Went to a recruiter today and i'm going to MEPS next thursday. Will the doc believe i got these from inthewoods bullshittery.
inb4 pussy faggot
Go ahead and kill yourself now, faggot.
Just a little deeper.
You can say you were beaten as a child and those are from switches.
Switches might be a southern thing i dont know what else to call them. When you missbehave and your parents/grandparents make you pull a small branch/twig off a tree to get swatted with. Thats what a switch is.
I had cat scratches on my arms too when I went to meps and had zero problems. Mine aren't as obvious though. Just don't act shady or spill your spaghetti trying to explain you did it in the woods if you get asked.
The real question is, why should we let someone who has a hard time not hurting themselves defend our country? If they don't accept you, consider yourself lucky, because you apparently can't handle when shit gets tough.
Yeah pretty much, make up some bullshit excuse for it but nobody should ask too many questions if you can do the physical okay
I have a giant scar around my left eye from when a brick was thrown at me as a kid and I told my recruiter it was a birthmark. By the grace of babby Jesus I still have 20/15 vision so the docs at meps didn't even ask me about it
Medical professional here. We can tell self harm marks.
These guys have it.
That said, if you are bound and fucking determined.. surface abrasions and bruising will make it hard to tell. Take a fall off a bike onto that shoulder.
When were you in? Because these days every fucking doc in the fleet has read a ton of literature on how to spot a cutter and what excuses they use, and that it's a giant fucking red flag.
Five years ago a lot of them thought cutting was something only little girls did, if they knew it was a thing at all.
He should get this on his arm.
When I went through (mid-2000s), they'd have just looked the other way. If they'd've asked, they'd've believed you. But we were in the middle of two wars back then so they didn't care.
The real question is, why should we let some little bitch in boys clothing make me sit through another fucking round of suicide prevention training after he gets drunk and offs himself upon realizing how pathetic he is?
For fucks sake I got in with astigmatism. Took a waiver but I scored pretty good on the ASVAB so they let me have it. This was in 2010 when we were still going to Iraq and Afghanistan. Three months after I went to boot camp I got on Recruiters Assistance and one of the dudes I talked to also had astigmatism. Scored only a bit below me on the ASVAB but he couldn't get a waiver for his astigmatism. The military is downsizing. Now is a bad time to join unless you are really desperate to say "oh, I'm in the military". Especially since the camaraderie I enjoyed will dissolve because everyone is pushing to rank up so they don't get kicked out. Wait for another war. I'll see you there.
However, if you are that desperate, this anon has decent advice. >>28627501
You do have to make sure it is in regulation though so the tattoo can't go down too far. The last three or four cuts (that I can see in your picture) will still be visible.
>tfw guy I used to work with in my shop had legit aspergers
>he just didn't tell anyone
>ended up a basic training honor graduate
God he was an obnoxious dick, but we all loved him.
The point is OP, you can get in with practically anything. You just need to know how to play the system.
On second thought, don't. You'll probably fuck up and get caught like a dumbass
Some shit you can lie about. For example, in addition to astigmatism, I have flat feet (sucks for boot since you can't buy insoles, doesn't matter when you're in the fleet because you can buy insoles). Not too bad, I was able to fake it for MEPS. However I can't fake the fact I have something like 300/20 vision. I need glasses.
I'll give you a real answer but you better be doing Infantry or a combat arms mos.
They won't believe you but if you hold to your story and no matter what keep to your story your good.
They will grill you at Meps and say they will find out if your lying and you will get charged with a crime/fine but it's all bullshit anon. They act like they're CSI Miami and have these crazy resources to figure out your entire life but in reality they don't have shit. Just don't buy into the bullshit and stick to your story NO MATTER WHAT.
Also better story would be you had a kinky girlfriend.
Pic Not related, mein Doggo
This. The only real way you can get fucked up is if you get a security clearance and something gets revealed to the investigator. That happened to a guy in my tech school, he lied about asthma, but his mom accidentally revealed it while talking to OSI. He ended up losing his job and I wanna say brought up on a court martial.
