/repgen/ - Repression General

First for boy-armor repression!

First for Stop failing to repress or killing yourselves

I used to think that I didn't really experience bodily dysphoria, facial hair aside, but that I just really wanted to have a woman's body and didn't care about this one. Sometimes when I walk down the street I feel like I'm just pretending to be human. Like I'm an awkward thing wearing a skin suit, trying to make the right motions, all of my muscles clenched uncomfortably. Is that it? How do I know if I actually do experience dysphoria? I've intensely wanted to be a woman for a very long time and often get depressed that I'm not one but I don't hate touching my dick or whatever.

>>8511464
>I feel like I'm just pretending to be human. Like I'm an trying to make the right motions, all of my muscles clenched uncomfortably. Is that it?

Please tell me this is NOT dysphoria...this hits too close to home. I just wrapped uo my gender issues with my friends/family and decided to repress...
I-i'll never be Lina on the outside, I don't want to throw everything aside just to get HRT...
I-i'm t-totally o-ok wearing a b-boy-armor...

>>8511485
I experience this too tbqh. I do honestly think it has something to do with dysphoria.

https://discord.gg/FcdsEg9

Join our server

>>8511572
Did someone make a /repgen/ discord?

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>>8511219
>Deciding not to transition doesn't makes me any less of a girl desu, mentally at least.
you can be a non conforming feminine male

>>8511581
No its agp blanchardism

>>8511572
>>8511591
Get your faggot shit out of here.

>>8511464
>>8511485
Dissociation is a common symptom of gender identity disorder.

>>8511586
>muh fluids nonconformitay

There are only two genders.

What's wrong with being a hun?

>>8511413
honestly complete loss of consciousness is a gift
any hell or heaven would be never ending boredom because you would have done everything after so much time passes
its just a question of if you hold on to your hope and when you'll let go
>>8511586
>get massively bullied by family, co-workers, and anyone you would hope to be friends with
feminine males are not allowed to exist

>>8511624
Feminine male here, none of that shit happens to me. I only get an occasional "Yes ma'am" when I'm clean shaven.

>>8511633
feminine male here
all that shit happens to me

I just want to leave this Earth and never have to think about anything again.
I don't have the guts to risk HRT but I don't want to grow old as a man.
All I do is waste my time on 4chins or sit around for an hour or two with friends.

Woooo, just had my 21st birthday beer. Should I stick with therapy or say fuck it all and do alcoholism meme? I know I'll be happy drunk.

>>8511683
Take your medicine young lady.

>>8511683
I'm 18 and I have already said fuck it all, don't do it.
It isn't a fun choice to make, I'd kill to get on HRT if I'd pass.

>>8511686
Haven't even started.
>>8511690
I never pass either. I was an alcoholic before I turned 21, just took a break to try and figure out where I am. My therapist said she would get me on hrt, but I won't be able to afford another session for like a month.

>>8511612
A feminine male is still male, dummy

>>8511709
Oh right, please just stay off the drink still though, use the money to save up for another session with the therapist instead of fucking your liver up more.

>>8511633
>>8511639
I wear basic girls clothing and no one says anything because it looks like boys clothing
As long as your not a total flamer, every one will treat you fine
But this depends on where you live and have to be smart about covering up when necessary

>>8511718
and ice cream with shit in it is still ice cream, but you wouldn't want to eat it

>>8511766
You shouldn't be doing analogies w your weak grasp of English comprehension

>>8511775
oooh, sick burn

but you didn't really address the argument did you?

>>8511782
you need to have an argument to be addressed first

Fellow repressors, how do you repress GD again?

So "Pandora box" can be closed?

>>8511745
What's the point?
>>8511783
>>8511791
What's your issue? They pass better then i ever will. Still have to project your insecurities to repress? Some man you are.

>>8511783
I think I'd take looking like that over looking as I do now.

>>8511831
Can't take 4ch too seriously and take what you find helpful and ignore the rest

>>8511809
Seeing good and young passers is tough

I really want to repress this shit again. I'm a nobleman for Gods sake

>>8511858
a lady in waiting*

>>8511831
I don't know, I just don't want to drag you down with me.
But isn't it worth a try if you're just gonna kill yourself slowly and painfully otherwise?
>>8511809
/passgen/ makes me feel a little better for a bit. crazy hons...

>>8511894
Better than inside if I can manage everyday life.

>>8508751
>tfw this is me except I'm 20
>knew about trans stuff at 15/16 but didn't think it was a big deal
>knew at 18 I was prob trans but figured I could ignore it
>can't ignore it anymore and know I wouldn't pass
>grades are getting worse and i haven't even signed up for college again and it's past deadline
>parents will be super angry, planning on just kill myself before that
>hate everything about myself so suicide is a good solution

>>8511894
yes, I can't understand people

>have hobbies
>enjoy things
>have motivation to do things
>want to do things and improve themselves


I don't think I'm a real person, and being like this just makes me want to die even more because I know I can never be happy or normal

>>8511927
Damn. I'm fucked than. I'm 26, I have everything to lose, I can't get myself to work. And dysphoria is worse every day. FML

>>8511952
I don't think there is any recovery either. Most people who reach that point kill themselves I guess?

I wish I could stop being a pussy and do it.

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Just take the skittle girla you'll look like me one day!

>>8511972
I'm roman catholic nobleman, both things are unacceptable. I will try exorcism perhaps?

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>>8511974
You look great girl!
Wanna skateboard d00d?

>>8511990
I will try everything that it is not a mortal sin.

>>8511990
How do you cope and how old are you?

>>8512010
auch. My life without it would be fucking awesome. I'm rich and important lol.

I think I'm just losing what bit of sanity I had left...
Repression isnt working anons, it only gets worse and worse.

