Ilegal/Smart shit you used to do or still do
>Early to mid 2000's
>Go to walmart
>Purchase the newest/best graphics card
>Put old graphics card back in packaging
>Go back to walmart
>Return at customer service for full money back
Did that shit for years
Send people RATS (remote administration tools)
I would crypt them with a paid crypter
Bind them to torrents, fake hacking tools, fake paypal money extractors etc.
Then i would sy on their webcams and when they were away
FUCK UP the computers booting, Registry, steal all of their credentials, bank accounts, social network accounts
Usually ended it by setting their wallpaper to gay black porn and setting the windows theme to everything pink
did it to over 100+ people
Never got caught, were some scary moments though
>Go to Walmart
>Buy PC games that require Steam and have a code
>Go home and install game to Steam library
>Return game the next day for full refund
Got like 8 copies of Modern Warfare 2 for my friends for free.
I do this exact same thing with earbuds. I just buy the same pair of $50 earbuds every time my old ones die and then return them for a full refund. Ironically, once or twice I actually had to return the new ones because they didn't work either.
I don't see how earbud technology still hasn't managed to make them last more than five months yet. I'm NOT going to spend a few hundred dollars a year on new ones.
I wasn't too smart with covering my tracks, i didn't even use a simple VPN
I would sometimes catch on to certain people that had a different name come up in my RAT program that wasnt set to "victim" as it should
And everytime they were on a barebones set of windows trying to trace back where its coming from, uninstalled the server real quick. cut off internet for atleast 30 mins.
I did to alot of illegal shit, so i always got worried and those types of guys would come up atleast twice a week,, and the whole way that it would connect to them was so awkward, just people smarter than me doing what they do best
The biggest thing i ever did was probably ssteal 3600 euros off of some russian ladies bank account that i key logged and she usually left open, then 300 euros off of her husbands
>buy pc games that come in box with book-cover-like flap on front.
>ends of box have security stickers, can't open them without voiding return policy
>cut box open along inner seam of front flap
>install game, copy cd to hard drive with cdclone
>return cd to box, keep manual
>superglue box back together
>return game to face great suspicion
>stickers are intact
Then torrents came along and made it all obsolete.
I think you misunderstood my post. What I do is I buy a brand new pair of the exact same brand/model of earbuds that broke (Skullcandy 50/50, decent) and switch them out. Then I return them as if they were the same ones I just bought. >>589898569
This is true, but you'd think someone would have figured out a practical solution to the wear and tear situation the cables encounter.
My go to missing work call was never "I'm sick", it was "Family problems". They never questioned it, it's vague enough and embarrassing enough that nobody ever asks
Put clear skateboard grip over your license plate, people can still see it but if they try to take a picture with flash they get a big blur back
Whenever I go to a big chain movie theater, I get my tickets from those electronic kiosks they have at the front, and I buy the child's price tickets. They're way cheaper.
The guy ripping the tickets never gives a shit. I'm always prepared to say, "Oops, did I buy a kid's ticket by accident? Sorry!" if I ever get caught, but I've done this at least a dozen times and have never been called on it.
If you look like you know what you're doing, no one will bother you. To prove this in college, a friend and I walked into the student union holding a clipboard, walked straight over to a table, picked it up and walked out with it without anyone saying anything.
>You think this shit would still work?
Absolutely, especially at a place like Wal mart where the customer service person likely has no idea what the card is supposed to look like
i distill my own liquors. in my state of residence it is a felony to do it and a misdemeanor to own the product
My friend works with me in the IT dept at our college (we're student workers). One time he walked right into campus safety and took one of their monitors and walked out. no questions asked.
If you're ever bored, try taking it a step further and see if you can get into places that you absolutely should not be allowed to. I ended up in a shareholder's meeting once by claiming that I forgot my ID badge inside when I went out for a smoke break. I didn't do anything and it was boring as fuck, but it's fascinating to know that I can.
If someone is battling you for the arm rest on an airplane cough into that arm then put it back. I fly a lot and shit never failed me
When I was a young lad I'd go to new stands and put porno mags inside of newspapers and buy the newspapers.