I don't even know how the hell he made through basic if he was as symptomatic as they said he was...
i had testicular cancer, which means i have a half sack. does this disqualify me from ever serving? am i never gonna even get drafted either?
If it honestly doesn't affect you now don't say a god damn word about it and stick to your story. They will never find out no matter what they say. They try to scare you at Meps but it's all a show to get people to come forward and it works for them occasionally.
Just throwing this out there, but you're probably fucked.
I have scars from my crazy ass abusive father and they disqualified me because they didn't believe me when I told them it wasn't self harm, despite several testimonies from family members AND having scored 95 on the ASVAB.
So good fucking luck.
i think a doc will notice one of my nuts being gone tho. plus the giant ass scar across my abdomen. definitely wouldn't be able to bullshit my way out of this.
so does this get me out of the selective service? like they would draft kids and women before they consider drafting me?
You can go to a plastic surgeon and have the scars removed.
That is about your only option, they are very obvious self harm. And honestly, the military might not be the right choice for you.
Thats what i did.
Didnt make it through basics though, tore my abdominal wall, leaked fluid into my nutsack. Shit was terrible, still a problem.
>thanks for the blog post
Just wanted to clarify it wasnt cause i bitched out.
Once upon a time in south Carolina...
Drill sergeants let us eat, and eat, and eat, nobody told us to get up. I was full as a damn dog tick.
>GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DEFAC YOU LOUSY PIECES OF FUCKING DOG SHIT WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU FUCKING MORONS OUT OUT OUT MOVEIT MOVEIT MOVEIT
i started timing on my wrist watch after i felt a good amount of time had passed, we were doing 8 count pushups, v ups, mountain climbers, run to pt track, run a couple miles, repeat.
I dont know for sure, but i think thats what did it.
Oh yeah the watch, it restarts after an hour, but it was at 27 min when i stoped it, so who knows how long. That was 4 years ago, but im pretty sure we did the whole process 3 times.
I met a guy in basic who was missing a kidney and yet another guy who had a sever spinal deformity and not only did they somehow get through MEPS but reception as well. The spine guy was a little gangster though. Like super tiny and made it all the way until the end of blue phase before he could no longer conceal his problems on one of the longer ruck marches.
I don't know how the fuck those guys got in but I learned a lot about trusting the government because of it.
>until the end of blue phase
Those bastards. He wasted 3 months of his life, plus the time the army took to file his seperation paperwork.
Unless his platoon kicked ass. Phases move with competency, you can go red phase for a couple months, the closer you get to graduation the more likely you are to be re-cycled.
What kind of spinal deformity? Scoliosis?
I got a pretty minor curve inherited from my mother and even though it barely affects my appearance and daily life I figured it destroyed my chances completely, and they would find out if I had surgery to correct it anyways
What are my odds though?
Damn straight. Good luck with everything bro
The navy doc at boot fucked me over. I don't have shit wrong with me, he was just having a bad day. The Marines wont take me back, but the Army said they'll take me no problem.
I have some seriously bad stretch marks on my mid back from when I hit my growth spurt. Is the MEPS doc going to give me a hard time for that?
It legitimately looks like a bobcat took two horizontal swipes at my back
I'm not sure to be honest. All I know is that that is started becoming a real issue near the end of the 10 mile ruck March and DS pulled him into the truck. It's a shame because this guy had all the heart and absolutely would not quit despite being in what was obviously some serious pain.
I would caution anyone with a potentially serious medical issue about enlisting. It's not so much that you won't be able to get in but instead that you will make it into basic and either get seriously injured and or simply suffer a minor injury but get stuck in TRADOC land as a result. The physical rehabilitation and training unit suck total ass 24/7 and even after you have healed you might still be forced to sit around for months waiting for a training slot to open up. That all depends on MOS though. If you end up getting kicked out that could also take between 3 months and a year. No joke. Paperwork at TRADOC takes forever right now.
OP SAY YOU WERE IN A SECRET GOVERNMENT FOXTROT FORCE, MORE TOP TIER THAN DELTA. EACH SCAR IS A CONFIRMED KILL OF HVT, THE ONE AT THE BOTTOM WAS BIN LADEN. THIS SHOULD DO THE TRICK AND FOOL THOSE NOSY DOCTORS
At least they still get paid.. but that paperwork time frame is completely fair.
