This is the Trans Help General thread. We'll try to help you here with everything related to being transgender.
This includes questioning, appearance, daily trans problems, medical info, general info and other interesting stuff to name a few.
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What will hormones do?
I think I'm, well.. I'm not quite sure, but I'm pretty sure that I'm questioning.. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I've been questioning for about two years now.. It's hitting me kind of hard tonight and I'm panicking a bit.
Well, first off, there's no real need to panic in this situation.
Things can hit hard sometimes, I know. But panicking is just gonna make it worse.
So, what's making it hit so hard tonight?
It's actually been building over the last couple of days, slowly but surely. I stumbled onto a video about transitioning and I almost lost it. I know there is nothing wrong with this, but I don't know what is going on.
To everybody I know, and to myself, I've been a guy for the longest time. Now, I want my hair to grow out, I've started wearing more bulky clothing, and I don't want to look at myself in the mirror. I know I'm not happy.
Well anon, if you are trans, only you would know that. Being trans is different for everyone.
I'm a ftm trans who has just started transitioning after about 6 years, and I'm still not completely comfortable with everything.
And even though I am male, and I know that, I still love to wear cute dresses and junk like that.
So I suppose it's best to take transitioning slowly, or else you're gonna jump into too much at once and it's gonna be uncomfortable.
Just take things one by one, anon. Don't worry about it so much.
I'm growing my hair out now. It seems so.. dumb, I guess.. but it's a small personal victory. I would love to wear cutesy clothes. Ugh... I'm just venting and talking and trying to get my head straight.
Well, if you consider that to be a victory, then that's good enough.
Taking things slowly is the best route to go, honestly. Maybe after you're more comfortable, you could try wearing some feminine clothes, but if it doesn't feel right, don't panic, because that doesn't mean you're invalid, it just means you may need more time to get comfortable with it, so don't be discouraged.
I'm going to hugbox everyone in this thread.
Hey, it's okay. Take some time alone. talk to yourself out loud, ask the fundamental questions why you're alive and what you want :)
The best help always comes from yourself! Of course others can help you. Be our guest
Even if you're growing your hair out, go to a barber once in a while! Just ask for a feminine haircut. I myself have been cutting my own hair with two opposing mirrors for the back!
In the UK and fed up of waiting for a response from the NHS/GIC.
I'm going to order hormones online, and the only site I could find is qhi.
Are they legit / safe? Is it legal or at least discreet?
QHI is widely recommended, and yes it's legal and legit. I got my first shipment from them earlier this week!
As for discreet though, the postage labels included my order and customer numbers plus their company name and return address, which could give any curious people with access to your mail something to work off if they wanted to know what you were ordering.
Okay hair preservation 101.
The hormone primarily responsible for male pattern baldness is Dihydrotestosterone (DHT), a by-product of the conversion of a small amount of your testosterone by 5α-reductase enzymes.
The hormones primarily used for MtF hrt, have different mechanisms by which each in their own little way help contribute to preventing hair loss.
Let's start with drugs like finasteride and dutasteride, which are 5α-reductase enzyme inhibitors. They stop these enzymes from converting any of your testosterone into the more potent androgen (especially in hair follicles) DHT. The plus side, you quickly and drastically cut the DHT out of your system. The downside, Less testosterone being converted to DHT means more testosterone. This isn't a bad thing while you're on the 5α-reductase enzyme inhibitor because the net positive of not having DHT outweights the negative of more testosterone. However, this benefit only lasts as long as you take it. If you then come off the inhibitor while your testosterone is say, 110% what it was baseline before you went on the inhibitor, suddenly the enzyme gets back to working on converting all of that excess test into a flood of DHT which completely ruins you.
So you HAVE to cut the amount of testosterone in your system too. I'd consider these drugs a good stopgap to stop hairloss before getting a proper antiandrogen or an orchiectomy.
Next to discuss is antiandrogens like spiro and cypro. Both of these have multiple mechanisms. The first significant one is that they're androgen receptor blockers. So say you've been on finasteride until you could get hold of spiro, then start taking spiro and get off the finasteride, even if there is a jump in DHT, spiro will stop it binding to androgen receptors.
But these drugs aren't just androgen receptor blockers, they're progestogens, so they work like any other sex hormone along the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal (HPG) axis in a negative feedback loop whereby an excess of sex hormones triggers a decrease in the release of the gonadotropin releasing hormones responsible for hormone production in your gonads, ergo less testosterone is being produced in your body.
This is the only mechanism of action by which estrogens like Estradiol will aid in preventing hairloss (as they obviously don't bind to and block androgen receptors). Gone are the days of using just and estrogen in hrt as in lower doses it's far less effective, and in high enough doses to be effective, they increase the likelihood of thromboembolic events.
Do you know if bicalutamide also maintains hairline?
I've been using it for some time. It's just a receptor blocker, so testosteron levels get very high, and thereby also increases estrogen levels as a side-effect
I use it for the feminization effect, but maintaining hairline would be a good attribute as well.
i forgot to mention bicalutamide, partially because i'm not too familiar with its efficacy as a hair follicle androgen blocker.
just looked up and yes that should help.
i may have also been wrong to say estrogen solely aids against hairloss through gonadotropin suppression - apparently it also directly promotes the growth of head hair.
I'm not up to date on hair loss..
is androgenic hairloss caused by the androgen receptor, or does testosteron/dht also signal via other pathways?
If the latter is the case, then any drug that increases T or DHT levels (such as bicalutamide) enhances hairloss..
Does getting more weight on hrt help with body frame disproportions? I mean, does it compensate wide shoulders and 6'1 height? I plan on losing all possible fat before hrt and start getting it when I will be on it. The question is also where should I stop getting it?
it's associated with the androgen receptors local to hair follicles yes.
another example is think how minoxidil as indicated for male pattern baldness works, as a topical non-steroidal treatment at the site of baldness without decreasing the DHT at all.
i'll be absent from this thread now so hope i've been of help to anyone.
