READ THE OP
FtMg: Fuck Edition
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
Google Hangout: TBA
Goddamnit you lazy fucks can't one of you make the thread before it dies while I'm not here.
> table top gaming
You just made a friend in me, anon.
And yeah, that's actually something that for me into investigating this. People who proclaimed being trans or gay acting far differently to those I ran into incidentally (and others I assume I met but were stealth). It's interesting for a few reasons, actually. Even that people who are just stealth/keep it on the down low being common is hugely reassuring in that I'm not getting it wrong to assume they exist.
And yeah, I think like support groups, if you have supportive friends and info, aren't necessarily worth the emotional investment.
Dude. Pus after surgery? Go see trustworthy doctor, or ring the surgeon. Any kind of pus can be a sign of infection and you don't have the training to know if it's okay. Do not mess around with post surgery recovery. Surgery is serious.
now that I'm off work I can properly shit post.
Finally found a top surgeon that will take payment plans and is in town.
Now I just have to lose weight because im fat as fuck
good morning ftmg
what are you all doing right now besides shitposting
also opinions on pic related
I'm studying calc and listening to music,
and as far the pic goes it just makes me sad and really angry. I've been meaning to read the book about Reimer and his life but haven't gotten around to it yet.
>out at a bar with roommate and a friend of hers
>randomly see older dude I work with
>say hello to be polite
>he proceeds to tell us all how crazy and funny it is that I'm peeing in the same bathroom with the guys at work now
>calls me "heshe" several times while almost bouncing with his enthusiasm
>"You know, I'm actually more attracted to you now, but not like, in a gay way."
>"How'd you get your voice lower?"
>Talks all about my shit in the most cringey and hamfisted of ways while my roommate and her friend look on in horror
I was too fucking embarrassed to do more than polite-force-end the convo. I just. Fuck's sake. I'm finally starting to pass, dude, don't ruin this for me.
The highlight of the convo was definitely when he mentioned another coworker complaining of the bathroom situation, to which his reasonable response was "well, at least it's not a GAY guy, right?" Which was apparently an acceptable answer. Guess it's good that I don't have it on blast that I'm bi. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Some do, some don't. We're all individuals like any other human being.
Answer my questions? Thanks.
>In which ways are you masculine?
>In which ways are you feminine?
>How bad is dysphoria (1-10) ?
>Did you change your name (under what circumstances) before passing?
>Do you consider yourself a "real man"?
It is what it is, brother. There's a chance you've even met a ftm and you'd of never known it because we can pass so well after being on testosterone for a good while.
I'm bisexual myself. I'm pretty 50/50 on men and women. Most ftm you'll see around here will be bi or gay, but outside of 4chan most will likely be straight and were lesbians before transitioning.
I was just rusing tbqh.
I met one before. A very social person that had a 9/10 gf. Very charismatic person who understood that they stood out and that their lifestyle wasn't the norm. A good hearted person tbvh.
I have only ever met one though and I am sure they are more common. Not sure why you would all want to be men lol it's tough being a man.
It's not about "wanting" to be men. We're faced with dysphoria. We don't feel right being in a woman's body. Tits, hips, fat thighs, high voice. They all feel completely fucking wrong being on me. It literally has nothing to do with what I want, because if I had a choice I would prefer to be a cis girl, but I'm not so I make due and do what I can to be comfortable in my body.
I understand ive talked to many mtfs about their dysphoria so I have a feel for what you mean. I know youre going to make it tho...Do you exercise at all? If I am going to be here I might as well try to help with /fit/ stuff. I also am trying to get free test tbqh...
It's tough being a woman too, in a lot of ways that a guy is unlikely to consider.
I used to feel really weird about it, when I was still questioning, like I was just giving up on being a chick because it was too hard and being a guy was easy-mode. The women in my family are pretty hardcore- my mom is an ex-military officer and is still going strong in the corporate world, while remaining femme as fuck. It felt kinda like I was just trying to seek the weaker option.
I do a lot of cardio and my job has me moving around a lot, so it's not bad.
One of my many goals for 2016 is to get a bit more fit though, so any advice is more than welcome, friendo.
Different anon here, is the fastest way to start to hire a pt in a gym? I'm too self conscious to run around in the neighbourhood/parks whatever.
If I could self med I would
Honestly I would recommend going to /fit/ and using the sticky. They are generally really helpful for a lot of different things. I suggest going on Starting Strength and doing the 3x5 routine. I would do 3x8. I wouldn't ever hire a personal trainer tbqh because they are a rip off and you can teach yourself everything on the internet.
I know that was general advice but if you have specific questions I will try to answer.
Everyone has a tough life even if you're a six ft 9 guy with a huge penis or a 10/10 female. Obviously they have more oppourtiunites but they still can get caught up in drugs or not learning from their mistakes. Lifes hard for all of us tbqh.
Eh, to be quite honest with you, you have a very, very small window of growing at all. Women stop growing extremely early on, starting T later than maybe 15ish is hell for us because our bones have already fused into place.
I'm turning 27 soon, just starting T and I'm only 5'3". I think it's time to start counting your blessings and working with what you have.
Personally I only like men. But it differs from person to person.
>In which ways are you masculine?
Way of thinking, way of dressing, little bit looks since I'm pre-T. Working on the walk now, I find I'm tending to walk more with my knees than with my hips now.
>In which ways are you feminine?
Mannerisms, body shape (super hourglass, big hips). Also I'm like 5'5" :^(
>How bad is dysphoria (1-10) ?
Usually like a 2-3 ish. I don't get too much of it often since my mirror cuts off my hips and my face is pretty manly, but I remember having to wear makeup for something and looking in the mirror and being like an 8. Had to take it off right away.
>Did you change your name (under what circumstances) before passing?
Haven't changed name yet, but have "passed" accidentally with nothing.
>Do you consider yourself a "real man"?
Eeeeeh. Not now, definitely. Maybe someday, but I'll probably always think of myself as "became a man" rather than "I was always a man".
Floor routines can be intimidating if you're new to regular exercise. Get a gym membership (one with AC if you're in a hot country, cold = better), and start 3 days a week/every 2nd day. Exercise bike and rowing machine is the easiest cardio to start with - also least embarrassing. Don't be afraid to exercise in regular clothes if you're self-conscious, gymwear is optional. Weights machines are generally self explanatory for the single purpose ones. Don't start with free weights. Find a weight on a machine that you can do 10 reps with, without straining super hard. Do that a bunch of times, until you can't do it anymore. Repeat with rest days and a non-awful diet (protip: protein and carbs) and you'll start to get some muscle. This is slower than crashing into supplements and structured workouts, but it's also more sustainable and eases you into the idea of regulated exercise.
Then you start doing flexibility, managing your diet more, etc, but a simple routine will at least get you started, and starting while you do the research gives you a lot more motivation to actually put that research into practice.
>became a man
This makes sense to me. That's a description of dysphoria, right? That you 'should' be a man but aren't.
not necessarily... he was at a bar and likely drunk, and if he does say weird shit at work then they can actually say something at work... 'til then they just know what he thinks and can't do shit...
what he could've done was told him off in the bar, but if he didn't well... missed opportunity, but you can't run to your boss for shit your coworker says outside of work...
how do you guys deal with hormonal mood swings before period and how the fuck do you keep from cutting yourself or mutilate your genitals
I'm going to fucking carve that disgusting thing out of there I can't fucking stand this
>tfw desperate to be loved and shown affection
>the only thing available is fuckboys
>run out of energy, no longer emotionally capable of selling sex for faked attention
So, due to some wires being crossed at my doctor's office, I ended up with a prescription for testosterone cream.
I've heard it's shit (from my previous doctor no less), but my current doctor highly recommended it. Does anyone have any experience with it? Would you recommend it?
Thanks in advance.
I forgot to mention: I already have some injectible T. So the alternative isn't nothing.
Part of the reason I'm apprehensive is because I've had decent results with the injectible stuff so far, and I'm worried I'll lose ground. However, if I could avoid having to give myself shots, that would be nice.
Do I get my man card revoked if I get involved in - and genuinely mad a bout - stupid tumblr fandom drama?
As a cis guy i've had this happen but about other topics. People expressing the most fucking retarded whatever because either they're drunk or they are just horrible human beings and have decided you are their friend due to mistaking politeness for camaraderie. Enough rage that it's left me literally shaking trying to calm down.
And yeah, there's nothing you can do. Unless they were drunk and the type to be embarassed about it the next day, at which point you can make them at least feel a little bad, there's nothing much you can do. Maybe if you're good at office politics, get them fired? But that's a hollow victory at best.
Just have to realize a lot of people didn't actually grow up and are faking it, and pledge to do better.
The worst thing about that situation is it sounds like that guy thought he was being supportive.
I'm trans gay and autistic and tumblr fucking offends me
How come non-transgender men don't seem to care about FtM but non-transgender women AND non-transgender men go apeshit over MtF?
I'm getting very bothered by this and I can't stop thinking about it.
I'm never sure if it's just our 4chan sensibilities talking or if Tumblr really is a strange and terrible place. Though I feel like we are more well-versed in their culture than they are in ours.
People who are bigoted don't think of FtM as actually male. They think of them as females dressing in male clothing, which they find acceptable/hot.
MtF they see as males dressing in women's clothing (reversal of power dynamic, which makes someone pathetic/disgusting (see: sissification fetish)) and being gay, which turns them from relative allies/competitors into potential rapists. The fear of being 'turned into a woman' as part of the whole authoritarian men>women power relationship is a pretty strong motivator.
There's a complicated whole societal thing with gender and accepted gender roles/power relationships, and it's very complicated, and full of people claiming many things, but what it boils down to is that certain actions, while similar to other actions, are considered worse because they interact with the beliefs people hold (largely unconsciously) about how you SHOULD act if you are a certain gender.
Like skyscrapers, amirite? Fuck those gigantic buildings.
i actually don't like sunflowers cuz of how big they are... the seeds when they're in the flower just look really nasty... idk they're fucking weird
i like trees and dinner plate dahlias and shit though... but yeah, fuck sunflowers they're too big
I think being angry at sunflowers kind of sums up the FTM condition. Small, inferiority complex, full of anger with no outlet so fuck it, sunflowers are fucking assholes. Row row fight the flower.
Possibly this is due to you, a transguy, being the SO. Mothers-in-law kinda have a reputation.