(Keep in mind this was pre Internet)
I am a student and I like to occasionally visit a local stationary store.
>Go to employee
>Ask to see expensive fountain pens, I want to buy one as a gift for a friend's graduation
>Some pens are kept locked in a large glass display
>She has to turn around to unlock it
>Meanwhile several writing instruments from other displays find their way into my pockets
>No cameras, only a couple other employees, store is huge
>Make her fetch at least 5- 10 different pens before I eventually buy a cheap one to avert suspicion
>Walk out like a boss with pockets full of pic related
>Usually just give them away to friends
>mfw they end up just losing or breaking them
>some other times I just go to other parts of the store and take shit that I need for school
Only once or twice a month though. My tip is always buy something when shoplifting.
A drug dealer in DC taught me to pick my nose if the police are staring at me. No one picks their nose if they think someone is watching them, so it's the ultimate way of being nonchalant
They check every item inside to see if it matches up with serial numbers now. I don't know what backwards town you live in but the management in my city are on to criminals like that.
At toll booths where you had to throw the change in the bucket....well on the ones that had no people stationed at we would stuff a tshirts down the collection bucket and leave it go for a day. When we would come back we'd have like $120 in quarters
why would someeone solve an issue like this
broken cables are the main way that earbud companies like skullcandy make their money
but i cant believe i never thought about this idea its genius
Yes, but it was usually some nigger, or 40 year old woman, or even some regular dude. they had no idea what the fuck they were looking at , it just looks like technology to them, yes they check, but they dont know the difference, as long as something was in the box, you're golden
>be like 13 or 14
>hang out with this one family of beaners regularly
>they were all super trashy and dicks to e and everyone else
>i had no other friends so hanging out with them was about all i could do with my free time
>they get foreclosed on from their original house
>move into nicer house somehow down the street
>one day while i am hanging with them they decide to go into old house and fuck shit up, vandalize shit
>me, one of my lesser friends at the time, beaner brothers, and a few of their friends all go into the house, and just wreck the place
>walls all smashed in, banister ripped off, don't remember who but someone brought a fucking sledgehammer and destroyed the tiling in the kitchen, ceiling fan on the floor glass back door broken, you get the jist
>like a week later buddy that was there too told me that the beaner brothers and their few friends were going to court, for vandalism or whatever
>be shitting myself for a few days cuz i thought i was gonna get arrested
> not too long after my mom comes up to me one day and says "if i ever see you with those boys again, ill let them take you"
>tfw mom just let off the hook for that shit
Occasionally, when I go through a particular KFC drive-thru five minutes before closing, a three-piece meal order magically turns into an 8-piece with a large side or two.
this ones pretty good
>hang with these two guys every day
>the 3 of us were poor stoners
>one day we cut class and go down to the superstore to steal shit
>we go to the eating area and notice that the K-cup dispenser had like 2$ credit in the machine
>try to buy a coffee
>friend a goes and gets an employee and tells her that the machine ate his money (it actually didn't he just wanted the toonie)
>she walks over, types in a code
>a menu pops up (mind you shes doing all of this right in front of us)
>open change drawer
>she pulls out the change drawer gives us the toonie, we can see the drawer is full of toonies and loonies
>closes it and walks away
>we all look at each other in awe
we all saw the code to open the drawer. we used to go there at lunch and on our off classes and steal like 45$ in toonies and loonies, and spend it on weed, pizza and cigarettes. id say since we started doing it till i graduated we pulled an easy 1000$ out of that machine without anyone batting a fucking eye
Did this once when I got called by the police for not pulling over fast enough. My brother picked up the phone and handed it to me saying it was the cops so I put on a deaf voice and said that I couldn't hear them because my hearing aid was broke. They dropped it and for the first time I had earned my brothers respect.
>get involved in stock market
>get involved in insider trading.
>get hooked up with swoops (google it)
>make 28 million in 18 mos.
>SEC gets wind of it.
>Come down on me like house on wicked witch.
>end up making deal
>Give it to them or go to prision for 20 years.
>Don't wanna share a cell with Bubba.
>Give it all back to them. no jail time.
>Permanently banned from stock market.