How do I know if I'm actually trans? I know people say the "try imagining yourself in the future", but couldn't someone force themselves to imagine them in the opposite gender? I've only recently turned 18, and have been struggling with this thoughts for over a year now, but what if it's just because I haven't gotten used to having boobs etc? I mean, it may be a stretch, but who knows, I just don't want to be wrong about something such as this
Do you dislike having male body proportions and features? If so, you very well may be. See a therapist though asap to get your head sorted, even if it turns out you aren't its important to not waste time at your age.
Do hormones make you tired? I just started them and Ive been feeling really tired lately. Im not sure if its just a coincidence and something else is making me so tired, or if starting hormones is the cause.
To prescribe anything they would need to be a psychiatrist.
this was literally me a few months ago
get on HRT asap, anon, you'll be amazed what it does to your mood
I get highs and lows now but the highs are the happiest I've felt since, like, before puberty and I didn't even realise just how depressed I had gotten through puberty before I started
Their emails and stuff will make them seem like amateurs when they interact with you but they get the job done and are actually pretty reliable. Just don't expect them to dispatch your order until, like, a fortnight after you place it.
Make sure you read the instructions for new customers on the website before you order as there are some safety forms you'll need to bullshit your way through. If you don't have a scanner to scan them back in after you've filled them in (has to be done by hand, printed off), take a good photo of the completed forms and send it to them and they'll take it all the same, pretty funny desu. The packages rattle but do not have "TRANNY PILLS" or anything medical plastered all over them. The sticker for customs actually has 'plastic beads' written on it for the contents, kek.
Self-medding degenerate here, what are the signs I should bump my progy dose up from 4 to 6mg daily? I feel like I've hit a plateau three months in and my skin is beginning to change but seems to fluctuate between manly and oily and rough like it was before I started and girly and soft from week to week, almost. I know that for many the big changes don't start until 6 months in or so, but if I am someone who needs a higher dose than 4mg, will staying on 4mg for, say, a year until I get a script and an endo mean that I 'miss the boat' on the development that usually occurs during that time? Or will everything change like it was supposed to at my ideal dose no matter when it gets bumped up, whether it's 6 months in or 12?
Are you unhappy with your body or face because it is masculine?
Does the idea of your body and face becoming more masculine concern you?
Would you feel happier if you saw yourself as a female and others did too?
if you answered 'yes' to at least 2 you're deffo trans
yeah for me, needing a lot more caffeine since I started, think I may need to bump up my e dose as mentioned at start of post
is it wrong that I kinda want the lows almost as much as the highs? I've always understood myself better through my emotions but as time flies by, I feel less and less. I want to cry but I can't, I'm even building resistance to music-induced emotion. I have a breakdown every other day but even then I feel like something can't get out.
Is this just a depression thing?
get the tit tacs, they will improve your life immensely and if you're anything like me you'll be able to feel yourself coming out of your shell more and more with each week, it's a pretty good feeling to be able to cry for the first time in a good few years.
>The downside, Less testosterone being converted to DHT means more testosterone. This isn't a bad thing while you're on the 5α-reductase enzyme inhibitor because the net positive of not having DHT outweights the negative of more testosterone.
Real world example: I took Finasteride for 5 months leading up to HRT. Before starting Fin my Testosterone was 22.0 nmol/l and 5 months later it was 29.9 nmol/l.
I don't mind being male but when I think about being female and CDing I feel more comfortable, empowered, social and at peace with myself. The only reason I don't CD is because I'm fat and I have to have facial hair to hide my deformed beaver jaw until I can get surgery for it.
Is it possible to be trans without being explicitly dysphoric?
Just AGP or trans?
I'm an 19 year old male, whose never really considered himself anything other than a cisgender untill alot of research and reflection. I've always been interested in what it would be like to be a women, how it would feel, clothing, and reflecting on past expirences I think I may be transgender. I expiremented with crossdressing when I was younger (13-14), for a sexual thrill, but lately I've been shaving my legs and thinking about outfits, actions I would do if I were a female. I guess I'm more confused if what I'm feeling is just general panic of who I am, a sexual fetish, or 'real' trans feelings. I have had very few attractions to men, and all past relationships have been with women, though we never did anything sexual. I also never had a problem with my genitals or identifing with male figures, I always admired or was curious about what it feel like to be the female character/icon. Any advice would be helpful, really confused right now.
Reddit was not much help
So I'm gonna self med I jsut turned 30 and, meds should arrive tomorrow so i'll start very very soon. but i've been very concerned about my hair lately(everything else I feel good about), in the last year I've noticed its thinning and i have a bit of receding hairline NO BALDING thank god, i've been stressing about it which woudl probly make it worse. I've heard differnt things from people that HRT may help it grow back in.
So does anyone know how long it would take for me to notice if its comming back and filling in? assuming that it does.
I don't mind my body the way it is but I find having a female body to be highly desirable. I frequently have dreams about being a woman and they're always the most pleasant ones. When I see/hear about MtF transitions I always envy them and wish I could do it too, even if I don't really have an angst-driven urge to do it.
All this shit is real complicated and sometimes I wish I was a classic trans case instead so I wouldn't feel like a pervert with psychological problems.
Take HRT, stay boymode until you don't pass as a boy anymore; worst case, you end up a feminine-looking boy with boobs, there's nothing wrong with that, plenty of men have gyno anyways.
That's reasonable, but if you are ever going to transition you should do it earlier rather than later; your outlook is only going to be worse if you start in your mid or late twenties or later.
