitly condoned child abuse in a comment of one of my fics.

>>25988188
This is kind of an important question, guys. Please? I got dubs.

>>25988482
in *a* fanfic? no

in a pony fanfic? probably. what fic?

>>25988554
Not important. Something I'm writing currently. My main characters are in a bit of a pickle, and I'd like to have them handle it in a way they don't normally do, for the sake of variety and character development. It makes narrative sense for one of them to have some "berserker mode" (terrible terminology but still) that he can tap into with several hours of intensive meditation. Now, I'd planned for it to happen in a similar way from the beginning, but I feel like having it come out of a psychotic rage that takes a lot of time and effort to invoke is a better substitute to having him just be that good (granted, he is very good, but the nut he has to crack is an incredibly hard one).

I think it would be interesting, but if it's too clichéd, I'd like to know so I can come up with something else.

>>25988665
>"berserker mode"
>intensive meditation.
Yes I need to calmly meditate for several hours in order to become a homicidal psychopath
seems legit. cant you just feed him some meth or bath salts or anything else that makes more sense?

>>25988704
It has been well established that he has a lot of experience with the stuff of the outdoors. Having him be able to throw some local plants together to make a killing spree drug does sound feasible, but he does come from a very anti-drug cultural background that's obsessed with discipline, which is why I even considered intensive meditation as a possibility.

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>>25988811
>anti-drug cultural background that's obsessed with discipline
doesnt fit with beserkerism. sure they were supposedly warrior shamans by some accounts, which would make drugging plausible, but they were also not exactly known for discipline which doesnt really fit in with what youre trying to portray

>>25988934
I think it's possible for a berserk state, being a result of effort from a disciplined mind, to be explained by a sort of self-hypnosis. But I'm starting to warm up to the idea of drugging despite his preference for staying straight-edge. Internal conflict isn't necessarily a bad thing, after all.

As a matter of fact, I happen to have already introduced a drug that can induce psychotic rage as a part of the worldbuilding, but the problem there is it's extremely, highly addictive, to the point where having him not become an addict after a sufficiently high dose to turn him berserk would be a strain on willing suspension of disbelief.

Quick question for you all. Is it okay for a small scene to be in the POV of a side character for the purpose of transitioning into another event? It's likely the story won't be returning to that character's POV and it would be a one time thing.

>>25989077
the idea that one must have a highly disciplined mind in dorer to become a frothing at the mouth lunatic is too dissonant for me. I think I can see where youre trying to go, but I simply cant accept it at face value

honestly it seems like the drugging route is likely the least ass-pulley method of doing your little berserker thing

ancient fanon/headcanon time.
Aside from the Klingon griffons, has anything else been destroyed or confirmed by canon?

>Cloudkicker- unabashed slut
>Lyra- humans!
>Berry Punch- raging alcoholic
>Blueblood- is an oddity. some folks keep him a show accurate twatwaffle for use as a minor villain, whereas most seem to make him a decent bro that uses the twatwaffle facade to keep the golddigging bitches away
>Derpy- clumsy (due to eye condition) but otherwise rather intelligent. (despite her original voice 'proving' she be 'tarded). also muffins!
>Dinky- a prodigy with twilight levels of intellect
>Time Turner- that goddamned dr whooves timelord bullshit
>Braeburn- raging homosexual
>Vinyl Scratch- wubs
>Octavia- high class socialite musician, usually with a British or Mid-Atlantic accent
>Gilda- usually the daughter of the emperor or some other high ranking griffon official
>Bon Bon- the "rouge changeling" angle's been gaining quite a bit of steam lately
>Soarin- goofy and carefree while also chasing that mare tail also pie addict
>Night Guard/batponies- obsessively loyal to Luna to the point of fanaticism
>griffons- Klingon Empire
>changelings- hive mind
>Minuette- dentist
>Dumbbell and/or Hoops - irredeemable assholes, bullies, and sometimes even rapists. Even if the fic is Post-Sonic Rainboom.
>Bon-Bon & Lyra- super ultra mega lesbians
>Dinky & Derpy- mother & daughter
>Scootaloo- homeless orphan
>Celestia- cake!
>Fancy Pants- a noble of some sort
>"Button Mash"- obsessed with vidya (due to being seen playing vidya on screen for 1/4 of a second)
>Salt- pony intoxicant

At the risk of being at all productive...

Foundation in Equestria

Luna and Celestia are dying (for whatever reason).

Twilight finds about and becomes desperate to help Equestria through the transition. The princesses have ruled for over 1000 years and their magic maintains a number of really important things (keeps the sun and moon moving, keeps the monsters bound in Tartarus, keeps the Everfree Forest locked up, this kind of thing). With them gone, she worries Equestria will tear itself apart.

Anyway, to get answers Twilight creates Magical!Psychohistory. Since Psychohistory doesn't work on a planetary scale, she does it by finally decoding Pinkie's Pinkie Sense. The result is that Twilight can now understand all the twitches, itches, flops and flips. She creates a magical instrument which looks like the Uffington White Horse and uses it to delve the possible paths of the future.

Using this, Twilight comes to a number of terrible conclusions.

If she doesn’t act, the fall Luna and Celestia will be apocalyptic. The released monsters and nature will be a near extinction level event. It will be tens of thousands of years before Equestria can rise again.

However, if she acts properly, she can reduce this to a mere 500 years.

Towards this end, Twilight begins organizing Eqeustria. She creates the Encyclopedia Foundation and sets up in the harsh hills north of the Crystal Empire. Their task, officially, to gather all the knowledge of Equestria together in one place to protect and preserve it, but in fact they are to become the seed for the new Equestria.

Thanks to the ponies she sends and their horde of knowable, they become masters of magic and science.

She leaves with them the Element of Magic, imprinted with parts of her thoughts and mind. During times of great crisis, the lead of the Foundation can put on the crown and Twilight can speak through that pony. (This is of course the MLP version of a Seldon Crisis).

>>25991152

She also creates a secret, second Foundation in Canterlot itself. This she tasks with studying the Weirding Way, the core of which is her Magical!Psychohistory, but also branches out into other weird areas of magical and natural philosophy (an unsettling number of which are derived from Pinkie). Their job is to refine to Psychohistoric Timeline and ensure it stays on track.

She also sets things up so the Equestria successor states will fracture and unify in ways best suited her plan. Perhaps the most important part of this is setting up a unicorn rump state around Canterlot itself, charged with moving the sun and the moon.

Twilight and her friends don't survive to see this new world. Instead, Twilight leads them into Tartarus, where they succeed at stopping the realise of the monster's there, at the cost of their own lives.

Moving on from setup… The Mule is of course a mule, probably a descendant of Cranky Doodle Donkey who even in death is taking none of Pinkie's nonsense and is so outside of Magical!Psychohistory.

>>25989785
To paraphrase Sun Tzu, it takes a highly ordered force to feign disorder. I think the same general principle could be applied here.

>>25991251
Sun Tzu is about war you idiot. Your guy is not "feigning" disorder, he is going in a totally uncontrolled fury.

This is an even worse allusion than the guy who used Tesla to tell me general relativity was fake.

>>25991511
The thing about The Art of War is it can be interpreted in different ways for different purposes. It's not uncommon for this book's lessons to be applied to things completely unrelated to war/military matters. Hell, you could even apply it to arguing on 4chan if you wanted to for some magical reason.

That said, the point I'm trying to make here is it's not entirely unbelievable for someone to go into self-induced blind fury through the power of his own mind if he truly has that much discipline and willpower. In fact, considering this is a setting where alicorn god-queens move the sun and the moon and where demons from hell can occasionally sneak into the "normal" realm, that might actually be one of the more mundane things that could happen.

>>25986392
They're cheap and greedy. You could just as well call the Scots.

>>25988188
It depends no how you pull it off. Give me context, m8.

>>25988665
Am I supposed to take the scene seriously? Because then I wouldn't do that. It isn't only clichéd, it's also kind of nonsensical.

>>25991251
>art of war
>to justify berserker rage

>>25991582
You're drowning in stupid here. First of all, not all interpretations are as valid. This counts for everything.
Secondly, you can't justify one thing by the fact that something completely unrelated exists. There's no logic behind your reasoning.

>>25991637
>not all interpretations are as valid.
True, but consider if it was just *acting* really angry. He would have to know exactly what behaviours to exhibit and what expressions to make to be believable, and he would have to have the self-control needed to not break character. It does, in a sense, require order in the mind.

