Nudist beach ni shūgakuryokō de!!
by Shiwasu no Okina
Translation thread 4
Previous thread, almost full:
Links to first 2 threads there too.
Chapters 1 and 2 English
Chapter 3 Japanese
Chapter 3 Chinese
So... we have the latest raw for chapter 3, and a rough script based on the Chinese version starting at . Now we're waiting for Translator anon's script based on the raw.
The important thing is to get chapter 3 translated. But just noting some issues I have (again):
- Chapter 1 is a lower resolution and thus lower quality scan than chapter 2. Can't be helped. Wish we get a better scan in the future, so the complete release of this story can have consistent pages.
- Similarly, the raw scans of chapter 3 are not as good as the scans of chapter 2. Maybe wait for a better one before finalizing the pages?
- The raws of chapter 1 and to a lesser extent chapter 2 are lighter than the English version. The Chinese scans are also lighter. But this doesn't show in Firefox for some reason. Only other programs. I'm just concerned about the real or intended colors.
- There are still some artifacts/specks/scanlines left, I'm trying to clean those up more but I can't fix everything.
- Another guy said the translation of at least one page needs work. Don't know who to believe, him or our Translator. Anyway, it's just one page so far that -might- have sentences too far from the original.
Pretty sure you're doing it wrong.
But in case you can't download from sadpanda, there are mirror links in the last thread:
Might as well post the old chapters here while nothing is happening.
End of English ones so far, hope there will be more. Credits page posted by OP.
Glasses guy is gonna get all the pussy, don't worry
I tried to look for raws everywhere, but only found this site:
The download was sketchy as hell. Something about converting what I found in the rar. I recall that stuff being a virus in an earlier one of these threads. Should I delete and move on?
If the raw is posted here, will this pick back up? If the anon team isn't simply busy right now, is it an issue of access?
Anyway here we go. Rawest raw, no color corrections or cleaning yet
You'll notice that the Chinese versionhas more clear blacks (though some nipples look too dark as a result IMO) and is cleaner
And there's a script based on the Chinese version already but it won't be as accurate. Despite the quality, this should be enough to get the real script, I hope.
Poor Akiho, this is a harem story
I think this raw generally shows a little more of the art on the pages than the Chinese one,
I think it's implied she's not a virgin
Such a caring friend, breaking in your crush before you fuck
I wish the first penetration scene wasn't rushed unlike this, though it was for comedy.
That condom supply weren't in the earlier chapters. Sensei thinks of everything
the girls are still good and nothing says there won't be an orgy at the end. At the very least, I think they'll start having sex in front of others at some point. They also need to explain why the other males are not getting erections.
While I too would like more of the guys to get laid, isn't the whole point of nudist beaches (in this story anyway) "pls don't sexualize nudity"?
If getting erections in public are against the rules, the same goes for all lewd activities in public. If they're not in the tent all they're allowed to do is check each other out and act casual.
(Though of course this is fiction so it only matters if they get caught, and they could swim out further for some underwater action)
If you need more than one dick, your self-insert's, to fap, you might have problems.
The work is fucking boring but not because of that, the scenes are short, inconsistent and fucking condom.
Look at all sexual action in the three chapters, that's what I'd expect from a single one. This is one of the stories I read once, then I have to squeeze all the little sex there is into one other folder to fap, it's very weak and the build-up goes in places. Doesn't help that best (slim tall) girl gets a too short in-between condom sex scene, only to later go all out on the loli. I like loli but not when you deliver me that hot bitch before.
I've gotta give it to SnO though, to milk that little content into nearly half a tankoubon is remarkable.
Chapter 3 raw is posted right in this thread, at least
New chapters will come in time, I'm more concerned about the translation, hope the group isn't kill
I'd have preferred the previous two girls to have more page time too but the story is just heavy on setup.
The whole first chapter and much of the second and third is setup and blue balls.
Huh, the Chinese aren't first for once. Looks like it's by the same people who scanned chapter 3, same resolution and all.
