Nudist beach ni shūgakuryokō de!!
by Shiwasu no Okina
Translation thread 5
Previous thread, almost full:
Links to first 2 threads there too.
Chapters 1 and 2 English
Chapter 3 Japanese
Chapter 3 Chinese
Typesetting chapter 3 now.
Thanks to the group that translated it earlier and thanks to the person that translated it from Chinese to English. It was nice to have two separate translations to compare to each other.
I've been thinking, it's nice that you're redrawing stuff but I wonder what the sound effects mean in Japanese.
Sound effects for sex are easy to understand but for most non-Japanese readers Ba and Zawa won't mean anything. Maybe put translations if they can be found?
Aya's hair strand could be thicker, the one below the top right.
It's nice that you got the phonetic meanings for sound effects but... what if we just convert them to English style, either real words like "shock", "suck", "thrust" or sound effects that are easier to understand in English?
I realized I just haven't seen a lot of manga done with spelled out sfx in English. Translations in the margins, yes...
Anyway, everyone's welcome to comment, what do you guys think?
The handjob part could use fap
The oral part would use suck
Breathing and vocal sounds are the same
Don't know if this is a bad idea so input from others is welcome.
I'm reading this atm: http://www.hellodamage.com/top/2005/12/17/x-rated-manga-sound-effects/
Last time we just left the sfx alone except for moans and some shouts/laughing, but you can do it your own way. I'm just concerned about how good it will look, how well it reads.
Maybe write the sound effects with asterisks *like this*, or with tildes ~ ?
The original sound changes as the dick gets more covered in precum and as she changes her rhythm. I wasn't sure what else to do other than modify "fap" any other ideas? Because it's not just fap over and over again 30 times.
That was precum, jeez I thought it was lotion.
Maybe fap... fap... at first, switch to fap! fap! and fapfapfap... later, and maybe squish when it's very wet? I'm stumped.
How does it look with Japanese sfx? Maybe keep the characters marked with "fapping"
Yeah, squish, that's a good one. I'll go back and put that in.
Well, we have no choice but to reuse some terms a lot, or just not translate some sfx.
Maybe to represent her breathing, let's have her mumble a bit, like "hmph" or "ohh". I imagine her vocalizing a bit after every breath. Too odd?
To make things faster what if you just post all the pages with no interruptions, get feedback then change them later if/as needed? I'm lurking but going to clean up pages first.
It would be great if more people gave feedback.
>looks like that? The spacing between So/Hurry isn't the same as Hurry/And and And/Me
Sure thing. I'm going so slow because this manga is totally hot. But also because I'm doing some redrawing.
Just as well, I unexpectedly got tied up with other stuff again, not sure how often or long I can still lurk today. And next day is Monday here so I'll be unavailable until around 1 pm GMT, then only for 3-4 hours till I have to sleep. Same for the whole week until the weekend. Just go at your own pace, I'm just cleaning stuff at my own too. Will upload the textless pages for the other chapter 3 and chapter 4 to imgur eventually, but might be slow. I'm not off this project until I say so myself.
I do think the typesetting could be a little more "boxy" in some parts, following the example of the English chapter 1 and 2, like the top right of >>3826021
I have to see what you did with redraws for all of this set, but for the other set, I think only that panel in page 11 → → really cries out for redrawing. I think we can keep more of the sfx kanji for the other set, so it's really an alternative version, and so you won't have as much to do.
So that you don't get tired of this chapter because of double the redraws, I could also try typesetting the other set if you want. Using your script of course, but the typesetting would look more like the Chinese to English one with properly replaced or translated sfx, I was lazy there and didn't replace anything. So while I'm doing that, you can start working on the chapter 4 translation if that's fine. And if in the future chapter 4 gets another similar scan to the other set, I can typeset that too.
It's almost November so chapter 5 raw might be out soon. >>3825826 Even if this ends with a class orgy, Naotatsu will have made enemies....
I'm getting close to finished with chapter 3 redraws and type setting.
The current English images available were Japanese to Chinese to English translations and both leave out a lot of things and add in a lot of things that just aren't there.
And my final reason: Chapter 4 sucks.
I might still consider doing it, but I don't really know if I want to.
>I'm getting close to finished with chapter 3 redraws and type setting.
Have to catch up erasing/cleaning the raws then...
>I might still consider doing it, but I don't really know if I want to.
Sorry that it's a drag, I'm feeling much the same but I want to know how the story ends beyond just guessing what they say.
I guess I can take over everything but translating if the story tires you... that's the one thing I can't learn in a short time.
I'm also not liking how just one guy is doing the girls in the same place, but the girls all seem to have their own motivations and that I like. Just hoping yet again that the other guys will get some action by the end.
it's not going to let me repost the ones that haven't been changed so you'll just have to jump around :(
I dont remember which one's I've changed either so some of 2-6 might be old versions.
It's not really an issue. When I put it up on sadpanda it will be all the latest versions. At this point they are here for suggestions and comments.
the art is great and really erotic but it's a shame he is forced to white out the good parts.. It's a damn travesty and I cannot support this manga... But a bump anyway OP just wanted to say that please excuse me.
It will be way less censored once the tankoubon comes out. If Aibuka (by the same artist) is any indication, the final version of the censorship will be just a few very thin white lines per frame. Something that would be relatively easy to redraw.
Ah! Nice, thanks. I'm not done erasing from the alternate raw yet, 12 pages to go, but working as fast as I can right now. You basically erased all the kanji in balloons right?
Good to know there's a grace period.
Oh you used that? It should be the same size. I can do it.
I was also part of the ch. 1 to 2 team. And don't bother crediting me with Jap - Ch - Eng for chapter 3. It's only posted here on /h/ and imgur, and the imgur gallery it's hosted on is private, only accessible from the link on /h/.
