Monster Girl Thread

kikis are olev.

>>14653637
I am contractually obligated too.

Otherwise my chuuni mis- 'daring and dashing mistress' gets all pouty and just works out all day to 'raise her power level' for love or something.

>>14653637
Lilims are shit

Kobold daughterus are the best daughterus.

>>14653637
I want to cuddle that Lilim all night long.

>>14653648
They're pretty nice but you have to give them so much attention

I'd rather let me daughter go rape the shota next door while I have fun with my wife

>>14653648
All canine daughterus are best daughterus. Just imagine a mob of werewolf or hellhound or kobold or kitsune puppies tripping all over themselves, yapping up a storm, so they can jump on you and nuzzle against you before they make you play with them until they burn themselves out like a pack of sparklers and curl up on the ground with their tails hugged to their chests for a nap.

>>14653637
Remove Mary Sues.

>>14653669
Cumflate Mary Sues!

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>>14653664
I can't help but think lewd things whenever someone talks about Hellhound daughterus. I blame Tai and Tia, damn it quicksilver.

>>14653567
>too big
The world needs more fat-bottomed meidos.

>>14653664
Imagine being the kid next door who goes over to say hello to your new neighbors only to get tackled by a bunch of hellpups.
That'd be cute as hell.

>>14653675
I want my kiki to wear a tiny french maid uniform that fails to cover her rear largely because her rear's too big for anything but specially bought yoga pants or custom skirts.

>>14653637
I want to enter a loving, stable,healthy, monogamous and long term relationship with Druella!

>>14653676
>"HEY!"
>"HI"
>"HEYA!"
>"HELLOOOOO~"
>"WHATSYERNAME?"
>"ARE YOU HERE TO PLAY?"
>"LET'S WRESTLE."
>"WHERE'S THE BALL? GET HIM TO THROW THE BALL."
>"YOU SMELL LIKE CANDY."
>"I WANT CANDY TOO."
>"YEAH LETS GO GET CANDY."
>"COME ON AND GET CANDY WITH US."

what place should I take a monstergirl for the perfect date?

I want to self insert as a OC donut steel lilim and live out my power fantasies in a porn setting!

>>14653680
Can you really maintain stability after decades of trying to get her pregnant without success?

Would you support her in her quests of corrupting entire countries?

Marrying a Lilim is hard work, that's why they prefer heroes

>>14653674
Yes, same here. It's all his fault.

>>14653689
And that's how anon became a harem anime protagonist. I wonder if there's a girl in the group that tries to be a delinquent but anon keeps bringing up that time when she was 10 and wore her moms clothes and makeup in a terrible effort to marry anon before her sisters.

>>14653662
>neglecting your daughteru because she's too much work
The worst kind of parent.

>>14653693
Nando's.
If youve got a girl that likes meat, then the answer is Nando's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF9j6kPLlQc

>>14653701
>Implying I wouldn't marry all of them.
I can't just go breaking the hearts of my childhood friends.
And yeah at least one of them would be a delinquent.
Her gang members would probably wonder why she's so nice to "that one human nerd" though.

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Beware the Hoof Pussy.

>>14653702
No she keeps talking about "anon-kun" non stop and has even started to stalk him a bit. I remember when her mother was like that with me, so I just pushed her in the right direction. I mean who knew that anon was home alone and defenseless? And he may or may not have access to manticore venom.
Maybe now we'll have some peace before the grandchildren show up.

>>14653718
Oh, that's ok then.

>>14653674
>>14653700
I blame Quicksilver for a lot of the loli stuff that gets discussed here.

>>14653710
I cant watch the video
what is nando's

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well... this is a problem

>>14653711
I never said you couldn't marry all of them.
>you'll never be subconsciously imprinted as pack husband by your hellhound next door childhood friends
>you'll never have to deal with them fighting each other throughout high school for your love
>you'll never take them all to prom together
>you'll never wake up the next morning in your bed surrounded by your hellhound childhood friends
>all of them having somewhat distended bellies because of you impregnating them
>all because that ducking manticore art teacher wanted to make prom "memorable" and spiked the punch with no less than a liter of her venom
>at least you weren't the only one who got married that night
>your best guy friend David scored with the Apophis principal and now has to come to school in a loincloth and feed the principal during lunch

>>14653736
>now has to come to school in a loincloth and feed the principal during lunch
aww jeez

>>14653736
David should at least wear something over it while travelling to and from school

>>14653743
That's against the rules.

>>14653743
>yfw he wears a jacket that says Grape Snakes Rule! on the back

>>14653637
I hate lilims.
i hate demons.
I hate the dark world.
I hate monster girls.
I hate this universe.
I hate these threads.
I hate myself.
I hate my life.
I'm fucking dying

>>14653746
Fuck that
punishment or no, im protecting my dignity
>>14653748
better then nothing

>>14653736
I'm pretty sure one night, no matter how crazy, is not enough to get a pack of Hellhounds pregnant.
So we'll just have to keep trying.
Imagine the cuddles though.

>>14653750
Do you like death?

>>14653746
>"Miss Principal, do I have to wear this from now on?"
>"Of course husb-David! We can't have that bitch Pharoah in History think that you're not taken!"
>"And please call me 'Goddess' from now on!"

>>14653680
You're not the only one.

>>14653734
Who drew that?

>>14653762
Someone with no talent.

>>14653750
Stop being edgy.

>>14653750
Can't help you there, friendo.

>>14653755
>imagine the cuddles
Stop it anon I'm hurting now because I'll never get to cuddle a pack of hellhound girls who've all decided to make me pack husband. It hurts more than it should.

