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/mtfg/ Transgirl General
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You are currently reading a thread in /lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

Thread replies: 422
Thread images: 151
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Life goals edition

▶Informed Consent Providers: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/932389/Trans/Stepping%20Forward%20-%20Informed%20Consent%20Clinics.pdf
▶Trans Info Dump: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV (embed)
▶Beginner makeup resources: http://masterposter.tumblr.com/post/116605714860
▶Size charts: http://www.americanapparel.net/sizing/default.asp?chart=womens.pantse_conversion_chart.php
▶Transition timelines: http://imgur.com/a/qWpxv
▶Voice Training: http://pastebin.com/dgipdsge (embed)
▶HRT info: https://web.archive.rg/web/0000000000000 http://taimapedia.org/index.php?title=Hormones
▶Voice Help: http://webjedi.net/projects/lgbtq/speech-therapy/
▶MTFG Radio https://www.dubtrack.fm/join/mtfg
▶IRC: https://www.rizon.net/chat #mtfg

Previous thread >>5660841
>>
first
>>
>>5661645
xth for unrelenting self hatred
>>
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>>5661593
I won't lie the lifestyle isn't really that appealing, but I'm considering it if for dat tuition money. I mean, my dad doesn't have to know right?
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fart
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>>
Someone let me live with them in Portland. I swear there's only a 60% chance that you will be murdered :O
>>
Daily reminder that all anons should be gassed again.
>>
>>5661643
>also she doesn't sound like she is either you retard.
wow you really are a retarded newfag. please stop acting like you know anything about transitioning or are qualified to help anyone
>>
hi?
>>
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> tfw my computer is still broken
>>
>>5661654
I dont know if you'd make it far with the lack of a certain penis swinging between your legs. Most guys who pay are in it for the dick. Real talk.
>>
>>5661653
Finally a feel I can get behind.

>>5661646
Kill yourself tripfag.
>>
>>5661645
how close are you to looking like that hon?
>>
>>5661668
hello
>>
>>5661618
I'm probably gonna be there till 26 desu.
>>5661622
That's sorta why I'm in that living room, albeit a much less severe version of it. If you were NYC I'd try to hook it up with a camping mattress in that living room. Shit sucks though. Sorry that's happening.
>>
>>5661668
you've been acting like a hoe lately
>>
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>>5661645
Someone come style my hair like hers please.
>>
>>5661668
hi
>>
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>>5661594
>that hairy as h*ck forearm
holy edgar

>>5661563
don't be racist. that's bjork m8

>>5661672
kill yourself my man
>>
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>>5661654
I cam really close to it one time, talked to a girl about her porn agency and what working there would be like. I watched a lot of documentaries about pornstars, etc, and what they all said was your family will find out around three months after you start, every time. It might be a bit longer for us because tranny porn is a bit more hush hush, but they would still find out.

Yeah, I hear you. I could go to graduate school instead of getting a job and I could get my chin reduction surgery. I dunno, I might reconsider it again when I graduate depending on where I'm at in life with people. If I'm still with my current bf there's no way he'd be ok with it.
>>
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>>5661665
>"i don't feel uncomfortable going fulltime"

(you): "ur not even living as a womann! XDXD, U can't relateeee!!!"

you're literally retarded
>>
>>5661665
*comfortable*
>>
>>5661679
no
>>
>>5661688
unlike you, ricky actually looks like a woman. so your situations are just a teensy bit different m8
>>
>>5661671
But that means I could just do regular porn right?

>>5661685
;~; well that's discouraging. I really wouldn't want my family to know. Idk, with how expensive school and shit is it's really damn tempting, and I imagine grad school is ridiculously expensive. Idk, those hangups and other life factors are hard to ignore.
>>
>>5661698
true, but i understand the anxiety.

i don't have to be full-time to understand certain aspects.
>>
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Until Ricky, Robin, and Moap leave this thread forever, the hon posting will continue.
>>
>>5661702
I'm just basing of the knowledge I know that a certain used to be really popular tranny pornstar got srs and now she not that popular no mo.
>>
>>5661703
Dollface would disagree with you hon
>>
Hey pham how do I get past Ocelot's electric torture thing in MGS1?

I've been stuck on it for the last hour or so. I don't want to sell out Meryl to be honest.
>>
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>>5661710
Leave Ricky alone or I'll beat you up.
>>
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oi lads looks like we got juicy banter ahead *brings popcorn*
>>
>tfw tired as hell
>tfw gotta sleep with bra cause taking tops off is a hassle
Being a girl kinda just sucks.
>>
How do I make myself like boys? I want to like them but I'm not attracted to them like I am girls. But I hate vagoo.
>>
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>>5661722
>>
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>>5661702
elanna i have an idea

camera
me
you
alison
???
profit

are you seeing what im seeing?
>>
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>>5661698
this guy is just mad because of something i said in some other thread about his waifu and now he stalks me every other thread.

if i'm that triggering then just filter me? i don't get it

>>5661714
it is what it is honestly
>>
>>5661733
be a chaser
cry
this is a real answer
>>
what's up ya caffeine pills ?
>>
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>>5661671
Eh she could get into regular porn, she wouldn't make as much money or have nearly as long a career but it could still be a pretty penny.

>>5661702
Yeah that's something I think about, most guys would struggle to date a pornstar, god forbid a tranny pornstar. Dollface used to have a boyfriend back in the day if I recall, I wonder what put an end to that.

>>5661710
Sweet, they make me feel better about my own looks by comparison. Keep it up anon!
>>
>>5661662
what's your problem living at home?
>>
>>5661710
Aren't you the faggot who has a folder of every trip here and kept posting the trip "look-alikes"? Those hons you keep posting don't come anywhere near close to how pathetic you are you loser. End your life.

