Ask a lonely suicidal person anything.

when you will kill yourself?

When will my spaghet be ready Tony?

>>54866592
3.1 femtoseconds from now

>>54866523
whats wrong m8

>>54866611
my entire life

>>54866523
Are you interested in an adventure of a life time? You have nothing to lose already. Meet me at Akcakale 2 weeks from now.

Can I get your corpse after you're done?

Human carcass is suprisingly valuable to many.

>>54866523

Impatience is the number 1 cause for suicide. Give it 10 yrs and you'll be fine.

>>54866523
say something
reason make you decide to kill yourself

>>54866523
Are you North Italian?

>>54866659
Why's your life crap? My lifes shit as well desu senpai

How is the sunshine?

File: Screenshot_2016-01-15-20-51-44.png (941KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

941KB, 1920x1080px

*waves ping pong paddle in the air*
Dont do it la :o

>>54866659
it can't be that bad

I can't find a job.
I have no friends.
I have no gf.

Mario, how are you going to kill yourself?
I thought about small amount of explosives. This is the only way to be certain you will feel no pain and will not survive.

Why you post here and not on /r9k/?

>>54866668
see u there if I haven't killed myself by that point
>>54866675
yes
>>54866677
u 100% sure?
>>54866678
;_;
>>54866707
yes
>>54866717
because I ain't got anything, just the internet
the internet is my entire life
>>54866727
no sun shines today ;_;
>>54866741
ok I wait :o
>>54866742
it's pretty shit, though
and it won't get any better any time soon
>>54866808
bullet to the head, quick, fast
gives no time to regret if done properly
>>54866823
I hate the robot

File: 1455043116164.png (85KB, 462x419px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 462x419px

>>54866523
So you finally decided to end it Shqip? Too much bullism?

>>54866867
Are you fat?

>>54866867
>no sun shines today ;_;
multiply it by 365 and you're in Poland

>>54866867
Not really, Killing yourself with handgun to head has about 92% success rate.
Explosive with sufficient velocity will kill you before you even notice.

File: 1411875182335.jpg (738KB, 1200x791px) Image search: [Google]

738KB, 1200x791px

>>54866523
stop being an attention seeking little bimbo bitch
your ancestors basically built europe, stop being a whiny cunt on the internet
you mario lookin' motherfucker

Guys guys he's the Albanian trying to force another shitty meme.
Is impossible to not have friends here , even the most autistic piece of shit has at least 1 friend here.

>>54866910
What about that cheap Amazon mask? We can sleep and die, like a real prince.

>>54866939
Stop being brown non-european, oh wait, too late

File: 1454202788329.webm (2MB, 668x568px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 668x568px

>>54866523
I currently possess both a helium tank and a high quality hemp rope

>>54866523
HAHAZHHA HAAHA EY B0SS EY B0SS CAN I HAVE LE PRANK PLS XDDXDDD HE HARRASSES PEOPLE IN PUBLIC BUT HE'S BETTER THAN THOSE OTHER PRANKSTERS I SWEAR
LOOOOL HE SHARES HIS APPARTMENT WITH BRAINDEAD LOLSORANDUM VERSIONS OF HIMSELF FROM OTHER DIMENSIONS BECAUSE AYY LMAO FRANKU IS DEEP HE EVEN HIS AN EPIN GOD WORSHIP OF CHIN CHIN PENIS BENIS LOOOOOOOL XDXDDDD
AND CHIN CHIN ALWAYS SAYS ORE WA OCHINCHIN GA DAISUKI NANDAYO WHICH MEANS I LOVE DA BENIS WHERE DOES HE KEEP COMING UP WITH THAT SHIT
I'M 16 AND MY HUMOR IS SUPERIOR
I LOVE TWITTER NIGGER MEMES

>>54866895
skinnyfat
>>54866896
truly a terrible sight
>>54866910
a bullet travels faster than your brain can process information, if you point the muzzle the right direction it's going to be quick and painless

>>54866957
Never heard of it, source?
I might consider it.

>>54867002
So do explosives.
Still, they have lower failure rate

>>54867002
>a bullet travels faster than your brain can process information
>Albanian education

>>54866957
>taking /r9k/ infographs seriously
don't, if you fail you'll end up brain damaged

>>54867038
because idiots don't even know where their brain is located, so they end up blowing their eyes out
suicide by handgun most honorabru death there is
>>54866989
did you know you get a boner 2 to 4 hours after you hang yourself?