>>14653716
Embrace the breast pussy.

>>14653764
be nice
the art is better then the original

>>14653773
But anon, it'd be so warm.
Just a big cuddlepile of Hellhounds nuzzling against you with big smiles on their faces.

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>>14653789
Ignore the Echidna profile art
Have Mersé instead

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>>14653796
when I said original I men that the art was based on this

but merse is indeed best bluesnake

>>14653796
Merse a shit, Echidnas are cool though.

>>14653779
I'd fuck all of her pussies.

>>14653808
now im in the mood for echidna stories
we got any outside of seafoams one?

>>14653796
>Eyepatch
>Blue skin
>That everything
Mersé hits so many of my fetishes and so does Koyoi. Druella did nothing wrong as far as my dick's concerned.

>>14653795
They should be called heavenhounds instead, because that, like everything else about them, sounds utterly divine.

>>14653825
Eye-patches are so underrated
They make girls badass and sexy

>>14653831
>Eye patches are underrated.
This is true.
Why can't I have a Chunni elf who wears an eye patch because she says it makes her a better archer?

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>>14653831
Indeed. The "seal" is part of why I love Ushis so much.

I'd like to see a Minotaur with an eyepatch, light scaring on her body and great abs. That's my kind of girl right there.

>>14653846
I want a CC operator Jinko who is scarred all over and wears an eye patch to be my maid/waifu!

Where's kit with chapter 3 already?
He's not going to fuck off to do whatever it is he does and not post it for 2 months like he did last time right?

>>14653844
>Vampire aifu wears an eye patch because of an injury from childhood
>Dhampir daughteru declares that she wants to "be like mommy" but that she'll be "even better"
>Puts eye patches over both of her eyes
>Walks around bumping into things for 20 minutes while refusing to take off the eye patches
>"No I can do it! Just watch!"

>>14653846
>>14653850
My brothers.

Eye patches, muscle, and chocolate all go together so very well.

I want a tan skinned, muscled medusa with red scales to be my bodyguard and bride!

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>>14653850
A Jinko works nicely too, I have a huge weakness for girls who look like they've done their fair share of fighting.

On that note, what kind of girl would Cammy be if she was corrupted? I was thinking maybe a muscle Hinezumi.

>>14653867
Generic lizardman.

Angel/valkryie if you want to make it so that M. Bison possessing her is the dark version.

>>14653858
She's got time to practice.
Gaining that extra sense will be real handy later.

>>14653850
Wasn't there a greentext about this in a past thread? I remember something like this.

>>14653882
>daughteru puts eye patches on both eyes
>vampire waifu instantly takes you to the bedroom to make another daughteru

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>>14653955
There was, but I forgot to cap it.

>>14653964
Why though, this one isn't defective or anything of the sort.

>>14653965
>your Jinko maid/waifu will never sing you songs from the old country to lull you to sleep after a night of passionate baby making sex

>>14653964
>Leaving a child unsupervised like that

>>14653972
Depressing.

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>you and your Lich waifu will never create magical DE-based "parasites" that can both enhance and give alternate evolutions to Zombie girls

>>14654002
You should learn how to hold a tune.

>>14654025
But I can't sing.

>>14653796
>Mother of monsters
How could I have forgotten about you, Echidna?
Also Merse is a lot better looking when not scrunched up in a thumbnail, wow.

>>14654037
Practice at noise then, it can still be musical.

>>14653756
Is she cute?

>>14654052
Of course she is! Just one touch from her and you'll be as stiff as a board!

Since Lilims are strictly the daughters of the Demon Lord and nothing else

What species are a Lilim's offspring? Arch-Succubus? Pseudo-Lilim? Lesser-Lilim?

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>>14654072
Probably Arch-Succubi.

>>14654072

I would imagine just more Lilim.

Now the real question is; what does a Titania give birth to?

>>14653965
I'm seriously going to need this to keep me warm tonight.
>tfw no Jinko maid to keep you warm doing winter storms

>>14654072
Lilims are just succubutts that happen to be the demon lord's daughter right, has KC ever mentioned if they can be different types of succubus such as Vampires?

>>14654087
Arch-alps are a thing apparently

>>14654023
>MG Alexia
>Stll related to Alford

Noooooooope
I'm not dicking anything related to that fruit

>>14654100
well the queen of hearts is supposed to be an Alice-type, so...

>>14654100
>all MGs are just Succubi variants of their respective monster counterparts

>>14654054
Could she love me?

>>14654100
There is a heirarchy of sorts. Lilims in general are stronger than succubi, and I would asume that the named Lilims like Deruella and the Queen of Hearts are stronger since they've managed to terraform regions.

I want a succubus to laugh at my tiny penis!
I want to feel generally nonplussed about it because they're the most boring monstergirl anyway!

>>14654132
>Succubi laughing a tiny penises
I wouldn't be surprised if they had some sort of enhancement spell to give you a size they prefer.

Are there any other oldfags here who feel the thread has changed a lot over the years? For instance, we never seemed to have this many people interested in having kids and such.

>>14654142
Define oldfag.

>>14654114
Oh yeah I forgot about her for some reason. That means there's probably others that are different variants.

I wonder how the thread would react if it was revealed there was an Amazon Lilim.
>>14654128
Yeah, the first nine are supposed to be important, I wish KC would name more of them.

>>14654103
Alfred just had a complex not unlike Liquid Snakes, he just took it in an odd direction though.