I'm still erasing from the raws, I'm uploading slowly on http://imgur.com/a/vBHfl, internet is slow dammit
When I say they're done you can transfer the typesetting at your leisure, once we're clear with that too. So, everyone we need your comments and suggestions about this.
Other chapter 3 raw, text boxes/balloons blank - http://imgur.com/a/vBHfl
The scan team just released it on sadpanda, finally.
Chapter 4 raw, same - http://imgur.com/a/oS04X
Only 12/20 of the pages with stuff erased but will post the rest in there and go over this in my spare time.
Whoops, erased the post to add stuff
They did their own Aun scan - http://exhentai.org/s/0965b873d2/751952-34
So I expect they will scan chapter 4 their way also.
Aren't you gonna do the other raw first?
Here's a credits page of the same size. Will have the rest of textless chapter 4 up on imgur shortly.
As you saw from the Ch-Eng "beta" we have different typesetting styles but that's okay, it's your call. Just going to comment on word choice, etc.
We went through these already
I hope you change >>3825931 fapsh fapsh, it's super odd. Maybe wank wank?
Pant - just one "heavy breathing"? Sigh? The problem is her mouth isn't open.
Change chk-lit, sounds super odd. Chap sounds painful (chapped lips). Change both to fwap?
Second "Kotegawa" needs punctuation.
"You're gonna cum, you're gonna calm down, and then I can get back to Sanaka" - one long sentence so it shouldn't have spacing.
"Wai... Oh. Oh! Ko-- Ah. Ah! Ah! Ah!" - punctuation
Since Keika used "Aya" for short in the first chapter I wish she'd use it while she's talking to Ayame, but not with Naotatsu. Just for consistency.
Was hoping you'd use "getting intimate with" instead of "getting close to" since it leads into "first time sex" better, but if it's too far, never mind.
Chap again... maybe whap?
"You have excellent stamina!", exclamation point like her other lines on the page.
Stab - Ew, boner-killer, man, too violent to be sexy. Thrust is enough.
Schlup is fine but it could work as a blowjob sound too.
Flip - flick is fine, nipples can't be flipped. Tease?
Me too, I'm gonna cum too!
Maybe add H to her AAAAs when she's touching herself
Think the hyphen should always be attached to the name, not san/chan/etc. Hyphen before line break always.
one heart missing an e
We got the anatomy wrong, arteries allow plural.
no commas in sfx - thump! thump! If it's the double beating of her heart, thump-thump with hyphen?
name hyphen then line break again.
Left side panels, there's a long scan line running through both their faces. I can remove that if we're clear with the dialogue, if you don't want to.
I'm also seeing a lot of specks and stuff that we missed in the cleaning but sometimes I don't know if they're part of the artwork...
Because the method of accessing the site is secret and people don't want to spread it around.
But because I'm super awesome, I'll give you a crucial hint that might help you figure it out, or otherwise lead to the method of accessing the site:
That's it. Be creative with your searches.
OK. I made the changes and uploaded it.
I'll work on the other version tomorrow probably.
I bought Comic Aun 2014-12. I'll read it tonight. I don't have a scanner, but I can photograph it and upload a shitty photograph version of chapter 5.
I think I need to try panorama mode, or maybe I need to use my actual camera instead of a phone. Or maybe there's a scanner app that will work a little better?
So you don't have to wait, here's the credits page for Ch. 3 using the other raw.
Free today much earlier than usual. Then it's the weekend.
>Oliver not familiar with tripcodes
So he doesn't come here. And it seems he's getting someone to decensor the chapters.
He also doesn't know about the other darker raw. Will you crop the black parts out of the pages? We'd lose some top and bottom art again...
The best place to read this is still your gallery, you get points in case you want to download stuff directly. Still, I uploaded it to my imgur account.
https://twitter.com/siwasunookina/media has some more previews, posting them here and at http://imgur.com/a/MJcCn
I got a scanning application for my phone so the quality is a little better with a lot less effort. Got it all scanned a lot faster than I was.
wild words and then use other fonts for yelling
find tons of fonts here: http://www.hentairules.net/index.php?s=fonts
Thanks for going the extra mile.
Man, they didn't even show the outside of the tent this time. Also one chapter for three friends then one and a half for two friends? Well if this means the series goes on longer it's alright with me.
>>3829062 was me without the trip on
Yeah I think they are larger. At least they aren't too big. They look pretty big in chapter 1, and a little smaller in chapter 3. But really huge in chapter 5.
So here is my attempted translation of chapter 4 page 1.
I'm sure I'll modify it as I understand more of the chapter and as people suggest changes.
The awkward atmosphere after doing it...
I'm really sorry, everyone!!
For things like looking at the girls too much and being all selfish.
You must all be thinking these kinds of things.
It's quite troublesome that I'm the only one getting an erection from all the girls.
I guess so.
His dick... is all wet!!
It couldn't be?!
He had sex with her?
Inside that tent. She and...
Had sex?! They did it?!
If I can get an erection, too... Maybe I... with a girl...
On the beach. Doing it by yourself is out of the question!
W-well then!! Since we can't touch ourselves, there's no choice but to get erections naturally by staring at the girls!!
I Love Naruko Hanaharu!!
Little off topic there, dude. I love Naruko Hanaharu, too, and that manga is one that hasn't been translated yet, I think. But post it here at your own risk, it's off topic and also has shota.
Sweet! Sorry I'm slow with the other chapter 3, but it's coming.
Suggestions for >>3829882 >>3830289 >>3830443:
That awkward vibe after doing it...
I'm really sorry, everyone!!
For stuff like looking at the girls too much and being all selfish!
You must all be thinking these kinds of things.