>>5661722
>texas sign
Kara you're my bae.
>>
>>5661736
>he
Wow, you truly are a piece of shit. Kill yourself.
>>
>>5661720
after 2 torture sequences (i think) otacon will come with ketchup, lay on the ground and use it, the guard will think ur dead and you can KO him and run out ^^
>>
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>>5661749
it's an anon

how do i know that anon identifies as he or she?

lmao what?
>>
>>5661733
you don't
let's just dump more xenoestrogens in the water supply and forcefully make everyone a lesbian
>>
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>tfw you look okay in the mirror but awful on pics
>tfw you think you could probably just skip having bangs because your hairline isn't that bad but then you take a pic
>>
>>5661756
>being this retarded
Why the fuck would you assume that anyone posting in these threads isn't a trans woman? I was talking about transition and hrt too. End your life you misgendering loser bitch.
>>
>>5661753
I know about that part, I'm just having trouble hammering that O button. I closed my eyes and imagine that it's real nigga hours and I'm smashing that like button but it doesn't seem to help that much.
>>
>>5661760
pics arent accurate use video, im unphotogenic as fuck but i look barely ok on video
>>
>>5661139
RIGHT?!
>>
>tfw someone confirms you're passing but it's super awkward
I am both happy but also can never ever enter a bar I kind of like to visit sometimes like, any time soon. Why are dads so effective at embarrassing you so hard you want to die?
>>5661733
Start with trans girls, then femboys, then real men. Then woof.
>>
>>5661762
>misgendering
Literally Tumblr to be honest.
>>
>>5661763
i cant help you with that familia ;_;
>>
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>>5661713
Is she trying to still market herself as a trans pornstar or is she just making regular porn?

>>5661735
o.o;
I'll think about it...

>>5661743
Yeah, I wouldn't expect any partner to be able to deal with that. Idk, having a partner basically rules out any sort of sex work, unless they're really really OK with it.
>>
>>5661756
drake is a cool dude but he should seriously stop wearing 60 year old jewish grandpa's clothes tbqh

>>5661771
it's kayler having a T-fit again
>>
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>>5661765
I don't think i'm brave enough but I honestly think I look better in mirrors than pics.

>>5661769
>tfw several people say you pass just to not make you sad
>>
>>5661771
SIR THIS IS A SAFEE SPACE FOR WOMANS DURR LOOOL AYYY XDDDD
>>
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>>5661140
am I invading my neighbors because im getting stoned with thrm but they know im trans see me as dude when i really wanna cuddle with one of them becauze of how dreamy is he and he'll never see me ads a women because im jusrt a man taking hormones oh my god he is so goddam cute and his coice is deep i want him to beat me up so muchp
>>
>>5661777
Kimber James be her names.
>>
>>5661668
dammit I said HI booboo!
>>
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>>5661762
>Why the fuck would you assume that anyone posting in these threads isn't a trans woman?

are you retarded? do you actually browse these threads?

>I was talking about transition and hrt too. End your life you misgendering loser bitch.

So it IS you lol? how mad you have to be to actually reply angrily to me like this thread after thread like this.

lmao get over yourself and filter me. you aren't going to win this fight.

pic related
>>
>>5661786
You're an adorable level of autistic oryx.
>>
>>5661645
>tfw no drugs & penises in my mouth
>>
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>>5661777
we could make bank elanna

how much porn is there of 2 full-time passable transgirls one with SRS and one who is a domme fucking it out

the answer is none

we corner a niche and will make TRILLIONS of dollars

elanna we could solve the debt crisis with our girltinklers and boypussies

this is a once in a lifetime opportunity
>>
>>5661778
i think his grampa clothes are cute.....is it just me?
>>
>>5661791
>you arent going to win this fight
calm that t rage hon. gonna whip out your dick next and challenge her to a pissing contest?
>>
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>>5661796
>implying you fucking pass
dont kid yourself dude lol fart
>>
>>5661796
kek. Its nice to know that you think you are passable.
>>
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non-lgbt'er with a recently discovered feminization fetish here.

The effects that female hormone treatment has on transgender people really turns me on a lot. Just the thought of a boy growing tits, the changes to their skin/body hair, mood, etc really gets me excited. Especially when the person is younger. (Actually I think older Trans girls are gross)

But the thing is that I dont know where to go with this sort of fetish. I have been fapping to transition/breast progress pictures and I also found pic related on tumblr and Ive never came so hard in my life.

But I need more and I'm finding it difficult to find what I'm looking for. Ideally, I could find a website with shit tons of nsfw transition progress galleries but I dont think that exists as far as I've looked.

I've kind of been tossing around the idea of buying some hormones myself and taking them but apparently it takes forever for them to have any noticeable effect and the tit growth is irreversible. What do I do?
>>
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>>5661801
lol, images of that one kayla pic came up
>>
>>5661807
Have you considered killing yourself?
>>
>>5661800
yeah he makes it pull it off even though he's camp as h*ck
>>
>>5661807
>But the thing is that I dont know where to go with this sort of fetish.
try fucking cyanide.
>>
>>5661807
cringe
>>
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>>5661777
No seriously, even men who thinks they're ok with it have the thought otfif eat away at them in the back of their mind until they can't be ok with it anymore.
It's one of the main reasons I won't do sex work like unless I have to.

>>5661796
>Wanting to fuck some one with your penis
How disgusting.
>>
>tfw wish someone could just shoot me in the face and end this already
Self-hatred sucks fampai
>>
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>>5661815
Yeah, a few times.

I posted the wrong pic btw.
>>
>>5661824
Whered you get that pic of me? Im scared.
>>
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>>5661824
>>
>>5661824
what the fuck is that on her upper lip? looks like she fucked up her makeup familiancino's
>>
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>>5661807
ask kayla, he's the director of forced feminization affairs here
>>
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>>5661792
he can probably tell. i pointed to his sleeve cuz it was all tore up and talked about cutting them off of mine. he pulled away when i pointed. he knows i wanna confess again so much
>>
>>5661804
dude ur gay
>>5661805
even if i didn't pass it wouldnt matter because i dont give a fart LMFAOOOOOO *BRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPT*
>>5661821
yeh agp 4 lyfe my friend
>>
>>5661833
I want to cum in kayla's mouth
>>
>>5661788
Kimber James failed where some succeeded though.
>>
>>5661828
I dunno, but it makes me cum a lot.

>>5661833
>forced feminization

What?
>>
>>5661835
jk u pass gr8 ily
>>
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>tfw will never pass
>>
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>>5661822
I wish I had someone fuck me before doing it at least. Not having sex with a male ever not even once in my life is suffering. Fuck being a virgin desu.
>>
>>5661828
lol, looks like chicken grease

>>5661833
> kek
>>
>tfw those who transitioned over 20 and before 30 are the new hons
>>
>>5661822
>tfw you tolerate yourself, but you can't change the fact that you are a terrible person with the visage to match
>tfw you are still breathing
>>
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>>5661821
>not wanting to plow a big strong hairy man as he's digging his nails into your back and moaning into your ear in his deep bellowing voice
>>
>>5661849
>implying
>>
>>5661847
Would you let an ugly NEET manlet fuck you? If so maybe I can help.
>>
>>5661833
I would pity fuck Kayla if given the chance to be honest. That dude is just a ticking fucking timebomb. Only a matter of time before he realizes he did it all because he's a autogynephile who wants to himself as a girl. I guess about half a year after transition he'll realize he did the wrong thing and hang himself from a ceiling fan.
>>
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>>5661849
i-i-is right at 20 safe?
>>
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>>5661835
T-there is no such thing as AGP.