>Secondly, you can't justify one thing by the fact that something completely unrelated exists
Given we're talking about how a fanciful thing can exist and can be believed, bringing up fanciful elements in canon to show that it can is completely on the table.

>>25991715
>consider the fact if it was just acting really angry

That's not berserk mode then. Berserk is really true uncontrolled anger, while your character is just faking.

>Fanciful stuff

Look. I'm writing a fic about a mass surveillance program covering all of Equestria, with a fancy secret agency to monitor every single pony's behavior. That's fanciful a lot, and I still won't bring in some Sun Tzu to justify why it can exist.

Maybe some other philosoph who talks about these matters, but not Sun Tzu. Why? Because he makes no fucking sense in this context.

That's like if I told you they said citations were dumb in an edgy teleseries for teens and used it to discredit you. You'd be angry, right? Well why? You did the same thing, applying a citation about army level tactics to a guy going in Hulk mode.

>>25991715
Jesus, I don't know why this discussion turned into such a mess.

If you really want him to meditate his way into an unstoppable rage, have him do like those Buddhist monks, but instead of meditating to change his skin temperature, he uses it to increase heart rate, adrenaline, endorphins (reduce pain), whatever. You don't have to explain it that way if it doesn't fit your tech level (I wouldn't expect canon ponies to know what adrenaline is) but you should be able to come up with something that gives the reader the right idea.

>>25991767
>That's not berserk mode then.
I was using that as an example to illustrate my point, the point being that a lesson can be applied to a wide variety of things. I wasn't saying that's what he was actually doing, I was using it as a hypothetical scenario to illustrate a point. Sincere question: do you have some variation of autism? Because that would explain why you seem to be using such a rigid, overly specific, face-value line of thinking.

>You did the same thing, applying a citation about army level tactics to a guy going in Hulk mode.
Actually, a paraphrasing; I'm not trying to claim authority by invoking Sun Tzu. A citation is completely different. I'm starting to doubt your intelligence here.

>>25991817
That's exactly the way I had in mind when I brought it up.

>>25991152
>>25991159
That does sound interesting, and I would honestly read that.

>>25991715
>True, but consider if it was just *acting* really angry.
Then you're talking about something else.

>bringing up fanciful elements in canon to show that it can is completely on the table
Only if you're viewing the elements isolated, which is pointless. Consider this:
The Sun is artificially moved <- Because Celestia moves it <- Because Celestia has a talent for the type of magic needed to move the Sun <- Because magic exists in the setting. It's not merely "since the Sun moves, everything is allowed". Everything you come up with has to be based in something, and the more fanciful your inclusion is, the better that thing has to be justified and connected to more believable stuff. This is basic.

>>25991884
>Everything you come up with has to be based in something
You never justified "because magic exists in the setting". You're contradicting yourself.

>>25991838
>I'm not invoking authority

Then why should we care if Sun Tzu isn't an authority in the matter? I could invoke a bum on the street saying your point doesn't make sense and he'd be at the same level as Sun Tzu here.

Unless your citation is done in context and with someone with authority in the matter, it won't make sense.

>>25991950
>>25991838

Also, sorry if some words sound wrong. I'm mostly speaking French, where citation is the equivalent of quote. Quote, citation, use the word you want.

>>25991904
Not really. There's such a thing as infinite regress.
Every setting has some basic truths that the rest of the setting is built upon. In Equestria, the existence of magic is one of these axiomatic principles, just like the existence of gravity and light. They're the basic terms we need to accept to further look into a setting. They work because they're more intuitively believable than the stranger points of any given setting. We accept the existence of gravity and light easily, because we are familiar with them. The concept of magic is not real, but so culturally familiar to us that most people find it readily believable. Hence the difference between "A hose moves the Sun" and "Magic exists, and this magic allows a horse to move the Sun".

Besides, I specified that it was everything YOU came up with, didn't I? All the things you as a writer introduce into an already established setting will with very rare possible exceptions be based in the basic axiomatic principles of the setting, which are things you haven't created.

>>25991904
>He has to justify established canon

>>25991950
I only brought up that Sun Tzu said it because I thought it'd be interesting to people unfamiliar with Sun Tzu.

>>25991957
The logic in your example is so broken though.
>Because Celestia has a talent for the type of magic needed to move the Sun <- Because magic exists in the setting
Doesn't logically follow because magic in general fantasy settings doesn't generally give people such specific talents, and there's no proof that it's the driving force behind such talents in the mlp universe.
>Because Celestia moves it <- Because Celestia has a talent for the type of magic needed to move the Sun
Doesn't logically follow because Celestia can choose not to move the sun despite having a talent for it; the sun was moved before she was even around to do that.

I'm honestly done trying to justify myself to pseudo-intellectual spergs, so let's just deal with your weak grasp on logic here.

>>25992000
> I thought it'd be interesting to people unfamiliar with Sun Tzu.

You've got a serious problem if you're unfamiliar with this guy. If all you want to is to bring up an "unknown" philosopher, you could have brought up one who has something to do with your subject.

>All that text at the end
>Fuck established canons
>You're all wrong and I'm right

So, you've gone to denying the basic principle of Celestia being the sun-princess just to allow your character to become an OP piece of shit?

>>25992000
>Obama is ruling the USA --> Because he has a the ability to do so

Doesn't logically follow cause Obama could choose not to rule the country despite having a talent for it. The country was ruled before he was even around to do that.

>>25992000
>The logic in your example is so broken though.
That may be, but it doesn't really matter as long as you understand the concept I was trying to communicate. Besides, we're working with writing here. The goal isn't to use formal logic to establish necessary truth, it's to craft a believable narrative, which are different processes.

>I'm honestly done trying to justify myself to pseudo-intellectual spergs
No need to get mad, just because I think your ideas are boring.

>>25992000
He's not saying that "pony magic can move the sun" logically follows from "ponies have magic". But in a story where it's already been established that ponies have magic and can use it to move things, you won't break suspension of disbelief if you start writing about very powerful pony magic moving the sun.

Now, if you want to have any old average unicorn able to move it, or maybe have pegasi able to fly up and push it around with their hooves, you'll need some more steps in the justification or else readers will be confused.

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I think I've had enough to last this year already...

So I submitted my first story.
What are the best methods of self promotion?

>>25989636
Sure, why not.

>>25990941
>>Bon Bon- the "rouge changeling" angle's been gaining quite a bit of steam lately
>lately
You fucking retard, you're reading fics from a -verse

>>25993021
Some day, some fucking day, I'll write that BOATMURDERED crossover I've had kicking around my head for like a year now.
Then again I have seven novells to write, and that's without counting the horse words.

>>25991817
>I wouldn't expect canon ponies to know what adrenaline is
Why not?

>>25993081

there are more than a few fics where bon bon is a changeling besides mendacity, and no , aside from the cloudkicker one none of those are based in verses as far as Im aware

page 9

>>25993021
At least it's not displaced.

Page 8

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/309367/a-mare-and-her-dog
No bully plz

>>25996620
>to save a word gonne madde.
Anon, pls.

>>25996759
My inner Pratchet force me to do it.

>>25989077
Try ritualistic chanting and self-flaggelation. Peyote is optional.

Shamanistic as fuck.

Why does her portrait have so much gamma, anyway?
Every time I see it I half expect it to be part of one of those gifs where something vibrates and then explodes.

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>>25997079
Fuck, forgot pic.

>>25993112
>Extracts of the adrenal gland were first obtained by Polish physiologist Napoleon Cybulski in 1895. These extracts, which he called nadnerczyna, contained adrenaline and other catecholamines.
Given when it was discovered, and depending on how you interpret Equestria's current technological advancement, ponies may or may not have the requisite knowledge of biology.

Hello friends

>non horse words related blog shit WHO DEY THINK GONNA BEAT THEM BENGALS?

Bleeding stories will begin tomorrow. Will also try to focus on Siren and Delicate.

I need a story that's depressing. Not too long, but at least over 3,000 words. I have an idea for a joke.

>>25998115
>I need a story that's depressing. Not too long, but at least over 3,000 words
well its fimfiction, so Id suggest any random fic using the comedy tag

>>25998115
Nevermind
>>25995452
This has come back.