So the people who scanned chapter 2 in the best quality so far are 2 chapters behind now. I mean the group who did this: http://exhentai.org/s/7eeea27f4e/725425-52
I actually went to their forum and asked them if they plan to scan the June issue of Aun with chapter 1, but they don't. Ah well.
The previous thread hasn't 404'd yet but it's close. Instead of posting the Chinese version and its secondhand panel by panel translation here again, check them out here: http://fgts.jp/h/thread/3788946/#q3796397
(There's also nsfw.archive.moe but the older threads we made don't have all images saved there.)
Been working on this.
Tried to redraw the part of her breast cropped by the margin in >>3811833
Also tried to clean up some uneven scanlines/specks/artifacts.
Next chapter is definitely in tent. I'm guessing he fucks the other otaku girl, then the two girls with boyfriends. I actually thought those two would be the only one he doesn't, guess that means he is getting all of them (least likely would be the two volleyball girls). Also I have random theory that the teacher will not get fucked by him, but instead do a huge gangbang with the rest of the class. Don't know why I think that.
Also another preview, proving that it is the two girls the other guy thought it was.
The author's blog has a link to a free digital version of the first chapter.
It's low resolution and mostly unremarkable except for the ridiculous double-censoring. They put mosaics on top of the already-censored parts, producing in some cases, dicks that look like zebras.
Shiwasu no Okina is one of the most productive hentai artist I've ever seen. Unless there is specific reason, you can pretty much assured that there is a chapter of Shiwasu's manga in Comic Aun.
Yo. The scan group who did chapter 2 did the Aun issue with chapter 3. They haven't put it on sadpanda yet but it can be downloaded from:
http://rapidgator DOT net/file/b7a5a6369058369519aeec8d4505a812
Compare this page with >>3813246, the scan already on sadpanda. For consistency we should use these scans. Though the colors are different, so I hope this one is more accurate.
I hope the other team members are fine and show up soon. The last thread 404ed.
You can see the edges are kind of skewed.
Instead of cropping the page and losing some detail not in the other raw and the Chinese scan, I tried to adjust the art around the extra space.
Just an experiment like >>3814802 (which is too light, I'll have to fix that). I'm also still trying to clean chapter 1 more.
dear lord, this is my ultimate fetish
If it's not just masturbation, then sex involves at least two people doing something or a variety of things.
If you care about anything other than OH MY GOD A PICTURE OF A VAGINA, then it is not unreasonable to want more male characters involved, because they're a big part of what is going on.
I don't like the white-outs but but least it's not the huge black bars Comic Aun had in between the new installments of this.
Tried fixing this again, this time I cropped the black spaces at the bottom, but slightly moved the art -up- to minimize the loss.
If you compare >>3816519 (scanned by Team.Comic ONE) to >>3813246, the latter cropped out some art at the bottom (pubes and navel), the other keeps more of the art but is more skewed. This is true for all the pages. So I tried to keep more of the art. Is this over the line?
Saved in greyscale with GIMP, the pure raw is RGB.
That's the bigger raw.
Less than 100 posts until autosage again, and still no real new scripts. Please show up, editor, translator, typesetter anons...
Besides trying to fix the pages we have, I'm thinking of making a temporary English version using the translation from the Chinese by Translator-anon. *Something* to liven up things during this downtime. To save space here I might post that and the raw page edits I do in an imgur album if we're allowed to link that site here.
Because it's not the "official group release", I'm not redrawing stuff (job for typesetter anon), it would use the smaller Chinese scans, the fonts would be different and the script would be a little liberal. It shouldn't go on sadpanda either.
These threads did produce a French to English version of chapters 1 and 2 before Translator-anon came along (which other sites have posted instead of the revised one).
Here's the Chinese to English panel by panel translation, copied from the previous thread:
Like I said, here's a Chinese-to English version of chapter 3 based on the earlier posts by Translator-anon, using the Chinese pages. But it's not finished yet and to show it's a "beta version" I didn't replace the sound effects. Cross-check it with the pastebin if you like.
Please show up again, guys, so we can start for real...
All the pages for that "beta version" are up at the link now. Should I post it here anyway?