>Broke again but no fucks given.
>My face when.
>work at store between 16-18 yo
>me and accomplice would work tills / checkouts
>steal around £100-200 a week, making sure we crashed the till computer after each shift
>never got caught but suspected
>because I was on tills I could let people pass through without scanning some items
>family / friends stole around £600 of stock during my tenure
my old boss used to think I was lazy for not working many hours a week
Ugh fuck this one should be kept a secret but whatever. Next time you're at your dentist or any place that has a layout of various magazines, take a picture of the barcode, address, and name. When you get home thats all the information you'll need log into the online version of the magazine. Either that or set it up on your iPad and enjoy free versions of magazines forever.
>works for rolling stone, time, economist, etc.
I was shooting for thirty mil when busted. Damn near did it, too.
At one point me and some insiders got word on a swoop on some major hospital supply stock that was going to be bought up by some huge corp. Put up five mil. If that'd come off would have netted about 20 mil. Buyer never came through, stock bottomed out. Lost the five mil, plus 2 more. Bad day, man.
Call up your TV provider, and tell them you want to stop using them. To keep your business they will offer extra channels. When the channels run out, repeat the process. I have had NFL Sunday Ticket on Directv for 3 years straight now for free.
Here's a classic. Drive over to your 7/11 of choice. Fill up a Slurpee and drop some candy bars in that bitch. Make sure the candy bars aren't showing. Cover the Slurpee and pay for it. Free Snickers bitch.
Damn! So much bullshit trailerpark penny annie shit. Not even worth the time if you get caught. Too stupid for me to even think about. Six months for a snickers bar? No thanks. Y'all are fuckin crazy!
>worked at investment bank, IT
> seconded to a satellite ( small) office
>responsible for hardware
> rope delivery guy and other teammate into stealing equipment.
>walk out in broad daylight with 3 cages worth of computers and crt monitors
>planned it like oceans 11
> support for planned power down ( no power in building to check resiliency)
> realise no cameras will be on.
> Steal a projector, hook it up at home
> panicked women comes around days later asking me if i seen projector
ive been caught stealing from corner stores about 50 times. they're not gonna bother calling the police over a fucking candy bar and even if they do the police arent gonna do all that paperwork over a fucking candy bar. they usually just tell you to put the shit back and fuck off
RAT's lets you see the other persons desktop and what they are writing without them knowing. you can also control allot of things on their computer without them knowing via the RAT. like change background, see and copy what ever file on their computer with out it showing up on their screen.
just google how to use rat.
you get a tool that creates viruses (trojan horses) that lead to your ip
then you get a crypter that make it so anti-viruses don't detect it.
rename and change the icon to whatever you want
That is a fact of life anon: committing crimes is not worth it if you are caught. The government makes sure that punishments always outweight monetary gain. Unless of course you are some giant super corporation
robbed 12 spray cans by simplying putting them in a sting bag walking out with them then proceed to climb the same store with my friends and draw a sizeable coloured cock on the building which was visible for about half a mile not really smart but its illegal and i got away with it
If you buy a can multipack of Pepsi, monster etc. Use the self service, twist the can inside the plastic wrapper and use the bar code on the can rather than the wrapping. It means you get 6 for the price of 1.
toilet paper packages have plenty of little holes you can drop shit in, free chapsticks and what not.
At wallmart the under carriage of shopping carts is a place to put dog food bags or whatever large shit you want look for the shortest cashier you can and sometimes you can get by them as they can see over the dam counters, just makesure your allready buying a lot of shit first or it will be obvious and all the bags block the view on your way out.
>Used to "crack" passwords for pornsites for fame and fortune
>Stumble upon a flaw in a sites CCBill script
>Gain access to the server
>Database filled with thousands of credit cards, unencrypted
>Card shit for months and send everything to a friends house, he was cool with it as long as he got a cut
>Pawn mobile phones and other shit
>Nobody ever got caught
Ahhhh, the early days of interwebs.