You have nothing to do either, maybe detail work. I worked with an armory guy sorting pieces of gun i had no idea what were, high light of my day was counting to 250 for a reason.
I'm at the hotel for MEPS at breakfast right now actually. Get on the bus over at 0510.
Half these asshats are gonna be DQ'd from eating so much Aunt Jemima and orange juice. Wish me luc/k/ /k/omrades.
Thank you and Air Force. Putting in a good 25 years like my dad and granddad.
I appreciate your enthusiasm anon. Someone give this man responsibilities!
I hear ya mate. As I said none of the other people in this room seem to have read their GO about not loading their asses with sugar and sodium. Wonder how many of are gonna make it.
I wore nice boxers for today. I hope senpai notices me...
When you have your face-to-face sit down with the doctor, don't forget to mention your family's tradition of service. They eat that shit up and will give you favorable marks for that.
Also, when you ship out to basic, never pass up an opportunity to mention how your dad and granddad both retired after their long and proud service. You will automatically earn the admiration of your fellow recruits, and your MTIs will secretly respect you more after knowing this.
I have seen far worse but that was 2003-2011. I don't know how much has changed since then with the down sizing and tighter rules. They use to pretty much just ignore it though just to get people in during the prime of the wars. Plenty of my fellow soldiers had neck tattoos and hand tattoos back then. I know they changed that now so maybe it is different for stuff like what you have also. If it comes down to it just say you were young and dumb and are better now and don't have some psychotic drug history. (didn't read thread but if this was all said already, my apologies.)
Ignoring that a draft will probably never happen again, if it does, they won't care. If we go to war they won't care because they need the bodies. If we have a draft they really won't care because we really need the bodies.
Ah, USMC it can show outside of your PT clothes. If it does you have to be able to cover it with one hand. Dunno if they changed it since I got out though.
Weed waiver is the easiest to get. Medical waivers are a hell of a lot harder.
>DQ'ed so hard I didn't get to the point of taking the ASVAB
Man that was disappointing
Auto-anemic. Funny thing is that the last time I checked DoD regulations, with the condition I have I could get wavered if I had my spleen removed. So I would be okay to enlist after the major organ removal.
I wasn't really surprised it was an automatic disqualifier, but it was disappointing.
That shit would have shown on the first blood test, so no use lying about it either.
>Will the doc believe i got these from inthewoods bullshittery.
So get on a bike and fall in such a way that you get new scars that cover the old scars.
Ft. Sam Houston MEPS guy here. Splashdown. I'm beautiful, I'm approved, and after shoving this ham sandwich in my face I'm goimg to job picking.
Think I might try for Aerospace Physiology or aerial gunner, with plans to crosstrain to OSI.
The only ones who join the military are behavior cases anyways. Let's not pretend otherwise.
The only ones who join the workforce are behavior cases anyways.
As shitty as the military may be, those benefits are GOAT for the youngins like me who have no hope in hell of paying for their education
Just dont panic if they call bullshit. Stick to the story. Invent thw whole story before hand, keep it simple so you wont trip on your words.
>had a 250 when i was ten, helping my dad fix fence, got cocky and guned it, shirt caught the wire and grabbed me off the 250. Dad was pissed.
Uniballer, the reason male applicants with one testicle are screened out is because you physiologically only produce half the testosterone of a regular male. This in itself is disqualifying, but collateral reasons are that it prevents discrimination or hazing from fellow recruits during basic training, which is a very formative time for a new member into the Armed Forces.
