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FtMg: D Bag Edition
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
Google Hangout: TBA
because accepting environments lead to more openness about things people find important in their lives. tumblr is sometimes only conditionally accepting, but unless you're the hyper-privileged boogeyman or stumble into the worst parts you'll generally do fine
Ever since I started T injections 3 months ago I'm either horny or hungry, sometimes both. Jesus it just won't end. The other day I thought about getting Chipotle after the GYM and got a chubb.
Been lurking here for a while.
Since I was a kid, I've felt I should be a boy, but the dysphoria started kicking in around puberty. When I found out about the concept of FTM transgender at 15 or so, I grew fascinated and thought about transitioning, then denied it, questioned it, denied it again, and this cycle kept repeating until last month, shortly after my 21st birthday.
Now I'm starting to accept that I'm trans, unfortunately in the age of the transtrenders. I'm on a forum where at least half of the active members claim to be transgender in some form, and I feel like I'm jumping on the bandwagon. I'm excited about transitioning when I get the chance, but the last thing I want is to receive attention for it. I don't think I can stealth it because it feels dishonest (my body is naturally female, there is no denying that), but if I don't I might be grouped as yet another whiny snowflake SJW, which I am not by any stretch.
Not only that, I'm socially awkward as hell, sheltered myself and got addicted to the internet during puberty to cope with personal stress. Suddenly hopping back into the world as a man, without having grown up as a biological one, sounds terrifying. I'm hoping HRT will help me feel more at ease, but what if that isn't enough? Plus I need to get a job to save up money for it first, and even the thought of that makes me anxious.
It's worth it trust me. A year from now you will wish you had started this month.
Most people in the LGBT scene do not fall under the SJW label, it's just that they are the loudest and most annoying mouth pieces. It's a stereotype we all have to deal with. I'm sure regular black people hate the thug niggers that are the loudest in their demographic and regular Hispanics hate the lazy cholo image they are viewed as on a daily basis. Most of us just want the ability to live our fucking lives, pay our taxes and give to society what is due, and for people to mind their own fucking business. Unfortunately bigots will always latch onto the lowest of the low in any demographic and use it to generalize and cast everyone in the same light.
You handle and defeat this "special snowflake" idea that has become so encompassing for our crowd by living your life held to standards based on self discipline, self dependency, a quiet pride in who you are, and by not being a bitch that expects a hand out because you are different.
>someone actually made a thread this time
I'm so proud of you, ftmg.
I'm not the same person you responded to, but how do you know you won't regret it. Reading up on it, it sounds like T has a big effect on your body. Not to mention how transition affects your interpersonal relationships.
Is it really all worth it, it sounds like you won't know how you'll feel and other people will react until after the fact, no?
Depending on how you feel when you start the hrt is going to decide whether or not you continue and are comfortable with the changes. I have felt this way since I was 12 and just started transitioning at 27 because I'm going to be honest, I had no idea that ftm was even a thing, that what I was feeling even had a name.
What other people think and how other people react is up to them. And if you base how you live your life on the judgement of other people, then you need to take a step back and ask yourself why your self esteem and how you live your life is dependent on other people. What has made you so weak of an individual that you would be willing to live your life to meet the demands of people who couldn't give less of a damn about you. If that is how you live life, regardless of who you are, you need to talk to someone professional.
It's not going to be easy and you will lose some people you thought would be with you as you become how you feel on the inside. But would you really have a relationship with someone based on a lie that you keep trying to convince yourself doesn't exist? I do not have a relationship with my parents anymore, my redneck relatives all think that anyone from the lgbt crowd are automatically sex offenders and refuse to let me see my younger nieces and nephews. Does it suck? yes.
But I would happily light my bridges on fire if it means lighting the path to who I really am.
As a cis male this seems relatively normal to me. Pretty much any time anything is interesting or good, or you try hard physically, chance of getting hard. Always hungry, even when don't want to eat, food commands instant interest even if not hungry. Also your hunger goes up notches if you're working out, to the point that you start to eat like a wolf.
How do you 'know' you won't regret any choice in life? You only get to live once. It's better to try for happiness if it seems possible than to go 'BUT WHAT IF' and live in depression and dysphoria.
oh god what have they done... now I need to buy this.. I know at least 5 people who would look fantastic in it.
I mean uh, hey ftmg. You guys setting up a dnd game?
"Swadloon" anon here.
Luckily my family isn't bigoted. I came out to my dad recently, and he seems alright with it, but likely not taking me seriously yet. That's probably for the best. I only told him because I don't want to be sneaky while figuring myself out and binding and such. I'm a bit worried about how my family will act when I actually start to transition, and it's not about them hating/shunning me. They'll more likely be awkward around me and gossip concern about me “being confused”.
I've always been a tomboy (except when I over-exaggerated girl behavior to fit in after my male friends abandoned me for “their kind” as a kid), and that's what I kept assuming when questioning my identity every time. Just a tomboy.
I became irritated around fellow tomboys because they usually fit in with the guys better than I could. They were the stereotypical tomboy, liking skateboarding and violent video games, more up most boys' alley at that time. I was more of a dorky Pokemon fan type of guy, so I was left in the dust.
It wasn't until middle school when I felt the disconnect body-wise. I always wore a jacket to hide my figure. I got used to it later on, but still doesn't feel “right”. When I idly think about myself I'm male until I look down and see the opposite. But I don't hate my body. I think it looks decent on its own, but it doesn't feel like me. It makes me feel awkward. However, I feel happy when I notice my masculine features and imagine more, when my voice is low-pitched, etc.
But not having full hatred for my female traits made me wonder if I really am trans. I don't get upset when “misgendered” either, just a sense of “eh, that doesn't feel right” and I move on. I don't have much dysphoria with my genitals compared to everything else, so bottom surgery won't be worth the effort. Heck, it took me a while to realize I wasn't only penisless as a kid. The idea of having at least a big clit sounds pretty appealing though, tbch.
You don't have to hate your female traits to be trans. It's a common expression of the mental distress that leads people to transition, but it's not the only one. The entire point of it is to just live in a way that doesn't make you feel bad, and if you think of yourself as male, you're probably going to have a better time living as male. Especially once the negative effects of dysphoria/depression stop hitting you. Often people don't realize how it's hitting them til after it stops.
Oh god this is so true. So so so true. I'm in my first year of college, about to go back for my second semester. I've been going as stealth as someone can go after having started T only 6 months ago, and I am the happiest I've ever been. I can't believe how much better everything has gotten now that I'm studying what I love as a person that I can finally love.
I'm happy to hear that, anon. Fist bump? Fist bump.
I think the reason a lot of people get confused about this stuff is because it's fucking with your brain already by the time it comes up. Erodes your ability to understand it/be reasonable about it, which just makes the whole thing more confusing.
Also, I have questions. For the gay/bi guys in this thread, do you generally top, bottom, or not care?
For the straight ones, or people with straight friends, do straight friends date straight girls, or bi/gay girls?
Hell yeah, fist bump.
See, I kind of came out to myself "late" in life (13 or 14 years old...), and my mom think that this tardiness somehow invalidates my transness? Like, because I wasn't saying "I'm a boy, I should have a penis" as soon as I could talk, that I'm making all this up. Eugh. I don't talk to her much, if I can avoid it.
I'm bi. With guys, I would love to top, if I feasibly could. I like bottoming a lot, though. I'm pretty sub. With women, I've pursued exclusively bisexual girls, but I haven't been attracted to many girls lately, so idk. Maybe I'd be more confident now and be okay with a completely straight girl. One girl I dated ended up coming out as a lesbian a while later, but I don't think any self-respecting trans guy would knowingly date a lesbian.
Earlier in the last bread, someone was saying how where they lived a lot of butch lesbians had identified as male and still basically dated lesbians but as guys, and I was a bit wtf about that.
So you're bi and would like to top but like bottoming as well, and have only bottomed so far? And wouldn't date a gay girl, and haven't pursued straight girls? Hrm. In that you'd like to try to date, or would have liked to try to date, straight girls but likely they will have issues with ftm stuff? That's kinda interesting, thinking about it.
Working it out at 13/14 sounds pretty okay. Being teenaged shit is confusing anyway without being trans, and there's a lot of reasons to repress stuff. Lotta people would probably be pretty envious that you worked it out that early and managed to bullet time dodge a bunch of dysphoria.
Further question: do you feel like you're submissive with guys due to feeling self-conscious and shit over ftm, or just naturally?
I got a "thank you Sir" on the phone at work today. I had not realized just how deep my voice has gotten.
I have no issue with exclusively straight girls, I just haven't dated one in the past.
And yeah, but I didn't start T until after I was 18, and because of money issues, I'm not gonna be able to get top surgery for a couple years. :(
I'm going to move to Silicon Valley for a new job, hoping that the new job is a place where I can socially transition, has anyone here had good or bad experiences for transitioning at work in Silicon Valley or the Bay Area?
I'm not talking about Beatrice, though when I was a kid I always thought that actor was a dude living as a woman.
Just seeing an ftm character(Gil) surprised me. Only other one I can think of in a show or movie is the one from Degrassi and it was dumb.
i wasn't being serious... she was just manly as fuck...
i don't even watch that show, my mom used to when i was a kid and i remember just not being interested... never seen the trans character on degrassi either...only ever heard of him... my s/o's sister was really into it when we lived there for a while, but that was before he was a character...
i suppose i can't think of any transguy characters in anything though come to think of it... but i guess i've never really cared about it either
This face analyzer thing is bullshit. A lot of those faces actually do look like my father and uncle, but 88% masculine? It made me feel good about myself for like two seconds, but I know it's not even close to true. I'm far too self-conscious to post an actual picture of myself, but I'm hideous and I want to put my face through a window or something right about now.
I got "ma'am"-ed all the way through IKEA today, even before people heard my (too-high) voice. I haven't been addressed as a guy since I was an androgynous little kid with a stupid bowl cut and a love of overalls. How long is it going to take? I know I need to be patient, but fuck, I hate myself so much, I wish I could go around wearing a garbage bag whenever I have to go outside. I'm not even sure what the fuck it is about my face that causes people to always clock me as female. I wish I did know, because then maybe I could change it.