Call me ridiculous if you want, but I would consider myself a tomboy in the category of MTF. I mean eventhough I've identified as a girl and wanted to be a girl. Ive remained in boy mode. I secretly liked girly things never told people even denied it. but I always liked hanging out with my guy friends and being one of the guys. and because of my sexual orientaion, I'm attracted to femininity I like cis women and transwomen. now i'm starting transition because thats what i want. I was content living as male but it never really felt like it was who I was
hey, i got told to post here from the mtfg thread
im really confused and sad about everything, i think i want to transition, but im really afraid to, so many questions and fears on my mind, im hoping some of you will be able to give me a hand in some of this?
theres a lot, idk where to begin. i guess one of the ones weighingthe most on my shoulders right now is how big the risk of ending up in some inbetween body, like id say im not hating my body, but i guess it sorta also doesnt feel quite right either, but rather that than somewhere inbetween.
So my (now)boyfriend came out as trans a few years ago and i never really had too much of a problem with it but the thing is I (a man) am not sure if I'm gay
I mean I do like the idea of penis but not really anything else on a man. He was showing me one time what dicks he was choosing from to get (he hasn't started his transition, only chest binders, a haircut and telling everyone) and I was grossed out and turned off by what I saw. I do love him for him but I think that's easy for me to say right now because he still has (what I see as) a womanly face and a pretty hairless body
Idk if this is the right thread for this shit but I figured most of you could at least sympathize with me and I've never posted here before. I'm not coming here in a real time of like battling with myself emotionally, I'm really more just here to hear what suggestions I'd recieve out curiousity.
Tl;dr: My gf is now my bf but idk if I'm gay
some relationships survive transition and some don't. that's just the way it is. my advice is to take things one day at a time. it's okay to be freaked out at first. give yourself time to get used to the different ways your partner's body and presentation is changing.
whether or not your relationship survives is not a measure of how much you love each other. if you decide you can't be with your partner any more, that's okay. it doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't mean you don't love your partner enough.
Hi, I've never posted on this board, since I've always thought I wouldn't find anything worthwhile on 4chan. I'm still skeptical, of course, but I'm out of options, and I really need some advice.
So, to start, I've known I was transgendered (MtF) for 20+ years. Every single day I wake up, get disgusted at what I see in the mirror, and ruminate over all the lost opportunities in my life because I wasn't born into the correct gender. But due to family, was afraid to come out or even start trying to do anything about it. The tiny handful of people I knew with a "nonstandard" sexuality (something other than being straight) always told me coming out was the first step. Well, I finally did, and things only got worse. That was 10 years ago, my family is unsupportive and scornful, and I'm not a single step farther than "well, they know now".
I don't even know where to begin. I have no support, and all of my closest friends have fucked-off to live their lives and start families. I don't know anyone willing to help me, and while there are places that offer support, it's all just conversation. I need action, and I needed it 15 years ago. :/
Worse still, I got unlucky due to the recession after my high school years and couldn't find a job until 2 years ago. It's a construction job, and I do hard, difficult work around manly man fuck all the women sorts. While it pays decent money, I don't exactly want to let the "look at this queer" flag fly and try to transition through this job, because I need it to survive. I'm 28 now, and depression hits worse every day. It's to the point where I'm just existing -- I go work, come home, do virtually nothing, bed, repeat tomorrow. All drive, all motivation is gone. I have a mountain of laundry I should be doing as I type this. I should be in bed, resting for work tomorrow.
I don't know what to do anymore, and I feel helpless in what seems to be a hopeless situation. I'll be dead by 30 and the clock is ticking.
How do I stop doubting myself? I seriously can't find anything from when I was a kid to support that I'm trans, and even some signs I was happy to be a guy, but now I really don't like being a guy and I've gone as far as starting hormones because I want to be a girl now.
>lay leader for religious community of 50+ people
>have decent amount of bros for friends
>but on the DL
>know I'm trans as fuck
>wanted to be the little girl since 5
>white mixed with American Indian, so I age slowly and have softer features
>trap on other chans for sake of anonymity, usually pretty popular in threads
>out to a few very close friends
>mom is ok with it
>take PM intermittently
I really don't know what the fuck to do. It's like, I have the world in front of me and I'm comfortable in life I suppose but fuck I hate my body and playing this role. Should I just see a therapist or just keep it to myself?
what good is that going to do him if he already knows what he is? it seems like he knows what he is, just not how to go about doing it
i'm not sure a therapist is going to do a lot of good, but they can at least recommend you for the drugs
i've never heard that before but i haven't heard the contrary. i don't know enough. i thought it was merely a matter of the DHT in your system kicking in again after coming off minoxidil so i thought using minoxidil till you nuke your test would have done the trick.
either way, it can't do more harm can it?
i know exactly how you feel, I'm kinda in the same boat. I'm 30 now though and just now starting self medding. I still have not come out to family and freinds becasue i was afraid of that happening. and I too worka similar job hard work heavy lifting testosterone based men to work with,
Your not in a hopelss situation, dont give up. Youll just keep putting it off and end up more unhappy, just do something about it.
I'm probably on the other side of the country from you but if you wanna talk I'll be here, just let me know
Skip the therapist just transistion, a therapist will just analyse what you already know and say it back to you and waste time where you could be getting things in motion. they are glorified "someone to listen"
You know what you want you dont sound like you need a therapist to tell you. Just do it
i dont know, i feel like and need a doc to fix my face, and im not exactly loaded with money for that. im not too unhappy with myself, however not entirely comfortable either. i think id rather stay as i am, unless i could go all the way, you know?
Not sure if this belongs here, but the catalogue didnt turn anything up. How would I be able to look more androgynous? I have a very feminine body; wide hips, a curved waist and feminine hands, so that's on my side already. I have my hair done like pic related, but as for utilizing light makeup and clothes to help me, what could I do? I typically wear a knit hat and glasses and it seems to help, along with my fair and freckly skin, but want to go an extra step in terms of makeup. Any tips?
if you think that being on HRT makes you happier as a person then fuck it, who cares about labels, just do it
you only live once senpai, just do what makes you feel good so long as it doesn't hurt anyone :)
One of the most poisonous things about this board is the way it enforces such a strict narrative about what counts as a 'true' trans narrative and calling everyone who doesn't fit that 'AGP', 'fetishists', 'failed betas' etc.