>>14654100
>Lilim Vampire
>She ditches the black and red theme and wears all white with black lingerie
>Pale skin
>White hair
>White wings
>Deep crimson eyes
She is my ivory goddess.

>>14654141
Pray he never finds one with a size fetish

>>14654150
Yeah but I would want to wake in her bed only to find that he'd slunk in at some point during the night

>>14654155
*Wouldn't
There's a subtle difference there

>>14654142
Been lurking in /a/ monster girl threads long before EMG was a thing and these were generals.
We have changed a lot over the years, our worst era was easily when everyone worshipped namefags like TF and Hound if you don't include the whole posting standards drama. I'd say the threads are more enjoyable these days.

>>14654072
The daughters of the Demon Lord are Arch-succubi. KC has said the title lilim just means "created by the demon lord directly". So this applies to her daughters (who are all vanilla succubi) as well as those monsters she has turned with her own hand (who can be about any whim of hers)

Do I think this is stupid when he himself put out a Lilim profile? Sure.

But then
>KC
>Consistency

>Be out inna snowy mountains when a Blizzard hits
>Is saved by a Wendigo, Yeti, and Yuki
>Have the greatest two nights of your life
>Step outside for a moment
>Suddenly get jumped by a giant Saint Bernard Dog Girl. She begins to take you down the mountain saying 'I DID IT! I SAVE HIM!' over and over
>She takes you back to the rescue building thinking she saved you.
>You scream about wanting to go back.
>St Bernard Dog girl thinks you're delirious from the cold and keeps you in her grip and refuses to let go.
>A week later she takes you home and the mountain is deemed dangerous and no one can go on it anymore ever.
How do you react?

>>14654142
This >>14654142

>>14654146
>I wish KC would name more of them.
There's a ton of high-tier characters that he hasn't given us any details on. Hopefully with MGE 2 coming out this summer we'll get to see a bit of them.

>>14654142
What's wrong with wanting to start a family with the MG you love?

>>14654169
I humor her.

>>14654169
This story is shit

>>14654171
Fuck, whoops. >>14654161

>>14654181
There is the many, many different Gods from all types of mythology
The mysterious Demon of Chaos (Lovecraft inspired)
The Lilims, including the adopted daughter he talked about in the Q&As

Anything else?

>>14654161
>our worst era was easily when everyone worshipped namefags
Thank god we've moved on, that was truly a terrible era.

>>14654161
>our worst era was easily when everyone worshipped namefags like TF and Hound

They were alright folks, but it's people like that who caused EMG to split from here during the exodus by keeping one foot in /a/. Now we don't even get all the monstergirl news here.

>>14654161
>I'd say the threads are more enjoyable these days.
Eh, I disagree. It's better that we don't discuss namefags as often anymore, but the thread is now obsessed with cutesey shit most of the time. Doing the opposite and having a dark and brutal atmosphere is just as bad of course, I just wish we had a good balance of the two.

>>14654169
Run back up the mountain with a free hugs sign and hand knit scarves for each of them

Give me the comfiest stories you've got, greentext or full stories, I just want to sit at home and read while drinking hot chocolate. Without my MG waifu. ;_;

>>14654181
Well there's the deity book he said he'd release some day which should have details and art for a lot of the gods.

Then there's Lilims, leaders of the order, rulers of regions such as Zipangu and others. KC get your shit together already.

>>14654221
THIS IS THE ERA OF THE ALP
REPENT SO THOU MAY BE SAVED FROM THE KYAAS

>>14654169
Take the St. Bernard girl up there and show her that there's nothing to fear on that mountain!

>>14654153
Oh my
>Date a succubus
>Your dick is average, if unremarkable
>She has fantasies about being filled up by a cock
>She wants to see her stomach bulge as you fuck her
>One night she decides to indulge herself
>Doesn't let you know that, though
>As you insert into her, she zaps you with a spell
>You can feel your dick swelling to unholy proportions
>Almost pass out from all the blood rushing to it
>Collapse back onto the bed
>She takes that as her cue to ride you
>You are barely conscious all night as she rides you raw
>The spell also invigorates your balls
>Your loads are huge, pumping semen for a good minute each time you cum
>Her already distended stomach looks like she's pregnant by the time she's had her fill
>Wake up in the morning, Sore all over and with a throbbing headache
>She's curled up next to you, still bloated with cum
>'Hehehe, that was fun. Thanks for indulging me, sweetie.'
>'We should do it again sometime, eh?~'
>This girl's trying to kill you

>>14654221
People still enjoy that sort of thing, except the handful of whiny sunshinefags. The problem is not much gets written.

>>14654234
You say that like its a bad thing. Let's get one thing straight; tenderly loving alps is not a bad thing.

>>14654244
This man is right. It is not a bad thing. It is a TERRIBLY UNSPEAKABLE THING!

>>14654244
>>14654253
The problem lies with Alpfags themselves.

>>14654169
Stay with the St. Bernard girl because she's obviously the best girl in this situation.

>>14654240
Dark=/=Good story.

>>14654228
http://pastebin.com/y84Drbnq
http://pastebin.com/UqabiTt0
http://pastebin.com/K2Tk5fnp
http://pastebin.com/G0R0njPU

>>14654240
But the problem is balance. We've always had sunshine and grimdark fags, but it feels like the sunshinefags now overran this place and it's all daughterus and cutesy stuff all the time. There's a time and a place for it but having it constantly is annoying and makes me feel like I'm going to get diabetes from it all.