>>25997773
>adrenaline was discovered by a Polish scientist
Kurwa, that's my man

And I'd say they're pretty advanced, at least in some fields, considering all the electronic equipment we've seen in the show.
Then again, ponies may not be so keen on fucking around with another pony's body.

>>25998115
>I have an idea for a joke.
Here we go.

5AM bump before I go to bed because I can't trust you faggots with anything.

>>25998827
My point there was that canon is pretty inconsistent in how it presents pony technology. For the most part it's steam power and mechanical, and then out of nowhere you've got hydroelectric dams, EKGs, and modern-day arcade machines.

>>25988227
>what's he so butthurt about?
There was that one attack fic where "Checkered Reality" does foalcon with Nyx. That was over a year ago, though.

It was the closest I've come to reporting a fic for violating site rules.

>>25988665
It does sound cliche. Not to mention implausible.

>in a bit of a pickle
Why not just use the situation they're in to think of a solution? There's all sorts of environmental things (as in, objects or terrain) they could use--not to mention the fact you have flying horses and unicorns to play around with.

>>25988811
>make a killing spree drug
The idea that someone could just throw together a few plants and bam, homicidal maniac drug, has a lot of connotations behind it (government regulation, crime/military applications) that would likely greatly impact the world the story's taking place in.

>>25989077
>him not become an addict
So have him become an addict. Congratulations, you just added a 20,000 word character arc to your fic while also showing that desperate actions in the story have consequences.

>>25989636
I don't see an issue with it.

>>25990941
>Vinyl and Octavia are basically their fanfic personas
>Gilda appears to be unrelated to any griffon government official
>Scootaloo does have a home

>>25997773
>That freedom was unlike anything I've ever felt! The speed, the adrenaline, the wind in my mane... I liked it... a lot!
Canon says they know about it.

>>25999678
It's actually pretty consistent. First modern EKG was 1901, and the first hydroelectric dam was 1882. The arcade wasn't til 1971, but that was a song and you can debate the canon status of songs.

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>>25999789
>The arcade wasn't til 1971, but that was a song and you can debate the canon status of songs.
Or you could argue that it was a large version of this with a sound system.

>>25999867
>tfw you get all the rings on the pins
>tfw you get so good at it that you can do it fast as fuck, then shake them off and do it again
The greatest gaming achievement of my life.

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>>25999789
>the first hydroelectric dam was 1882
Yeah, and it looked like this, not 80 feet high and made of solid concrete.

>>26000000

>>26000115
>eqg continues to ruin everything ever

>>25999789
>The arcade wasn't til 1971, but that was a song and you can debate the canon status of songs.

When was the fully-automated bowling alley first established? I don't think you can debate the canon of that one. Same for Vinyl Scratch's hi-tech sound system.

Seriously, pony tech levels relative to humans are wildly inconsistent, and from a meta perspective, intentionally so.

Are there any good fics set aboard ships?

Sea going ships, NOT airships

Is it in bad taste to have a protagonist commit genocide against Saddle Arabians? How about having him call it "removing kebab"?

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How does Fimfiction's view counter work? I mean, it says a little over 200 at the top right of my story, but when I hover over it it says I have almost 900. What's up with that?

>>26001464
Most viewed chapter. Should be your first chapter.

>>26001479
Ah, got ya. Thanks mate.

>>25990941
Oh man, this reminds me how the Fat Lyra/Feeder Bon-Bon thing is in Besides the Will of Evil out of fucking nowhere.

So guys are there any fics where the villains ape the Nazis? I believe TVT calls it "Putting On the Reich".

>>26001784
No I cant think of any fics in which the villains have really good ideas and awesome uniforms

Badabump

>>25999678
>Hydroelectric dams

We had them since the early 1900s here in Quebec.

http://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/hydroelectricity/

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>>26000105
Again, we had this baby in 1915.

And these babies too.

>https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centrale_de_la_Chute-Hemmings
>http://www.patrimoine-culturel.gouv.qc.ca/rpcq/detail.do?methode=consulter&id=190934&type=bien#.VovFT_krK00

All of those were build before or during WW1.

>>25986378
It's because OP tried to Futaloo get in the OP. That's just not proper.

Also, Futaloo get!

>>26001351

Yes. Why do you even need to ask?!

>>25996769
...But your title is an Ellison reference!

>>26004002
Maybe next time, Anon.
Also, it only counts if it's in the first five posts of the thread.

>>26004016
>?!

>>26004044
!?

Riveting discussion.

>>26004067
well its no worse than endless bumps, counting backwards from 10 or discussing the technological development of a fantasy race that hasnt seen at least one major war per decade since the dawn of time

How bout dem ponies, aye?

bump
page 10
most advances in human technology have come during times of conflict. lack of geopolitical conflict would explain differing rates of technological growth compared to our own

>>26005212
damn you for your premature ebumpulation while I was busy typing

>>26005233
luv u 2

>>26005233
>most advances in human technology have come during times of conflict. lack of geopolitical conflict would explain differing rates of technological growth compared to our own
Not to mention a diferent species with a diferent body shape in a wildly diferent geopolitical space (How many sapient species are there in mlp, ten or twelve?) with wildly diferent laws of physics (Magic, spiders are clever enough to make reverences, various realms) and wildly diferent abilities (The supposedlsy strongest of their kinds can fly over the barrier of sound without turning into a bloody mess, lift several tons, and I dunno cross all of Equestria in like ten minutes i guess) and in general a really, really diferent situation.
Stop trying to equate human technologic development to pony's. Please.

>>26005508

However long ago the reign of Discord was, Equestria was a far more chaotic, dangerous place.

Ponies had to do something to bring their environment under their control. But they rely more on personal abilities, including magic, or superhuman strength, because they actually have them.

Headcanon is they also borrow technology from other dimensions, which is why they have all kinds of terrestrial style technology despite not doing anything obvious to develop any of it.

They would have had conflicts earlier in their history, though, which may be when they developed the technology they have as well as refining their magical skills.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPkTnlVddg4&feature=youtu.be
Book attack by BleedingEquine
nasdognasdofgnodiasfgndg

>>26006082
MOAR!!!! Please!!!

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>>26006267

>>26006366
But i want more

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Funny bump.

It's been a while since the new tags were implemented.
Has there been any new good mystery, sci fi, or horror story?

>>26007146
Mystery is used the same way as a horror tag.

Sci-Fi are mostly crossovers

Horror is mostly 27edgy934spooky69u

>>26006391
wait for it

Bump discussion prompt:

Is there anything worth reading in the Feature Box right now?

>>26009436
I can definitively say, without even checking, no. No there is not.

>>26009567
And after checking I am assured of my correctitude.

>>26007146
Just flipped through 5 pages of top-rated non-crossover scifi. All the stuff on there that I've read and know is good, was started (and I had read it) before the scifi tag was added. But I did find a few that look good that I haven't read yet.

>>26009436

I haven't read either story yet, but there's fics in there by Georg and Baal Bunny. Both of them are pretty reliably good.

Everything else looks various shades of awful.

Halp how do write Spike good.

/paj/ thread needs help here. We fucked up and made him a gun toting anon-stand in early on, broke that whole thing, but now don't know how to write him as a decent character anymore.

>>26009802

Spike isn't that hard to write, just don't ask the show writers.

He's more mature than he lets on, or should be. Sarcastic, snarky especially with Twilight when they have a chance to play off one another. I prefer to write him as annoyed when others just assume he's a little kid simply because he's a 'baby' dragon. Likely very knowledgeable about magic while not being to do it himself. Likes pranks, generally carefree when not put on the spot.

His conflicts are generally stemming from the contrast of his seeming young age and occasional bouts of immaturity and wanting to be seen as just as adult as the rest of the main cast. There are a lot of in-canon ways to play with this. One that I am surprised isn't used more is the idea that dragons grow with their hoard. Spike may gather up a small hoard in order to make himself grow, sacrificing his apparent childhood as a way to be more useful, or to catch Rarity's attention.

>>26009628
Georg is a pretty good author. I'm rereading The Travelling Tutor and the Librarian, and I'm finding it a really well-paced romance, with the characters slowly falling in love and the story covering the growth/development of the romantic relationship rather than just the beginning of it.

>>26009979
Ok cool

So, how would you write him away from a very edgy characterisation?

>>26010151

Depending on the premise, I suppose a few ways. I guess I'd go with being more reluctant in direct conflict unless sufficiently motivated. Protecting his friends and those he cares about are the big ones.