Imgur seems neat. I also uploaded chapters 1 and 2 in English to the same account. Plus all the raws, all the preview pictures in these threads so far, the works. Will add new stuff as I find them.
See http://zvqk.imgur.com/ for everything, it's organized.
All the stuff is there, we just need the people to work on it, so please come back guys... ;_;
You should actually trying reading all of his material before you state your opinion about it when you're saying it to people that actually have.
You only make yourself look like a dumbass.
Yeah. The having everyone go to a nude beach plot seems like a huge waste if it's just Glasses-kun nailing each girl in the tent, one after the other. Why even have all the other guys around?
Gotta admire his stamina and virility though, I guess.
After the buildup from the first two chapters, it really feels like Okina intended for this to be another orgy series, then decided at the very last minute that he didn't want to exhaust himself again.
My only real problem with it is that if you don't even bother to justify the girls' attitudes (first they were super embarrassed to be naked, but now they are just taking turns getting fucked by this guy with no concern for exclusivity), then that defeats the purpose of the premise.
Can anyone give a very basic translation, like a summary, of what goes down in the latest chapter. Sad that nothing has happened on that front.
>Sad that nothing has happened on that front.
Yeah, I would say we've reached the point where input from anyone would be welcome. Chapter 5 probably soon. If I could translate, I would.
No offense, but only "Other guy" from the chapter 1-2 team is still showing up, the others haven't shown up for a long time.
If new anons offer to help and they return, they can all just divide the workload or something.
>justify the girls' attitudes
I thought the third chapter did it pretty well, accuracy issue aside.
The first two girls were looking out for their friend who wanted the dick. The first girl wanted to stop the dick, the second girl wanted to train the dick.
It's already in the thread >>3814712 but anyway:
http://imgur.com/a/iislI (from Other guy's account)
New preview from his/her twitter.
Without censorship bars \^^/
>The first two girls were looking out for their friend who wanted the dick. The first girl wanted to stop the dick, the second girl wanted to train the dick.
That only justifies their actions, not their attitudes. They're still inexplicably turning into cock-hungry semen demons as soon as they step into the tent.
Not to mention that sex starts feeling awful after you bust a nut the third or fourth time in a 24 hour period. And is nobody concerned about diseases? Two of those girls have boyfriends, they whould require some convincing which most likely won't happen. There's no convincing in general, you'd think the two nerd girls would be super reluctant and ashamed at first, but no. It's the little touches of realism that make a work great, this had that potential but it fell flat on it's face.
Discussion is cool but getting this done is cooler. Anyone else willing to help right now? Been over a month since the rest showed up, wish they would. We need to at least get scripts for the new chapters but rechecking the older ones won't hurt, we could revise them for the complete version if needed.
...No? All the girls in the translated chapters have their own attitudes in this. Akiho is forced to help him cum and it's awkward, but "if it's him it's okay". Out of all the girls, she's the closest to him and she secretly likes him. Ayame volunteers in order to spare Sanaka, but she's uncomfortable the whole time. Sanaka volunteers because she's attracted to his body, but she's also uncomfortable with her urges. Keika volunteers to take his virginity so it will be better for Sanaka if her first time is with him. She seems to be the only non-virgin so far, so she's relaxed about it unlike the rest. As for the rest, we won't know the full story until someone translates their parts. The otaku girls were already perving over celebrities and the girls with boyfriends are probably up for some fooling around.
>The otaku girls were already perving over celebrities and the girls with boyfriends are probably up for some fooling around.
So shitty writing. Just because the girls in your algebra class swoon over Chris Evans doesn't mean they'll fuck the shy kid who wore a Captain America shirt everyday, even if his dick is huge. Same with the girls with the boyfriends, it would be easy enough to include one of them in the class for some romantic vanilla and ntr the other one or whatever, but no, just make the whole thing one-note.
Thanks! Now this is progress! It would be great if you can do chapter 4 also.
And it's all right with me if other people still volunteer their own translations. Like with translations of books, the more opinions we have the clearer it can become right?
Like before, here's some comments:
- All the honorifics are in place?
- Some interesting differences here from the Chinese to English script.