Better a flower than like, a person. Anything that stops you taking out anger on a person is pretty much a positive thing. Me, i'll beat up a bag, and i've broken my hand against a wall before because it was just the better choice. I've also lost it at people enough that I won't ever forgive myself.
So yeah, sunflowers.
oh nah, i never told her... i'm pre-everything and she already hates me and is weird as shit about me... never wanted to give her the ammo
it's a lot easier to deal with someone making comments about how not feminine your body is while they grab at you (and she has physically just kinda touched me grabbed my ass and whatnot to tell me how i don't have one etc) being a transguy, than to sit around and have them insult the person you actually are you know?
i'm glad he went no contact with that narcissist (literally, she's a text book case of narcissism) cunt though...
+ i mean... i don't like being groped by a gross old bitch, but when everything is all "you don't even hips," "you're really flat chested," etc it's like "eh could be worse?" you know?
i can bite my tongue and not start shit when it's something like that, but if she just straight up was saying that ignorant shit she'd go on about at me... idk... i feel like i probably would've lost my temper and nah... i wouldn't wanna do that to my s/o or his siblings no matter how shit she is you know?
I had a jerk comment on my flat chest once too, I was binding but no trans hints. I suddenly had to scramble to think of what real humans would say in the situation but got nothing. Went for "well observed".
lol nice response
i actually wasn't binding the most recent time... but i don't have much to begin with (i just bind cuz it helps with dysphoria), so i was just kinda sitting on the couch smoking and she was talking about her tits for whatever reason and was just like "oh but you don't know you have nothing there" and then some other comment about that and i was just like
"yeah, i'm fine with that"
which she didn't like, hearing anyone say they're ok with something about themselves/their body she thinks they shouldn't be ok with drives her fucking crazy... she's deeply insecure and has had tons of plastic surgery (bad plastic surgery too, she stole money from her kids' bank accounts to go to shit doctors) and shit so she just puts down everyone she meets and sees as a chick... like the second she sees anyone she tears into them
Why do you WANT to fight a person? Unless they're a person who fights a lot, and so are you, it's awful and it does things to your mind.
>lean in close
>"i'll rip off your dick and feed it to you, you little bitch"
>go on your way
So what, she discussed transguys and her feelings on transguys without prompting? That's weird as fuck. I've literally never heard mainstream people bring it up on their own. I'm not sure they even know transguys exist.
That situation is kind of my nightmare, though. I hate self censoring, but on the other hand, getting angry at people is the opposite of what I want. Even if they deserve it.
People sage in this thread, actually, to avoid the front page trolling I believe.
Question: I tend to call people gender-inappropriate shit just because, not always, but sometimes. I avoid doing this around FtM and MtF because it seems dickish given the amount of shit they get inherently. Is this appropriate behaviour.
I run tabletop games on skype sometimes, we should hook up.
yeah, she's done it more than once too actually... like just out of nowhere starts ranting like that, transguys aren't and can never be "real men" but she thinks transgirls post hrt and shit are women...
i think one time it had context cuz she seen this dyke my s/o's cousin grew up with, and was like "i think she's one of those trans men" and just went off, but like... i remember another time where we were watching the news and nothing trans related was on or anything and she started with that... and it doesn't matter how little interest people around her show, or whether or not they disagree... she just goes off with shit
i actually won't fight with her and tell her what i think cuz all of it would be undeniably true, and none of it is good... and like, they've grown up watching her fight with everyone... cops getting involved constantly (in their schools, in doctor's offices, she had the cops called on her for standing in the door of a bus screaming cuz she was insisting someone stole her empty 99 cent wallet...specifically this muslim guy she was calling a terrorist and screaming about beheadings) she fights with everyone on their block, and has gone outside putting crazy fucking letters on the trees and shit about the woman across the street... just like... all this embarrassing shit, and i'd never want to actively contribute to it by yelling at her...
she made it fucking damn hard though... but i haven't had to deal with her in a while
Do you guys get dysphoric about your boy cavities or do you guys prefer going back door?
Ive never really chased an ftm tbqh...
I mean, I have friends that do that to me, and I do it to them (none of them are trans), I don't give a fuck. If they obviously know that I'm a guy, I'm not gonna care.
How do tabletop games + Skype work?
Its not all that small. It got overrated how small it was. I thought it was four inches but it's actually 5.5.
If you don't want penetration id be fine with that tbqh...
Maybe once in a while wherever you feel comfortable. I might pressure you though to get very lewd tbqh...
Plus I know what im doing with it.
Ahh so everyone is different. Im just curious about the similarities between ftm and mtf. I know a decent amount about mtf and how they think.
Im really bad at getting lewd because Im really shy and insecure
I stopped doing it to trans people after a few trans people were obviously bothered by it. Weird. I'm really not normally someone who modifies their behaviour like that, but I guess I felt it was warranted.
Skype + tabletop - weirdly, and often badly. But I learned how after I joined an online shadowrun group, and then I left that group because drama and ugh, drama. And it's okay, and it scratches the itch, and half of my dnd group are overseas and our schedules are ass to try to work out, so. You use roll20 for dice/maps, group call, make notes/ooc stuff in the text area of the skype call, etc.
Why is that entitled pokemonrape when ash is pretty clearly into whatever is going on back there.
That's fine...just close your eyes and daddy will do the rest tbqh...
Yeah, I mean, I think I'm probably an outlier when it comes to a lot of these things concerning being trans. I am only uncomfortable with being misgendered when I know it comes from a place of someone thinking I'm actually a girl or someone deliberately misgendering me. Otherwise, it's just a funny throwaway joke made by a friend and idgaf.
That sounds... Interesting, lol. I'm very new to most games and I think DnD is way too involved for me. I mean, the amount of time it took to set up my character when I tried to be a part of a campaign a while back was infuriating. It'd probably help if I started a game with people I actually liked, though.
straight men don't care what other men do, or what anyone who they're not interested in fucking do.
straight men are scared of accidentally fucking an mtf or doing something accidentally gay, and most straight women think they're creepy and dangerous, unless they're young and passable
Making characters generally consumes an entire session, and a lot of systems you kinda need to know the mechanics before it starts being fun as otherwise you spend too much time discussing mechanics and too little on the story. Also there's just.. a lot of awful roleplayers, and others where you'll only have fun with them if you're the exact same kind. It's uh.. not for the faint of heart. Starting a game with people you like/get along with even if they know nothing about it is generally superior to finding people who've done it a lot, because 'experience' isn't actually necessarily a good thing. I've got a good track record with new players, which I blame largely on witchcraft and diabolism.
I mean, I mostly do it because it's fucking addictive as hell.
It's an affectation that indicates confidence. I find it deeply unattractive, but like shit like saying 'daddy will take care of it', I guess there's a kind of person who likes that sort of thing.
I uh. I'd really suspect that she knows you're trans and is/was doing that as a passive aggressive thing. I really can't imagine any other circumstance where that would happen. I just can't imagine a regular, even crazy, sort of person even thinking about transguys at all.
Hey, I was wondering if I can make a simple packer (mr limpy) into a stp and play one.
for the stp I'll use some 1/4 inch tubing and 1 angled nipple.
I was thinking to make it stiff, was put some pvc( or maybe another material) tubing in the middle, so the stp tube doesn't come out of it's way, and the packer doesn't break off so easily. it's the red part on the drawing
it's this a good idea or bad?
>>5527196 same person here
I just don't know how into roleplaying I am! It's hard to know if you'll like it if you haven't had a decent experience with it.
(i totally agree about the tbqh thing. It's like, forcing a persona of confidence when, to me, it just kind of demonstrates that a person is trying too hard to be ~cool~ by being blunt and forthright to an edgy degree)
No I feel not everybody likes the daddy thing but its still fun to say for whatever reason tbqh...
I understand if someone isn't into it.
I don't know. I think it sounds like you're saying something than along with the elipsisses it just leaves an impression...
That's a really long time for a relationship. Even a friendship tbvh.
i honestly really think if she thought i was trans she'd point out the shit about my appearance that's feminine insult me rather than constantly point out how unfeminine she thinks i am... she chooses things to try to make people uncomfortable you know?
and idk... the part of brooklyn my s/o and i are from is real lgbt friendly and shit... i grew up right up the block from two gay bars and there's like fucking pride parades and fairs etc right in the area... so it's impossible to be there and unaware...
there's a transguy who lives across the street from her too...
God, I hate it when people use the ellipses too, haha. To me, it just leaves the "impression" that the person is trailing off in an awkward/uncomfortable manner, or that they're over dramatic/over emotional. In my mind, it's just supposed to be a longer pause than a comma. It took me so damn long to get used to the fact that Brooklyn (ftmg regular, uses far too many ellipses) just talks like that all the time.
To each his own, though.
I flirt way more than I should tbqh irl and online I just go by with what works tbqh. Blame the human brain not maki :^ )
I mean, it's definitely doable; I remember seeing a youtube video a couple years back that was a pretty good, in depth explanation of how to do it, and unfortunately, I can't find it at the moment.
Basically, heat up a screwdriver of a good thickness on the stove and shove it through the packer. The heat will help you slice through the material super easily, then you can do whatever with your other materials. Just don't, like, inhale the fumes or whatever. Good luck, man.
yeah... sometimes i think about how long it's been and i find it kinda crazy... i've known him even longer than we've been dating... more than half my life, we were best friends for 4 years first + i knew him for a couple years before we got close
before we met we had a shitton of mutual friends who were always telling us both about how we needed to meet, and how we'd get along so well etc ... ended up meeting separate from all that (we technically met twice) and well... yeah... they were right we do get along
Well, maybe then. Eh. Some people think that trans people are trans purely because they 'can't' be the gender they biologically are, so they'd use that as an insult.. If you're in an area with a lot of lgbt stuff going on then yeah. I could see that. honestly thinking about this is depressing me. Dis world.
I was pretty on the fence until I hit up a roleplaying convention (they're different here in aus than most places) and played some fucking sweet games and then I was like, hooked. The combination of storywriting and induced imagination hits me harder than any high, pulls me in harder than any but the best PC games or movies (and i'm a fan of good movies, too), that story becomes fleshed out and more REAL than otherwise, so even a weird little tale becomes something transcendent, done right. It's hard to find a good group for it, though. If the personalities don't click, the magic evaporates.
Oh, and I like making the tiny little people with thoughts and feelings. That bit is aces.