>>14654260
First of all, the correct notation is != for "does not equal". Second of all Dark != Bad story

>>14654260
True, but sunshine stuff doesn't mean a good story either. In fact it means it less because saccharine things are less likely to try anything remotely confrontational or interesting.

>>14654240
>whiny sunshinefags
Only tryhards use this phrase. No one's going to complain if someone writes a serious story, what people will complain is edge for the sake of edge like that shitty hellhound green text and quite honestly if that's the kind of shit that you want accepted then you're part of the problem as it gives people who want serious content a bad name.

>>14654253
Is it terribly unspeakable to eat a pack of raging mushrooms and turn a tier one alp into a tier three alp over the course of a weekend?

>>14654271
>>14654274
But dark elements are only good when handled well. But most "hardcore" stories we have are regurgitated tropes from try hard manga or contastly trying to one up itself trying to be "mature"

>>14654280
>shitty hellhound green text
Guy who started this conversation here, I really don't condone that kind of thing and think it's a step in the entirely wrong direction. Besides, that was clearly written by some asshurt guy, most likely the instigator of those furious sub/dom arguments.

I mean serious things were bad things can happen, where characters have problems to overcome, where monstergirls have actual downsides to them. Pure sunshine is as bad as pure edgy shit.

>>14654280
Wrong. You're on the sunshine side of the fence so you're not inclined to see the goobers in your midst. Do you even remember the people who would rewrite the endings to decent stories, not even edgemaster stories but good stories that just had a sad ending, because they couldn't stand anything bad happening?

They're the ones called sunshinefags and rightly so.

That you even assume I want edge for the sake of edge is complete nonsense. Look to the faggots in your own midst.

>>14654285
> abusing a tomboy like that
Weenie, you're meant to at least pretend you're being supportive! Otherwise she'll get all tsundere and refuse to wear anything but boxers!
Protect her smile and you'll be able to convince her to buy some frilly undergarments to cultivate her own secret rose garden~

>>14654297
Like the cutesy saccharine mash is any different in that respect. Most of it is just as bad and unimaginative. I'd say the main advantage it has though is that when it's handled poorly, it's still at least inoffensive.

>>14654301
This. Extremes on either side suck and end up producing completely asinine shit.
The edgy guys who want warhammer levels of bloodshed and the sunshine fags who want rainbows and golden daughterus ever after are as bad for content here as each other.

>>14654301
>Do you even remember the people who would rewrite the endings to decent stories, not even edgemaster stories but good stories that just had a sad ending, because they couldn't stand anything bad happening?

I don't care what side of the fence they're on, anons who do this can go fuck themselves.

>>14654302
Well we're going to have to get her a new wardrobe after she hits tier three anyway. Plus all that milk has gone to her thighs so her old boxers will never fit!
It's the most perfect plan ever.

>>14654302
>Tsun, stage 3 alp whose in denial about being an all and just goes around in boxers

Why do I want this?

>>14654323
> not wanting to make her into a flat chested introvert nerd
Do you even into bullying?

>>14654301
>Do you even remember the people who would rewrite the endings to decent stories
In all fairness that was rare and it doesn't seem to happen anymore. I bet it was just one shitposter anyway.

>>14654333
> trip 3's
> stage 3 Alp
HAPPENNING CONFIRMED

GUYS. What if...

Hear me out now...

What if...

Guys what if the demon lord is actually the first alp that ever existed?

>>14654335
I dunno, a thick, busty former tomboy whose peeved about being unable to wear boxers would be nice

>>14654345
Fuck you.

>>14654345
So that's why the Demon Lord giving birth is a public event, to prove she's really a woman

>>14654335
What's the point of bullying if it's not with a monoeye?

>>14654345
But alps were around in era of former demon lord supposedly
Also stop, I like alps and you're giving me and other alp fans a bad name

>>14654364
>you're giving me and other alp fans a bad name
I don't think they required much assistance to attain a bad reputation.

>>14653858
>your daughteru will never come home from school one day wearing an eye patch
>when you ask why she's wearing it she'll never says it's because the boys were being mean to her cyclops friend
>so she wore one to make her a cyclops too and help her friend with those bullys

>>14654301
>Do you even remember the people who would rewrite the endings to decent stories
You mean the ones over a year ago? That shit hasn't started in ages and to be fair it's happened the other way around to.

>>14654341
That same argument could be used for the purposefully edgy bait that rarely gets posted. Except it's never one person. In fact I saw someone asking about doing a different ending to a story here just last month around Christmas.

>>14654375
I miss Judge anon, his edits were glorious.

>>14654372
She's getting headpats and ice cream tonight

>>14654382
Judge anon was the only person who did that that I could tolerate, mainly because he either went after edgy stories or was generally humorous about it.
Still kinda bitter about the people who tried to suffering end that one shitty male prostitution story I did.

>>14654371
That always upsets me about alps. I like the fetish they cater to, and it irritates me people are deliberately retarded about them

>>14654391
Dont be bitter. If assholes can't get behind your writing then fuck them. Fuck them until they're alps.
ALL OF THEM.

>>14654364
Calm down anon I was just joking. Alps aren't even on my top five list. But they are on my top ten list however.

>>14654391
>Still kinda bitter about the people who tried to suffering end that one shitty male prostitution story I did.
Yeah that's the kind of stuff I was talking about, pretending it's only people who like happy endings who do that kind of thing is hilarious.

>>14654398
It makes me regret ever writing some of the original nice greentexts about them back when they were originally as hated as much as siths are now. I promise I'm never going to be a contrarian fuck about a monstergirl again, not after the abomination that alp posting has become.