>>8512015
For me neither, for religious and worldview reasons

>>8511922
Suicide is never a good option. Get help. Be happy.

>>8511922
I just want to take the skittles now, I'm breaking.
The only thing stopping me is the fact that I know I'll never pass or be accepted by family and anyone I trust.

>>8511882
It's what Lina describes and the word she uses. It's easier for us like this.

>>8512029
You can't get help for a problem with no solution. Being trans is a problem with no solution.

I know that I can never pass as female.
I know that I most likely would never be accepted. I know that no one would treat me normal, I'd get treated like a freak.

There is no possible way for me to live a happy life, I just sit in my room like a fucking loser and engage in escapism and soon hopefully I'll stop being a pussy and shoot myself.

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I thought it would be a good idea to mix alcohol with my antidepressand and some sleep pills so i could sleep faster

worst decision i ever made. luckily im alive but i feel fucking terrible, i'm drinking milk but i feel like i'll vomit it anytime soon. I don't want this, i remember taking a shower yesterday and i've noticed i lost lots of weight, my belly is now how i wanted it to be, i've still maintaned thicc features in legs and if it wasn't for all this body hair... i've also noticed i'm losing hair in my temples. I have long hair with some bangs so i i can cover my temples but to know i'm getting bald, i can't deal with this, i dont want to

still, its the worse idea ever to take hrt, i dont want to lose everything i have, i dont want to end up being a freak like those flamming lgbt activists, i just want a normal life ffs

i dont need medical help, i need to forget about this thoughts and live a normal life. please advice? anything to make me feel more comfortable so i can get better and go back to repress listening to music or playing games please

>>8511999
>>8512026
>Religious reasons
Where in the bible does it say you shouldn't transition?

>>8512052
Stop this back and forth. Please. Just read your previous posts. You DO need help. This is NOT working.

Honestly, look at the rest of the thread.. this one's for all of you: does it look like it is working? Get treatment. Go see a doctor. You're sick and you're refusing to get help and it hurts to see this. Please.

>>8512056
First and third both me. Baron and knight of Malta. I will not lose my honour for nothing. I'm actually thinking of monastic wows

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>>8512070
Sadly, this >>8512094

I feel like i'm doing a bad thing posting this kind of thing on /repgen/, a place already miserable by nature, but i don't want to make anyone feel worse. I want to SAVE someone so they don't end up like me, i know many here are starting to do or doing alcohol for some time and some people may even be thinking about it. I know i'm a hypocrite, but i really want to stop people from being miserable. But after i tell "don't do drugs" i don't know what to say, there's no treatment there is?

Thanks for everyone that worried about me on the last and in this thread, don't worry i'm not going to die after all i guess, and i'll probably don't do this shit again for a time as i always remember how fucking awful i feel. If i had fucked up the dosage i would not be here but "luckily" i was so drunk i didn't thought about taking more meds. I'm actually impressed about myself.

>>8512113
Thanks for you encouragment! I wish you the same, and will include you in prayer.

Omnibus sanctis ora pro nobis.

>>8512129
I wish I could just not drink or whatever but it just helps.
Being drunk is the only time I can just cry or forget about myself for a few hours.
If I was born a girl I'd never have these problems.
But honestly I'm glad you're alive anon. You're making me put more thought into my drinking honestly.

>>8511413
So I'm a 23 year old permaneet with a small chance at passing. I've repressed for years and honestly I think I'm going to end up killing myself in the coming years if I continue to live this way. Should I just say fuck it and come out to my parents in an attempt to salvage my life?

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Just give in girls. Do it! Be the pretty butterfly you all are on the inside like me!

>>8512357
bless your heart

>>8512357
I want to transition just to smite you /pol/tard

So in theory would my femboi cred be completely destroyed if I get ffs I'm really close to saving up for it but progesterone has me on a roller coaster of moods it's strangely addictive makes me feel numb at high doses. Like the only thing stopping me from ffs is the probability of being botched I don't wanna look more like shit lol that and haven't gotten laser or electrolysis yet. Thinking of switching back to bicca but complete scared that will fuck up the progress o have made. Voice is also pretty fucked too ugh why is dysphoria such shit.

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>>8512364
>>8512365
Girls you'll go from a 3/10 to a SOLLLLLID 9/10 like me

>>8512387
Didn't this person say they are like 1 month HRT? Why don't you post people that are 3 years HRT?

>>8512387
>>8512402
not even 1 month they said 2 weeks HRT

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>>8512402
>>8512412
Thats right girls you tell em!

>>8512418
then you post someone pre HRT come on now you're a pretty shitty troll at least post the people on HRT for years that still look like shit

>>8512424
I can't get onto the love is over archive and moe is shit or else id post some hons

tfw slept 14 hrs wasting the day and just want to go back to sleep

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>>8512155
Keep stronk, anon. I don't absolutely disagree with "cureanon", I think there's MUST BE A WAY out of this, we just can't find it. If the person NEEDS to take hrt to be at least more feminine and feel better with itself, do it. But if the person can cope with staying as a male and can repress without drugs, maybe it's the better choice to do.

>>8512205
I really know how you feel and i feel really sorry about you. Since i was like 16 i've been drinking (even before i "knew what was wrong with me") because i had depression. I don't want to say it "helps". It makes you forget, put the problem aside, but sometimes will end up making it worse. For me, everything went up as the years passed by: My depression, my situational awareness, and how much i drink.

If you someday try to stop, don't need go Cold turkey, that's a bad idea. Start slowly drinking less until you almost don't feel the difference anymore.

I'll take a walk at the park to see if i feel better, good luck to you all.

Out of curiousity i always thought this general was a meme general.

Like with no regulars. Were you guys always here?