>>5661846
>tfw when passing and full time

>>5661854
This is the most disgusting thing Ive read on 4chan.
>>
>>5661849
Oh I guess that one's me
Ten years it's gonna be Hons are anyone who wasn't on blockers before 10
>>
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Fuck, I love having a cock and being a girl so much. I don't think I've bottomed or subbed for anyone in like a year. Feels good.
>>
>tfw lost
>>
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>>5661862
If you hanged yourself in a ceiling fan would you spin around?
Would be neat.

>>5661877
>tfw hugboxers say I pass on bad pics with neet hair
:(
>>
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>tfw the little red potion on my necklace broke off today
>tfw an older lady customer asked me if i have a boyfriend today
>>
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>>5661877
>T-there is no such thing as AGP.

ur looking at it baby
>>5661883
WHERE ARE U BABY WE'LL FIND YOU
>>
>>5661853
iktf exactly
>tfw every time I start to feel better about myself the self-doubting and depression come back
>can't even bring myself to self-harm because I promised my closest friend I'd never do it
>the shame of doing it would push me over the edge and I'd probably just kill myself at that point
>tfw no healthy way of coping with my sadness
>>
>>5661888
well do you have a boyfriend?
>>
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>>5661881
> topping
>>
can't stop playing pokemon
halp
>>
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>>5661796
I mean when you put it that way...
Fuck, you make a very convincing argument...

>>5661821
Yeah. I mean, the only reason I'm even considering it is that I'm poor as fuck. Career student lyfe
>>
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>>5661840
just bend over and take it like a man

>>5661849
nu-hons* tbqh

>>5661862
poor bill! he just wanted to be a sissy housewife and wear his granny's skirts full-time but the society didn't let him

>>5661877
good. you should prepare for more, child

>>5661888
>le surprise tranny rapist appearance [audience claps]
i thought you were supposed to be in jail bill cosby
>>
>>5661896
no, duh, i have grace
>>
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I can see this thread is shit
>>
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>>5661903
b-but girls cant love girls
>>
>>5661849
>tfw too uninformed and started at 20.5
>tfw forever hon
>>5661899
Well have you caught them all yet?
>>
>tfw no trans GF to dominate me, tell me I'm useless manlet genetic garbage and to get a job so I can buy her stuff, and also ignore me and take forever to respond so I get super nervous and feel disliked
>>
you know you'll always just be a guy wearing panties playing pretend, why not just end your life in hopes of being reborn as a female?
>>
>>5661914
post butt
>>
>>5661927
give me a shotgun
>>
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At least I tried, right?
>>
>>5661931
Don't hit on people like that

It makes us look bad
>>
>>5661877
>T-there is no such thing as AGP.
spoken like a true AGP tbqh

>>5661910
he's just a dude who had his sexuality smashed to dick pieces by mehska tbqh

>>5661927
L-let's pretend w-we are two panty wearing japanese bears, senpapa~~~~
>>
how do you deal with the fact that virtually everyone hates mtfs
and some of that hatred is justified nonetheless?
>>
>>5661927
But anon I'm already dead.
>>
>>5661914
impossible to catch all tho
>>
>>5661938
The best part is I obviously don't pass because I'm like 4 months into mones.

I'm pretty sure she's trans too though, which is why I thought I had a shot.
>>
>>5661927
How can I be a guy if I have a girl penis?
>>
>>5661944
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds7H5RRPQLo
>>
>>5661943
Tell people you're ftm, that way if they're transphobic they'll call you a girl :^)
>>
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>>5661927
why do you think so many of us kill ourselves?
>>
Konata and Robin are two edgy men
>>
>>5661943
who "everyone"?
>>
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>>5661846
>>5661885
but you do.
>>5661849
>tfw got on blockers right before 18
>tfw still doomed to hondom
>tfw you are the exception
>>5661894
>tfw feelsposting used to help you mellow out
>tfw now you just sink further and further
>tfw that one scar will never go away
>tfw you are on the highest dose of the only anti-depressant that worked for you.
>tfw there is no hope. but you try to invent some to see if you can find some real hope
>tfw too scared to end it, but too hopeless to move forward
>>5661927
to find real hope eventually.
>>5661943
i just accept that i am part of the reason people hate us desu.
>>
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>>5661964
>>
http://strawpoll.me/6722042
>>
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>>5661964
das rite
#proudtobeaman #MGTOW
>>
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>>5661881
>Wanting to dom
Ishygddt

>>5661862
There is no such thing as AGP.

>>5661885
>tfw hugboxers hate you because of shit personality.

>>5661891
N-no, you must be mistaken, AGP isn't real.

>>5661900
Im considering it because I want to be beautiful. But I also don't want to be tainted.
>>
>>5661975
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtg-mK5E7Zw
>>
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>>5661881
iktf

tfw futa
>>
>>5661927
I was raised by two Anti-Religious hippies who brainwashed me into Atheism. As hard as I try it's literally impossible for me to believe anything other than death is death and we all fade into ash, and seeing as we're no longer able to percieve the world around us the Universe itself might as well end at that point as well.
>>
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>>5661971
i voted for myself, i hope no one minds tee hee

>Could not cast your vote. Error returned by server: User has already voted on poll
h*ck damn it
>>
>>5661960
so why are you posting this? make the decision to be happy
>>
>>5661973
ayyy
>>
>>5661928
Why?
>>5661943
I just kind of accept it and accept that in general, the majority of people seem to be hateful of something. So it's not really just us, it's that people hate things no matter what.
>>5661945
>implying I meant in one game
Although honestly I couldn't even catch all of them in a single game these days. I grow bored of Pokemon too quick anymore.
>>
>>5661975
There's better ways to be beautiful than doing porn though imo.