>gay/bi guys in this thread
I mostly bottom. Ive found it to be much more convenient and enjoyable method for both me and my partner to get off. I haven't dated anybody with purely hetero tendencies before either, but I wouldn't not go for a with a straight girl. Generally I gravitate towards other bisexuals.
shit doesn't always happen when you'd like it to, but sometimes shit is worth pursuing even if it's not at the ideal point in time... love is one of those things
it's really stupid to let something like that pass you by just cuz shit's not ideal... best you can do is be honest about yourself and how you're planning on dealing with dysphoria and taking shit from there... they might not be around in a year, but you'll likely regret it for a lot longer than that... just saying...
i've been eating like shit this whole week, be glad that the female hormones are gone because I haven't gained any extra weight. might be different than you but instead of before when i'd dread weighing myself for all the extra weight, now it's hard to get it to go up.
n another note, Does anyone have a good workout guide? I want to start getting man shoulders now that i've been on t close to 7 months now and i'm still pretty much fat.
What do you legbutts think about trolling induced transsexuality? The assholes over at encyclopedia dramatica are claiming they see a pattern.
"truscum" = transmedicalist
some simply think you need dysphoria to be trans, others think you need to conform to their perfect ideal of transness that goes way beyond what the dsm-5 or wpath require (e.g. you must have debilitating genital dysphoria, you can't be nonbinary or enjoy anything stereotypically associated with your birth gender, etc.).
the ones who claim that myriad people who fit the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria are "transtrenders" are pretty bad. they don't make up everyone who uses the "truscum" label, but they're a very vocal group, so it's understandable why some reasonable people would come to see the label as a negative thing in general.
>it's understandable why some reasonable people would come to see the label as a negative thing in general.
Well it was originally a slur thought up by tucutes for transmedicalists anyway I think?)so it was a negative descriptor to begin with... and it has the word scum in there to boot. but what I meant was the idea behind seems sound to me. Trans need dysphoria, okay, seems reasonable enough because otherwise how would you recognise you were trans?
i imagine it's just a matter of people thinking anyone who transitions counts, and some people transition without dysphoria...
personally i consider someone with dysphoria trans before and/or after transition, and people without it who transition aren't... even if they have a full beard and i call them "he" they're not the same as someone who has a medical issue... they made a choice, and there was no medical necessity so it's not really the same and using the same word for them doesn't make any sense...
and i'm honestly not sure why that opinion bothers people like that... i mean, i still think if they want to go on hormones and have surgery they should be able to (i don't think they should be covered by insurance though whereas i think dysphoria related treatment should be) and i can respect them as whatever... but it's clearly not the same as someone having a medical issue that requires treatment
most truscum come across as the kinda people you find in any minority group, like the marathon runners who poo-poo people who don't run in competitive marathons but who still do marathon style running/friendly marathons, or model train collectors who poo-poo the ones who use store-bought tracks, or gay guys who who insist that if you don't go to gay bars and do gay culture things, you're clearly in the closet, the kind of people who create some 'better' category that they fit into in order to justify elitism and general dickishness.
Maybe some people are trans for shit reasons and shitting up the place, sure. But trying to create a category and saying everyone in A is fine and everyone in B is a shitlord is about the worst possible way to do it. Then labeling yourself with a word that means you believe in the categories turns it into flagrant tribalism and immediately turns you into a worse human being.
For example, i'm against 'truscum', due to all those ^ reasons. Note that saying that on it's own would immediately lead to various insults and judgements being leveled at me, and in a less anon context, social weighting laid against me and being able to be a member of any group that contained a significant number of 'truscum' individuals. It's just a shit way of thinking and leads to stupid, /mtfg/ style infighting and bullshit. If people want to transition out of some sexual fetish or whatever, just letting them do that is less bad press than trying to 'stop' them by acting like retards at them. Like anything trans people can do is gonna stop people that the entire weight of society disapproving hasn't.
honestly if they transition it seems weird to me to not call them trans. if there was another umbrella term for both us & nondysphoric transitioners i'd be fine with that too, but while they don't have our mental medical issues, once transitioned they face the same physical medical issues & social issues as us. so it feels weird to me to act like there's no relation at all.
i liked that proposal earlier in a different thread to popularize a new term, gdt or gender dysphoric trans, to make it clear who you're talking about, but it didn't seem to stick.
When did this place become littered with tumblr horseshit?
The problem with tumblr is that instead of actual arguments or info they spout 'mah feels' and insults.
Kiiinda like you're doing right now.
i don't really see a relation... they choose those social issues, and they choose the physical ones... when you have dysphoria there isn't a choice it's an actual condition, using the same word to describe what they do (or adding letters to it to make it different) does everyone with a medical condition a huge disservice cuz your average person isn't gonna learn a whole bunch of terminology to describe something and differentiate between medical necessity and a choice...
Most of /mtfg/ takes that image seriously, there's a whole thread full of pictures of anime girls in SS uniforms currently on /lgbt/ to prove that the redpill retard brigade isn't just confined to /pol/ anymore, they've actually taken over most of the boards entirely, and somehow have justified being trans with conservative/natsoc shit and so have to find some new things to be morally superior to.
If you don't see a relation, you're being wilfully blind. The word, itself, trans, means transgender (or transsexual) which is the physical process that is occurring with people transitioning for non-dysphoric reasons. Which, uh. There's no proof is even a thing. There's good evidence that most people claiming the opposite are just doing the extremely common mental tactic of denying <bad thing> exists in the hope it will go away. 'I'm not gay, I just suck cocks'. 'I'm becoming a woman... for financial reasons.. because women have it easier.. because I want to for no reason at all...'.
If someone is changing the gender they appear and act as, they're fucking trans. End of story. You can say they're non-dysphoric trans or whatever, but you can't ignore the literal dictionary meaning of the word to justify elitism.
we don't choose how the world we live in works, and pretending we do is victim blaming. it's not like nondysphoric trans people choose how society is going to treat them once they're visible, any more than someone in a polyamorous relationship chooses to be lectured at, avoided, or ridiculed due to their relationship. that person could've chosen to avoid those reactions by dating only one person, but they can't choose to live in a world where no negative reactions occur unless they're very lucky & can Isolate themselves within a very limited group.
god, i hate what 4chan is becoming. someday soon i'll probably just leave
i'd disagree on lack of dysphoria just being denial about it - usually denial has to do with being the type of person discriminated against, which in this case would be "trans people," not "people with dysphoria." but i don't know, maybe it does soften the blow for some people.
you can think that, and i'll continue to disagree with you... that's not elitism that's just reality... if someone experiences no dysphoria they aren't dealing with what i am... if they're in denial then they do, and that's different altogether
like i said if a chick without dysphoria decides she wants to be a guy then that's fine, i'll respect her and call her by the right pronouns when she transitions, but i don't see it the same... i see pre-everything dyshporic transpeople as what they are (either a transguy or a transgirl) without the elective surgery cuz they experience dysphoria and it's a medical issue
you know sometimes the victim is partially responsible... i know god forbid anyone says that right? if someone chooses to walk around waving a bunch of money around at 3 am in a shit neighborhood and gets mugged that's kinda their fault...
calling every god damn thing victim blaming takes away from the idea if personal responsibility and that's fucking retarded...
non dysphoric people who transition are choosing to live a life where they know ridicule is a possibility... they have no medical need for transition they are making a choice... i know there's stigma against drugs and tattoos and piercings but i'm open about my drug use and i have visible tattoos and piercings... i don't cry victim when someone doesn't receive that shit well cuz i know and i've made my choice...
i've been in a polyamourous relationship, i know what comes along with that too... i chose to be open about it anyway and didn't give a shit... cuz i know what the world around me is like and that the choices i make will be viewed in a certain light
however, i haven't chosen to be trans... i've had dysphoria my entire life... the bullshit i experience due to it is unavoidable, i have no choice in it... that's just what my life is, and it's different than making a choice and then bitching about the social issues that come with it like they're the same
I used to post on /lgbt/ ages ago, and then went away, and came back, and it's full of nazis. Think how I feel about it. This site was full of stupid, but at least it wasn't redditpill stupid.
So if, for example, I don't have Lyme's Disease (you're that person with Lyme's, right, the constant ellipsis spam is pretty distinctive), and am not going through what you are, I can't use any words you use to describe yourself to describe myself? Because you are more speshul and should get to co-opt english terms to mean only your specific kind of snowflake?
You can call trans people by the wrong pronoun or whatever you like, it just makes you a dickhead because you're harming other people purely to feel superior to them. You're not breaking the law to do so, but you are doing things i'd consider ethically wrong. Lots of other people would consider being a dick to people to feel better than them wrong, too.
What you're saying is that anyone who 'chooses' to be trans 'deserves' anything you or anyone else does to fuck them over.
I say if you fuck someone over for no good reason, you 'deserve' a punch in the face.
You're not a real man if you fuck people over because they're 'not trutrans' or whatever other bullshit reason.
yeah i have lyme, if you didn't and you were saying you did then that'd be about the same as me saying i have cancer... i don't so it doesn't work
that doesn't make me special (or them) it just means i'm going through something someone else isn't also going through... that doesn't mean they don't understand things like chronic pain or some shit, it just means they don't have the same exact illness...
experiencing dysphoria doesn't make me (or anyone) special or more unique than everyone, but it is what it is and calling something else the same exact thing makes no sense...
we have different words for different things so that people understand what others are talking about... that's kinda the entire point of language
i don't feel superior to anyone, as a matter of fact i imagine not being dysphoric and choosing to transition is probably a lot nicer than this shit... but i can still recognize the difference between a choice and a medical treatment (like i said before it's the difference between reconstructive plastic surgery and elective plastic surgery) and failure to see the difference doesn't make it nonexistent...
i don't believe in the word "deserve" so that's whatever really... no one deserves anything really... good or bad... so i wasn't saying that at all, that's just you putting words in my mouth... which is fine, i don't really give a shit what you want to think i mean
i'm not fucking anyone over, i'm stating my opinion... medical treatment is different than making a choice, that's just the truth... i don't care what other people do with their bodies, and i respect their right to and i'll treat them however they want... but i'm not gonna call two unrelated things by the same exact word and pretend they're the same
Just stop, mate. You're embarrassing yourself.
So you don't believe in deserve, but you do believe in effectively the same meaning, via the word 'fault'. Seems legit.
Transgender means transgender. Saying that 'changing your gender' requires dysphoria and that 'trans', the word, which means changing your gender, can't be applied to people who don't have dysphoria even if they've CHANGED THEIR GENDER is just twisting the english language to mean shit it doesn't actually mean.