I've got a lot of acquaintances. But actual friends, very few. And those people I will die still being friends with. Same for anyone I have ever loved.
Couldn't do it any other way.
There's an affective use of ellipsis, or overuse, to indicate that the person is doing that sort of breathy, dreamy sort of way of speaking, where everything is a possssssibillittttyyyyy maaaaaaaaannnn..... etc.
As a fan of language, though, I just use it to indicate a longer than normal pause without the connotations of a full stop or; a semicolon. You're implying there's more to say, but you're leaving it unsaid. The bad thing is when people do that with everything, because they have nothing to say, and are implying they do.
I think I was hooked after, in a horror game set on a spaceship, my imaginary dude heard a noise, and stopped with his gun pointed in front of him, and looked back, and this all happened independent of anything anyone else was saying or doing, and in my head, for that moment, I was that guy, and not sitting at a table surrounded by nerds.
And when you say or do something that makes it more real, and other people do as well, the looks on people's faces, the excitement in their voices, it all feeds back. It's a mental trick, but an insanely powerful one. Just gets into you and turns you into someone else for a bit. And that has value. For me, at least.
No problem dude.
I responded to you twice, separately, not knowing both responses were yours, and then you responded to both of mine in one and the conversation clicked for me. Ugh I'm so dumb.
Anyways, daaaaaaaaaaamn that sounds fun. I hadn't considered the horror aspect of it. I've been getting into that genre more recently.
Horror games are the hardest to run. Sort of like how horror is hard to write/shoot. Gotta calibrate people to the right level of scared, but not so scared their brain shuts down. That guy, who ran the game, is probably the best GM in Sydney. I'm a big fan of his, actually.
And yeah, that's one of the good/bad things about 4chan I guess, the anonymous conversations. Only that comment was me, though, i'm not the tbqh guy. I'm the dislikes-tbqh-guy guy. Guy.
Yeah. I'ma get some coffee.
Jeez. I forget how much of a community there is around this stuff. Actually, recently, I got to go to a comics/puzzles/games store that was pretty rad, saw a lot of people sitting at reserved tables playing Munchkin and DnD and whatnot. What other games do you like?
Who ya callin' guy, pal? But yeah, in general I can differentiate writing styles (like with Brooklyn!) but sometimes there's just no telling who is who.
Have fun w/ your coffee, guy. :p
Definitely not worth it. Everyone has been really low-key about my transitioning at work (or at least to my face, apparently, which, okay, yeah, I can handle that.) Besides, it was in off-hours, it's not really their business or anything to do WITH the business.
Yeah, I did miss the opportunity. I don't handle people well, especially when I'm on the spot, so I tried to polite my way out of the situation because it's all I've been trained to do.
What feels so weird and fucked up about it was that he honestly seemed so enthused and excited about it and possibly for me??? That or he was being a creepy fuck. As he is, in all else, kind of a creepy fuck, it would not surprise me if that were the case. Maybe a little of column A and column B.
I don't work any shifts with him so it's not going to be a huge problem at work, I just have to either talk to him about it or hope to god I don't encounter him again outside of work.
>it sounds like that guy thought he was being supportive.
I'm starting to think he really fucking did. I just. I need to figure out how to sit him down and try to figure out how to tell him "HOLY FUCK NO DON'T DO THAT."
Probably this means he'll bitch about me later because when sober, he is a creature designed to complain, but if it means it doesn't happen again, it'd be worth it.
I... did not get that vibe, really.
Honestly I'm pretty sure his interest in me at the time had more to do with the fact I was sitting with my roommate and her coworker, aka, two hot chicks. So, wahey, time to come over and do a little of that there work gossip and try to insert himself into the conversation!
This talk of tabletop RPGs is killing me. I recently came out to and, necessarily, broke up with my long-time (very heterosexual) boyfriend, and the breakup left me completely alienated. I've exiled myself from our friendly local gaming store and awesome D&D group so that he can continue to go there and not have it be awful and awkward. I feel fucking horrible about breaking up with this guy, so I'm trying to leave him with just about everything. I'm trying to make a clean break and completely start over, but some parts of my old life are proving very painful to leave behind.
I haven't been back to the gaming store since I cut off my hair and started T. I miss it so much. It was starting to feel like a second home, and going and playing D&D there was literally the only positive social activity I've ever engaged in during my near-decade of "adulthood." I wish I could go back there and be "one of the guys" with the D&D bros I used to play with, but I'm sure I'll always be "[my ex]'s weird ex" to them, and I don't want to make it weird. I was the only alleged non-male who played D&D there on a regular basis, and I never went without my ex. I don't think I'll ever be able to shed that old identity and go back there, and it's really getting me down.
This town is definitely big enough for the both of us, so I know I need to just get over it, but I can't stop thinking that maybe I should move to a different city entirely. This is my fucking home, though. My ex was the transplant.
Thanks. Yeah, there are some smaller stores farther away, but I don't have a car, and my ex goes to some of those stores, too. He DMs, so everyone around here knows him now. I have to be careful or I'm going to get sucked back into online gaming (ex-addict here). I've been so tempted lately, but I'm trying to focus on fitness and shit instead.
>Only get dysphoria sometimes
>when i get it its pretty bad tho
>rest of the time im ok with being a female
>fit in better with dykes than ftm
>i think the dysphoria is coming more often
>it would fuck up family/friend relationships if transitioned
>dont want to be a man without a dick
>absolutely not going to burden society with the genderfluiddemiboy bullshit
So I should just suck it up right??
just get on t already, don't waste your time worrying about your relationships or obsessing over labels. dysphoria doesn't just go away permanently, and it can't be suppressed either so stop trying
Yeah i dont know wtf im doing with my life. My friendships matter to me though because I already lost a ton of friends by getting into lots of fights last year, so the people I have left after my bullshit I've worked hard to keep in my life. Im just wondering if the cons outweigh the pros. Its not like ill ever have a dick so my thinking is, why make things harder on myself??
Well yeah but my dysphoria will never be gone without a dick, so if i had to choose..
> 7/10 dysphoria with decent life and friends and sex
> 5/10 dysphoria with shit everything because of being trans
Id pick the good life and just deal with the occasional heart sinking feeling i guess
Im going to sleep friend, thanks for talking with me. Maybe ill come back tomorrow.
Nah, I don't have to. It's just really awkward. I was dating that guy for nearly a third of my life, and I still love him like crazy. He's such a good person that I feel like everyone's going to hate me for "doing this to him," though. I'm also extremely insecure about my appearance right now, and I'm hoping that, once I've been on T for longer, I'll have the confidence to start re-entering the world.
Cis male scum here, I have a question. Do you guys get a lot of chasers like trans women so often do?
I find that interesting. Men generally develop FTM fetishes because they're more comfortable around dicks, but I wonder what would cause somebody to develop a MTF fetish. Especially if they identify as gay and go on Grindr.
I guess I can't really talk though since I have am cursed with an unreasonably strong attraction to butch tomboys.
Anyway, thanks for the answer.
I was on tumblr for a long time, trust me, it's a fucking shithole of insanity.
One time, some random tumblr user (who is black) made a post about how it's fine if you're white, and you shouldn't feel bad if other racist assholes give you a bad reputation. The entire website went up in fucking flames, and basically told the black guy he was wrong.
Now, this is tumblr, the social justice warrior white knight faggotry homeland chaulk full to the brim with 12 year old girls hellbent on saving the world from sexist white male supremacy, and they straight up went full retard and silenced a person of color because "they know better" than him.
It's just fucking pants on head level of pure autism.
Well, see, i'd disagree with that guy too. There's all kinds of discrimination and shit, against nearly every type of category of person. All of it has awful bits. This period of history will (if the species survives) be looked on with the same scorn we look at victorians or medieval period people with. As a civilization of cultures, we have a long fucking way to go.
But y'know, i'm certain their reasons weren't about the enlightenment of man and the need to push forward or anything but instead uh, stupider ones. Like, absolutely certain. Not because tumblr, but because people (currently) hate complexity and shrill outcry is nearly always - in fact entirely always - of the stupid variety.
In Straya the sun never sets on her Majesty's glorious Commonwealth.
God Save the Queen.
In terms of RPGs, Ars Magica, Rapture, Eclipse Phase, Shadowrun. DnD, partially for nostalgia reasons, partially because it is it's own thing now, a primal monster of a genre that just won't die. I haven't played anything else except in one-shots and con games, although in one-shots and con games i've played nearly everything.
Sorry to get you down mang. But like I said, it doesn't have to stop there. If you enjoy it, you can probably find some other people to game with. It won't be the same, but it might still be good, you know?
<3 you too...
i suppose that could be it... idk, my s/o thinks it's directed at him which is more likely... in spite of her knowing me since i was young she doesn't actually know me, and as dumb as it sounds i know how she tends to think and i usually have long hair so... yeah nah...
we're open cuz we've been together from a really young age, so we've never wanted to deny each other possible experiences outside of each other since most people get that normally... when someone is your first nearly everything, and then you're together throughout your life and monogamous... doesn't leave room for any other experiences you know? which isn't particularly appealing...
+ i don't think i'd ever be 100% capable of monogamy... like, i can go for long stretches of time and be fine with it, but then someone's gonna come along and shit just kinda ends up where it ends up
i prefer sharing though, like him and i dating someone together or even just threesomes are preferable to pursuing someone else and having it be me and them separate from him...
honestly, i'd just avoid it completely if i were you and hope it was just him being drunk and stupid... it's easier than making a big deal out of it days after it happened you know? especially cuz you won't have to deal with him at work...
Trying to fix people who are passive aggressive when you
>don't handle people well
is like learning breakdancing in a minefield. I'd not recommend it.
The way to handle it would be to regretfully take him aside the very next day and tell him that generally trans people prefer that people just treat them like regular people of that gender and not to discuss it unless absolutely necessary. And that chatting about it is a bit of a social faux pas. Like you wish you didn't have to inform him, but you're doing him a solid and letting him know. A 'dude, your fly is undone' sort of moment.
Monogamy is pretty much a construct of jealous people clinging onto relationships. It's an extremely common thing, and not worse than other 'stuff people do', but it's not inbuilt to our neural structure or anything. Not being monogamous isn't bad as long as it's not weird. Like one party wants nonmonogamy and the other doesn't or something.
yeah i think it's something that needs to be mutually agreed on and revisited... i don't see anything wrong with someone preferring it, but it's not my thing and i'm open about that... and like if someone is interested they know about my s/o and vice versa cuz i don't want someone who doesn't get that when i go home it's to him and not them and all that shit...