Some girls are tomboys, some are girly but are interested in an extremely male area of study/work etc. Also, you probably didn't feel dysphoria until during/after puberty, that's pretty normal, not everyone trans is like 'mommy i want a vag' at 2 years old.
Dude, how many people go SRS all the way to chop their dick off? I wish to think a large fraction of trans guy-to-girl still have their dick. Are they not true trans because they're not giving up their dick, thereby implying they merely did it for the looks and sexuality? Fucking bull-shit.
We will never have a fully-functioning vagina in our lifetime, and there's a number of medical reasons to not have that surgery done. Furthermore, complications can arise due to factors outside of our control.
It's just safer (and significantly less expensive) to not have that done.
FTM here. I've been seeing a normal, non gender-therapist for about 4 months now for the specific reason of getting a referral. The endo has a form for them to do though. Am I fucked for not getting a gender-therapist?
i have never heard of a doctor turning down a referral just because the therapist doesn't specialize in gender issues. as long as your therapist has all the proper accreditation and can you should be fine. all your endo is looking for is sign-off from someone qualified to assess that you're not totally bonkers and treatment would benefit you mentally and emotionally.
I'm questioning my gender, I guess. For the longest time in online games and stuff, I exclusively play female characters. I rarely state my gender unless asked directly and when I do there is frequent surprise. And aside from that, there's always a feeling of rightness when I present as female or I'm just non-specific about my gender. It makes me feel like I'm better able to be myself.
I don't know. That's probably not a whole lot of evidence.
alright, thanks anon, I feel a lot better now
Anyone else /lash out/bully trans and men who show femininity until they stop talking because insecurity and fear of being discovered
>tfw a genuinely terrible person and i feel bad every time but i always do it
not directly at trans people no because I don't know any
but whenever my bigoted parents comment on anything I do being trans-like I get aggressively defensive like "hahahaha I'm not one of those freaks that's digusting"
>tfw going to be forced out of the closet by my boobs as soon as I go home from uni for the summer
not them but I found the post closely relatable
My actions feel stilted, I'm divorced from reality, I feel like I'm missing some fundamental piece of my humanity, I'm disposable, I'm wholly undesirable, I'm empty
When I see my reflection I feel urgent panic and dread. I scrutinize my appearance in the mirror. My life hasn't changed or advanced much since puberty began, trapped in a routine of mental illness and eating disorders and escapism
Hey, I'm a transgender male that wants to transition, but my family is odded out by it and my mother hates this- even comes up to me and mocks me by calling me overly girly names and all. Everyone else though has been extremely helpful and, despite the odd things I've seen and the horror stories I've heard of, I still want to do this. The only thing stopping me is my mother, because I'm kind of scared of what she would do if I did it. What should I do? Thank you guys
well it's too late for me so please tell me i'm next in line for the gas chambers
Different anon, but that sounds like me before I started transitioning. Mental illness, eating disorders, and escapism - that was my life. I tried to deny that I was trans, thinking that if I ignored my dysphoria hard enough, it would go away eventually. It didn't. I minimized my feminine characteristics by starving myself, and my health was absolute shit. I was just waiting to die, and then, around a year ago, I nearly did. It went from a chronic to an acute situation, and I was forced to confront the uncomfortable truths I'd been hiding from for so long.
I finally started seeing a gender therapist at age 27 (I should have done so when I was 13), and now, a few months later, I'm on T and I actually feel like a human being. My whole life up until this point feels like a bizarre dream that I just woke up from. I care about my health and my body for the first time. I'm enjoying exercising, something I never thought could be possible for me. I'm moving forward instead of stagnating. I'm doing things I always stopped myself from doing for whatever reason. I've finally started living my life, and I'm really fucking excited about it. I hope that, someday, you can, too, anon(s).
thrift shopping is fucking amazing! I still havn't come out but i thrift on the reg. I am a hermit though.
You should do ketamine everyday like me and numb yourself to everything. Then you won't have any second thoughts!
I am going to take hrt whether it makes me hon or not. Fuck whatever I am right now, i know!
an actual purpose made binder for ftms compresses a lot harder and therefore does more damage over time. gotta remember the average ftm wants rid of the boobs asap, so if they sag a bit, no big deal.
i'm assuming you don't want saggy tits.
I guess this goes here?
>Always been kind of sensitive growing up
>My friends always told me they think I'm gay despite having a few girlfriends
>One gay guy told me they think I'm cute in HS
>End up hearing that two other gay guys like me too
>Experiment with light feminization over the years
>Have a few rough years with my general health
>Slowly get better
>Struggling to get back on my feet
>Start getting these natural urges to feminize again
>Have a bit of fun, but don't really feel like putting out the effort and hiding it
>All of sudden the urges stop completely three days ago
>Okay, that was weird
>Don't feel like being a girl during the day anymore
>All of a sudden two nights ago
>Have a borderline lucid dream where I'm with a frail guy
>He makes very romantic love to me
>Later in the dream he tells me he loves me in front of my dream friends
>I'm nervous but happy and start crying in my dream
>Not sure what to think, never had a dream like that before
>No urges during the day
>Have a dream where my hair is shoulder length and thick
>Keep running my fingers through my hair so happy throughout the dream
>Wake up wishing I could really do that
>Still no urges throughout the day
>More confused then ever
other anon is bullshitting but it definitely sounds like you should be exploring a more feminine presentation, even if you're not necessarily trans or need HRT. do you feel at all uncomfortable, incomplete or detached from yourself when treated like a guy, having to act in a masculine way etc.? how do you feel about your face and body? if you could press a button and live as a female in body, mind and presentation, but not be able to change back, would you do it? assume everyone would have their memories changed to think you were always that way.