If he's got a reason to go all out, he will. He's not edgy at all, the show seems to show he's pure-hearted in a naive sort of way. So basically the opposite of edge, which is better anyway.

NH time.

I've been completely rewriting the 1st chapter seeing how shitty the original looked, and I really can't get into thinking whatever I'm writing is decent.

Help appreciated.

Unedited version, []s are normal.

>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A3CqVvo6t4Y5oq-P3kNtoRqF6WOCKejfT_4dl4xDAcA/edit

>>26000190
>bowling
1936. A little late, but not too terrible.

>DJ turntable
Difficult to pinpoint. I'm getting circa 1960. Pretty late.

>speakers
1925. Not too bad.

>headphones
Technically 1910, but the kind she was wearing would trace back to 1958. Also late.

It's also notable that they seem to be pretty advanced electronically (Twi's basement computer, the headphones, possilby the arcade), but are still in the 1890s with most of everything else.

>>26001351
>call it "removing kebab"
Sounds a bit too /pol/ memey.

>>26001784
The Paraspr--I mean Glory Be (when did he change his screenname?) has Splinterwood (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/212694/splinterwood), a literal "ponies are nazis" fic with the Changeling Question getting its final solution.

I read it's only chapter so far and opted out due to how blunt the nazi expy stuff was. It'd be much cooler if it did things more subtlety and wasn't so overt--right down to Twi wearing an SA uniform in the cover art.

>>26009436
I have Spark Visions of Twilight (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/305096/spark-visions-of-twilight) on my RL but it's become one of those "oneshots turned multichapter" and those don't have great track records.

>>26009802
Make him the straight guy. Drop all the /k/ and "anon self insert" shit. Add boyhood crush on Rarity. And top it off with some little sister/mother stuff with Twilight.

>>26010151
If you're trapped in a clusterfuck you either reboot and retcon, or you have him cross a line (injuring/killing Rarity/Tw/Celestia, destroying Ponyville, etc.) that causes self reflection and a resolve to change. Kinda cliche, which is why the reboot's really the best option.

>>26010190
Added some comments. A couple of the sentences seemed a little off, but otherwise it had a nice SoL feel while segueing into the opening mystery.

>>25988275
>How?
Why, to find out, you only need to take a look at his blog posts where he chronicled the injustices he suffered at the hands of the mods, and which contain his further explanations and arguments in the comments--
oh wait, he just went and deleted all 170 of his blog posts as well.
BRILLIANT MOVE

I really like the guy, but mass deletion just borders on the other side of the childish.

I'VE MADE IT TO CHAPTER 52 of diaries of a madman.

It's pretty good I guess.

>>26012925
it took 400000 words to come to that conclusion?

I'll just leave this here in case anyone hasn't read it.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/131002/the-wheel-and-the-butterfly-a-dan-x-pinkie-pie-saga

Surprisingly funny and well written. Feels like a bunch of Dan Vs episodes, though it starts to go down the shitter in the later arcs.

>>26012957
Yes, I spent most of the fic deciding if it was actually decent enough to compare to real literatute. After reading 52 chapters of the shit, and a healthy purge via Hemingway, I can say it's definitely "upper tier young adult novel if you removed the sex".

>>26012999
>if you removed the sex".
itd also be significantly shorter..

>>26012925
The other madman who actually touched that turd here.
I strongly disagree.

>>26013752
Its average by horsewords standards. By HiE standards its practically top tier.

That's not to say its a great piece of fiction, but rather that everything similar is a giant steaming pile of faeces

>>26011819
>Frushing

I thought of frush, like the sound effect.

>Grossly

Grossly as noticeably. Any good words to replace it with?

Two One-Punch Man crossovers in the front page.

I got a feeling a new fad was born.

>>26014225

Just another autistic crossover.

Old autism in a new bottle.

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I'm actually kind of glad people use their Pony Creator OCs as profile images, because it means I'm never going to read anything they publish.

>>26014497
>people use their Pony Creator OCs as profile images
Why do people do this? There is no practical reason for it at all. They're just ugly even if you know how to make a good-looking OC, it's not unique because a whole bunch of people do it, it obviously has a stigma attached to it since people like to write their pony/fur-sonas in shitty self-appeal fics. Even if you are a complete hack who writes that kind of thing, you're only shooting yourself in the foot by doing this. Same with making the name of your Mary Sue the same as your username. You'd think they'd have caught on by now.

Does it matter the time and day of the week you update a fic? I'm starting to think Saturday mornings aren't exactly ideal.

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>>26014564
>hating on OCs
Original Character Cronut Iron

But honestly, I think this works great. It's like being able to tell which animals are poisonous because of their strong colours. It's nature's warning sign.
People are never going to catch on, or stop doing it, because it's so low-effort, so cheap and easy, and so prevalent that it's unavoidable these days.
>tfw I remember my early fandom OC

Did you know that the guy who makes the generator make cash off it now? It's out for Android for 1$, and people have bought it 10 000 - 50 000 times by now.

>>26014605
I'm not hating on OC's. In fact I'm writing an AU fic where canon characters are actually a rarity. But the least you can do is pay a budding furry artist on DeviantArt a pittance or rip something from Derpibooru.

>http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/
>"Guide to batpones"

Any grey OC in published or in the writing fics that isn't an edge lord?

Did anyone ever do that in Fimfic?

>>26014719
Define "edge lord".

>>26014497
>>26014715

Georg is actually a pretty good writer. The Travelling Tutor series handles romance really well, in a slow and believable fashion, and the Nocturne Saga has some interesting worldbuilding. And most of what he's written is pretty good comedy.

He's definitely in the top 5% of writers on the site.

>>26014775
Ok, Georg.

>>26014775
>Georg
with a name like that I can only assume hes some kind of filthy foreigner who only has a weak grasp on the english language. So I fully expect that his writing is going to be some mangled, andre tier, google translated clusterfuck

>>26014605
>Did you know that the guy who makes the generator make cash off it now? It's out for Android for 1$, and people have bought it 10 000 - 50 000 times by now.
I want to cash in on autism too. who wants to help make a knockoff pony creator in which the abominations face to the right?

>>26015763
I have legitimately had the idea to put out a multiple choice text adventure that's about generic magical ponies, and sell it for a dollar.

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Hello friends

>non horse words related Let's Play bullshit POSTAL 2 Paradise Lost. It's pretty funny actually.

I think that El Niño shit is happening. It's loud as fuck and I can't record shit.

Aw well, I did manage to get another bleedin story done.

Later today.

>>26014592
Weekdays, between 6-9 pm EST seem to be the most appropriate times.

>>26009802
Something that hasn't been told already:
Spike is Twilight's anchor, her confidant. When Twilight is depressed or feels betrayed, she goes to him nine out of ten times. This is why he is so mature-- he has grown used to always being there for Twilight, no mater what, like she is for him. They are both childish in some ways, but neither in the same as the other-- their childish and mature facets are completely diferent, because they compliment each other that much.
One could argue that Twilight feels more love for Spike than she does for Shining, even.

>>26016520
>I did manage to get another bleedin story done.
But you just said you couldn't record shit.

>>26016568
its probably for the best that bleedins recordings are washed out by white noise and static.

not being able to hear the words can only be an improvement

>>26016568
I was planning to do a bunch of stories. But I managed to do one before it started raining.

>>26014106
I strongly disagree.
It's bad by fanfiction standards, awful by any other standard.

>>26016627
Whats with all the hate?

>>26016671
Yes, keep pretending it's a new thing, bleedin.

>>26016651
you must not read much fanfiction

>>26016671
the only person in this world with any interest in bleedinfics is bleedin. because only bleedin thinks that bleedinfics arent a complete waste of time, space and pixels, bleedin.

>>26016705
>you must not read much fanfiction
Yes, I'm sure that's why I've been visiting this thread regularly for this long.

>>26016705
>>26016671
So what? there are worse fics out there.

Again, why the hate?

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>>26016768
>there are worse fics out there.

>>26016790
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/79218/nightmare-stars-revenge

http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=category&user=48725

>>26016768
hitler wasnt so bad. there were worse guys out there
Again, why the hate?

>>26016839
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/305889/forniphilia
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/303226/vile-game
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/301747/spike-and-the-celestia-butthole

And these are just the last three stories you've published.