>>5661948
Lmao wtf
>>
>>5661743
she cant settle herself or commit, she needs time but its always running out

>>5661998
I'm just sad.
>>
robin haterz on suicide watch
>>
T-RAGE WINNER OF 2016

H*CK YEAH LADS!!!!
>>
>>5662004
Well being black does suck
>>
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>>5662005
>>
>>5661946
You stink of predatory chaser turned tranny. If you aren't passing at least a little by 4 months on HRT then you don't have what it takes to ever really pass.
>>
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>>5661993
>make the decision to be happy
>happy
>decision

Pick one and only one.
>>
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yayyy! work was great tonight. made lots of monies. now i have to like .... go to the bank tho since i forgot that i need to put money from my prepaid debit card into my bank account so that i can submit my rent for the month lol.

how is your day going mtfg? did you have a nice night?
>>
>>5661995
you have to trade for some and nobody has a gbc these days
>>
>tfw going to have drinks with a couple of trans women this weekend
time to drink until the sadness and self-loathing goes away
>>
>>5662017
I passed out on my neighbors couch and am considering getting into a fight so he slaps me really hard.
>>
>>5662021
Get a gameshark or something?
>>
>>5661951
ha, you actually believe you resemble a female in any way? well then we'll just call you a lying faggot
>>
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>>5662011
> being this upset
>>
>>5661994
i really really hate this mustache cat
she creepy as fuck yo

>>5662017
i made billions of bucks today. jelly?
>>
>>5662036
Nobody's upset by the edgy rp of some pre-everything newie acting like they know everything there is about beng a tranny.

We just soh at you.
>>
>>5662029
epik :)
>>
>>5662015
I've been accused of that before. I wonder if you know me.

In any case, I'm obviously some kind of tranny. I just don't pass as a girl.
>>
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Pistol or shotgun, /mtfg/?

I'm too indecisive for this ;_;
>>
I've come to the scientific conclusion that my body is cute, but my stupid fucking head and face ruin the whole thing
My hair is stupid and I need to stop playing with the hair over my ears
I don't know how to move my face
My eyes are soulless, dark, and cold
Someone please just kill me
>>
>>5662028
what's that ?
>>
>>5662054
Pistol if you want to have a failed suicide and make yourself a inoperable vegetable for the rest of your life.

Shotgun if you want to get the job done.
>>
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>>5662021
I'm not sure how reliably you can find a Color these days, but if you ever did dedicate to that you could just buy another to do the trading yourself.
>mfw a kid doesn't recognize an early Gameboy
>>
>>5662055
i'll pityfuck u famfriend

t. hips
>>
>>5662017
Well mom's boyfriend is being an asshole. Mom openly mocks me in front of anyone, hoping to shame me into quitting my transition. I owe the federal government 150$. I'm probably going to be stuck in this shit town until April. Sigh.

But at least I can dress up in my mom's clothes and feel pretty :3
>>
>>5662063
Cheat code machine
>>
>>5662043
Honestly i don't try to come off like that. there's alot i'm still trying to learn. i stay out of most of the in depth discussions if you haven't noticed.

I just felt like i could relate in that instance.
>>
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>>5662064
I-It's video games..
>>
>>5662016
>choose to be happy
There's more truth to that statement than you realise.
>>
>>5662054
cyanide tbqh

>>5662068
get out, poop-slinging paki bandit
>>
>>5662043
i can understand that though honestly.
>>
>>5662068
Hips are you still a boy or are you a girl now?
And can I wear a paper bag over my head?
>>
>>5662054
glad to see you're making the right choice. go with a shotgun, end the suffering, you'll never be female
>>
>>5662077
Suuuuure it is...
>>
>>5662082
I think it's more about choosing to take steps to help you become happy.

But I'm not sure.
>>
>>5662077
Pistol is almost invariably better because most game devs make shotguns less deadly than a sneeze past coughing range.
>>
>>5662054
shotgun
deer slug
make sure you actually point at the brain
>>
>>5662077
still cyanide, just plop that bad boy in your enemies' coffee cups or whatever crappy CoD game you play
>>
>>5662077
Oh, haha, ok. I suppose I get a little too caught up in the fact that this is a thread for transgenders, lol.
>>
>>5662086
agp grill tbqh

is the bag made of sustainable recycled paper

>>5662083
literallement quoi
>>
>>5662094
It is. You can't will yourself to be happy, but you can take steps that will permit you to be happy.
>>
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>>5662054
i'd say wait a week if you don't have this figured out. if you feel the same way then choose the latter. it has a much higher success rate. i don't recommend offing yourself in any case, but if you intend on doing it then you should at least be informed about what what you are doing.
>>5662083
>cyanide over shotgun
learn to kill yourself senpai.
>>5662087
why are you so mad friendo? get those T levels checked, hon. :^)
>>5662077
in that case pistol.
>>
>>5662054
don't do it, anon
it's not worth it desu
>>
>>5662074
nah cheats are dumb
>>5662066
tru
>>
>>5662109
Yeah, honestly that's just scientific. Like you can have depression which is beyond your control but there are methods to treat it, which can be applied to any kind of misery I'm sure.
>>
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>>5661979
I don't understand.

>>5661902
Seems like its stopped mostly.

>>5661941
No I'm true trans.
And there is no such thing as AGP!

>>5661943
Smoking pot helps.

>>5661998
That's true. Probably another reason Im not in porn.

>>5662000
I can empathize with that, no amount is ever enough, nothing is ever good enough.
Theres just never enough.
>>
where can I convert mp4 to webm I'm trying to post lewds
>>
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>>5662026

w-why?

>>5662042

no, i'm happy for u trump

>>5662071

what do you owe them money for?? ur mom and her bf sound like cunts.
>>
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This fucking thread, literally kill yourselves in real life you autists.

>>5662095
That's true, i'll go with pistols I guess.
>>
>>5662116
Too bad most here would rather sink 100's of hours on LOL instead trying to cope with their shit.
>>
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>>5662120
ayyyyy edie
>>
>>5662124
>100 hours on lol
like, per week?
>>
>>5662126
per day obviously
>>
>>5662120
>what do you owe them money for??
Taxes. Single/male on paper. I don't need money.

>cunts
They are. :) but they want me to keep staying with them because... Reasons.
>>
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I regret trying to be friends with my latest ex. She just won't do basic things that I need from a friend (i.e. won't talk on phone for a minute or two when I need someone to talk to). I only say that I want to talk (not need) but she just won't pick up, so we either text or see eachother when we do. She never really knew how to show affection unless I was already in tears about something. She says things that undermine my confidence, and always suggest things that she's simply better than me. Other exes of hers have felt the same way.