>>14654398

I guess it's a good thing that my MG waifu isn't too popular.

>>14654403
Will the winds sing with the Kyaaa's of the fallen?

>>14654403
That's dangerously close to a certain unnamable writefag's philosophy and I won't adhere to it.
Also alps are shit.

>>14654416
Maybe there's a way to make Alps reach Sith status again...

>>14654391
I remember that one. With the manwhore and the jinko whore right?

You're right. It was shitty and terribly thought out.

>>14654403
>>14654424
Christ, just stop.

>>14654420
Me too.

>>14654434
I think he's referring to the one with the manwhore and oni.
But yeah. you're right. The Jinko whore and Manwhore story was shit.

>>14654434
Nope. Guy and an Oni. A stupid sappy thing I churned out late at night.

>>14654436
Never!
Abandon hope all ye who enter here for there shall be alps, horse pussy, and dairy products

>>14654459
>These words in somber color I beheld, written upon the summit of a gate

>>14654467
Come along Dante, we have such sights to show you

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>>14654459
I'd take horsepussy over Alps and Alpfags
Horsepussy also has frontpussy too.

>>14654509
Nightmare > Bicorn > shit > Alp > all other horsepussy

So KC returned to a schedule of 1 girl per 1-2 months like in old times?

>>14654524
Either that or 2 a month and we're getting one this Sunday. He did mention something on twitter a few days back about wanting to be faster though.

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>>14654512
>Alps above horsepussy at all
Nah, they're Sith-tier.

>>14654509
Horsepussy is only good for providing a challenge for those who want to fill girls to the brim

I want to jump into a Lilims arms while she's still making her speech about breaking me eventually!

>>14654535
I want to resist a Lilim's advances and flee her until she tracks me down only for her to find me waiting for her with a homecooked dinner in a nice suit!
She can't escape my romance trap!

>>14654550
You fiend! She might die when you lovingly hold her hand as you propose!

>>14654535

I want to accept a Demon's contract without reading it or before she can explain the details of it!

>>14654560
But anon, I can't propose to her after just one date. I need time to properly romance her.

>>14654562
Do you want to get a flustered Demon? Because that's how you get a flustered Demon.

I want to show a Succubus that friendship between man and monster is possible

>>14654572
Why did the Ryu's students keep falling asleep in class?
Her lectures tended to drag on.
I'll see myself out.

>>14654509
>Horsepussy also has frontpussy too
The good ones don't.

I wonder if a Kiki best friend would pretend to be my girlfriend so I can avoid rape

>>14654618
>Pretend
Anon, you don't know Kikimoras very well, do you?
The second she cleans anything, ANYTHING of yours, she's got you.

>>14654629
Fine how about an Elf pretending

>>14654267
Hmm oh well. Elfs are fine

>>14653637
I'm not praising a group of bints who're either a dakimakura hugging NEET virgin, some escapist fantasy world creating loli who found the ecstacy over the children's aspirin in mommy's medicine cabinet, a sundress wearing no shoes no service drawfag(ess) who keeps her cat stoned on the tears of anally anguished people over My Fetish > Your Fetish and some tart in a blue dress who isn't Cranius. No siree Bob.

>>14654648

>>14654533
>From My Point of view the Monster GIRLs are evil.

>>14654572
What do you call a Wendigo's summer coat? Her second husband.

>>14654648
But they're powerful and just want every human to be happy.

>>14654662
But our world is a NO-FREE-THOUGHT ZONE sir, now report back to the breeding pens.

>>14654664
It would be better then the world we have today.

>>14654662
>We have always been at war with Euras...I mean the Order

>Kiki teenager rebelling by making messes

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>>14654678

>>14654685
i still want a story about a tomboy rebellious Kiki who slowly became the perfect maid for Anon as the years went by.

>>14654685
In her pants?

>>14654695
I'm serious.

>>14654712
That makes you even more worthy of ridicule.

>>14654711
No her room

>Teenage succubus telling her mother that there is more to life than sex

>>14654713
Why? I thought everyone knew that this world was shot.

>>14654715
That is a grounding until she fucks her friend next door

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>>14654715

>>14654664
>breeding pens
Tell me more.

>>14654711
She's wearing diapers if she tries to pull that shit.

>>14654715
>Teenage succubus telling her mother that there is more to life than sex
>succumom starts laughing
>"Oh wait, you're serious?!?! Let me laugh harder!"
>the whole evening succumom is laughing
>throughout dinner
>throughout movie night
>Succubus daughter can even hear her mom laughing while blowing her dad in their bedroom

>Mom gets all dreamy-eyed
>"Of course honey. What is sex without love? Or sex without proper foreplay? Or sex without ambiance. Or sex without a man with a ten inch dick...and maybe his brother...and his father...and his uncle...and his best friend..."

>Teenage Tanuki telling her mom that she is no longer a capitalist but a communist

>>14654708
She had better keep the spats.

>>14654725
I want her to lift me up and carry me off to her room for cuddling.
Also rough sex.

>>14654728
Anon, you do know that he was talking about a different kind of mess in her pants right?
More of a "flood damage" thing if you catch my drift.

>>14654725
>"What's more important than sex?"
>"Mad gains mom!"

>>14654737
Meant for
>>14654715

>>14654737
>>14654731
MOM YOU DON'T EVEN GET ME NOW STAY OUT OF MY ROOM

>>14654727
Oh you know, just keeping the population up, making a few more humans as well.