Saying it's okay if someone has bad shit happen to them if they choose to be trans and that they shouldn't 'bitch about it', and that it's 'their fault' for 'choosing it' and that it's not victim blaming to say that, means you're condoning bad shit happening to people. You're saying it's fine, because they 'chose it'.
There is no other way to read those sentiments.
Ergo, you're a dickhead.
Trans people without dysphoria complaining about bad shit, and not wanting bad shit to happen to them purely because transition is perfectly reasonable.
Saying they chose bad shit when what they chose is to be a girl/boy because they wanted to, something I find remarkably indistinguishable from 'suffering distress due to seeing yourself as the other gender' except perhaps in severity, is victim blaming. It's the definition of victim blaming. You're saying that a choice unrelated to the bad thing happening was 'in effect' a choice for the bad thing to happen. That's textbook. Definitional.
Pretending that you're not is just yet more dickhead behaviour. You think dickheads think they're dickheads? Nope. They have all sorts of reasons as to why it's okay to be an asshole. In their case. In that situation. They see nothing wrong with the shit they do.
>noticing and documenting trends
Ok buddy, keep on co-opting medical conditions to look cool
i wrote a response, it didn't post, and i'm not gonna bother rewriting it... long story short you're misinterpreting what i said... but alright, namecall all you want... sorry you don't understand my opinion that you dislike so much, you should go smoke or take a drink or something though... you're way too fucking angry...
I get what you're saying, I do. But at the same time I'm just not capable of being with someone. I don't even like when family members hug or touch me let alone someone else, and I wouldn't want to put another person through all of my insecurities. Maybe I will regret this down the line and maybe I won't, but I'm just trying to be reasonable with myself and what I'm capable of handling right now and a relationship isn't it.
Then again what I think may not matter anyway, because I'm already so fucking sucked into this person. Fuck love.
I feel like all of this would be solved if we changed the words Brooklyn was using...
Look, maybe they're technically "transgender" if they choose to make the transition without dysphoria. Yeah. Okay. But they don't have gender identity disorder or I guess it's now called just Gender Dysphoria. The implication of the word transgender is someone who is transitioning to ease their gender dysphoria, and when people just choose to transition without dysphoria, they can't expect to be able to correctly call themselves gender dysphoric. And the words transgender and GID or GD have become synonymous because there didn't used to be morons who went through the complex, difficult process of transitioning just because they ~want to~. So while the denotative meaning of "transgender" applies, the connotative meaning does not, and that's where the frustration and objection from people with Gender Dysphoria (aka trans people) comes from.
>it's not like nondysphoric trans people choose how society is going to treat them once they're visible
Except they are, lol.
They can choose to live a happy life as the cis girl/guy they actually are, but they CHOOSE to co-opt the trans identity instead
maybe you should just... stop worrying and be who you are, and let them be who they are and just see what happens naturally... part of loving someone is accepting them at any rate even when they're in a fucked up place or going through something hard
i just don't see a point in closing yourself off or worrying about what you can't deal with... and you know it's really different to hug someone you're in love with than it is to hug someone you don't have those feelings for... there's something different there that can cancel out shit...
i just think it'd be a shame if you closed yourself off completely from something that can have a huge impact on your life just cuz of something shit you can't control (though you can work on how much of your life it takes away)
like... i don't have much really, but my relationship with my s/o is definitely the most meaningful thing i have, and i've had really bad points with dysphoria (i mean i tried to kill myself with it being a huge factor at one point...) so i do get it, but i just think you should consider opening yourself up to the possibility of letting something worthwhile into your life in spite of all your fears...
you're pretty fluent in me lol, that's mostly what i was saying... though i honestly wouldn't call non dysphoric transitioners morons... i really don't see anything wrong with people doing anything they want to their bodies since it's the only thing people can ever actually own, and i don't think it's stupid to alter your body however you see fit...
but i honestly think they might be batshit crazy based on their conversations with me and whoever else they were talking to... so i'm really ok with them thinking i'm an asshole and a dickhead (? i can't remember and i'm too lazy to look)
there was no point... i wasn't saying they could choose the way other people react, obviously no one has any control over anyone else... however, it's not exactly a secret that some people are shit about other people transitioning... these people know beforehand and they choose to transition knowing it might come with those results... not due to a medical condition where transition is going to help them live a functional life, but by choice... and that makes it different
that's not me saying they deserve bad shit, that's me saying unless they're stupid they know that bad shit is a possibility and they choose to do something people might react poorly to anyway... people with dysphoria can only choose between living with dysphoria (which is fucking horrible, and leads to suicide and other fucked up shit often) or dealing with what reality is for someone who transitions...
Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't say they're morons. I just have difficulty understanding the mindset of someone who would willingly go through transition in this society when they don't feel like they have to. The amount of anxiety I feel about it every day is just ridiculous.
I honestly do think people should have the right to do whatever they want with their bodies and their lives as long as they're not infringing on anybody else's right to do the same, but let's not call a lemon a lime.
What point did you make?
Non-dysphoric people are CIS PEOPLE. I don't care they wanna play tranny dressup, they don't need to fucking transition to a gender they're not when they could just live as a crossdresser/bulldyke/ect
oh i meant there was no point in them ranting about it cuz everything they said was fucking retarded... just cuz i respond to something doesn't mean i think it has much of a point... most things don't
i'm just passing time...
i agree with you, and honestly i don't get it either cuz what's the point? especially when transition and hrt isn't even 100% perfect and indistinguishable from someone cis... but it's whatever i guess, not my place to tell people what to do
i'm with you though, i wish all the time that i didn't have something like this wrong with me and i can't get why someone would willingly choose to do something that i kinda see as not quite good enough when they're fine otherwise... but yeah it shouldn't be called the same thing... cuz it isn't
my point is that they deserve the same basic rights and respect we do, because it's not like they transition because they want to be abused and humiliated or something. we have things in common with them, just not dysphoria, and it's silly to deny that or scream "appropriation" as if this is tumblr
you misunderstand. you said i have no point and then agreed with everything i said in my post. i don't know why you're calling it "fucking retarded" when you just reiterated what i said from a different perspective
isn't telling them they can do whatever they want and calling them what they want good enough? what the fuck else is there?
i'm not gonna pretend it's the same as a medical issue when it's not one though... or like it's totally related, cuz it isn't...
that's not the same as saying they deserve bad shit, but come on... if you do something cuz you want to knowing how people are you kinda gotta accept that it isn't always gonna be easy and that you're choosing something that comes with stigma
+ the initial post was in response to something i said that was misinterpreted, and only said cuz my words were twisted and they (you?) were being retarded and saying unnecessary pointless shit and essentially arguing at me...
the uh different perspective makes all the difference...
so you're calling me "retarded" because you assume i agree with someone else who was arguing with you in a separate post? i wasn't even responding to your response to the angry guy, why on earth would you conflate me with him or assume i agree with his flawed reasoning?
wait, you're saying i misinterpreted you? how so? i saw how the other guy put words in your mouth & got mad at you for it, but you were still belittling the issues nondysphoric trans people face by acting like the fact it's a choice makes their hardships completely different from ours.
since when is calling a perspective or a statement "retarded" the same as calling a person retarded? people say stupid shit all the time, even intelligent people can say stupid shit... acknowledging a thing that's said is stupid isn't the same as calling a person stupid... so nah wasn't calling you anything (though i did call angry guy crazy cuz i think that might be true), and my bad if i read shit wrong...
seemed like you were saying they had an actual point though...
well it does make it completely different... that's not belittling anything, it's just acknowledging that it isn't the same... assuming i'm ranking shit in order of what's worse is misinterpreting cuz i'm not...
but if it sounds like it's worse when you don't have a choice to you... well maybe that's how you see it
>my point is that they deserve the same basic rights and respect we do, because it's not like they transition because they want to be abused and humiliated or something.
Unless they somehow live under a rock, they should damn well know how trans people are treated by society. It's their choice to transition as a nondysphoric person. I don't feel like they deserve any respect, given that their lives and mental health aren't dependent on transitioning like a dysphoric person's is.
for straight ftms, did you present as lesbian before transitioning or just pretend to like guys?
i know i like girls, but i don't want to be a lesbian, so i just pretend to be a straight girl.
>but i don't want to be a lesbian, so i just pretend to be a straight girl
I did that for a while during my overcompensation phase. Since my identity has always been 'straight' i thought, if i was going to act like a girl, i was going to be a straight girl since i thought of myself as a straight man.
>assumed i was straight as a kid
>then was bisexual for about 2 years in middle school before i figured out what trans was
>got scared, and went into overcomp mode
>was a straight cheerleader for last 2 years of highschool
>ghosted everyone i knew, and transitioned in college
i live as a straight man now, but yeah i used to do that, i never felt like i was a lesbian at any point in my life. if i wasn't able to transition for whatever reason, i'd be living as a straight gril
>talking to girl I've had a thing with for a while
>things are going smoothly as usual
>say something dumb like using the wrong word in a sentence
>spaghetti starts to seep from pockets
>suddenly can't keep composure
>keep saying retarded shit
>spaghetti on maximum overdrive
Why is this my life. As if being trans wasn't bad enough I had to be cursed with figurative autism too.
in addition to the cleanliness question, it's best to wear black undergarments if you're concerned about them being visible through thin shirts. this is because no matter what your skin color, the contrast between black and skin is much less than the contrast between white and skin.
i have (and i literally count them every time i say this) 16, and i'd like more... but i've just always liked tattoos, and i enjoy getting them... it's not an overcompensation thing (which i imagine leads to tattoo regret... probably shouldn't cover your body in something for that reason)
there's a few places i wouldn't tattoo personally (face, throat, ass, junk), but i don't give a shit about what other people do with their bodies...
in all honesty things like the way you carry yourself do more to make you look less insecure than covering your body with tattoos... if you cover yourself in tattoos and are still insecure and project that in your body language and attitude people are gonna still know... and it's not like having tattoos makes someone not a wimp...
get tattoos if you like and want them, but shit like exercise is more likely to make you more confident... and learn to fight if you're worried about being a wimp
I don't want to fight, that's the thing.