I thought being friends meant that we could both be there for eachother but apparently I will always be on her terms. She will always do what's best for her. That's how it feels at this point. It brings tears to my eyes because she doesn't understand that she drives everyone away in the end.

What do I do? I can't tell her I regret becoming friends, but I don't think I can continue being a part of her life. Fuck.
>>
>>5662106
It's made of an organic biodegradable paper substitute
>>
>>5662116
The hardest problems to fix are the ones that exist inside your own head. It's hard to break the cycle.

>>5662121
Calm down lain
>>
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>>5662130
Transbian scum get what they deserve.
>>
>>5662110
i'm mad because you're a bunch of delusional, self lying, fools that actually believe you'll be able to change your gender. just stop!! you're embarrassing your friends, family, and loved ones. you're not open minded, you're naive! such a sad group of people, actually promoting this flawed way of thinking. i hate you all

i imagine you're thoughts sound like this you sick fucks
>>5661927
>>
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>have a shit day
>therapy was hard
>stub toe
>etc
>text friend if he's free cause he's good at cheering me up
>end up carpooling to see The Revenant with another friend and him
>15 minutes into the movie
>start getting motion sickness bc of shaky camera
>have to sit out the rest of the movie
>threw up at least three times
>started getting a migraine
>had to walk to Harris Teeter to get some advil
>1mi walk each way
>spend the rest of the time sipping ginger ale
>movie is 2 and a half hours long
>couldn't leave bc of carpool
>wait for hours
>friends exit
>oh hey anon r u ok
>yep just a little sick lol
>get back to apt
>best friend hugs me for like a really long time cause he knew how shitty I was feeling
>let me rest my head on his shoulder/neck
w-well I guess my day was pretty good

also how to get boyfriend, cause I want more hugs but my best friend is dating some bitch
>>
>>5662133
where you at i'll be there in one hour or less guaranteed™
>>
>>5662138
You still taking estrogen rawr?
>>
>>5662142
Don't worry about bf right now. Just feel better, okay?
>>
>>5662138
strange that it quoted myself, this is what i meant to type
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3DL5jlmIzo
>>
>>5662138
w-wow you're really mad aren't you anon
i hear slashing your wrists with a sharp knife is a good way of managing your anger
>>
>>5662119
You have to download some programs from the web. From there, it's as simple as putting them in the program and waiting for the files to be converted for the most part.
>>
>>5662145
Middle of north Carolina
>>
>>5662152
I'm trying, thankfully the nausea has cleared up and the migraine is backing off

still hugging a pillow cause my best friend is busy fucking his gf so that sucks but whatever
>>
>>5662160
why does every tranny that wants the agpenis live in the middle of north carolina

every single one for real, what the fuck
>>
>>5662160
oh snap another NC-anon

howdy from chapel hill carrboro cunt
>>
>>5662162
>thankfully the nausea has cleared up and the migraine is backing off
Aww migraines are terrible I hope it goes away quickly
>>
>>5662162
You sound like you really like him. But it's probably because he's a really good friend. I'm not saying to stop liking him, but appreciate what a good friend he is. Take it from a girl who doesn't have any :(=
>>
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>>5662137
Quit it with the slurs, penis breath. I know it's a tough concept for someone like you but I'm here to vent about shit happening in the real world.
>>
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>>5662136
>The hardest problems to fix are the ones that exist inside your own head
>>
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>>5662138
Wow, thank you, detransing now. If you hadn't posted that I might have gone and done something permanent.
>>
>>5662138
>you're thoughts
KEK
E
K
you are edgy as fuck senpai. also, they are more akin to this, at least for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMBY7IkIE88
>>
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>>5662118

i just haven't found anyone good enough and i'm fairly happy being alone in my own lil world basically lol

>>5662119

i use cloudconvert, but you have to convert it to a gif first and then a webm if you want it on lgbt cause it can't have sound

>>5662125

hi bb!! how are you?

>>5662129

omg. i mean are they trynna come for you?
also eh... i mean can you move?

>>5662130

it's usually a bad idea. just avoid the bitch.
>>
>>5662167
We're all thirsty motherfuckers looking for escapism
>>5662168
Carrboro isn't a real city you liars
You're a suburb of our glorious public university
(4real tho, hi how are you enjoying the warm weather and torrential rain?)
>>
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>>5662138
> fools that actually believe you'll be able to change your gender

psure none of us do.

we know we'll never be cis, but we try our best.

Meanwhile you're an angry retard who will probably never amount to shit lmao.

all this fucking projecting. jesus christ
>>
>>5662189
>tfw almost everyone who actually lives in/around San Francisco is a normie/psycho/transtrender
The 'trans man' matchlist on okc here is at least five times bigger than the 'trans woman' one. Feels disgusting tbqh.
>>
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>>5662178
Transbian genocide best day of my life.
>>
>>5662172
It's back to nearly just a light headache, some more water and I should be good

>>5662174
I know, he's such an amazing guy and an amazing friend, I'm lucky to have him in my life at all let alone being best friends.

It's just kinda hard to separate romantic feelings from platonic feelings in a relationship that emotionally close. Having borderline pd really doesn't help either tho lol, plus he's like 6'4" and well fit

>>5662167
ay meng not all NC trannies want agpenis, some of us like the real deal

>>5662189
cboro is pretty much containment for the sjws, I'm more up near hillsborough/durham area at my mum's and more near chatham county at my dad's.

I love the warm weather, I hate the shifting between snow and ice and heat and rain, cause the pressure fluctuations make it easier to get migraines, at least for me
>>
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Hey I heard this meme is pretty popular here.

I am the one who originally made it. Of course its not true, I made it up. I posted it in a thread on /jp/ over 8 years ago as a joke.

I feel like I deserve some compensation for being the OP. Can one of you at least be my GF?
>>
>>5662053
I don't know you but that mail you sent is holy shit creepy beta. You're lucky she dealt with you politely. If other people say that about you then it's probably true.
>>
>>5662207
I probably shouldn't have sent it, yeah. Sorry.
>>
>reading a reddit post where a woman is describing being pregnant
>And my body is changing and I want to indulge in it. I ate a whole pan of pasta yesterday. I have a craving for something salty. I catch myself with my hands on my belly. I am so tired all the time, but my dreams are so vivid.
fuck...
>>
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>>5662187
Pretending to do homework lol...the usual.