I havent really paid attention to lgbt in a few months

>>8512494
I'm here everyday because I have no life and hate myself because I'll never be a girl. There are plenty of regulars.
>>8512486
I can relate with you, I started drinking when I was 16 because I felt depressed and alone, realised what was wrong with me, repressed, now I'm 18 and it just getting harder and harder to repress. I don't think I can get through a week without being drunk at least 4 of those days.
I used wanted an ordinary life...

Enjoy the walk, I hope you feel better.

>>8511024
>i nixed lots of alcohol with some meds and now im fucking dyin, i feel so fucking cold and weakb im going to try to sleep and hope i wake up


I hope you are ok ...

>>8512549
It's fine anon she survived, look here - >>8512052

>>8512567
Ah, good to know. and what was in all the deleted posts?


>>8512052
Glad that you are fine, You can at least get on Finasteride to stop balding and masculinization (it reduces your DHT).
And dont think about freak activists - most of them are cis women with nothing to do except hate putriearchy cause that's what their marxist professors put in their empty heads.

Most trans want to live a normal life like normal women (or men if f2m) same as you,

>>8512615
Eh. most of the deleted posts were just /pol/tards, nothing important as usual.

>>8512638
>tfw no /pol/tarb bf to turn into your subby gf by slipping mones into his food

>>8512653
tfw all the /pol/tards on /repgen/ are trolls. Or socially autistic in my case.
Just try befriend a troll and get in his pants.

Trannies are failed straight men.

Discuss

Must acquire gf to live vicorsely through

>>8512700
Gotta go with that olympic medal and shoot a blockbuster movie.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oFgg5ZdBY0

My final salvation is at hand
I will ween off hrt using the new method and I will acquire a gf and be free of this curse. I WILL CREATE MINI SPARTANS

>>8512734
What ya need ta do is have sex pinhead

>>8512734
Amy is that you?

>>8512734
Oh spartan is back, inb4 mini spartans are repressed mtfs like Amy.

>>8512734
>gf
i think finding someone who supports and likes you would be a really good idea

i think we're at our worst when alone

>>8512734
Make sure you wont relapse before you have mini Spartans. The last thing anyone needs is a tranny dad growing up.

>>8512734
Amy you choose spartan as your repressed identity. You're not manly as Marcus fenix or Dom santiago so that's a good sign you should take dem skittles :')

>>8512734
Seriously dont even think about children, you are immature and unstable as a child yourself.
Good luck with finding a gf.
>>8512766
True. But it might not solve the problems especially if you still have to pretend to be a man for her while hiding and suppressing your true self and your desires.

>>8512734
Have children Amy, screw their entire lives up by becoming a hon in 20 years and give me a good chuckle.

>>8512784
>>8512821
But how can I have value as a human being of I don't reproduce

>>8512833
Why trick a woman into having kids with you when you aren't even a man, Amy?
You're just ruining a lot of lives.

>>8512838
I WANT TO BE LIKE THE REST OF MY FAMILY

I'll never be a female

>>8512858
You'll never biologically be a female yeah but you are pretty much a girl in your head, Amy.
Just don't fuck up your future kids and become a hon, if you're certain you will never do that, have kids.

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>>8512821
>in 20 years
hahahaha very funny, Spartan cant last even 20 days without breaking down.

Once your girl awakens there is no way back, sad but true.

>>8512833
You are not some dumb cattle (despite refusing to use your brain sometimes). There is no value in stupid breeding. You have to be a GOOD PARENT most of all, if you want to bring a new human being into this world. And you have to sort yourself and your life out before even thinking about having children. That's some basics and should be obvious to anyone.

Besides that, you can be a human of value without making kids. But then again - how can you be of help to anyone if you are a mess yourself?

>>8512874
>But then again - how can you be of help to anyone if you are a mess yourself?


On a second thought I might be wrong here and too negative and too egoistic.
Go help other people, go do something good. Might lead you to solving your own issues too. And if you build character you might finally have to balls to transition.

>>8512864
If I cant breed
I'm a worthless human being

>>8512741
I just need a girl to fall in love with a be happy

>>8512874
Spartan is lost, she might as well give in if she can't survive a month without having a complete breakdown.
There has to be a way back though, I'm not going to be like this for life, someday I'll repress hard enough that I forget.

>>8512913
It doesent count I'm drunk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR38FaehPRQ

FIGHT HER

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>>8512913
>someday I'll repress hard enough
You dont believe it yourself.

>forget
Sure. Go be a man RIGHT NOW. Close this window. Go sort your life out, go study, go apply for a job, go clean your damn room. Leave this place and don't come back. Stop thinking about your tranny issues for at least a while. That's how you forget. See where you end in a month. See how it works. Just say you me "yes I will" and go.

>>8512938
Stop fucking up you're liver, HRT is just gonna make that worse on you, Amy.

>>8512950
Of course I hardly believe it myself, because it just gets worse everyday.
Closing 4chan though, I'm not sure I can really, my life is mostly fine, I guess my room could need a cleaning though...
It's late, I'll close this page when I'm tired and It isn't opening again until I get my shit together, I'll fucking block the page on myself and use a 100 character password and delete it.

>>8512941
This is a pretty accurate video of how I feel

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>>8512955
No booze?

>>8512941
I can't fight her forever, I just want to be her...
I'd take a needle in my eye if I could be a girl.

>>8513003
A little is okay but not getting hammered, you dont want to die of liver failure after all

>>8513007
Same tbqh

>>8512975
That's the spirit!
I have to admit I had quit coming here few times for almost a year but I cant resist coming back and get sucked in. This is the only place I can talk about all my problems. Even normie LGBT support sites arent doing it for me.