>It's like an ogre's. Hide it already!
Oni? Demon could work too.
>He's going to cum soon. But I need to calm it down. I don't want Sayaka to face this.
Aya's not saying it to him, she's just thinking it? (It's Sanaka, right?)
>Typical virgin mistake there, Aya.
What did Aya do wrong? Interesting that Keika sounds more mean to her. And it's implied she's not a virgin herself?
>Before you know it, Sayaka could disappear right before your eyes...
Does she mean another guy could take her?
>I'm cumming from a cherry-boy.
Yeah, cherry boy means virgin. Is it more of "I'm going to cum", or is she in fact already cumming?
>This back is just too sexy!
>I think it's sexy, too. I love it!
Her back, or their sex position from behind? If he's talking about her body her response is funny.
>Seriously... There's no one else that can match that. Are you still hard?
What's "that", the way he had sex with her, or his dick?
>This is my body. We'll have to train really hard if we want to get rid of all these overflowing perverted feelings of mine.
We, not I?
>I'm also interested in women's bodies. And because of that, I'm also interested in this pervert.
So he admits he's attracted to her like the other boys?
>Your dick is so intense. It's like a piston!!
She's the one saying it?
To keep a place open for the old team, I'm thinking we shouldn't put it on sadpanda yet, just keep it here and on imgur, what do you guys think?
You can read Chinese too?
I can clean the raw and try to mend some torn parts. Do you have Photoshop or GIMP?
Two options for raws here: >>3818437 is bigger but pages are more skewed and there are black spaces. >3813246 is smaller, some of the art on pages isn't scanned, and colors are off but the pages are more aligned.
Chapter 2 used the scans by the group that did >>3818437, so I suggest we go with that, but like I said earlier in the thread I don't want to lose art in the process of removing the black spaces.
The font we used for word balloons last time was Wild Words, I don't know the other fonts.
And we're gonna reach autosage with 300 posts soon.
Yeah, I made sure to use all the honorifics I saw
I thought about demon, but I think the absurdity of the situation called for something a little more silly.
I've fixed my version to say "Sanaka" now after I doubled checked it. Probably because of a google translate mis-translation.
No I guess she's not just thinking that. I'll change it to “Hurry up and cum. I can't let Sanaka face something like this.”
Aya is no virgin :D . I think a better way of saying it would be “You did a pretty good job... for a virgin.”
Yes, I think she is implying about someone else taking Sanaka.
I guess she's not cumming, just getting off. “I'm getting off to a cherry-boy”
I figured that since she is a model maybe she actually likes her own back? Literally he is saying “This back is too erotic” and she says something like “I understand, backs are sexy. I love them to.” Maybe that's better?
It doesn't say what she is so impressed about, just that he is peerless in something.
Yes, after reading the chinese to english translated version and remembering the second chapter, yeah, he's talking about himself. Oops :P
Yeah, he says “this bitch.” Bitch is the term that they are using for pervert. It makes it sound kinda awesome, but out of character to use bitch instead of pervert. He never talks about himself being a pervert in this one, even though the chinese to english version has him doing that.
Yeah, the piston thing is probably him saying it. I mean, in the next frame she's starting to get really overwhelmed and maybe a bit scared. It'd be weird to be scared like that right after complementing on how rough he's being.
I can't read chinese, I was just going off of the chinese to english version.
I have photoshop, just need to reinstall it.
I can do a lot of the photoshop stuff myself once I get it reinstalled, but if you are more skilled by all means, get a head start on it.
Post your revised script first then I'll post my suggested revision of it, if it's alright.
We should coordinate. It's around 3:40 PM GMT. On weekdays I'm occupied until around 1 pm GMT, and available for around 3-4 hours, I'm free anytime weekends.
>I can do a lot of the photoshop stuff myself once I get it reinstalled, but if you are more skilled by all means, get a head start on it.
What do you feel you can't or don't want to do? I have no tablet so I can't redraw stuff that much and I get by with copy/paste.
Should I blank out the moans and other sound effect bubbles too? Two raw sets, >>3813246 or >>3816519?