I saw one of your videos today. i had noooo idea you used to do that stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_eX7lirubQ

this had me dyingggg omg
>>
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>>5662212
yeah but zika-chan is gonna fuck her baby's shit up
>>
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>>5662212
>leddit
>>
>>5662196
Nice
>>5662201
>some more water and I should be good
I should drink some water...
>I love the warm weather, I hate the shifting between snow and ice and heat and rain, cause the pressure fluctuations make it easier to get migraines, at least for me
Ugh my friends call me edgy but I legitimately hate warm weather
At least the sun wasn't shining today
>>
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>>5662212

>mfw the same thing happens to me and i'm not pregnant

idgi
>>
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>>5662222
check em
>>
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>>5662212
>reddit
>>
>>5662217

lmao! oh ye, i used to do vids a lot. i need to start doing them again but idk. it's hard to get motivated. that was like the start of how i get popular on tumblr and stuff.
>>
>>5662223
are you sure though?
>>
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>>5662222
czeched

and ye I hear you, I'm down here from Rochester, I never thought I'd miss riding my bicycle in a blizzard but fucking NC just had to prove me wrong
>>
why can't i find trump x cruz slashfic and yaoi anywhere on the internet

like what the fuck man
>>
>>5662187
I can move and get my own place easily. But I don't want to. They're not charging me rent and I'd rather shoot myself than sign a lease here. I'm saving up $$$ fur a long time stay in Transland- I mean Portland. Oh and I have court in LA in March. I'm not really like freakingout but fuck this place sucks :(

I hope it'll be easier when I'm working and I don't have to be at home all the time.
>>
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>>5662212
Well today was going great up until reading that
>>
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>>5662212
I try to find solace in the fact that what you're feeling isn't exclusive to trans women
>>
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>>5662206
>tfw no rich kidnapper bf to buy you everything
>>
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>>5662212
iktf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbTB3ASkdOo

dont worry at least we can have science babies
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/02/23/babies-with-two-biological-same-sex-parents-could-become-a-reality-in-just-two-years/
>>
>>5662257
>that microsoft paint picture of birth

Oh I am laffin so hard
>>
>>5662241
I was so excited for that one day of snow I walked a mile and a half to my friend's house in full blizzard equip
Honestly, best decision all year
>>
I think I'm gonna cancel my next appointment and just stop hormones, my bones are too fucked to ever pass without surgery I'll never be able to afford

Anyone have any experience with detransitioning?
>>
>>5662273
you'll only end up retransitioning or killing yourself
>>
>>5662246

is it wierd i thought the image name would be *self abortion* ?

or am i too immature?
>>
>>5662276
>killing yourself

probably if i can find a good way to do it
>>
>>5662273
I would recommend against being a double-chimera and just be an ugly woman
>>
>>5662273
>my bones are too fucked to ever pass
mine too, high five!
>Anyone have any experience with detransitioning?
I just didn't start instead
>>
i'm pregnant and the father is black
>>
>>5662282
<.<
>>
>>5662256
I made it up but I really poured my heart into it. I actually wanted that... I guess to a lesser extent. I just thought it would be cool sneak someone cute into my house without my parents knowing so we can be NEET shut ins together.

I'm not rich though and I dont have anything here except my computer so it would be boring.

Yes I have brain problems too.
>>
>>5662273
booger does, he posts in gaygen now
>>
>>5662280
I'm only 6 months so if I stop now everything should reverse.

I'll never even be an ugly woman though people will always see me as a man so there's no point. I started at 18 and there are people in their mid and late 20's who look better than I do at this point on hormones.
>>
>>5662271
hahaha yeah I was out sledding with some friends, then walked to some apt complex and played some boardgames. It was a good day.

>>5662282
>coalburning
>>
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>>5662282
>>
>>5662130
Asking to be friends with an ex can be quite deceitful if there are a lot of deep feelings involved. It's the idea that you can have best of both worlds, you can still have their love and support but without the relationship. If an ex is fine being your friend right after a breakup then there weren't any strong feelings in the first place. It's paradoxical to want your lover not to love you, nobody starts a relationship hoping their partner wont give two shits about breaking up at any moment.
Give her some space and don't pressure her but let her know that you're there for her as a friend. Let her find some new friends that she hasn't dated before and you do the same.
>>
>>5662282
>ywn have a teenage pregnancy
>>
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>>5662277
baka desu denpai
>>
tehe lewd

vid(dotme) /86wl
>>
>>5662273
i'll take you on a date
>>
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>>5662303
:3

>>5662282
the love i feel for you is so....intense
>>
>>5662217
Is "Nora" Nycteri?
>>
>>5662284
/nod
>>
>>5662312
dirty
>>
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>>5662312
like i said on skype

v cute
>>
>>5662296
>nobody starts a relationship hoping their partner wont give two shits about breaking up at any moment.
humorously insightful
>>
>>5662317
I HAVE NOO CLUEE!

ask edie, lel
>>
>>5662316
b-but that's forbidden l-love~~~~~
>>
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>>5662335
LOL THAT IMAGE NAME
>>
>>5662345
fucking sick. filtered.
>>
>>5662235
>Is "Nora" Nycteri?
Hey you stupid fuck, answer the question
>>
>>5662351
see u in a week girls..................................
>>
>>5662296
Thanks for the input. I want to be there for her in some capacity but I think it's impossible for me to be satisfied with being actual friends with someone who puts me down like that and doesn't pick up the phone when I'm calling and need to talk for a second. That upsets me so much because I know that she has the phone in her hand, sees that I'm calling, and actively decides not to pick up. I don't know. That shit makes me want to just tell her I regret becoming friends again. Fuck!
>>
>>5662356
in what world is a week 2 months? maybe if you stopped getting high you'd fucking know that. Just canceled my spring trip to portland, thanks.
>>
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this thread aint what it used to be
b-before i decided to start posting
>tfw you weren't around when /mtfg/ was good
>tfw born in the wrong generation
>>
>>5662296
>Asking to be friends with an ex can be quite deceitful if there are a lot of deep feelings involved. It's the idea that you can have best of both worlds, you can still have their love and support but without the relationship.
Too much truth to this. Trying to be friends with an ex immediately after breaking up is risky business.
>>
>>5662368
>/mtfg/
>ever good
I do have less fun and connect to people here less than I used to tho
>>
>>5662351
>>5662356
what was it what was it what was it WAT WAS IT YO
>>
>>5662376
dik yo
>>
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>tfw you slept during the day again and will be up all night
>tfw hungry