>>26016869
>spike-and-the-celestia-butthole
I still repent from making that suggestion.

>>26016869
>you published

wtf

>>26016947
Only you write in this retarded way, you dumb fuck.

>>26016954
>Implying

https://youtu.be/0raOYQ2ple8
Under a Rock by BleedingEquine

Seriously, if he would just focus on an idea, he might write something good.

>>26017115
>if he would just focus on an idea, he might write something good.
But his ideas are just as bad.

>>26017134
how is that?

>>26017145
I'm really not willing to waste my time talking about your works AGAIN.

>>26017161
All these implications.

>>26017170
Whatever, bleedin.

>>26017198
I'm not bleedin. Stop calling me bleedin.

>>26017207
Come on, dude, fixing your shitty writing style for just two posts won't convince anyone. Maybe next time.

>>26016520
>I think that El Niño shit is happening
Just wait, Trump will solve it. With a wall.

>>26016768
That doesn't make it any better. Getting my arm cut off is probably worse than losing just the hand, but the first doesn't make the second any less shit.
But one quality (in a negative sense that is), I find in Bleedin's work is that it just leaves me with nothing. I used to do riffs, I host awful movie nights for my chums, and I do seek out awful media because I usually think it's fucking funny. There's several stories out there that might be worse than what Bleedin writes, but at least they leave me with unintended amusement if nothing else. Bleedin, in the few stories I've read, actually fails in making his stories even accidentally funny or meaningful. They're just a waste of time to read.

>>26016970
>Imbleedin

>>25988277
I. need. those.
Please.

>>26017353
Go to FiMfic Archive and download the files.

My dad wants to understand ponies. He took my FOE books and read those. What can I get him to read that isnt about some sex deprived lesbian? He has a kindle so I can give him whatever.

>>26018410
How about you tell him to watch the fucking show?

>>26018410
Well, it seems your dad already has bad taste, so show him whatever. :^)

>>26018410
>ITT: Things that never happened.

>>26018486
Lol, if you say so. He read the first book, even 20.5, and his only comment was 'I think this was written by a fat bull dyke.'
I loved my dad that day.

>>26018441
He cant technology and doesnt TV. I dont live at home so I cant show him it.

>>26018447
I want to show him something that is not shit, but idk what.

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>>26018532
>I loved my dad that day.
How can you not love a man whose wit is as sharp as your dad's?

>>26018532
'k, I'll bite.
What kind of stories does your dad like? Favorite movies, tv series, books, etc?

>>26018568
He likes adventure, action, and sci fi. He would read lord of the rings to us as kids.

I was thinking project sunflower maybe? or Stardust?

>>26018532
Sounds fake as fuck.

>>26018930
I mean... you can think that. I cant change your mind. I'm meeting up with him in like 3 min, so I guess I'll give him Stardust.

>>26019042
Report back once he read it.

>>26018613
Guess I might be too late posting this but oh well.

Stardust is reasonable. Sunflower is not written that well IMO.

If he likes LOTR you could give him Dangerous Business.
If he likes harder sci-fi you can do DOWAS (though the story there isn't complete, the sequel is still ongoing).
Pirene is pretty good but maybe a little more like "young adult" fiction than anything else.
Harmony Theory is good on the action but also unfinished.

You can basically give him anything on the Adventure and Sci-Fi categories on the starter kit (http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png), though Friendship is Optimal and Transistance are more SoL-scifi than adventure-scifi. I'd also add The Wind Thief, which is CiG's Skyrim crossover.

Willing to do a fiction without commission or pay.

Just want someone to tell me what they think of it afterword.

Please don't make it a retarded premise.

Thanks.

>>26020033
Ponies dealing with the aftermath of a natural disaster.

>>26020077
I'll try my best.

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>>26020115
Godspeed, Anon.

>>26018410
>Not about a sex-deprived lesbian

But it is Anon.

pump

>>26020011
>DOWAS
Whats this short for?

>>26019695
Will do.

I gave him the following.
Second half of Foe
Stardust + sequel
Sunflower
Project Horizons I havent finished this myself but the first few chapters have been good. I know it has bad a bad rep
Exchange
University days
Of lilies and chestnuts
Daring do and the jungle of terrors
past sins ^:)

In that order.

We shall see what he thinks.

>>26021376
Days of Wasp and Spider

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>>26021376
>Project Horizons I havent finished this myself but the first few chapters have been good. I know it has bad a bad rep
NO NO NO NO NO
IT HAS A BAD REP BECAUSE IT GOES TO ABSOLUTE SHIT AFTER CHAPTER 30
PIC RELATED
ABORT
ABORT

>>26021609
Oh also it's longer than anything either of you will ever read.

>>26021630
could get him to read the chase.
I mean hes goading his father into reading autism wordified. So this is either a very roundabout way of coming out of the closet, or hes trying to prove hes an autist. The end goal, I'm assuming, is to ensure that his father never speaks to him again.

The chase would be perfect for that

>>26014185
Oh, I thought you meant "frush" as in "the frog of a horse's foot." Which is the definition Webster's gives for it. I've never heard of "frushing" and have no idea what it sounds like and given Webster's definition, it might not be a good idea to use it as a descriptive word.

>synonyms
Noticeably, apparently, obviously, glaringly, plainly, bluntly, arrantly.

>>26014592
I'd guess weekdays during the morning/early afternoon would be pretty bad due to school/work.

Saturday mornings would probably be good, so long as it's not a day when a new episode airs.

>>26016671
A combination of bad fanfics + constantly posting in the thread and yet not taking any of the advice that's given. Eventually, it turned hostile.

>>26017145
For the fiftieth time, he attempts to write about incredibly serious topics that would be difficult for even experienced writers to tackle. He doesn't have a good grasp of characterization due to never writing a story where the canon ponies would act normal, so his serious stories have bad characterization. Couple this with the focus on oneshots, even when many of these plots would require quite a bit more work in order to make sense, and you have bad fanfics.

He needs to focus on oneshot comedies and SoL and rewatch the show to get an understanding of good characterization and practice writing before he should write more serious plots.

>>26020077
>tfw there will never be a good multi-chapter with this premise
Storm (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/150/storm) got me addicted and now I can't get my fix.

>>26021609
>all those spikes
Wouldn't that act like a viking horn helmet and just be something easy to grab onto and yank during a fight?

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/123485/do-i-belong

oh god this is terrible. Its like staying sane fucked waiwai and the resulting rape baby was infected by 400% more cawadoody.

and I only made it about 4 paragraphs into the first chapter

Is there a proper term for a female griffon? I have a group of five female characters, four ponies and a griffon, and referring to them as "four mares and a griffon" sounds odd.

>>26021376
>+ sequel
This may be a mistake. The sequel isn't nearly as good as the original.

If you really want scifi horse action, go with DOWAS.

>>26023143
Gentlemanverse uses "tiercel" for males but I forget what it uses for females.

IRL, "tiercel" is a male falcon. So I looked up the name for female falcons:
>The female peregrine falcon is properly called a falcon, and the male—which, in common with most species of raptors, is smaller than the female—is known as a tiercel.
So probably not that helpful for you

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>>26023537
>The female peregrine falcon is properly called a falcon, and the male—which, in common with most species of raptors, is smaller than the female—is known as a tiercel.

griffon porn attached. this is how gilda was made, which explains so much abpout her

Has anyone done a Thomas Hobbes in Equestria fic?

>>26023143
Not really. There's a tradition for considering wingless griffons to be male, and those are called keythongs or alces, though it's not a universal tradition. There doesn't seem to be any proper name for females. Furthermore, there's no name for specifically female eagles, and lioness/griffoness might sound awkward, though you could use it.
Or you could just call her a hen.

>>26024676
That sounds absolutely autistic.

>>26023143
The handful of fics that I can recall even bringing the subject up went with hens.

So I guess thats the autistic fanon term to use. ymmv

>>26023143
Just go with Gryphonne if you want.

>>26025066

'Hen' is terribad for a griffon. For god's sake, something, anything else!

>>26025485
I guess its the whole 'their top half is a bird' thing. obviously the pussy part is what everyone should be focused on

>>26025066
>hen
That's terrible desu. She ain't a burg butt. I'd use that as a derogatory term for a female gryphon

>>26023143
Clearly the proper term is
Michelle creber

lion- lioness
tiger- tigress
gryphon- gryphoness?
nah that would make too much sense

>>26022648
>Wouldn't that act like a viking horn helmet and just be something easy to grab onto and yank during a fight?
No, because they're actually blades.