It always bugs me that people care when famous people die, who live better lives than most people, but not when those who live shit lives die. I get why it happens. Still bugs me.
It's interesting, especially to people from other places, lot of tourist traps though. I'd say just rent a hilux and go out bush, but people from other continents do not understand basic outback survival shit like 'don't go swimming in the waterhole', 'don't pick up the wooden thing with the concealed underside with your bare hand in redback country', 'don't go driving down some road you don't know with no radio, not much gas, and no water', etc.
Amazing surfing if you surf. Melbourne's pretty rad. Good parties if you know where to go. Pretty wilderness, lots of different kinds, although spread out.
Dunno how common it is. Tourists, man. Like actual lemmings.
It causes some degree of friction with people, because it's not the norm, and anything outside the norm people will derp around and not know the appropriate thing to do.
But people act like there needs to be a 'reason' for it, and you don't need a big dark secret reason to do something completely reasonable. The pressure of normality is largely illusory.
It's funny to have to say that on 4chan's lgbt board, heh.
yeah i'm pretty used to explaining it to people, been doing it for years... and the occasional "oh your relationship doesn't count" or "so not a real relationship" or "i guess you aren't enough for each other" or "i need to be enough for someone" or like comments about how we must not really love each other etc
i feel pretty whatever about it though desu... i mean, i know my feelings and i know his, and we've been really close for a long time... like going on family vacations and shit with each other before we were dating... we were like siblings before anything, and that sentiment is still there... so there's some level of unconventional emotions i suppose, but that's part of why i call him my s/o and not my bf or even my fiance in spite of us being engaged for years (we always talk about getting married, and then we just haven't... but he's talking about it again and more seriously cuz of all my health issues, so within the year we might actually do that) cuz we plan on spending our lives together, but not with the shit that tends to come with those labels...
i'd rather do something that works for me than what people think i should do... cuz i just really don't give a shit about what other people think for the most part, there's no need for it unless they're gonna live my life for me...
it's not really a matter of their life quality though... it's more that famous people are more likely to have an impact on those people's lives through their work and shit... so people mourn them when they've enjoyed them, the life quality thing is a separate issue, and so are the conditions of those other people (though i know plenty of people who get genuinely upset over news articles about non celebrity deaths and shit)
Honestly it sounds more reasonable to me than nearly any 'normal' relationship. Being close to someone and wanting to be close to them seems more logical and more natural than most people's status/sex shit they do.
They mourn them because knowing shit about people, or thinking you do, tricks your brain into thinking you know them personally/have a connection. It's why people care so much about celebrities and so little about people they didn't listen to sing well at a concert one time. If it was purely artistic appreciation, i'd have no issue with it, but it's pretty obviously not. It's not specifically bowie, I have this issue every time a celebrity dies, gets married, has a baby, whatever. I don't think people should care unless they know the person personally, or because of the lack of forthcoming artistic work from the person due to circumstances.
it depends on the person really... you aren't wrong about some people, but yeah... i can't say i've ever felt affected enough by a celebrity death to mourn, or anything past a "damn that's too bad" so idk
but i also think it's stupid and invasive to care about their day to day lives so eh...
>constantly horny as all fuck
>dysphoria usually too bad to try and fap
>the times it becomes so unbearable I force myself to do it
>orgasm tends to be underwhelming as fuck
Is T cream as effective as the shots? I've been on the cream for a while now and I feel like ever since the switch, I've made no progress whatsoever. I'm also feeling more "emotional" like I did pre-T which is frustrating. Doc says my levels are fine though, but I don't feel fine at all.
if your levels are normal, then it's not to do with the cream but with your body. t is t once it gets in there
could there be other causes for your issues? malnutrition or a mental health issue popping up again or something?
how mini are we talking here? i have two different wanking sleeves that i bought because they were recommended by ftms but neither of them work for me. i grew a pretty good amount on T but the sleeves are still too big for me, and the way my labia are connected to my body makes it so that i can't really penetrate anything because they're in the way :/
i'm not sure there exists a sex toy that would work for me honestly. :(
I thought that too, I bought that 'brosleeve" thing and it was way too big, but these work. I just have to stop up the hole at the top and BAM it works fuckin perfect. I didn't even get THAT much growth on T, too.
Here's some comparison pictures on their tumblr, they also have the dimensions listed on their site.
love how they just skip to the suicide, like he didn't get the truth from his parents, almost but didn't kill the doc that botched the circumcision, how he got better, married, adopted children
THEN he had financial problems and offed himself
I know it's bad, but that was not the end I was expecting, I read the book before he an heroed, then when the news came out I laughed out loud and my mother (who I was visiting at the time) called me a monster
So that really attractive transman I was really starting to get into something with told me that hes not ready for a relationship and apologized for letting me think that stuff was gonna happen.
I'm super bummed right now. I'm just going to give up dating for now I think. Dating as a transwoman fucking sucks.
Did he say why he's not ready? I can sympathize with him in that regard. I've had to turn people down because I was just straight up not ready for one, in many ways. The worst part is when someone takes it personally because you definitely don't intend to hurt them.
Different anon, but thank you so much for this - I'd never heard of these and I want one of those pocket Snowbird ones ASAP. Although, as a non-furry, the image of fucking some sort of fantasy bird-creature is something I'll have to try to wipe from my mind.
My libido was a zero before I started T, to the point where I thought of myself as being more or less asexual, and, despite all of the "warnings," I didn't really expect I'd find myself this horny this often this quickly.
No, but I think its relating to him being trans. He was pretty early in still so I told him no hard feelings and thanks for the really enjoyable dates and that if he ever felt like dating he could ask me out because I didn't harbor any ill will.
I never understood why anyone would want to rely on makeup, especially when it'll just come off when it really matters and you'll just look fucking alien to the other person. That goes for women and men.
i'm pretty sure that's not true... i'm always up for sex... even when i'm sick as fuck and exhausted i have a fucking energy reserve for sex, and i'm horny pretty much 24/7 to the point where it's actually kinda shitty... so it's gotta be pretty fucking varied
unrelated: jager tastes awful, but somehow doesn't bother my stomach... i wish whiskey was more like it or it was more like whiskey...
When I was living as a "totally normal heterosexual cis female" (that didn't work out so well), I got the sense that I had a lower libido than most women, but I don't know. I was expecting some change when I started T, but I've been taken aback by the magnitude of the change. Probably TMI, but I've gone from masturbating a few times a month (sometimes I'd go months at a time without anything) to multiple times a day.
Female libido is lower than male libido, and triggered differently, but females also are trained to pretend not to want sex by other females around them.
Most people takign T also had depression/dysphoria/other hormonal issues that caused a lowered or increased libido, though.
Also there's just not good data on the subject.
Cause if you know what you're doing, it looks amazing. Sadly, most don't.
No worries dude. The main thing is to keep it friendly, casual, like you don't want to have to say something that could be taken badly, and to offer a fist bump afterwards.
a while ago i heard about the guy who got the world's first successful penis transplant managed to successfully impregnated his girlfriend/wife
maybe if we ever make progress on stem cell research you'll be able to grow your own dick and get it attached
> Doctor tells you strictly no alcohol, looks at you seriously to enforce that he means business
>tell doctor you don't drink anyway
>looks at you like you're lying
>is shocked that you mean it
>looks away to hide consternation and secretly pleased that patient is doing healthy thing
I know a bartender - cool guy - who stopped drinking for a year, just to prove he could. What's up with your stomach?
i quit drinking for about a year when i first got lyme cuz of the way alcohol can affect me...it still does so it's a bit like playing russian roulette, but even when it doesn't (and i mean like...loss of balance after less than it takes to get me drunk, feeling too drunk after barely drinking, neck stiffness,headaches, ears popping, excruciating pain in my jaw etc) do that it usually fucks my stomach for a bit...just like more pain and burning than usual...
idk what's wrong...no insurance and i can't go to a doctor, and the hospital is no help cuz i need a specialist and it's chronic
i had pre-existing stomach issues since i was young (but when i was a kid every time i bitched about my stomach my parents thought i was trying to get out of school so i got the shit beaten out of me and dragged to school instead of being taken to the doctor cuz "you don't have a fever so you can't be sick") that got worse when i was a teenager and in my early 20's (like every couple of months i'd get these really awful stomach cramps and such that i could feel all the way through to my back, and i'd usually end up vomiting from the pain or it'd be like tons of pain + vomiting + a complete inability to eat or drink anything other than like a sip of water every couple of hours for days... ended up in the hospital with it before, but nothing was actually done other than pain killers and being told to see a specialist), since i got lyme stomach/intestinal issues have been more frequent and since the lyme treatment it's been constant
there's always at least constant low grade pain, there's numbness, burning, i can point out certain specific spots that have the most shit wrong with them... i get weird pain other parts of my body (particularly my wrist it's weird) that's the exact sorta pain that i'll get in my intestines when they're particularly bad... eating can be painful etc my mother insists it's crohn's cuz she has crohn's and i've discussed it
with her... but idk
he was a transguy who posted a pic when the general/board first started that was named boxdestroyer of him at work destroying boxes... then he disappeared and someone found his tumblr...
not very interesting, but yeah...
Late last year, I had some things go wrong with my gut. Huge pain after eating, dizziness, nausea, constant low grade pain, dizziness, nausea. Had every test under the sun, was in hospital for a week (public healthcare in my country, so was saved from exploitative private health), gastroscopy, various rays, scans, ultrasound, etc. Barium meal radioactive tests (that was private). Was gonna get surgery at one point.
Turns out it was probably (certainties, hah!) coeliac disease + lactose intolerance. Still no idea. Still low grade pain, nausea. But avoiding wheat and lactose entirely has stopped the pain attacks. But it hurt worse than when I broke my tibia, and I broke that bone up the length, spiral fracture. Hurt worse than appendicitis, and that nearly burst. The nausea meant I couldn't focus well enough to block it out or do anything about it. Gut problems are the fucking worst.