Only Catholicism is real

>>8513107
Cringe

>>8513107
are you from >>8511212

>>8513125
Ja wohl.

>>8513073
I'll try to quit but honestly, I've nowhere else to just vent about who I am, so I don't know.

I really need to remake my discord and not post on 4chan again


You guys are just confused lonely people with no direction. I do t want anything to do with guys

Isnthere repression discord?

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>>8513146
We are. We love you too and wish you the best. Hugs.

spoiler: tranny discords are bad and dont last

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>>8513156
No, someone came earlier and tried to lure is into a Blanchardism agp discord.

We should really make one. But the thread may die. We can let curefag in if he doesn't spam.

>>8513181
A discord could be useful, might water down all the trolls too...

>>8513193
Let's home someone make one i'm too autistic for it desu

Indeed some of us need serious help fighting this bitches inside.

>>8513199
hope*

>>8513202
if you treat her like shit she will make you feel like shit

>>8513199
Yeah exactly, I'm just as autistic, so let's just wait until someone else does.
>>8513202
I need serious help more than anyone
>tfw repressing /pol/tard

>>8513199
>>8513193
>>8513181

https://discord.gg/5DJKwmX

OK

>>8513216
Maybe I'll join tomorrow when I wake up

>>8513216
I'll join later hope it's not the same blanchard bait.

if it's not thank you

>>8513495
It isn't anon, it's just a legitimate discord for repressors.
Feel free to stop by.

>>8511413
This thread was really active a few days ago what happened? Did everyone transition or kill themselves?

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>>8513636
Actually most of the posts were people arguing with curefag. He probably got tired of trolling and repressors got used to him.

Also most of the people you could identify in the past threads are now transitioning or killing themselves.

>>8513652
>Also most of the people you could identify in the past threads are now transitioning or killing themselves.
oh :(

>>8513660
I feel good for them if they're transitioning and bad for them if they're trying to repress with drugs and doing bad things. But whatever they do, leaving this place is one of the most important things ever. You can "interact" with other people, relate to them, and i'll even admit you can even feel nice when you talk with someone and help/get help.

But nothing good comes from this board. I've been here long enough to know this.

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>>8513652 >>8513660
>transitioning or killing themselves.

we are ok, maybe some chit-chat moved to discord so there is less activity in here

>>8513668
Where should us Catholics go then :O

>>8513669
I mean there's less posters here now, one or two threads ago some repressors decided to start hrt and i don't see many drunk people here anymore.

>>8513684
To the church and repress your inner feelings with the holy words of our Great Lord and Savior

I'll be here for the next 20 years if this general still exists though, then im offing myself.
Don't leave me alone repressors <3

>>8513709
Always with you, even if that's sad for us <3

Don't off yourself please, i'm the only one allowed to do it.

>>8513709
>20 years
I adore your optimism. sadly I dont have that much in me

>>8513715
You better not be killing yourself ^_^
>>8513722
I hope you stick around to see everything fall apart here on Earth.

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My hrt order was denied. Good thing it makes me think about it more, i'm not ordering them again before thinking deep about it. I can still trick my parents so they don't kick me out. Drinking again because why not. won't fuck up this time

>Tfw on hrt and fighting womanly feelings as hard as a I can

it's so difficult

https://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines/comments/6k0x0a/so_alive_now_everything_we_do_in_life_has_a/


NO

NO NO no. NO!!

>>8514435
But you don't see all the non-transitioners who are happy and cis-acting after decades.

>>8514473
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfAuGSqpn_4

>>8514473
>>8514435
there was a really heartbreaking post about 'barely' passing and people being polite but feeling uncomfortable around you
I don't even want to link it, it's guaranteed to make you feel like shit and lose hope

>>8514484
No, link it!

>>8514484
Is this the one?

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/6j3drj/daunting_realizations_about_passing_hugboxing_and/

>>8514473
>you don't see all the non-transitioners
And yeah cause they never make posts like "look at me Im trans but I never transitioned and feel good". They don't have places for it and they are not accepted in trans sites - most would think they are just trolls or crazy. Even here
>I want to be a woman but Im fine being a guy so I dont take HRT...
>lol silly egg future hon
>you are repressor idiot gl killing yourself in 10 years
or maybe a few
>you just are not trans then

And such people exist but they have no need for it and they most likely dont think much about it, have low dysphoria and dont want to.think about it at all.
Even for example that person didn't make posts few yeas back informing everyone how 'he' is doing great repressing for 45 years.

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>>8514496
yeah

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>>8514507
>that one response about 'passing is a spectrum'
Ahahahaha. Hugboxing can kill people but it's no reason to not give transitioning a shot. How is repressing even helping you in the long term? May as well take the chance at living a happy and fulfilling life against the odds of repressing and killing yourself or being too cowardly to try.

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>>8514516
>passing is a spectrum'
yeah, it is
10 - pass 100%
9 - pass with makeup
9 - pass till you speak
8 - pas from 10m
7 - pass at night
6 - pass to people with bad eyesight
5 - pass on a photo with good angles
4 - pass from the back
3 - pass to people with impaired cognitive ability
2 - pass on a Vanity Fair cover after 100 hrs in photoshop
1 - pass from a mile
0 - lumberjack

>>8514501
It would be good if there was a place for them to share stories with each other.

>>8514530
And 10 is the only one that counts as passing.

>>8514534
should I go make a post?
>Im not feeling dysphoric now, AMA

>>8514516
Maybe I'll live a happy and fulfilling life as a male?

>>8514516
We must repress bitch downb

>>8511413
Do potential detransitioners count as repressors

I'm thinking about it hard. Don't know if I can keep up this life. 2 and a half years of HRT and the only thing I feel towards myself is hate.

