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Poverty. Im a college grad(which is nothing special) who can not find a job above minimum wage bullshit. I cant even get to the interview stage. If i get to the interview, i've always landed the job after that but I just cant get in the door.
So im married living with my wife who basically supports me because i barely make enough for food and gas.
I don't have a girlfriend. My last one cheated on me with a german guy when she left for an student exchange program and I haven't been able to find an equal or better female after that. I've banged randoms yes, but it just sucks to not have someone you know?
Academically I'm an idiot. I dropped out of highschool. I'm in community college and doing fine for now, but these are the really, really easy gen ed classes that you get an A for so long as you show up. I haven't been truly tested so far with all my classes.
From street smarts perspective I'm also dumb. Shit social skills. Shit common sense. I'm just dumb in every sense of the word.
I have nightmare mode difficulty career ambitions that I fear I'll never obtain because of my aforementioned dumbness.
I have exams next week so i'm pretty stressed out. I love a girl that has a boyfriend yet and i don't have any chance with her because she really loves her boyfriend, he's not an asshole. Last girlfriend was 2 years and half ago, but she left a hole in my heart and i don't even know how to get a girl anymore, even tho i'm a good looking guy. I don't know what else.
>Dopamine levels in the brain very low >Food losing taste, senses becoming dull >Experience time lapses that can't account for >Often stiff and non-responsive limbs >Chest pains in the right side >Cannot store new memories, last 10 years of memories cant account for >Unable to memorize simple things like names, faces and notes from university
I tried exercising and sleeping more often, nothing is working. Yet, despite all this, I am able to perform my routine functions and communicate with people, its just I have now trouble understanding what they say, my hearing and vision seems faded.
I just want to understand what is happening with me. Is this a neurological disorder or a chemical imbalance in my body?
>>596619104 As for academics i really don't know how one would improve that, but street skills are pretty easy to improve. just think through decisions before you make them, try to see things from different perspectives, you might avoid doinjg retarded shit. As for career i would start out low at some company where YOU HAVE ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT. this is fucking important to avoid getting stuck at a low wage job.
One of my best friends was murdered and tossed into a fire pit. I've given it 2 years and I still can't decide if I want to try to avenge my friend, or if I should continue collage and hope I can accomplish something in my life.
My wife loves me, but meets none of my emotional needs. I love her too, but I feel like she's essentially a nice person that I would claim as a dependent, for all practical purposes.
I've found myself thinking more and more about having an affair, especially in the last few months. I know I need to talk to her, but it's been so long since I've felt anything but alone that I'm not even sure what I want out of a committed relationship anymore.
I just feel blue. I'm alone and virgin at 23, I'm not motivated to study, even if those are my last weeks in college. I regret my college years, I didn't study as seriously as I should, and I rarely hung out with people or met girls.
I don't know what will be coming next. I just needed to get it off.
>>596619926 They always have to tell you that, otherwise they would get sued.
There's always risks involved in surgery no matter what. Even the most routine surgery there's room for error and you can die.
Heart Surgery is a scary thing, but Surgeons train for YEARS to get to where they're at. On top of that, everything that they do is highly procedural to an extent, so fuck ups are difficult to happen.
Psychology can play a role into how well you go through surgery. A lot of surgeons can be uneasy if their patient doesn't appear to have much faith in them. If patient shows that they trust them they are more likely to do a good job during surgery.
Wish your surgeon good luck and try and be as positive about the whole ordeal as you can. Might make a difference. Good luck.
>>596617973 I can never seem to make good friends who live near me. any time I meet someone who actually lives a good distance away (within 30 minutes drive), I never seem to really LIKE them, even if they like me. and when we do hang out, I just get bored of them after the first couple of times.
I also can't really kiss people, otherwise I'm guaranteed to not see them again. Not because I'm a bad kisser or anything, but half because I don't really try to see them again, half because they don't try to see me again.
Other than that, life's actually pretty good. I got a job 3 weeks ago, and I'm already getting promoted.
Partner is great. Great sex. Spends all time with me. Has a high paying job. Wants to get married.