Not uncomfortable. I like all of my original parts just fine. My face is pretty neutral. I would like a boobs though, that's for sure.
I'm really tall, but I never feel tall, in fact I always feel really short. I can be six inches taller then someone and feel like I'm looking up towards them. That's the strangest thing about me.
If people's memories changed, I think people would have generally liked me more if I was a girl because of how I acted. I wasn't very girly, but I definitely wasn't masculine. I think it would have been more fitting if I was a girl.
Well good news, the boobs are probably the biggest difference on HRT, lol
honestly I'd say you sound like you're erring towards trans, but not by as much as most people on here. Perhaps seek a gender therapist, but if you're considering trying it, HRT is a time-sensitive issue so depending on your age, if you're gonna try it out, sooner rather than later may be a good idea. It wasn't until I was on it for a few months I realised just how depressed and numb I had been for ages without knowing it and I was able to cry for the first time in ~6 years. You can quit cold turkey if you decide it's not for you, there's no side effect to that. Honestly trying it is the only way to be certain whether or not it's for you.
At the end of the day, everything else aside, the question it comes down to is would you feel more comfortable/happy/better if you transitioned? If your gut instinct to reading that question is 'yes' then yeah, you definitely need to follow this up by self-medding and asking your GP to be referred to a therapist.
Hey everyone. I need to get this off of my chest. Over the last two years I have been battling to be happy. At first, I thought I was gay (I'm genetically male) and I even tried dating a friend for a while. He's really sweet, but I clearly wasn't into it. I thought I needed to just "be more manly" so I started working out, but I didn't like that either. I began to dress in baggy clothing and hide my body from myself. I still cant look in a mirror for too long before turning away and feeling like crap. I heard about transgender people about a year and a half ago and it hung on my mind for a long time.
The signs were there for the longest time. I like playing as female characters in video games, I hate being grimy/dirty, I love flowery scents and cute clothes (even though I've never worn them), and I always wanted to be with/talk to the cutest girls.
Tonight, my puzzled brain is starting to piece itself together. One of my friends suggested I grow my hair out and shave my body hair (hate body hair too) and I'm starting to get a little more comfortable. I just realized that I only dated the women I've dated because I was envious of them. I'm shaking and freaking out a little bit.
I know I've been questioning pretty heavily for the last 6 months, but I'm in completely new territory.
So did I at first, but the highs are also way happier than I've felt since before puberty over a decade ago. And crying makes me feel better, or at least calmer. Before it was like I had no release valve despite wanting to and my pain just kept being bottled up more and more. Probably the thing that forced me into self-medding when I did actually.
Thanks. I'm going nuts, but at least I have a brother who I can talk to and help me out. He's been transitioning for the last 4 months. We constantly joke that we were born in the wrong order or that we should just change bodies.
I'm looking for surgeons for FFS, does anyone have any favorites or such that they have picked out?
You're not serious are you? Assuming you know you're trans, get on HRT as soon as possible. You don't need to transition socially at all, and it doesn't matter when you start it; HRT is time-dependent.
What "technology" are you even talking about? Hormone replacement in some form will never not be required. Besides, better genital surgery or a way to feminise more existing skeletal structure being developed won't affect whether HRT will benefit you.
give the cypro some time first.
if you're still really unhappy about it and can't get breast implants, and don't want to gain weight in general, adding progesterone would be the next step.
Progestins like methdroxyprogesterone increase risk of several health complications that bioidentical progesterone doesn't. I have never looked into the practicalities of getting the latter, i don't know about the availability or cost, and i assume it would need to be injected, but it would be safer.
regardless of which is available to you, cycling it 3 weeks on 1 week off to mimic natal females is probably the safest thing to do.
So I've been taking 200mg of Spiro and 4mg Progynova for six months now, good stuff and all but I've recently been informed that there are superior options available to me from ADC. What should I be getting and at what dosage?
starter dose is usually 2mg progy and 100mg spiro per day, adjust untill your levels are right
most docs are uncomortable going above 6mg E and don't like raising spiro if they can avoid it
>and are injections better?
Injections are better but pills are fine.
However some people get liver cramps when they use pills and have to get injections instead.
If you start getting liver cramps when using pills then you should switch to injections.
I need some help to figure out what's going on.
Recently I've been thinking I might be trans (mtf). After learning loads online about trans people I'm starting to relate to it a lot but it really scares me and I don't want to come out to anyone because I'm scared of what they'll say, partly because I think I'm too masculine to be taken seriously (or at least not feminine enough) which also scares me about what I would look like if I did start hrt.
Yesterday I went girlmode while home alone and loved it but I'd be too scared to go out like it in public because people will just see a boy wearing make-up.
I like how trans people are more accepted in society but that also makes me think that because so many people are coming out as trans my friends and family might just think I'm just doing it for attention.
TLDR: I think I'm trans but scared shitless & have no self confidence & also scared of finding out.
Shaving my beard causes a lot of distress.
I can spend upwards of an hour in the bathroom cutting at my face with a double-edge razor trying to shave, but in the end my face is bleeding, my skin is irritated and blood red, I have a beard shadow, there is still some hair I can't get, and my energy is completely zapped. Not to mention I have to look at my face the entire time. I hate my beard and knowing it's there but shaving is just as terrible.
I'm out of spironolactone, and won't be able to get any more for a week. I still have about a week's worth of estradiol left though.
So...Should I just keep taking the estra like normal? Taking estra without spiro is better than nothing, right?
Anybody here had laser with the Soprano XL ICE system? It costs more but is supposedly pain-free and a lot more effective than all other systems... several clinics near me have recently gotten it but I want outside opinions.
Is it possible to get hormones in the UK before seeing the GIC? I've been waiting a year and been told it could be another year or two before my first appointment. That sucks and I really want to start hormones and move my transition on so I can unpause my life.
I'm not super comfortable with the idea of self medicating especially without gamete storage first.