just
>>
where is kayla?
>>
>>5662384
Dead, hopefully.
>>
>>5662368
>

you probably don't even know ufufu, Kim/Sam, Sonic, bell and other cool posters that either left
>>
>>5662367
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *FArt*
>>
>>5662382
>tfw ur exhausted and almost fell asleep towards the end of ur electrolysis appointment
>>
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>>5662388
>hoping kayla is dead
>not korra or lizbell
>>
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>>5662391
i didn't know them personally but i wouldn't really post back then
i've been browsing /mtfg/ since like late 2014
>>
>tfw kick it off with the ftm that posted in the last thread
>hes hot as fuck
>shares common interests, mannerism and fetishes with me
>HE CALLS ME MOMMY
>MFW
>>
>>5662404
you bitch! get away from my man
>>
>>5662401
don't u have anything better to hope for?
>>
>>5662404
ftms are so much fucking saner and more chill than mtfs
>>
>>5662401
Pretty fucked up you're wishing death on Korra, while using a reaction image of her likeness.
>>
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>>5662401
omg jesus christ.

that image name
>>
>>5662407
hell no hes mine already :3
>when he makes your legs shake violently irl
>>
>>5662409
Ftms piss me the fuck off. Well only the Mexican ones.
>>
>>5662401
fuck off rawr
>>
>>5662418
ALL mexicans piss me off
>>
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>>5662417
>>5662407

> dating manlets
>>
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>tfw no ftm bf to fuck literally in their boypussy
>>
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>tfw see yourself in a dream
>looking like a gross boy w boobs
>all friends treat you as a qt grill
Wake up thinking im a man w boobs and and never will be real enough especially for myself .__. Even srs isnt going to fix this

If i just cud be real one day x:
Also good morning wannabe gurls, how is it gooing?
>>
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>>5662409
Some of us are sane (me)
>>
>>5662407
>>5662404

is he on mones?
>>
>>5662422
too bad for u
>>
>>5662381
too bad i can't check the archives what kind of dick because they are down
this is worse than the holocaust :^(
>>
>tfw perfect game in LoL

How has your night been girls? ^-^
>>
>>5662432
you're one of the least sane here
>>
>>5662425
your shitposting is unjustified considering he's amazing
>>5662427
original bf do not fucking steal
>>
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>>5662404
>ywn have an ftm bf
>ywn have a bf
>ywn have a gf either
>>
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>>5662435
yes
>>5662449
>the bright future awaiting me and my new boyfriend
>>
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>>5662425
>not wanting to date a hot chill ftm dude
>>
>>5662438
just some dude going down on some other dude, dick in his mouth like a dog with a bone
>>
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>>5662445
>>5662453

>5'6
>>
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>>5662404
im jealous as fuck TO BE HONEST

ur pissing me off right now
>>
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>>5662444
That's not true and you know it.
>>
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>>5662442
really good actually.

shitposting irl

shitposting online

honestly so happy for the future
>>
>>5662458
you're a bad person my man
>>5662459
>tfw mtfg finally lands you a bf on your continent
>>
>>5662458
You havn't dated before have you?
>>
>>5662422
That's just racist.
>>
>>5662465
Fuck you Europeans. We Americans deserve happiness more than you.
>>
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>>5662468
with an attitude like that the answer is obvious lmao
>>
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>>5662476
>>
>>5662415
>>
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>>5662476
shiggy diggy m8 suck my brit girldick
>>
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>>5662468
4 times. all ended within 3 weeks

Are we counting grindr meet ups?

lollll he took me to wendy's!
>>
how the fuck do you have a conversation im in a skype call and neither of us are fucking talkign
>>
>>5662452
>tfw no bf to have a suicide pact with
>>5662458
>>5'6
>tfw he would still be 2" taller than you
that would be really qt desu
buying bf, can pay in tears
>>
>>5662408
both of them are trash why would I hope for any less?
>>
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>>5662465
im jealous

does she want u 2 fuck her boypussy?

if not then im not really jealous desu
>>5662478
u have good taste

wanna b friends?
>>
>>5662486
iktf
fucign askward
>>
>>5662486
do you both realize you're in a skype call?
>>
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>>5662463
Shitposting isnt good ok?
>>
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>>5662486
gotta have something you wanna talk about. can be anything desu
>>
>>5662465
> he can't reach the top shelf

>>5662481
lmaoooo fucking stop. jesus christ
>>
>>5662489
yes
>10/10 dicksucking lips too
dude im so in love already LOL
>>
>>5662489
sure dude, although my gondola collection isnt as vast as yours
>>
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Going back to my therapist tomorrow. She hasn't seen anyone with gender dysphoria before but I've been seeing her for about a month and we've been discussing a letter of recommendation recently . She's willing to write one, but she's approaching this cautiously because she wants to do things the right way the first time around. She's WPATH qualified execpt for the "ongoing education" bit, which is what she's concerned about. But there's still a good chance I'll get some kind of news tomorrow regarding the letter and I'm hella nervous right now.
>>
>>5662495
p sure
>>5662497
shes really fucking cute can i go with that
>>
so like, does anyone here get people saying u remind them of someone much?
this woman who was showing us a house earlier today said I looked so much like her cousin michelle that she was almost confused seeing me coming up to the place and it's hardly the first time
>>
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>>5662496

this is what happens when you have Australian friends...


> tfw i used to be normal and mature...
>>
elanna help this newtrip is picking on my new bf
and i dont feel like devoting effort because im still recovering from an intense orgasm
>>
>>5662500
hey if u show me ur bp ill give u my folder...
>>5662499
ugh what the fuck man

ur just..... fuck

if i go to ftmg will i get a qt femme transguy bf who will let me ravage him?
>>
>>5662498
>>
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>>5662506
we all go thru that phase in our life i think
>>
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>>5662503
Do et, nothing cuties love more than being told how cute they are.
>>
>>5662509
idk i think i only landed this hot man because he was dropping in for the first time here in a while

ftmg probably knows we're all insane so LOL

worth a shot tho, i can't tell you how good i feel now
>>
>>5662483
>all ended within 3 weeks
Guess that's a no
>>
>>5662488
Idk, maybe u could hope for something more positive and productive in your own life instead of just hating on others and wishing them ill
>>
>>5662508
i want a boyfriend ;_;
>>
>>5662502
Fuck your therapist. Take any drug you want!!!! FREE WORLD BABY
>>
>>5662510
>implying im that dark
>implying im not pale af
>>
>>5662521
i wanted a girlfriend but now i don't anymore :)
>>
>>5662510
> when you realize his eyebrows are better then yours tho....