But, I have no friends. Every time I make a friend they never offer to hang out, or decline when asked. The old friends slowly have been pushed away for lying to me or stealing from me. I don't know how to make new lasting friendships.
I already decided I'm going to end it idiots. I'll be gone long before even coming close to doing something to a kid. I'm not sadistic or psychopathic enough. I can rationalize CP in my mind because I "don't hurt anyone".
The problem is I'm too afraid of the pain or botching the suicide and having to live through that. I've been looking on the deep web for a couple of months for effective drugs but I'm shit out of luck.
I'd love to have some doctor just fucking kill me via lethal injection. That's the help I want.
>fucked milf receptionist at work after a drunk night >turns out she is actually batshit crazy and that i fucked the office nut >morning after she tried to hide my car keys >find my used condom on her coffee table looking for said keys (we fucked on her bed, put it in the bin) >leaves flowers on my desk and on my car every day >told all the other women on my floor i'm hung (i'm average) >told all the other women on my floor we fuck regularly (we don't) >talk to her and she agrees to stop and that we had a one night thing (she doesn't stop) >get pulled by management >boss told me that i shouldn't be so "loud" about my relationships with other people in the workplace >told me i'll get fired if it continues >office loner keeps asking me what office sex is like even though i told him it wasn't in the office
>>596621988 Lots of friends all saw it and know it's bullshit and helped me block it. A couple of them knew her and saw her clinging to me at the convention where we met.
Just fucked me up cuz I'm incapable of raping someone, I can't even get it up unless a chick is super into me, which she was. She drove from another state away to sleep with me. I guess she just regrets it now two years later and is stirring shit.
>>596621502 A 22 year old guy. I study software engineering. I adore computers been sitting near one since I was 6. Things I'm passionate about are my field of work: programming, software, the IT sector as a whole, competetive electronic sports, I follow a ton of scenes because I was a bit overweight as a kid and never really suceeded in football or basketball. I'm passionate about girls and have had 2 girlfriends (last one cheated on me but oh well). Also I have a great memory, I've been able to recount 130 porn stars as a bet I made with my dorm buddies for 2 extra large pizzas and ended the recounting at 134.
My problems? I have one pretty huge one. I'm super detached from people. I just don't care about them. From what I've understood it's because my dad had alcohol problems and used to scream at me a lot as a child up until the point where I would become numb and wouldn't cry and not care anymore about anything. It kinda stayed with me as I grew up and I don't talk to a lot of people. I have about 5 friends at total who also share some issues like myself one of them had attempted to suicide 3 times in his life. I just somehow click with people with problems better.
>>596617973 Been stagnant for a long time. I have a job but that's about it. I use to go to the gym but since the winter started, I haven't been there in 3 months. I hate winter btw. Another thing, I was writting a lot but I can't seem to have inspiration. I stopped weeks ago since my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He's due to have an operation to remove it since it's not too late. He has a 97 percent chance of being fine but I don't know if it will be okay, OP. I can't seem to be intrested in being happy or working to be happy. I've had a shitty couple of years with 2013 being shit but if my dad doesn't make it then this year is going to be worse. I'm too stagnant and I procrastinate too damn much.
pic unrelated but just felt like posting something.
I want to talk about my problems which I realise aren't problems after i finish talking about them and then cringe really hard because I'm so pathetic so I keep my problems back until they're actual problems in my head and I need to burst and the cycle continues.
Yeah, I fucked up big time this time with my family. My father doesn't even want to talk to me anymore because of my drug habits and now i'm getting kicked outta the house because of it. Bad enough I wasted my money on the drugs but I got school to pay for as well. My whole moving out will be happening by Friday and the only one to blame for this is myself. I dug myself into this mess but now I really don't know where else to go. Losing a relationship with my father alone, there no words for that when he doesn't even look at you in the eye.
>>596617973 im trying to get into the marines but i cant because i have a tattoo on my leg. Why cant i join because of a shitty tattoo. Im trying to get into infantry so why does it matter if i have a tattoo?????? i can kinda understand though fml fuck my shit highschool decisions
>>596622671 Cant make friends at work beacause they are older than me , they could be my fathers. I have friends , i hang out with them but still feel empty inside, like i will be stuck here with my job that i dont like , but it salary is good, wont make my dreams cuz of independence an shit , have to look over my house myself .