File: serveimage.jpg (94KB, 640x411px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 640x411px

>>54867012
We must ask /sci/ about those things. I'm afraid of the pain at the end, even if it's too short.

>>54867122
I need to point out that this picture uses a Baloon Time helium tank as an example which is the worst example because they add 20% oxygen to their tanks for many years now, you'd have to buy helium tank from company that doesn't add oxygen, probably a small local company would be best choice

>>54867092
>don't, if you fail you'll end up brain damaged
How high is the chance of that? There are two reasons why I'm still alive:
1) I don't know about a method that is completelly painless.
2) I have to wait until my parents die (~30years), but I don't want to live another 30 years.

>>54867228
Kill your parents

>>54867228
what this guy said >>54867224
you'll still get oxygen, only in lower quantity than your brain requires, so you end up with brain damage and several of your brain functions will be impaired
firearms are completely painless, as long as you know how to use them
if you use a shotgun you won't need to be overly accurate because it'll destroy your head entirely in a fraction of a second

>>54867122
Most suicide attempts aren't actually meant to kill oneself, they're just cries for attention. That's why only a small part of suicide attempts is successful.

>>54867318
What if I do it after shamefur dispray

>>54867355
Then you better bring a friend who is good with a sword
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yukio_Mishima#Coup_attempt_and_ritual_suicide

>>54867412
If i had friends, I wouldn't be contemplating suicide
Are you good with a sword?
Wanna visit Poland?

>>54867442
Why would a Pole want to do seppuku? Just blow your head off.
Or don't be a ragequitting pussy.

>>54867245
Why should I kill them? They are the only two people who "love" me.

>>54867315
>it'll destroy your head entirely in a fraction of a second
Is this enough to avoid the pain? What about the uncomfy feel and fear before you shoot?

>>54867490
>What about the uncomfy feel and fear before you shoot?
no time to regret
pull the trigger and it's over before you realize it

>>54867490
That's the only way out if you want to die now but want parents to die before you
>>54867489
Because it's honorable
I'm not ragequiting

>>54867490
As I said, 92% of success
explosives are safer, and with right velocity, faster than your brain which means you won't even see explosion

>>54867541
Do you still have two working feet and two working hands? There are blind, deaf, and people with missing limbs who go on with living, and they still manage to find a purpose in society.
Have you really tried? Because I'm pretty sure that you can actually find a job, just probably not the job you want. It ain't over till it's over. Is there really nobody whose heart you'd break if you killed yourself? Parents? Family?

>>54867632
Jobs I can get are exhausting mentally
When I worked it seemed like forever and once i made way home i didnt even noticed when day was over.
I don't want to live like this, and I don't want to be a burden for anyone.
People without limbs have proffesionals helping them and government programs. I have nothing.

I dont think so.
All my family is dead. I broke contact with friends, now just have few loose acquitances.

>>54867539
What about this >>54867565
Are there people who finished their life like that?

>>54867541
I could start a fight and leave them, so they would think that I live somewhere else, but it would make them sad until their end.

>>54866867

Yes, 100 % sure. I considered suicide for 2 years but somehow managed to get through it.
Funny thing is that you propably know for SURE that things aren't going to change, but that's because you don't see clearly when you are depressed. In 10 years you'll look back and think wtf was i thinking. seek counseling m8, it helps. a LOT.

>>54867315
I'm not sure what this guy says is true, I read about it alot and general opinion is that you can only get brain damage and not die if someone stops you after only like 2 minutes of inhaling, if you've been inhaling whole tank for like 10min then you are either dead or you are completely fine cause the manufacturer adds enough oxygen for it to be safe, this brain damage thing is widely considered to be propaganda by those anti-suicide groups

>>54867696
>When I worked it seemed like forever and once i made way home i didnt even noticed when day was over.
Just do something with your hands. Stuff like farming or building is less mind-numbing than a boring office job. Or join the army.
Friends come when you get a job.

>>54867737
here you have precise data
http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/statistics-most-lethal-methods
It's your parents, you know them best.
There's no easy way out of this.
>>54867740
"seeing clearly" is abstract concept
I am not unreasonable, I have tried to improve my situation but exhausted all options and I am confident that improvement is very unlikely to occur.

>>54866523
ロリ博士, are you alright

>>54867791
I did warehouse work etc.
I just can't stop thinking.
Friends and re-introduction to normal life are main reason why I want a job. I could sustain myself (humbly, but still) living off rent from houses i inherited.