It must be quite hard that I'm the only one who got an erection with all the girls here.
(or) With all the girls here, it must be quite hard that I'm the only one who got an erection.
>Troublesome is a bit too stiff for me. Annoying? Frustrating? I chose hard because of wordplay
>It looks to me like he's mainly addressing the boys, but we could make it more inclusive if that's wrong.
I guess so...
His dick... It's all wet!!
It can't be?!
He had sex with her?!
Inside that tent... She... Ohh!!
They had sex?! They did it?!
If I can get an erection too... Maybe I and a girl...
>If the Japanese terms used for "erection" aren't as formal as "erection" is in English, we can use boner/hard-on again.
On the beach, masturbating out in the open is out of the question!
>Since there's the tent, if it's private it's okay heh.
>What does the big sfx above her mean?
W-Well then!! Since we can't touch ourselves, there's no choice but to get erections just by looking!!
>Touching yourself is also "natural" so I just dropped it, along with "the girls" to include Sensei, I think they're looking at her too.
I'll pore over this later.
One thing I can say though, is in all of the translation I've done so far, every time I said "erection" they used the actual kanji for it and not slang. When I've translated it as something different its because they said "chinpo" "chinko" or something else like that. So far I havent seen any slang from the students for the actual erection, just when they are talking about penises in general.
this drink service is sick!
Hahh hahh hahh
Her pussy is showing!
Why does no one have an erection?!
Of course it's him!!
Jyuina? Kiyona? (衣 doesnt have a "yo" pronunciation, so I don't know where the first translaters got that)
Rub, rub, rub
Is it ready?
Leave it to me.
A chanse like this is rare.
You and I, Kiyona-tan, we'll help him cum together. Hang in there!
beat, beat, beat
>Jyuina? Kiyona? (衣 doesnt have a "yo" pronunciation, so I don't know where the first translaters got that)
Relevant page: http://exhentai.org/s/007c9f44c6/731139-29
We had Inui's name as Shizuha last time, so we had it wrong?
We just got all the names straight from the French version of 1-2 and they passed with no comment.
We might as well redo the first two chapters sometime to make it more accurate as needed. It would be nice if you could also review the raws for those, sfx meanings/spellings included. I could do the rest so you won't be burdened as much.
I meant the boys.
kiss x 4
pah! (ending the kiss or a big smack, not sure)
Amazing! (She's really slurring her speech here)
The kiss wasn't bad?!
Who would have thought that our manga-buddy, Naotatsu-kyun, would be involved in this kind of sexual situation?
Come on! (Literally she says "More kiss... kiss")
Smack (its a rather wet kiss)
hah, hah, hah
chuku, chururu, churun (tongues rubbing together)
churururu (sucking on a tongue while letting it come out of his mouth)
kiss x 4
Mistake here. I read "direct service" as "drink service" which seemed to work, when really it was Naotatsu's name in a font I hadn't seen before. They used that font in chapter 1. The first kanji is missing entire strokes in different fonts.
licking x 3
loud licking! x3
noooooooooo (heart) kissing is sooooo goooood. (she doesnt actually have a heart here, but I think I'll add one, there is another 2 hearts in the frame and she is saying 'no' in a really teasing way)
Shizuha-tan, too. Let's kiss together!
ahii (she's kinda losing it here.)
But most of them don't even have boyfriends... or husbands... or lovers... what are you talking about? Who is he taking the girls from? At worst he is just "stealing a march" as the Brits say.
I'm still not sure what she means in the first bubble. She says "detakore" which could be "deta" and "kore" in katakana for emphasis, or it could mean "Data-core" and be a reference to a videogame, in which case, I'm totally lost.
Suzuha-tan, your REAL man has finally appeared, concrete and solid before you.
Suzuha-tan, don't you usually you lead me towards the manly girls? What's the big deal?
That said, there is a REAL man stuck in here with us.
It's OK!! That man is visible, right infront of us, and he is absolutely fascinating because erotic things are fascinating!!
What... support? (Naotatsu says this in the background)
It's all good. Right Nogi-san?
It might be difficult for you to say it. But, really... I will stop immediately if it is too much for you.
>Suzuha-tan, don't you usually you lead me towards the manly girls? What's the big deal?
I took out the extra, "you" here.
>What... support? (Naotatsu says this in the background)
I'm not sure, but I think he might be saying that Suzuha can just give support, she doesn't need to be directly involved. But there's a lot of missing info. All he says is:
Which could mean:
How about support?
>Who would have thought that our manga-buddy, Naotatsu-kyun, would be involved in this kind of sexual situation?
She really says kun like kyun?
More kissing! or Kiss me more!
>Shizuha-tan, too. Let's kiss together!
Shizuha-tan, you too. Let's kiss him together!
>Suzuha-tan, don't you usually lead me towards the manly girls?
What does this mean, are they bi?
>your REAL man has finally appeared, concrete and solid before you!!
Needs some tweaking, having both "concrete and solid" are redundant, one will do.
As I understand it she means real and true, not fake. Maybe repeat real again? Legit?
"Your REAL man has finally appeared before you, and he's the real thing/genuine article!!"
>That man is visible, right in front of us, and he is absolutely fascinating because erotic things are fascinating!!
"See, that man's right in front of us! He's so erotic! And he's absolutely fascinating, because erotic things are fascinating!!"
>It might be difficult for you to say it. But, really... I will stop immediately if it is too much for you.
It might be hard for you to say it. But, really... I'll stop at once if it's too much for you.
If your guess is right:
So... you'll just help her out? / Well then... you'll just urge her on?
Wait, aren't we confusing their names?