This girl I like doesn't return my feelings and is probably hiding a relationship with my friend. I've already had sex with this girl 3 times and took her virginity so I thought I had her for sure but she doesn't care about me at all
Well, judge me on this op. >had gf since 31 dec >week ago, i think, her birthday was coming up >asked her if she wanted to go out but i used an expression that offended her for some reason, so she got mad(she thinks highly of herself) >after a fuck ton of apologizing, she said that she'd give me a second chance, and i told her how happy i was >next day, her b-day >wished her a happy bday and what not, as soon as i woke up(7am) >later that day, about 18pm i think, i text her if she's had a good day, she replied that i ignored her for 1/2 a day >she said she had plans that day so i didn't want to disturb her, that's what i told her >she said i'm making up excuses >get pissed, say fuck this. Deleted whatsapp(installed it just for her), the pictures she made with my phone of us, unfriended on facebook. i have not heard from her since her bday(29 jan) Did i do something wrong op? Was i stupid or was her princess attitude showing?
>>596624044 >sounds good' >why not >o w8 i have problems >iam scared of talkin to ppl >sorry no maybe next time I am shy as fuck i cant even go solo meetups without any friend besides me . And i think here are few ppl from place i live or near.
I generally hate myself and I am so worried about how I come across to other people I am either too full on or completely distant and withdrawn. All I ever wanted was to just be told that I am ok as I am now, and I don't need to change, but instead I am just criticized,
>Be me >Be 22 >Have gf for 3 years >Get her pregnant >Convince her to get abortion since we'll always be together >Take her to clinic >Get her back home with prescribed painkillers >Pack my stuff and move out while she's sleeping it all off >Grab bottle of painkillers omw out the door
>be 25 >Didnt finish at least one education >Shitload of debts >Last 3 years of living where only possible due weed using
>Found out by the age of 19 that i have a little brother >On the same month meet the first girl who i have feelings for >theyre 300 kilometers apart from each other >decide to stay and fight for the heart of the girl, cause little bro is better off with his family without my psycho aura >go through shit and hell to gain the heart of the girl >100% Friendzone
>3 years later, be broken and desperate >find out she uses me as "normal" guy for talking and shit cause she is a hooker
January this year my aunt invited me to her city so that i can recover from everything, family is maybe forgiving me for my shit, idont know.
still cant forget her.
but anon, tell you what i never stopped fighting, i cant cause i want to go to wallhalla and you cant enter as someone who killed himself, thats mybe one of 3 reason why im still alive (first one is my little bro)
Never give p, i was homeless and lived on the streets of berlin in the end, its karma and fate maybe, but never be an hero, it isnt worth anything.
Its your world, you life and die alone, you can only invite people in your world and only you can change it.
Be happy and enjoy life, go to the nature to forests, maybe smoke some weed, maybe go to hippie festivals maybe go to heavy metal concerts or whatever, but start enjoy life by going outside and create wonderfull world in your mind.
I wish you luck /b/ro
never forget, society made us society created the monsters in ourself, thats wy we are /b/. but you only can destroy the monster by yourself.
To share I have had something similar happen where I asked one of my (at the time crushes) friends for advice because I felt feelings for her but wasn't sure if she had those and my crush was at her friend's house. After all that her friend fell in love with me and my crush didn't. Moral of the story? Don't be a cringefag and don't think relationships on the internet can go on if you haven't seen her for 3 years.
What you should do is forget it. Love isn't something that'll pull you through bullshit she and her troll friends had done by insulting you. I'm guessing the ages of everyone in the story is underageb& but i might be wrong.
Don't stay with her. Move on. Fuck her, fuck her friends (not literally) but from your story the closest you've been to her was playing computer games on the internet. ALSO. NEVER in your fucking life EVER tell someone you like them other the Internet. Just fucking don't do it.
>>596627540 yep , i`ve already have plans for traveling , and i love hitchhiking . Seems like i need to destroy my pc and start watching tv and become total normalfag, buy an iphone or any other cool smartphone, become total slave...