>Yeah, I made sure to use all the honorifics I saw.
I noticed he uses both -chan and -san with Keika, is that right?
>Aya is no virgin :D . I think a better way of saying it would be “You did a pretty good job... for a virgin.”
You mean Keika.
>I figured that since she is a model maybe she actually likes her own back?
She is? In the first chapter the guys thought she just looked like one. Can you check the translation of the old chapters too, not just the new ones? There might be something we missed.
>Yeah, he says “this bitch.” Bitch is the term that they are using for pervert.
Even him in the second chapter? I've seen bitch used to mean slut but I don't think slut works as well as pervert here.
>I can't read chinese, I was just going off of the chinese to english version.
The text version or the combined one I did? The translator said his translation was crude and when I put it on the Chinese pages I took some liberties myself.
http://imgur.com/a/bcXdK - his
http://imgur.com/a/T18wu - mine
I plan to post the cleaned raw on there, my account has all the raws and translations of this story - http://zvqk.imgur.com/
>I've fixed my version to say "Sanaka" now after I doubled checked it. Probably because of a google translate mis-translation.
Uh oh, how did you use Google Translate? You did translate straight off the page?
I think the story went off the rails early. He's the only guy fucking all the girls one after the other. I was enjoying the shit out of the voyeuristic aspect of the first chapter and it threw that all away.
At least the art is great. the girls are varied and cute, and I love seeing girls penetrated by huge dicks in manga.
STOP REPOSTING THE SAME FUCKING PAGES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER
THE PREMISE AND ART STYLE IS HOT AS FUCK BUT I SWEAR TO SHIT THIS IS THE 12TH TIME WE'VE HAD THIS FUCKING THREAD AND IT IS ALWAYS THE SAME FUCKING PAGES REPOSTED WITH TRANSLATIONS OR WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER QUALITY OR SLIGHTLY LOWER QUALITY OR SOME BLOOM EFFECT ADDED
JUST POST THE NEW STUFF ONLY AND LET IT FUCKING REST GODAMN
I'll post that new script in just a bit here.
I can redraw a little, but it's not
The >>3813246 set probably would work better. The other one, though it is nice to have things darker and bigger, definitely loses detail.
I got photoshop reinstalled. I have a pretty nice touchscreen, but I've never used it for art before and I don't have a stylus. I've been using photoshop for art for quite some time now so I think I can do a little redrawing.
I used a combination of like 15 sites to translate this.
For what I couldn't read outright I sent through sentence by sentence, then parsed as individual words, then checked the meaning of some of the kanji on denshi jisho, then used the Jaded Network to look up some of the onomatopoeia, and about a dozen other websites for grammar. I've been living in Japan for about 6 months now, but my kanji is still pretty bad.
Ooops. My mistake, that was supposed to be a “-san”
Yes, I meant to say that Keika is no virgin.
I guess I was remembering the first chapter wrong. It kinda sucks that I was just poring over this chapter over and over again with out translating at first. My brain just kinda made up back stories for everything all by itself.
No, he uses “sukebe” for himself and they both use “bitch” for her. And yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking, slut just didn't sound right. I thought about nymphomaniac or nympho, but even though the word doesn't imply any actual sex going on, most people would probably think it sounds that way.
I took your combined version, not the text version.
Google translate was spitting it out as Sayaka, not Sanaka. Even denshi jisho puts it out as “Sayaka” I think chapters 1 and 2 have it wrong. I looked up that kanji by itself and it doesn't seem to have the “na” sound associated with it. The only other way I think it can be said would be “Sakaka” and that sounds funny. I had just assumed that the first two chapters were right.
I think probably the best course of action here is to erase all of the text in speech bubbles and boxes and maybe a few of the really easy SFX and typeset this ASAP. Since there will be a tankoubon eventually there's no reason to put out a ton of effort into redrawing a ton crap. I'll just put the translations for the difficult-to-clean sfx in the margins.
Welp, autosage. New thread? Sorry I couldn't post yesterday.
You prefer the >>3813246 set? It crops out part of the art... what if I just clean both sets then you choose.