In parts 1-2, twintails is Shizuha and chubby sidetail is Kiyona or however that's spelled. They seem to be switched here?
http://imgur.com/a/D7R8l has part 3 English on the other raw, but just a few pages right now. I'm working with GIMP, as Photoshop says I'm missing some fonts so I can't edit the psds directly. What did you use besides wild words and goldfish?
http://imgur.com/a/3VgOn has all the sketches/previews for this series from SnO's twitter, should be up to date.
Finally, http://imgur.com/a/xKnk9 is a mirror of English part 3 on the first raw.
>She really says kun like kyun?
>What does this mean, are they bi?
I kept looking at this one over and over again, trying to figure out what it means. Maybe this makes more sense:
“Suzuha-tan, aren't you that 'manly' girl that usually takes the lead and pulls me along? What's the big deal?”
>Wait, aren't we confusing their names?
Yeah, they were right in the first two chapters. Also, I keep spelling Shizuha wrong, sometimes Suzuha and sometimes Shuzuha. Yeah, that's what all this proofreading is for. Thank goodness for people like you ;)
Normally I transcribe the entire speech bubble before trying to translate it since the manga fonts can be funny and it it's also nice to be able to quickly shove it back into an online translator. This time I didn't so I was just reading the names wrong.
>http://imgur.com/a/D7R8l has part 3 English on the other raw, but just a few pages right now. I'm working with GIMP, as Photoshop says I'm missing some fonts so I can't edit the psds directly. What did you use besides wild words and goldfish?
Hmmm. None that I can think of. I installed Oliver's font pack from hentai rules and the arial one that you sent me. But I don't remember using any other fonts.
>I installed Oliver's font pack from hentai rules
Hmm, will try that. I'm trying to do the pages as fast as I can, just got some IRL stuff in the way.
I'm resizing and copy-pasting the text and sfx redraws individually.
I hope I finish it before someone decensors the other raw or something, or else I can try copy-pasting those redraws too.
>aren't you that 'manly' girl that usually takes the lead and pulls me along
Yeah, makes sense with the bokukko/orekko label they had earlier.
(Explained in TL note of http://exhentai.org/s/007c9f44c6/731139-29, I just learned about those through this)
>they were right in the first two chapters.
So the chubbier one is Kiyona (spelling?), then the line could be:
“Kiyona-tan, aren't you the tomboy who usually takes the lead and pulls me along? What's the big deal?”
Tomboy substitutes for "manly girl". Or since they're both tomboyish due to bokukko/orekko:
“Kiyona-tan, don't you usually act all manly, taking the lead and pulling me along? What's the big deal?"
If "What's the big deal" sounds too strong, it could also be "what's the matter"
what about detakore?
I don't know what it means. Not really.
>what's the big deal?
She seems pretty miffed, I'd say she's being pretty scathing with her comments.
slip, slide, rub, slimy, (something like that) x3
chubu (another kissing sound, probably intense sucking)
Well then. Naotatsu-kyun. What do you want to do with us?
Twitch, poke, (something like that)
Your tits have a very different feel to each of my hands!!
What is this?! It's outrageous!!
Though Inui has a baby-face, her style is great.
Squeeze, touch, etc x6
Her breasts are pretty big and the shape of her body is excellent.
Nogi-san's skin has an spledid weight to it and it's white and soft like mocchi.
You getting pretty excited, huh Naotatsu-kyun?
If you want to do other things, just name them!!
>Well then. Naotatsu-kyun. What do you want to do with us?
Well then, Naotatsu-kyun. What do you wanna do with us?
- A bit confused here, he talks about their bodies in general, not just their breasts?
- Changed to second-person direct address, literal way sounds off in English
>Your tits have a very different feel to each of my hands!!
Your tits/boobs feel very different!
- Not so literal here because mentioning hands felt redundant to me, hands are used to feel.
- Also I don't think we used tits in ch 1-2? Just for consistency.
>Though Inui has a baby-face, her style is great.
Inui, you may be baby-faced but your body is all woman.
- not Inui-san?
>Her breasts are pretty big and the shape of her body is excellent.
Your breasts are pretty big and you have a shapely body!
- Though aren't nice breasts (of whatever size) already part of a "shapely" female body?
- Also, shapely = attractive, excellent shape = fit, not the same so what to do?
>Nogi-san's skin has an spledid weight to it and it's white and soft like mocchi.
Nogi-san, your breasts have a splendid weight to them, and your skin is white and soft like mochi!! (since he's feeling her breasts)
Nogi-san, your breasts have a splendid weight to them, and your skin is white and soft. They're like mochi!!" (last part referring to her breasts)
Nogi-san, your breasts have a splendid weight to them, and they're white and soft like mochi!! (replaced skin with breasts)
- If sentences are too long, like mouthfuls, we can break them up.
- To me, "breasts have a splendid weight to them" sounds nice but a little too formal for a highschool guy even if he's the class rep.
- Maybe "breasts are nice and heavy" or "nice and solid"? Might be going too far now.
>You getting pretty excited, huh Naotatsu-kyun?
You're getting pretty excited, huh Naotatsu-kyun?
>If you want to do other things, just name them!!
- Already fine but could be
If you want to do other stuff, just say what!!
Chapter 5, scanned in 2400p width by whoever did 3 and 4 first:
The guys at mikocon will probably scan 4 and 5 in bigger size but they'll release weeks later.
I am sooo behind with their scan of 3, yikes. Trying to get a perfect match with the other scan's typesetting so it's taking some time.
But I'll start preparing these new pages too.
Since you have the real pages, how do the scans compare? Pages cropped, parts not scanned?
They lost a bit of a finger on page 3
Page 5 is a terrible page to begin with. The printing goes all the way back to the spine on the book. Even I can't see it all properly.
Few missing fingers on page 6 frame 1.
Page 11 is missing the right border on frame 1.