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>>8514549
You're hurting the girl inside! You're making her cry!

>>8514541
Have you seen that german early transitioner that was allover media? she looks cis but still talks like a boy.
Also there is another hot transgirl on jewtube, shes short, cute face and curvy bod and yet she only passes till she speaks.

But most trannies would kill to look like them.

>>8514501
>most would think they are just trolls or crazy
Or trenders if they're FtM
It's kinda silly how you can write the exact same post and get completely different responses when you switch the genders, hard for me to take any advice from the trans community seriously if they only tell you to transition because you have a dick

>>8514530
But they're right
People will try to put you in one box or another but they base the judgment on the presence of random traits that occur on the spectrum
>60% female traits -> female
>40% female traits -> male
For a person that looks 50% female it's an important distinction since they're only steps away from entering the female with masculine traits box
If you put it in binary pass/don't pass terms it's just unreasonably depressing since a cute androgynous twink will end up in the same box as an old hon with giant shoulders even though the first one has bigger potential despite both not passing in the present moment

>>8514550
What is wrong? Passing troubles or you dont feel good as a woman?

>>8514563
I don't know, I don't think I pass as well as I've believed, but that's not much of a reason why. Objectively my life is in a worse place than it was when I started - depression/anxiety, left school twice and now at home and NEET, constant doubt over how people see me. More than anything else I miss the old me. I miss being normal.

>>8514552
Cathecism over feelings :)

>>8514570
Thats what Im scared of - I already have enough anxiety.
But can you return to being 'normal'? Could you try boymode and live like that for a bit? Maybe you will look like a tomboy or very young guy and no one will pay attention and it will be easy for you.
Whats your self-image - totally female or more like femboy?

The emptiness and void in my soul from simply not being born a girl shouldent tear into my soul like it has all my life

I don't know how I'm meant to live the rest of my life. Even repressed. I don't feel normal. I'm not like normal males

>>8514562
People are gendered by male traits. If you have enough male traits, you will be gendered male EVEN IF you also have female traits.

This makes passing harder for MTFs and also means you can never truly be gendered female: you are gendered female/uncertain UNTIL you are gendered male.

To be male you need to look male just once, to be female you need to not look male AT ALL.

It's the one drop rule for appearance.

>>8514581
My self image is female, but that's something I can never be, so what's the point?

It would be hard. I haven't changed my name but I'm otherwise pretty established in this identity (plus the logistics of having breasts now).

>>8514588
>My self image is female
Well you know what that means - you wont be better living as a guy.
Do you have a passing voice? thats usually a 'deal breaker' and even if you dont look perfectly fem a female voice will make everyone perceive you as female and vice versa male voice kills your passing. So maybe put effort in voice training and it will make sure you pass and give you confidence.

And a mandatory generic advice: go see the rapist/ pop xanax - its removes your anxiety

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>>8514586
gender this lol

As a cis female I feel bad for repressors
It must be so hard for you to be trapped with no way out

>>8514631
Why would a cis girl even be thinking about this?

>>8514632
I suspect my ex was a repressor and it makes me feel sad.

He killed himself and no one knows why. But he did tell me one time when he was drunk he wished he was born a girl and then got angry and demanded I never speak about it again when he was sober

>>8514586
But male traits don't exist in the vacuum, they're in competition with feminine traits.
You can have a masculine face and a feminine voice, but not a feminine and masculine voice at the same time, can't have a brow ridge and a feminine forehead etc. You can be in-between but not both in the same moment.

>If you have enough male traits, you will be gendered male EVEN IF you also have female traits.
That's exactly what I was trying to say but it also works in reverse
If you have enough female traits you'll be gendered female even if you have male traits, that said some traits like voice have stronger effect than the others
It's all about how traits come to form a full person that's why some people can pass in pictures but not in real life


>To be male you need to look male just once, to be female you need to not look male AT ALL.
I don't really get what you're trying to say here but it sounds like bullshit
Plenty of cis women have masculine traits or occasionally occasionally get misgendered and pass in regular life
>you are gendered female/uncertain UNTIL you are gendered male.
Not how it works for masculine women
Most of the time when confronted with a very androgynous person people spend a while looking for clues then choose box and stick with it
If you're leaning on masculinity it will look they gender you uncertain then switch to male the instant they see some male traits but it's only because you were a borderline case to begin with
If you were FtM early on T it would be "assumed a young boy/uncertain until proven female" instead
You feel like you have to fight for the passing because you're the 45% not the 55%

source: had trans/gnc friends of both genders and got to see how they're interacted with from the outside

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>>8514635

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>>8514631
nah its great, just imagine yourself being 6ft tall, strong, hairy, having dick and balls that feed your system and brain with testosterone, making you an absolute BEAST AAAGGAGRRGGGHHHH!

>>8514635
should have asked him when he was sober
better to get things out in the open and address them

>>8514635
That's sad. Who knows how mnay more stories there are like this but nobody even suspects. Were there any other clues? What age did he kill himself?

>>8514651
I did but he got really defensive and angry. Not like violent angry, but that anger where someone looks they are on the edge of tears.

>>8514653
He was only 20
We started dating when we were 16 and I was 17

>>8514657
getting past the shame and guilt is important

it's only recently that i've decided that it's ok to feel this way

>>8514657
It sounds like he didn't want to admit it to himself or think about it. Really deep repression. People here, or at least ones who post more than just one time, probably accept it more and would be more open to talking about it, if they trusted somebody enough. It would still be shameful to admit though and there'd be the fear of being left if they admit it to their girlfriend.

For older transitioners there are so many stories of divorce, but some of wives sticking with their partners. Hopefully more cis girls are understanding in future and repressors feel more able to come out to their partners, at least before deciding to spend their lives with them.