>Google translate was spitting it out as Sayaka, not Sanaka. Even denshi jisho puts it out as “Sayaka” I think chapters 1 and 2 have it wrong. I looked up that kanji by itself and it doesn't seem to have the “na” sound associated with it.
Oh dear... We got the name from the French translation and nobody brought up issues with it until now.
For these and other reasons I think this should be a separate gallery from our old one on sadpanda if this gets there.
Is it alright if I clean that up a bit? Not going to contest the gist of your translation, just grammar and stuff. Like "erotic and arousing" is redundant.
You up for doing the other chapters?
If you want a credits page I guess you can leave me off it or just call me Anonymous, but I want to help out with this story until it's finished or a more formal group picks it up.
All right, getting on erasing the text. But spelling out the sfx phonetically, don't you prefer just "moaning", "sucking", "pounding", etc.
And yes, the tankoubon will hopefully be the final word on this.
I liked that line too, but the problem was that google translate was spitting いいとこ out as "cherry" (really should have been spitting it out as cherry picking). The sentence is saying that his coming (not cumming) and his hitting are his good points.
If these aren't cleaned enough, fix them up more but at least you don't have to do everything from scratch.
I'm starting to consider doing the next chapters. I really don't like chapter 4 very much. For reasons mentioned by other people here several hundred times. “Really? Mega-dick-sex-god again?”
Yeah, gimme your recommendations for changes to the script. That's on the pastebin, right?
For credits, I mean, you're definitely helping so would “Other guy” work for you?
For the sfx, some of the ones like “chu” I'll leave as “chu”, “biku” I'll change to “twitch”. I'll leave the more obvious one's as the phonetics but the obscure ones I'll do as a translation.
The fonts. Hmmm. I'll use wild words of course, but for the others I don't know yet. I'll figure that out in a little bit.
Thanks so much for the cleaned up stuff! That'll save me a lot of work. I'm sure I'll also fix up a spot here or there, but that's looking really good. I still want to go with the cutoff scans, I'd rather loose a little around the edges than loose detail all over the image.
Pardon my slowness.
Okay, let's just go with this set, but I'll still prepare the other set in case I try to do it with the other set... at least for personal use. Who's going to put this on sadpanda?
By texture, you mean the little dots right? Problem is the black levels aren't dark enough so the page texture shows in their hair and stuff, apart from the texture in the artwork. Oh well.
About the punctuation, let's stick to it when possible - if it uses (?!) and (...) don't change it, as long as it looks good. But (!) can replace periods, as long as it fits in context, like for emphasis when they're aroused enough, etc.
If you can use the same fonts as the earlier ones that would be great but I don't know what they are apart from Wild Words.
To be honest I don't like the direction it's taken either, besides just one guy getting all the action, I wish there was more focus on casual nudity like the first and second chapters, but I helped with the first ones so I want to help until it's done.
You'll notice that I took the liberty of adding a box with his name here in the beta version >>3821294
Keika didn't have a box with her name unlike the other two girls so I added one for her >>3821300
then I went back and added one for Naotatsu.
If you can find a way to do the same it would be nice, but there's the problem of the black levels.
I actually said "detail" not "texture", but what I mean, you can see in Aya's eyes on page 3 frames 3 and 4. Between the two different raws you can see a loss of detail due to the increased contrast.
Honestly, though, it shouldn't take me more than 40 minutes to typeset a second version. All I have to do is some minor realignment and the typesetting will match.
I'm reluctant to be credited for cleaning because someone else was the cleaner last time. Maybe they might feel betrayed if they find out... Script qc/editing is fine though.
Good point about the detail.
And it's generous of you to offer to do this twice. The fonts have to be a little bigger also though.
About sadpanda, maybe the current set can go on sadpanda and in the comment section we just link to the alternate one somewhere like imgur?
I'l just clean this set first, maybe post the other set when it's all finished. I'm doing it page by page now.
If I think of some more suggestions for the script, the pastebin url stays the same so I'll announce it.
What about those tiny bubbles in the first panel?
>you to offer to do this twice. The fonts have to be a little bigger also though.