>>14654743
>More of a "flood damage" thing if you catch my drift.
Pants are expensive anon, I can't have her ruining them to be rebellious. It's diapers and plastic pants for her till she can find some other way to take care of her urges.

>>14654740
Same thing happens as in >>14654731
With tanukimom laughing while doing taxes.

>>14654751
>Putting your teenage daughteru in diapers
Don't be surprised when she runs away from home with that nice boy from down the street.

>>14654744
>"Get with the times mom! Boys love toned girls now!"

Great, now I want a toned Succubus to corner me at a gym and tell me she caught me 'mirin.

>An elf telling her mom that she is going to be a serial rapist

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>>14654648

>a sundress wearing no shoes no service drawfag(ess) who keeps her cat stoned on the tears of anally anguished people over My Fetish>Your Fetish

>>14654662
>>14654712

You're a faggot.

>>14654740
>Her mom notices her wearing a Che Guevara shirt

>>14654754
>with that nice boy from down the street.
If he's a nice boy then I have nothing to worry about.

>>14654748
Fine go cuddle your pillow that 'totally isn't made to look like anon from next door.' While I go have a chat with him about his studies~! I just want to make sure he has a firm grasp on anatomy!

>>14654744
>4 scoops of semen!
>C'mon!

>>14654770
Don't you dare mom I hate you I hate you

>>14654770
And that's when she hears her daughter jump out the window and sees her soaring towards Anon's house.
Later she tries to sneak a peek at the aftermath but just anon and her daughter cuddling and gets flustered.

>>14654762
No you are.

>>14654780
Not even a single sex was had that night

>>14654777
Whoops silly me! Instead of bringing text books I accidentally brought your old baby photos! I hope anon doesn't mind looking through all of them with me! It might even get him in the mood to have children of his own!

>>14654784
Anon and that succubus won't have their first time until the full moon, where she lays back and lets him top while beckoning him into slow passionate leglocking sex while kissing.
She wanted their first time to be special.

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>no monstergirl waifu with an ass that could shatter oak

>>14654749
Where do I sign up?

>>14654795
>>14654793
And the Mother is just puzzed and wondering where she failed as a mom

>>14654803
She just wants her daughter to quit being scared and go after anon. She would like to have grandchildren before the next century you know. Sometimes the parents have to be the bad guy.

>>14654801
God damn I want her to sit on my dick.
She doesn't even have to move, she could just sit there and I'd be pumping her full.

I want to promise all my childhood friends that I would marry them despite not knowing what it meant at the time

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>tfw no war veteran combat kiki.

>>14654802
You already did. Every man has to play his part.

>>14654727
In order to keep humanity live and well, you will be matched based on your Asset # and Stock Designation to a sufficient breeding partner where you will continue humanity's existence rather than give into those filthy monsters.

>>14654817
There's a manga like that

>>14654818
Why would a kiki even be on the battlefield?

I want to get hurt in a Cheshire's trick to show her that she is going to far

>>14654837
Called to serve.

>>14654837
Do you even know how messy field operations bases get?

>>14654840
Would she even be fit for service? By monstergirl standards, she's on the weaker end

I want to infiltrate a monstergirl base and steal their intelligence briefcase

>>14654824
So basic marriage? Can my partner at least call me 'Al'?

>>14654839
What a way to make her lose that shitty smug grin of hers, i like it.

>>14654845
Motivated by master or meido magic.

>>14654846
>their 'intelligence' is just an original manuscript of the Kama Sutra

>>14654848
Crying how she never wanted anyone to get hurt

>>14654843
But would she want to clean something like that up?

>>14654853
>You'll never wake up to see her cradling you and crying about how she didn't want to hurt you.
Would you comfort her though?
Would you bring back her smile as a genuine warm smile towards you?

>>14654845
>Monster Girl Kingdom has 1 year mandatory conscription
>During Anon's year of service, a conflict breaks out
>His Kikimora demands to be allowed to go with him, and after much back and forth, she's finally allowed
>During a battle, Anon is hit in the arm
>His maid doesn't shout, doesn't cry, doesn't even call out his name
>She simply stands up and marches out from cover in a direct line towards where the enemy is
>The sheer force of her cold rage is enough to ensure that she's not hit
>No one is exactly sure what happened when she got to the enemy emplacement
>When Anon's squad was finally able to move up and retrieve her, she was quietly sweeping in a corner
>There were no bodies, but also no evidence that the enemy had fled
>No blood, no shell casings, nothing to even indicate that a battle even happened
>When Anon tapped her on the shoulder, she spun around with a warm smile on her face and said "I love you, master" and gave him a long hug

>>14654837
She would clean the battlefield by destroying the enemies and by disposing of the corpses.

>>14654871
I like my battlefields clean, allow Kikis to enlist ASAP.

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Stay inside and stay warm and comfy east coast anons, most areas are getting a foot of snow or more

>>14654867
Smile and ask if she is an angel

>>14654867
>you wake up in a hospital bed with wires and IV drips attached to you
>you look over and see Lindsey, the Cheshire Cat who put you in here asleep in a chair
>she wakes up and looks at you and instantly hugs you
>she says that she's sorry and will never do something like that ever again
>you tell her that it's okay and that no one could've known that you're deathly allergic to __memes__

>>14654884
I want to know which one of you bastards talked shit to a yuki-onna. Because I am freezing my ass off working in this weather.

>>14654762
I'm pretty serious. That cat's probably so fucking high on Anon's tears that Maritan has her watching flame_mammoth.swf just to calm her down.