Page 17 is missing a bit of the tanned girl's arm and some of her leg, but not much else.
Also, it is getting hard for me to post here, being in Japan and all, most IPs are banned here.
>Also, it is getting hard for me to post here, being in Japan and all, most IPs are banned here.
Oh dear... is browsing restricted too? In case you can't post here anymore, I made a new email so we can continue - [email protected]
Since we both have sadpanda accounts you can also PM me at http://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?act=Msg&CODE=4&MID=1103315
Should I also make something like an IRC channel for live chat? I can keep the thread alive in any case.
guys i need confirmation, it is true that shiwasu no okina is a woman? she is one of the most talented and perverted mangakas in the hentaidom, incredible atrt and almost everything is old fat man with cute lolis or some kind of rape, is the mind behind all this a girl?!
I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that mangaupdates is a journalistic stronghold that only publishes carefully verified and always factually correct information, and never ever makes a mistake.
Even if it was "confirmed" Japanese marketing has no problem with making up convincing lies to sell shit. If I was making hentai I would say I was a girl because it would sell more.
" The manga-ka, Shiwasu no Okina, a woman from Yamaguchi Prefecture, was interviewed on TV due to the popularity of the doujinshi. She was a fan of Hello! Project back when she began making the doujinshi. While she has recently gotten an interest in the idol group Momoiro Clover, she still is a fan of GAM and W. ""
this seems like a good piece of evidence, people in japan even see her face, not just her back
I'll let you know if things get too bad that I can't post at all.
I'm really giving a boob-job?
Nyuchi (generic sex sound) x3
Woah! This a totally new sensation! Amazing!
Zu! x4 (slide)
Nogi-san, thank you!
Your huge breasts are sandwitching down on me!
This feeling... It's going up... Exponentially!!
nyupu x4 (another generic fucking sound, probably wetter sounding than previous one)
This is getting serious!
He's staring at my crotch! At my pussy!!
spread (I assume, couldn't find a translation)
spread (again, I assume)
M-m-m-m-m-My pussy... What do you think? Is it exciting?
Piyah?! (surprised scream)
Nooooooh... Don't do that!
This is bad!
Naotatsu eating me out feels too good!
(Can you rename this to remove the "/h/"?)
>I'm really giving a boob-job?
I'm really giving him a titjob...
(Boob job also means breast surgery, so I suggest we change it)
>Nogi-san, thank you!
Thank you, Nogi-san!
>Your huge breasts are sandwitching down on me!
Your huge breasts are sandwiching me in!
>This feeling... It's going up... Exponentially!!
This sensation... It's rising/increasing... Exponentially!!
>M-m-m-m-m-My pussy... What do you think? Is it exciting?
M-M-My pussy... What do you think? Is it exciting/arousing? // Does it excite/arouse you?
(capitals; maybe tone down the stutter to three/four Ms, too much looks weird to me)
>Naotatsu eating me out feels too good!!
Naotatsu's eating me out... It feels too good!!
Kapaa (presenting, behold!, I don't know... really)
Go ahead and look, although it's probably not very plesant...
That's not true!
Nogi-san, I can tell tight and sexy your pussy is just by looking. (he actually says it's "thickness" but that just doesn't sound right about a pussy).
Naotatsu-kyun, your dick is rubbing against me so vigorously.
Naotatsu-kyun, you must still be really full. (panpan can mean vigorous rubbing or being full, I think the former is probably correct.
>Kapaa (presenting, behold!, I don't know... really)
>Go ahead and look, although it's probably not very plesant...
Go ahead and look, although it's probably not very nice...
(pleasant for you ---> pleasing, nice)
>That's not true!
>Nogi-san, I can tell tight and sexy your pussy is just by looking.
That's not true!
Nogi-san, I can tell how tight and sexy your pussy is just by looking.
(If that's too long for the bubble) Nogi-san, I can see how tight and sexy your pussy is.
>(he actually says it's "thickness" but that just doesn't sound right about a pussy).
Uh... maybe he's referring to her labia, especially the outer lips? They're thick or plump because she's chubby.
Or probably not, because in >>3835220 "pussy" means the inner parts, not the female genitals in general.
>Naotatsu-kyun, your dick is rubbing against me so vigorously.
Naotatsu-kyun, your dick is rubbing against me so vigorously!
>panpan can mean vigorous rubbing or being full, I think the former is probably correct.
Yeah, him being full sounds strange - his dick is erect so it's full? If he's full of energy, it's the same as vigorous.
Please, come on in!
Just once, I want to see what it's like to experience a penis.
Just one time I....
Stab!! (this has to be appropriate this time, just look how shocked she is! Though "slam" might be OK)
Entering x3 (slide) (slam) (slip) (something!)
I- I- I- Iyyyyyy..........
>Please, come on in!
It sounds like she's inviting him inside her house... unless she's really talking like that?
How about "Please put it in!" (not sure about comma)
>Just once, I want to see what it's like to experience a penis.
"Just once, I want to know what it's like to have a penis inside me!"
"Just once, I want to know how it feels to have a penis inside me!"
She's saying two sentences, we could keep that:
"I want to know what it's like to have a penis inside me! Just once!"
"I want to know how it feels to have a penis inside me! Just once!"
Maybe change "want to" "wanna" throughout the chapter
>Just one time I....
"Just one time..."
"Just once..." (again)
Some subtle phrase differences here, which should be used?
- just once = she wants to have sex even just a single time
- just for once = she wants to finally have sex
- There's also "just this once" = only for the occasion, but I don't think it fits her.
>Stab!! (this has to be appropriate this time, just look how shocked she is! Though "slam" might be OK)
I'd go with slam, stab is just too violent for me, it makes me think about wounds and death. It kills the mood.