Okay maybe getting on T will make me more aggressive but right now I'd really prefer getting treated with gentle cautiousness preserved for tiny, fragile and delicate things.
knowing how to fight doesn't mean you gotta do it, it's just a good way to provide the kinda confidence that goes along with not being a wimp... which i figured is what you were going for... sounds more like you kinda just are and wanna be treated as such though, and that's fine... if you're fragile and delicate and want to be treated like that... the. that's you, enjoy it
but being trained to fight doesn't make someone aggressive, and it doesn't mean they are either... just means they're aware of how to handle themselves should the need ever arise...
but tattoos don't change who a person is, and if you're doing it to not look the way you want to be treated that seems counterproductive...
I just need something that'll make people convinced that trying to fight me is a bad idea BEFORE they try it. Kinda like poisonous animals are usually really, really bright-coloured as a warning.
there's 60 year old women with tattoos... why would that do anything?
and you're not gonna get treated the way you actually want if you looked like that anyway... if you're intimidating no one is gonna treat you like a delicate, fragile thing... cuz delicate, fragile things aren't intimidating...
and besides how fucking often are people trying to fight you anyway? what are you going around and doing to provoke that kinda behaviour that it's even on your mind?
alternatively you know what's inexpensive, and will keep most people from trying to start anything with you without you ever needing to exercise or learn something like self defense to build confidence? don't change your clothes for a week and walk around mumbling to yourself... no one wants to fight crazy
I have never had an adult man genuinely physically threaten me (save for getting creeped at while dressing like a whore in girl mode alone in a bar but that was a self-destructive thing to be pulling anyway), but I get scared that it will happen eventually.
Men fight each other, that is just what they do. One day one of them will realise I'm defective and decide to rip me into fucking shreds.
How long does it usually take for your goddamn libido to calm down on T? Holy shit dude I'm going insane.
>tfw you aren't due to meet up with your LDR partner again until near the end of the fucking year because you're both poorfags
I think he may be going just as insane as I am knowing how fucking horny I am all the time and not being able to do anything about it. This must be what hell is like.
I may actually die. Send help.
lol what the fuck are you even talking about? are you ever actually around men? or women?
most people don't want to get into a physical fight, they actively avoid them... and most people haven't been in a fight since they were high school age or under if ever... men included... i know plenty of adult men (and women) and 90% of them haven't been in a fight like that as an adult
not to mention women are way more likely to hit first cuz most of them have this "no one is gonna do anything back" mentality, they're also more vicious usually when they do fight
there are certain kinds of people who are more likely to get caught up in violent shit, but that's not really a gender issue that's a social circle issue usually...
are you ever around people? where do you get your ideas on how shit works?
aside from all that, even if the world worked the way you think it does (it doesn't, but for the sake of discussion let's pretend) someone could see your poisonous animal colour display in the form of tattoos on your body, still fight with you and then proceed to kick your ass cuz you'll have learned no actual skill to prevent the thing you're so worried about... cuz people don't just go "oh they have tattoos that's scary as hell" unless you've got some prison or gang tattoos, and then you'd only be scaring people who wouldn't be likely to fight you anyway...
are you the guy with the gem phone?
in other words... you don't know how to behave around the vast majority of people?
were you severely abused by guys or something? or is it the opposite and you don't really have any male figures in your life and didn't grow up with any either?
i'm genuinely curious why you think so many people want to harm you, and why you're so afraid of men specifically...
Pretty much, yes. Virtually all my family and friends are female. As a matter of fact I don't think I've had a conversation face-to-face with a man this year.
I'm not saying they want to harm me, personally. Just the same way people kick furniture that's on the way.
If you're terrified of guys fighting you, and walking around like that, you're going to either draw assholes due to smelling like fear or more likely you're going to snap and start 'defending yourself' against someone who didn't do shit.
And since you'll hugely overreact, good odds you'll end up in jail.
nice, i like that he has a hat...
well, i can tell you're not around guys based on the way you think of them...
why are you so insistent they're so terrible if you're not around one? are any of your female relatives really scared of men?
you aren't furniture, shouldn't compare yourself to it... dehumanizing yourself is shit
also they're >>5562421
probably right... your fear is likely to cause you to lash out at nothing or overreact...
also just saying, quite a few of my tattoos are visible and they don't at all make people intimidated by me or some shit... i'm the complete opposite of intimidating and even a yakuza suit of tattoos wouldn't do shit to change it...
None of my female relatives are scared of men. They simply widely agree that they are entirely unnecessary. Like keeping a big undomesticated animal in the house.
And I KNOW I'll probably freak out and lash out if I get scared or uncomfortable and that's the reason why I both don't carry a weapon and why I really, really need to make sure they're more scared of me than I am of them.
1. Humans are way more dangerous than sharks, but generally less randomly.
2. Learn what sets sharks off and don't do it.
Your shark tank analogy is basically the absolutely worst way to think about it.
The more you talk about this, the more it just sounds like some anti-rad-fem bait shit.
Very few people - basically no-one - has the attitude that 'men are unnecessary' or whatever. That's a weird attitude, that isn't really helpful for anyone and is much less common than the 2d radfems in hollywood mass media would have you believe. It's simplistic ('necessary' vs 'unnecessary' instead of varying degrees of everything), stupid (guys have slightly different cultural mores than girls but are still humans, and useful for everything humans are useful for), and more an excuse for fear-avoidance than anything logical.
Your reasoning for making people scared of you is equally specious. Scared people do stupid shit, like attack other people. You want to scare people, while also being shit-terrified yourself? Hahahahahahahahahah. That's the most retarded recipe for awful i've ever heard. Not going to end well at all.
The logical fucking answer is stop treating men like monsters and maybe talk to some men? And find out they aren't slavering to destroy you or whatever fucking retarded shit you currently believe?
Source: am a man, not currently slavering to destroy anything
so if they're not scared why are you?
how can you be afraid of people you don't know? or judge an entire group of people based on one distorted perception that comes from zero experience?
have you ever considered that maybe people spend time telling you the world doesn't work like that cuz it doesn't? why are you so sure that you're right as you admit to having less experience?
no one is gonna be afraid of you unless you act like a psycho, and honestly it seems like maybe there's a good chance you do...
look i don't dislike you (i actually genuinely like you cuz you say shit i could never imagine someone else saying and talk about things i've never even considered speaking to someone about... which makes you interesting and entertaining, your distorted perspective is unusual and i enjoy it), but how can you be so stubborn about the idea that you're right if you've never had any experiences that prove what you're saying right and never given anyone a chance to prove you wrong?
You should seek therapy. You obviously at the very least have some anxiety issues that need to be addressed. Lashing out when you are uncomfortable isn't normal. Even on the off chance you are being threatened, its much better to diffuse a situation than it is to fight. Trying to make yourself look scary is just going to make more people notice you. If you walk around with an attitude then people are going to have an attitude back. If someone does threaten you, its just better to back down. They will give up, unless their sole reason for going out that day was to beat someone and unless you're minority then you'll probably be fine.
My source is that I'm a tiny, irrate ftm with tattoos who has been in a few fights and am also surrounded by drunks and crackheads so I'm in a shit neighborhood.
I don't know. My dad was quite often little more than a mildly destructive house pet (somewhat on the same level as a cat) and mom never implied that that kind of thing was in any way unusual or abnormal.
Again, I'm not saying one would be slavering away to destroy me or anyone else. I just don't know what sets them off and what doesn't.
They're bigger and stronger than me and I'm annoying. There are people who get tempted to make little annoying things stop making noises.
I don't see how I'm being stubborn. I'm just not going to touch a stovetop if I'm not 100% sure it's cold.
It doesn't seem entirely like bait, though. I think it's just a legitimately deeply confused person.
You're much more likely to get hit by a bus crossing the road than you are to get into a fight, even if you're 'annoying', unless you specifically go to the kind of bars where fights happen, and attempt to get into a fight. Like, get hit by a bus fatally. There are very few fistfights outside of specific bars in modern western countries. Even in tough-guy bars fights are still rare. People beating on other people is only really a concern if you're gay, and FtM dodge a lot of that bullet because FtM confuses skinheads, a racial minority in an area with racial tensions, or in one of those toughguy bars.
You have a wildly inaccurate view of how likely fights are to occur, and how likely any male is to 'be set off'. I have no idea what your home life is like but wow.
Also everything you're saying and how you're saying it is giving me heavy AS vibes.
Also, explain this.
> One day one of them will realise I'm defective and decide to rip me into fucking shreds.
Do you genuinely think this is a real thing that happens.
Cause what this says to me is you have anxiety issues about transition stuff, and you're channeling it into this fear of dudes.
idk that's why I'm scared of the syrian crisis reaching where I live. I don't know if these sons of odin are any less hostile towars LGBT alphabet soup than radical muslims but I'm on nobody's side for as long as nobody's on my side.
I don't know what AS means in this context, but if it's asperger's, you're not wrong.
Autistic Spectrum, although I guess it also can refer to Asperger's Syndrome.
Your problem is less related to men and more to being awkward as fuck, then. The answer to that is social contact with people who don't already know and make allowances for you.
This might also have the positive effect of removing some of the retarded beliefs (about men, the likelihood of coming into conflict with 'radical muslims', likelihood of getting gay bashed, etc) that you currently hold, and then maybe you can fear some more rational shit, like having your heart broken, or contracting cancer, getting hit by cars, your pet dying, getting fired, getting hit on at work by your boss etc, things that still happen extremely rarely but not like newsworthily rarely.
Inb4 this is bait for someone's 'getting beaten up' fetish.
there's bigger stronger women than you, are you afraid of them too?
and i'm annoying, i'm 5' tall, annoying and i come off way more harsh and sarcastic than i mean to and aside from that i can be a complete asshole... i'm also sick all the time and i'm not sure whether or not it shows, but it's all i see when i look at me so i imagine it must be... so i'm not threatening to anyone (though my s/o's friend seen me in a really bad mood/angry once, not at him, and thinks that's scary for some reason... i'm not at all a physically aggressive person though) on any given day... but people don't fuck with me, and they don't try to crush me for walking by them or to shut me up... i haven't been in a fight with someone who wasn't my sibling (which doesn't count, my bros and i grew up beating each other up both to play and settle fights, but that stopped when we were adults cuz that was just kid shit) since elementary school when me and this kid mark just fought each other just cuz and then were cool the next day... actually my bad this woman once tried to attack me in a train station and i had to hit her off me and hold her back when i was 15... but whatever she was legit crazy...
anyway i know for a fact people have wanted to hit me past that age, but they don't cuz that's just not how most people behave... men included
i grew up around plenty of guys, with plenty of men in my family... and close to a lot of them (particularly my grandpa, my uncle/godfather, and my little bro), and even though my dad was/is an abusive dick i had plenty of examples of guys who weren't at all like him... and what you're saying is just not at all an accurate portrayal of most men, and assuming women are somehow harmless is equally crazy cuz plenty of them aren't
and i'm not saying that to make you scared of both men and women... i'm saying that cuz you really need to be more realistic... some women are violent and so are some men, that's what people are actually like
+ i'm saying you're stubborn cuz you're speaking in extremes in spite of zero proof or experiences outside of just "this is what i believe cuz i believe it"
and if people are stovetops you better stay away from all of them, men and women cuz there's never a 100% guarantee you aren't gonna get burned...