>>8514675
I was in deepest repression possible till a year ago at 25. It was better back then with coctail of beer porn and rosary than now that I know

>>8514675
Im not talking about it with anyone, I dont want to admit it even to myself.

>>8514671
I had an acceptance phase but I soon fell back to shame and self loathing and repressed

>>8514688
Knowing and accepting are not the same. One thing is to know and admit you Havr problem which lesd for me to even morr self loathing

>>8514684
You're talking about it hear. That's a lot more than, I guess, people like >>8514435 and >>8514657's ex.

>>8514688
>>8514693
if you're still miserable, then maybe you haven't got to a point where your confortable in your own skin yet

i realise i'm male who likes femininity
and I can never be cis

>>8514733
(I worded that poorly, too tired)
how do you find motivation to do anything in life when you don't care about anything cause you cant be her?

Being raised in sense of duty and honour and living robot mode

>>8513977
NO PLEASE don't repeat the cycle you were SO CLOSE TO BREAKING OUT don't give up SAVE YOURSELF

>>8514657
Was he from an intolerant/religious background?

How did you bring it up?

>>8514749
find positives in your life from work, school, and even guy stuff

on fem side you can maybe grow out your hair, add some fem clothes to what you wear, or just something simple like a elastic bracelet

positives will push you forward, while being alone inside and thinking bad thoughts is such a waste of life

Daily reminder the bible doesn't say shit about transitioning being immoral. As long as you don't masturbate or are gay you're a good goy.

>>8514772
Cathecism of the Catholic church does though

>>8514764
His family were not religious or strict, his little brother is openly gay

Well, when he said it when he was drunk he just went silent and cried and we cuddled until we both went to sleep, I brought it up in the morning and he was really upset and was almost shocked to hear he said that.

It was a huge amount of stuff we drank.

>>8514778
It's especially shocking and tragic people feel such shame even with tolerate families.

Were there any other signs he wanted to be a girl or was feminine?

>>8514778
yeah that sounds trans as fuck

is his bro feminine? there is a chance he wants to be a girl too, later sons are more likely to have estrogen exposure in the womb

>>8514777
m800 it's not like God would forget to include something in the bible..

>>8514790
he was always uncomfortable when we went shopping and I went into the woman's section, I thought it was typical guy being bored stuff, but the more I think back to it the more I think he was afraid to look at the clothes

He would always go quiet and kinda sad looking if I was with my friends.

He had big girly eyes and was short, he would have passed imo

>>8514797
His little bro is gay but he's tall and quite masculine looking, I don't think he's trans.

>>8514799
Shop and with friends describe me and my ex lol

>>8514797
It's just a coincidence. Being gay isn't likely to be secret trans just because you're related to the kind of trans person who represses and dates girls.

>>8514807
im so sad he's gone :(

>>8514799
>but the more I think back to it the more I think he was afraid to look at the clothes
;_;

If he had transitioned and not wanted to act or live as a boy any more would you have still wanted to be together?

>>8514817
My condolences. I also haven't told anyone irl and if I wouldnt be Catholic I would killed myself long ago

>>8514496
Well reading this made me want to die

>>8514653
To be honest if I killed myself no one would know why but me

>>8515223
You say that but maybe someone has seen a clue you didn't realize you showed or thought hadn't been noticed.

>>8515229
Their might be a few clues that I'm trans but I never told anyone I wanted to be a girl. I lived a pretty tragic life people would probably just assume I was too depressed to go on if I killed myself tbqh.

>>8514822
Absolutely, i still love him and I would still love her

I wish he wasn't dead :(

>>8515394
Having trans feelings really needs to become more socially acceptable. I'm sorry.

>>8511413
I spend at least 8 hours a day on 4chan being depressed
What a life to live

>>8515452
go outside
it is beautiful this time of year
(at least in the northern hemisphere)

what if i'm not repressing being trans but actually repressing being a feminine guy? I don't want to be more masculine but i don't want to live as a girl. does this makes sense?

>>8516006
Yes it makes sense and the answer is that there's not much difference. If you can live as a feminine guy then go for it and embrace it, and count yourself lucky you aren't more dysphoric enough to be trans.

>>8516006
yes.
every gay guy feels that way.
go to the gym.

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The follow up story of 50 year old repressor


https://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines/comments/6k0x0a/so_alive_now_everything_we_do_in_life_has_a/djk00w5/?context=3

>>8516148
Not encouraging :S

>went outside for 6 hours trying to have fun
>felt like shit all day
>had a dead expression all day

why aren't shotguns legal in this country anons?

>>8516170
Iktf I'm completely dead inside and the only thing that stops me from killing myself is fear of failing and ending up worse off than before. If I had a shotgun it would solve all my problems.

>>8516148
Glad she's happy, but this actually makes it easier for me to don my boy-armor. That bikini mail she's wearing is kind of distasteful.

>>8516170
>trying to have fun
What were you doing anon?

>>8516591
I went for a walk, looked around some shops and ate, spoke to friends for a few hours too.

>>8516645
You and your friends have shared interests? Why do you feel like shit?
Pls do not commit sudoku.

>>8516662
Of course we have shared interests hehe.
I feel like shit because of my gender dysphoria, I enjoyed parts of the day but a lot of it was just sad as fuck for me.
Especially being in clothing stores.

>>8516148

I don't know, that doesn't seem so bad. If you really feel that much better on hormones alone maybe the hon aesthetic is a fair trade-off.

>>8516692
They are trying to trick you anon!

Stay strong wait for the cure.

>>8516697
this!!

>>8516591
Thats why you shouldn't wait till you are 50 for your armor to get all rusty

>>8516692
It might work, but you can stay away from hon aesthetics by just going boymode. Just bind the boobs if they ever grow.