Sure. I've not visited sad panda much. Honestly I've never hosted a whole chapter of a manga before aside from being a direct download.
Here is the 3rd version of the 3rd chapter translation script http://pastebin.com/QB7jgu9F
I wont have to use a larger font, because I can just use photoshop to select all of the text layers, then increase their sizes all at the same time proportionally, then rotate the image to match.
And some notes on this new script:
He's literally saying that he should practice in here, not with her. Maybe it would sound better like this:
“How about you practice in me?”
And for “A real pounding... at it's best” she is literally saying that coming (not cumming) and hitting are his strong suit, one of his good points, a quality of his. Maybe it should be “Pounding like this... It must be your strong-suit!”
You don't "have sex in" someone, so it has to be "with". Or "practice on me". "With me" emphasizes they're going to be sex partners, "on me" emphasizes that she's going to be his partner. I think "on me" is closer to the original meaning and is naughtier but "with me" is more... intimate?
How about: “Pounding like this... you're great at it!"
Or since she's giving him sex pointers: “Pounding like this... It has to be your strong suit!” (no hyphen)
"You just keep on moving" feels a little bland, so I'd spice it up to "thrusting" because that's how he moves. But we already have pounding.
I'd put "me" or "into me" somewhere also to spice it up, but I guess it's not needed if she's giving him general sex advice instead of just talking about their sex session.
But is the sentence really that short in Japanese? It's surprising how some are shorter compared to the Chinese to English one. Was that just because of guesswork? The first translator admitted he didn't know that much Chinese and winged some of it. In the Chinese to English one, there's something about it being his first time and the practice being good for him.
Can you check the translations for the old ones? If you tell me the fonts you used, I can redo them if there's a need, at least I got practice with the Chinese to English one. Besides Sanaka/Sayaka. I hope Sanaka is correct because of familiarity.
In chapter 1 and 2, the sensei was using real English words like cock and erection so we thought of using those words only for her, the students say dick and boner/hard-on.
I noticed you used erection a few times, how does the raw say it?
I added those recommendations to my translation.
Made a static link this time http://pastebin.com/as7JtjDs
It's definitely not Sanaka. It's either Sayaka or Sakaka. And Sakaka would be really weird.
The reason the translation links might be wrong is because I forgot the notation for panel 5 of page 13 so it looked like panel 4 was super long. I've fixed that.
In this chapter the students are using the japanese word for erection. Seems kind of weird for the students to say something slang like boner or hard-on when they are using the proper term for it while their teacher is using the foreign language.
Also, maybe I should start cleaning from the last page so that we get this done faster?
>Also, maybe I should start cleaning from the last page so that we get this done faster?
I asked the people on the sadpanda forum about her name (http://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?showtopic=170572) and I got:
"Her name is 末森紗那, a Google search shows that 紗那 is usually read as either Sana or Shana"
,,,Yikes. I'll just go with Sayaka.
"That was awesome" is Naotatsu speaking right? In the beta I thought Keika said it.
I'll go over the script again later but the final say falls to you.
The url stays the same if you make it with an account and you're the one editing it. if you edit that more, the url will change.
>"That was awesome" is Naotatsu speaking right? In the beta I thought Keika said it.
That's what I thought it meant, too. Maybe I can word that differently to indicate who is speaking.
>The url stays the same if you make it with an account and you're the one editing it. if you edit that more, the url will change.
Yes, I made an account before posting the second time.
I really should have done the text erasing as soon as the raws arrived...
For the Chinese to English beta, I thought Keika was saying the last line in the previous page because of her sudden reveal, I imagined she had entered unnoticed while Aya was sucking him off.
Keika is revealed rather suddenly, so I'd have Aya say something like "Ah?! Keika!" instead of plain "Keika", to make it less jarring.
Again with the much shorter line compared to the beta about Aya being a virgin. No "but you did your best".
"Shut up" could be "Oh/Ah shut up!", added it for emphasis. Not really crucial.
The first lead editor wanted to make sure they talk normally, not too stiff as is the case if we're too literal. If "I thought as much" sounds a little stiff, it can be "That's what I thought." Just nitpicking again.