And they're hard to diagnose, hard to test for, etc. There's a lot of phantom gut problems, too, that never have a successful diagnosis. So yeah, that sucks. Why do you drink if it adds to it, though?
i'm actually vegan (except honey) already, and with lyme gluten is out anyway... but there's stuff that kills my stomach that i'm just not willing to give up completely (like broccoli, brussel sprouts, rice) pretty much all i can eat without adding to me feeling sick is peanut butter, bananas, and then liquids for the most part... but even without that it's tends to suck anyway
that's shit that you're still not sure what's going on though... i've got thousands of dollars in medical debt and nothing though, not looking to add to it either... on the bright side if all goes well i'll be able to get some shit done within the year and maybe get some answers, it's possible that this is a combination of lyme + whatever's wrong to begin with
i drink cuz either way i'm gonna feel sick, and i hate being sober + sometimes i don't have enough weed and alcohol is what's available + the codeine was inaccesible last night but the jager was by my bed from 2 days ago...
+ sometimes alcohol really fucks me up, but other times i'm alright... jager hasn't gotten me sick at all yet... like today i'm the same as i have been without drinking so eh...
i tend to stick to wine though cuz i've had a decent amount of luck with that... vodka is always a bad choice, but to be fair that's always been true even before shit got this bad
When did you go vegan? What effect did it have on the stomach stuff? Sorry if i'm asking too many questions, just interested in this due to my own recent gut problems. Always had an ironclad stomach before them. Could eat anything, no problems.
Whole thing's given me the heeby-jeebies.
And yeah, I get not wanting to be sober if you're in pain and sick feeling all the time. Not having effective pain relief for what I went through with the gut stuff was awful.
i've been vegan off/on for idk... over a year... i never liked milk, haven't had butter in years, started getting weird reactions to eggs after the lyme treatment (allergic reactions, vomiting, all that fun shit), and with cheese... idk it just started to gross me out...
i have noticed a slight decrease in pain, but unrelated to my stomach... honestly the only thing that ever seems to help that has been avoiding solid food altogether on/off
+ when i don't eat there's pain anyway, but like... any solid food makes it hurt more and some worse than others... like broccoli, onions, brussel sprouts, salad fucking kills me...
that's not to say it wouldn't help you though... cuz it might... idk though i was a vegetarian for years even before all this so i have no idea whether or not eliminating meat would do you any good
Well friends, I've packed all that I can carry into a suitcase and backback and am about to be homeless and nearly broke until the 23rd. It's cold and rainy outside and I want to die. There's also the chance that me moving into this apartment on the 23rd will fall through somehow, and then I'll really be fucked.
The alternative is apologizing to my mother for existing and being trans, groveling for her forgiveness for hurting her poor little feelings by calling her a bigot (once, when she was acting like a fucking bigot), and staying with my parents until then. I can't make myself do it. I don't want her in my life. I don't think I can even bring myself to talk with her, let alone apologize for things that I shouldn't have to apologize for. For the first time EVER, I'm starting to feel good about myself, and I'm not going back to being a doormat who apologizes for absolutely everything out of fear and shame and who lives their life according to what will make others happy and what will "rock the boat" the least. My father expects me to put myself back in that role. I just can't.
Many, many people (including psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers) to whom my sibling and I have talked with about our mother says that it sounds like she has BPD. A few days ago, she literally told my dad that, if he didn't side with her 100% against me and my "psychosis" (being trans), she was going to leave, write everyone out of her will and leave everything to charity, and then kill herself. I can't even believe this is happening.
I've never been homeless before and, honestly, I'm scared. Right now, I look like either a young butch lesbian or maybe a very young femme boy, and I don't have anything to defend myself with except for a fairly pointy and long umbrella. I think I'm going to go to the nearby army surplus/outdoor store and get a decent knife, at the very least, along with some waterproof shit, of which I have none...fuck, I can't believe this is happening.
christ, that's awful, good luck. your mom sounds dangerous & terrible, i'm glad you're trying to stay away from her. do you at least have friends' couches to rotate between until you get the apartment? or are you going to have to deal with shelters & shit?
1. Shelters and shit. Look that shit up now/at somewhere you can get online, ring them, see if they have a bed. Women's shelters are a thing - yeah, I know, but needs must. Sleeping outside is fucking dangerous unless you know how.
2. LGBT support/youth support groups. Try to find any that are local. They will have places for people who've been kicked out of home/left home due to it, or at least might be able to help by putting you onto LGBT people you can rent a room from.
3. Tell us where you're at. I've got a spare room, and it's free for short stays for a good cause. I'm sure there's a few other people here that could put you up, if you're local to them.
4. Keep us posted. I've lived through that shit, not knowing where your next meal is coming from, malnutrition, barricading yourself in somewhere and hoping you wake up without anybody bursting in you, but i'm in a decent spot now, and if you're totally fucked I can afford to send you a few hundred bucks and call it money well spent.
i've slept outside before and it was alright, i was in brooklyn and it was summer though + i had places to crash in between... churches aren't bad places to sleep, neither are bus stations and shit like that... you should see if there's shelters near you and depending on your age (a lot of shit stops once you hit 24) you might be able to find a place at one of those...
where are you though? cuz it's a lot easier to tell you where you could go or to help you with that knowledge...
in all honesty this is probably the better choice for you given your current circumstance, but it's not exactly an easy one...
+ in most cases unless you know how to use it effectively a knife isn't gonna do you much good... and you're better off wrapping your shit in plastic inside your bags than you are getting a bunch of waterproof shit... that's money you might need for food or something that might come up...
and if it comes down to it, hopefully you're good at lifting shit...
Hey /ftm/ help me out with something. A guy I work with keeps flirting with me and I kind of like him but I think he might actually be trans. How do I find out if that's the case? Is it rude to just ask or is there some polite way of asking?
He's short and skinny, has kind of a higher pitched voice (and it sounds like he tries to talk deeper), and I don't think I've ever seen him with facial hair. Also just the way he acts I dunno.
Not really sure what you're aiming for here. There's no, like secret code. Most transguys just want to be treated like guys. If it's actually relevant, like you're going to ask him out on a date, just ask the question. Maybe he'll get offended, maybe he won't. If he's not trans, maybe he'll get offended, maybe he won't. It is inherently a tricky subject.
I have an Underworks Tri-top Chest Binder (http://www.underworks.com/collections/extreme-series-compression/tri-top-chest-binder) and I really like it. It's difficult to get on and off, but once it's on, I'm almost completely flat, and it's not uncomfortable.
I'm so sick of binding, though. I'm eagerly anticipating top surgery, but I just scheduled my consult with the surgeon, and it isn't until May. She's that booked. Who knows how long I'll have to wait for the actual surgery. I wish I could do something to speed this shit up.
pre everything, but mine comes and goes...sometimes ill fap 1-2, maybe even 3 times a day every day for two weeks, then another couple weeks will go by and i wont have any urges at all, unless i'm really bored but it takes more effort. probably has something to do with menstruation but actually keeping track of that stuff makes me uncomfortable.
I'm pretty much the same as you. I try not to think about it as well because like you said it probably is something to do with the hormones I don't even want in my body.
Gimme dat T already. Fuck.
idk... i've been asked, and i've just been like "yeah" as long as i can tell the person doesn't give a shit, i don't give a shit... but that's me... other people get offended or upset and shit...
I think I'm like a 32B? I haven't bought a "real" bra with cups in a long time. I don't have very big breasts, but they're definitely noticeable and bothersome to me if I don't wear a binder.
never used a gc2b, but i've got an underworks... it works well enough, but even the smallest size is a little big on me... idk if they run big or not, but that's something to consider i guess...
on the bright side no one knows the difference between me binding or not... i can get away with just a baggy shirt though...
Well FTM Gen, it's been a while. Gay married FTM here. Or. Divorcing FTM here. Yup... Been away a few months and I have just had the shittiest day.
11am. Woke up and started staring at my pre-T body in the mirror. It is a body most women would kill for, and it's so pretty, and yet I feel nothing but disconnect and hatred.
Midday. Set off for work, bought my 3rd pack of reds in 4 days, then stepped out in front of a car. Got hit, went down, told the driver I was fine and to go, and continued to work like nbd.
1pm. Got sent home from work.
2pm. Bought a bottle of vodka. Downed it neat. This mixed with my Prozac and the pain meds I took for my foot at work.
3pm. Puking my guts up. Haven't eaten since Sunday. Bile and vodka and whatever else is all coming out of me. Ring ex husband, laughing and shouting about my body and me being a waste of skin and a mistake. He hangs up.
4pm. Throw myself into the shower then go to bed.
5pm. My housemate comes home. I finally eat and sober up.
7pm. Wake up from a nap, damage control, and go back to sleep.
Now 1am and about to return to bed. Can't sage bc mobile app. I haven't sought medical attention yet. Completely sober now.
why'd you break up?
honestly, you probably don't need to go to the hospital if you made it through the day without going and like did shit...
sorry you're going through that shit though... wish i knew what to say...
+ i feel bad for that kid sleeping in that guy's lap... i imagine being a kid and stuck at this shit would suck
just got in from smoking and that's what was on...
i think i hurt myself falling down the driveway earlier... worse than i thought... i was getting in the car to get weed with my s/o and his friend, and drunk + snow + a steep as fuck driveway don't mix pretty much...
broke the bottle of wine i was holding, that sucked... but i didn't feel it 'til just now
this shit is over now and all i noticed was the sleeping kid and how obama's face looked lighter than his hands... i heard absolutely none of it...
the state of the union address, i missed a good deal of it except for a kid sleeping in some guy's lap that the camera panned to, obama's face looking lighter than his hands (not the best make up), and a small part of it where obama was talking about how people feel like their voices don't matter when it comes to voting and laws and shit... and i was commenting on the part of it i heard cuz well, it was meant to motivate more people to be more active in politics... but it was a little bit of a bullshit statement that sounded good and had a decent enough purpose... i can't really say what i think of what he said other than that one statement i heard pretty much...
i also talked about how i missed most of it cuz i went out to smoke a blunt with my s/o and his friend, and how when i sat down after we smoked to watch the end of it i noticed just how much i hurt myself earlier... cuz i slipped in the driveway with a bottle of wine while i was drunk earlier, and i hurt my elbow and my back a bit, and my hand going to my s/o's friend's car to go get weed...
sorry if i wasn't clear enough, high + sick + barely getting sleep and up since 5am ... my bad
I believe asexuality is a thing but most people who identify as such probably really aren't. More so stems from insecurity(dysphoria and such), lack of experience, bad experiences, completely socially inept or they went through a prolonged time without such things in general.