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>>14654899
Watch out for deep snow trenches

I wanna run an arcade in MGC, would be safe for me and I would get loads of quarters

>>14654818
>dat feel when she used to get headpats from her CO
>each time you try to headpat her, it triggers her PTSD

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>>14654916
"We meet again, traveler"
TFW this is literally outside my house right now. The deep snow, not waifu.

Do you think in monster cities they sell prisoner fruit like prescription medicine to human girls who want it?

>>14654930
>not waifu

That just means you need to start digging.

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The dangerous yuki oni

>>14654889
Are you trying to give her a heart attack anon? Because that's going to get her heart pounding dangerously fast.
All the poor girl's blood is going to her face.

>>14654930
Awwww, she had an ambush planned!

I want to have a Vampire childhood friend and let her drink a little of my blood in between video games

BEST MG JOKE. GO.
need some for a story I'm doing about a comedian and can't think of any good ones off the top of my head
The best one I've come up with so far is what do you do when there's a fire on your doghouse? Get your Kobold daughter to pee on it!

>>14654948
Well I have to be in heaven because that cute Cheshire must have scared me to death

>>14654931
Depends on how many men are coming in.

>>14654953
>"Hey want to hear a joke?"
>"Human women."

>>14654953
Jesus christ, if that's your "A" material then you have no right writing comedy.

>>14654953
Things you can say about a salad and not a succubus

This one is extra virgin

>>14654950
>play fighting games with vampire childhood friend
>every time you lose she snacks on your blood
>every time you win she gives you a chaste kiss on the lips
It's a win win situation I tell you!

>>14654953
What's the difference between a sick duck and a sick mallard? One's a sick duck, I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother's a whore.

>>14654931
yeah, for those who dont want to become a monster the 'fun way' as they call it.

>>14654950
Me too, especially if she likes cuddles and head pats. I want a cute vampire to nuzzle into my chest on a cold, winter night and hear her content sighs as a big goofy smile forms on her face.

>>14654965
This is the last time we invite Sean Connery to Celebrity Jeopardy.

>>14654964
But platonically obviously despite what out parents would say

>>14654947
She's very easy on the eyes,

>>14654953
>"What's the difference between a Succubus and a Paladin?"
>"One is a violent dangerous beast that endangers human lives, and the other's a Succubus."

>>14654953
>spoiler
oh you...

>>14654953
So looking at your joke and all the other responses, this guy is meant to be booed off the stage, right?

>>14654976
>this becomes a habit for your vampire friend
>go out to your buddy's birthday party at an arcade
>your vampire friend was invited too
>start playing games
>eventually go to the fighting games
>you and your friend beat everyone else there and finally it's just you two playing each other
>after three grueling rounds you win
>vampire friend gives you a kiss for wining
>instantly goes red after realizing what she did in a crowded arcade in front of everyone
>both of your parents are laughing at how flustered the two of you have become

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>>14654953
Have you told that joke before? You shouldn't be ryusing material.

>>14655005
Not really, he's supposed to be a well known comedian but he's at the end of his career and wants something different in his life. Think Adam Corolla but set in MGC.

>>14654980
>Succubi
>Not endangering to human life
>Implying they're not endangering to every Anon's bachelor life

>>14655009
Rematch time I guess to prove it was just friendly gaming

>no new MG since Satyros
Is it happening again?

KC going MIA again?

>>14655021
Didn't you hear? KC's dead, anon.

>>14654953
What is a Kiki's least favorite musical style?

A Rhumba

>>14655024
lmao
someone will believe this

>>14655027

I don't get it

>>14655021
>Oh no, it's been longer than a week. The sky is falling!

Give it a rest Chicken Little. He used to go up to two months between profiles.

I want to let a vampire feed from me but in no way sexually

>>14655029
It'd make me feel all warm inside to know that people so trusting might exist.

>>14655032
But even not-monstergirl vampires always make it kind of sexual.

>>14655013
Then do a proper standup monologue.

>>14655030
Word play.

>>14655031
>only two-three
We've waited for longer than that, desu.

Is it another case of harassment discouraging KC?

>>14654953
There's this Oni, y'see. But she's not like the other Oni's, y'see. She's a twig. A twerp. A squirt. Take your pick, she's fucking weak. All the other Onis make fun of her. No guys will date her since without her muscles, she's just a red whore with some nubby horns. Eventually, she gets sick of it, as humans and human-like bodies are wont to do. She gets sick of it, and she goes to a bridge. Nice tall bridge. Nice tall fall. Just got to make sure to go head first. So she goes up to show up at the bridge, didn't even bother to write a goodbye note to her disappointed parents. Just her, a baggy sweatshirt, torn jeans and dirty panties. No bra. She goes to go up to the bridge but instead she finds a barrier. A big, barrier-shaped fuck-you from the bleeding hearts of 'Frisco. Can't jump off of it. Too tall. So she's about to turn away in disgust when she sees a sign posted on the barrier so cruelly holding her back. I'll spare you the bullshit. It's the usual tripe. Value your life. Unlock your potential. All your problems will be solvable except for the problem you cause when you take the plunge. Ungh, who beefed, right? Well bizarrely enough, this twerp Oni here takes the self-help booklet bullshit to heart. She goes back home. Hugs her parents. Walks her dog. Swears to get fit, and boy does she ever. Starts chugging back the supplements and wolfing down the oats like a champ. When she's nice and big she starts to tone that flab into a mighty fine sculpture of grade-A girl-muscle. It's a dream come true. She's finally made it. Confidence restored, she takes a nice little victory walk down between Fort Point and Vista Point, tasting the sea-breeze as it blows back her shoulder-high do. She comes across that sign once again. Got a smile to end all smiles on her face. She uses her newfound strength to vault over the barrier and plunges to her death.