I'm able to borrow the money to go private if that's a good option, but I have no idea how to find a good private specialist endocrinologist in my area who would be willing to prescribe me hormones before I see the GIC. I don't live in london and it would be hard for me to get there.
I just found out that in order to land a job that I really want to get, I have to cut my hair. The requirements are that it be off of my ears and collar.
I need to figure out a way to cut my hair such that I'll still have at least a snowball's chance in hell of passing.
It looks best when I have the time/motivation to style it a bit and at least blow dry my bangs.
Unfortunately, that's all beside the point, I'm about to have to cut it all very short, and need to figure out a hairstyle that will leave me able to pass, even with short hair.
Just get them at QHI like what is said in the thread.
There is NO such thing as "self medicating". You simply use the dosages which are recommended by medical professionals. A doctor is not a magical being that looks over your shoulder to see if 150mg or 160mg per day is good for you, they simply do not have the time for that.
It has been said many times before in these sorts of threads. People go to their endo, they ask for a prescription, and they get it. It's like assisted self-med.
OK, so, background info. I'm a trans girl, 24, in college, almost broke, and living with my parents till I finish school next semester.
I'm out to them and my close friends, and I've been on HRT (self-medding) for the past 9 months, as well as doing laser and electrolysis.
So far the results are... not good.
My original plan was to self-med until I was almost passable and then go see professionals to get everything sorted out and start socially transitioning, eventually get FFS/SRS, etc, preferably around the 6-7 month mark.
It doesn't look like I'm going to be anywhere near passable without FFS though, and I don't want to be visibly trans, so I came up with a new plan, and I'd like critique and/or suggestions.
I have an appointment in a week at a clinic to discuss all this, and the first thing I want is a blood test to make sure I'm in range and whatnot.
Right now my regimen is 100 mg Spironolactone twice daily, 2 mg Progynova thrice daily, and 0.5 mg Dutasteride once daily.
I'd like to get an orchiectomy and switch to injectable estrogen as soon as possible (with a prescription this time).
This should both significantly lower the cost of hormones by cutting out Spiro and Dutasteride completely as well as cut off any remaining testosterone poisoning and make estrogen more effective.
With that done, I can hopefully buy time to find work and gain enough financial stability to get FFS when I can afford it, and then do the rest of the stuff.
I don't know exactly how long the in-between time would be, probably at least a year, maybe two. In that time I figure if my boobs get too big I can just bind, but at the moment it's not an issue.
I can't imagine it's easier to get SRS, and I want that too, I think it's just the usual "hey I'm trans, here's why" right?
If it's somehow more difficult then idk. I guess I'm screwed.
I think you should get the job or at least leave it short until you find a job.
Then save up cash and then get FFS so you look feminine even with short hair.
Build up work experience blah blah blah and grow it out again once you become indispensable to whatever future place you work for.
Lots of women can look beautiful with short hair(although t.bh not all of them since i've seen lots of really bad looking cisgirls with short hair...)
>What exactly do you mean by AGP?
my motivation for transitioning was just male sexual fetishizing all along
I tried to posthumously rewrite a lot of it as dysphoria but I know I am not a tranny
>How do you think being AGP versus (or as well as) trans affects what you should do?
Well there were some strange circumstances that came about in my life and personally, I have really one thing left...
under some other circumstances I supposed would either just learn to deal with being a faggot man or transition (although I would feel too guilty about living a lie and all the women and actual trannies I would be harming by doing so)
im afab but ive always felt like i'd feel better about myself if i was a male. I dont /think/ i have dysphoria, i get a little uncomfortable with my vagina and periods and shit but nothing huge or debilitating. I've just always wanted to be a male since i was a kid. I think i'd feel comfortable with having sex with a man, which is kinda what makes me question. i know none of you can just tell me im trans but do you think it's possible or is this normal?
If you don't experience much body dysphoria, you should consider the tribulations associated with physical/social transitioning and decide whether it's worth it to lessen the discomfort.
It's in the realm of possibility, and normal is a relative and meaningless thing.
It's something you should try to work out for yourself though. Having sex with men doesn't have anything to do with it.
Can you see yourself as a man later in life? Would it make you happier? Does the thought of living as a woman make you unhappy?
Do you feel like you would fit in better with men, or that you would like to? Do you want to be treated like a man?
Do you wish you looked like one? Would a flat chest, more muscles, short hair, and all the other typical characteristics of men appeal to you? How about facial hair? Deep voice?
Do you feel like you are, /internally/, more male or female? This is a tough one, since people are often good at conforming to what's expected of them to the point where they don't act like their preferred gender. But how you behave and how people treat you compared to other cis afab people is a good indicator too.
Some auxiliary questions, do you get anxious a lot? Depressed? Do you have any interest in women? The more you answer yes, the more likely you are, but only you can decide whether you are or not.
Definitely anxious and depressed a lot. I have a greater interest in women than I do in men. The physical qualities of men and stuff like that would definitely make me more comfortable. I think the main thing I'm worried about is being wrong and societal pressure. My boyfriend has straight-up told me he'd love me no matter if I was a male or female but I'm scared to voice any of my discomforts to him or even my trans friends bc I have a (pretty irrational) fear of being judged.
I need help I guess? Afab and I want to get my hair cut to kind of ease in and test if I actually would feel more comfortable with more masculine features. However, I really don't want to lose my hair. It's long and curly and everyone loves it. I know men can have long hair but it's the easiest and most temporary way I can think of to test my identity. Think it's worth it?
I wouldn't worry about being wrong so much, you sound trans enough to me, but like >>5544065 and you yourself said, the social consequences are real and should be taken into consideration.
Does your boyfriend know you feel like this at all, or did he say he'd love you either way more as a platitude? Maybe don't lead in with your /discomforts/, but telling him that you think you're trans isn't going overboard I don't think.
As for your trans friends, you should definitely talk to them, I can't guarantee it'll be all happy and rosy, but other trans people are the ones most likely to empathize with you.