>I- I- I- Iyyyyyy
Does this sound more like long eee or long aaa?
Do we know if the tankoubon will be less censored? The first two chapters were fine, then comes the third chapter and they decide to crank up the censorship to eleven for whatever reason.
The dicks are just white silhouettes now, is that even possible to decensor?
Is that supposed to be Shiwasu no Okina or someone else though? I really don't know what to think anymore.
>Do we know if the tankoubon will be less censored?
Based on earlier tanks, possibly. I hope so, like I hope this will have an orgy at the end.
>Is that supposed to be Shiwasu no Okina or someone else though?
It's not that important, look how many posts you guys used up talking about it.
Thanks, keep posting suggestions. I changed it to "Nogi-san, your skin is so white. And all this splendid weight, it's so nice and squishy!"
Your link says that "mochiri" means smooth and gooey like mochi so I don't think my original translation was wrong, just not quite right.
Inui... It's in...
We're joined together!!
tremble, shake, shudder x3
ahh... ahh... ahh...
You're moving! Naotatsu-kyun, you're moving!
Should he stop?
Paro, paro (not sure about this one, she's flailing her feet all over)
gu, gu, gu (the sound of swallowing, gulping, clenching, and gripping)
It's not bad at all...
Because, when he moves, it's real sex! (she's saying that when he moves it becomes sex, but I think this sounds better)
jyubo! x4 (sounds of penis going in and out of a wet pussy)
jyupo! x6 (sounds of penis going in and out of a wet pussy, just slightly different from before)
schlick! x3 (yep...)
gupun! x5 (sounds of penis going in and out)
How is it?
How does it feel to have sex Shizuha-tan?
It hurts, but it's good!
Wow! I had no idea there so much room inside me.
Your huge dick actually fits in there! (litterally it says "into that place, that amazing thing, is coming in" but she says it right after talking about some large empty space inside of her)
Isn't something like that no good?
Kiyona-tan, after this, it will be your turn, too.
This is your chanse Kiyona-tan!
Munyu, funyu, funyu (rub, kneed, fondle)
If possible, Nogi-san, I'd like to do it with you, too.
zupo x6 (something suddenly falling into a hole, zwp! )
Nupu x2 (more fucking)
squeeze, squeeze, squeeze
trob! (about to cum)
Okay, reviewing it again. Will post more suggestions here, or on pastebin, or both.
The big issue is we have to decide what to do with Kiyona's name if it's wrong.
You want to start translating chapter 5? I haven't started cleaning/erasing for it yet though. Got swamped.
If anyone wants to post a link to DL the script and raw (or cleaned) files all in one, I can get chapters out. I run Oppai-Scans and have some free time since thetsuuyaku is working on the Blade Play scripts at the moment.
You're volunteering to typeset? I'd wait for NogardNogard's opinion, he did it last time.
I think we still have to work out some kinks in the script. Don't know if he's doing chapter 5 right away or planning to typeset this first.
In any case, links to the script and both the raw and cleaned chapter 4 are all in the thread.
The script's compiled on http://pastebin.com/BzsCkXHT as he posted at >>3837283. But I'm working on suggested adjustments to that right now.
The raw is on http://exhentai.org/s/ffeac84b3b/756058-77 and on http://imgur.com/a/iislI
The pages with mostly empty balloons are on http://imgur.com/a/oS04X and they're converted to png from jpg.
Reviewed again with comments, will announce any further edits to it. Hope it's not confusing.
The thing with imageboards is you never know if someone is around until they post, unlike say chatrooms. So I don't know when he or you will read this.
But typesetting or not, a belated thanks for the offer.
If you want to start cleaning chapter 5 why not? Raws are all on the panda. Though I'll get on it until further notice.
Aight man thanks for the help. I'll get the images via imgur (since the exhentai isn't working for me) and the script and will get on that tonight. Damn Warlords of Draenor launch sucked much of my time yesterday and today.
Hey hold on. The script isn't final, NogardNogard still has to approve the changes and he might still want to typeset this chapter.
I guess you can start on it by yourself but let's all work out who's doing what first. Wait till he gets back and ask him.
Chapter 4 raw, bigger alternate scan (png), not on exhentai yet, taken from mikocon -- http://imgur.com/a/CzY8r
Chapter 5 raw, from those who did the first smaller scan of chapter 4, taken from exhentai (still jpg) -- http://imgur.com/a/te3fI
No cleaned/textless png versions of those yet. And because it's jpg, the Chapter 5 raw is already resized a little by imgur so we can't use it for the English version. It's just there for viewing.
Also uploaded Chapter 3 in French and Chapters 4-5 in Chinese. They're all at http://zvqk.imgur.com/
(sneaking in from work)
Aye, I wasn't going to do them all, I was going to do a test. If the typesetting is good enough (keeping the psd's as I usually do to make changes if needed) and the script is approved, I can typeset.
I'll DL those chapters tomorrow and work on getting them cleaned, although might take longer than usual, used to my own scans
I'm fine with you doing all the typesetting, my only condition, besides attribution, is that you include as much of the sound effects as possible. I mean, I don't expect you to go redrawing everything, but just a note in the margins or even the sfx placed over top of the original sfx would be fine. I just don't want all of the effort I spent on translating that stuff to go to waste. I've updated the translation here:
Oh, yeah and FYI, the fonts used were mostly Wild Words and then Twelve Ton Goldfish for more exciting things.
Yeah I'll involve the SFX's I see in the script. To save some time (and tbh not many will notice the sfx) I'll put them in a nice place, relevant of course.
I know the feeling, I've done cleaning, about 3 tankoubon's worth that got scrapped, sucks balls.
I'll make sure to use the preferred font. Anything for the SFX? I enjoy trashhand for those but that's up to you mate.