>>26022564
>the chase
>long
>compared to project horizons

>>26026227
*griffon
do you even watch the show you fucking scum

>>26026304
Have you ever heard the term "Halfswording"

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>>26026311
uhh wat?


>>26026348
>Halfswording
sounds kinky

>>26026348
You can't halfsword a blade that's attached to an enemy's armor, especially if it's this short.

>>26026376
Actually Project Horizons has over 1.7 million words and Somber is just too lazy to upload, but yeah, the Chase is a bit longer.

>>26024202
Daily reminder that falcons are literally the best car ever made and if you've never been in one you should just kill yourself.

>>26026401
It doesn't matter that it's a blade, you can still grab it. I'm not implying I would fucking half sword with the niggers armor you triple nigger

>>26026622
With what? A hoof?
Even if you grabbed it, you couldn't yank on it without cutting yourself, you quadruple nigger.

>>26026376
>sounds kinky
OH IT IS
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vi757-7XD94

>>26026635
Hey man, I don't know what kinda stories you fags are reading. Also, you can with a strong enough grip. An actual technique in armored sword fighting is grabbing your opponents blade and fucking stabbing them, you quadruple aqua niggrr.

>>26026651
Ponies don't have hands, you quintuple nigger.

>>26026659
Then how do they use door knobs or open doors?:^)

>>26026746
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKOI_lVDPpw
Magic hooves :^)

>>26026304
You can still grab on to it or hit/hook it with something. Large spikes or blades on armour is usually a sign of horrible design.

>>26026348
To be fair, halfswording has nothing to do with grabbing anything that isn't your own sword. You're applying terms that aren't even really related.

>>26027229
>You can still grab on to it
And cut yourself.
>or hit
And do nothing.
>/hook it with something
What do you mean?

Not to mention the character in question is actually a berserker who can come back to life even after being disintegrated.

>>26027245
>berserker
oh yes. the straight edge berserker monk with the disciplined mind and an aversion to drugs which actually makes him about as far from a berserker as possible.

>>26027245
>What do you mean?
Like, put a hook on something, wrap the hook around the blade, and yank on it to drag the pony's head around.

>>26027600
I'm sure wrapping a metal fucking hook around some warlord's pointy armor decoration in hopes that it won't slide off is much more effective than just hooking him straight in his face or doing literally anything else instead

>>26027490
Uh, no. She is fucking crazy.

>>26027490
I recall that discussion and applaud your reference, but can't help but wonder in what way that particular idea you have mentioned related in any way to the works of Somber, the author of Project Horizons.

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>>26027245
>And cut yourself.
That's not a given. You're not going to cut yourself merely by holding a blade. You can, in fact, hold it in a pretty tight grip without drawing blood. If you're wearing gloves or gauntlets, it's even easier.
Blades do not cut just because they're touching your skin, they cut when force is applied, specifically along the way you're cutting. You can test this by going into your kitchen right now, finding your sharpest knife, and holding onto just the blade. Don't be afraid to hold a tight grip. The only way that's going to really cut you is if you yank/thrust with the handle, and apply force along the surface of the cut.
Even if you cut yourself, it might in a life and death situation be preferable to cut your hands and win than the alternative.

And here I was hoping I was going to get through this without mentioning halfswording, but it's already been mentioned, and it's a decent example.
This picture is from the Codex Wallerstein, which is made up of 15th-century Fechtbücher, essentially medieval German martial arts manuals. Notice how they're both holding on to the blade? There's nothing inherently dangerous about holding one hand on your own blade, it was in fact a well know way to fight, and if you're grappling with a single opponent you can grab onto his sword to prevent him from using it.
Obviously, ponies won't be able to do this, but creatures like Griffons easily could.

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>>26027743
This guy is holding on to a sharp sword with bare hands:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi757-7XD94

>And do nothing.
I'm going to put this in very easy terms, Anon. If you're wearing a helmet with a 20 cm blade on your forehead, that's a huge vulnerability. If, for example, I swing a sword and miss your head, but hit the blade, you're still going to have your head yanked to the side by the full impact of that strike, where any normal helmet would have been just fine. And if I strike from left to right and hit the side of the blade, my sword may slide down and end up in the corner between the helmet proper and the blade, meaning that none of the energy of that blow is going to be lost by my blade "deflecting" off your helmet and sliding to the side. It's a terrible, terrible design.

>What do you mean?
Hooks are common weapons, especially as polearms. Most people don't know this, because movies don't think polearms and hooks are sexy, but that's the truth of the matter. If you're hit by any kind of bill hook that catches the blade on your forhead, then that person is able to significantly impair your movement. But since the blade is so prominent, you can hook it in a large manner of ways with many different weapons.

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>>26027756
>Not to mention the character bla bla bla bla bla
I don't care. I really don't. All I'm saying is that this is an absolutely retarded armour design. And that's fine, it's okay to be stupid. If you're doing stylized high fantasy, sword & sorcery pulp, or any kind of setting where exaggeration and impractical designs are the norm, it's okay to have them. But you need to be aware that there's a difference between what's actually good, and what's appropriate in a stylized setting. And you really shouldn't believe that this thing is actually good, when it's in fact dreadful.

>>26027774
Why is functional armor so sexy?

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>>26027813
Armour is (nearly) always sexy, functional or not.
That one in particular is the field armour of Henry VIII which might explain the size, but it's believed to have seen some use in siege of Boulogne, where Henry was personally present. But that's rather gentle use, as far as armour goes.

Here's an Italian 16th-century armour. Henry's armour was also from Italy, but the exact origin is unknown.

>>26027743
Stopped reading after the second sentence, because hooves are not hands and they grab things differently.

>>26027774
>I don't care. I really don't. All I'm saying is that this is an absolutely retarded armour design. And that's fine, it's okay to be stupid. If you're doing stylized high fantasy, sword & sorcery pulp, or any kind of setting where exaggeration and impractical designs are the norm, it's okay to have them.

It's almost like she's a raider warlord, who are prominent for wearing overstylized, customized armour designed to intimidate opponents.

>>26027899
Didn't they already use chainmail under the armor in that time, even if the armor was plate?
And I'll have to disagree to some extent. Morrowind's armor, for example, is extremely sexy even when it isn't that functional, but Oblivion has blandish armor and Skyrim just took the edge up to a hundred and eleven and ruined it all.
>>26028006
Will have to agree with this. Blackbeard would make powder charges explode in his fucking beard to intimidate people, for god's sake.

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>>26027986
Fine. If you don't want to have things explained to you, I can't make you.

>>26028006
And that's fine. It really is. I have no issues with some pony in some FoE spinoff using stylized armour.
But it seemed like this Anon truly believed that having a big blade on your helmet is actually a good idea, and that's what I was trying to disprove with my posts.
I mean, I think the parade armour of Ferdinand II is a thing of beauty, and I'd love to see armour like this in some settings, but I won't even try to argue that that the thing on his burgonet is practical. I was just trying to clear up some apparent misconceptions.

>>26028231
>Fine. If you don't want to have things explained to you, I can't make you.
I'm just not interested in armour enough to listen to some armourfag ranting about it for 3000 words.

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>>26028051
>>26028051
Always is a bad word to use when approaching history. But yes, you would generally see mail used in combination with the iconic suit of armour. Though what I've posted in this thread is so late armour that the use of mail was in significant decline by this period in time. Here's a reconstruction of a Yorkish suit of armour from 1485, the earliest I've posted so far. You'd still see lots of mail in eastern Europe until the 17th century.

>Morrowind
If only you knew how big a TES fan I am, Anon.
That said, I don't see how you're disagreeing with me.

>>26028246
No one is forcing you to read.

>>26028231
>But it seemed like this Anon truly believed that having a big blade on your helmet is actually a good idea
No I didn't, I did not say anything like that. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm >>26028006

>but I won't even try to argue that that the thing on his burgonet is practical
Maybe because the purpose of parade armour is to look good and not be practical. Nobody would argue it's practical.

>>26028264
No one is forcing you to write 8 posts about it and forcing your interests into a barely related discussion.