I didnt want to be demeaning but its just that there are shittons of stories of transwomen who would try to keep their hair and went into a spiral of
unable to get good jobs--->badjobs--->bad decisions--->killing themselves
Sometimes its better to just take a different route.
that work sounds ok, But yeah just get FFS and then grow it out again.
I'm MTF, and I know all too well the feeling of losing your hair, although I had less of a choice. It's temporary. It'll grow back. The anticipation is what hurts the most though. But if you come to the decision you like it long better, the worst that will happen is that people will question your style, or think you're tomboy.
Which let's be honest, you probably are.
That's fucked up, I'm sorry to hear it.
For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to be a police officer. The hardest part of being trans (for me at least) is accepting that certain careers are off-limits for me.
Hey there. I was wondering if you may have any suggestions. I'm turning twenty in a few days, and have just moved and am having to hunt for a new job, so money is really tight. I'm FtM, and don't have a lot of resources around me. I won't be able to afford much in the realm of permanent changes for a long while, and had hoped to simply use a binder until I could afford to do something else, but have increased drastically in cup size within the last year. I am now at a J cup and I don't know what to do to make the interim more bearable. Any help is appreciated.
J-cup? Jeez, sorry about that. In reading through all the MtF threads so frequently see discussion about how to stop breast growth I almost wonder how many are actually trans, but one thing that sticks out is reducing caloric intake as much as possible, and reducing the ratio of protein may or may not help too. Basically you want to be as low BMI as possible without going into the unhealthy range. Though I'm not sure if this maybe doesn't work as well for FtMs do to already having a large cup-size to begin with.
Clothing wise, you could try a sports bra, then binding over that, then wearing multiple layers of baggy clothing over that. Sounds like hell to me, but then again I want boobs and not the other way around. You probably already knew this part though, idk
Is that true? I've switched from estrofem sublingually to having a script for http://www.drugs.com/imprints/b-887-2-1098.html and I've felt notably worse, but estrofem is so expensive. Could I just be taking this sublingually?
Also, from another thread and another poster:
"I'm afraid that's a lot more than in my case (I've had maybe that much in total) so I'm not sure if what I've done will work for you. In any case, what I've been doing is wear a normal short-sleeved T-shirt, and then over that wear a light breathable buttoned shirt or jacket loose over that. My usual posture is leaning forward a bit as well. The idea is to avoid the outer clothes conforming to the shape of the breasts. In your case, you may need additional layers; maybe you could also use something like a sports bra as well to minimize the shape. Beyond that, I'm not sure; honestly, you might want to check guides for ftm breast binding."
>In reading through all the MtF threads so frequently see discussion about how to stop breast growth I almost wonder how many are actually trans
Protip: Most women (and by extension, most trans women) don't want to have huge boobs. Watch less anime please.
Well my pills don't exactly look like that, but yeah, as far as I can tell it's the same drug.
You should be taking that sublingually. One time I tried experimenting with taking my estradiol orally, and within two days my face was zit city.
Hah, yeah, I get it, but most of the people I'm talking about freak out when they're almost to a B-cup. It was intended as a joke though, they have reasons, they don't want people to know they're trans. I probably wouldn't want anything over a D-cup to be honest.
I recently got some relief from a major personal problem and feel less dysphoric along with less depressed. Does this mean, my "dysphoria" is just escapism and imagining myself as a cute powerful talented woman with a vagina like I was worried?
Are you in the US? http://www.privatemdlabs.com/
If you're not, RIP. You could talk to a GP and see if one of them is sympathetic. You NEED a test to verify ranges. You can have sore nipples and your T still too high, you can have 0 erections and your T still too high. There's no sure way to tell you.
What do you put on your face to stay young forever? I've just been using some stuff I picked up at the drug store, but it's not specifically for the face. I try to search online but there are so many products. How am I supposed to know what to use and for what?
Alright so I need your help guys and gals. I'm not totally out yet but my friends and I are going to a convention [spoiler]Anime North if you're curious[/spoiler] and I wanted to do a crossplay. Hair is good, body, arms all that jazz. But how the fuck do i cover 5'o clock shadow? I can't shave it down enough, and even with the facepaint I'm using for one of the days it still sticks out.
TL;DR How to get rid of 5'o clock shadow. If anyone knows like a rough price, that'd be a huge help!
I'm conflicted now. I dont know what to do.
So in the last few months I came to terms with the fact I am trans mtf. I've been a "guy" all my life and hid and denied that deep down I always wanted to be a girl, should have been born a girl, even have some effeminate features. I'm convinced that even if didnt want to be a girl, I have a hormone imbalance or something. I've lived my life trying to be masculine and everything a guy should be to blend in. but it never made me happy
I would say I've been depressed or overly diphoric but I didnt feel right, but made due with being a guy.
I'm attracted to women, had several realtionship with cis women that all went to shit probly because they felt I wasnt open with them, but I knew none of them would want to stay together or even accept me if i told them. Never dated a trans women, eventhough I find them ridiculously attractive.
before thanksgiving i decided my new years resolution was to get off my ass and get on HRT and start transition. the idea alone makes me happier. I've been slimming down and losing weight, growing my hair out and shaving my legs for months. I ordered meds to self medicate til I feel comfortable telling my DR. Well they arrived today, I have them I could start taking them right now! but I'm conflicted because I've had a crush on this girl I see on almost a daily basis, and today she really seemed happy to see me and I'm pretty sure she was flirting with me. I havent been looking for anything relationship while I've been planning transition. but she seems to like "guy me" I'm tempted to ask her out but dont want to go down the same road agian and start anything that will just end horribly when I have to come out, or change course and hide again ( I really dont want to do that ) these are two things I want but i dont feel they will be compatible.