So, an espresso martini, yeah?
Or are you a baileys mocha drinker.
I don't actually have the ingredients for either of those, but this is the internet, so i'm gonna lie and say I do.
Baileys hot chocolate is best. If you don't agree, 1v1 oil wrestle tomorrow at dawn
I am sorry I offended you with my mental illness.
idk as far as I've understood the key difference between men and women is that when women don't like you they talk shit behind your back instead of telling you to shut the fuck up to your face.
Where do I get social contact with people I don't know?
testosterone and aggression are linked. Women don't physically beat each other up because it's just easier to spread rumours to destroy their enemies' social lives. It hurts more and longer but doesn't get you jail time.
i thought you're just supposed to put whatever hard liquor you have around into coffee regardless of taste so you don't have to hear "isn't it too early for drinking?" from anyone? pretty sure the last time i had alcohol in coffee it was just a bunch of vodka...
If you just want to hide your secret drinking, just put alcohol into a mug. Unless they check your mug, you're having coffee/tea/whatever.
Groups or events aimed at things you're interested in. People who know people you know. Support groups. Skype people from 4chan.
>testosterone and aggression are linked
Actually, no. Cultural factors are largely why men fight - the increased anger and strength from testosterone are there, but aren't the deciding factor at all.
It doesn't actually make your fears any more reasonable.
except women do physically beat each other up... i've known plenty of chicks who have been in fights, and who would be more than willing to fight if necessary... shit the last time i seen someone attack someone it was a chick i kinda know attacking a female friend of mine on the boardwalk of coney island beach cuz she thought my friend called her a bitch... and lesbians have some of the highest rates of domestic violence... not all women are catty bitches who spread rumours and talk shit behind people's backs...
i've known plenty of passive guys as well... who are not at all ok with physical violence and try like hell to avoid it...
not all people are shitty gender stereotypes... you're just completely wrong
Oh, it's not about offense. You are so sure that a big scary man will beat you up that I want to show you that a tiny ambiguous FTM is just as capable of kicking your shit in.
And I have seen so many more fights between women than between men. Women get vicious very quickly because there's fewer repercussions. Two women yell at each other at a bar, people will look. Two women exchange blows at a bar, people will pull them apart. Two men yell at each other in a bar, security will be over physically separating them and throwing them out. Two men exchange blows and the police are called.
+ what's weird is i can go outside and not even bother hiding that i'm smoking weed several times a day, every day and not hear anything... but if i drink too often or get caught with a cigarette it's lectures all around... so i secret drink occasionally, and hide cigarettes, and smoke weed completely openly...
except no... women can severely hurt each other and often do... i've known chicks who have done shit like slammed other girls' faces repeatedly into the fucking sidewalk 'til they saw blood... women can be vicious, aggressive, and crazy... and way more likely to fight dirty too... you're being naïve if you think otherwise...
most men do not get as vicious as women do when they fight, cuz they've usually grown up with rules for fair fights being drilled into their heads... women don't usually have that or care...
btw men have varied interests, they're all different... same as anyone else
'Normal' 20-something men are interested in beer, work, cars, girls. Sometimes sports?
But if you name a thing, there are guys interested in that thing. Even traditionally female stuff. Guys are socially allowed to have weird hobbies, and so they entirely do.
idk might just be a bizarre perspective thing. I grew up witnessing girls being vicious and being taught that girls are the nice, docile ones. So it'd be natural I conclude that men are even worse.
I said "normal". I can go to a weeaboo convention and see males but those are not normal. Anime fans seem to be 80% female where I'm from.
idk I don't even like anime I just used to have friends who do.
I don't have any hobbies or interests. I didn't have the time to develop any before depression took over.
At first, but I drink a shitton and they're all lightweights so I'll probably cut it so they can keep up. They are the kind of people who just order long islands at the bar.
Probably just going to watch some movies and get lost in woods for a couple hours like the good old days.
So you're depressed, autistic, don't have any hobbies or interests, and have a raft of stupid-person beliefs like that 'normal' exists and/or that islams and mans are going to come and kill you or whatever.
Yeah, you're probably fucked.
Didn't I just have a convo with you on the last thread about my natural born thrist for alcohol? If that was you, then its too bad we aren't in the same country. I'd take you out for drinks, on me.
But that cab fare can be at least 2 more drinks. Do you even alcohol?
well try meeting new people, and letting your perspective expand... there's more to life than the shit you think you know already, but you're not gonna find it out being scared of damn near everything...
and there's no such thing as "normal" and honestly... even if there was you're not it, so why give a fuck? you can't become a normal just by adopting hobbies that you think "normal" guys might have... all people, men and women, have a variety of interests...
and honestly, you can talk to men and women the exact same way... i do all the time and it works out fine...
as for hobbies, doesn't really matter what you're into... people don't usually care about what your interests are, just that you have them... i've had friends i've had nearly nothing in common with and that works out cuz they tell you new shit and expose you to shit you never thought about and vice versa...
depression can make shit hard, i get that... there's been times where i lost interest in almost everything, but trying new shit and re-exposing myself to shit i used to like helped a lot... the worst shit you can do is nothing... besides i know you draw, that's something... what else do you do to pass time?
just get one that's exactly the same or we'll never know who you are...
and there's a lot of different kinds of people on 4chan, and you're the only one here who has the perspective you do... just saying...
Does anyone else get really depressed/jealous when they hear about other people having sex? I mean, in the sense that I'll never be able to hook up with a girl, or reproduce or make a woman happy. I can't even really watch normal porn, because it reminds me of what I'll never have.
>re-exposing myself to shit i used to like
That's the thing. I don't have anything. I was eight years old when I was first made to talk to somebody because I started talking about wanting to die. I've never had a normal not-having-depression -personality. There is literally nothing there.
I'm trying to write a book. I haven't gotten anything done today.
Pretty much anyone who isn't getting regularly laid feels that way, bud.
Also, there is literally nothing stopping you making a woman extremely happy except spaghetti. You don't need to reproduce to have kids (adoption, yo), and pleasure is skill, not whether your dick is flesh or rubber.
Lotsa people with depression live not-terrible lives. Your main problem is awkwardness and stupidity, both of which can be resolved by practice and education.
And as an author, HAH. Lots of people fail to write books, and they don't need to be depressed to do it.
>scrub it there
You're probably damaging yourself, bro. It's supposed to feel nice just vibrating nearby. Yours might be broke. Or you're too het up mentally to let it do it's thing.
you draw and you write, that's two things... so you're full of shit and just saying "i don't have anything" which is a hell of a lot different than actually having nothing...
i know what depression is like, and i know it doesn't have to be all consuming when you actually try to deal with it instead of just letting it eat you alive...
and everyone has a personality, you included...
is it that fantasy book you mentioned a while back?
It's just literally too numb to do anything. It literally does not feel any more pleasurable than cutting yourself or cleaning your ears with a q-tip.
so the clit is broken?
I got this disgusting ugly garbage and now it doesn't even work??
who said anything about enjoyment? i was just pointing out that you do shit and have hobbies... i write, i'd say it was a hobby, but i don't particularly enjoy it, it's just something i do... people who write tend to read, do you read?
eh idk that he's trolling... unless he's like made a character catfish style and has stuck to it for months... i think the only way he knows how to get attention is by being depressed, negative, and insecure though and he really craves attention...
I'm not even fucking trolling I am just so desperate for my fix of internet attention that I will expose the entirety of my pathetic, disgusting existence on 4chan just to have someone aknowledge me.
I try to, but I never get interested in it. It's even more of a chore than writing is.
this is 100% more safe than having sex with men I don't like.
maybe it's what you're trying to read? i go through points where i'll read like a book a day for a bit and then just lose all interest for months at a time... i'm not particularly picky when it comes to what i read, but i don't like plenty of shit...
what was the last book you tried to read?
you don't have to fuck people to get attention or have a conversation...
yeah a lot of nonfiction isn't particularly riveting... especially when it's educational, though i really like darwin's books on plant behaviour in spite of him being dry as fuck...
i'm really not into history personally, i mean some of it is interesting like i really enjoy crazy roman emperors (caligula and nero are my favorite historical figures), but for the most part eh
idk shit about china desu, learn anything interesting in the book?
do you normally read nonfiction? ever read memoirs of my nervous illness? it's my favourite non fiction book, and it was written by this guy who was extremely educated but had a mental breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital... he wrote about his delusions and such, some of which were highly religious and there's actually bits of the book where he describes delusions where he had a woman's body temporarily so that god could impregnate him... just all kinds of shit like that, but you could tell he was really intelligent reading it anyway...
Apparently there were TWO last empresses of china, the official wife and one of the concubines, who managed to fucking seize power by being genuinely friends instead of being catty bitches at each other and letting men run everything.
I'm pretty sure this would make a really great historical tv drama.
It will now become my second "why-the-fuck-is-there-no-show-about-this" -anger boner. The first one is Shaka Zulu.
I haven't heard about that, but sounds like some brilliant crazy shit.
so did the emperor die or some shit and she took over or what? when i say i don't know shit about chinese history i'm not even kinda exaggerating, i literally know fuckall...
the only historical tv drama i've ever watched the whole way through, and enjoyed was rome (it's based on julius caeser's reign, but with obvious fiction elements) it's actually my 2nd favourite tv show (after the sopranos, which i liked in spite of the ending) largely cuz titus pullo's character was fucking great... there's some extreme catty bitchiness in it though (atia is like... an extremely fucked up example of a crazy bitch, but she's a good character anyway)
i also know fuckall about shaka zulu
if you ever get a chance you should check it out, it's actually a really easy to get through book...
The emperor did die, and the two women convinced the team-of-eight-men-left-in-charge to let them have their own stamps on official papers and they were allowed to have them because the men thought that the women wouldn't try to yield any real power before the concubine's toddler son was old enough to rule.