>>26027229
>>26027245
>>26027490
>>26027600
>>26027614
>>26027670
>>26027694
>>26027743
>>26027756
>>26027774
>>26027899
>>26028006
>>26028231
>>26028246
>>26028251
>>26028264
>>26028274
>>26028290

Wonderful discussion! It's not like we're writing about a world where the king species doesn't have any kind of hands or fingers, right?

>>26028410
Person not actually reading the discussion detected.

>>26028427
I've read all of it, trust me. None of the counter techniques mentioned is applicable to ponies, and the only good point is that the edges on the armor would hook on weapon that hit it.

That said, any portruding edge on armor is mostly useless and dumb.

>>26028451
>None of the counter techniques mentioned is applicable to ponies
Oh yeah, that's what I've been pointing out all this time as well.

>>26028274
>No I didn't
I know, but I was replying to >>26027245
That's also why I said "this Anon", and not "you".

>Nobody would argue it's practical.
You missed my point, but fair enough. I might have worded it poorly.
The point was that I don't think that things have to be practical to be in a setting, or that you can have characters or cultures using fanciful arms and armour. In fact, that's often cool as shit. Especially so in a setting where it's going to be harder to draw on human parallels due to differences in physical shape. Again, I just wanted to show why having that cool blade on your forehead isn't actually a good idea.
Maybe you could use that if you ever write about anyone wearing armour. Have some noble in overly ornate and impractical armour find out that he's not actually as safe as he thought he was.

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>>26028504
I think you misunderstood me. Pic related.

>>26028567
Oh well, in that case this all seems to be a big misunderstanding, doesn't it? I guess that happens.

>>26028451
If a pony can use a spear, it can use a hook. But then again it's sort of stupid that they use spears in the first place. I think you just have to determine some level of proficiency with hooves that you think is reasonable, and try to be consistent with that when you're writing.
This is what we get for trying to make something serious out of a source that doesn't try to be.
As always, the best advice when it comes to writing ponies fighting is always "Don't".

>>26028845
>Use a hook

y tho

A spear, or ideally a sword, can already grapple on the edges and topple the armor, leading possibly to pieces falling, or even worse, injuries due to the force involved.

Not to mention the numerous holes in the armor, leaving critical parts such as the legs, neck and face exposed.

>>26028845
>As always, the best advice when it comes to writing ponies fighting is always "Don't".
Or make it an unarmed fight.

>>26028883
>y tho
Because hooks are cool. Also they're historically very common.
And who knows, maybe they seem exotic and new to some readers. If some foreign ruler visits Equestria, it might be nice to describe his bodyguard as having some sort of hooked bill and armour inspired by Persian barding. It's always nice to "visually" set things apart, especially if you really want to enforce the feeling that these guys are strangers.

Swords and spears don't grapple as well as hooks. Plus, why would a horse have a sword? Seeing it in a story is a instant turnoff, especially if he's holding it in his hooves.

>>26028896
Maybe. But ponies have always seemed kind of clumsy to me, at least in the way they're built. I guess they could kick well with their hindlegs, which would make fighting into some kind of strange dance where they have their backs turned to each other.
Or else it's some kind of wrestling with their small front hooves.

Awkward pony fighting seems like it would be most at home in a comedy, if you could make that work in a non-visual way.

>>26028896
Ponies are always unarmed.

>>26029057
Ha!

>>26029032
>But ponies have always seemed kind of clumsy to me, at least in the way they're built.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFjEintbDXc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRiPItZaue4
It's just an example off the top of my head, but ponies are agile enough for some cool fighting.

>>26029230
But, at least in that first video, Octavia is essentially moving like a human. Any time Octavia fights in that video, she's on her hind legs moving like some human martial arts character. There's nothing "pony" about what she's doing, which is bad when you're writing about ponies.
When they actually fight in the show, there's some hindleg standing, but there's also times when they're on all fours.
https://youtu.be/boiXc3xjUJc?t=1969
It's also very goofy, but that's the point. I really can't take pony fights seriously.

I guess you could do unarmed fighting, I'm just not not a huge fan of the way it's done in those videos. But I guess the most important thing is just to find something that works in the story you're telling and staying consistent to that.

>>26029446
I was mostly pointing out the very beginning, but you can't say that the ponies in the show haven't proven they can support themselves on their hind hooves. (see: the dancer's at Coloratura's concert)
And, like I said, it's just the first example I could think of that shows how agile their bodies can be. I think things like bar fights can be done easily, but a real battle between earth ponies would look fucking ridiculous.

>>26029490
>dancer's
oh god what have i done

Sometimes it can be hard to tell which commenters genuinely like you, and which ones hate your guts.

>>26029490
Why not just use unicorns as shock infantry doing the fighting, and earth as support pones to garrison locations?

>>26030348
Let's not discuss pony warfare again.

>>26030348
Because you can just blast someone with a friendship beam instead.

>>26030377
But M6 goes super saiyan now instead.
You can explain it away as them not knowing how to use their new power, or set the action in the past or the future.

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I think Mythril retconned a character's name, but it still says "Juan the Janitor" in the Social Link Status at the end of every chapter. Why is this allowed?

>>26030475

>Juan the Janitor

Was the name supposed to alliterate? Does he not know how alliteration works? Or does he think Juan is pronounced "Jew-ann"? Or better yet, that "janitor" is pronounced "wan-it-or"?

Forgive my autism, but alliterative failures trigger the shit out of me.

>>26030524
>Was the name supposed to alliterate?
No, he's just making it clear that the janitor is Mexican.

>>26030524
You know, I've never really thought about it. I think he wanted "Juan the Janitor" to sound off and not fit in with the rest of the character names (because he's this mysterious guy that appears out of nowhere and seems to know everything that's going on), so it's possible he just didn't know how to pronounce Juan.

>>26030575
You mean Marexican, right?
Mythril's obsessed with horse puns.

>>26029538

Never show you're face in ponyfiction again!

>>26031039
Can I showe my dick?

>>26031144

Sure thing, Chaucer. Showe thees faggits thy dicke.

>>26030367
it has to be done every thread

I just finished a binge read of Background Pony.

I've scrolled past it for 3 years, someone hold me.

>>26030367
The alternative would be bumping endlessly, and who wants that?

Can't write anything good because it is too much work.

Can't write just whatever because it turns out terrible and/or a crackfic.

What can I do to fix this?

Can't make a decent fic because my brain is incapable of letting me do it.

Can't make a whatever fic because it turns out into shit or a crackfic. This is causing me not to write at all, since I'm stuck.

Any solution for this?

>>26033413
>Can't make a decent fic because my brain is incapable of letting me do it.
The only way of breaking your limitations is powering through them. Keep at it, keep writing, keep editing, keep rewriting and you're bound to improve.

>>26033430
I guess if you say it that way...

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/231897/frequency
lol wut. Saw this mentioned in the reddit fanfic rec thread as a sort of scifi thing, saw it was by the same guy as Audience of One (good Octavia/Luna shipfic), decided to read it.

It's simultaneously doing a scifi HiE thing, and shipping Vinyl Scratch with Flash fucking Sentry of all ponies. wtf.

>>26033733
>shipping shit ponies with shit ponies
Im surprisingly ok with this

>>26023143
Canonwise? No. Obscure fantasy novel-wise? Probably.

They're half lion, so you could go the cat route and call her a "griffoness."

>>26025066
"Hen" sounds like shit and is also a term used to describe a naggy housewife.

>>26026304
So what you're saying is, he's literally edgy.

>>26027245
>And cut yourself.
>what is chainmail
>what is a piece of metal glued to a horseshoe
>what is a hook
>what is a whip/chain
There's also the fact that hoofs are basically huge, tough toenails specifically designed for wear and tear.

>even after being disintegrated
I keep forgetting how absurdly bad PH is. Thank you for reminding me.

>>26027743
>he's holding the sword backwards and hitting the guy with the handle
I really want to know what kind of strategic benefit that has.

>>26030367
It's either that or people saying "bump" in various ways.

>>26033353
>>26033413
Come up with an idea and then let it fester in your head for a while. Run through the scenario, characters, possible scenes, etc. Essentially, build it up until you really want to write it.

>>26028567
This board needs ID's

>>26035036
Wait, why are people saying you can grab swords with hoofs? That's ridiculous. Gluing a sword to a horseshoe is even more ridiculous. The only ponies who should be able to use swords at all should be unicorns. Earth pones should just have horseshoes specialized for warfare.