>>596628202 no you dont need to, for example i always plan my hitchiking and travel tours via pc, i only start the travelling withour any electronik,only and old nokia mobile. When youre on the way then you really learn to appreciate life, also try to use as less money on your travel as possible and try to visit communitys where the peple show you "ecological livestyle" on this way you learn to fight you social phobia
also make maybe some photos and post them on /b/ afterwards, i would be happy :)
>>596628104 Thanks anon, it truly means alot you took the time to read it and give me your honest opinion - it's an answer i've been hunting for ages. By forgetting do you mean get her out of my life or just "be friends"? I've felt for some time that it just isn't working out and it's probably for the best to let go, but letting go is the hardest part and I just can't. I know deep down it'll get to nowhere with her, but I feel I have nothing if I don't have a girl that has me interested. In the sense, I feel empty if I have no-one to pursue (not in a rapey, /b/ way).
And yeah, looking back i'm cringing and thinking why it was so autistic of me to confess, over the INTERNET for fuck's sake.
>>596629175 I don't think being friends is a huge option. You've outlined that her messages were lifeless. It's not only because she had been like that in the past but also due to the time that has passed since you've seen her and that it's long distance.
Also, I believe her and her friends were all in on the joke of making fun of you and fucking around (know I know this might be wrong) especially since it started after you said you liked her. Especially since they apologised later.
Trust me, she is not that interested. In the past it was probably you who always started conversations with her and it was less on her own correct? If you were the one showing most of the attention and almost getting none back it just won't go anywhere doesn't matter how much you try. And the saying "plenty of fish in the sea" is never wrong. Trust me on this one.
Also also, youre probably too underage& to say things like I can't move on etc, sure you can, I myself have done it numerous times. I was willingly in a friendzone for about 1 year of my life and it's the time I regret the most up to this day. It's just not worth it in the end.
I'm with this girl, having the best time of my life, she is the greatest joy I have right now. She enjoys my company a lot, having said that too. She is very slow to warm up to any kind of romantic shit because of her past relationship going bad, and is very much against committing herself or putting labels on what we are.
Now however she is going to travel for a month. We haven't been together for long so I'm afraid that because she doesn't want to put that label or commit that something is going to happen to this amazing thing that I now have for the first time in my entire life. Love.
I talked to her, she gave me a goodbye kiss and seems to like me a lot; and if she does she can't admit it to herself. She however said that she wants to see how it is when she comes back and is not sure at all; I die a little bit when I think about her meeting someone wherever she goes and giving in to the whole travel atmosphere and "cheating".
I know I'm supposed to just let her go and think her shit through but I feel so helpless. You anons are THE shit, not shit. If someone so much as replies to this it will make me feel so much better.
guy is right, there are ALOT of easy young sluts about, seriously, ust the other day i witnessed a 15 year old girl going into a guys car and doing stuff with him consentually, it was the first time they had met
>not sure if they fucked but she left with marks on her neck and a ripped coat,
a few girls have told me it would be easy for me to get a fuck, they have loads of friends who would just fuck, just because there sluts
BUT I FUCKING CHOSE THE STEPMUM OF MY EX GOD DAMN IT
>>596630472 Don't act like you're freaked out. If it is serious she will come back and it will be worth it in the end.
If you've had a proper relationship up until the point of her leaving a one month period won't change much.
I suggest you keep in contact with her, don't freak out and be noisy like "HEY HAVE YOU GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AWAY?" or anything similar. Just continue talking to her like you've had other the internet, inb4 doesn't have her contacts on skype/facebook.
Everything should be fine. Although, I personally believe "I need time to sort things out" is a sign of a weak person and I don't like those kind of females but it should work out.
My sinus congestion has overflowed so now my left ear is painfully plugged with snot. I'm dizzy because I can't get enough oxygen to string two sentences together.
I get pneumonia nearly every year -- this is just a cold so far. Feels like knives have been installed at the top of my throat so swallowing really hurts. And I can't sleep because every time I lay down all the snot fills my sinuses and I can't breath at all -- I have to stay upright so they'll drain and I can still breathe.