Meanwhile, the men were collectively dooming all of china because Britain wanted tea and you don't fucking come between Britain and her tea.
Meanwhile, Shaka Zulu unified the various tribes that would form the Zulu nation and becoming their king (already being the former zulu king's bastard son), basically being an epic victorian era African king arthur, except that this shit actually happened.
Oh, and they were also waging war against Britain because the UK was really, really big on this whole "taking over the fucking world" -thing in those days.
Also, I made a tumblr blog again. If someone follows me there, I'll follow them right back, and maybe I'll annoy people less here.
that's some crazy shit... the extent of my knowledge on china is gunpowder pretty much, so i have nothing to contribute lol
so yeah...i'm like dumb as shit when it comes to history pretty much... like i passed it in school cuz i test well, but otherwise nah
my little bro is actually a history teacher though, but us history (which is his favourite, i always thought it was the most boring personally)
i don't use tumblr, but for the record i don't find you annoying... and when you actually have a conversation (like we just were) instead of just being down on yourself you've got shit to say that's interesting... like i said, i know fuckall about history, so summaries that don't require research are always cool
Pay in mind that I probably get like 90% of shit wrong.
But seriously tho the Zulu armour was, like, pretty-much-just-a-loincloth -stuff and their fighting tactics included SPITTING A SPICY MIST INTO THEIR ENEMIES' EYES as a distraction and I 100% need to see this on film.
I'm trying to gain attention on Tumblr by sending my more popular countrymen weird annoying asks. It's not very effective.
There's a film called Zulu, you know. It's about how the Zulus wrecked an entire british army and then this medical outpost got besieged by them. Lots of Zulu stuff, lots of colonialist british stuff. Considered a classic.
don't worry chances are i'm unlikely to retain any of it... or actually ever have another conversation on it again so it's all good... i was actually gonna say you could probably tell me fucking anything and i'd just be like "oh alright then" but like... if i'm actually gonna talk about something rather than just listen i do my own research cuz i'm just that sorta person... i don't feel comfortable talking about shit unless i've read it myself or whatever otherwise i just say "someone told me... but idk if that's true or not"
that's kind of a bitch move... there's actually a mini series (googled it) but idk shit about it other than it exists...
why not try something different? like not weird and annoying instead?
what are you doing aside from that? i'm in the car with my little bro trying to not puke while we wait for my s/o to get out of work... i was hoping our dealer would've gotten in touch, but he's been flaky lately... not entirely his fault though, he's homeless... gonna have to find someone new soon though cuz he's about to go to jail... there's 2 other dealers, but i don't like them as much... my s/o's friend might be going to jail soon too though which sucks
I'm ok, shitposting stuff on Tumblr and trying to ignore my sister and mom having a Serious Conversation. I can't really hear them save for muffled voices but it's always the same. Mom is like "y u no get job" and my sister starts to bawl.
It's amazing how like 80% of my mental problems disappear when I don't live in this house.
environment can have a huge effect on shit, my s/o leaving home and cutting contact with his mom has made a huge difference for him... toxic environments don't do anything positive for anyone...
i remember you saying a while back you felt like you had to be there to help your mom with your sister, but have you ever considered that getting away for your own well being might be necessary?
you can't live your life for your mom though you know? if this is really fucking you up you should consider thinking about yourself and your own well being...
your mom isn't gonna be around forever, what happens then? are you gonna take care of your sister in her place? you're depressed to the point where you're having a hard time connecting with people and having interest in anything... that's some severe shit, doesn't your mom care about how it's affecting you? does she see it?
if she doesn't see it or care then how exactly is she deserving of better kids?
not to mention you're not at all responsible for your sister's actions or shortcomings... and a good deal of being a parent is raising a kid so that they can be a self sufficient, functioning adult who can and does take care of and think for themselves... not so you have someone who helps you parent your other child or does everything for you... it's not selfish or wrong to pursue your own life or to care about your personal well being
ever considered that maybe part of your low self esteem is her always needing attention and always having issues that she's louder about than you?
why are you calling yourself a cancer though? what exactly do you do that's so horrible? i mean... it's not like a shitty thoughtless person would stay home even though it's harmful to them just to help their mother with their sis who has issues... i mean i think it's misguided good intent, but it's good intent nonetheless
She's just louder about everything.
The first summer she moved back home, she had a crying, wailing tantrum at mom EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. She would scream that her life was pointless and that she might as well walk under a train. Then mom would come complain about it to me as if I knew how to fix her.
Apparently that kind of talk stopped for a week after I tried to kill myself.
that sounds rough to live with, my s/o's sister has gotten like that... and the truth is other than hoping professional help can do something there's not much that can be done for someone like that you know?
it's shit to say i suppose, idk how you feel about her but i'm sure regardless it isn't the best thing to hear about a situation like that... but really there isn't anything you or your mom can do other than suffer through her issues which isn't fair to either of you, but especially not you... cuz whereas your mom is her mother... you being her sibling shouldn't come with you sacrificing your life for her
if you don't mind my asking where's your dad in all this?
even if you didn't leave for good maybe there's ways that you could maybe get some time out of there at least that would help... like even just a week away here and there you know? are you working or in school?
what made you try to kill yourself? not trying to pry, i just imagine you haven't found many people willing to listen to what you have to say, and well... i have plenty of time and don't mind, you clearly need it... and i don't really care that you've got flaws and whatnot, as in i'm not gonna hold it against you, i'm fucked up myself so... we're even as far as i'm concerned
Does /ftmg/ believe not non-binary gender identities are real and valid? why or why not?
>be born female
>have on and off bouts of dysphoria
>non-binary seems to be the correct descripion of me
>not sure if its even real because of tumblrinas ripping rational discussions to shreds
Dad died when I was 17. My sister had just newly moved out and discovered that she's not a miraculous wonderchild progidy in college as she was in high school, and she also didn't make any friends. That's when she decided to give up on life and hasn't attempted to do a single thing ever since.
That was also about that time when I was first turned down for a trans diagnosis. I had tried to seek into treatment when I was 14, and they had toyed with me and wasted my time for the past three years before deciding I "didn't want it bad enough". Being exhausted as fuck, I decided that okay, maybe these educated professionals know the insides of my head better than I do, and maybe this had all been Just A Phase.
Two years later, I was two years into this Trying Really Really Really Hard To Be A Pretty Girl. I had managed to swallow this gross red pill idea that women are perishable goods and that at the age of 19, I should really desperately been looking for a husband. I mean, there had to be a REASON why being a woman feels horrible, and since I was Not Trans, that must simply mean that EVERYONE hates being a woman. That maybe it's just an awful thing to happen to someone, like being born with no arms. That maybe everyone else was just stronger than me and handled their handicap better.
Then I got rejected from both colleges I tried to apply for. And that's when I decided I am Done.
things turned out alright in the end, though, I did accidentally get into this pointless art school where I had time to come to my senses about the whole redpill thing (and dumped the future-husband-father-of-my-children who is still heartbroken about it) and the trans issue.
I just graduated from the school last christmas and I've been NEETing back at mom's ever since, trying to get into a real school and desperately looking for a job meanwhile.
Also, cleaning up this place. It's a hoarder house pig sty.
i don't see why it wouldn't be possible, i mean... if something can go totally wrong, why couldn't it vary in severity? that + i trust other people to know themselves better than i ever could and if someone feels like something in between who am i to tell them they don't?
though... i do sometimes wonder if some of it is just trans people who'd rather be nothing or something in between rather than trying for all the way and not being able to achieve it cuz of the current limitations of treatment... like if transition results were 100% would as many people feel somewhere in between?
Because I am an idiot? idk that's usually the answer. Gets me in trouble a lot.
I just don't understand nonbinary. You can be an extremely feminine male or extremely masculine female, both appear in both cis and trans people, and if you have dysphoria, you are trans. period.
Dysphoria, like many mental illness symptoms, can manifest in varying severity, in varying types, for variable time periods, can change in severity, can change in type, can go away entirely, can come on at any point in life, etc.
Being pregnant is generally, barring misadventure, sperm goes into egg, baby develops, baby pops out nine months later.
Those two things aren't even slightly similar. Or related in any way. Except that you might have dysphoria ABOUT being pregnant? Or in mtf case, not being able to be pregnant?
I think so. Not the whole demiboy, bunself pronoun bullshit, but I can see the usefulness of having somethings that's inbetween cis and mtf/ftm. Especially for people who are questioning.
I've always had chest dysphoria, but my junk issues used to fluctuate a lot more and I hadn't heard about social dysphoria being an actual thing until I went looking for more information. In hindsight, it's pretty damn clear where I fit ow but I think an inbetween label might have made it easier to get to.
that's rough... for all of you i imagine, losing your dad and then that
i actually feel bad for your sister being treated like you're special and then failing comes with a lot of pressure... i was in like gifted programs and shit as a kid and i never took that shit seriously, my parents did though... they'd like beat the shit out of me if i didn't want to go to school, but i had a hard time paying attention, and i could learn the work easier if i was just handed it, given basic instructions and then left on my own... except math... for whatever reason i can't do most shit without someone asking me to explain the question to them... made homework, classwork, and tests all hard... but anyway my point is... when you're in like honours classes and shit you meet a lot of people who take that shit seriously, and like get crushed when they finally fail... i could see how that'd fuck your sister up, especially if she'd gotten used to being treated special...
people are fucking retarded over shit like that... everything is a big deal and you get treated like you're different, but you're not... personally i think the whole thing is sorta awkward, but yeah for some people that's like... fucking everything...
not gonna lie i've seen that fuck people i knew up...
but that's still not very fair to you, losing your dad and then having to deal with both your mother and your sister in that state... that's fucked up especially dealing with that shit
i think a lot of the time people weren't quick to diagnose kids and when you went it was probably even harder cuz even less... you're 21 now or some shit like that right? i can't entirely remember, but that's close to a decade since you tried to get diagnosed...
that's unfortunate, that you were denied a diagnosis and kinda pushed into thinking there was something else wrong from a young age... at least that's what it sounds like to me, idk...
Damn, that's weird. At age 19, I was already with my ex-future-husband, but I had the same idea of women being "perishable goods" and was attempting to brainwash myself into being a "good [future] wife" by reading and watching all of this red pill/manosphere shit. I hated myself so much that I actively tried to make that hatred increase by filling my mind with the words of angry men who went on and on about what vapid, sociopathic, materialistic whores "all women" are. I tried to sandblast off my personality by exposing myself to all of the cruelty I could find on the internet. I don't know what the fuck I was doing. Thankfully I got out of that phase and moved on with my life. I was fucking miserable.