>>5662516
never dating women again. i would get wayyyy to distracted.

My mild autism combined with my dysphoria made me so wierd around girls.
>>
>>5662527
wow #rude
>>
>>5662530
why are you using a fucking thumbnail lmao... opened that shit in a new tab and started keking
>>
>>5662514
you are cute

:3
>>
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>>5662508
B-but you can take solace in the fact that you have a cute bf and the newtrip doesn't
>>
>>5662509
whoa thats a bit forward holy shit @_@
>>
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>>5662525
Don't take the bait korra it's what they want. And you can literally filter the image MD5 so you'll never see it again.
>>5662530
>when you realize you saved a picture for ants
>>
>>5662523
self med isn't an option
>>
>>5662534
how
i could never get one after wanting one for so long and now i have a super awesome bf
>>5662541
tru and i am and it feels GREAT
>>
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>>5662525
> not being apart of the fair-skin master race
>>
>>5662525
Take my money just please don't hurt me! ;~;
>>
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>>5662543
>>5662539

> not starting a new meme where you save thumbnails and post them ironicially
>>
>>5662547
i was just teasing anon, congrats <3
>>
>>5662530
>mild autism
>>
>>5662546
True. Good luck tomorrow. I.how everything goes super well.
>>
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>>5662543
neat i learned something new today!

>>5662548
well i am a black girl, i can only get so pale lol. id be white if I got any lighter

>>5662549
uhh wat?
>>
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>>5662542
;)
>>5662515
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>>
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>>5662553
self-diagnosed
>>
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>>5662553
do all hons here have mild autism?
>>
>>5662558
Oh, sorry. I thought you were mugging me or going to beat me up with your big, strong arms.
>>
>>5662552
o-oh, tyvm <3
>>5662559
hey im serious its worth a shot
the pay-off for paying attention to his post is amazing
>tfw he goes to bed fulfilled and blushing after mutualfap
>>
>>5662561
im convinced that robin is kayla
>>
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>>5662540
You're a sweet, anon.
>>5662551
JUST
>>
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>>5662567
Anons h8 me cuz they aint me
>>
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>>5662566
dude you're making me like fucking

ughhhhhh

pussylust is strong right now dude
>>
>>5662567
kayla is one of the new trips for sure.
>>
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>>5662561
>pizza is gross
>i hate all music
>>
>tfw i stay up past 11 i want to kill myself
is circadian depression a thing?
>>
>>5662289
same here, 25 weeks tomorrow
i'll never go back
everything is better now
not necessarily good, but better
>>
>>5662568
>tfw ywn candyflip with mado and have degenerate sex.
WHY
LIVE
>>
>>5662575
tell me about it. im getting horny thinking about him
>tfw bae is asleep
>>
>>5662557
th-thanks, y-you too
>>
chaser looking for a girlfriend let me know if you are interested

[email protected]
>>
>>5662574
why would i want to be pre-transition with self-diagnosed mild autism?
>>
>>5662580
Congrats dear! Glad to hear its going relatively well
>>
>>5662581
>ywn

sucks for you ;)
>>
>>5662576
if that we true would it matter?
kayla has a huge reputation weighing her down
as long as she can behave under a new name/trip then I don't see the problem
>>
>>5662588
blow me
>>
>>5662585
lmao is being pre-transition really that bad of a thing?

Everyone starts off in the pre stage. you'll get to laugh at my shitty skin and put me on a tier list soon enough anon-kun
>>
>>5662584
>1952

10/10
>>
>>5662589
Hi kayla
>>
>>5662594
>is being pre-transition really that bad of a thing?
it's not exactly something to be jealous of
>>
>>5662581
>>5662588
>>5662593
man that must suck for you guys that could happen in a day from now for me

: - )
>>5662582
P U S S Y
>>
>>5662586
yeah i guess stuff is mostly alright
it's really fun to squish my boobs on my friend when we hug though~~~
>>
>>5662561

I'm not gross ;-;
>>
>>5662289
apparently things take 2 to four years to truly devlope though.

How will you know if it will *never* work out for sure?
>>
>>5662594
Why are you so nonchalant about looking like a man and continuing to masculinize as you're not on hormones? It doesn't seem to bother you at all. Are you even really trans?
>>
>>5662604
hes mine, fuck off maya
>>
>>5662602
I'm not kayla but that just proves my point, her reputation precedes her
>>
>>5662612
Hi kayla!
>>
>>5662604
lol yume u always make me laugh pls nvr change

>>5662607
oooh the same one u mentioned b4? and dang it does that mean I have competition to claim my waifu?!
>>
>>5662611
i got a piece of that qt neet girl ass before you even knew who he was nigga

shit

alright i know how to settle this

whoever can correctly label a map of africa with the highest efficiency gets him, is that cool?
>>
>>5662604
post more gondolas faggot
>>
>>5662610
>>5662603
because i'm on 4chan

Edie and my other friends convinced me to stop crying about it.

last weekend i just laid in bed and cried. same for that entire week.

Just looking forward to the future and focusing on what i can control. i'm alot happier now just waiting for my time. i'm very optomistic about the future and how things will turn out!
>>
>>5662289
sparky youre so wrong lol
i can only do so much to convince you but we've talked before

>>5662608
but you're unhealthy, pizza

>>5662609
most logical thing you've said
>>
>>5662604
>mado
ok now im jelly too
fuck you now we both have something we want from each other
>>
>>5662624

How can a vegetable be unhealthy tho
>>
>>5662617
ok

what does highest efficiency mean
>>
>>5662630
new
>>
>>5662623
literally the new korra
>>
>>5662631
i am a vegetable and i am not healthy
>>
>>5662634
there's already a thread made
>>5661650
>>5661650
>>5661650
>>5661650
>>5661650
>>
>>5662637
i'm just who i am lol. perceive me as you will.
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