Since people were talking about the lack of grimdark stories earlier on, I wrote a little something

it's probably shit but I had fun making it: http://pastebin.com/gw73svHe

I tried to have some suspense and a lot of mystery, but if you really want to know what it's about before wasting your time reading a 1000+ words greentext, read this spoiler: Mindflayer sneakily corrupts a village, MC gets NTR'd and beaten up as an indirect result

>>14655043

I cannot follow.

>>14655051
>NTR
It's shit.

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>>14655053
>he doesn't chick-chicky boom chick-chicky boom

>>14655050
Too obvious. A twist needs to be more of a surprise.

I want to hug a Mindflayer

>>14655051
>NTR
unacceptable.

>>14655051
That was awful.

I bet a Dullahan would be a nice friend

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>>14654953
A Ryu walks into a bar
The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

Worked until midnight again tonight.
Too tired for proper sentences.
Send help in the form of cuddly anubis please.

>>14655021
My bet we'll be getting them about once per two weeks from now on, with possible speed up near summer. That's roughly the right number to reach 200 for him for summer comiket.

>>14655051
You make people like Alp and Bollocks look like fucking Shakespeare. That was horrible in every way and your fetish is just, ugh.

>>14655072
>A Ryu walks into a bar

Sounds painful.

>>14655083
That's but of the joke, man.
Ryus don't walk.
They're too smooth for walking.

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>>14655051
>NTR

>>14655072
how does a Ryu walk?

>>14655069
Until she spills her hidden feelings for you

>>14655094
Then she's a great friend.

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>>14655094
Even better.

>>14655094
That's when you abuse her detached head for extreme teasing and bullying

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>>14655069
Only friend?

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wanwan gettin tied up

>>14654953
>Met this Oomukade the other day. She apparently has been following my tours across the country
>Nice girl. Needs to shower
>Anyways, she ambushed me one day in my hotel room. Somehow snuck passed all my guards and patiently waited for me to finish fucking the entourage before asking me while I was showering
>I would say who does this, but as a Succubus, I've done my due of ambushing people in the shower
>Fun fact: It's scary.
>Anyway. After the screaming and the yelling and telling security to fuck off, we got dowsn to whatever she came here for
>Apparently, she's been interested in this guy for a long time. She knows his favourite food, drink, where he sleeps, what he likes, his favourite shows
>Clearly this woman has too much time on her hands
>She asked me, after I told her to stop telling me what time he wakes up - But I mentally kept not of that - what was the best way to approach him and tell him her feelings
>"Have you thought about raping him?"
>"R-Rape? Isn't that wrong?"
>What the fuck did I just hear?
>What the fuck just came out of this woman?
>Bitch what the fuck is wrong with you?
>This is why you smell like a slug girl: IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T RAPED HIM
>This chick can probably steal a boys virginity before he even has the chance to Alp due to how sneaky she is
>You could rape him while he's having dinner with his parents!
>He could be in class getting a boner due to his Anubis teacher bending over to pick up a pen and you could suck his dick without anyone knowing!
>Granted, with that stench you might accidentally have the fire alarm mistake it for smoke but still
>A pot devil would be jealous of how sneaky she is. "oh, I'm just going to sit in this pot and they'll never find me!" This bitch could be a natural rapist
>I'm sorry, I was a little jealous of her skill. I mean, I raped the guy but I got caught by his parents right when he came
>Meanwhile, this bitch raped him again while I was escaping and nobody knew
>The fucking Yeti serial hugger isn't even that stealthy. And she hugged the president during a speech and was gone as fast as she appeared
>Fuck that Oomukade, man. Smells like a bubble slime yet gets away with murder

>So anyways, they're married. Yeah, I know, congratulations. They have two kids I think. One baby and some high schooler
>Yeah. Remember that lengthy case about the mysterious rapes at some high school?
>Yeah
>Genes are a hell of a thing

Flat stage 2 alps in frilly dresses!
Curvy stage 3 alps in boyshorts!
Alps in boys swim trunks!
Alps in lacy nightshirts and ankle socks!

>>14655107
Yeah because friendship is nice and no need to worry about sex

>>14655121
You're asking to be raped

>>14655051
I kinda enjoyed it.

>>14655125
Dullahans aren't that rapey and friendship can happen between man and monster

>>14655114
heh

>>14655115
>Curvy stage 3 alps in boyshorts!
Anon, you're speaking my-
>Alps in boys swim trunks!
Anon-
>Alps in lacy nightshirts and ankle socks!
Son no stockings with a garter-belt? You had me then you lost me]

>>14655114
I feel like this would be hilarious if I were a monstergirl.

>>14655051
You could have cut out like 3/4 of this. I mean the NTR part has nothing to do with the monster girl part. Why would a Mindflayer do that? I mean this isn't grimdark it's just angst wank.

>>14655136
But I find it hilarious and I'm not a monstergirl.

>>14655051
>NTR
I'm not going to read this shit, but you know that when girls monsterize they go for the man they loved as a human, right?

I want to heckle a Monstergirl comedian

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>>14654533
>>14654657
>not posting with proper imagery

Amateurs.

Also Horse Pussy > Alps.

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>>14655153

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>You will never meme the memecat

Why even live?

>>14655134
Too forward! Flatchest alps need cute not seductive, they stutter too much!
Besides, barechest swimming alps are best