Cheers for the help
Ah, now that's settled. Still on board for Chapter 5?
Also it would be nice if you could check the translation for Chapter 1 and 2 if we got some things wrong, and also for the SFX. Maybe we can re-release them just for consistency. I can handle that as long as we have all the same fonts installed.
>How does it feel to have sex Shizuha-tan?
Needs a comma after "sex". Besides that, I concede.
What fonts did you use there?
Hyphen goes before the line break, also we tried not breaking up the words for chapters 1-3. But as long as we agree on the standard style guide I can try to redo 1-2 if needed.
Besides there were some specks and stuff I want to clean up more.
Oh aye, is there a time frame for this? It's 1am and my eye's are too blurred to do the necessary redrawing at the moment.
(I added the updated page, let me know what you think, trial and error until I get down what you'd like)
Ok, no worries, I'll fix up the hyphen and resize the text and play around with it a bit more until I feel it's decent.
I'm off, will be up and about 8pm melbourne time (ish, might change), should have something for you then.
It's RGB, you can make it grayscale for less file size, but you probably already knew that. Wall of text incoming.
Chapter 3 has two sets of raws.We used http://imgur.com/a/9BTHt for the English release. http://imgur.com/a/bvpvA is unused. The unused one is higher-res, it has higher contrast and more solid blacks, and it shows a little more of the page art, though it's more skewed and NogardNogard says it loses some detail.
I was working on copying the typesetting from the English release to the unused raw, as an alternative version. I'm way behind on that, only 4 pages done, but it's at http://imgur.com/a/D7R8l -- compare with the original release at http://imgur.com/a/xKnk9
Chapter 4 has two sets of raws already as well by the same two scan groups. http://imgur.com/a/CzY8r is higher-res, while http://imgur.com/a/iislI is lower-res, and they have different tones or levels too but the blacks are solid in both.
So I plan to do the same to the other raw when the English version is done. If you're cleaning and typesetting the higher-res one, I can copy the typesetting for the lower-res one. It's already cleaned in advance and uploaded to http://imgur.com/a/oS04X (Or I could help clean the higher-res one?)
Should also mention that I thought a breast in page 3, third panel down left side, was sloppily drawn: http://imgur.com/a/CzY8r#2 or http://imgur.com/a/iislI#2. So I retouched it a little for the cleaned smaller raw, http://imgur.com/a/oS04X#2. Maybe you can do the same with the bigger raw?.
I forgot to mention:
Their sensei is European and she says some words in English, mostly in chapter 1 but also later. We've been using a different font, Arial Rounded MT Bold, for those along with Wild Words for regular dialogue. I'd like to know what fonts you use for sfx.
Now see page 3 panel 4 in http://pastebin.com/BzsCkXHT
"HEY!! On the beach, doing it by yourself is out of the question!"
Based on NogardNogard's chapter 3 script format and my gut feeling, all caps means she's saying "Hey" in English. So "Hey" should be in Arial Rounded MT Bold. If you don't have that font, you can get it here:
If you look at the previous chapters, our first typesetter also put the English title on the logo and NogardNogard copied the pixels. Will you do the same or redo it? If the latter, I'd like to know what fonts you use for it.
Also we could use this template >>3828621 for the credits. But that page is too small and the raw source is different. I could redo it when you're done.
I got the font and will pay close attention to whether the sensei is speaking in caps to use it.
Dunno anything about titles, not seen any in the script. I'll do the chapter, send it here for review and if things need changing / adding let me know the page / bubble and I'll do it.
As for the credits, I'll leave that to you, just call me UncleBob or something, no need to link my site, doin this for fun and tits.
Gonna have a sleepless night so will post again when I'm done.
Don't forget to scale it as the raw has a higher resolution this time. I can do the credits page when it's done.
Take your time with chapter 5, no rush... I've started erasing balloons from it, will post the link later when they're all done.
I might redo chapter 4 with the other raw based on the new chapter's style. Only have 4 pages of that finished, sorry. Just copy-pasting and erasing pixels.
Also thinking of redoing chapter 1 by myself, again copy-pasting or just straight-up redoing the typesetting. There's a higher-res, lighter Chinese scan but again it loses some of the page area, maybe I can merge pages from different scan sets?
>On the beach, doing it by yourself is out of the question!
Oh wait... I'm pretty sure the sensei is saying ネ "ne" at the end of her second line, meaning "right?" "y'know?" "isn't it?", etc.
When we translated chapter 1 and 2, our first translator found that she did that a lot, so we decided to keep it in as a verbal tic of hers, though we toned it down. But it's only once here, so we could keep it.
Then we decided to represent "ne?" by "ya?" --- the idea was she's speaking "yeah?" with a European accent. So her line should go:
On the beach, doing it by yourself is out of the question, ya?!
It's five chapters and ongoing: http://exhentai.org/g/756058/816e49efb7/
English chapter 1-2: http://exhentai.org/g/731139/df929b1479/
English chapter 3: http://exhentai.org/g/753264/0dd50baed0/
Chapter 4 was translated in this thread but the guy doing the pages isn't done yet, I presume.
No translation on chapter 5 yet as well.
Ugh, been trying to get there for weeks now and it still doesn't work. Used to be able to but reset the computer and now, no dice.
Oh well, I'll just wait till the gentleman in this thread finishes. Godspeed.
There is a browser plugin that lets you log in.
Or try hentairules or doujin moe
I finished translating the first half of chapter 5
I don't hate it as much now. You know, now that my hopes and dreams have been crushed and my expectations reduced.
Yeah I think we're ALL just waiting to see if this ends with group sex for everyone.
Anyway, thanks again. Just a few suggestions for now.