>>8516697

The only possible cure is to be born again or wait for immersive 24 hour virtual reality

>>8516690
Maybe you should express yourself slightly. Paint your nails (or your toenails, more stealthy!). Maybe wear a sports bra, or a pair of panties. Nobody will notice, and it might help you.

>>8516710
My boy-armor will not get rusty, anon. It will age and be more fragile and brittle, granted. But as with regular armors, boy-armors last for ages if they're built and taken care of properly.

>>8516722
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXOhIJg4B7k

>>8516805
>y-your wife

fucking guilt tripping

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56VWPGz10EY

This is what happens to your male hormones if you start hrt

>>8511413
Honestly if I have basically nothing to lose and I want to die daily why can't I convince myself to transition?

>>8516946
I'm the same, for me it is a fear that I would never pass and not be accepted by everyone I am close to.

>>8516946
>>8516974
Why do you want to transition?

>>8517027
I hate my life and I suffer from gender dysphoria.

>>8517042
Fix the hating your life first, then move onto transitioning. If you transition as you are now, you'll end up un Bitterhon city.

Go get help, girl. Get a therapist.

>>8517048
>why arent you happy? just go be happy!
wew

>>8517074
Where did I say that? Depression is a problem. I never said "cure yourself magically!", no. I said go get help. Being miserable because depression is one thing, but adding anxiety/depression because of HRT...

>>8516946
Same

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I thought I was doing ok.
I thought it was all under control. And yesterday the worst migraine I've ever had hit me, just as I was daydreaming about being a girl while taking a shower.

It stunned me for solid 10 minutes. I couldn't move, the pain was too great. After that I was dizzy. Went to see a doctor just in case. Supposedly it was just a muscular contraction that caused that, probably due to stress.

I-I'm scared anons. I hope it's just regular stress and not my repression starting to take a toll on me...

M-my boy-armor feels great, I-I don't feel trapped at all...

>>8518139
either go take a shower and re create the dream
or
go and do some guy stuff, haha

>>8514600
sorry for late reply
I do think I have a passing voice. I pass on the phone/in voice chat, people don't treat me differently after speaking, just don't ask me to sing lol. but even if it seems like I pass, the doubt is insidious, in every little interaction. you can only hear "nobody passes" and "you can always tell" for so long before you get paranoid.

It's hard because I'm fighting anxiety and depression, still not sure if I've found the right combination of therapy and meds to handle that. I remember times when I was much, much happier on HRT. I don't know what changed. Somehow I don't have the conviction and confidence in my transition that I used to.

honestly I wonder if reading /lgbt/ isn't helping :/ that and letting altrighers/radfems feed my insecurities

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where is Amy
I want to call her a baka

>>8518322
You can check any vid of a non-fem woman, be it someone old, no-makeup, or even a butch dyke - all your doubts vanish when they speak in female voice and manner. So having a passing voice is a big win for you.

>honestly I wonder if reading /lgbt/ isn't helping :/ that and letting altrighers/radfems feed my insecurities

Yeah I bet its not helping and you dont even need any political shit, there are enough of depressed, bitter and hopeless never passing trans people (hi!) to make you feel bad.

I have pretty bad anxiety myself and had to get on pills to manage going out even to a nearest store, and I can tell for sure that being a shut in neet only made it much worse regardless of gender problems. You become extremely sociophobic.
But it gets better if you are addressing it and making effort to go out and interact with people. Living in a place where you are safe is also a huge deal. Hopefully therapy will help you too.

>>8512486
>drinks
Do trees, they're bettar

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>>8518350
Good morning

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>>8518574
be a good girl and take your pills
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VJBBUqr1wM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSCzDykng4g

Good morning fellow repressors :)

>>8518693
I'm depressed I have to spend time with family and see how massive my skull is compared to real girls and how ugly and masculine I am

Once my last resort works I'm am so gonna drink myself to death

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am i repressing enough

>>8518738
Get on meds

>>8518749
y

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>>8518749
hons, grrh.

>>8518738
You could pass as is with proper makeup desu.
Any more repression would take you to Hon City.
Any less repression will take you to Hon City with a quick stop at CuteTranny Town.

>you feel the noose tighten around you throat
>you can't breathe
>your writhing as your body is suffocated
>your eyes roll back into your head, you lose consciousness, your body twitches one last time
>everything is black, are you dead?
>you see a white light
>you are being pulled closer towards it
>you can hear voices and noise
>your mind starts to unravel, your forgetting things, who you were, what your name was...you cannot think
>suddenly you reach the white light and it envelopes you and blinds you
>you feel small
>you have one last moment of cognition before you brain goes completely blank
>you can see the shapes in front of you
>something is holding you
>"it's a girl!"

>>8518812
You do realize genetics rules all, right?
One pic isn't going to free someone from hondom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQJXCBknbtQ

Why are you all wasting your time with repression when death will give you the cishood you want?

Just be brave. You'll have the childhood and teenage years you never had, you'll be real, you'll be happy.

Just let go. I'm gonna too

>>8518828
>your forgetting things, who you were
Then it's not me any more. Your story's tl;dr is 'you kys. meanwhile a girl is born.'

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>>8518828

>>8518847
If you developed amnesia it's still you
You just forget everything.


You should be happy

"You were born a man and will die a man and this is the only life you get"

Vs

"You born a man this time but you can be a girl in the next life!"

>>8518738
The person in that picture is ftm fwiw.

>>8518856
>the same thing
>vs
>the same thing again

>>8518847
You really want to go into your new life with the contamination of male socialisation and the soul wrenching pain of your previous repression lifetime?


Fuck that. Wipe my mind and make me a happy girl. Anything to be a girl.