Posted comments, forgot page
So who is speaking there?
Don't know for absolute certain, but I think it's Keika.
Man, this is one of the problems I have with Japanese comics, it's so often up to the reader to figure out who is talking.
Yeah it might be her. Let's have her say "Aya" or "Aya-chan" to show it's not Naotatsu, since he uses Kotegawa.
After my next page I'm gonna do some chores first, back in a while.
What if all the "going to" changed to "gonna", they have to talk like teens.
Dropped to page 5 already, so if this thread becomes unpostable/auto archived before we clean all the pages, I'll just post my share on imgur.
Frick, I just put Aya's name into denshi jisho and it's saying it's "Ayame"
At least "Keika" is right, it was one of the few names I checked starting out.
Also, Keika alway's uses Ayame's name without honorifics.
"It will be the first time for both of you" by itself sounds odd to me since Keika can't know that his dick will stay hard after she's had sex with him.
Her full train of thought is "If you two do get into a relationship and have sex, it will be the first time for both of you" So maybe, make it clearer that Keika thinks he and Sayaka will have sex in the first chapter.
Sayaka "disappearing right before your eyes " still sounds odd to me, maybe it's too literal, but what's an alternative rephrasing? As you said, she's saying that Sayaka likes him but if he doesn't make a move he might lose the opportunity.
None of the textless pages are there yet though.
Will be back, you can post pages you've cleaned.
>ull train of thought is "If you two do get into a relationship and have sex, it will be the first time for both of you" So maybe, make it clearer that Keika thinks he and Sayaka will have sex in the first chapter.
She does say earlier "No matter how many times... We can't keep up, huh?"
And she doesn't seem surprised when he's still hard at the end.
The fuck? Weird. Yeah, we should stick with Sanaka then. Plus, there's tons of characters out there named Sayaka. It would be nice to have a less common name.
"Sex with Ueda-san" could be "Sex with you, Ueda-san", We already changed "Me and Nagato-kun" to "You and me, Nagato-kun".
I also suggest we switch the sentence order, again it sounds a little odd as is, so it goes like: I'm having sex?! Sex with you, Ueda-san?!
Yeah, I'll fix up that AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sorry if I erase too much of the sound effects. If you want to keep some parts like exclamation points, maybe copy-paste them?
Left the bottom part untouched for now, they're both cumming and I don't know how you're going to represent orgasm sounds.
As long as erasing the effect doesn't make the picture look bad, go ahead and erase as many as you want.
Might take a crack at removing those huge characters in the first panel later, more pages first. It was holding me up.
You're doing page 25? I'll just do page 24 then go through the script again.
There's a big yell there with a textured background I didn't touch, sorry
When we're past the script editing stage and on to the final typesetting, people will want to see those pages, so we should move to a new thread by then.
I'm still going to clean the other set and post that here and on imgur if this is unpostable before I finish. Or maybe you could help with that again after we get this set into English, if you're still not tired...
I'm going to clean chapter 4 too and post it here (or the new thread?) If this thread lasts, it should just go under the image limit of 250.
You plan on using all caps Wild Words or with lowercase? Wild Words Lowercase has some capital letters different from Wild Words. Like the big I, I think.
Try keep words/names complete without hyphenating them, that's what we did for the earlier ones.
>Anyone is fine. So, Ayame... COME IN!
Does sensei say "come in" in English? We might have to do that in a different font with a TL note.
Last time we made pages with and without different fonts for her English.
Also does she end any sentence with ne?
Who's saying this, Sanaka or Sensei? Because Sensei uses Ayame right after.
If Sanaka's saying it (she's reacting in the bottom right panel) it should convey surprise with ?!
Upon checking the archive, we used Arial Rounded MT Bold for her English words.
Two versions again, if it's all right? Just one page now, unlike last time where it was like, six?
Well English always has some punctuation... Western punctuation was borrowed by the Japanese anyway lol.
Pastebin coming soon.
OK. I gotta go to bed. It's 2am here. Here's a taste of my typesetting. I'll post whatever I can get done tomorrow.