>>26035113
>horseshoe mounted guns
Don't give them any ideas, damn it

>>26035159
Well Fallout: Equestria does have guns that are strapped to a pony's sides by a harness and fired with a mouth-operated trigger. I don't know how these things are supposed to be reloaded after a magazine or belt has been expended, and I certainly don't see how they're supposed to be aimed with any effectiveness, but at least there's some thought behind it.

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>>26035036
>I really want to know what kind of strategic benefit that has.
It essentially makes your sword into a makeshift hammer. The idea is that you're not going to get anywhere by striking with the blade, as any decent suit of armour will protect the wearer rather well against that. So instead you pummel your opponent with the pommel or the crossguard, which could be rather heavy, so that you can actually hurt your enemy. The general idea is then that you'd be able to hit your enemy to stagger him, and then grapple and likely kill him on the ground.
That's the idea, anyway. It's a bit difficult to be absolutely sure about a lot of things when it comes to medieval western martial arts. That's what the dude on the right here is going for. The dude on the left is halfswording, so that he can also grapple, and get his blade in somewhere vulnerable.
It's suspected to especially have been a thing in judicial duels.

>>26036238
>It essentially makes your sword into a makeshift hammer.
And that's only if you opt for using the hilt end in the first place. Halfswording also:
-Makes a sword more manoeuvrable in a tight space e.g. inside a house
-Allows more precision and manoeuvrability with the point of a sword for better placed stabbing
-Makes parrying easier
-Allows for better use of the crossguard as a hook/grapple tool

Seriously. Halfswording is the finest technique of the late middle ages. It only wasn't used earlier because shields were a lot more important.

How do you write a fanfic that isn't shit by /fft/ standards?

>>26036322
That's impossible

>>26033733
>good Octavia/Luna shipfic
Why did you never recommend this to anyone asking about well-written crackships?
Reading it RIGHT NOW

>>26035086
What? No, it doesn't. If you want everyone to be recognizable, you shouldn't be posting on 4chan in the first place.

Also I don't want anyone to know this thread is literally just me and like three other people.

>>26036322
You say you're one of us and that it's just a silly little thing you wrote in your spare time, while in reality you've been working on it for the last few months non-stop and hiring pre-readers to make sure everything is absolutely perfect.
We'll still point out a flaw or two, but we'll like it.

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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/183694/a-turnabout-in-kind

>it will never update again
>it will never even go on an official hiatus
>it will never even reach the first investigation

Why did you recommend this to me you faggots?

>>26036322
I'll just hand you version 0.1 of my Autism Tome.
http://pastebin.com/HPa6BPTt

>>26036322
git gud

>>26036735
>To tigers and gommunism

That now seems decent compared to some AU we're seeing on the front page right now.

>>26036735
>>Don't be dark for the sake of being dark
I'm kind of guilty of that desu, although people do seem to like what I'm doing so it can't be that bad a sin.

>>26036823
Saying that something is okay because the comments section on FimFiction likes it is like saying that child porn is great because all your pedo buddies really enjoy it.

>>26036835
This analogy is kind of implying that /fft/ hates pony fanfics imo. The comments section in my fic is actually quite barren in any case.

>>26036842
You know that you're literally the only person saying "/fft/", right?
We know that it's you, Decanus_Alexus, you fucking newfag.

>>26036858
Oh, and I also know that the only person who comments on your fic is this clown:
http://amalgamzaku.deviantart.com/

>>26036858
Hey, I'm just new to the general, not the board. I've been writing fics for some few years now. So what's the shorthand for this general if not /fft/? I do apologize for my blatant newfaggotry.

>>26036870
>StormFront SS
Wait, so is he or is he not aware that he's naming his OC after a neo-nazi v-bulletin board and the armed wing of the Nazi Party? I didn't look too closely at the guy's file; I only looked once to see what nationality he was since his English isn't the greatest.

>>26036899
He's Canadian.

>>26036920
French-Canadian, as in from Quebec. That would probably make French his first language.

>>26036823
>desu
Desu don't.

I have to burst your bubble here, but disregard your comment section. It's nearly always worthless. And especially in your case, where it's just one guy who like your story.
Did you read the part of the Autism Tome where I mentioned that story where a guy stabbed Celestia and it had no consequences? That wasn't even nearly the most offensively stupid part of that story, yet I can't ever remember anyone commenting on any of his chapters and calling them bad.
In fact, he had a significantly more active comment section than what you have, and had several dedicated fans who told him how much they enjoyed it, not just one guy like you have. It's better for you if you stop excusing possible shortcomings in a story with "the commenters like it". FimFiction likes anything.
The sooner you realize you have to aim higher than FimFic comment approval the sooner you're going to get better.

When it comes to the sake of doing dark just for the sake of dark, just don't do it. If you like darkness and gore like some 14 year old edgelord, do your best to make it meaningful.
Just because I'm curious, give me an example of what you mean by dark for the sake of dark.

>>26036872
We tend to not call this a general or at least we didn't, because we love lies, and we don't often use a shorthand term. There is one, and it's absolutely in use but it's a mystery and you have to discover it for yourself.

>>26036956
I was referring more to my fav-to-view and upvote-to-downvote ratios than my comment section. Now, I don't consider those top-tier litmus tests for quality either, but I have literally nothing else except for my own judgement, which thinks it's fine for its niche target audience.

And I have been doing my best to make it meaningful, and it doesn't even appear that often. The fic is, in fact, very dialogue-heavy and character-driven, with some worldbuilding also included.

>>26036956
Right, I forgot.
>give me an example of what you mean by dark for the sake of dark
What I meant was there is a slight case of author appeal with the inclusion of gore and darkness, but again, I try hard to make it work.

>>26036984
You have less than 200 total views, despite writing it since early November and having had it posted here. Your story is completely unknown. It's not even "literally who"-tier.
You also don't have enough votes either way to even make them visible. You have nearly nothing to judge from, and even if you did, vote ratio means very little. Just ask anyone here, the number of votes a story has or the ratio of votes is totally irrelevant to the quality of the story. It's almost difficult to get a negative vote ratio.

Get someone competent to read it, if you actually care to find out how good your story is. Get a prereader, an editor, almost anyone. Just get someone who's willing to read all or parts of it, and get them to give honest feedback.

>The fic is, in fact...
Sure, those are words.
So what you meant is that you have an inclination towards it, but you claim you're concious about it and that you make it work. If it works, how is it being dark for the sake of dark? If it works, it surely serves some purpose in the story beyond its own existence.

>>26037064
I wanted to hold off on holding it up for criticism until it was completely finished (it's not even halfway finished) so it could be judged as a cohesive whole. Yes, I know that vote ratio means fuck all, but again, I have nothing else.

>So what you meant is that you have an inclination towards it
Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I probably should've clarified that sooner since I was clearly giving off the wrong impression. It's meant to serve the story as part of the general theme and setting.

>>26036998
>I try hard to make it work
try harder. or dont try at all.

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why do people who engage in self insertions feel the need to lie about it?

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>>26038007
Not sure if that's better or worse than the ones that don't even bother to try

>>26038170
I'd actually prefer them to be honest about it. Sure, I'm not going to read either, but it's easier to spot them when they're open about it.
Plus, you could potentially do something fun if you really expand on the role of yourself as both author and protagonist. Naturally, there's never going to be anything good coming out of it, but there might be some potential in there.

>>26038007
They think people are gullible and won't catch the obvious clues. They also think their fic will hold up to scrutiny as long as it isn't stuck with the dreaded stigma that goes with the label of self-insert, which is missing the point.

And why do so many HiE fics start their MC in Everfree? Is that because it's close to Ponyville? Well why not just start in Ponyville instead of wasting everyone's time?

>>26038301
>And why do so many HiE fics start their MC in Everfree?
For the same reason Twilight has this weird compulsion to test dangerous magic in the Everfree without saying anyone.
Because it's the default origin of weird shit. Just say "I dunno wild magic lol" and you are set.
My headcannon is that the Everfree is another realm, like Tartarus and the weird alicorn place, only anchored to a loose location, only the place is so big that no one notices that today is five meters to the right. That'd also be the reason of it never expanding.

>>26038301
>And why do so many HiE fics start their MC in Everfree?
It's tradition, and it's easy. It's how a HiE "should" start, so that's how they start.
It really is the place to put anything that you can't really be assed to explain how it got there in the first place.