I'm glad things turned out okay for you.
i could see why that'd fuck with you being able to trust your own judgment, and that's shit that you were conditioned for so long to not trust your own judgment... i really hope you can find ways to get over that, and learn to trust yourself more, seriously...
and something good came out of art school at least, better to figure that out sooner rather than later right?
and you know... at least there's shit you can still want even though you're depressed... it's probably gonna take a while 'til you heal enough to start feeling better, but if you do the shit you're talking about you can eventually
hope that made sense i smoked 2 blunts just before...
It's ok really. I never really mourned or even missed dad. He had already moved out some years ago, and to be perfectly honest his death was a relief. I just didn't have an alcoholic dad anymore.
I'm turning 22 next month. I've wasted eight years of my life to this nonsense.
I'm sorry what happened to you but I appreciate your support.
cuz even less was known* about trans shit i mean... my bad, distracted by shit, but anyway...
for what it's worth i don't think you seem shitty... just seems like you've been through a lot, and are still going through a lot
but that's whatever it doesn't make you a shit person
>forgot sports bra in my room
>just put on shirt to get to room and back
>incredibly stressful 6-second dash
>get back to bathroom and pull off shirt like it was made of fire
Eurgh. Makes my skin crawl. Does anyone else have a real hard time wearing shirts without a binder or sports bra buffer garment?
fair enough, i'm pretty sure i'd be indifferent about my dad dying, though i'd feel bad for my mom and brothers and whatnot cuz i know it'll affect them differently... and probably harder
oh lol i don't really have a whole lot of emotional attachment to that shit anymore, i did for a while, but life happens and dwelling doesn't do much good you know?
what day's your bday?
and glad you appreciate it, if you ever need to talk feel free, i'll likely be around anyway
i never meant it like... heal completely, just enough for you to trust yourself more... you'll likely always deal with some of that shit, but part of learning to cope is learning to trust yourself... i hope you get to a better place is all... just cuz shit heals doesn't mean it goes away completely?
it's ok, it's ok.
the 18th. I'm still kind of disappointed that my birthday is barely a week after valentine's day and people never get me a hoard of discount valentine's chocolates. I guess I gotta get them myself.
Yep. I know I'm "not supposed to," but I wear a binder or an extreme compression sports bra 24/7 (except when I'm showering). I absolutely can't stand the feeling of my breasts when they aren't smushed down, and they aren't even big. Thank god I'm getting top surgery this summer.
well yeah it's ok... lol sorry i think you must be giving me more emotion than i have... i'm just high and rambling pretty much... but you sound pretty miserable most of the time figured you could use someone being decent towards you...
my little bro is telling my s/o and i that you have to slap yourself in the face and scream "you're number one" over and over again every day cuz he's playing halo lol... and my s/o is making dinner (spaghetti squash and idk what yet, but i love his cooking... prefer it to restaurants), and i'm high so i'm in a good mood
i get plants as gifts often... live ones though, everyone knows i think cut ones are sad lol
you like chocolate that much? i think it's alright, but i prefer flavours like lemon, ginger, and mint... and like rose... rose + apricot is actually great for desserts... especially with almond as well... rose petals make good tea as well...
Does anyone else have massive insecurity issues? Like I pass, but I feel like I don't deserve to be a man. And sometimes my bottom dysphoria attacks and I feel nauseous and sick.
lol fair enough... the only thing i appreciate having a lot of is shit to get wasted on, other than that i'm not into getting a lot of shit
i like one meaningful thing, and price is irrelevant... shit i appreciate handmade stuff, i just like when thought is put into a gift
everyone has their insecurities... i'm insecure about plenty, though i try not to dwell on it cuz it's not really worthwhile to give it too much thought...
i figure i'm not 100% terrible in any way so eh... good enough
I've been waitlisted for T and I really need a job, but I have no idea what to wear for an semi-formal interview. Should I wear a (men or womens) button down, mens slim fit jeans, black vans? Should I get more formal shoes? Should I wear a color other than black? A blazer/suit jacket?
>weak spindly noodle arms
>2 feet shorter than anyone else there
>can't bind in the gym
>progress is way the fuck slower than it "should" be for a dude your age in terms of numbers
>changes to your body, if any, are basically invisible
>try to diet during and take progress photos
>female body is horrifying, hate looking at it
>while the overweightness is less the curves and femaleness don't get any lesser
>[dysphoria reaches new levels of asspain]
>drop it all, go back to pretending body doesn't exist
is there a way out of this cycle besides taking T or am I fucked here
Different anon - I actually carved "subhuman" into my leg in a fit of intense self-hatred and now I have a large, dark, horribly embarrassing scar that just reinforces how I feel about myself. It was one of the dumber things I've done in my life, but yeah, subhuman is exactly how I feel. If I ever get some self-esteem, I'd like to tattoo over the scar, since it isn't raised, but I hate spending money on myself. I'm starting to transition at age 27 because I didn't think I was "worthy" of transitioning, for fuck's sake.
I'm also convinced that people are being nice to me or acting like they enjoy my company out of pity. I wish they'd just be honest and upfront with me instead of pretending to like me.
I looked up their careers page, they actually talk about interview attire.
>While we don't take ourselves too seriously, we take our business seriously. With that said, feel free to leave the tuxedo at home, along with the sandals. Comfortable business casual attire should be just fine.
Business casual is vague, but in general that's a button down + (optional sweater) + chinos + formal shoes for men. If you're living in a gay friendly area I'd say button down + khakis/chinos + formal shoes. The black slim jeans and vans are a little too far on the informal side for strictly business casual. A blazer/suit jacket would be a little too far formal. If you don't have any of those clothes you can try making a thrift store run, then fall back on the jeans and vans if you need to. They're not that far off the mark and odds are your interviewer won't really care.
If the area's not gay friendly, and you can handle it, wear a woman's blouse + the men's slim black jeans + ballet flats. I wouldn't recommend that though, it sucks.
it pisses me off so much when i see an article, book, documentary, etc, about trans men and 100% of the guys featured are straight.
i've had so many conversations with people who thought that trans men are just "super lesbians," or thought that because i transitioned i suddenly was no longer interested in men, or straight-up had no idea that it was possible to be a gay trans man.
so fucking frustrating. trans guys already have a visibility problem... i feel like gay trans guys have it even worse in terms of invisibility.
I know people who can't even fathom the fact that I'm bisexual. I really can't understand how difficult of a concept it is to grasp, but I guess I realize many people grew up thinking or were taught that sexuality and gender are the same thing.
It's bizarre how new concepts seem to generally go over most people's heads.
On my first visit to my endo today, i was prescribed 100mg spiro twice a day and Levlen ED which contains levonorgestrel 150ug and ethinyloestradiol 30ug , its a birth control pill.
Does this sound right, or is my endo trying to kill me?
I feel like I am still a girl, and still want to be a guy. I don't know how you guys end up actually identifying as such, is that a precondition of being trans. I have tried dressing up as a guy, with a binder and everything, I have cut my hair short, but I can't get past the idea that I'm somehow trying to fool people including myself when I do so.
I'm worried that I don't know if I'm trans and will never will.
I think if you were FTM that would make you become really emotional, and unstable, I remember a guy complaining about that before, saying they took it because it would stop his periods, but it made him feel really bad. So I would imagine it would be bad. Just get testosterone.
I was already like "dude wait stop that's estrogen"
Speaking of hormones btw, anyone notice a change in sexual preferences, kink/fetish-wise? Do I still have hope I could be at least bisexual, or at the very least start getting interested in normal sex instead of weird gross fetishes?
Today I had to explain my 5-year-old nephew what testosterone was. He seemed so happy and relieved to hear that it would come out of his balls and that he'd grow up to be just as big and strong as all the other men.
The poor lad had feared he'd turn out being like me.
should've told him otherwise, i love scaring kids
I feel like bisexuals in general have it bad too when it comes to representation like the amount of people who can't fathom I like both dicks and pussies is unfathomable
But yeah I do have a problem with the "super lesbian" stereotype, considering a bunch of lesbos suddenly took interest in me even knowing I was a trans guy because they only see me as a megabutch
Every day I'm feeling more and more accepting of being trans, but I'm also getting even more impatient with starting my transition.
I have a problem about that; I know little to nothing about how to sort out medical stuff, but I want to take care of as much as possible myself without bothering my dad about it.
How do I go about starting HRT? Do I just walk up into a local normal clinic and ask about it and see what they know?
The only known informed consent clinic closest to me is 2 hours away, and I can't drive so I'd have to take a bus to and from. I really don't want to deal with a therapist and waste money on stuff I already know. My family is tight on money as it is.
On another note, are there US stores that have anything that works as a good binder for C-sized breasts? Preferably from Walmart because that's the closest store within walking distance. I know it's best to just order one online, but that's another thing I'm limited with.
you know... past a certain point pity gets old and if people didn't like you as a person they probably wouldn't stick around... i get the insecurity, cuz i feel that way often, but when i'm just logical about shit i can separate my insecurities from other people...
it's still like... a knee jerk reaction for me, no matter how many people like me i still feel like no one should... and no matter how many people tell me they're attracted to me physically it still seems like a lie... and it's hard for me to take shit like someone wanting to date me or finding me attractive etc seriously, but like... logically i know most people aren't exactly gushing empathy to that extent and have no real reason to say shit they don't mean...
i've learned to accept that shit is subjective and other people aren't gonna necessarily see what i see when it comes to me, so i just accept their perspective...
sounds like you're at a point where your insecurities are still clouding that for you
you should really get a tattoo over the scar, not having to look at shit like that can really help your state of mind... i know that shit pretty well...
people seem more accepting of it when it comes with being a straight transguy, and i think part of it is honestly just cuz people are more accepting of straight guys than they are bi and gay ones...
like my mom was fine with me being bi before i came out to her as trans, but it took her a bit longer to get used to the idea that i was trans and bi at the same time... like she accepted the trans thing and then when it was like "i'm still bi that hasn't changed" there was a second where i could tell that was weird for her... she's gotten over it, and it's become whatever now but i think a lot of people have that "if you're gonna be a man you should be a straight man" mentality...
i've also noticed a lot of people see butch lesbians as guys for the most part, so that's easier to swallow on that level too
Dieting + lifting is always a bad idea. Unless you mean a high-protein/carbs diet so you can more easily build muscle. All it does is mean the lifting goes to waste, and dieting to lose weight is hit and miss unless you really know what you're doing.