Hahahaha....we used to steal traffic cones like this, when I was in the army. We'd just get out of the car in uniform, pick them up, put them in the trunk, and drive off. Don't look around and look suspicious and no one is gonna say shit.
forgot to mention obviously have the money to pay if you get caught, the main part is to take you time unloading the shit out of the cart so by the time you have half the shit out you have have a few bag sready to go blocking the bottom of the cart.
Saw some homeless faggot do that, once. Cop saw him. He tried to deny. Ended up getting the shit beaten out of him by five cops for being asshole. Ended up in hospital then jail for a year. All that for five fucking dollars in coins. What a dumb shit!
>At high school
>Teacher had to go for some reason, told class we have one hour free until she returns
>We walk around the empty halls for a while, everyone else is the classrooms
>Eventually everyone decides to go outside and chill
>Play some football, derp around doing typical high school stuff
>suddenly I have an epiphany
>a cunning plan starts to take shape in my mind, as if satan himself had whispered in my ear
>pretend to be going to the bathroom
>I go back to empty classroom, see everybody's schoolbags n shit is just laying around
>decide I want to play a big prank on this girl
>open her bag
>she has a phone
>mfw phones are banned at our school because muh microwave raydeeayyshun gon fry ur brain
>it's not even locked
>now thinking at 1000 gajillion teraflops per second
>the possibilities are endless
>must search for nudes
>search pics, nothing
>must search for embarrasing messages
>or text/call someone she knows?
>maybe steal the phone
>ain't nobody got time fo dat
>decide not to hang around any longer in case I get caught
>she had it on silent, I put it on full volume and set an alarm to go off during the next class
>sure enough it does
>she is shocked and embarrased, starts crying
>teacher is strict as fuck, she gets detention
>they never even suspected me
aaahh... good times
i live in toronto and almost everybody calls it soda
>go to home depot
>go directly to paint section
>grab the designer paint $40/can
>take 2-3 cans directly to return section and refund with no receipt
>do this 3-4 times per week at diff stores, the bay, eatons, anywhere that didnt require receipt for return
>do this all through high school and never got caught
How can they even proof you had insider knowledge? I mean suspicion is one thing but if someone tells you what will happen, that person would be an idiot to confess because they won't have anything on him.
choose not to believe me if you wish.. dont le tthe fact i'm tryping this out on a hp z6000 dual quad knocked from another investment bank deter you.
IT runs the bank.
Early days of stock market tracking computer software. Inside buys/sells have a unique pattern in stock trade records. If buy before a corp buys stock or announces buy, is always suspicious. SEC watches for shit like that. Covers (the guys I worked with) swore we wouldn't be tracked/caught. Nope.jpg. Always risky in any case.
I post fake job ads on craigslist for positions I am interested in. I get tons of resumes from people who are looking for similar positions in my area. Then I make sure my resume stands out from the rest when I apply for a real job.
When using a self-checkout, weigh everything as if it were bananas. One pound of Starbursts? 38 cents. Earbuds are bananas. Drinks are bananas. Everything is bananas. Plus, you walk out with a receipt so nothing looks sketchy about it.
Years ago I didn't want to tollbridge so I took shortcut. I'm only car on this alt bridge. Thought that's weird. other side construction workers saw me driving looked at me like I was retarded but fuck you guys didn't have to pay toll.
>Unexpected item in fucking bagging area
>"Not bagging this item"
Do your walmarts not give you this option? Always does for me.
>shoplift at virgin megastore and HMV oxford street London - best haul was way over 300 pounds worth of games and dvd's (not bad for 14 year old)
>sign up fake referrals to amazon's refer a friend (£5 each "friend") by using fake email addresses I set up made a lot of money doing this.
>use fake emails to get free stuff - telling companies I was from official magazones and getting stuff sent to 'review'
>working at a checkout and stealing card info to buy shit off amazon
>signing up for credit cards with fake names to empty addresses and stealing via post getting pin and info, withdrawing up to £7k via ATM's wearing motorbike helmet.
and if you build shit and need like 20 pieces of plywood, snag a sticker off cheap shit like underlayment(about 6$/sheet) and put onto say, cabinet grade plywood(40$/sheet) and ring up with stupidest looking nigger. they dunno wtf it is. added bonus-if you dont need it you can return without receipt and get gift card for what you do need. or be a crackhead and sell to someone for 75% of value.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AS FUCKING IF
you'll die having a fraction of the amount of success and happiness you could have had if you'd just played it safe
Although you probably would have fucking it all up if you had money anyways.