Is it common with ftms? No idea, but the asexual ftms I see are your usual tumblrtards while the other ftms I know irl would fuck a hole in the wall if given a chance.
God, I need a new therapist. If I have to take another hour of that bullshit, I'm going to eat my own face.
I don't know how common it is, but I thought of myself as asexual when I was forcing myself to live as a grill in a heterosexual relationship. I hated sex - it was something I avoided as much as possible with my SO and, when it couldn't be avoided, I just gritted my teeth through it and prayed it would be over quickly. This was with a guy I was insanely in love with and found "aesthetically" attractive, too. I felt a ton of guilt over my lack of libido, but I just never experienced sexual desire and really, really didn't want to be touched. I don't know why I didn't think of it on my own, but, after I came out as trans, a doctor told me that my lack of libido could just have been caused by extreme discomfort with/loathing of my body and feeling uncomfortable in the role I was in. I think that was the case for me. Things are a LOT different now that I've started T. It seems logical and fairly likely to me that a lot of FtMs who identify as asexual before transitioning may not end up being asexual after transitioning, but it's not like I have numbers or anything to back this up.
I'm not going to go into detail why, but within the next few years I may be moving to America. How does this work for hormones and whatnot? Will I still be able to just buy them? I'm not really sure how that works for someone who doesn't have proper citizenship upon moving there.
it's been a while ftmg, i stopped coming here like a year ago but now i'm two months on t and i just wanted to say that y'all are dope as fuck, keep on keeping on
If you live near a major city, LGBT centers are a fast-track ticket to hormones instead of going through months, if not years of waiting for some therapist to decide whether or not you're trans. However, if you're not going to be a US citizen then I have no idea how that works. I would imagine you'll just pay out of pocket for everything.
I just don't know what the hell my therapist wants from me. Spends her time asking me what I want to talk about and what I want to achieve and what I think I should change. I don't fucking know, that's why I'm here! I suggested it could all be rooted in trans stuff but she seems to be ignoring that. Eight sessions of achieving nothing but pissing me off each time. I'm pretty sure I'm not suited to think kind of therapy but she keeps trying to talk me round, making me more and more bitter.
Oh well I mean by the time I move I'll have already been on hormones (starting within the next couple months hopefully) and have gotten surgerlies/name change etc. so that's not the issue. I was more worried about having to go through more bullshit to get hormones when first moving there, especially since I won't have my family doctor to monitor my levels anymore.
If it's just paying out of the pocket then I suppose that should be fine. I imagine there are places I can go to keep everything in check too, I guess, but I'll likely have to pay for that too. Damn...
People that were talking about rpgs earlier. If you wanted to put together a game or something, you can add my skype if you want - [Node.491] / k-armada, forget if it goes off username or whatnot.
Mine is a postgraduate trainee which is even better. She's going to get an opinion from her supervisor with 20 years experience who is either going to advise or take over. So, onwards and upwards, I suppose...
if i had to guess it's that she's trying to guide you into you figuring out what your problems are and the things you can do to help yourself... you know your problems and what doesn't work better than anyone else does which is probably why she's taking that approach
a lot of people could improve a good deal if they just learned how to reflect and sort things out on their own and i imagine she's guiding you towards that... but that's gonna do fuckall for your trans issues and you either have to be more assertive about what you want (go to her with information, say what you want and how you want to go about it, and what you need from her to do it) and see how that goes, or find someone else... i get the frustration, but if she's not doing what you want those are your only options
You might want to talk to the doctor who prescribes your hormones, see if you can get them to write you a letter explaining your situation etc
Doctors like being told that another doctor has done the hard work for them and they just need to dot the is and cross the ts, could save you a bit of trouble too
>FTMs say they're boys
>they never do what boys say they'd do if they were trapped in a girl's body and camwhore the shit out of themselves and not give a fuck about who cared about them showing off their pussy on the internet
This is why I don't believe you. A cis guy would be like 'oh shit dude now I can get shit for free from beta faggots', and you're all instead like 'bluh guh muh pronounnnns'.
Fakers, the whole lot of you.
Well it's what I would do if I were trapped in a girl's body. I'd camwhore the fuck out of myself, then use the funds playing League of Legends or opening crates or whatever, to invest in stocks and live off my retirement with a bunch of bitch servants. I'd monetize the fuck out of my titties, if I had no respect or disposition to the gender I was given.
See I at least get Transwomen, because you can't monetize a man body.
And shit, if you wanted to transition, turns out FTMs pass at all sorts of ages, so you go FTM when you're 40 and no one will care. Retire your whore shell when it's past expiration date for a Silver Fox model and get dat daddy dom appeal from confused college girls.
If that's true then her guidence is shit. Or maybe I'm just really shit at this. I wish I weren't such a disagreeable person whose instant response to things like this is "recoil and hiss". In any case, I can't help myself if I can't tell what the problem is and she's not helping identify it as far as I can tell.
I want someone to be able to tell me what my issue is, I'm just kind of running with the assumption it's a trans thing but I don't want to be insistent about it in case I'm wrong. Urgh. Well, either she comes up with something good next week or I'm trying something else because this strategy isn't doing shit.
What you initially reported is pretty much what I would expect someone with a shit therapist to report. My advice is: find a better one. If you're doing it to get some kind of treatment approved, then you're going to need to handle her until she agrees to it, and it might be easier to just find a different person.
The entire point of therapy is dealing with people who recoil and hiss. If they didn't, they wouldn't need a therapist. If the therapist can't do that, when it sounds like you're attempting to cooperate, to the point that you genuinely feel frustrated and dead-ended, they are shit at their job.
Not really convincing me you aren't an insecure girl here cause that's tactic number one right there. A guy would just laugh this shit off and get on with their guy things.
I'm a cis guy who saw the thread on the front page because you're too stupid to follow this thread's rules and aren't saging. And felt compelled to reply.
And currently my 'guy things' is telling a retard in his mother's basement to fuck off. Seriously, the stupidest shit i've seen today, and i've had /lgbt/ open in a tab for like half an hour. You are really, really dumb. The world doesn't work how you think it does. Shut up. And fuck off. Fuck, if this was bait i'd think it was at least well designed, but my appraisal of it is that you genuinely believe it.
Even from an anonymous legbutt on 4chan, it's reassuring to hear I might not be impeding my own progress because I'm a bastard that way. The therapist assures me that we're not wasting our time in sessions but I've concluded that she's full of shit. This is the first treatment I've tried and it apparently works for most people. Guess the course of action is to try something else because of course, nothing is ever simple.
It's true. I'm waiting till I'm finished with college to transition medically. Because as it turns out, I can get the hottest lesbos as an androgynous girl but only the homliest and most desperate straight girls as a trans man. Pretty good choice 9/10 would rec
>That's how MEN think.
Damn, guess I should tell that to all of my cis male friends in college and university who are far more focused on their studies. I'll have them hand in their man cards ASAP.
Bitch I'm 26. I've got a job and shit, managing weekly reports for an oil company. Everyone's in panic meetup mode but I'm done my work so I'm taking time to post some trufax on the FTMgen.
>managing weekly reports
You're probably a 14 year old with issues, but if that's true, that's fucking hilarious. Middle management asshole at an oil company. Did your daddy get you that job? Hah. And your self-esteem is so fragile you're on 4chan bashing FtMs for not being 'real men' for not whoring themselves? That's actually worse than if you're underage b&.
her guidance might be shit, or it's you right now... cuz i mean like, maybe the reason it's not working is cuz you're not at a place in your life where you can do what she's trying do... rather than her being shit... i'm sure some people find her useful...
but that's irrelevant i guess since either way you're not gonna accomplish shit continuing to do something that isn't working for you... so you should probably try something else
though i'm curious... why are you continuing to see her if she's not doing anything for you? i mean... that seems like a waste of an hour so why bother? and why are you expecting someone you're paying to listen to you to fix all your problems so quickly? i mean... not to sound like a dick or anything, but you've clearly got problems other than the trans shit, everyone has problems or shit going on in their life that's hard... so have you ever considered that maybe an hour every so often isn't long enough to know enough about someone or their problems in order to actually help them?
and besides how can you expect anyone else to tell you what your problem is?
she's not really wrong, people gotta sort themselves out and talking can help... but you're wondering what she wants from you instead and wondering why your problems aren't fixed right now or even sorted... shit takes time though, you're not being patient enough while you work on shit...
but that's whatever... why do you think you being trans is the whole issue? is that all that drove you to her initially? when you talk to her is that all you can think of to talk about, cuz i feel like i remember you from another thread and it sounded like you didn't do that first session...
and well what other shit is there? there's more than just trans shit i'm sure...
what do you want out of life? what do you wanna do about the trans shit? is it just transition and then... what?
you don't gotta tell me shit if you don't want to, but tell her
Same treatment with better therapist might work. Individual therapist's skill level is really important. If this therapist is new to the job, maybe she'll learn, or maybe she'll switch jobs.
This comes off as pretty hostile and inaccurate. The entire job of a therapist is to do the thing that helps the person deal with the issue. That's generally either provide a mental framework to rationalize the problem, or listen to complaints, or provide activities and workarounds to deal with specific repeated situational problems. Poster sounds like they need a framework. Therapist is asking them to do stuff that isn't working and isn't correctly reading the patient or switching things up. Ergo, they're not very good at their job.
Worse, if anything. For some reason trans really attract the closet cases something chronic.
I never know what people are talking about when they say about "the right place in your life".
I continue to see her because I was referred to the program by my doctor, this type of therapy is a common one and usually does the job. It helped my sister deal with bipolar disorder. I've been sticking it out because I don't like to quit things before I've given them a real try. I didn't expect it to do any good, and it's not. A treatment course on the NHS is 12 sessions before I have to be re-referred or something, one would kind of expect progress by session 8. I'm not sure what could possibly change in the next 3 hours.
I expect a medical professional to be able to diagnose. That being their job and all. My therapist isn't diagnosing and therefore can't appropriately treat the problem. If I could diagnose my own problem then why does she get paid and I don't?
Being trans is barely an issue. I only mentioned it to my therapist last week. I was deliberately witholding the trans issue in the hopes that my problems were non-trans related. I only offered it up last time out of desperation, I kind of spilled my guts in an attempt to give her anything I had for her to work with. Apparently none of what I told her contained the answer she was looking for. I can't tell if trans is the issue because I am not a medical professional and I need advice to tell me what my problem is.