T makes it a lot easier to build muscle. Building muscle itself is not just a matter of going to the gym, and a lot of shit people say about it is downright wrong or actually makes it harder.
Possible but vastly harder.
Giving someone who is new to working out advice like 'lol just don't eat and still get muscles, hurr' is exactly the kind of 'shit people say that makes it harder for people new to working out to succeed' I was talking about.
Also, fucking sage, read the OP.
just cuz people who have eating disorders and addiction issues etc have trouble sticking to a diet doesn't mean that diets are the thing that's flawed... if those people could teach themselves (or be taught) to eat healthy or mostly healthy every day in a way that works for them, then they're going to lose weight and keep it off...
when someone overweight goes on a diet they lose weight, it does work... and for someone obese eating healthy and not over eating is a fucking diet...
that's just how shit fucking works, it's not hit or miss that a diet will work... it's hit or miss that they'll find the right way to eat for them, and be able to stick to it due to years of bad habits...
>Possible but vastly harder.
lets see your stats lmao
this guy doesn't sound interested in becoming a bodybuilder, he wants a male looking physique. The beginner gains you make are more than enough to achieve that, as long as you're getting enough protein
>I really don't want to deal with a therapist and waste money on stuff I already know. My family is tight on money as it is.
>Therapist. Find one.
Well thanks m8
I guess have no choice then. I wish I came out sooner because I'd have better access to this shit (progressive school). But whatever.
So I need to get a job, then funnel my income into someone's pocket to listen to me and hope I won't get denied for not acting “masculine enough” or some other BS. Fun.
Might get a good one who won't do that, but knowing my luck...
>eating disorders and addictions are the only reason people don't follow diets
Most diets are shit and don't cover nutritional needs, or are ultra-specific and not easy for people to follow. Consistent dieting results are best achieved with a balanced diet that wherever possible is easy for an individual to follow - so says every single piece of scientific literature on the topic. Meanwhile the internet is covered in shitty diets saying completely opposite things to that. If a diet is hard to follow, people are not going to follow it. This is factual, both in terms of common sense and actual results. Ask literally ANY dietitian or nutritionist.
If you're working out, your body actually has more energy needs, so most internet diets are going to both inhibit your ability to build muscle, make attempting to build that muscle harder and more exhausting, and be harder to follow because you'll be hungrier.
Feel free to point out where i'm talking about detox diets or whatever, you queer.
Most methods of eating a caloric deficit that you read about on the internet, aka diets, aka 'weight loss diets', are shit. Most methods of calorie-counting are shit, and people spend their calories in bad places instead of eating things that fill them up - give them basic nutrients everyone needs - taste at least half decent - and don't give them too many calories. Because the diets don't explain how to eat to lose weight properly.
Most of them even advise lowering your calories to unsustainable levels for daily activity, instead of a more reasonable amount. It's a crapshoot.
And trying to do workouts for the first time under a calorie restriction is a recipe for failure.
you skipped the part where i said for someone overweight doing something like eating healthy and not over eating is considered a diet... i'm not talking about someone doing shit wrong (which is also a bit their fault) which is why i said the part about needing to teach themselves and/or be taught how to eat properly
i didn't say that for some of them a nutritionist or a dietician is unnecessary, but you know the whole purpose a someone overweight consulting one would be to go on a proper diet right?
if someone does that and fails it's due to the issues i mentioned + other possible mental issues and such... if it isn't ignorance then it's a lack of willpower and both are fixable
diets do fucking work though
and even nonsustainable ones work short term
pretending diet isn't a huge part of weight loss is just straight up wrong
a lot of the people i've known have thought like that... i've heard plenty of people say that "that's not a woman that's a dyke" or "she's a guy" etc about butch lesbians... we must know different people...
where did i say that? are you even reading anything i said? i've said eating healthy and not over eating are important in each post i've made on the subject, and said that proper eating needed to be learned...
+ but willpower and actually fucking continuing to do something obviously matter too... and when people gain the weight back it's a will power issue
for an over weight person eating healthy and a proper amount of food is a diet, they're not fat cuz they eat well and enough to sustain a proper weight...
By "diet" I meant "caloric deficit with 0.75g of protein per lb of bodyweight + a multivitamin every day in case I'm fucking up my nutritional needs somehow" but yeah, I've heard that it's super hard to make any kind of progress while you're on a cut even with n00b gainz. Idk, maybe I'll just stick to the deficit for awhile and start lifting again a few months from now when I'm in normal/underweight ranges. I'm currently already typical amerifat overweight, I don't want to go on a bulk and end up actually obese.
I've also heard butch lesbians referred to as men/functionally a third gender. When I was in high school and presenting as a butch lesbian I was routinely referred to as "a dude though, really" and "not an actual girl" whenever gender came up, especially whenever the class was divided by sex. It definitely wasn't full male status, a lot of people would say it to try and mock me, but I wasn't treated like I was a woman either. I can't even count the amount of times when somebody told me "yeah nah I don't think of you as a girl though, you're basically a dude" completely unprompted.
>several years on T
>full beard, dank haircut, masc as fuck
>look in mirror
>see girl :(
when is this bullshit going to end honestly
lol you realize willpower affects lifestyle right? people who are overweight have trouble maintaining weightloss cuz they have trouble maintaining the will power to continue to lead a healthy life style...
a) you don't bother to format your posts or type intelligibly, so they can be read to say pretty much anything (ellipsis)
>if it isn't ignorance then it's a lack of willpower and both are fixable
Not really sure why i'm bothering to reply, but you're just wrong. Willpower is generally a fixed constant - saying people should 'change it' only expresses a deep well of ignorance on your part. Structuring things to be doable with existing willpower is how people live non-shit lives. Pretending that people should have infinite ability to ignore the demands of their body/mind is the actions of someone implying they have done so - it's bragging, not advice.
Looking like a dude helps you overcome that shit - it doesn't overcome it automatically. Don't just expect it to go away on it's own, because while it might, odds are it won't. It's just changeable where while you actually look like girl/live like girl, it isn't changeable.
it's not bragging, and will power is something that can be learned... i'm not suggesting anyone is going to suddenly be perfect at shit overnight, but can we not pretend that willpower isn't part of the issue?
acting like people just have no control over themselves and can't ever improve is pretty ridiculous...
i never even said someone would necessarily be successful right away, but in order to be successful people have to keep trying, and that does require willpower
giving up and not trying anything new or not pushing forward shows a lack of willpower... that's just how shit works
there's literally nothing to get so pissy about... all i said was it's wrong (cuz it is) to say diets don't work, cuz proper diets are a huge part of what's necessary for someone to lose weight... the other part is willpower to make changes and stick to them...
you're really touchy... are you angry guy who also thinks dysphoria isn't what makes someone trans? or are you overweight and have been unssuccessful in your attempts at weight loss?
No, relying on "willpower" alone is why people can't effect any change in their lives. People's behaviors are fixed; their environments are mutable. The idea of achieving your goals through sheer willpower is the stuff of stories and actual geniuses. To be successful, you put yourself in situations that allow you to be successful.
behaviours can be changed, what do you think part of the purpose of cognitive behavioural therapy is? part of it is willpower, willpower to make changes and stick to diets... when something doesn't work for someone it isn't always the thing that's at fault... sometimes it's the person, and sometimes it's a willpower issue
blaming everything but yourself when you come up short is an easy way to never improve
you seem to think i'm saying will power ='s perfection or like if someone thinks something hard enough it's gonna happen, but i'm talking about determination and learning self control... neither of which is unachievable, people can learn it...
people who are overweight don't just get that way through no fault of their own, and it takes willpower to alter behaviours, and make changes and to stick to them...
You failed to read the post. A lot of diets being /shit diets that don't work well/ doesn't mean changing your diet can't lead to weight loss (or make it easier to gain muscle).
I'm going to stop replying to you now, because your posts are awful to read (i'm not a grammar nazi, but readability is a thing, and you have none of it), but your advice is awful and leads to failure. I've changed my weight with ease, and built muscle with ease, because I talked to dietitians and personal trainers and got shit put together that was both doable and highly effective. Most 'internet diets' are effectively the opposite of what these highly successful, tertiary-educated people told me was the correct thing to do.
The shit you're saying is just misinformation, and when challenged on it, you resort to ad-hominem. Stuff like 'a diet is fine even if it only works for a short time' is awful shit to say to anyone. People losing a tiny bit of weight (and all their resolve) and then immediately putting it back on is fine? Seriously? If you don't know shit about something, don't just make up whatever and hope for the best. You're not just doing yourself a disservice - you're actively hindering other people's attempts to get their bodies into shape.
what are you even going on about? i said even a shit diet will result in weight loss, i never said they were good ideas or fine...
what do you think "learn to eat properly" means exactly? i never said anything about internet diets, at all, that's all you... you're making shit up to argue about cuz you don't like the way i say shit...
i never gave any advice, i just said diets do work, that lifestyle change you made that you consulted people to do that came with you changing your eating habits... that was a fucking diet, you were dieting and exercising that's how you lost weight... cuz that's how weight loss is achieved
+ i do know how to not be overweight... cuz i'm not so you know... i must know something about it...
i said in the first some people need to be taught how to eat properly, you know who teaches people that? take a guess you went to see them...
Not me, for one, though people thought I was. 'Tomboy' growing up until I found out trans guys existed and that girls actually wanted to be girls and weren't just pretending, and that it wasn't normal to feel totally alien in your body. Also completely believed at puberty was when I'd get my dick and become a real boy...
for a bit
dated 3 girls in the course of a year, had some crazy sex and poly drama
it wasn't for me. they made me feel cheap in my body because i was pretending to be okay with the way my body was involved
now i'm trans and alone
i think this whole /lgbt/ board is toxic because it lets you know what everyone is thinking, all the mean horrible soul wrenching bullshit that will never impact you in real life.
i think i'm done, i'm going back to tumblr where the cognitive dissonence will cradle me through my transition.
You guys remember how I was at odds with my therapist?
She was meant to call me around midday today. My phone rang at 2:15 and I was already pissed off at that point so I didn't answer. Voicemail told me to call her back but I'm probably not going to.