Sorry for venting I just dont know what to do anymore
when I go to conventions I always crossplay, even though at the end of the day I have quite a serious beard shadow
I don't mind that much, I know I don't pass and I'd just like to forget about that stuff sometimes
serious answer: get lasered.
Unfortunately, laser's not an option currently due to some circumstances. I was hoping more for an option with makeup or something similar.
Thanks for the response though. Makes me feel less nervous. Its part of a group though so I'd like to try and make it as well done as everyone else's
Well, I did it. My cousin was very helpful and supportive, I'm pretty happy with the results. I don't think the pictures do it justice.
If you're trans, then transitioning is worth sacrificing a possible romantic relationship for. You're going so far as taking illegally ordered hormones to make your body as feminine as possible because of the dysphoria you feel; it's not something you can just ignore.
If you're lucky she'll be bisexual and willing to pursue a relationship with you after transition.
if you encourage people to self med please recommend for them to get their blood work done too so they check actual hormonal levels. the dosages that are recommended can vary heavily depending on the person because medicine is like that.
Mtf, 1 year hrt.
Just started college in august. away from home and I'm really bad at making new friends, girlfriends esspecially. I do get more attention from some guys, but I havent been letting them get to close out of fear of them finding me out(no dating yet).
so far only two straight guys i told, but werent interested in dating me.(i totally got friendzoned) but they've been very cool and kept it secret. I can make guy friends easy enough, I'm coming off as kind of a tomboy to them I guess, which is fine for now. at least they think I'm a girl. I'm having trouble making female friends. Me not dating guys has made a few girls assume I was a lesbian, and then there have been more than a few that were straight up bitches. So thats not going well.
I have come to terms with being Transgender 100% and I am embracing it.
I have amazing friends and family, and coming to terms with this (I am 25, found out I was this way since I was little.)
Advice anon? I am starting lower body exercises as well as practicing my new voice.
Ever since I discovered who i am, it answered so many questions, and I'm working towards to becoming the person I want to be.
Pic is me. Let me know what you think. I just got to exercise more and eat better, but any recommendations for being as close to cute as possible?
I was self-medicated (perlutal every 15~18 days plus spiro 50/day) with good results but my sister (who used to inject me) is moving. I never been manly and i have no erections, i'm planning to take 1 pill of 2gm Primogyn every second day, would be enough?? I mean technically would be more estrogens than i used to, right??
How long would I have to be on hormones to get a body like this?
I mean it's not really cosplay but we're doing Steins;Gate one day and my friends want me to go as Ruka. It's just the facial hair I need gone, the rest I can deal with.
My original costume was Mettaton EX.
Good idea to steer away from Mettaton...
Undertale is gonna be cosplayed to hell this year... Unless yours was REALLY outstanding I'd just be drowned out by the other 50 Mettatons that will no doubt be there...
I should do a cosplay for Anime North...it's been so long since I watched anime I'd have no idea what to do...
I actually really liked Mettaton(always liked robot characters), but found Undertale as a whole really disappointing compared to other 'earthbound inspired' games.
And back on topic, has anyone tried depilatory cream for the face? Would that be a possible twmp solution until later is an option?
Of course it does; it takes time for them to grow. It doesn't determine their maximum size though; that depends on genetics and the age you started at. It's very unlikely you'll have breasts like that unless you start very young and you happen to have the right genes for it.
This isn't something that can be guaranteed or easily quantifiable. Much of it has to do with genetics.
Also how thin the waist is has a lot to do with bone structure, in addition to fat and muscle of course. I have very little fat or muscle on my waist so I wouldn't expect it to get any smaller on HRT for example.
Before I couldn't wait to get on HRT and transition, but now that I'm all ready for blockers, I'm suddenly extremely nervous and slightly reluctant. Why is this?
Has anyone had SRS and also had type 1 diabetes? It takes me way longer to heal my wounds than normal people, and I'm worried if I get SRS or a trachea shave it won't end up healing right. I've a spot on my upper lip for five weeks now, that's how shit having diabetes is.
I have an appointment with a psychologist. I explained to them that my reason for going is for hormones, but I wasn't asked to elaborate on that. What should I expect? They're just going to ask some questions and then give me a script for HRT, right? I have a doctor's note with a diagnosis if required.
"Hormones" as in, you specified it was for transsexual HRT? What country?
In the UK you need 2 doctor's opinions to get a prescription. If you already have 1, then presumably you could have a small number of sessions with this psychologist to confirm the diagnosis (going into it with a lot of information and an existing diagnosis); making it a confirmation more than anything), and then you would be able to get a referral to an endocrinologist.
All I said is "hormones." That's literally it. I should've elaborated to prevent complications (I have to wait a month before seeing the psychologist) but I'm still in the closet, even with my doctors.
Does the endo come after the psych visit? I was just thinking I should schedule an appointment with an endo now instead of later because I know that's going to be another month of waiting.
A few questions:
Still pretty sure this new ihp cypro is a dud... woke up all hot with a raging erection and have had other half hard ones the past 2 weeks. I even went from 50 MG to 100 MG with no change.
Boobs still ache though.
do I need to fast or anything before T blood test? Can I just see a regular gp about it?
The gyno who does my shit is 4 hours about way and I can have labs faxed but ive never done this before.
10 months hrt, ~8 months cypro and now suddenly minor erections daily with the new ihp generic at double dose
I'm getting my cpro from pharmacys directly, and they are no ruse 200% sure. this happens to me from time to time too. i don't think it's anything you need to worry about. still, to feel safe get bloodwork done. oh, and be careful with upping to 100%, had a huge impact on my liver despite not helping at all (eyes turned yellow and so on)
I'm live in California and ordered from QHI, how long should I expect to wait for the package to come, it got shipped Friday. I need to be prepared and quickly get the package before my parents see it or I'm screwed.
I've been reading some interesting results from people who have used PM. how effective is it compared to prescription hrt meds?
I'm curious about it because it seems to yield fast results in breast development and body feminization.