I don't know what other shit there is, that's the obstacle in this process. Maybe I'm just full of poison and it's making me sick. I can't tell the poison is there because I'm not a doctor and the doctors won't give me an answer. So I can destroy myself making the sickness hurt less or I can keep pretending I'm fine until it kills me.
Apologies if I seem bitter and angry but that's because I am bitter and angry.
eh i'm not being hostile though lol i'm pretty much the complete opposite... i knew i was gonna come off like a dick though which is why i said i knew what it sounded like...
really though i'm just telling them the truth about the therapist and it sounds fucking harsh and i get that... but i suppose i see her point of view and i get why she's making him talk rather than just fixing everything... people really do need to sort shit out for themselves instead of depending on other people to tell them what their problems are... it's not a bad skill to have, and it's a ridiculous thing to expect
i mean that's my opinion, and i know that sounds dickish, but whatever... is what it is
there's different kinds of therapists and different kinds of shit works for different people... i just think calling her shit cuz she's not handing him a list of his problems seems a little ridiculous and misguided is all, and i'm wondering why he's still there if he's getting nothing out of it... and honestly... if he just thinks about the shit i asked him it might help him figure out what he needs to do
i agree he needs to do something else if he wants quicker results cuz seeing her isn't working, but i don't agree with someone else expecting other people to reflect on their lives for them or to disregard the value of doing so just cuz this isn't working out for him
she's attempting to teach him a valuable life skill people can only learn on their own... and maybe that isn't what he needs right now but he's gotta figure out what he needs no one else is gonna do that for him
eh i wouldn't call you bitter and angry, you just sound frustrated and confused... so it's cool... i can sound like a dick so i doubt you're the one coming off worse in this conversation lol
but like... why do you even think you have a problem? what is it about you that you feel is problematic? i mean like... when i think about myself and reasons i'd go to therapy that could use work i can come up with at least five things and be like "ok that needs fixing"
and shit you know?
and idk... now that you've told her you're trans that's what you wanna focus on and get help with right? so maybe that is your problem... or at least the one that matters to you
and idk maybe there's a reason you gotta do 12, though to be honest if something wasn't working ... or if it was and it just happened on a day where i wasn't feeling it or whatever... i probably wouldn't even make it to 8 regardless of
whether or not i was supposed to before i could get something else... i wouldn't keep going you know? but that's me... i have no idea what another few hours could fix but you never know i suppose
at the very least you'll learn what doesn't work and be free to try something else knowing you gave this shit a shot... talking about it hasn't made you less trans so you know... maybe that's something to focus on next time...
but fuck if i know...
it doesn't really sound like she's looking for answers though... it sounds like she's just waiting to see if you find them... which can help people, and would help you... but you don't need another person to do that... just a lot of time to spend thinking about shit that sucks to think about...
honestly you could probably replace her with a notebook and be about the same, but... what she's doing works for people cuz talking about shit is a way to realize shit about yourself you never thought about 'til you were forced to put it into words and that's a good way to face shit...
on the bright side it's not much longer
>it sounds like she's just waiting to see if you find them
This is exactly what it is. The therapist isn't there to give you your answers. The whole point of therapy is to figure shit out yourself. Not to mention she's likely given you homework, and if you've skipped out on doing that, it's a big no-no.
For my therapy, it's 30 sessions, but we didn't even really start delving into the trans shit until around 10ish, and only the past few sessions has it really been flying off and getting somewhere (I'm at about 14 or so).
I went in there with a ton of things bothering me that I needed to at least somewhat get through first before I could really begin scraping the surface of the trans issues.
+ i wouldn't call someone like her shit, i'd just say they weren't a proper fit... and knowing more about the situation now... i'd imagine before looking for a diagnosis or medical treatments it's helpful to refer someone to a therapist who just listens in order to see if that's all this person needs...
there's a lot of different kinds of therapy... she's not shit, she's just not what he needs... and i guess i just think it's counterproductive to figuring out what your own problem is when you're placing the blame on other people for not being able to tell you...
idk what he tells her, and neither do you... and some methods take longer to get results than others, doesn't mean they're not as good or completely ineffective
There's a problem. I live a life of constant dull misery and constant sharp self-hatred. It's fucking tiring but I don't remember anything else. I can't be the only person who spends so long in denial they forget what they're denying.
And being trans is a possibility, one I've been hiding because I'd honestly prefer a way to be happy and cis than a way to be happy and trans. I mentioned it as a possibility, she glossed over it and so I did as well.
Now you get the quandry. If I knew it would be useless, I would have given up ages ago but there's still a chance, albeit slim, that it can redeem itself.
Well, I've talked plenty and no epiphanies have struck and she's given me no hints I'm on the right path so what the hell use is she? Maybe I'm in the minority and ultimately talking to myself with a nodding dog in the room isn't doing the job.
well what are you miserable about? what makes you sad? why do you hate yourself?
i think pretty much all transpeople wish they were cis and happy at some point btw... for however long it lasts... i was planning to deny it forever personally, and it took my s/o asking me when i was like... 22 or 23 for me to really face it
you said she glosses over everything before right? so she isn't necessarily glossing over this you just want her to focus on this, which is why you brought it up again... do you usually bring up the same shit to her repeatedly? was there anything else you were purposely avoiding talking about in spite of it being on your mind throughout the course of therapy? cuz i mean... if you were hoping she wouldn't tell you that you were trans this whole time so you told her everything else hoping that'd be the problem instead... and now that you mentioned it you want to keep talking about it and you don't like that she isn't paying attention to it... then maybe the problem is just as simple as you're fucking trans and you don't want to be...
and that's well... two problems that go together pretty much all the fucking time 'til people accept it about themselves and work on fixing some of the shit in their lives that pertains to the problem...
it sounds like you know exactly what your problems are, and you just want her to tell you that you have different problems and to fix those for you cuz you don't want your problems... or to have to deal with them...
and i get that cuz shit... i know all about not wanting to deal with my own problems, i'm great at not dealing with things... cuz having and dealing with hard problems fucking sucks, but you know... plenty of people who are trans deal with it, and are happier for it eventually...
i'm sure you've got other issues, but that must be a big one... i mean you're here aren't you?
Hey, closet mode ftm here
(semi-closet technically i came out of the closet and my mom treated it like a phase so rip any chance of getting help)
I went on a few different birth controls to stop my periods (they were really painful for me as well, like crippling me and causing me to miss days of school, not being able to get out of bed, ect. as well as being my biggest source of dysphoria)
I took pills but those didn't help at ALL
I went on the depo shot next, which worked out well for the first two months but on the very last one I had a period that lasted for about month straight. Not breakthrough bleeding or old blood trying to clear out but straight up period for a month
After that I got on a different set of pills and they were working really great for a few months and then some point between November-December it stopped being breakthrough bleeding/old blood and is straight up period again
My mom's gonna take me to see a gynecologist soon (like next month or so i think) but should I just try harder to make her see me as trans or what because I have a nagging feeling T is the only way my period hell is gonna stop
idk where else to post this shit really so ftmgen it goes
Any of you guys on T notice your mood stabilize at all? I feel like half the time I'm in a wrestling match with myself to try and keep my emotions in check because I know it's not fucking rational or logical. It's driving me absolutely insane.
I have very very little experience of knowledge about this stuff, but it sounds like for you, a hysterectomy would be something that you could label medically necessary; insurance could possibly cover that shit well, and it might be enough to have your mom pay for stuff...
Yes. After the initial rush of giddiness that accompanied my first shot I thought everything was gonna be great. In reality it took a couple of months for my mood to stabilize and those bouts of irrationality and tearing up for no reason went away. Estrogen is poison in a transmale body, and dysphoria/depression makes it worse.
Tell your gyno that you're trans. You should definitely go and be honest. Mine is actually the doctor who referred me to my therapist and is now the one who prescribes my T.
while my insurance does technically cover trans stuff, my medically-documented extremely painful periods were a big reason my hysto was actually approved. you might have a chance to get it since birth control doesn't work for you even without a gender dysphoria diagnosis. of course, if you can get it to work as an excuse to come out & get on t, that could be great, but i don't know how likely that is to work
>In reality it took a couple of months for my mood to stabilize and those bouts of irrationality and tearing up for no reason went away.
That's a relief to know anyway. I also should have clarified I'm pre-T in case that wasn't clear.
>Estrogen is poison in a transmale body, and dysphoria/depression makes it worse.
You're telling me, especially around shark week. The an hero'ing feelings get pretty bad.
HAS ANY OF YOU FIGURED OUT A WAY TO HOLD OFF DYSPHORIA FOR LONG ENOUGH TO SUCCESSFULLY MASTURBATE?
I NEED TO GET OFF SO I STOP THINKING THAT I WANT A BOYFRIEND BUT I JUST CAN'T FINISH AND I NEED TO STOP CRYING AND BEING A BITCH ABOUT LOVE
I JUST NEED TO GET OFF SO I CAN THINK CLEARLY.
eh it's gonna happen, even when shit's not on the first page... there's usually at least one troll per thread, and some of them start when it's already autosaging... better to not get worked up over it, and either ignore it or don't take it too seriously if you do respond... there's always gonna be people like that though, it's not like this is a transguy exclusive group or some shit that no one else can talk in...
you should talk to your doctor about you being trans, and see where that goes instead of just focusing on your mom... though you should be honest with her since birth control does affect your hormones and it's better to not put it off...
i feel bad for you cuz i've always had an extremely painful (not being able to get out of bed, comes with chest tightness, nothing otc gets rid of the pain, i guess suicidal thoughts can be a part of it, but i'm also just kinda like that anyway etc + now being sick it comes with flares and whatnot), usually irregular shark week, and i've had points where it's lasted a month or over (been years since that, but it's happened 3 times), and it does suck yeah... but i've never been on birth control so idk how that does or doesn't help...
honestly i never understood what people meant when they go on about illogical and irrational hormonal mood swings cuz i'm not like that... lyme's fucked with my shit a bit with emotions and whatnot, but that's a pretty common symptom and tends to come with chronic pain, but not to the point most people describe their hormones doing... and even then it's not that bad
i tend to just feel neutral though... just like a constant state of nothing in particular one way or another that's only positively or negatively affected by whatever's going on...
are you reacting to your emotions or just feeling them?
you stop thinking, focus on the fact that it feels good, get off, and then move on... thinking about shit is usually pointless
>focus on the fact that it feels good
I can't get it to feel better than digging my ears with a q-tip. As a matter of fact, it's less. It literally doesn't feel as good as cleaning my ears or cutting.