9/10 It's the person not the company
Because I was the security guard that saw him doing it, pointed him out to the cop that was there talking to me. Saw cop later that week, told me the guy got a year so fuck you and your penny annie brain.
Okay, dumb aspie shit. Who was the president in 1976? Who was he in 1980? 1984? 88? 92? (this one always gets those who weren't alive then.)
>InB4 googleit. NO YOU CAN'T GOOGLE IT FAGGOT>
I used to sell drugs when I was younger. I lived in a large suburban area, and there was a fairly sizable Mormon population there. Whenever I'd go to re-up (only time I'd ever have drugs in the car) I'd dress up as a Mormon (white short sleeve shirt shirt tucked in, black tie, black dress pants) and have a copy of The Book of Mormon and a banana sitting on the front seat. I got pulled over once and he left me off with a warning; I had two pounds of pot in the trunk.
>be working at dick's sporting goods circa 2007 as baseball lead
>be out of baseball due to age (22) but still have little brother playing high school ball
>brand new Hybrid bat due to come out, we get first shipment, not in the system yet
>i plan swiftly and flawlessly
>i open a yoga mat and roll one of these bats up inside it ($500 bat)
>plant it in the soccer aisle in a cart.
>friend nonchalantly walks in, grabs cart, buys mat with cashier i've already recruited.
>stashes bat in my vehicle
>drives to different location two days later and returns the yoga mat for full refund.
>Give little brother the bat for 17th bday gift. he was aware it was hot merchandise lol
>in high school
>they got new desktops
>Become head of school newspaper
>last one out of class
>steals a shitload of computers piece by piece
>Sold on ebay making anywhere to 20.00 to 130.00 a pop on parts
>work at staples
>used to take out ram, swap hard drives and steal the 'recycled' desktops
>sold parts on ebay and made about 4000.00 a month
>Be last year
>works a walmart
>In charge of high ticket electronics
>daily I have to lock computers and games up
>no camera in Electronics(shitty walmart)
>Steals about 4 games a week and laptops
>Manager finds out-
>that I stole a Energy Drink
>Fired but made tons of money
>Work a Weapon Pool and live in barracks
>Steals Parts to weapons(mostly M16/a2 parts and ammo)
>Steals high ticket electronics from barracks rats
>Make killing weekly
>military pays me 2100.00 a month
>Profit about 1700.00 weekly.
I need a new hobby.
except the guy weighing all his items
My brother is friends with a bunch a luddites, they want free movies. I buy a cheap portable hdd, load it up with shit loads of TV series, movies, music. Everything I usually torrent for myself. Sell it on for usually £30 over what I paid for the hdd.
No shortage of morons.
>be me going into gamestop to buy new game.
>Go to counter, gorgeous woman working there.
>I fall instantly in love but beta shy as fuck.
>Try to talk to her, spaghetti falls out of my mouth onto counter.
>Choke back stray sketti strands, try to smile.
>She giggles, looks at me like I'm cute or something, starts going all shy, too.
>Tries to say something, spaghetti falls out of her mouth onto counter.
>We both stand there staring at it then at each other.
>Suddenly gorgeous counter girl tears off top like raging ape.
>She leaps over counter, snatches me up like mad sasquatch and races out the door with me under her arm.
>She hollers something incomprehensable and we're off flying, spagetti flying from all pockets.
>Land in remote forest region.
>She grabs her head and pulls.
>Off comes mask and she really is magic purple sasquatch.
>She throws me to the ground, spaghetti flying everywhere now.
>Happily rapes me into blissful unconsciousness.
>Shit was so cash, man.
>friend worked, closed liquor store at night.
>friend turned lights off in store before closing.
>we then raided store for free booze. Got fucked up just about every night.
>sometimes we'd go back to store to restock for our friends and the occasional slut.
>owner never kept up with inventory. Seemingly didn't give a shit. He owned a golf course too.
>fuck those were the days