>54. The pleasant feeling of coming on a classmate (music symbol)
-- The pleasant feeling of cumming on a classmate (music symbol)
>119. Ah! Kiyona-tan, that's not fair. I want to try it, too!
-- Ah! Kiyona-tan, that's not fair. I want to try (taste) it too!
[removed a comma, and maybe change try to taste]
>146. Umm... Nogi-san. I was hoping we could have sex, too.
-- Umm... Nogi-san. I was hoping we could have sex too.
-- Umm, Nogi-san... I was hoping we could have sex too.
-- Umm... Nogi-san, I was hoping we could have sex too.
[removed comma, pause variations]
>148. My PENIS is already hard again.
-- My penis is already hard again.
[said in English, right? What if we kept the random English words as a thing only the teacher does? Because she's foreign]
>152. If it would please you, I'd really like to do it with you!
-- (Please,) if it's alright, I'd really like to do it with you!
[sounded too formal at first, thought of using "if you like" but you already used "like"]
>240. Naotatsu-kun... Please, could you do it?
-- Naotatsu-kun... Please, could you do more of that?
>299. It seems I really like being played with strongly. (this is split between the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th bubbles)
-- It seems... I really like... getting it rough...
>312. Well, in that case... I'll do all I can to do you even harder! ( or “I'll do all I can to be even rougher!”)
-- Well, in that case... I'll do all I can to be even rougher!
[liked the double meaning of "do", but this fit better with the above change]
>494. This sadistic sex is tantalizing!! (I'm not really sure what he is saying here このsっぱいセクスやばい)
-- Wow... a little S&M can be so arousing!!
[something like that, but not "tantalizing" - it implies the attractive/desirable thing is out of reach at the moment, when he's the only guy having sex]
pls English version
Yeah let's just wait, I'll try to copy the stuff to the other raw of chapter 4, whoever does it first.
But if you beat him to it, he can still send us his files if he wants, maybe through a download link? I can host them on imgur.
Trying to do at least one page of the other chapter 3 raw a day.
In other news SnO hasn't posted any previews of this for a while, hmmm
Sorry, but make a new thread or find a better one pls...
>Ugh, been trying to get there for weeks now and it still doesn't work. Used to be able to but reset the computer and now, no dice.
Some people have been saying you have to play that stupid game. I can't get in anymore either.
polite sage for off-topic
Just realized we don't have a cleaned raw for the other chapter 4 raw yet. I can handle that.
In case Uncle Bob doesn't come back yet, which raw do you prefer:
(already has blank bubbles - http://imgur.com/a/oS04X)
(whole magazine scan's not uploaded to exhentai yet)
He was cleaning the latter himself
Welp, it's been over a week and Bob's still not back.
Been cleaning stuff, will post a full link later when they're all done. I can get the typesetting started by the weekend if that's fine with you.
While the other one is a bit straighter in some cases, it also has a lot more images that bleed through from one page to the other.
Go ahead and typeset it.
As much as I like typesetting, it takes too much time with my method.
Been watching this thread a while. Exhentai is really hostile. Why is that where everything is posted? I just want the english for 3 and up ;_;
I can't get the exhentai plugin to work and it's frustrating to do this much work for it
Doing this on Photoshop, as GIMP can't do stuff like faux italics, but learning as I go.
Here's the first few pages, not sure if final. Had to adjust dialogue a bit for spacing, and maybe more clarity, hope it's fine.
We're close to autosaging at 300 posts, and chapter 3 and 4 are both 20 pages not counting credits...
Starburst balloons are tough to work with.
That's all for now, doing the rest.
Ah, yeah I misplaced some phrases.
Is this all right?
I also forgot the "gulp" sfx in panel 2 here.
Page 4 seems okay... Here's page 5. Other pages later.
I noticed not all the sfx so far has been translated, like in here and page 4. But if that was on purpose, it's fine.
Redrawing the bubbles took some time.
I don't think anybody uses grey... raw too light?
Thanks... But we'll link to it? Different raw, okay, but different fonts too. We're trying to be consistent with the translated ch. 1-2. The main difference now is the translations of sfx. But I see you have a bigger variety of fonts. Hmmm...
Seems like we're getting a chapter this month. A wild preview appeared on @siwasunookina today.
CC Wild Words - Regular Dialogue
CC Wild Words ITALIC -faux Italic- Slurred Dialogue or trembling dialogue because
the speaker is horny -
CCKissandTell - Regular Dialogue of horny sluts or the speaker has a vagina leaking semen
Thick letters with corners - ObelixPro
Thought Balloons - SF cartoonist Hand (ALL CAPS version)
Nogi Kiyona Box - CC Astrocity
Any japanese dialogue that looks handwritten - Architect's Daughter
SFX for sex - CCMeanwhile
Well, since the February issue is scheduled to appear on Dec.28th (or around that, since its a sunday) there is still hope! :)
There's another preview btw
We've reached autosage... might post new pages here until it drops off or I could start a new thread.
The "Another" font for moans isn't working out, I think. It gets hard to read when it's smaller. Same with "Twelve Ton Goldfish" to a lesser extent. So I might remake pages.
Well, there's barely any other students left. The first girl who was mostly just teasing, her stoic friend, and the autistic girl. Maybe the girl who gave just a blowjob will come back since she is still a virgin and it seems this manga is obsessed with one dude having a complete victory (then again, she is probably a lesbian).
I'm assuming the two volleyball girls are like mega-sluts and the tag-along just being an extremely horny virgin.
The plot/characterization is pretty dumb at this point. I'm assuming there will be twist where the boys and girls were drugged (in different ways).
Trying out the Augie font for the moans. Another is too hard to read.
Left the actual sex sounds untranslated for now, but other sfx is in. There's just no way to do that gracefully in English (that I can think of).