There's various tools and stuff, some talked about earlier in the thread I think.
Is it specifically a lack of feeling/pleasure that's innate or do you think it's the dysphoria fucking with you? Physical lack of sensation is harder to deal with.
>tfw you plan out a 36 page porn comic
>tfw your hands start hurting before youve even picked up the tablet pen
this is probably a bad idea
try shoving a pillow between your legs or, if thats not enough, putting something firm inside it and then rutting against it. plenty of guys are into frottage. hell, you can even do it with a packer in your pants too.
Yeah. That can be psychological or physiological, but it's a thing that does happen. Maybe see a doctor about it, or try some different stuff/different toys to see if you can find a way to do it that works for you?
Uh.. yeah? People have put a lot of thought into designing sex toys, though, in some cases to get around specifically this problem. Like.. a lot of thought. Frotting/humping a pillow was a suggestion earlier. Could also try using your hand or something in a manner you don't normally try? Shower head? Try looking at some porn or shit you find attractive to push past whatever is blocking you? I am not an expert in this.
Alternatively, maybe meditate and see if it relieves the horniness? If you get good at it, you can suppress horniness pretty reliably. Also hunger, cold, dizziness, nausea, it's pretty okay.
the dog sensed that I wasn't having a bad enough day and decided to piss on my bed.
I mean he SLEPT on this bed this morning. All curled up warm and safe, snoring on my feet.
why would you piss where you sleep
why would you do that man
How do I stop feeling like a worthless piece of garbage
>sitting here typing out shit on my mind like therapist wanted me to
>decided to make a pros/cons list about myself
>cons list is more than double the pros list
I thought this was supposed to make me feel better or something?
Sometimes dogs are pretty dumb. Other times you just haven't got the message across to them about where they are allowed to pee.
I've noticed shit things tend to happen all at once. Part of it's perception, but part of it is genuinely, bad things do happen more often in groups. Like your dog will have sensed you're in a shit mood, and peed the bed due to fear or something. It just all feeds into itself. You're angry so you slam something and it stops working.
Kinda. It's like a clogged sink. Sure, getting the clog out is fucking awful, but once it's out, the water flows better. It's meant to feel worse, so later you feel better/work better.
And as for feeling less shit, you do it one step at a time. Bit by bit, and you grit your teeth in the meantime. That's what being a guy is about. Nothing bad gets to win - you kill it no matter how hard it is or how much it costs you.
a general pros/cons list sounds like a bad idea if you have any sort of distorted self-image, which most people in therapy do. you could try to purposely make the pros list as long as the cons, and not add more cons until you have enough pros, forcing yourself to acknowledge positive aspects that you're reluctant to acknowledge. it's not like you're using this list to decide whether you're going to stay alive, so it doesn't have to be perfectly accurate, just helpful. i think looking more carefully at the pros (and reworking at least some of the cons into just "things i'd like to change about myself") could be helpful.
is it old?
i hate dogs in my bed... fur + dog smell... no thanks... i let my bird in my bed though, but she just chills for a bit mostly on me or hops around on the blankets then flies away... feathers are easier to get rid of than fur...
the pug my s/o had used to jump up and puke on my side of the bed when she was young enough to do that... i used to want to murder her every time... fucking on my side of the bed every damn time
maybe you're being hard on yourself... or unrealistic... people tend to be harder on themselves than they are on other people...
not to mention good qualities can outweigh flaws even if you can list more flaws... gotta keep in mind the value of the things you're listing
+ you can work on your flaws, it's not like self improvement is impossible, and aside from that ways to feel better about yourself usually involve doing things that improve yourself aside from just working on your flaws... learning how to do new shit, working on things you already know how to do and getting better at them, educating yourself on a variety of topics, having experiences etc are all helpful and beneficial...
flaws are unavoidable, everyone has them, but they're not always a huge deal...
He just turned six yesterday, and I wouldn't have allowed him on the bed if he had any hair.
What are birds like as pets? What do they do?
Sit in cages mostly. Some of the more intelligent breeds you can have out and about it's a rare bird that can be trained to not shit errywhere.
Rats can be hella affectionate pets. Cats are pretty self-sufficient. The main thing though with pets is training them. If you don't got the knack, one of your friends does, and you should get them to train your pet. Once a pet has the ground rules and basic communication down, it is always much nicer to live with than one that may have basic toilet training but no real communication outside that or w/eva.
I mean, if you have dysphoria, you're gonna basically think you're shit, right. It is usually alongside or shares traits with depression and self-hatred. I don't think in those circumstances your list would necessarily be accurate. Also, most people hate themselves to some degree or another. It's the human condition.
We only got him because the previous owners were morons who should not be allowed animals. He is a dumb motherfucker also doesn't tolerate the existence of any other men than his breeder (and breeder's boyfriend), and I believe I'll some day measure whether I pass from the point he forgets who I am and starts randomly attacking me.
The worst part is how the cons list is chocked-full of corrigible things while the pros side has more solid qualities and abilities.
It didn't really help that I started this while having a bit of a meltdown, so I was clawing at everything I loathed about myself. I guess it was nice to get out of my system.
I also see that some of the cons could be easily argued against as being positives now that I've relaxed a bit. Crazy how your own mind can turn on you.
oh... probably just being a dick then...
i prefer my birds to any other pets i've had (and i've had dogs, cats, a ferret, a mouse, a rabbit, guinea pigs, reptiles, and fish)
my budgies are cool, they know to jump into the cage when i say "goodnight" and mostly they just chill on their playground playing and fly around, go crazy over music and movies, and spend a lot of the day dancing at each other and saying "i love you" back and forth... they're not very hands on but neither one was handraised which makes a huge difference and i'm working with them... so that gets better
my green cheek conure was handfed/handraised though, and she's cool as hell... she's really friendly, and affectionate, spends a lot of the day flying around between my s/o and i, and everyone she meets she tries to play with and kiss and hang out on... she's playful as fuck too, she flips over onto her back and rolls around play biting and she has toys that she attacks (it's a lot like playing with a dog), she comes out for walks and stuff too (she has a leash and a harness) it's mostly like having a tiny dog with feathers who sleeps in a cage... cuz they learn tricks easily enough, like she knows how to shake hands
if someone has a bird sitting in a cage like that they're not taking care of it and shouldn't have a bird... birds need attention and to be out of their cages every day even tiny ones like budgies...
and birds can be trained to not shit everywhere, you just need to be consistent and if they're a smaller bird like a budgie and only semi-tame they tend to just chill in their own space... my budgies only shit in their cage and their playground area, and gypsy knows that being held over the garbage means it's ok to shit and when it's warm out she actually prefers to be taken out in the garden every morning to go etc she's not 100% perfect yet, but that's cuz she's around a lot of people who aren't as consistent as me with it...
rats smell awful
>(she has a leash and a harness)
this is all so much more cute than I can endure
they have long life spans though... some birds can live 60+ years and a lot live 20+
and i don't think dysphoria equates with thinking you're shit... i mean it's physical not everything else, there's more than just the physical in life...
at least you're being more rational now, flaws and good qualities are usually related
It correlates very highly with thinking you're shit. In that the vast majority of people with dysphoria think they're shit and/or struggle to not think they're shit.
If you have non-desexed male ones, yeah. Or don't clean their cage? But female rats and desexed male rats don't smell bad, or really like much of anything.
Not met a lot of birds that were trained to not shit on stuff, so i'm pretty sure it's non-trivial.
It gives me the shits that people think owning an animal requires no effort or skill or interest and the animal ends up all jaded and angry. How many poorly trained dogs people have near where I live, for example, that only get walked on leashes and that rarely and ugh.
she hates putting it on, but as soon as we're out she's happy and purring... a lot of people ask if she's fake cuz she's so well behaved which is weird as shit though...
yeah people can have that issue, but that can be worked on, and it isn't necessarily gonna be the case
my bro and his ex had two female rats, even freshly cleaned and after a bath they smelt bad... cuz rodents smell like rodents and it's gross
that's like when people say their cat doesn't smell, all cats smell like cats
I've known people who had rats, brother had a rat, etc. Never known them to smell unless their cage wasn't clean, or male musk. Rats should be cleaning themselves, too, if they stink something is wrong. Unless you have a super keen sense of smell maybe?
Similarly, cats don't really smell except for shit/piss (which is hella pungent), unless you like, stick your face in them. I suppose if you don't vacuum, eventually the cat hair would start to build up, but that's like, crazy cat lady territory.
They have like happy noises, not sure if i'd call it purring.
green cheeks make a purring sound, idk about other kinds of birds... cockatiels hiss, i didn't believe it 'til i heard it though and i had no idea conures purred 'til i got gypsy...
i might be more sensitive to the smell than you, but i notice it and i can't stand it... rodents just smell really bad to me and cats too i can always smell cats even in a clean house if someone has them
Well, other than musky male rats, people don't generally comment on rats smelling unless the cage is dirty. Similarly with cats, unless there's that sort of sulphurous awful cat piss/poo smell, it's not something I generally hear people commenting on, so my guess is maybe you have a more acute sense of smell or are sensitive to it. allergic?
well i honestly would never tell anyone i could smell their pets so a lack of comments doesn't necessarily mean much, but all animals have a scent... that's just reality, and no matter how much people clean or cover shit up it's still there...
and like i said i could just be sensitive to it... i'm not allergic to cats, and idk about rodents... i was allergic to the rabbit i had, but that's not the same so eh...
that's odd, haven't heard of that happening...
not that it matters for me though, i'd never get a rat, they're cute but i have no interest in them whatsoever, and you kinda need that to take care of anything... i'll hold them and interact with them if someone has one, though i don't know anyone who currently has them anymore (most people i know have dogs or cats)... but not my thing
birds are easy for me to live with and take care of and i don't find them at all irritating so it works out...
Clean animals have a scent so faint most people can't detect it. Much less find it annoying/bad. Or tell that someone has cats without seeing a litter tray/water bowl/cat door etc, or there being shittons of shed hair in the place.
>MFW keep running into genderspecial non-binaries with 37843 diff pronouns on tumblr
I know it's old hat like what do you expect from tumblr honestly, but I really had no idea it was actually that prevalent it's like an epidemic of transconfusion