She'll cheat on the next guy too. Better out of your life now than if you were married or had kids. There's more to life than just a woman. Go do some stuff you want to do. Like spear fishing or hunting, or some shIt. Go to another country and flirt with the women. It'll be fun bro
>>596631160 With 21 your are as adult as her, there's no pedo-sh1t about that Bad move the whole thing, but get over it, you can't ruin the life of someone with one big mistake, there has been something else going on for sure
>>596630472 Yo anon. I don't really have anything inspired or profound to add to what's already been said, but I'm feeling like shit right now and I hope this comment makes you feel better somehow. Don't worry about it man, chin up. If she's yours now, she'll still be yours when she gets back.
Also, I am Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite thread on /b/.
>>596632068 I'm unsocial yes, i.e. i'm beta in social situations where I struggle to find something to talk about with girls and keep a conversation going that's interesting. I'm all for it, but doubt as listed above is probably stopping me
I feel like I wasted soo much, yet at the age of 24. I really wished I pushed myself to be social, now everything is falling apart in my life. >I have a whole family, mainly my mother's side that hates me and is dissappointed over my pathetic life and an outted secrets that never made it to my grave. >fucked around with my school loans, now I have to pay back 13k to continue. >completed three years, but credits might expire because it has been three years since I been in college. >other males in the family passing me up significantly in status, girlfriends and all. Hell, my teenage nephews are showing dominance with their girlfriends. Now every time any other male come over they present their girlfriend like milestone trophies. If I even attempt to make a friend, they'll out me. I lost three friends on facebook because of it. My family is fucking with my life so much right now.
I really blame myself for being stupid, because it all comes back to that fact. I couldn't get into any friendships because everything they talked about was like a foreign language. Now I am trying to catch up on everything and experiencing dark depression.
>>596632120 No sense going to a doctor; they'll just point out it's a viral infection and antibiotics are contraindicated.
I've had colds with these symptoms before. Usually not quite in this order, but it happens. I should be okay in a day or two so long as I successfully avoid bronchitis as I'm very susceptible to pneumonia.
Second a suitable female will always surface with time. Just sort your shit out and move on from what you've experienced before you look for one because having emotional baggage always prevents you from moving forward.
Do any of you have friendships based on smoking weed? I was friends with this guy I knew from when I was younger and we just smoked weed whenever we hung out, then I stop smoking weed and hang out with him and he's actually an asshole who back stabs everyone, so yeah fuck him
Good Night /b/ros, i love you all, please remember we all dont meet eachother cause we are too afraid to show society our true face. I wish it wouldnt be like that and i could show the world my true face, but everytime i do this, they are scared like hell cause they never realized the hell they create on earth with their Livestyle of new and shiny.
>>596634435 I use to buy through this guy and would give him a little bit for the effort, but every time id buy some the amount would get smaller and smaller, then acted like a pussy bitch when I whipped out some scales and weighed it up in front of him
>>596632615 I had lewd picks and drawn porn on my laptop, and only told my closest cousin about the drawn stuff and my art profile back in 07. Ever since my cousins been acting curious about snooping my room and joking about the stuff I would have on my laptop. One winter vacation the cousins hung out at my house while I worked. Little did I know one day I went to work I left my door unlocked. They found their way on my laptop and shared all the stuff on it with the family. I came back home and noticed they was real secretive. It took me a while maybe a month until one friends from school eventually told me the cousins leaked the stuff, through facebook. I had an axiety attack and never fully recovered over it. They have hard evidence about me and I sit here without any advantage. My dignity is shot. I am just thankful my face wasn't in the pics.
>>596635838 You're fucking kidding me dude... That's brutal, holy shit, what kind of scumbag human fucking being does that to someone? Man, what's your work situation looking like? Because I hate to say it, but your family doesn't deserve to have you in their fucken' lives, and you need to get your ass outta that house, outta that town, outta that state even. You need to move on, harder and tougher, and to hell with their bulshit. You're bigger, better, stronger and tougher than the lot of em put together and multiplied by fucken ten
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