>>54867796
>agony
>over 0
What about a blackout? Would we feel something while we "aren't there"?

>>54867833
Then join the army/police. It's probably less boring.

>>54867737
no, explosives are terribly ineffective
first you have to manufacture them yourself, and this can backfire easily if you're not an expert
it will take a shitload of time as well
and if you fail, you end up losing your limbs, eyes and even cases when people lost jaws to fireworks explosions
why put yourself in a lot of risks when firearms are "safe" (it means tested), already manufactured and easier to obtain than explosives?
>>54867740
I will try to contain my suicidal feelings if I can
it's easier said than done tho
>>54867765
there have been cases of people waking up after HOURS and feeling nothing but strong headaches, difficulty to breathe and pain due to damage to the respiratory system
others used the good old carbon monoxide tube from car exhausts to kill themselves and ended up vegetables
it's not a very effective way to end yourself because there are too many things that can go wrong if you don't know exactly what to do and how to do it
with guns, only one thing can go wrong: you aimed at the wrong target, which is extremely unlikely unless you're complete fucktard and you shoot yourself like the movies with the barrel on your temple near your eyes, which will only partially damage your brain if you use a small caliber like 9mm or even worse .22

>>54867926
For obvious reasons, it's very hard to say.
I often tell myself to encourage myself that death is inevitable. I will have to face it sooner or later.

>>54867962
This isn't USA, that requires heavy discipline and good physical conditions. I am fairly certain I won't pass.

What is love?

>>54868016
Then train. Physical exercise makes everyone feel better, plus gives you a sense of achievement.
>>>/fit/

>>54868060
My life isn't a hollywod movie. I fucked up and I don't have what it takes to fix it. I have no reason to believe it will ever get better.

>>54868101
Because it doesn't get better by itself. You need someone to tell you to get off your ass and do something about it.
How do you know you don't have what it takes to fix your life? Have you tried every imaginable option?

>>54866523
Do you have Lithuanian ancestors?

>>54867969
You and the pole have different arguments, so I'm not sure about any of them.

>>54867980
>I often tell myself to encourage myself that death is inevitable. I will have to face it sooner or later.
That's what I'm thinking since I was 5. The universe will die, so you will die with it, even if you manage to survie in a computer.

>>54868212
dude, seriously?
the guy is suggesting you to kill yourself with explosives when there are ways that have been successfully tested and work better
if the legality of the weapon is your problem, just buy one from the black market
who cares, you're gonna die anyway

>>54868191
I tried every realistic option that came up to my mind. I didn't for example tried to become drug dealer. And I'm not going to live and suffer because i can possibly win lottery and change my life.

>>54868277
As the data provided says, these ways are not 100% effective. If he's okay with 97% then cool.
Explosives are however something you can make at home without crime contacts.
And they're very effective.
Also, illegal handgun costs about 3000 euro.

>>54868277
Pain is my biggest fear. I just want a painless death, but I can only think about a natural death.

>>54868374
nosedive from the highest place you can find
100% sure you'll die on the spot

>>54868387
If the brain will be crushed
Otherwise, he will just be paralysed and will die because of sustained injuries

>>54868418
true, this is why it must be at least 10 meters tall
even 5 meters may not be enough if he jumps incorrectly
and the higher he is, the more time he will have to regret his choice as his body travels at hundreds of kilometers/hour before smashing on the ground like a tomato

>>54866523
how old are you?

>>54868453
Could I take medicaments to pass off while falling? Or better, before falling, so another guy could push me to death.

>>54868562
Well, you would have to find another guy.
Such medicaments are not avalible without prescription, but you can buy them online without prescription.

>>54868615
It should be easy to find a person who would do this, but I must find the right medicament for this. And I should also find a method to land with my head on the ground.

File: preikestolen.jpg (778KB, 2560x1496px) Image search: [Google]

778KB, 2560x1496px

the most beautiful death is right here, the only disadvantage is your family would have to travel to Norway to identify your body

>>54868805
Helping commit suicide is a crime. It can be harder than you think. As for medicament, i suggest reading about anesthesiology. Or try searching for what they use to make pets sleep. This should be relatively easy to acquire, and with little luck it will work on humans too.

Good luck.

>>54866523
Are you me?

Please let's meet up!

I can be your friend! I have a good heart!