>>8518884
The person you are now isn't the real you. In your past life the same thing happened. The only thing inherent to you is your soul. You'll still develop the same personality only without all the pain of being born male and socialised male

>>8518893
uh, yes?

>Anything to be a girl.
grind yourself to pulp and have your remains be fed to a growing girl. wish granted, with current technology!

>>8518899
just pretend your soul has been switched with a girl's you know. wish granted.

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>>8518828
>>8518842
Spartan likes the sound of this.

>>8518919
Anything. To. Be. A. Girl.

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>>8518721
yeah and next time you will just find something new to try and repress
have you been talking to your therapist?
why stop now that you're in the middle of it, you are just sabotaging yourself and ensuring you wont get good results.

are you at least still doing lots of cardio and eating no protien?

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Repressional suicide is the only way forward
We can't live happy lives
The options are tranny freak or dignified death and putting an end to our pain

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>>8518935
My dad made me cancel two upcoming sessions to drag me to a family vacation

So no cardio and no protein restriction until I get back.

I'm making it more extreme when I'm back. If I go to 300 cals a day. I'll be 50kg by Christmas

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>>8518945
okay well just make sure you go to your therapy sessions as soon as you are back okay
also get back on your full hrt dose, stop sabotaging yourself or you will end up like this

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>>8518952
I am. It's fucking shit
Lots of socialisation and holding back a breakdown of tears

>>8518957
just know that wallowing here is not doing you any favours for your mental state is all, come back to /mtfg/ so I can headpat you and everyone can call you cute

Can someone who realised late push geenie back in the bottle?

hey repressors,
i've found keeping busy with work or hobby can make you forget about your problems

>>8519062
I'm to nervous to actually do it. Fml

>>8519062
for a while yea it does, but then at night it all comes back

>>8518945
>50kg
How tall are you?

>>8519028
Just call the doc to erase this girl from your brain

https://youtu.be/yE-f1alkq9I

>>8519062
It only works for a time after a few years your work or hobby will start to seem pointless and the thoughts come back 10 times stronger

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>>8518945
>300 cals a day.
gosh, stop killing yourself, silly
also thats not how you girl, hormones are synthesized from cholesterol - so dont eat any fat, have some candies instead!

So, there don't exist sucxesfull long term repressive method?

>>8519322
>long term
well some manage it for 50 years, long enough?

>>8519337
Hmm from 26 to 76 that would do. Then I wozld be old enough to become a drunk

>>8519322
Literal repressing generally doesn't work, it doesn't matter if we're talking gender dysphoria or something else

Not transitioning is a different thing

>>8519352
Damn. I really hate this GD thoughts. I want to send them to fucking hell

>>8519196

>at night it comes back
Its true

>>8519362
Well you're shit out of luck cause they're only gonna get worse if you avoid them

That said some people find their GD was caused by mental issues so you can try therapy and stuff

>>8519386
+ either way you'll need to learn not to hate them cause thoughts are thoughts, you can't just willpower them out of your head

>>8519386
I know. Problem is that I musn't crack, ever..

>>8519406
I wish I could just say fuck it and transition and be happy but I'm too rational to do that

>>8519412
And doing it would mean betraying everything I hold dear.

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No matter how hard I try, I end up feeling like crying all the time. I'm shaking and shuddering. I don't want this. I don't want to be trans either. I don't know what to do anymore.
I need someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be ok...

>>8519599
Stay strong!

>>8519599
I know how you feel sometimes I feel like crying. Worst thing is I can't even cry anymore. Hopefully you feel better anon.

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>>8519599

>>851900
I'm cancer and a downer. I belong in repression gen. I'll never be able to be positive about my transition, not that I ever will

>>8519203
5"11

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>>8519062
For a time desu.

>Learned to play guitar
>Like depressive ambient metal
>When i'm alone i'm dysphoric and depressive
>When i'm playing and lose my mind in the songs i'm just depressive

It kind of works desu, but the thoughts come back strong

Also this >>8519196

>>8519599
W-we'll find a way anon...

>>8519619
I-I'll try... I just can't be alone. When I'm with people I'm ok because I just focus on them instead of myself.

>>8519718
Iktf ok? Can't even cry, and I NEED TO to let it all out, but I can't. Couldn't cry since my grandma died. I think I cried so much at her funeral I wasted a lifetime worth of tears.

>>8519801
Thank ;__;

>>8519899
W-we'll p-probably be happy s-some day, r-right...?

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I Fucking love alcohol

This magic potion makes me so happy I literally hug Beer bottles and 6 packs

The one shining light in my life

Over the years of repressing I've become a shitty person.

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>>8520391
>Magic potion
Magic poison desu

>>8520346
W-we will... i believe this anon...
i hope so ;-;

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>>8520391
Amy what are you doing..

here's a good reason to not transition

what hormones look like on a guy

>>8519245

>>8520544
Drinking on hrt

Fugg the liver

>>8520555
I used drink heavily on her and my liver didn't die.

>>8520552
Jeez... That's sad... :(

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>>8520559
I love being drunk

It takes away all my pain
Sweet

How to repress.

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I'm honestly losing the fight /repgen/
Most days I can be happy in boy-armor. But I'm feeling down without any reason.
Am I depressed because I repress my transness? Or I want to repress because I'm sad and I want to sabotage myself?

I just wish someone would fucking kill me already. I can't even anhero, I don't have the balls :(

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>>8520738
ALCHO

HOL
I REALLY LIKE GUYS WHEN IM DRUNK

>>8520552
It only looks gross because he's fat and unshaven, wouldn't be nearly as bad on a MtF that takes care of herself

>>8520720
Shitpost and cry

>>8520797
>>8520797
>>8520797