>Source: MEPs doc
i was tested and i produce the same amount of Testosterone (don't need supplements)
besides this is my under standing >(Testosterone is produced by Leydig cells in your testicles. These cells produce testosterone in response to a hormone called luteinising hormone (LH). Testosterone inhibits the release of LH by the pituitary gland. Hence, when testosterone levels drop (e.g. when you lose a testicle), more LH is released by the pituitary gland, because there's less inhibition of LH release by testosterone. This means that when testosterone levels drop, LH levels rise. LH then causes the Leydig cells to produce more testosterone, so testosterone levels rise. As testosterone levels rise, they will start to inhibit LH release again. Testosterone levels will continue to rise until they reach a healthy level. They don't increase beyond this healthy level, because at this level, they suppress LH release quite significantly.) could be wrong tho
im not worried about the amount of T, more so about arbitrary rules the military has about it.
i guess civilian life is the life for me
Not that anon but I shot his SVD. It was awesome. I can't find a pic of me holding it though. Here's another guy who got to shoot it after me.
>step 1, get a handheld sander or belt sander. Eraser/rubber burns may also work
>step 2, apply active sander to upper arm till bloody mess is achieved
>repeat with slightly less vigor on the following body parts, on the same side as your scars.
>inside of elbow
>side of your hip
>optional:side of knee, torso/ribs
>say op, that looks like a nasty spill you took on your bike/motorcycle/skateboard
Again, you don't need to go crazy on the other parts without scars you hope to cover. Just make them look reddish. They will believe your story. Hide those scars, and it shouldn't be an issue.
I've never self harmed, though. You probably shouldn't be joining...
Also, because military work has risks of testicular injury. If you have 2 balls going into the military and lose one, you can still have kids. Have one and its gone, well call you Caitlyn...
Im heading to MEPS and had ADD meds post 14 yrs old but told them it didnt do anything to me
>Grandfather says lie like a blue gum nigger
>Dad says get medical waiver and dont risk felonious charges and ruin my life
I just finished my nasis background check and im gonna schedule for the adsvab soon
Tell him you got them wrestling a no-ropes barbed wire death match.
I dont take it anymore but i already told my recruiter that i had one perscription filled and i pnly took like 2 pills and stopped bc they were useless and he hasnt brought it up since? I get dont ask dont tell but what if theu ask me about it at my meps?
>college athlete with 3.8 GPA
>marine recruiter falling over himself
>burn him on runs over the summer
>doing some paper work
>asthma when I was 8
>watch as his eyes widen in horror
Can't even get called back from fucking national guard recruiters.
Well at least it's in a decent spot to cover up with an injury.
Just run your shoulder into a wall a few times and get it all nice and bruised up, say you fell and broke your fall with your shoulder if they ask.
This. Tell them that you were doing tribal scarification because you thought it was cooler than a tattoo. It sounds hipstery and dumb as fuck, and they will ride your ass asking you if it was sadness or self mutilation, and you keep on that bullshit train, and you look them in the eye like they are a fucking retard. "Bro, sorry i mean Sir, Its scarification. To me it was basically a tattoo, I thought it was going to look cool but it doesn't."
TL/DR: lie your ass off. dont stop the lie until you come out the other side, and then never stop. People see that shit in the shower at basic? Guess what? Keep it up. Getting ready to retire at your 20? STILL KEEP IT UP. hopefully by then you have that shit covered.
You made a best friend, or any friend in a dark moment in your career and you want to share this secret while you both bang each other's wives? ITS SCARIFICATION BRO!
yea. since its neighbor left, it has the whole sac to itself. its like 1.5 of a nut
in fact now that i think about it i was fucking my gf for a year before she asked me about it.
does the military care about HIPA?
who let you mentally ill faggots have guns? fuck the liberals were right
Jesus this. There's no place for kids who are going to most likely be at risk for harming themselves in the Marines (or what ever branch you're looking at) I swear if I have to go looking for some dumb kid who chased a bottle of sleeping pills with a few shots because gunny made him police call the smoke pit. Ugh.
Watching MRP march to the chow hall was the most depressing thing I've ever seen in my life. I saw our old guide who got dropped for breaking his hip crutching along when we got back to MCRD from the crucible. We dropped him like 2 days before we left, he looked absolutely devastated. Ending up in MRP was my biggest fear all through boot camp.
honestly just say you were abused when you were younger by a classmate. being dead serious he wont question it and you will get your opportunity to clean bathrooms for 4 years while wondering where you went so wrong in life.